


Hello Once Again

by hrelics9



Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII Remake (Video Game 2020)
Genre: Alien Biology, Alien Mythology/Religion, Alien horror, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Alternative Timeline, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, BAMF Aerith Gainsborough, BAMF Cloud Strife, BAMF Tifa Lockhart, Blood and Injury, Bottom Cloud Strife, Canon-Typical Violence, Changing Fate, Cloud's got pretty eyes, Clouds a shy badass, Clouds a twink omg, Comatose Cloud, Crazy insane Sephiroth, Crossdressing, Dumb boys making dumb choices, End of the World, Everyone Needs A Hug, F/F, F/M, FFVII REMAKE compliant, Fix It, Fluff and Smut, Follows FFVII and FFVIIR lightly then takes a hard left., Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Jenova Project (Compilation of FFVII), Jessie/Biggs/Wedge are the best trio and they adopt Cloud and Zack for life, M/M, Majority centers on Zack/Cloud, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Mentally damaged Zack, Midgar centered, No Cloud doesn't think he's Zack, Over use of the word: Hollow, Past Zack Fair/Aerith Gainsborough, Pick and Choose Canon compliant, Protective Cloud Strife, Protective Zack Fair, Smut, Sorta puppet Cloud, Timeloops, Tiny slow-burn, Top Zack Fair, Weird Jenova cell things, Weird lifestream things, Zack and Cloud are little shits, Zacks a big softie, Zacks got kinks okay, but not really, lots of eyecontact, might get really really dark, powerbottom cloud
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-10
Updated: 2020-10-23
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:34:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 24
Words: 283,969
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24102946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hrelics9/pseuds/hrelics9
Summary: There's a shift in the universe Zack's not aware of. Running from death and kicking ass, all he can do is get Cloud as far away from Nibelheim and Hojo as he can. Hopefully running right back to the heart of Shinra doesn't backfire on him. He got Cloud into this mess to begin with, he better be able to get him out of it.Zack is alive, spoilers for remake, loosely canon and I mean loosely. Fix it Fic. Starts at end of Crisis Core. Or the end of the remake? What is this nonsense. Also loosely canon CC.
Relationships: Aerith Gainsborough/Tifa Lockhart, Biggs/Jessie (Compilation of FFVII), Zack Fair/Cloud Strife
Comments: 770
Kudos: 1170





	1. Once in a lifetime

**Author's Note:**

> Hello all, It's been a long while, but FFVIIR did it, it drew me back in, to the hell that is Clack. I thought Sterek would be the end, but no. 90's video games are my undoing.
> 
> There's no character bashing here, also no beta, so sorry if there's errors, I will do my best. But sometimes I rush. I just get excited. And I write/edit at night, everyone knows not to do that. FML 
> 
> Don't be shy! You'll get enough of Cloud doing that, so say hi, chat, tell me what you guys think of the remake! I love it, who doesn't love a new universe/timeline of one of the best games, double the fun. Thanks for reading!

It starts with an explosion.

Or maybe it ends with one…

There’s a gagging smell of smoke and ozone, fire; Heat burning from the outside in and the rush of all sound in the world pulling inward. Silence stretching and stretching, become white and blurry, and then minty. Minty and sharp and chemically. Mako, so much mako and fire and no sound.

Then, unexpectedly, a gentle breeze.

And flowers, a soft perfume of yellow flowers and the ghost of a gentle laugh.

“No…not this way, let’s start over.”

There’s an explosion…

***

Zack’s got a strong itch between his shoulder blades, telling him time is running out, _his_ time. Or maybe it’s all the bullet scratches and the shrapnel from the helicopter explosion.

Or you know, still the many foot soldiers in front of him.

Whatever, point is, he can feel death’s hands at his back. After everything, dying here, so close to Midgar. Seems a bit unfair.

A year of running, and before than four in a stupid mako tank. No, no _way._ He’s just gotta ignore that itch. One more go around, he can do it, no problem. Not for a SOLDIER.

“Wait…” he peeks around his buster sword, it is suddenly too quiet.

It’s a punch to the gut. Nothing staring right back at him. There’s no one there. No more bullets, no more ShinRa foot soldiers. No Turks. Nothing but the rain and shining metal of Midgar. He could have sworn…

“That’s it?” Mako fills his senses, just for a moment, almost making him gag. The rain slows and the sunlight chases it away. A faint scent on the wind, flowers?

Zack can hardly believe his luck. There’s a nasty wound on his right side and he needs a gallon of water like yesterday, but he’s standing. _He’s alive._

Giddiness erupts in the pit of his stomach, “Hey Cloud,” he calls out, heavily leaning on his buster sword. He’ll have to rest up a little bit if he’s gonna keep dragging Cloud around with him, “Did you see that?” can’t believe his luck. 

It’s fitting though, almost five years of bad luck. The universe owes him something at least. If it’s just this, barely living another day; He’ll take it.

There are a lot of dead bodies around him. He’s assuming they are dead, not like he’s got the energy to stop and check all of them. Gotta use what he’s got left to get back to Cloud. He can see Cloud’s boot peeking out from the rocks he shielded him behind. Just a few more steps. Except you know, a freaking force of _something_ knocks him right down to the quickly drying rocks. Fucking, rude. It’s not as if he’s bleeding out his side or anything. It came from Midgar, and it’s so bright, looking at the city, feels like he’s looking at the sun and _there_ ; the scent of flowers again. His side feels a bit better and it’s not as hard as he thought standing back on his feet.

Blue skies and a soft breeze settle his nerves. Something feels different in the air as if everything in the universe shifted just so.

No, that shit doesn’t happen. He’s being dumb. He huffs out a laugh, he better hurry before his luck changes again.

“Cloud, hey, you see how awesome that was? Bet I looked pretty cool.”

Cloud’s sitting pretty where Zack put him, a little dusty and rain-wet maybe, but perfectly fine. Except for the mako poisoning and whatever else Hojo did to him. Zack leans his buster against the rocks and slides down next to Cloud, leaning heavily on him.

“You wanna carry me the rest of the way?” Zack laughs softy to himself and leans a little more against Cloud.

He thinks Cloud’s hand twitches, but Zack’s been telling himself for months now that Cloud’s been looking better. He can’t actually tell though.

“No huh? Can’t blame you, I’m way heavier then you are. Just gonna rest for a moment, okay?” Zack shuts his eyes from the sun. There’s enough mana running in his veins to use his healing materia one last time, but he wants to save it in case Cloud starts going south. Wouldn’t be the first time.

Nah, he’ll just rest for a bit. He can feel his side starting to stitch itself back together anyway. He’s never been more thankful for the SOLDIER enhancements then he is right now. Just a few moments to shut his eyes, that's all he needs. Just a few.

“Z-Za-Zack.”

Smells minty like mako again.

“Zac-Zack.”

Who's talking to him? He's alone. Or maybe... isn't there something? He’s supposed to be doing something, but the pain in his side is distracting. Everything’s a little out of focus, hazy and heavy. So blue, when did the sky get that blue?

No, not the sky.

He’s been staring into those baby blues forever now, how could he forget. Except, they're in the wrong spot...

“Cloud.”

Cloud’s leaning over Zack, not very well. On his knees and his whole body is shaking with the strain. He lifts a stiff arm out, Zack’s name falling from his barely moving lips. His twitching hand grazes over Zack’s side, must be blood there, before his body falls the rest of the way into Zack’s chest.

It doesn’t hurt, Cloud’s light from starvation and mako. Zack just gathers him closer, shifting him away from his left side. Relief floods through his whole body, cleansing all his worry and giving him a renewed direction.

“We’re almost there, Cloud.” He says, pulling the blond up with him. Cloud is still shivering and he can barely lift his head to look at Zack. The light in his eyes a bit dimmer, unfocused, and fading back into the mako. Seems he used all the energy he had making sure Zack was alive. That’s okay. He woke, he moved on his own, he _spoke_ to him. Zack can feel his eyes getting misty. He’s alive, Cloud’s only semi-comatose. Everything’s going to be fine.

Okay, time to push forward. He slips his buster sword on his back and hauls Cloud a little closer on his right side. Time to baby his left for a while, but it’s healed enough for now. Cloud’s a familiar weight on him. He seems to be pulling his legs forward better, not leaning as much.

Good, that’s good. It’ll keep Zack grounded the rest of the way.

The cliff is not as high as it looks, a narrow path zig-zags in a comforting easy slope. It’s just a wide-open stretch of red, dust desert to the city after that. Nowhere to hide if ShinRa sends more forces out to greet them. If they make it by nightfall though…

“Z-ac-” Cloud’s a constant hum. Little gasps of air and broken fragments of speech. Mostly Zack’s name. It’s the sweetest thing Zack’s ever heard.

Zack pulls him forward with more force, a small pit of panic low in his stomach as the road opens up to flatness. Cloud doesn’t seem to have trouble picking up the pace of his leg drag at least. At a constant pace, they’ll make it. Golden hour is surrounding them, reflecting like water in Cloud’s pale hair and casting long shadows in their wake. Shadows that get longer and longer as they go, Cloud getting slower with each step. Midgar’s plate eventually swallows them, still a good while from the gates, but it helps cool Zack’s throbbing side and aching muscles.

The closer they get more and more piles of rust and metal build-up. Discarded projects, old war machines, and useless tech. It pulls a feeling of loneliness out of Zack. He tries not to think of Angeal. Rubble and trash mean somewhere to hide, which is what they need as the wall looms overhead. Loud crushing of rocks under wheels rushes upon them from behind. Zack stumbles behind a hollowed-out tube of concrete, pulling Cloud flush against him.

“Sorry,” he whispers in Cloud’s hair, “couldn’t wait for you to keep up.”

There’s no response and the mako in Cloud’s eyes is brighter than before. Zack can’t tell if its cause nightfall is upon them or because Cloud’s slipping away again. He huffs and tightens his arms around him anyway.

More than a few trucks pull to a slow in front of the wall, section 8, the large number is reviled by the slow opening gate. A few of the drivers jump out and start poking around in their truck beds, checking off something on a datapad. Supplies then, since no militia is accompanying the trucks. Lucky again. If Zack can stay in the shadows, he might be able to sneak in as the gates are closing back up. There should be no guards on the other side; it’s all controlled from a room somewhere up on the plate. No reason for wasted manpower for an ordinary supply run.

“Right.” Zack checks once more around the concrete before shuffling Cloud around onto his back. Hikes Cloud’s thighs up around his waist and holds on tight. His neck tickles where Cloud’s shallow puffs of air blow onto his skin.

Two cameras that can see them, but they are both pointed at the line of trucks. It’s just an easy sneak around the massive tires and ducking right into the towering piles of rubble the second they are inside the wall. It’s good timing they arrived in the evening, darker than midnight underneath the plate already. His heart is pound as the trucks slowly drive on and the gate starts to close with a shattering shake to the ground.

Along the wall not too far off the 'road' a bunch of metal sheets are prompt up against an old plane and never used concrete sewage tubes. It’s rusty and has holes punched through here and there, but it is hidden from the road. Good enough for one night.

Slipping Cloud onto the ground as gently as his wounded side will let him, Zack checks him over. Soft grazes, a light bop under his chin to look in his eyes. They glow back at Zack, mirroring his own. There’s no focus anymore, but not quite as dull as other times. It drags a heavy sigh from Zack.

“We made it.” A year, a whole long _year_ of running and fighting just to stay one step ahead. A fresh breath of slummy air fills his lungs and it’s so promising and safe.

Zack doesn’t bother holding back the sting in his eyes, just lets them fall silently down his face and he goes with them, leaning down on Cloud’s shoulder and holding on tight. In the last four years, he couldn’t do anything to save anyone. Just a shit show after shit show. Not Angeal, not Genesis. Fuck, the whole goddamn town of Nibelheim, feels like yesterday he woke in smoke and ash and screaming.

“I’m sorry Cloud.” His voice is rough and quiet, pushed into the fabric of Cloud’s stolen SOLDIER uniform. He puts the rest of his weight on Cloud, exhaustion settling in his bones. The smell of fire and mako and something other, lingering in his senses. It gets stronger as he drifts into unconsciousness. Echoes of screaming and pain, of _Sephiroth._

Somehow it all quiets. With a small stuttering gasp of breath and a weak embrace around his back.

_“Zack.”_

We made it.

***

Sun rays peek through the holes in the metal sheets above them, bouncing off the walls and warming the closed-off section of rubble. Enough light to make Zack see red behind his closed eyes. A little bit of fear keeps him from waking completely. Doesn’t feel real. Maybe it’s not. Maybe he’s dead back on that cliff. Or still floating around the fucking mako tank under burnt Nibelheim. He takes a deep breath, just to prepare, just in case.

He gets a strong whiff of sewage and general uncleanliness, a sure sign of Midgar slums. He can’t stop the chuckle rumbling through his body. Nothing like the stench of poverty to bring him back to reality.

One that he’s grateful for. He risks opening his eyes. Yep. It’s real, the metal above him, the dull sound of people waking for their day in the distance. Cloud’s hair tickles his chin as he looks around, he’s a solid weight on Zack’s chest. Somehow, Zack ended up on his back with Cloud all tucked up in his neck, not an inch of the blonde’s body on the ground. Zack gives him a little squeeze. No response, no noise or movement.

It gives his chest that weird hollow feeling of nostalgia.

Using one arm to hold Cloud to him, he uses his other elbow to push up. His side pulls a bit, but it feels much better and there’s no sticky blood –coagulating-feeling. He’s not stiff and sore anymore either.

Fucking starving though. There’s a deep rumble in his stomach immediately after that thought.

“Ugh, shouldn’t have thought it, Cloud.” He mumbles and shifts up some more.

Cloud goes easily with him, still pressed safely into his neck. Zack’s aware it’s probably not healthy that he feels its where Cloud belongs, tucked against him and safe. Or that when he’s not, Zack feels like he’s on verge of panic. Co-dependent a voice says in the back of his mind. Whatever, there’s that nostalgia again.

They’ve got to move. They are too close to the gate. Bad news for getting spotted by cameras and monsters. But he just can’t. Just a little longer and he’ll move. He just wants to sit for once, sit, and not think about all the shit that seems to be hiding in his shadow. He also has no idea what to do next. The whole get to Midgar and become mercenaries plan didn’t really include what the hell he was gonna do once he got here. Plus, he was kind of expecting Cloud to be up and walking by now.

The thought makes his chest feel even more hollow.

Hollow, hollow. He feels as if he’s just slipping into nothing.

Maybe Hojo did something else to him. More than the mako and creepy-ass Jenova cells.

“Mmph.” There we go, just what he needs, any sound from Cloud is a good sign, even if it is the tiniest groan.

“Hey, you there?”

Cloud’s lashes flutter one too many times and he shifts all on his own. Pulling back just enough that Zack can see the deep blue of his eyes waking up.

“Look at those pretty eyes, huh?” Zack squeezes the back of Cloud’s neck, drawing him more from his slumber.

Cloud’s focus is a bit dim and he drifts his gaze around a little too long before settling on staring right into Zack’s eyes. He breathes deep, like it’s a struggle too, and tries to speak.

Zack just gets a mid-tone gasp and trapped words in a small sound.

“It’s okay, I got you Spikes,”

Cloud manages an irritated grunt at him and shoves himself from Zack’s chest. (Not very far though, probably used all his strength too.) He’s taking in painful breaths, but the glare he’s sending Zack seems to be worth it to him. They sit there, barely a foot from each other just staring. Cloud’s panting is loud in the morning air.

“O-kay- this is going nowh-”

“-No.” Cloud manages, cutting Zack off.

It’s just so ridiculous, barely able to hold his own body up and panting like he ran the whole way to Midgar. But he’s staring down Zack like it’s his fault he can’t move. If he wasn’t so tired, he might be a bit irritated. Instead, a surprising bubble of laughter gets stuck in his throat.

“No?” he echoes back, “no, I don’t got you?”

Cloud remains inexpressive, except for the glaring. Pulling strength from somewhere, shoves himself up onto his knees, swaying the whole time.

“I can-I can-,”

“-do it yourself?” Zack murmurs, the laughter dies quickly in his chest. That look in his eyes, desperate yet guarded. He should have guessed Cloud would be feeling a little guilty.

He _does_ manage it, out of sheer determination maybe, Cloud’s standing on his own. Sort of, a shaky arm is out and pressed against a wall. Zack can see it before Cloud feels it though. The tremor in his left thigh, the locking of his right knee. It’s taking everything Cloud has just to keep from falling back onto Zack. Whatever irritation he had drains away from him, leaving a soft warmth that he doesn’t know what to do with.

Zack is up and catching Cloud as his knee buckles, so fast Cloud probably hasn't even realized he’s collapsed.

“I’m f-fine.” Cloud’s pouting into Zack’s shoulder.

“Just let me. You can struggle all you want later, just let me get us someplace to stay. Okay?”

He doesn’t want to force Cloud, so he waits, holding him awkwardly mid-fall until a small “hmph” vibrates against his skin and Cloud tucks his head in a tiny nod.

Zack shifts around until Cloud is piggybacking on his back again, “there, this way you can be my second eyes, yeah?”

He gets a blank stare. This one is just normal quiet Cloud stare instead of the ever-present coma stare. Zack thinks he sees a tiny spark of irritation there. Cloud does tighten his arms together, pulling himself up more around Zack’s shoulders.

Right. Okay, now, somewhere to stay.

“Wait,” Cloud says, no stutter at all this time, “…buster sword.”

 _Right._ “You hold on to it for me?” Zack asks, leaning over so Cloud can take it from its spot against the wall. Slowly, he manages it, even slings it onto the SOLDIER harness strapped to himself. It leaves Cloud panting in his ear and arms slung a little lifelessly around his neck. Zack tightens his hold on Cloud’s thighs.

Everything’s giving him that stupid hollow nostalgia. He’ll blame it on being hungry. He doesn’t even know what he’s longing for.

Normalness maybe. As normal as it ever got in SOLDIER.

“Zack.”

Okay, seriously, time to go.

It must be pretty early in the morning, not many people have left their homes yet. It’s good, Zack knows they look out of place. So the fewer people the better. People can be scruffy down here in the slums, but not like them. He’s lucky the SOLDIER uniforms are dark, hides all the blood left on his healing skin. Unfortunately, stares follow them because of the uniforms. The buster sword strapped to Cloud’s back also doesn’t help.

Plus you know, he’s carrying a person on his back.

And they are covered in dust from the desert.

And they probably smell terrible.

And-

Cloud huffs a little louder into his ear, resting his cheek against Zack’s neck in a knowing pressure.

It makes him chuckle under his breath and he hikes Cloud up a little better.

“Alright, I hear ya. Thanks.”

Cloud’s always been good about stopping his tangents.

Zack can hear the train not too far off, which means they don’t have too far to get to the station. Another lucky break, supply run roads are often a straight shot to the train. At least on the train, they can ride for a bit before they have to get off. Going to the upper plate is a hard no. Even if the ID scan doesn’t flag them, ShinRa will still have people keeping an eye out. Maybe not so much for Cloud, but Zack. He’s a first-class SOLDIER, one of the only ones being mentored by one of the great generals. Or was, before all the freaky alien shit started coming out of the dark to play.

ShinRa can’t ignore him for long if they notice him strolling around up top. Down in the slums though, he could get by for a while, pass off as just a familiar face. Hopefully.

That’s the plan anyway.

Why did he think coming back to Midgar was a good idea?

The station is pretty clear, still early enough for the workers to be getting ready. Which also means the train will be pretty empty. He’ll get on in the back car, close to the supply compartments. Hang back from people as best they can till sector 5.

He feels a bit bad. Four years, no word from him and he’s just going to show up on her.

He doesn’t even know her that well, just thought she was a cute girl that laughed at his jokes and smiled sweetly when he wasn’t looking. Most of their time together is written in ink and sent on crumpled paper. But she’s the only one he knows in the city that’s not ShinRa. And they get on well, dare he say his only friend left in the whole city. Besides Cloud.

Aerith’s gentle and she’ll be sweet to Cloud too. They could both use some tenderness.

As the train comes to a loud stop, he hangs back until most of the passengers have left or gotten on, sliding onto the last commerce car just before the doors close. There are only three people on the train car; A larger young guy in a white shirt, a petite high pony-tailed girl, and a rather good looking tanned man. All three at them glance at him, but their gazes don’t linger. They’re at the far end; So Zack goes left, close to the door connecting the train cars.

He sets Cloud down onto the seat, the buster sword on his back clanking loudly with the metal. Zack winces and pulls it off Cloud’s back to put on his own. Cloud’s out of it again, but he thinks its just normal sleep, judging from the soft puffs of air. He’s snoring. Barely.

Zack smirks, “cute.” He teases and can’t resist reaching out and ruffling Cloud’s hair.

He doesn’t sit down, just holds onto the seat rail as the train starts up again. He can shield Cloud from view easier this way. And most people don’t linger their gazes on his back, no matter how out of place they look. A face is always more interesting than the back of a head.

Not long after the train has been speeding down the tracks, the door closest to him opens. The person walks past quickly, a hair from nudging him, and, straight to the group in the back. It’s a weird sense of urgency in the air that gets him to glance over.

A young woman with long black hair and red boots is talking in rushed whispers with the other three. Something about her…

He can’t see her face completely, she's mostly turned her back to him, but something seems familiar. He stares too long, the woman with the ponytail looks directly at him and they all fall silent.

Shit. He’s supposed to _not_ be bringing attention to himself. Keeping his gaze on Cloud is a little harder now, especially that he can feel them linger their own eyes on him. It’s distracting and giving him that itch between his shoulder blades when something weird is going on. The same one back on the cliff.

He glances at them again and is met with a slightly intimidating gaze of deep red eyes.

Oh, he knows those eyes.

Shit.

It’s the girl from Nibelheim; the one Cloud is friends with. Tina? No, Tifa. Well double shit, the last time he saw her, her whole town was on fire. Indirectly because of him, but still ShinRa’s fault overall. Oh yeah, and Sephiroth had shoved his sword through her father. Triple shit.

Even from all the way on the other side of the train car, he sees the moment of clarity in her eyes. She recognizes him too. Maybe his luck will hang in there and –nope. No, she’s coming over. Irrationally, he grips his buster sword and shields Cloud a little more with his body.

Her body is rigid with tension and he’s not blind to the tight stomach muscles she’s showing off, or the line of well-worked biceps in her arms.

“SOLDIER Zack Fair,” her voice doesn’t match the intense waves of emotion rolling off her body, but he wouldn’t call it friendly, “what the hell ar-Cloud?”

Right, see. He’s getting dumb. She knows Cloud. Friends, he had said. He’s also mildly impressed she remembers him. Zack steps to the side a bit, dropping his grip from his weapon and letting Cloud’s sleeping form be more visible to Tifa.

He’s not expecting to be shoved even more to the side, Tifa kneels down to look up at Cloud. Her hands seem to be shaking with adrenaline, or nerves. They linger over Cloud’s sleeping face.

“Wha-how?” she glances at him in alarm.

“I didn’t do this to him.” Zack winces with the loudness in his voice. Also, _why._ The reaction in Tifa’s face says she had not thought that.

She probably is now though.

She goes from nerves to protective in less than a second. All for a blonde boy she hasn’t heard from in four years.

There’s that hollow feeling.

The train is starting to slow down and the ding for sector 7 stop is too loud in his ears.

“Look, it’s a long story,” he’s got nothing to lose, in fact; maybe he can get help from her. This way…this way he won’t have to bother Aerith. Not with this.

“Try me,” Tifa says, placing her own body in front of Cloud, arms crossed and flexing.

“Great, I will, just-Please not here. I need to get him somewhere safe.”

The other three are coming down the train car now. He’s not really up to fighting, but if they keep him from Cloud…

“I-”

“-please.” The train rolls to a stop and the doors hiss open.

Something she likes must show on his face. She softens all at once and steps to the side so he can gather Cloud against his body. He doesn’t bother dragging him, just lifts him up and against his chest.

“Tifa, what is going on?” one of the guys asks.

“Yeah, who are these chumps?”

 _Chumps_ …Zack glances at the ponytail girl. She’s got remarkably soft and sweet brown eyes, they sparkle with mischief.

Tifa waves a slender hand at him to follow. Sector 7 station is packed, the morning rush finally out and about. It leaves Zack drained; waking up under that ruined plane feels days away.

The other three follow after them, ponytail girl skipping around him and poking at Tifa with quick glances behind her. The two guys hang back behind Zack. He can feel their unsure gazes burning on the back of his neck. The crowds get bigger and Zack has to step up his pace to keep up with Tifa, she’s determinedly not speaking to anyone in their odd group.

This could be a mistake, but that look in her eyes, when she went all protective on Cloud. He knows that fire in his own stomach. Felt it burning and growing all year.

She veers off to the left and up some well-kept steps of a large wooden building, Seventh Heaven large and green like a beacon dead center on the building’s front face. Tifa holds the door open for him,

“In here.” She says.

It’s a bar. Well, a restaurant he supposes, but the bar is large and cumbersome at the far end. There are arcade games and darts to his right. Warm and homey feeling.

Tifa turns her open sign around and places a chair in front of the doors. The two men stand attention at that and Zack gets that ‘fight me’ feeling again.

“Jessie, grab the cot from the back.” Tifa’s already pouring water into two large pint glasses. Zack could kiss her.

“Sure thing,” Ponytai-Jessie, disappears through a door to the left in the back.

Tifa stares at him. If he’s supposed to feel pressed into spilling everything, there’s no need. He’s tired and starving and he just wants somewhere that Cloud can sleep for days and days. His will is pretty close to broken and now that he’s out of the public eye, all he feels is exhaustion.

“So, ShinRa’s a fucking shit show.” He starts with. A surprised “huh” from behind him is encouraging, “Had to come all the way from Nibelheim with them on my ass.”

Jessie reappears with a fold-out cot, “say what?” she says, unfolding it.

Zack slips Cloud down onto it immediately and ignores everything around him. He slips the shoulder guards of the SOLDIER uniform off and unbuckles the sword harness. Puts them aside with little care and shifts Cloud’s body to his side so he can curl up like he likes too. Zack takes note of him, there are a few little scrapes and cuts he hasn’t noticed, and a dark spot on the side of Cloud’s top. Looks like where he kept leaning on Zack’s injured side, so he’s guessing it’s his own blood for that stain.

He sighs and ruffles Cloud’s hair. A habit, settles his nerves and the fight or flight constantly screaming in his gut.

He expects Tifa to be annoyed, but when he stands and refocuses, the softness and knowing on her face makes his heart thump painfully.

“What happened?” seemingly calmer then she was before. She pushes the pint of water toward him and he goes, sits on the stool closest to Cloud. The water is cold and amazing. Refreshes his body even with that slightly weird feeling of it traveling into his empty stomach.

He’s not really looking to go into detail, can’t even. Somethings are still a little hazy past the need to get the fuck outta Hojo’s lab. He’s not sure anyone would believe some of it anyway.

“After…after the fire. ShinRa sent in a cleanup team. One of the professors took us in his lab under the town.”

“The fire was four years ago.”

“I know.”

“You were there for four years.”

“I _know_. I’m aware. ShinRa…they, he did things to us. We weren’t there as employees or militia.”

The silence in the bar rings loud in his ears; he takes another long drink of cold water. He wishes it didn’t taste like mako.

“What’s wrong with Cloud?”

“Mako poisoning.”

Jessie gasps a little and Tifa’s lips thin out in a frown.

“Biggs, can you grab the first aid from the back?” Tifa asks, “you’re bleeding.”

Huh, he hadn’t even felt his wound re-open. Jessie leans around the bar to look at him.

“Wedge, take his weapon will you-to put in a safe place.” Tifa corrects at his flinch and the larger man comes over to Zack, holding open his palms in a peace greeting. Zack chuckles and relaxes, takes the buster off his back, and hands it over.

There’s a very long silence of everyone looking at him.

“So,” Tifa tries once more, “I’m guessing you no longer are working for ShinRa.”

“Fuck no. Never thought I’d be saying I’m an ex-SOLDIER,” he gets lost in the past, “it was my whole…everything I guess.”

“Cloud was like that too, for a while before he left. It’s all he talked about.”

Zack doesn’t bother mentioning Cloud never made it into SOLDIER. What’s the point, if he fully recovers, the mako will have given him everything Zack has. It wasn’t like Cloud couldn’t fight either, no…now it’ll be like he’d been accepted into the program all along. Might even do his self-confidence some good.

Biggs comes back, already popping open the small kit. Pulls out a potion and some cleaning supplies, a little bit of bandage.

“Here,” Biggs hands him the potion and waits for him to down it.

Zack hates these things, tastes too similar to mako. It’ll help kick start his superior healing though, so why not.

“Got any mana?” he asks, could skip all this nonsense completely, and just use his healing materia. He still wants to hold back what he’s got left for Cloud.

“Sorry, we’re out.” Biggs motions for Zack to lean over and expose his left side more.

Everyone winces at the sight of his wound; he doesn’t really want to look.

“Is that shrapnel stuck in you?” Wedge pales, siding over onto Zack’s right side.

So that’s what the burning is. “Yank it out?” he suggests. Biggs looks a little horrified before schooling his expression and just goes for it. It slides out of his side easy; the cool air in the bar feels good around it.

“Doesn’t’ look infected yet, still, good thing you took that potion.”

“How long has that been there?” Jessie’s leaning so far over the counter; her hair is lingering dangerously close to the ground. Zack shrugs.

“Whoa, already.” Biggs sounds dazed and pulls away after dabbing the rest of the blood away from the wound.

Everyone crams around to look, it’s making him blush. All four of them watch with widen eyes as his skin starts stitching itself back together. It’s helped some by the potion, but Angeal always said he healed faster than any SOLDIER he knew. Even Sephiroth.

“Alright, thanks. If we’re done. I think I need to take Cloud somewhere…less public, before he wakes up.”

“Wakes up?” Jessie furrows her thin brows, “I thought you said he has mako poisoning.”

“Yeah he does, he snapped out of it for the first time yesterday.”

“What? How?!” the sudden intensity in her eyes is startling, anger building in them. It’s an odd reaction.

“Jessie,” Tifa touches her arm, “not now.”

“-What, no way, I wanna know, how is that possible? People don’t just wake up fro-”

“-Jessie, not now,” Tifa walks around the bar, “come on, I have a place you can stay.”

“Tifa!”

He only feels a little bad she’s getting so worked up, but Cloud is first. So he scoops him up, grabs his buster sword and follows Tifa out the door.

“Sorry, about Jessie,” Tifa says a way aways from the bar.

“She knows someone with mako poisoning?” it’s the logical guess. He feels a little bit worse. Tifa’s silence is all the answer he needs. Jessie’s not completely wrong; most people don’t wake from mako poisoning. They usually die. He’s not sure why Cloud has, must be his apparent stubbornness.

He’s got a headache suddenly and the slum is bustling with too many people. He’s glad when Tifa slows down outside a rundown two-story apartment building.

“Go on, wait upstairs, apartment two. I’ll go grab the keys, you can meet Marle later. We should get Cloud settled.”

He’s without Tifa for only a moment before she’s unlocking the door and leading him in. It’s tiny and dark. There’s only one bed, barely big enough for two of them to fit. Maybe not even, Cloud’s pretty small at 5’7, but Zack can already tell his long legs are going to stick over the bottom.

“I’ll talk to Marle about another bed…or at least a bigger one.”

“It's fine, I’m pretty used to cuddling up with this guy.” He says and jostles Cloud a little. Tifa helps pull the covers on the bed back and takes Zack’s buster sword to lean on the wall.

He lays Cloud down for a second time today and pulls the covers over him. He’s probably not cold, but maybe the weight will be a comfort. He wants to just crawl in next to him and pass out. The potion was a little strong and it’s making him sleepy. Tifa’s lingering in the doorway.

“Um, I’ll come by later with some food?” Zack nods at her, “ okay, water is safe to drink, there’s enough juice in the heater for a hot shower or two. I’ll work on finding some clothes for you two?” she finishes.

Couldn’t hurt. He’ll stand out more if he keeps wearing his SOLDIER uniform. At least all of it anyway.

“Thanks, Tifa.”

“I still want that whole story.”

Zack’s laugh falls flat, “you sure, it’s a sad one.”

A beat, “I know…I was part of it.”

The sting is sharp and makes his headache throb.

“I’ll be by later.” She closes the door behind her gently, a single quiet click.

He kicks off his boots, takes off his weapon belt, shoulder guards, and gloves. Falls gently onto the bed, curls around Cloud, and easily slips into sleep…His feet totally do hang off the bottom.

***

He wakes from dreams of green. Green mako and green eyes filled with insanity and a cold rage. It’s quiet, so he’s not sure what woke him. A tiny click draws his sleep blurred vision. He catches the door just closing and on the table down from the bed, a large tray with covered food, two glasses, and a pitcher filled with some kind of drink. Tifa then. Zack’s stomach growls loudly, he better eat before he wakes Cloud. Takes him a bit, Cloud has rearranged himself in sleep to be an octopus. How he’s not sure, apparently he can move better in his sleep then he can awake. It’s a little cute.

Tifa’s left a note tucked under the pitcher, a small wet ring on the bottom right corner.

_-Hey, I didn’t want to wake you guys. You looked so cute and cozy. I heard SOLDIERS need crazy calories so I brought a lot. Some fresh butter rolls and tomato beef stew with veggies. Ginger lemonade in the pitcher, it helps with the mako taste. Jessie says sorry for getting aggressive, she told me to leave you something sweet._

_\- Tifa._

There’s a small delicate wooden box, he lifts the lid. Six delicate chocolate truffles sit pretty in paper nests. He snorts at himself, he’s blushing he knows it. Pretty girls always get him.

Once he lifts the covers to the biggest bowl he’s ever seen, the smell starts making his mouth water. He grabs two rolls and a bowl, spoon in his mouth, and sits up against the headboard. Cloud immediately shifts around and curls up against his leg, face nearly smashed into his thigh. Zack laughs.

“You know I’m not gonna be able to hold back the teasing,” he tells him and shoves nearly the whole first butter roll in his mouth.

He can’t help it, it’s so good. He hasn’t had real, homemade food in so long. His moan is loud and long and if he thought anyone could hear him, he’d be just a little bit embarrassed. Shoving food as fast as he is down his stomach will probably make him sick later, but fucking damn. It is so good. He instantly likes Tifa ten times over for this. More so if she’s the one that made it. When he’s done, he pours a glass of lemonade and pops one of the truffles in his mouth. It’s filled with raspberry, just on the right side of too sweet.

Tifa’s right about the mako, a year after, and he still gets random bursts of it on his tongue. Sometimes just a faint mint flavor, other times the gagging stench of sharp ozone and minty chemical alterations. Cloud must be drowning in it all the time. Maybe that’s why he’s always breathing like his lungs are about to pop.

The lemonade does chase it away. Replacing it with the soft spice of ginger. It’s not till after he’s re-covered the food, finished his glass, and turns on the hot water for a shower does he notice that it doesn’t come back.

Huh.

He undresses quickly and closes the door behind him. The shower room is tiny as well, his head reaches over the showerhead, but that’s okay, he’s not going to complain about a hot shower. There’s a bar of soap that smells of sandalwood and two small bottles of shampoo and conditioner. The room steams up fast with the hot water, clearing his sinus and refreshing his lungs. He scrubs for a long while, makes sure all the blood and dust is gone, and even longer after that.

It's only after he’s turned the water off that he realizes he doesn’t have a towel. He peeks his head out the door, Cloud’s still out. And hanging in-between the small wall space of the two doors are three clean towels, one hand, two body.

“Damn, girl thinks of everything.”

Literally, everything, seeing as he checks the medicine cabinet for toothpaste and floss. A little sticky note is on the mirror.

_-Thought about this just before I brought the food. You guys probably wanna get real clean. Let me know if you need anything else._

_-T_

Yet again, he also neglected to see the two piles of new folded clothes on the chair by the table. Guess food really was the only thing on his mind. She did a good job. Dark pants almost the same shade as his uniform ones, a little less baggy, but all the useful pockets and belt loops are there. A deep navy sleeveless turtleneck, with a quarter zip for hotter days. Pretty close to the SOLDIER uniform. Right size and everything. An extra t-shirt and dark denim are left over on the chair for him. Cloud’s pile looks pretty similar, not as dark in colors though, more muted.

He pulls on the uniform look like. He’s not a huge fan of denim.

Now to sit in his thoughts and stare endlessly at Cloud. Just like every other normal day on the run.

“Mmmph.” Or you know, time to feed Cloud, same dif. Cloud’s face scrunches up and he rolls over to the edge of the bed-

“Oh god, don’t fall.” – and stops with his arm hanging down the side. He doesn’t move for a few long breathes and then with another groan he is sitting up and blinking away sleep sand from his eyes.

“W-where? Zack? Where am I?”

“Oh my god, look at you!” Zack can’t help it, he’s proud okay, a full sentence and he did a smooth body movement, “speaking and moving.”

Cloud lowers his eyes and lets out a tiny “hmmph.” Probably in irritation, but Zack likes to think he’s at least embarrassing him a smidgen.

Zack laughs, “want some food Blondie?”

A short gasp and wide blue eyes is his answer. Pulling a small amount of mana from his veins, Zack reheats the stew with his fire materia. He’s still got just enough left for one heal.

“Here, this first,” he hands Cloud a glass of the ginger lemonade, watchful that he can actually hold it himself. There’s a little shaking, but he’s steady and his grip is strong. Cloud makes a small surprised sound at the taste, a far off look glazes over in his eyes before he takes another sip.

“Tifa’s right, it really does help the mako taste huh?”

Cloud sputters out the last sip, “Tifa?”

“Oh-” Zack winces, “-sorry. Yeah…shit. Ran into your friend Tifa, she’s gonna help us out for a while.”

Cloud’s expression falls into his default nothing face. Just his eyes giving away the stress wracking his brain. He stays silent, finishing the lemonade.

“Here, eat as much as you can.” Zack hands him the bowl and spoon, a roll stuffed at the top. He wants to push Cloud into talking but worries that it’ll be too much too soon.

Zack’s only vaguely aware of what Hojo did to them, Cloud less so. He’s guessing the mako, obviously, and the Jenova cells. But there were long, long stretches where Zack didn’t know if Cloud was even alive anymore. From the little time Cloud’s been out of his coma, it’s easy to see he’s not the same.

Only half the bowl gets finished, two small bites from the roll. It’s better than nothing, but Zack still frowns down at the dish as he puts it back on the table.

“It’s probably pretty late, but we can go see Tifa tomorrow.”

Another quiet stare.

“Think you can shower? There’s hot water.”

A small gasp and yes, his eyebrows even shoot up in interest, the most expression from Cloud yet. Zack laughs breathlessly.

He lets Cloud get up on his own. It’s hard watching. Zack has to fight every instinct to just keep dragging Cloud around for every little thing. He said he’d let Cloud struggle alone all he wanted once they were somewhere safe. He does reach out a little when Cloud nearly stumbles to the ground after putting all his weight on his legs.

The glare he gets alone from just the small start toward him.

A painfully long time goes by, but Cloud makes it into the shower room all by himself, throws his clothes back out into the room in a heap, and the water kicks on.

Zack feels very alone standing there listening to the water run.

He peeks out through the blinds of the one small window. It’s pitch black out, any light from the moon or stars covered by Midgar’s plate, and only a few lights are still lit in the slums. It must be very late.

He feels odd just standing and waiting for Cloud to finish, so he collapses on the bed instead, faces the wall. He’s not about to watch Cloud struggle to put clothes back on. Turns out he doesn’t even have to pretend not to hear him try. He’s out before he can even take another deep breath in.


	2. You Didn't Mean To Say I Love You.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Getting used to your comatose friend talking back is weird and exhausting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhh, in which Zack's problems, are all our problems. Are they not? Also you guys are awesome, your comments make me so happy! And they just inspire me more. So, thank you! I don't know if my uploads will always be this fast, but since so many of us are stuck at home, I'm guessing pretty fast. Who wants lunch when I can finish the chapter with all the smuttiness. lol 
> 
> Also, I wrote this whole thing pretty much to Billie Eilish's I Love You. Just in case you wanna set the mood.  
> In case anyone notices, my chapter titles are song lyrics from a song I pretty much repeat when I write each chapter.  
> Happy reading. :)

Zack wakes to the stillness of sunrise. It's getting colder, autumn right around the corner. He'll have to ask Tifa if there's heating. For now, he's got his own personal living blanket, Cloud is plastered at his back. He hadn’t even heard Cloud crawl back into the bed. The smell of sandalwood is strong and Zack fights the urge to rearrange them with Cloud protected in his arms.

He accepts this is a problem he’s developed. What to do about, he hasn't gone either way. He can't even wrap his head around that they made it to Midgar. They have help, friends even. Running just seemed so endless. Every town they made it too, the Turks were there. Every person he accepted help from. No, better not go down that thought.

One problem at a time. He'll take the sweeter one. To cuddle his comatose friend or to not. He’s just about to give in when a soft knock raps on the door. Cloud is easy to climb over, he curls down into himself some more, giving Zack space to move on the tiny bed.

Poking his head out the door, Tifa’s warm smile greets him, “good morning.”

“Hey, morning.”

“Clothes fit good, mm? How’s Cloud?” she tries to peek past Zack. It feels invasive, but he could be projecting his need to keep Cloud safe. Tifa's shown no harm to them. Why start now. The sun rising behind Tifa's dark hair is bright, but gives no warmth like early summer. He wants to go curl back up with Cloud.

“Asleep. Pretty sure he cried about the shower though.”

“Oh, goo-wait, what?”

Zack’s laugh doesn’t really diminish her concern, “he’s doing fine. A little slow still. Maybe we’ll come by the bar later?”

“Yeah, okay,” she says, “you need anything else so far?”

There’s actually a lot they need, jobs being number one. Zack can’t just sit around watching Cloud sleep all day.

“A few jobs for one.” He says. The faster he can get some Gil the better. He can’t just rely on Tifa for everything.

“A few huh? Any kind? I might be able to find some small tasks for you.”

“I’d prefer mercenary work, but I guess anything to start is fine. I’m not real handy though.” He’s itching to use his buster sword, get out some worked up anxiety.

She laughs, airy and bright, a contrast to the power radiating off her toned body, “alright, no kitchen sinks then. Maybe I can put Cloud up to that.”

He snorts, somehow he doesn’t think Cloud would be any better. She offers him a giggle at the thought as well and heads to the staircase. He nods her off and watches her jog down the stairs.

He closes the door and pushes his forehead against it. The door is cold, helps the burning in his mind, lets him collect his thoughts. He's all thrown off. Just a rush of go go go and now. _..What?_ Three meals a day, get a dog. Ah....he loves dogs. Is that life even possible for him? Once a SOLDIER....

One day at a time then. Maybe if he can unlearn everything, bleach his brain. He never should have joined SOLDIER. Feels wrong to think it. The thought has lurked in the back of his mind since Angeal went missing. Just another thing burning up his sanity.

Cloud’s staring creepily at him when he turns around, mostly all in shadow, the glow from his mako eyes giving the tips of his hair a green tint. His lips are thinned out in a frown and he blinks real slow at Zack.

“Uh, morning, grumpy,” There’s that glare again, “you know, I don’t remember all these glares from before.”

He _almost_ misses it, Cloud’s quick to lower his eyes. A flash of hurt, “that Tifa?” he asks, perfectly clear.

“Yeah,” Zack tries to mend his mistake, “you sound good.”

Cloud just lowers his head even more. Great.

“Let’s try some stretches and then we’ll go see her, sound good?” maybe a different approach will work. Cloud has always been quiet, but not like this. Watching him struggle in his own mind is just as painful as with his body. He doesn't even know what to do to help distract, at the least. He's barely holding on himself.

Cloud does eventually look back up at him, but his face is neutral and eyes guarded. He nods. Stretches it is.

Like before, Zack lets Cloud get up on his own. Still slow, but he doesn’t buckle under his own weight this time. Then they just stare at each other. Cloud seems ready to oppose him no matter what he says.

Zack sighs, “come on, don’t be mad, Cloudy-sky.”

There a tiny blush across the high of his cheekbones. He's not as mad as he's acting. The air is lighter around them, so maybe that’s enough of an apology. Zack just moves to stand in front of Cloud, flipping the light on. It's not much brighter, but at least they won't just be two pairs of glowing eyes in the dark. He doesn't need to instruct Cloud, this is all basic cadet stuff. He juts his chin at Cloud to mirror him. Takes note of all the places Cloud babies. His right knee, Zack knew that one already, his right wrist as well. Lower back. Left ankle. Cloud is panting by the time they get to the harder ones, and Zack holds his hands out in case Cloud loses his balance. He doesn’t even get a glare for it. Must be a small strain on him then. He gets through them without help in the end. It's no letdown. Like Jessie had said. Most people die from mako poisoning, let alone pull out of a coma. Cloud's impressive, a fast healer. Faster than him? Maybe, once the excess mako leaves his system, there's no telling what SOLDIER enhancements he'll get. Zack still had some popping up years after being a second.

“Cool, good job. We’ll start slow yeah? You’ll get back into fighting shape in no time.”

“You think?”

Zack has no doubt. The protective instinct in him wants to just hide Cloud away, but he does truly believe Cloud is capable. He did before when Cloud was just a cadet, there’s no difference now. The muscle memory is there, it never really goes away. Zack had even started Cloud on basic SOLDIER fighting before their clusterfuck mission. With the mako pulsing in his veins now....Zack has no need to worry. Won't stop him though, maybe if he'd never befriended Cloud....maybe he'd be dead back in the mako tanks.

More like Sephiroth would have finished him off. Yeah, he's sure. Without Cloud, he'd be dead. He owes him. Besides, the little sparkle of content in his eyes after Zack praises him is enough to forget about what-ifs. Zack bets within a month Cloud will be able to keep up with him. He finishes his own last stretch and steps close to Cloud.

Cloud’s staggered breathing evens out quickly, better lung function already. Perks of SOLDIER mako already working for him. Those blue eyes of his are bright with it, glowing in the still dim room. It's another problem he's realizing. Focuses _way_ too much on Cloud's eyes. Zack can’t help it.

He takes Cloud’s chin in-between his thumb and forefinger, a gentle tug to look up at him. Cloud’s gaze doesn’t quite meet his, but he lets Zack pull his head up.

“The mako will help; you’ve got plenty of it now, it’ll be like you were a SOLDIER all along.”

Something strange flickers in Cloud’s eyes, but he doesn’t jerk out of Zack’s hand, rises his irises to look at him instead. Words die in Zack's throat and his lungs contract sharply, one hard beat in his chest. The mako in Cloud’s eyes reflects more blue than his own. It should be a heavy reminder, but the mako melts so well with his natural color, it’s just pretty and distracting. His heart beats too loudly again.

Oh

Oh fuck.

Zack’s careful not to drop his hand too fast, but he’s suddenly suffocating under Cloud’s…everything. Yeah, he's got a problem alright.

“Come on,” at least his voice is coming out normal, “let’s go see if we can get some more food.”

“Food sounds good.”

They pull on their boots and Zack puts on his weapon holster and grabs his buster sword, just in case. He leaves the SOLDIER shoulder guards. Their new clothes hardly distract from their very noticeable arrival yesterday. There are murmurs the moment they step off the last step. Even with the few people emerging early, stares follow them the whole way. At least Cloud is able to keep up, save for the heavy breathing. He only stumbles once, and it’s slight. Zack pretends not to see it. Slows his stride though. In turn, Cloud also pretends not to notice the slower pace.

When they get to the bar, he doesn’t follow him up the steps to Seventh Heaven, just stares up the stairs like he’s never seen any before. His brows bow up slightly, makes him look younger and lost. Man, he thought when Cloud wasn't comatose anymore, the heartstring-pulling would stop.

“Come on,” Zack calls down to him. The sign is flipped to close, but he’s sure it doesn’t apply to them. He waits till Cloud’s light footsteps are climbing the stairs before opening the door.

Tifa’s behind the bar, cleaning dishes, and swaying to music Zack didn’t notice yesterday. Jessie, Wedge, and Biggs are there as well, all huddled in the left corner closest to the bar. Zack gets an odd déjà vu from the train when they all stop talking and turn to look at him.

Or not him, he guesses, by the jolt forward Jessie does, her eyes lighting up in surprise. Even Tifa stops in her movements, hand shoved in a drying glass.

It’s just Cloud. Except okay, Zack has to admit, the light pouring in from around him gives a nice glow to his skin. His hair bright and the contrast of the shadow on his face makes his blue eyes glow a bit brighter. Again with the eyes.

Everyone's probably staring cause he was in a semi-coma yesterday and _not_ the way he looks all soft and warm.

Seriously, fuck. Why does attraction make him _so_ dumb?

“No way,” Jessie says from the corner and Tifa is all smiles coming around from the bar.

“Cloud!”

Then, something weird happens. He’s sure he’s the only one who notices. After all, Tifa hasn’t seen Cloud in years and the other three don’t know him at all. Cloud goes all ridge, and then stands a bit taller, his steps stronger and his eyes harden, just a bit. A small smirk, too cocky to be Cloud’s normal one and the look he shoots Zack as he glides toward Tifa.

It's alarmingly jarring and all too…Sephiroth. A buzzing, static in his head from it. For one second, one quick, tiny second, it’s silver hair he’s staring at, not the back of Cloud’s blonde spikes. _What._

“-doing alright. You look so much better.” He catches the end of Tifa’s words and he snaps back. Tifa’s hand slips from Cloud’s shoulder as he brushes his hair from his face. Smooth, no jitters, his face tight with confidence.

“Yeah, I guess Zack helped a bit.”

Tifa laughs, “okay cool guy,” Teases him while leaning into his space.

Surprisingly, Cloud laughs. It’s small and quiet, a bit bashful even. When he glances back at Zack, his shoulders fall with a soft exhale and a sweet private smile.

It eases Zack’s distress, but the strangeness lingers in his mind. Even as Cloud eases back into something familiar.

“You boys hungry?” Tifa asks, already waving them over to the bar.

“Starving” Cloud says, slipping onto a stool.

“No. Freakin. Way.” Jessie says again, jumping up and sticking her nose far too close to Cloud then Zack is comfortable with.

Apparently with Cloud too, he leans back with a little swagger, an annoyed glare on his face. Tifa sighs, setting down two plates full of food.

“Jessie, back, Cloud likes space-Zack, come on foods getting cold.”

Zack settles into the seat on Cloud’s right, letting Jessie stay in her spot. She's not backing away much from Cloud either, no matter how cold the glare is.

“This is crazy, you were basically a vegetable yesterday.” She says, leaning on her fist and puffing her checks at Cloud.

Cloud shrugs, “SOLDIER perks?” it’s not really a question and Zack bites his tongue. Cloud’s never been a lair, does he not remember he never made rank? They just talked about it not twenty minutes ago. He shoves a massive bite of potato hash into his mouth, irritated.

“Must fu-uckin’ be. That ShinRa really builds ‘em good huh.”

Tifa's clearly anxious about Jessie irritating Cloud, even breaks out Cloud's trademark move; eye-rolling, “Cloud, Zack-if you don’t remember-, this is Jessie, Biggs, and Wedge. They are…..regulars.”

“Ouch, Tifa. Just regulars, you hate the regulars.” Biggs pokes the air with his chopsticks at her.

“Mmmm,” she says, placing two orange drinks in front of their plates, “telling isn’t it.” She leans into Cloud like it's a secret. Sharing a joking smile with him. Again, Zack's surprised to see Cloud return it in kind. He's acting tough but quickly drops it when Tifa's full attention is on him.

Jessie laughs, covering up Wedge’s fake gasp of betrayal.

There’s an ease among the four of them, seems almost as if Cloud and Zack are intruding. But they get warm smiles and Jessie keeps talking with (more like at) Cloud as they eat their way through breakfast. She even manages to pull one of Cloud’s small pleased smiles for herself before they are done. Tifa’s a good host, takes their dishes as they clear and replaces it with more. She seems to notice Cloud’s tells of being full, as she gives Zack more without refilling Cloud’s. No one asks the wrong questions, seeming to know to stay away from the whole ‘what happened to you guys thing’. Wedge slips up only once, but Biggs is smooth at bouncing back the relaxed atmosphere.

The morning hours speed by, the two of them swept up in the chatter and Tifa’s friendly voice. If Zack didn’t know better, he’d say Cloud and Tifa didn’t have a gap of five years missing in their friendship. Cloud’s aloofness isn’t as strong as it normally is and he lets Tifa tease him as much as she wants. Even agrees to some of the comments with a low raspy huff of laughter. Zack’s a little jealous. Ridiculous, he knows. Cloud’s just as easy-going with him as he is right now, huffing out another laugh at Tifa’s twinkling eyes. The little twinge of pink across his nose spells out crush with a capital C.

He nudges him with his shoulder once Tifa disappears in the back, getting ready for the night crowd.

Cloud grunts at him in return.

“Blushing a lot there, Spikes.”

Oh, there we go, the full head duck. “It’s not like that, I don’t-not an-.” It's amazing, how fast he drops the cool guy act, makes it seem dorkier by the minute. It’s actually fucking adorable.

“Used to be then, huh?”

“…no…” Cloud mutters, totally a little shy lie. He jumps when Tifa slams a crate full of beers onto the counter in his direction. She eyes him like she knows what he's teasing Cloud about.

“Okay,” she says, eyes locked on Zack, “I found you a job, Mr. ex-SOLDIER.”

He perks up, “a merc job?”

“You bet, clearing out some monsters. They keep popping up in the junkyard and staying.”

“Sweet, I’ll go now. Who’s my money holder?”

Tifa pulls out a thick stack of Gil notes, “I got your pay right here. So you bring your pretty face right back to the bar. If you want more though, Wyler’s the one who’ll get more jobs for you. There’s no short supply of monsters around. They always keep coming back. He’s over by the weapons shop just northwest of the apartment.”

Cloud’s scooting back his stool before Tifa’s even finished speaking.

“Woah, bud, where are you going?" there is no way Zack is letting Cloud go monster hunting. Two weeks minimum before he’s up for that.

Cloud clearly doesn’t agree, he’s crossed his arms and taps his foot at him, “to help you.”

“You and what weapon.”

“You’re not going alo-”

“-yeah I am. You stay here-don’t look at me like that.”

It’s not the glare or even the annoyed shift in his hips. There’s a dark shadow of betrayal staring at him. That’s not fair. He's just teasing him, and then all of a sudden there's a real bite. Zack’s never wanted to punch Cloud before, but he’s pretty close right now. Man, they were having a good morning too.

“How bout,” Tifa steps in, leaning her upper body on the counter and tapping the edges at Cloud, “you help me around the bar while Zack is out. I’ll give you half of my tips. It’s Friday night, it’ll be a good chunk of money.” Her pretty please eyes are in excellent form.

Cloud’s not going to go for it, Zack can tell by the slide of his jaw, “Come on, just this time. You need a weapon, then you and I will be the best merc team in town.” Play the nice guy; it’s always worked for Zack in the past. Maybe a little bit of his ‘pretty please’ eyes too.

The small snickering from the three in the corner is not really helping, but Cloud deflates a bit.

“Ugh… fine.” With an eye roll, but Zack will take it. He sees the sass in Cloud’s shoulders as he sits back down, pointedly facing away from Zack.

That’s fine; he can pout all he needs. Zack’s not letting him get hurt because he wants to be the cool SOLDIER, not until he can back it up with some muscle and strength.

He slides a light hand over Cloud’s shoulder before leaving, a small squeeze too, “see you later.”

“Hmmm.”

It feels weird leaving without Cloud somewhere in his vicinity. He’ll have to get used to it someday, he can’t be around Cloud all the time. As much as he wants too. And he really wants too. Even with his suddenly dumb tough guy act. It sits weird in his stomach, annoying he didn’t notice sooner. The more he thinks on it, the more he can’t tell when he didn’t feel this way.

Plus…there’s Aerith.

Zack heaves a long sigh, it’s a good thing he’s going to kill some monsters.

He figures out where the junkyard is eventually, but it’s well past noon by then. There are so many dark spots and small spaces monsters can hide. It’s also a maze, barely open paths doubling back on each other, locked doors, fallen in roofs. He’ll be here far longer than he wants. Still, as he stumbles on the first group of fiery fiends, a certain type of relief that only comes with fighting overcomes him. His buster sword is a good weight in his hands, the handle smooth and fitted to his palms after long use. Settles an uneasiness he didn't realize was lingering in his shoulders.

His body needs movement, the sharp thrusts, and quick jumps. It’s not a long fight or a hard one, but once the little bastards hear him, more and more groups start coming out. So it goes on and on, a nice warm-up for the actual job lurking around somewhere. He slashes his way through near the whole junkyard when he stumbles on a massive wrath hound.

"Found you."

It’s faster than he is. Angeal always told him that was his weakness, he’s slow. Used to tease him that something about him had to be. His mind is heavy all of a sudden like it always becomes when a rouge sad thought pops up.

“Stupid,” a fucking fiend makes his eyes all misty and that pesky hollowness in his chest is in full force again.

At least he’s got an outlet this time. It screams at him, claws at him, and more than once nearly lands a takeout move. He taunts it longer than necessary, drains his energy on it. Drags on and on with spurts of anger and pain bursting through. Over and over, deep slices through muscle and veins that spew all over his sword. He hits bone a few times even. It’s a tough fiend. It’s the setting sun that calls the end of the fight, orange bright flare in the fiend’s eye. It’s more tired than he is; just takes a flick of his wrist, the rest of his mana used, and one last brutal killing blow of his buster sword. One that squirts chunks and blood all over him.

He leans over the buster’s handle. If the plate wasn’t in the way, he could stare up at the few stars starting to show.

Somewhere out there, he could look up and know Angeal‘s sending him strength. Maybe a wing, one day…

For now, he's stuck with the guilt of not being fast enough. If he had just noticed...instead of being all rose-cheeked and starry-eyed.

A hero...

How's he supposed to be that when he's near broken. He can't even fix his best friend. He fights the urge to scream as long and loud as he can. Instead, he gives in to the stinging behind his eyes. It's okay anyway, out here, alone, only the monsters can see his tears.

He stays hunched over his sword until the golden orange light is barely visible anymore and his stomach is demanding more food now that it knows where to get it.

The slums are loud with parties and end of work week celebrations. He gets a lot of nose curls and stink eyes. Must be covered in guts and blood, the buster sword is certainly leaving a small thin trail after him. Hopefully that Wyler guy is still out, he wanders around the back maze of Slum 7. He wants a cue of jobs set up before he heads back to the bar. If he has enough, he can sneak out before Cloud wakes up in the morning. He realizes he never asked Tifa for a description of Wyler once he reaches the weapons shop. He’s not above shouting a random guy's name though; lucky him, he’s spared the mildly self-imposed embarrassment. A man in this thirties maybe, with a gray cap and tufted vest points right at him,

“You, there!” he calls, “you my monster killer?”

“Sure am,” Zack stabs the buster into the ground and leans on it once he reaches Wyler, “Merc - Zack Fair,” he reaches a hand out, but pulls back, “ah, sorry. Went a little crazy in there. I’m covered in guts.”

It gets him a laugh, “are you ever. Heard you went in hacking around noon, took care of every beastly thing living in there for the past two months. Think you took a long way around to your money, Tifa forget to tell you she’s got it?”

“No, no,” Zack smiles brightly at him, “I wanted to see if you got any other jobs lined up. I’m here for the long haul, need to make some cash.”

“There’s no shortage of monsters. I’ve got a few other trouble spots you can take care of. I can ask around town, see if anyone else could use mercenary skills.”

“Awesome, I’ll take everything you get. Except fixing sinks.”

Wyler chuckles like he's in on the joke, “man, if everyone was as eager as you, I think the whole of the slums could be looking just as pretty as the upper plate.”

“Just like the fighting, is all.”

“That all, huh? Well, here’s the list, first one’s an early riser. Some fiend likes to come out near five in the morning down the path between here and Slum 6. It’s killed a few people already. After that, just small-time guys around the south junkyard.”

He takes them all, promises not to take till nightfall to get the next lineup, and settles his buster across his shoulders once again. He’s emotionally rung and needs a shower. But food first. He'll likely fall and crack his head in that tiny shower room without food.

Outside the Seventh Heaven is packed, people already falling over drunk, crowds all pushed together on the outside tables, all the way around the wrap deck. It almost looks like topside all lit up with pretty string lights. The crowds are glancing at him warily, probably hoping he doesn’t get to close. Makes him wanna fake lunge at them just for laughs.

Tifa must have seen him coming, she’s busting out the door the second his blood-soaked boot hits the first step, massive bucket in hand.

“Hold up, SOLDIER boy, you’re not coming in my bar like that.” And dunks the whole bucket over his head.

Shivers cascade all over his body and before he can even get a shout in at her, a familiar glow of materia sparkles over her knuckles and a strong whip of wind blows him dry. Sends whatever chunks of monsters were still on him flying.

Tifa eyes him up, hums thoughtfully, “alright, you're clean enough, come get some food. Far table in the back left, with the regulars." There's a chorus of incoherent shouting as she goes back in.

She doesn’t even hold the door open for him.

Is she wasn’t feeding him, maybe he’d go back out and get all bloody again just to spite her. He's freezing! He still chuckles, his hair probably looked hilarious all spiked out horizontal in the wind. Good show for the people out front at least.

If he thought the outside was busy, it’s near overflowing inside. The music is much louder than this morning and more upbeat. He catches snippets of conversations, overlapping and sloppy, loud. So many drunk people, how late is it? The sun had only just gone down. He thought so at least. Maybe he's skipping time.

No one minds him in here, he has to skirt around and be extra careful not to knock anyone with his sword. It's a little challenging with drunks suddenly falling in his path every now and then. Clearing the front crowds, he gets a good view of the rest of the bar, and he spots Cloud’s bright hair in seconds. No one around Midgar is the same shade of blonde that Cloud is. He’d go as far to say he looks a bit foreign.

Zack’s not really expecting him to be working though. But there he is in all his awkwardness and stiff body. The waiter apron wrapped around his waist is slug lower than most would wear and stuffed with an extra pen and note pad. He’s at the table in front of what Zack excepts as the usual spot for Jessie, Biggs, and Wedge. Who are, in fact still there, with a massive amount of plates full of freshly cooked food. Zack drools instantly. He’s not even embarrassed about it, fucking monster fight is a calorie sucker.

He pushes his way through the rest of the crowds. Cloud’s still ‘talking’ to the group of four at the front table, probably taking their order. He’s impressively keeping his glare level to a low, though the frequent blinking is a sign he’s irritated.

He watches as Jessie jumps up rather suddenly and launches herself at Cloud.

Utter horror rips through Zack and he all but shoves a particular group out of the way to stop her. Is she _insane_ , Cloud is not likely able to take anyone’s full weight at the moment, especially if he’s caught off guard, even if Jessie is as light as she looks.

There’s no crash, Cloud’s standing just fine. It’s odd. He didn’t even sway to the side to take the extra weight. Jessie’s got one arm wrapped around Cloud’s shoulders, the other tight on his closest biceps, her body pressed close. At a glance, it looks as if she’s leaning fully into him. Zack calms as he realizes-

-she’s not leaning at all. Cloud’s the one shifted against her. She’s holding him up. His right knee looks as if it's going to buckle any moment and Zack can see the tremors at the corner of his elbows, he’s trying to hide his body’s fatigue. Jessie’s smiling and talking fast, and not alarmed, she’s relaxed and the people at the table seem a little surprised at her sudden appearance, but seeing as they are listening happily and chatting, they can’t tell Cloud is fighting to stay upright.

Zack doesn’t care if his buster sword hits people anymore, he just pushes past the final stretch to the back table. Catching Jessie’s voice over the other chatter.

“-fia’s new brew. It’s totally a banger, right Cloud?”

Jessie squeezes Cloud’s far shoulder in encouragement.

“Uh…yeah... A banger.” He echoes, almost completely normal, if not a little deadpan.

If he wasn’t about to fall over, it’s a little charming, the awkward speech with his blank expression.

“Alright, two of those then too. That will be everything,” one of the girls at the table says.

Cloud nods and Jessie catches sight of Zack, she squeezes Cloud’s shoulder again,

“Look at that, your SOLDIER boy’s back, pretty eyes.” she smiles widely at him. Cloud turns sharply, the tremors fading slightly and Jessie must feel confident he won’t fall. She backs away with a terrible salute to Zack and a skip back to the table two feet from Cloud. Retakes her seat next to Biggs and smiles, bunching up her shoulders. She swings her legs and kicks Wedge in the shin.

Yeah, Zack likes her, she’s good. Gives him chocolate and now she’s looking after Cloud.

Cloud’s lip twitches ever so slightly as if he is about to give Zack a bright smile, but then his eyes get that dark look and he glares at Zack. Frowns and promptly spins on his heel and coolly walks over to the bar to give Tifa the order for the table.

Ouch, still mad at him then.

He goes to slide into the bench seat open next to Wedge instead.

“Woah,” Wedge quickly swallows his slug of beer, “Bro, how big was that monster?”

Must still be covered then, but Tifa’s not glaring at him so no messy trail he’s leaving. He tries to look guilty, but mainly he’s totally proud of all the ass he kicked today.

“Bigger than this side of the room,” he exaggerates just a tiny bit.

“Damn,” Biggs hands him an empty plate, “must be starving then. Take whatever, Tifa’s trying out new menu ideas on us. So dig in.”

He does, but not before he sets a serious look at Jessie.

“Jessie.”

“Yessum-mm…oh.” She's got noodles hanging from her mouth. Somehow it's not gross.

“Thanks,” he says, nodding at Cloud’s back at the bar, he’s leaning now, still talking with Tifa, “ you been looking out for him all day?”

Jessie practically melts, slurps in her noodles, and flutters her lashes at him.

“You bet your pretty face Mr. SOLDIER, we all have,” she nudges Biggs, who ducks his head and waves her off, “he’s a stubborn shit, huh?”

It forces a curt laugh from him, the way she insults Cloud with a fondness in her voice.

“How bad is he?”

Wedge shrugs next to him; Biggs gives him an easy-going smile, “just the last few hours. That last one that just happened was the worst. I think Tifa’s working him a bit much,”

A relief then. Just his body reacting to work it wasn’t ready for. He nods and then digs into the food. Biggs and Wedge continue on with their apparently betting list on what regulars were going to get the drunkest tonight. Jessie scribbles in a small notebook Zack hadn’t noticed, piping up with her bet against the regulars every so often, all the while working on some kind of schematics. Zack can't see what exactly from this angle.

Cloud very obviously doesn’t look at him or linger near their table. He goes back and forth a few times, taking plates and a few pitchers around the bar. By the time Zack is on this third helping and getting very dismayed looks from the trio (what, he is _fucking hungry_ ), Cloud is sitting on the last stool, apron scrunched up on the counter and watching Tifa make drinks.

It’s going to be that way then. Zack can deal; he’s irritated sure, but understanding too. He’d be pissed if Cloud just up and sidelined him. Even if it is for his own good. He shoves the rest of the helping in record speed (“Whoa bro, slow up. You’ll choke”) and is up and sliding onto the stool next to Cloud before he can finish chewing. Cloud tenses just a smudge. Zack doesn’t miss the slight head tilt away from him.

“You’re still in here, stinking up my bar huh?” Tifa addresses him, she looks at Cloud, however.

“Figured I’d give your customers something to talk about. Blood, guts, dead monster smell, good for business.”

Tifa laughs and drags her eyes to him, only after a judging, intense eye conversation with Cloud, who tilts his head even further from Zack.

“Here’s your pay, Wyler will have it from now on I think.” A nice thick stack of Gil notes lobs against his chest and falls with an impressive “thwack” onto the counter. He slips it into one of his many pockets. He’ll have to pay rent first thing and then some essentials, and clothes maybe. Food, more soap, that kinda thing. He won’t have enough for an extra weapon for Cloud yet. Oh well, too bad. He’s fine with that anyway.

“I’m heading back, shower the rest of these fiends off,” he tells Cloud, who glances at him from the corner of his eyes. He says nothing.

Zack doesn’t sigh, as much as he wants too. Instead, he brushes the back of his knuckles along Cloud’s bare arm before taking off, a single curt wave at the Jessie, Biggs, and Wedge.

Maybe a shower will help him shake off Cloud’s moody attitude.

***

Tifa watches Zack fight through all the groups a second time before settling herself in front of Cloud.

“Okay, what is with you?” she rocks forward to get Cloud’s attention.

“What.” Not a question, it’s impressive. The Cloud she knows could barely keep the emotion out of his voice, this Cloud, master at zero inflection, the deadpan king.

“I don’t remember you being this cagey before.”

“I’m not _cagey._ ” Cloud sasses back at her, tucking his head into his shoulders and sprouting the smallest angry pout. His rasp even clears away when his voice gets all high. Tifa has to purse her lips together to keep from laughing. It’s just such a…fifteen-year-old Cloud thing to do. Minus the voice dip. It was all high and clear back then.

“No-o, not at all,” Opps, she lets a few giggles slip through.

Cloud eyes her raised brows and crossed arms, daring him to disagree with her. To her surprise, he rolls his eyes in a slow arch, silently admitting; “yeah okay, fine.”

“Here’s your half,” she slides another quite large stack of notes to him, “now go be nice.”

“I’m being nice,” he mumbles under his breath.

“Nuh,” She can sass back too. Cloud’s not scary, he’s just shy and socially dumb, “I’m serious.”

“Yeah okay.”

“Zack’s just looking out for you.”

Cloud goes all quiet, as if he wasn’t already, and she knows that hunch of shoulders, guilt. Oh man, she didn’t think Cloud was lashing out because he feels _bad_.

She kinda thought he was just being a dick to hide his self-consciousness.

“Oh boy.” Okay, time to get real on him. Sure she’s just reconnected with him for one day, but she’s always felt comfortable with Cloud, despite his prickliness, “he’s just worried. Five years, you’re in a coma and then you think you can just do whatever the moment you wake up? Give him a break, Cloud. You should give yourself one too.”

“What?” she misses his expression, he ducks his head so fast, but she heard it his voice anyway, a slip-up. He sounds confused and a little scared, “...I'm going.” He says and leaves his apron for her.

“Come back for a shift tomorrow!” she calls after him, slightly worried she was too harsh.

***

Five years.

Five years.

_Five._

He’s…aware, that Zack dragged him all across the continent for a long period of time. But five…that can’t be right.

How old is he? Twenty-one, twenty-two?

Five years, where, in Nibelheim? He can barely remember what even happened. Something with the reactor went bad? All he remembers is fire and smoke and the stench of mako and Sephiroth shoving a sword through his chest. Even that’s a little hazy. Oddly, it’s a weird, creepy laughing that lingers long after he tries to shift through all the fog.

The clearest is Zack screaming for him, everything green and then strong arms dragging him from somewhere really cold.

Then it’s just a bunch of blank. Zack’s voice a lot, but no memories really, just things he’s said to Cloud. And the constant smell of minty mako. When he thinks too hard about it, all he gets is Zack’s face. Sometimes tired looking, a few worried, but usually smiling with that _look_ in his eyes. That look gives Cloud butterflies and it’s annoying.

Only because it’s a little terrifying…he likes that look.

He doesn’t deserve it. But he wants it, craves it even, at times.

It was the only thing that kept pulling him back from drowning in the dark green entrapment of his mind. The only thing now, that’s keeping him from curling in a corner and just giving in because he can’t _fucking_ remember anything.

He’s tired. He just slept for apparently five fucking years and he’s still fucking _tired._

Tired of being weak.

Tired of not knowing what to say.

Tired of being one step behind everyone.

Of being confused and lost.

Seriously, he’s lost, where the fuck is he? He just bolted out of the bar. It was suffocating him, the loud noise and all the people. Tifa helped…she’s…

She’s not someone he ever expected to see again, but she’s grounding. He remembers her, all his memories of her clear as day and it feels safe there. By default, he guesses, the bar makes him feel safe since it’s her space. And the other three, her friends. Jessie, Biggs, and Wedge. He doesn’t know them. But they are warm like Tifa and they don’t overstep with him.

Okay, Jessie does a lot but.

He doesn’t know why it doesn’t bother him, not really. Just like a mildly annoying fly.

Hmm. He probably shouldn’t repeat that out loud.

Cloud pinches the bridge of his nose; he’s going down a weird mind path. Just standing in the middle of the slums at night having a weird pep talk with himself. Not really working anyway.

He’s supposed to go back to the apartments.

Which is…up the hill? He kind of remembers that.

He’s angry. Even now, fully aware and for the most part functioning. So why, why is everything still hazy. He can barely remember what he did this morning. What did he eat? When did Zack leave for a job? He just remembers arguing with him.

Apparently, he’s the one being a dick though.

He’s tired.

Oh…good. He found the apartments. Should he go up? Zack can’t be happy with him, despite him trying to break through Cloud’s irritation. Cloud sighs. He really is a dick. Zack was ready to die for him, back on that cliff. Course he remembers _that_ traumatizing event.

And here, Cloud’s bitching at him for….

“Fuck….” He really is….

Fuck.

His head hurts and there’s static in his ears.

It’s quiet up on the second story. It’s one of the taller buildings in this area and all the sound gets drowned out. It’s almost nice…but then the plate filling out the sky ruins it.

He misses the stars and the moon.

He sighs again.

The second apartment, he thinks that’s right. His left-hand shakes (he wishes it would stop, he’s fine.) as he twists the doorknob. He hears it click and the door opens silently. Surprising there is no squeak, considering the state of the building.

Zack’s not there. Wait, yes he is. The water is running. Right, shower…from…from the fiend gore? The job he did today.

"Ugh…” his head throbs and the static gets louder. It’s hard to concentrate. He kicks off his boots.

Bed.

Get to the bed.

He’s there right?

Sometimes…sometimes his body still doesn’t do what he wants it too.

Why…it’s been so long, he’s been awake for….

At least a week, right? Maybe a month?

No……a day. No, no that’s, too short.

A day.

Why doesn’t his body just move?

He hates this.

Hates ShinRa.

Hates himself….

Okay, the bed. Get a grip. Get to the bed.

There, he’s there.

“Fu-uck.” His head nearly explodes into a massive headache; it’s splitting down the back of his neck. Everything is suddenly hyper clear and too much. The walls are crusty and peeling, the bed is haphazardly made like Zack forgot to make it this morning and then just now put it together. He breathes deep and nearly chokes.

It’s so minty, he’s gagging on it. Can’t breathe, no.

No more

No more mako

Please….

The static, it’s so loud, can’t think past it.

Can’t think, can’t breathe, can’t-

“Cloud.”

No, wait. He can breathe. It’s fine. He’s fine.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay. Cloud,”

Back to the dark green then.

***

Zack should have expected this. Maybe not the moment he got out of the shower. But….

He shouldn’t have taken that job today. Cloud clearly pushed himself too hard. Even now, calming down, his body is shivering so hard Zack can almost hear it.

Looks like he’s asleep though.

Zack sighs, sits with his back to Cloud’s curled up body. This is…way over his head.

He almost wishes Cloud was still comatose-

Fuck, no he doesn’t. That's dark and sick.

“Come on man,” he whispers to himself, digs his palms into his dry eyes.

First thing, sleep. He’ll wake early for that 5 am job, get it done, and come back before Cloud even wakes up. And then they are going to have a very long, uncomfortable talk. And then more monster killing.

That’ll work. Get out all his stress and everything will be fine.

Zack doesn’t bother pulling his clothes back on, just his boxer-briefs are good enough. Cloud’s a little heater anyway. He lays down, back to back with Cloud, and feeling like he’s betraying him. He lays there telling himself he doesn’t need to hold Cloud. Thinks it over and over until his eyes are heavy and no thoughts at all come to him.

Something wakes him. Feels like seconds later, but the little clock on the far wall says its nearly three in the morning. It’s a reoccurring theme in his new life in Midgar, come to Midgar where you can get interrupted every time you sleep. Fifty Gil it's Cloud. Who, by the way, also another re-occurrence, has shoved his way under his chin. Zack’s arms are full, his right one being used as a pillow and his left loosely over Cloud’s bony hip. Which doesn’t feel as bony as it did two weeks ago, even two days ago. Must be the mako working, Cloud barely eats. He’s gotta fix that too. 

It’s either endearing or sad that he can tell just be the light touch how much weight Cloud’s put on. He’s gonna go with endearing.

He’s not expecting the glowing stare of Cloud’s bright blue eyes staring up at him when he glances down. Or the tear tracks. He’s never seen Cloud cr-

Wait, tear tracks. Damn it.

“Are you….” Tha-at’s not cool, don’t point out to someone crying that they are crying. Way to go.

“….no….” Cloud shoves his face into Zack’s bare collarbone and now he can feel Clouds tears. So much better. He feels like a jerk. He also doesn’t know what to do now. His instinct, pull Cloud closer. But that was easier when he was in a coma. Cloud’s fully aware now and…Zack is not sure where he stands. Even though Cloud’s the little octopus out the two of them.

“-m…sorry…” Cloud decides himself, pulling away and sitting up; knees pulled and chin resting on his kneecaps.

Zack just lies in the cooling air around him. He misses Cloud’s warmth. _Fucking_ , he is pathetic.

“It’s okay…”

Cloud’s furrowed brows and narrowed eyes say all the sarcasm without saying anything, _really._

“Yeah really,” Zack sits up. It’s early; he might as well just stay up till first time slot, “I’m... bad at this. Jokes all day, you know me. If I piss you off, you just gotta tell me okay.”

“Hey…Zack,” Cloud mumbles in his knees, “you’re pissing me off.” The little flash of blue Zack sees has a sparkle of teasing though.

“Shut up,” Zack shoves Cloud’s shoulder gently and he gets a huff of laughter. It makes him feel better, “I meant, tell me why. I’m bad at guessing and if I’m not, I dunno, I don’t get mad that often. Things just…are I guess.” This is not where he wanted to go; he pushes his fly always out of his face in irritation.

“Ugh, I just mean…you can talk to me you know.” He reaches out and pulls Cloud from his knees, “I know you’re not a talker, but we’ve been going through hell together, Spikes. Anything you have to tell me isn’t going to scare me away.”

The early hours, are weird. Maybe it’s the blanket of silence or the stillness of life that makes everyone feel like they can speak their secrets safely into the air. Whatever it is, it’s thick and pushing into Zack’s lungs. He thinks it’s like that for Cloud too.

“I…I can’t remember.”

“Remember what?”

“I don’t know,” the small rise in Cloud’s voice, it’s practically an outburst for him, “anything…everything. I can’t remember.”

“Anything?” that’s a whole lot of nothing to have in his head.

There’s a slow lazy way Cloud’s chest breathes in when he starts withdrawing. Zack stares at his sternum grow and compress for a while.

“Hey, when something's confusing, why don’t you just tell me with those pretty baby blues of yours.” He reaches out slow, brushes Cloud’s cheekbone so faintly, could be a brush of his hair, “We’re good at that. I talk _at_ you, you tell me all the people you wanna kill with your eyes.” He weighs his hands back and forth with invisible weights.

Cloud’s shoulders start shaking again. But he’s… laughing? Zack’s not sure why that was funny, but who cares. Cloud’s laugh rolls into his chest, short and deep and breathless. He sounds younger, as if he pulled in the little joy he knew all at once. The rasp in his low octaves disappears into clear pleasant high tones the longer he laughs.

It’s kick-starting that pesky hollow feeling in Zack.

He wasn’t ready for the smile at all. That fucking smile kills him with tiny pin needles all in his lungs. Wide and full, crinkles in the corner of his eyes and rounded out brows. Cloud flashes him all his pearly teeth, gets Zack hearing ‘country boys’ and ‘backwater towns’ in his head.

This early in the morning, the stillness makes him want to trace Cloud’s smile with his fingers, back him against the wall and press down against him.

Cloud falls back against the wall anyway, pulling his knees up on the bed and giving Zack the sweetest lazy after smile of a good long laugh.

Fuck if he doesn’t kiss Cloud right this second.

He doesn’t. Feels himself gnaw on his lower lip like his body might do it without his brain.

“Okay,” Cloud says.

Zack’s so high on Cloud endorphins it takes him a moment to blink away the foggy heat. Seems he’s stared too long into Cloud’s eyes. He gets shy, lowers his lashes a bit, and looks down and away at the bed. Zack used to think his brain would explode from how cute Aerith could be. Seems there are two people in this city that can do that to him. None of this is helping the kissing thing.

“I-I gotta job I gotta go job do.” Good words, real impressive. He wants to die, he's gonna go back to that cliff and just _launch_ himself off it.

Eye contact seems to be Cloud’s preferred way of speaking, why should that change now that Zack basically begged him to talk to him. He’s hit with the full glare of annoyance.

“No-o, Cloud, no. we just did this fight.”

He tilts his head slightly to the left, hair smashing against the wall.

“So.”

“So-o,” Jessie's right again, Cloud's a stubborn little shit, “so. I go do these jobs for a while. You let your body catch up to your brain. It will, I swear. And in the meantime…in the meantime, we train. Okay. Two weeks, let’s say two weeks. Got all that mako now.”

He doesn’t really understand how Cloud is so good at keeping his expression so limited; his eyes are a raging roller-coaster of emotion at all times.

“Fine.” He moves to curl back up on the bed, but freezes, changes his mind and sits up to meet Zack’s eyes, “I don’t like you going without backup.”

Zack wants to scream. It’s so fucking sweet and cute and damn if he’s not lucky that Cloud is loyal and stubborn. For _him_.

He’s gotta go. Job do, (god, fucking dumbest person on the planet) He has to physically leave before he gives in. His willpower; he has no idea where it went.

Angeal is laughing at him, he just knows it. Probably Aerith too, and she’s just two sectors over. Early hours are the worst.

“Sleep, I’ll be back later.” He manages a smooth stand and pulls on his clothes, full armor this time, and slips the buster over his back.

He peeks back before closing the front door, Cloud is curled down, octopus-ing onto one of the pillows.

The air smells clean and light, cool in his lungs. Settles his nerves from fighting with Cloud. Not the ones that want him to kiss Cloud's face off. Those he’ll have to slash away at on the battlefield.

“Let’s go make some money.” He tells himself.

He’s going to get Cloud the best fucking buster sword (next to his) that he can find. Maybe that’ll give him another three in the morning smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry, poor Cloud will get his head on straight soon. But, will he keep it? That's the evil part.  
> Coming up, you guessed it, the beginning is the end is the beginning.(That's a good song) Just kidding, it's the beginning of the gameeeeeee.  
> Thanks so much, let me know what your fav part was so far. :)
> 
> Keep riding that Clack train! I will be, for a long long time. These boys, they hurt my soul.


	3. Sometimes We Breakdown So Beautiful

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SOLDIER's heal quickly and things start spiraling. Also, Daddy Barret is home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys, are way way sweet. All your comments make me smile so much, I re-read them way too much. 
> 
> There's lots of talking in this chapter, and don't worry, the cuddles, the kissing, the clack, it's coming babies.
> 
> Have fun, Who's ready to blow up a reactor? :)

“Cloud…”

A roaring louder than the burning flames of fire.

Dark, it’s so dark and cold. There should be stars up here.

Just that roaring getting louder.

“Cloud.”

Seems…familiar. He’s been here before?

There, the moon. But the stars…where?

Smells like ozone and smoke. Burning mako? Something…rotten, smells like rotting flesh and ozone.

_“Je-”_

“Cloud!”

The moon is getting closer. Odd behavior for the moon, it’s supposed to move around not toward.

What is that roaring?

_“-no-”_

It’s cold, his body can’t move again. Again, back here again. So tired of all the mako. It’s too green, hasn’t he done this before?

“CLOUD!”

_“-va.”_

Suddenly too bright-just a glow. Again? He has to start over again?

“I’m sorry…this is the last time. I promise.”

He’s failed every time.

“We’ve almost got it, just one more time…”

One

More

Time

***

Cloud spasms awake, a voice he doesn’t know yet fading in his ear.

Smells like flowers?

“ugh.” It’s too early for this. He shifts, looking for some heat to warm him. Empty, where?

“Zack?” no answer, Zack’s not there.

Cloud lies still, listening to the neighbors below him scuffle around. He should probably get up. There’s something he’s supposed to be doing? Not training, Zack has an early job today, training is later. Oh shit, Tifa. Cloud springs up, eyeing the tiny clock. Almost eight. He’s got fifteen minutes to get to the bar. She asked him to help out again today. Cloud groans and rubs his eyes. He’s getting tired of helping in the bar. He wants to go do merc stuff with Zack.

He’s better…getting better.

He’s careful as he dresses, his whole body is sore. As hover-hen as Zack still is around him, he’s been grilling him hard in their daily training sessions. One week, it’s been one week since they started and Cloud can already out move Zack half the time. It feels good; he feels good, feels lighter.

Except…yeah, there’s nausea.

Cloud lurches, _really nauseous_ , kicks the toilet door open and hurls into the toilet. Not as much as yesterday, or the day before. It's still green. Mako, Zack said he’s throwing up excess mako. Started the first day of their training. Just thirty minutes of routine warm-up and Cloud was throwing up mako for hours after. He’ll take once a morning over that any time. He brushes his teeth with the charcoal toothpaste Zack bought him. Using the spearmint ones made him sick and shaky, too similar to mako taste.

It’s still a small shock seeing himself in the mirror. He looks so normal so quickly, four days ago his cheekbones jutted just shy of painful looking. He’s small, but he’s never been Zack’s buffed out form. It's a satisfying ego boost when he gets astonished gasps after he’s tossed Zack across the room in their sessions. It’s the mako, sure, but hearing about SOLDIER’s enhancements is different than experiencing them. It's a small improvement. He wishes his mind would start catching up.

Shoving his boots on, laces all tangled, he grabs the apron Tifa gave him from the table, scribbles a small note to Zack. He better hurry up, he was late yesterday. Marle waves at him as he rushes down the stairs, “tie your shoes young man!” and a few cats that always linger around the apartments hiss at him as he walks by. It’s chilly out, the SOLDIER uniform isn’t exactly warm but the bar gets blistering hot in just a few hours. It’s just a short walk anyway.

He's climbing the steps at eight exactly.

Tifa still cocks her hips at him and teases him about his messy hair, “almost late.” She says.

“No, I’m not.”

“Mmmhm,” she pats his cheek as he collapses onto a stool, laying his side against the bar, “you still got sleepy-sand in the corner of your eyes.”

Whatever, he’s not late. There’s no one in the bar, usually when Cloud shows up, Biggs and Wedge are there already. Jessie usually skips in around lunchtime. Zack thinks it’s weird they are always just there, he's been mentioning it more and more all week. Cloud thinks he's poking around for info while on jobs and whenever Zack asks Tifa, Cloud doesn’t miss the way her eyes always look just past his ear.

“Hey, can you help me bring the beers up from the basement; Biggs and Wedge are coming in later today.”

He really doesn’t want too. He groans at her, barely managing to push himself up from the counter.

“Oh stop it, don’t be lazy.”

He’s still groan-complaining as she makes room. She pats the counter in front of him after she finishes moving the last empty crate over.

“You are just a ray of sunshine this morning.” Her eyes sparkle at him with a slightly intimidating look that says ‘shut the fuck up Cloud.’ But in a nice way. Somehow.

He barely manages to stop his eye roll, huffs out a sigh, and makes a show of dragging his body off of the stool. It gets him a breathy laugh that’s shy of fed-up. He leans down to lace his boots up before following her into the back and down the stairs. It’s a small musty room, filled to the brim with food supplies and beer for the bar. Tifa shoves a crate into his arms before he even stops moving.

"ah-”

“It’s not heavy. You can’t use that any more Mr. Super-healer. I see those toned up arms.” She stacks another crate on top and taps the side. They take four trips to bring in all the beer. More than usual then.

“Why so much?” Cloud asks, not even a hint of his lungs struggling anymore.

"Its Saturday and nice out. There’s always a big surge the last few nice days before the cold comes.”

Great. That means overcrowding and too many people getting in his space. He frowns, ducks his head down so Tifa won’t see the aggravation in his eyes. She knows he’s getting antsy, that he rather be out with Zack. He should try a bit harder. He feels an awkwardness fall over him, he hates it. Feels like he’s ten again and all the other kids are staring at him like he’s a fiend. It pulls him in his head so much he doesn’t even hear the heavy footsteps coming in the doorway.

“Hey, Blondie,” A second of warmth pressing against his back is his only warning, then Zack’s hefty weight rests over his shoulders; he feels a strong chin rest on top of his head.

Cloud gently elbows Zack in the stomach. An exaggerated “oof” blows across his hair, but Zack doesn't move. Cloud gets butterflies. He frowns. Zack’s forearms are damp against his bare shoulders, must have gone back to the apartment for a shower. He can feel heat bloom on his cheeks. Tifa’s giving him a sly, knowing smile, cracking open a beer from the fridge. She hands it out to Zack, but she’s trying to catch Cloud’s eyes.

Nope, just going to avoid that.

Zack leans on him even more, pushing him forward against the bar counter, to grab the beer. Cloud can feel the grin on his face.

“Mind if I steal him from you for an hour or two?” Zack’s voice is warm and slightly muted so close to his ears.

The heat’s not leaving his face. It’s embarrassing. He hates being teased and Tifa’s got that look on her face. He curls down, shoulders hunching forward, feels Zack’s body curl down with him. That’s also not helping. Now he just feels enveloped. He forgets sometimes. How tall Zack is. He’s so friendly and open; his size seems smaller than it is. The cold beer passes his eyes and then he feels it rest on his head. Any time Zack, anytime to stop using him as a table would be _real_ good.

“Al-right, I guess. Just don’t tire him out too much, it’s Saturday. You want those tips; you gotta stay the whole shift this time.” She then shoos both of them away. Zack leaves the beer, half-full on the counter, and grabs Cloud's bicep as he walks toward the pinball machine.

It had been weird, training outside in front of the bar. Too many people watching if they didn’t get up early enough. Zack’s odd job offers were random and often late at night or too early in the morning, so it was a wild guess when they had time for their sessions. Tifa had all put shoved them down into her secret 'gym' on the second day. Said it was too painful to watch Cloud get embarrassed over and over. It wasn’t just a ‘gym’. It was as big as the bar above, one large empty room with low lights. Tifa’s boxing equipment in the far corner, weights against the wall. There was a rack of guns and bullets on the opposite wall, which she pointedly never mentions and pretends to not hear Cloud or Zack if they ask her.

It’s what started Zack’s mini obsession about the trio and the weird calls Tifa would get. He’s been snooping so much, Biggs and Wedge clam up every time Zack comes around, tense until it’s clear Zack’s not going to interrogate them. Cloud could care less; he doesn’t want to know secrets, the last time that happened…well. A shit ton of murder and he lost five years of his memories. He’s just happy to get out of the public eye while Zack kicks his ass. The normal table and chairs in the middle of the room are pushed up against a wall, and the mat Tifa uses is already spread across half the floor. There are glass bottles full of water sitting pretty on the floor for them.

“Right,” Zack seems extra bright today, it’s annoying. Those butterflies show up again, “I think the fun stuff starts today.”

The _fun_ stuff means Cloud gets to use the buster sword. He’s been itching to try it the last few sessions. Excitement bubbles in his chest and Cloud can’t stop his eyes from widening, a small smile on his lips. Zack laughs with his whole body. Not obnoxiously, but it travels through his chest, relaxes his broad shoulders. His eyes get a bit more crystal blue.

Annoyingly, feels like he’s being blinded by the sun.

…it’s nice.

Zack grips the handle with such ease and swings it around a bit, loosening himself up. Cloud’s pretty sure he warmed up out on that merc job, so really he’s just showing off.

“Alright, come here.”

Cloud goes. Zack’s fist slides down the handle to hit the base. He offers the top to Cloud, a soft smile on his face.

Butterflies. The. Actual. Worst.

It’s heavy, not as much as Cloud thought. A fuzzy memory of clinging to Zack’s back and reaching for the sword with a stiff, shaky arm fills his head. It had been so heavy. But so had his own body. The memory makes his brows twitch in a frown, at least he can remember it. They come back slow. If only he could remember the rest of the last five years. Whatever, that’s not what they are working on right now.

Today, he gets to use the buster sword.

“Cloud,” Zack had disappeared from his view, “ready?”

He’s holding a full body shield on his left forearm, a tender look on his face. It makes Cloud feel lost; he drags his gaze down and away. He doesn’t know what to do with that look. It does weird things to the butterflies, makes them…more.

“Hey…if you’re not sure, just tell me. We can do the normal.”

No. he’s ready. He’s been ready.

“Ready.” Cloud echoes a little too late.

Zack nods and slides his right leg back, easing into a defensive stance. Eyes suddenly sharp and burning. Zack’s got blue eyes like him…but they always seem to be white-hot, fire-like.

It’s awkward at first. His movements slow. The sword is nearly the length of him and it’s wide. Zack is encouraging, telling him how to shift his weight, where to hold the handle. He misses Zack completely the first few swings, nervous about hurting him. They usually just train with their bodies. Zack stands firm and doesn't get irritated, just waits for Cloud to gain some confidence.

It does get easier. Soon they have a flow going, circling, steps back and forth, misses, hits. It's easier.

An hour in there’s a weird static in his ears and then…

Feels like the sword is a part of him. Like it’s his. The static gets louder. Cloud’s afraid a headache is coming on. It’s silent after that thought and no blossoming pain. Just his breathing and Zack’s breathless barks of laughter every time Cloud manages to catch him off guard.

Cloud can feel it in his veins, the instant relief every time he swings the sword. It calms his nerves and his mind. Odd. That’s never happened before. Cloud can fight, but it's never brought him relief. Not like Zack. They go the full two hours; Cloud knows his shoulders will be sore, but the confidence boost he gets feels good. Zack’s smile is near ear-splitting by the end. He's wrapped up in a tight hug and squeezed hard,

“Damn,” Zack’s voice rumbles through his chest and vibrates Cloud’s ear, pressed up against him, “you’re really something Cloud Strife.”

Ugh. Embarrassing. He pushes his face into Zack’s shoulder. Zack laughs again and squeezes him extra hard one last time.

When they go back up, Tifa’s just turning around the open sign and unlocking the doors for lunch opening. Jessie and Wedge are at the usual table; both of them perk up as they walk over. Cloud grabs his apron, ties it low on his waist. He tries to look like he doesn’t work here. He still gets nervous in crowds even though his knee hasn't buckled since the first two days. Plus, talking to strangers is exhausting.

Tifa tells him trying to do that doesn't work; it’s his face. “Too pretty to hide” or something. That’s embarrassing too. He’s not pretty.

He’s not anything.

Static. The static's back.

_Damnit._

“Oh, Zack,” Jessie is already cooing at them, “I found something you’re going to lo-ve.” Sing-songs and whipping her ponytail.

Zack smirks and slides down next to her, “you said that Monday and it was not true, those were the worst spicy noodles ever. ”

“No, no,” Wedge says, digging into his waist pouch, “this is right up your ally.”

A materia gleams in Wedge’s hand. It’s an odd color, but Zack seems to know what it is and lights up like the sun.

“Where did you find that? Man, I lost mine years ago.”

“What is it?” Cloud asks, he expects the teasing answer, but Zack’s gone all still and holds the materia in his palm like it’s a baby bird.

“It’s a shield materia. Ange-mmm.” Zack falls silent. He doesn’t frown, but there’s a sadness that shines in his eyes.

Guilt and something he’s not familiar with thud hard in Cloud’s chest.

He also gets static in his head. It’s painful this time, but short, not even enough time to wince. Immediately after a massive wave of sadness freezes his whole body and makes him tremor. Nausea after that. It’s stronger than this morning. Cloud lurches violently, he hears Zack get up so fast the table scratches the floor.

Cloud rushes for the employee restroom behind the bar, vaulting over the counter, and hurls up so much mako his throat is burning afterward. He doesn’t get it, how is there this much mako in him still?

Zack’s large hands are on his back, curling around his side.

“Shit! I’m sorry Cloudy-sky. I think I worked you too hard.”

Cloud shakes his head, which was a mistake. More mako rips from his stomach. Smaller amount this time at least. Zack is stroking the base of his neck with his thumb, little circles, warm and calming.

“Geez,” he can hear Jessie near the door, far off, “how did he even vault over the bar feeling that?”

“Yeah, I would’ve just blown chucks on the spot.” Sounds like Wedge is digging for something in his pouch, “want a mint?” Wedge calls.

Ugh.

No.

_Really does not._

Cloud retches again, just thinking about it. Zack’s gone for a moment, he hears him talking, Jessie and Wedge’s mumbles and then his warm hands are back.

“Easy….” Zack pulls him away from the toilet, “here,” hands him a soaked warm towel.

Cloud wipes his face and spits a few more times. No good, the mint won’t go away. The nausea is passed, finally. He leans against Zack for a moment longer.

Luckily, there are no customers inside the bar. Tifa’s right about the weather, it’s a warm afternoon despite the chill in the morning and the young crowd likes the tables out front under all the string lights. Still, Cloud takes note of Tifa hovering by the door and making sure she sits people just coming in at the tables outside.

Jessie and Wedge are back at their spot. Biggs has joined them and all three of them try very hard not to turn and look at Cloud. He spots it in the tension of their necks.

He’s fine. A little shaky, and he still tastes fake mint. He’s fine.

“Bro-” Wedge speaks up the moment Cloud gets to the table, “sorry, I didn’t think mint would make anybody blow chunks like th-”

“-Wedge-” Biggs kicks Wedge in the shin under the table.

“- _ow,_ sorry, bro.”

“Don’t call me bro,” Cloud says.

“ _Bro_ ”

“Wedge!”

It’s kind of funny. At least he’s not the one all flustered this time, “I’ll ‘blow chunks’ if you call me bro one more time.” Cloud threatens.

Wedge looks absolutely horrified. Jessie is laughing so hard she’s pressed up against a chuckling Biggs. A warm feeling trickles in his veins. Cloud lets a small laugh escape him. It earns him wide eyes from Jessie, but Wedge looks less worried.

“Why mint,” Biggs asks, he’s rifling through his own waist bag.

Cloud’s never realized how many pockets everyone he knows has. Why he focuses on that, he has no idea.

“The mako,” Zack says, watching Cloud closely, but goes back to his seat, “tastes like mint.”

“Aw, really,” Jessie wrinkles her nose, “that’s a bummer.”

“Wait…that was mako you threw up.”

Why are they still talking about this? Cloud doesn’t answer Wedge, he eyes the doorway instead. Tifa’s back in and letting people take the front tables by the jukebox.

“Cloud.”

“Hmmph.”

Biggs has a gentle hand on his arm, the other two are bickering and Zack is looking a little too hard at the food counter. Cloud thinks there’s a tiny shine of drool on the corner of his mouth. Good to know watching someone retch for a good ten minutes doesn't weaken Zack's appetite.

“Here,” Biggs hands Cloud a hand-sized clear pouch, small amber candies inside, “it’s ginger. Tifa says ginger is good for getting rid of the taste.”

“Ah.” Cloud doesn’t know what to say. Probably thank you. It’s just surprising when others think about him…it even catches him off guard when Zack does it.

Which is all the time.

Biggs just pats his arm and then launches into teasing Jessie about something the other day. Cloud doesn’t catch it; he’s lost in his head and can’t shake the embarrassingly touched feeling. The ginger gets him through most of the day and into the evening. Tifa’s right. It’s slammed and Cloud’s shoulders are aching from the sword training. He wants to go back to the apartment, but Zack’s been here all day, which means no other jobs lined up. They need the money.

Nightfall brings in another massive wave of people, even the bar counter is crammed full. Tifa hasn’t been able to step away from making drinks for hours and Cloud can feel sweat pooling in his lower back. He has to squeeze by groups, holding plates well over his head. It’s mostly pizza that everyone is eating, so it’s not too hard to serve. Easy to move around and stack plates.

At least he gets to watch Zack chat with Jessie, Biggs, and Wedge. He looks like he belongs there. Knows what to say and listens well. Laughs brightly and long, his body rocking back and pushing his dark hair out of his eyes. It’s nice to see him without worry etched onto his brows.

Ugh, he can’t believe it. He gave himself butterflies.

Cloud sighs deeply and slides off to the far table that’s waving him down. Better avoid looking at Zack completely.

Twilight hours hit him with a ton of bricks. It’s two in the morning and Seventh Heaven is finally starting to clear out. Tifa rings the horn for last call and most of the crowd is outside at the tables still.

He slips down next to Zack, so tired he doesn’t care that he crashes into him and jostles Wedge next to them. Zack’s laugh is soft and warm; he leans back on Cloud, sliding his arm onto the table next to his. Cloud kinda wants to grab his hand. Feel’s his fingers twitch. Everything’s fuzzy. Not the static kind. The early morning kind, party too long kind. He feels like before. Before Nibelheim. When he was in the higher ranks as a cadet. When he and Zack would go to dinner at the noodle place down from the militia housing and stay out late. Cloud would have to sneak back into the barracks.

What the fuck, he feels his eyes sting. Pushing into Zack more helps them stop.

“Okay,” Zack sounds so far off, “I think he’s done.”

There’s jostling, Zack pulls him up and unties his apron, slings it over his shoulder.

“Night,” Jessie tells them. Her eyes are all soft and honey-colored. Cloud’s never noticed before. She’s really pretty.

“Night guys,” Biggs and Wedge look like they are about to collapse at any moment too. Cloud doesn’t feel so bad leaning on Zack then.

“Night.” He echoes back at them. He can’t bother to put an edge in his voice or harden his face.

Zack’s arm is so warm across his shoulders he hardly notices the chilly night air. He notices that he loses some time though. They are suddenly in the apartment and Zack is unlacing his boots for him.

“Mmm, I got it.” Cloud mumbles and nearly knocks heads with Zack.

Zack lets him finish and does…something. Cloud can’t focus. So tired.

He waits till Zack crawls into the bed and just falls into him. Face squished against Zack’s sternum.

“We should look for a bigger place?” Zack murmurs.

“Nah…” yes, sleep. For once, he can’t wait to sleep. He’s just dosing off when Zack shakes him.

“Wait, the thing. We didn’t do the thing.”

“Ugh, no. it's fine. I’m fine.”

Zack’s hand slips into his hair; this is not helping him stay awake.

“N-oo, we gotta.”

Fine.

“Fine.”

There’s a long stretch of silence.

“Zack?”

“Right, sorry. How many days we’ve been in Midgar?”

“Ten.”

The thing. Zack came up with it. After admitting to Zack that he couldn’t remember anything, Cloud was a little horrified that he just spilled a secret he wasn’t even sure meant. The more mako draining from his body, the less hazy everything gets. He can remember his full days now, and even most of the last year on the run with Zack is less foggy. He’s still got massive blank spots in his head and Nibelheim is still extremely confusing. But it’s better. Zack’s ‘thing’ is a list of questions mostly retaining time slots. If Cloud was struggling to remember the number of days, Zack could help gauge his loss of time.

“Cloud…how, days …been training?” Zack is half asleep. Right the _thing._

“Seven.”

“How long…..not…coma…”

“Nine.”

There’s a long silence. Cloud lifts his head. Zack is totally out.

Good.

He’s doing just fine.

****

The next day Zack’s got no jobs for the day, so they both sleep in and Cloud wakes up from fading weird dreams and the smell of flowers again. He doesn't mention it to Zack.

Cloud goes to the bar early afternoon and Zack follows him like a lost puppy. There's hardly anyone up, so it shouldn't be too busy. Oddly, the sign is flipped to close and Seventh Heaven is filled with tension as they step in. It’s thick, muggy, and makes it hard to breathe. Tifa’s smile seems forced and the trio is huddled around the pinball machine not meeting anyone’s eyes.

“Uh, should we…not be here?” Zack asks.

“No, no it’s fine. Come on, grab some lunch.” Tifa shoots a glare at the three and they all tense up.

“Uh,” Jessie says, “We’re gonna…go work out in the gym….” She lies so badly she winces.

Zack narrows his eyes at her. That feeling, when someone knows you know a secret that they know....yeah. That's what is suffocating him in the air. He'll take nausea from the mako instead. They watch as the three of them are lowered down into Tifa’s 'gym'. All six of them remain eye contact the whole time.

It’s fucking _weird._

“Tifa,” a booming voice fills the bar, the door swings open forcefully and shuts just as hard.

Cloud‘s pretty proud of himself, he only jumps a little. Zack doesn’t even notice.

“Barret!” Tifa’s not making eye contact with them now. And something in Zack’s face sets darkly, “Welcome back. Uh, Marlene is not with you?”

Cloud’s not really paying attention, he’s more annoyed at the tension in Zack’s shoulders. He knows something and he hasn’t shared it with him. It stings a little.

 _Barret_ is a massive man with dark smooth skin and red tattoo’s climbing all up his arms. Well…one of his arms.

“Is that a Gatling gun…as his arm.” Cloud murmurs, stepping a little behind Zack. He’s not afraid, but the air is still choking and making him uneasy. Goosebumps are forming on the back of his neck.

Tifa and he clearly know each other. Despite the odd tension, she’s relaxed talking to him. So that means all this weirdness is about them. Great. Can’t wait for that.

“Nah, she’s all tuckered out from the trip back. Left her with Marle till this meeting is over. You don’t mind lookin’ after her this evening?”

“Not at all, I would be happy too. Um…” Tifa glances at them none too subtly.

Barret clearly follows her gaze and frowns, looking over the thin sunglasses on his face. It’s not very comforting that he points at them with his gun arm, “who are these chumps?”

Zack makes a small noise in his throat like he’s trying to hold back a laugh. Cloud doesn’t get it.

“Uh, friends, they’re friends of mine…from back home.”

Barret walks further into the bar, eyeing them up.

Cloud’s tired of this already. What’s with the size up, it’s Tifa’s bar. She can have whoever she wants in it. Cloud doesn’t like this guy.

“They’re here for mercenary work; uh…they just got into town.” Tifa is trying to draw Barret’s attention, but it’s not working too well.

Zack’s been kicked into protective mode, though his body is still fairly calm. He’s locked eyes with Barret.

“You don’t have to lie for them, Tifa,” Barret leans into Zack’s personal space and Cloud can feel his own shoulders tensing. This guy needs to back off right now, “them ain’t no mercs. Eyes like that. You boys are SOLDIERS. And there’s no room for ShinRa SOLDIER dogs in my bar.”

“It’s Tifa’s bar,” Cloud says, eyes hardening.

“Cloud!” Tifa hisses at him from behind Barret.

Barret barks a laugh, but it’s not friendly.

“Alright, SOLDIER with sass, that’s cute and all. But you still don’t belong in here. Why don’t you mutts scram.”

“Ex-SOLDIER.” Zack finally says, he leans on his hip. He’s sized Barret up, “we have no loyalty to ShinRa.”

“Still don’t have any use for mercs.” Barret’s got a vein on his forehead that’s pulsing.

“No? I heard Avalanche is hurting for members.”

So that’s the secret. Cloud still has no idea what Zack is talking about. He doesn't know what Avalanche is. Still annoying he didn’t tell him. His left eye twitches.

Apparently, this is supposed to be more dramatic than Cloud feels. Tifa gasps and Barret is snarling like a bulldog at them.

Irony.

“How did you find out?” Tifa asks, she sounds miffed.

Zack laughs, “No offense. You’re not really subtle. Jessie’s always doodling schematics and Biggs and Wedge keep talking about ‘the stuff for the group meeting.’ Sides, half the slum are your ‘supporters’, and the guns downstairs. Oh _yeah_ , and you have a hidden downstairs. It’s pretty easy to figure out once you pay attention.”

For some reason this is pissing Barret off. It’s lost on Cloud and he just wants to go.

“I don’t care what you are then, or how you know about us. We ain’t looking for members and we ain’t hiring ex-ShinRa mutts.” There’s that arm gun, “scram.”

“That’s fine, I have no interest in getting anywhere near ShinRa.”

Barret has another stare down with them, “tch,” walks to the pinball machine, and disappears into the floor.

How does he fit? Cloud tilts his head, the guy’s way wider than the pinball machine.

Tifa sighs, “I’m sorry.”

Zack’s already shrugged it all off, rolling an arm out, moving for the doorway, “it’s fine. No worries. We won’t be telling anyone if you’re worried about that.”

“No! I….Barret’s a good guy. Just protective and intense.”

Zack laughs, “No kidding.”

Tifa’s face sets, eyes a little wet, but stern, “I don’t want you to think you’re not welcome here. Just ignore Barret.”

“You got it.”

“Zack-”

For some reason, hearing Tifa say Zack’s name. Is odd. Cloud feels like he doesn’t belong all of a sudden.

Not here in Seventh Heaven.

Or as Tifa’s friend.

Or with Zack.

He waits for the static.

Zack inhales sharply, stops in his tracks and hunches down a bit. _What_ , it's a weird day today.

“Hey…” a small touch to his shoulder, “Zack. Are you okay?”

All smiles and light eyes, “yeah Blondie. Just a muscle spasm. Come on, let’s go kind some grub somewhere different for the day.”

“Okay…”

He glances back at Tifa. He feels bad, she looks lost and almost like she’s going to cry.

“Come back for the night shift?” almost as if she’s afraid to ask, she’s so pulled in to herself.

Little girl Tifa in her white dresses and easy laughter flashes in his mind. He longs for her smile. So he gives her one of his own,

“You bet, "And follows Zack out into the slums.

They eat at one of the food carts near the train station, slow and quiet. Zack’s acting fine, but there’s a buzzing in Cloud’s head that feels off. He’s slow to meet Cloud’s eyes, doesn’t chat at Cloud. He’d enjoy the silence more if he could just figure out what Zack is being weird about. The Avalanche thing can't be all of it. Maybe he's been weird since they got up and he just didn't notice. They stop by the weapons shop at Zack’s interest after a long lunch but don’t stay long. There’s not much there that catches either of their eyes.

Cloud feels the ghost of the buster in his hands. He was to wiggle his fingers for a good five minutes to get it to fade away.

Another pit stop, Zack talks to Wyler about any job lineups. He’s got nothing for him, and Cloud can see the worry etching back into Zack’s face. The walk back to the apartment is still quiet. It’s been a few hours; it’s probably safe to head back to Seventh Heaven. But Zack’s so off when Cloud asks if he wants to go, he just shrugs.

“Nah, you go hang with Tifa, I need a nap.”

He wants to be alone.

Cloud feels his chest hollow out.

There’s static again.

He wishes he were better at reading people. Or just comforting. There’s a wall between them and Cloud doesn’t know when that happened. Or even how to get over it. So he just goes to see Tifa and tries not to let the stinging in his eyes get any stronger.

It's a fucking weird day.

***

Zack slams the door forcefully and the whole room shakes. He thinks he even hears wood splinter.

He doesn’t mean to be distant, but there’s too much swimming in his head.

Avalanche.

Cloud clearly has no recognition of them. Which isn’t all that concerning. During the war…really only the top tiers of SOLDIER dealt with Avalanche. And Cloud…he was just an itty-bitty bright-eyed cadet at the end there. He still feels bad. Zack caught that look in his eyes. He should have least told him he found out why their new friends had a super weird secret basement. He’s unsure what to do. Avalanche now; they’re not the same group. There are so many splinter groups within the organization and they all fight among each other. He’s seen the posters around the slums.

Join Avalanche, the planet is dying, do your part to stop it. This isn’t Wutai’s Avalanche.

Eco-terrorist, that’s what they are.

Zack…used to have such a clear head about this stuff. Anyone out to harm ShinRa must be out to harm the city of Midgar and all the surrounding ones that ShinRa supports. So it was easy, an enemy of ShinRa, an enemy of his. He’s been stuck in war for so long and then chasing after fuck ups and weird-ass experiments and ghosts of sanity that he doesn’t know what to think of normal life.

Not that belonging to an Eco-terrorist group is normal.

Tifa’s done so much for them. Jessie and Wedge and Biggs too. He knows them, they are good people. They’re good to Cloud, really good to him. It's not often a whole group of people are as understanding as they are. They know what he is...and they hate what he is. And they still...damnit. He was supposed to be getting Cloud as far away from ShinRa as he could. Instead, he walked them right into the den.

Tifa won’t pressure him, he can see that. Her sincerity is real. But…Zack has a hard time turning down friends.

If she asked…if they were in trouble. Of course he’d help, in a flash.

He’s got no reserves about harming ShinRa, not after all that shit Hojo did. The more he thinks about it, the more he wants to get back at ShinRa. He’s been a loyal little SOLDIER for too long and Cloud is better…

No. If they found him. He’s not sure death would be the worst case. ShinRa is a dark hole of monsters and violence and suffering. He’s only started learning the tip of the iceberg. Who knows what is swimming around at the bottom. He should be running.

He should be.

Where’s that static from?

Zack drops his weight onto the bed, it creaks under the force. His head is pounding all of a sudden. Stay up too late, not enough sleep probably.

Static….

“Weird.”

***

Barret’s nowhere in the bar when Cloud gets there. Which is fine, but neither is Tifa.

Jessie is though, alone. Looking lost and small without the guys next to her. She’s got her head in her hands and a solemn shadow over her face. Not very typical of her. She doesn’t even look up at him as he walks over. She’s looking at the little notebook she’s always scribbling in. Eyes distant.

“Hey.”

“Oh shit!” She jumps so violently her knees bang the bottom of the table, “Cloud, damn. Warn a girl would ya?”

“-uh, sorry…I... sorry.”

Her laugh is a little nervous, “like a cat you are. What happened to needing me to hold you up, huh?”

Cloud frowns, “I don’t need help.”

“Nope, you sure don’t, pretty eyes. Not anymore.” She rests her chin in her slender hand, eyes going distant again.

Cloud just stands there. He’s not really sure what he should do. The bar is still closed and it looks like Tifa already brought up the cases of beer. Maybe he should go back to the apartment and try the whole comforting thing with Zack.

He feels his stomach tumble with nerves just thinking about it.

He'll mess it up.

Better just…stand here.

“Where’s Tifa?” he asks.

“Mhmm? Oh, I think she went to go check on her next supply run. That was a real party last night.”

Okay, maybe he will take Zack instead.

“Uh, I’m just…. Zack…” he takes a step back, points at the door with this thumb over his shoulder.

Jessie’s eyes light up at Zack’s name though, “Hey. Actually, you know who needs help?”

“Who”

“Me. Can you help me out? It’ll be real fast.”

“Mmph.” He crosses his arms, waiting.

“Can you tell Zack I got a job for him?”

“For Avalanche.”

Jessie winces, “well yes…he doesn’t have to do it. Just. Just tell him to get on the redline-101, in an hour. Okay? I can fill him in on the train.”

“Thought Barret didn’t want hired dogs.”

Another wince, “ah, he said that, did he? Don’t worry about Barret. He’s all talk. Just likes to put up a front. We really could use the help.”

“Fine. What’s the pay?”

“2000 Gil. That’s all I can do.”

“…fine. I’ll tell him.”

“You will?” She’s so happy; he can’t trust it’s all genuine. But she’s swaying a bit as she does sometimes when Biggs gives her a compliment. He nods, “Yay, you’re a real sweetie Cloud.”

He better move it then. An hour is not very long for Zack to think about taking it or not.

“Hey,” Jessie calls after him, “You’re...not mad at us? Cause we didn’t tell you?”

Cloud shrugs; he’s still not that clear what Avalanche is. It’s…familiar. Like so many things. Back when he was a cadet, he thinks he heard it once or twice.

“Makes no difference to me.” And she melts into soft eyes and a bright smile. Feels like Zack. Hurts his chest. Huh.

“One hour!” She calls after his back.

He hurries along the short path, the Sunday night crowds are coming out and they are weird. Must be jittery for the workweek. Cloud hates helping out on Sundays. He’ll have to go back after he tells Zack about Jessie’s proposition.

He can’t leave that look in Tifa’s eyes until Monday.

The door looks wonky as he approaches, a crack near the door handle. Feels like a bad omen.

Inside, everything is fine though. Zack’s asleep, half on the bed, his long legs dangle over the bottom. Great.

He’s got to wake him up now too. He could just go back and tell Jessie he said no. Or leave them hanging in the wind. That feels wrong. They’re…they're his friends. Oddly enough.

Cloud takes a deep inhale. Maybe...

Maybe he could go.

Mercenary work. It’s not like he doesn’t have any weapon skills. He was in the fucking military.

Zack’s buster sword is standing right there against the wall, calling out to him.

Cloud’s heart starts beating fast. He’s still got the SOLDIER harness and one of the shoulder guards.

Zack’s been taking care of him for so long, it’s just one job. Doesn’t mean he’s part of Avalanche.

Quietly, he slips the harness around him, tightens it over his shoulders. Fits the one-shoulder guard on his left side and pulls on his makeshift gloves.

His hand shakes over the handle of the buster sword. He can't look over at Zack, his stomach is hurting with guilt already. He grabs it, feels good in his hand. Feels like his. He waits to clip the buster onto his back until he's outside. It clanks a little.

The air is still clear and his heart is pounding.

He heads to the train station.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry if that cliff hanger sucks, lol. Here we mesh with Canon Remake for a tiny bit. Get ready! Spoilers for the game ahead in next few chapters! 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading! I know I don't respond to your comments, I just get too giddy and I don't want to spam everyone. lol I love hearing what you guys think so much! 
> 
> See ya soon.


	4. I Miss You When I Least Expect It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Static

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Once again, you guys are freaking awesome, as usual. I had slight trouble with this chapter, I wanted to get it just right, some fun stuff happens. :)
> 
> Happy Reading!

It takes Cloud longer than he thought to get to the train station, guilt chasing him the whole way. The slums are large and so much of everything looks the same, despite his body being better then ever, it tires his mind quickly. Zack’s buster sword clanking in his harness isn't helping. When he finally gets there he sees Jessie disappear into a middle passenger car, Biggs and Wedge already inside. Looks to be the last train, as Jessie mentioned, redline-101 flashing on the side. No one getting on it except for a few ShinRa foot soldiers at the front car. The station is all cleared out, scraps of paper and trash floating in the chilly wind. Steam hisses from the front engine and the doors slide shut, wheels already rolling on the tacks.

Shit. Cloud breaks into a run. It’s close, but he manages to jump the tracks onto the last car, clutching onto the ladder with his heart pounding. There are no windows except the one an the door, which is locked. He'll have to find another way in. He can make out Jessie’s long hair and red bandana through the one window a few cars over. He’ ll have to try to get her attention. Lucky for him the ladder he swung onto goes up to the roof of the cars.

Guess it’s time to really test his new SOLDIER abilities.

There are lots of turns in the beginning and a steep hill the train has to climb before getting to the tunnels that spiral up onto the upper plate. Despite that meaning a long ride out in the cold, Cloud's body is on fire, he hates admitting it, but he's nervous. Zack's not around to catch him if his body just decided it's not finished being poisoned. Cloud waits till they hit the tunnels, where the tracks even out into a steady climb, to climb up onto the roof, just to be safe.

Double-checking through the door window, yep still about four cars down Jessie keeps swinging in and out of view. With an encouraging exhale, Cloud swiftly pulls himself up and onto the roof. He expects to be disoriented and off-balance by the speed but, nothing. It’s like being on solid ground. Even when he stands from his crouch. It’s a small self-confidence builder. He’s still got to jump the cars.

Turns out it’s no sweat.

He’s got to check if he’s at the right car. He looks over the side of the train. No foot deck or railing at the bottom to jump down, flat all the way down the walls. Up here, the railing lines the perimeter of the roof, two-inch black pipes, he’ll have to hang off that. Gripping tightly with his right hand, Cloud leans over, aware of the rushing walls around him. Lowering himself horizontal so he can reach down to the window is immediately a strain on his arm. Guess his body is not as recovered as he thought. He tries not to hear Zack's 'told you' in his head. He lets his grip out just a bit more until it’s enough of a distance away from the car that he can see Jessie, Biggs, and Wedge inside. He doubts he's in view of them, the windows are lower than the normal passenger trains.

It’s a tight fit, between the walls and the train. He lacks his grip a bit more, hanging onto the railing with a shaking arm and just his fingers. His shoulders are still sore from training the other day as well, so he’ll have to be quick. Just a bit more, he doubts more than his arm is in view, but he knocks on a window rather aggressively before yanking himself back up onto the flat roof. His fingers feel tingly.

Cloud's not going to do that again, so the knock is all they get. Hopefully, they heard him. He’ll jump a few more cars ahead and hunker down till they get…

Wherever they are going.

***

Inside the train, Wedge is the only one facing the windows on the left side. He's a little glossy-eyed and tried, he'd overslept on his nap. He sees it but doesn't register until more of an arm juts out of nowhere, into view and knocks so hard the whole row of windows vibrate.

“Arm! There’s an arm,” he yelps.

Jessie and Biggs both look at him with concern, turn just in time to see a hand pull up and the end of a very wide sword disappear over the train car.

“Yes!” Jessie does a small hop, her hair bouncing, “I knew he wouldn't let me down.”

Biggs frowns, a sinking in his stomach already, they don't need more variables to go wrong, “who wouldn’t let you down? Jessie, what did you do?”

“I may have hired us some security?” she flashes him an innocent smile.

Wedge grimaces and Biggs groans into his hand. Barret had been very aggressive in the meeting about no merc hiring and no more talking to ShinRa mutts. They hadn't been up in the bar when Barret met Cloud and Zack, but they certainly heard a lot of yelling. All of it from Barret. Not that they were going to really listen to him, the three of them could easily admit those two SOLDIER's had wormed their way into their hearts.

“Jessie, Barret’s not going to be pleased with this.”

“Oh, don’t worry,” she waves Biggs off, “I’ll tell him. Besides, you know how much faster this will be with Zack? In and out baby!” And she skips down to the far end where Barret is leaning against the car door; head down and in the shadows.

Biggs sighs after her and shares a look with Wedge, “does this feel like a bad omen to you? Because it does to me.”

“Eh, it’ll work out. Come on, we have to move up cars. Plus, she's not wrong. We're okay holding our own. But fighters?” An omen then indeed.

Barret is not pleased.

“You what?” It’s the quiet whisper that means they are in trouble. Wedge hunches into his large shoulders, squeaking past them into the next car. No way is he hanging around to listen to Jessie get chewed out.

“I mean, it’ll be much safer!” Jessie laughs through her nerves, “come on, we know him. We can trust Zack. Plus, we’ve never been inside a reactor, SOLDIER’s go in them all the time.”

It only half convinces Barret, he hums angrily at her for a little while before, “fine. But I’m not letting that ShinRa mutt outta my sight. One wrong move and-” he demonstrates by pretending to fire his arm gun.

“Haha, you got it, boss,” Jessie saves her wince for when she follows Wedge and Biggs into the next car. Good thing Zack is so well mannered. She’s going have to really thank Cloud for convincing him to come.

Slowly, over the hour it takes to get there, they move up cars and settle into hiding positions. Barret in the one that Zack knocked on. Wedge is up front on the second train car and Jessie and Biggs split evenly between them. She hopes Zack isn’t cold up on the roof. She breathes deep and sits down to calm her shaking legs, cautious of all the explosives on her.

When Biggs taps his knuckles on the far car door, she bounces to her feet. Go time. She places herself into the dark corner by the door.

The train slows with a loud whistle and a soft jolt. Hunkering down, she watches two guards come down the staircase. One stops at the car Wedge is at and the other keeps a slow trot down the station. Once he’s passed Biggs's car, Jessie crouches below the windows and waits to slide out the door after she hears Wedge take out the first guy.

She catches Biggs grabbing the last guard and rushes down the platform, perfectly timing a hard kick to the stomach, “sorry!” she whispers under her breath, as the guard collapses.

She’s not that sorry. She grins at Biggs and they wait for Wedge to join them. She’s excited having Zack help out. It eases her nerves to have someone familiar with ShinRa at least. Going into the unknown is scary. Plus, who doesn't want to see a SOLDIER in action? Even if they are scummy ShinRa. Not counting Zack and Cloud, of course.

Barret steps out and nods at them, checks down the platform one more time. No more guards yet.

“Get down here, merc!” Barret shouts after a second of no one else getting off the train.

Jessie bounces a little in anticipation, glancing back behind her at Wedge. She’s not expecting the look of complete shock. It's just Zack-

“Wha-”

That is _not_ Zack smoothly slipping his massive buster onto his back.

“-oh my god, Cloud?” O-h she is going to be in _so_ much trouble.

Biggs tenses next to her and hisses, “are you kidding me. You said you asked Zack.”

Oh no.

Oh n-o.

There’s no more time to panic, more footsteps are rushing down the staircases behind them.

“You’re up, ShinRa mutt.” Barret barking orders like that is not going to fly by Cloud. Yep, she's for sure made this mission a lot harder. She's not talking to Biggs the rest of the time. He's going to be relentless.

Zack is going to _kill_ her.

Biggs pulls her to the wall as the guards round the corner. Just Cloud all by himself staring them down.

"Come on Cloud, come o-n, you can do this," She's muttering under her breath. He's just standing there.

Barret frowns at the hesitation. Looks as if he’s going to speak up, but Cloud grasps the buster sword and it's all over in seconds. It’s an impressive distance he jumps; two powerful, smoothly timed slashes and the guards are down. They didn’t even have time to raise their guns.

“Woah,” Biggs and Wedge chorus.

Woah is right; Jessie slides up to Cloud tapping his bare shoulder with a light bounce, “Excuse me, who are you _Mr. Smooth._ ”

Cloud looks at her through his lashes with a tiny smirk, sword going onto his back.

“Also-” her tap turns into a small smack, “you’re not Zack!”

He at least winces, “…he’s sleeping.”

Oh _good_ , Cloud came in his place because he felt bad about waking up Zack. She’d think it’s cute, but this is a very dangerous situation they are in.

Biggs frowns at him, glancing at Barret down the platform still, “Did you take Zack’s sword, cause last time I checked, you don’t have a weapon.”

Another tiny wince, he’s hiding behind his hair, “…no….”

“Oh- my- god.”

“Well,” Wedge speaks up, “It's too late now. Come on, Barret’s coming.”

Cloud doesn’t look at her as they jog up ahead. She hears Barret sneering at him and feels instantly bad. After that they don’t have a chance to speak for a bit. They have to weave through the station, groups of guards coming at them every few minutes.

Cloud cuts them all down with a grace and speed she wasn’t aware he had. Every time there’s a lull, Barret is insulting Cloud (not that it's hard to do that); it’s making her nerves worse. She tries to catch Cloud’s eye to reassure him, but he’s all hard stares and not looking at any ones face.

It’s the first door they have to hack through that’s a good spot to talk. Barret’s keeping lookout down from them and it’s a more secluded area, fewer guards. Wedge is chatting up a storm already, but Cloud’s being even more standoffish than usual. Putting on a brave face maybe? She glances back, no. His eyes are cold. It’s unnerving. Maybe she shouldn't bother him.

“-thought you guys would be mad at us. So you are going to join up then?” Wedge asks.

“No.”

“But-”

“It’s just one job. That’s it,” Cold. He’s being cold, not aloof.

“Done,” Biggs says over the hissing of the doors.

At least they are inside the reactor already. By this rate, they might have to hang around on the upper plate for the trains to start again. At least she wasn’t wrong about having a SOLDIER with them. They are speeding through. They leave Wedge outside the main entrance to the Mako pool, then Biggs by the elevator. Just about done. She manages to get Cloud to look at her in the elevator on the ride down.

For some reason, that’s the time he softens. Too bad Barret has to ruin it by getting on his case again. She doesn’t say anything though, just follows Cloud out, down the walkway and ladder before taking her place by the entrance to the main room. She hopes Cloud can handle Barret by himself. They meet eyes as they pass and she tries to give him the most reassuring look she can manage. She's not sure her eyes are as expressive as Cloud's. The only expressive thing about him.

Jessie takes her spot against the wall and waits, trying not to think about the repercussions she’s going to get once they get back. She hopes Zack stays asleep and that Tifa will just keep quiet. Ten minutes go by. Odd, how long does it take to set a time a bomb. Not long, not one of hers. It's basically stick and press a button. There’s a sudden loud crash and the whole place vibrates. She doesn’t even have time to wonder because Barret and Cloud are bursting through the door at a full run. She can see fire in the room before the door closes.

“Let’s go, let’s go.” Barret yells, “Up the ladder.”

She makes it onto the walkway before a massive shake starts causing the ceiling to come down.

“What did you guys do?” she yells down at Cloud. He’s halfway up the ladder and Barret is down by the entrance door still.

That’s when a large pipe falls, crashes into the walkway and a nice, thick slab of concrete falls on her. Awesome. She only blacks out for a second, probably more from the sudden pain in her calves, then a real pass out. Far away, Barret’s yelling something at Cloud, and then she’s looking into his glowing blue mako eyes.

They really are pretty and much warmer, his guard dropped, “you okay?” he asks, already moving the slab of concrete.

“Peachy, help me up yah?” He does, and he’s gentle too, it's surprising. And sweet.

“Take care of Jessie!” Barret yells up at them. The fallen pipe had separated their paths. Barret takes the entrance door to the service ladders around the hallway.

The room around them is falling apart and they still have to go up another ladder level to get to the elevator. She's shaking.

“Come on, move it” Cloud’s snipping at her, but he doesn't rush or leave her behind. What a sweetie.

She’s speed talking at him the whole time. He’s nice enough to ignore it, yet another surprise. Barret’s already at the elevator when they reach it. She can see his hand is shaking; they don’t have much time left. Counts down the whole time in her head. Five minutes.

On the elevator at three minutes.

Out the main door at one minute, Biggs and Wedge already down the t-bridge. They wave at them to hurry up.

The bomb blast feels massive and way more powerful than she built it. It sends her flying; lucky her Cloud catches her arm before she can eat metal. He tosses her as the bridge shakes below their feet and for the most terrifying seconds in her life, she watches as Cloud goes down with it.

“Cloud!” shit, shit, Zack is really for reals going to _kill_ her. She should just throw herself off the bridge if she’s not coming back with Cloud.

Cloud ruins all the dramatics by hopping up the slower falling parts and back-flipping smoothly onto the solid platform. Just like that, no heavy breathing or muscle trembling. Like he does it every day for kicks.

“Okay, that’s pretty cool, but let’s try to _not_ do that again, anytime soon.” Her heart is thundering in her chest.

Cloud smiles shyly through his lashes at her again. So _sweet_.

She’s not telling Zack about this though, ever. _Never, ever._

They leave the burning reactor at a slower run, catching up with the others out on the street.

Where all hell has broken loose and the sky is deep red with flames and smoke.

***

Zack keeps waking up at odd morning hours. Maybe it's the merc jobs throwing his sleep schedule off. It's weird. He's used to more structure. This time, the static he fell asleep with is still in his head, headache too. He's pretty sure that's what woke him. It’s also colder than usual. He shifts. Reaches his arm out for Cloud.

He’s only grasping at air.

“Cloud?”

A dread pulls his stomach up to his throat as the silence seems to get louder. He's not sure why, but the air seems to be whispering to him.

He glances at the clock, after midnight, almost one in the morning. He drags himself to sit up. It’s stupid, but he looks twice around the tiny room. No light on in the toilet room, no water running in the shower. His brain is all fogged with static, slow to wake up.

Cloud’s not here.

He did have a night shift, but it’s a Sunday night. Tifa doesn’t keep the bar open longer than ten on Sunday. That dread turns into a thick knot he can’t swallow down. Something else is missing, tickles at his brain. Then splits it, smells like copper. What’s missing? The spot on the…

His buster sword is not leaning against the wall. It’s not in the room at all.

Lungs heavy, Zack struggles to keep an anger he doesn’t know down. It’s overtaking the worry fluttering in his chest.

Those looks form Jessie, Biggs, and Wedge yesterday. Avalanche’s head boss back in town.

Zack’s not stupid.

Static's getting more painful.

There are no answers for him here, he can think himself crazy. Maybe already has, rage is shaking in his hands, fogging his mind. Feels foreign. Why is he so angry? He should be worried.

Angeal’s buster sword is missing.

It’s hot.

He needs answers. This kind of need, one fueled in rage, it’s dangerous. Corrupting.

He’s not sure when he left the apartment but the chilly air is making his skin burn hot. Everything falls away to the pull of raging static. Somewhere in the quiet spot of his mind, he doesn’t know who this is. But it’s deep down, far down, being smothered from the anger. He’s tired of being himself.

He can never _save_ anyone.

Tifa’s out front, sitting on the staircase of Seventh Heaven, the only other place Cloud goes. She’s too relaxed and there’s no sight of the blonde. A small pang of worry, it’s not strong enough to overcome the burning. Vaguely, his mind registers there’s a little girl sitting next to her.

Right now. Right now, who fucking cares. He barely stops himself from just grabbing Tifa, screaming for answers. Something breaks in him, turning him wrong and he can't stop it. Only see it and scream.

He’s shaking so hard it hurts. Tifa’s normal sweet smile slowly falls away as he walks up. He doesn’t miss the way she scoots in front of the little girl, covering most of her tiny body with her arm.

He knows what he looks like. The rage must be burning the mako in his system. Pumping in his veins, fueling the overdrive of strength. His eyes must be burning bright. Good, he likes it.

“Zack,” She’s cautious like she’s talking to a wounded animal, “what’s-”

“-where,” it’s hard to breathe between words, “is he.” He’s not asking.

He hates the confusion in her eyes. It’s lies. She knows. She’s _Avalanche._

_She._

_Knows._

“Za-”

“Where. The. Fuck. Is. Cloud.”

Painful static, there’s so much of it. Fueling…feeding the rage.

Tifa’s on her feet, her whole body tense and hard, he notices the line in muscle in her arms jump. She’s saying something, not to him, and turning away from him, grabbing something. The little girl?

He needs answers, she can't just ignore him. He follows her in. That’s fine; she can’t hide in the bar. There’s only one way in. One way out.

Static’s just pain now…there’s a voice among it. It sounds, like a friend from a long time ago.

“Zack,” O-oh, a fight, she’s got that rage staring back at him in her red eyes, “what is happening to you?”

Every step he takes, she sways with him, blocking him. It’s getting harder to move, his body’s being consumed.

Static pain splitting his mind; that voice…

***

Tifa’s scared. She’s sent Marlene upstairs with little resistance, good, at least that's an immediate worry off her mind. Marlene didn't put up a fight, probably because Zack looks like a wolf gone rabid. He’s visibly shaking, his movements are slow and jerky. It’s not a comfort, she can't outrun him, SOLDIER training overtakes the body easily. There’s power radiating off his muscles and his eyes. His eyes are not his. So much mako in them, they almost look sea green, his pupil dilated back so small it’s almost vertical. She doesn’t know what he’s talking about. Cloud never showed up for the night shift, she just assumed he had stayed at the apartment; he seemed drained after Barret.

She’s not sure how to convince Zack she doesn’t know where Cloud is. She doesn’t even know who she’s staring at, but it’s not Zack.

“He’s not here, Zack.” Even if he was, the rage in Zack’s body. She wouldn’t tell him like this.

“Lies,” Zack snarls at her, “he took. My. Buster.” Every word is punched with a rattling breath. Like he’s fighting a heavy force. She spots blood running from his nose. What is happening?

Zack’s not like this, especially with Cloud. The rage doesn’t add up. She feels out of control and she just keeps thinking about Marlene upstairs.

Wait, took his buster sword?

…Jessie had asked her in the meeting. Asked if she thought it was a good idea to ask Zack to accompany them. If it would help. She should have lied. Cloud must have gone instead. That means Jessie had asked him, even after Barret had flat out refused to get either of them involved. Tifa has to push the flare of worry for Cloud down; she’s got a rabid wolf to deal with first.

She’s worried she’s going to have to punch Zack out when he suddenly convulses, whole body jitters and collapses to his knees, screaming. A horrible deep and raspy scream, not human.

“Zack!” he’s hunched over, hands digging into his hair. There's blood dripping onto the floor.

Despite the danger, she slides down next to him, grips his arms and pulls. He’s going to cut into his scalp if he keeps gripping this hard. He’s mumbling about static, too much static?

“Zack,” she calls, “Zack, it’s okay.”

Too much static from where? Her shitty TV isn’t on. She’s even more scared now, whatever is happening is inside his head.

She hopes Marlene is still in her room.

She’s just about to try using her healing materia when Zack just knocks out.

The silence is very jarring.

Well, …at least she doesn’t have to punch him out herself.

***

“Z-ack, hey, Zack. You gotta get up.”

Smells like flowers again. That keeps happening.

“Come on, get up.”

He knows that voice. Aerith?

A giggle, “you got it on the first guess, way to go!”

It’s not real; she won’t be there when he opens his eyes.

“Hey, I’m real.”

Huh. She is. She’s leaning over him, green eyes bright and sandy hair softly framing her face. It’s all blurry white behind her though. That’s a little weird. Since when is the sky white.

“You ready to get up now?”

Not really. There’s something wrong with him. He’s gotta stay here until it goes away.

“Mmm, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with you.”

Oh, man, that’s a lie he’s told himself too many times lately.

“Come on, you gotta move. Cloud needs you.”

Cloud? Cloud doesn’t need him anymore. He left. How does Aerith know Cloud?

“He killed me.”

That’s not Aerith. Zack tries to sit up, but a searing pain shoves him back down. There’s a boot digging into his wrist cutting open the flesh down to the bone, Zack can see the blood spilling over. Silver hair…

There’s silver hair above him. Can barely move his head to look, his body feels still and frozen. Sephiroth. It’s fucking Sephiroth over him.

“Very good, now tell me…” a ripping in his chest, a blade, thin and long, it keeps going, tearing all his muscles, “where is Cloud?”

His eyes so bright and sea green. There’s a rage in them, burning him from inside, Zack can see it.

He can feel it in himself.

How.

“Re-”

He can’t getaway.

“-union.”

Sephiroth’s laughing among his mumbling His eyes, there’s something wrong with his eyes. They look so alien.

Zack tries to move, but he’s impaled. Sephiroth just keeps laughing, dragging his sword up through Zack’s body, cutting through flesh and bone. Hurts so much, it’s too much. White-hot pain.

Cloud-

And then nothing.

***

They had to split up. ShinRa guards everywhere, at every turn Cloud goes down. Jessie said to get to the train station. They would take the first train back together, but they had to get on separately. Something about being less suspicious. Cloud doesn’t think it really matters, cameras are everywhere. If ShinRa has their faces, it won’t matter how they get on. He didn't say that though, he can be considerate. Sometimes. Zack's probably laughing at him back in the slums.

Anxiety is heavy on him, he needs to get back before Zack wakes up. Now that the mission is over, Cloud only has his guilt to focus on.

He shouldn’t have taken Zack’s sword. He knows how much it means, one of the few things he does still remember. He takes a few back streets, tries to ignore all the people crying. Around the corner, he's almost there but-

Shit. There’s a whole blockade ahead. He doubles back and turns down a cobbled street that seems familiar. He’s never been to this sector. Why does it seem familiar? It's on the edge of his mind. Something missing, someone? A dark alley he passes wafts the scent of flowers. It draws him close.

On the ground, a single yellow flower. He feels sad, for some reason.

ShinRa hounds bark loudly down the other way, it spooks him. Got to keep going. He doesn't have much time. Only one train leaving before the sector is closed off. He turns and keeps going, ruins and people shouting everywhere, he has to climb over an entire building just to reach the station. When he does, the whole fucking highway crumbles down onto it.

With it comes static. It’s sharp and head-splitting, punches the air from his lungs, in a blink, it’s not the station around him on fire.

No…it looks like. Nibelheim.

The fire’s raging, burning all buildings, even the grass that never turns green. No no, he’s in Midgar, this isn’t real. The smoke feels real, it's really in his lungs and burning his eyes. He shakes his head to rid the image. Doesn’t usually work, but it does this time.

“Hm.” Headache lingers.

There’s still fire, but it’s only on the one side. Seems the station is still intact. Just has to go around. Easy, he spins on his heal and runs straight into a very tall body in familiar black armor. Silver hair?

“How…” he can’t move, static is cutting though his muscles, he can only travel his eyes up. Silver….

“Found you.”

Sephiroth. Impossible.

“-you're dead.” he gasps out, why is the pain so strong?

Only _his_ chuckle, there’s no other sound. He can only hear his laugh. Low, it’s too low and soft. Too close.

“Run.” Zack? That’s Zack’s voice, “Cloud, run!” Yeah, good idea.

An alley, there’s an alley. Cloud doesn’t even bother looking back. It’s not real. It’s not possible. He’s dead, he killed him.

He…he didn’t remember that before.

“Okay, get a grip. Just move.” He’s talking too loudly to himself. Someone on his right gives him a weird look. Wait, other people, they’re in danger. No, it’s okay, the heats leaving, taking his headache with it. The fire, it’s gone. Where? He looks around for Sephiroth first. He’s nowhere.

Just a memory then? The darkest corner of his mind tells him no.

He’s just going to ignore that. He’s fine. Get to the station.

It’s not far and by the time he makes it to the platform his head is clear again. Must have just been fumes from the mako aggravating his mako poisoning. He’s also late again; the train is already pulling out.

Damn it, gotta stop doing that. He barely manages to jump on again. He’ll have to get inside somehow, it’s almost dawn and people will notice someone riding the roof a lot easier. Luckily, he only has to jump a few train cars when he hears Barret’s rough yelling. Least he’s good for something. It’s a freight, so the side door slides open. He bangs on it and when Biggs slides the door open he swings down inside.

“Cloud!” Jessie throws herself on him before he can even stand, “I saw you get trapped in the fire. I thought Zack was gonna kill me,” she giggles in relief, “still might actually.”

“He’ll kill me first,” Cloud says. Jessie’s laugh is on the hysterical side. She lets go.

Cloud rises and refuses to look at Barret, he really doesn’t like him, much less deal with him. He’s been called a ShinRa mutt enough for the day. The trio around him are staring at their boss with judgment in their eyes. Jessie leans in close to Cloud, as if to protect him.

“Uh,” Barret tries, “you did alright, merc.”

Hm, it’s something, Cloud guesses, “Thanks.”

The silence is going to be long. It’s an hour train ride. He resists the urge to sigh.

Biggs does it for him.

***

Someone’s brushing back the flyaway hairs tickling his nose. Feels like Aerith, but its deep red eyes he looks up at.

“Damn, there he is,” Tifa’s got his head in her lap, “SOLDIER, you got a lot of talking to do.”

The rage, he waits for it to come rushing back. It doesn't. No burning in his veins, no pain in his head. No static. He's still mad though, Cloud just up and stole his sword-wait, Zack sits up, looking around. Worry and panic starting to come back.

“He’s not here, Zack.” Tifa sounds as if they’ve had this conversation before.

Oh, shit-he hadn’t meant to fly off the wall. Why had he? It’s not…normal. He can't really believe that was him. Is...is this what Angeal felt like? At the end, Genesis too? A very dark and thick ball of fear settles in his stomach. What did Hojo do to him? It has to be Hojo, what else?

He feels ashamed too, he'd basically attacked Tifa and, there was a little girl here? Shit, he really hopes not.

“Tifa, oh man, I’m so sorr-”

“-what’s static?” She asks, frown holding a suspicion.

“I’m not sure, that’s never happened before.”

“To you.”

Zack juts his head up, “you?”

“I think Cloud…something similar. You got the same look in your eyes.” She doesn't say 'not like that'. He's never seen Cloud fly into a fit of rage.

Something from Hojo then, for sure. Shit, he’s gotta figure this out.

And find Cloud.

And avoid ShinRa. That same feeling again likes he’s in over his head. Maybe they should leave Midgar, go back to Gongaga.

He needs to find Cloud first. And maybe punch him for taking his sword without asking.

And then maybe kiss him, cause what the fuck. Not cool running off, Zack can’t believe he got sidelined...He’s sorta proud at the same time.

“Zack,” Tifa snaps her fingers.

Right, plan later, focus first, “I…if Cloud gets it…it must be something from Hojo then.”

Tifa’s shoulders shift, she leans back on her hands, she looks sad.

“You never told me the rest of the story.” Indication there.

“You wanna hear it right now?”

She shrugs, “I think…Cloud went with Jessie and the others. They’re not going to be back for a while.”

“Alright…it’s still sad. First, what are they doing?” he has to know. It deals with ShinRa he knows, but he needs confirmation. Maybe it’s not so bad.

Tifa hesitates, “…they’re going to blow up a reactor.”

Oh, that’s _so_ much worse than not so bad.

“Are you…why, why is that a good idea?” She doesn't comment on the hint of hysteria in his voice. That's sweet of her.

“I didn’t say it was.”

Fuck it all. He’s gonna kill Cloud when he gets back.

He _better_ come back.

***

They get back right as the sun peeks over the horizon. Hardly any light, thanks to the plate. There's TV's blasting reports all over, even with it being sunrise. People seem panicked and Cloud briefly wonders what the point of blowing up a reactor is. It's not going to stop ShinRa from mining mako. Something much bigger would have to be done to stop that. From Barret's constant preaching, Cloud's not going to mention. It's not his Eco-terrorist group.

Jessie, Biggs, and Wedge try to keep him in line with them, walking around him, bumping shoulders and Jessie even hangs over him for a bit. They’re riding on adrenaline high and want to include him in their celebrations.

It’s kind of nice. If there wasn’t so much touching. But all Cloud can focus on is getting back to the apartment before Zack wakes up. Besides, he’s not Avalanche, onetime thing, just a job. They splinter off at Seventh Heaven, but not without a few pouts from Jessie when he refuses to go in with them. He really doesn’t want to be around Barret any more today either. He can collect his money from Jessie, or honestly, probably Tifa.

Who comes rushing out of her bar and down the steps at him before he can even get a foot past the building.

“Cloud!

He gets an armful of Tifa. She doesn’t linger, pulls away quickly like she forgot he doesn’t like to be touched. Tifa’s his friend, so it’s not so bad from her. Seeing her expression, he’d rather take the hugging.

“Well, you just going to stand there?” she asks.

Yes, if at all possible, if he can get out of trouble by just staying silent, he will. Tifa narrows her eyes at him as if she heard that thought.

“You’re in for it you know.”

He winces, “he’s awake.”

“Yeah and really worried about you, jerk,” She looks haunted. Cloud gets an itch behind his ear that she’s leaving out something important, “come on, he’s inside.”

He follows her, not wanting to, but also needing to. He’s so bad at feelings and talking.

He did it to himself. Somehow that makes it worse.

Everyone’s at the bar stools sitting a little too perfectly. Cloud eyes them.

He doesn’t see Zack. Tifa nods towards the pinball machine.

“He’ll kill me down there.” Cloud blurts out. He’s going to blame it on being tired later. Really it's fear.

What if Zack hates him now? He took his sword, _his buster sword._

After everything Zack’s done for him. He feels nauseous. Maybe if he throws up some mako he can just go hide at the apartment. Tifa just gives him sad eyes and pats his arm. That’s not reassuring at all.

It’s slow going down. Cloud appreciates no one watching him descend to his death.

He hears Zack before he sees him. Deep heavy breaths and grunts, followed by quick, rapid punches against leather and sand. Sounds like the punching bag is losing. Cloud feels worse when he can see him. Zack’s in Tifa’s corner, shredding up her red punching bag with his bare hands. His shoulders are wide and rigid, tenser than Cloud has ever seen.

He’s never seen Zack mad. Not like this. There’s a rage in his body’s movements that makes Cloud want to run. Reminds him of silver.

Very carefully, Cloud puts the buster sword against the wall next to the entrance elevator. Zack knows he’s here. It’s impossible to not hear the elevator come down, it's so old and loud. The first step toward him Zack stops. He doesn’t turn around.

“Have fun?” Zack’s voice is biting and rough. Sounds like a whole other person.

Cloud looks down. He’s bad at this. He can feel his mind shutting off. It’s suddenly hard to remember what he even did the other day.

“No.”

Zack’s laugh sounds hollow, “Just… a reactor, really Cloud?”

“I…I didn’t know.”

That was the wrong answer. Zack whips around at him, eyes blazing. It’s startling.

“What do you know, huh?”

Nothing. He can’t remember anything.

It stings.

Cloud falters back, Zack strides toward him. Backs him into a wall eventually. He can’t look up at him.

“It’s ShinRa, Cloud. Fucking ShinRa. You wanna get caught huh, get back in a mako tank that bad? The hell is fucking wrong with you, are you insane?” He’s nearly shouting at the end, breathing heavy, vibrating in the large room. Zack’s so close; Cloud can’t see his face, eye level with his clavicle.

He is. He is insane. He can’t remember anything.

He’s got a head full of static.

“I…” he doesn’t know how do this, “I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

He wishes he did.

Zack lets out a wounded noise; stumbles back a step as if Cloud had punched him.

The look in his eyes is worse than his words. Cloud can see his hands shaking, the regret rolling off him.

Maybe…

Cloud just hasn’t noticed. Zack’s struggling.

Come on, then. _Don’t be a jerk._ He can hear Tifa’s voice scowling at him.

He’s not really mad at him then. Maybe, he’s just as lost as he is. Cloud doesn’t know how to make this better.

The silence is heavy between them. He doesn't know how to break it.

Cloud can’t leave it like this. Zack’s always the one fixing everything. He always knows what to say. He can make him laugh...Cloud never feels like laughing.

Butterflies, why now…

He knows, he just ignores it like everything else. Except he can’t do that this time.

No more ignoring. Not with Zack. He’s given Cloud everything he’s got left, losing everything along the way.

_‘Going through hell together’_

Those stupid tender looks.

_‘He’s just worried about you’_

He really is a jerk.

Cloud curls his fists, swiftly steps into Zack’s space, grabs each harness strap, and yanks down, surging up onto the pads of his feet.

Their lips crash together, hard. Zack grunts in bewilderment, freezing against him. Cloud has no idea what he’s doing, but all those looks Zack’s been giving him can’t be wrong, right? He can't be _that_ bad at reading people. He just grips the leather straps harder, pulls Zack in tight. He’s never kissed anyone. Has he? Maybe, like fucking everything, he can’t remember.

He feels that unsure cold trickle against his neck, maybe he is that shitty at reading people-

And then Zack makes this sound, deep and vibrating, desperate as if Cloud is disappearing into the air. It makes the butterflies in Cloud’s stomach almost painful.

Zack’s hands surge up to cup Cloud’s jaw, thumbs pressing in, feels like they’re trying to become part of his skin. He tilts his head just slightly and _there._ Cloud let's out a hushed moan, Zack's leather straps are cutting into his hands. His lips are a bruising force, sliding roughly against his own. Fast little nips and tugs. It’s almost burning, fighting with him. Zack’s pressing so hard on him, pushes him back against the wall, and presses the length of his body against Cloud. It’s all tough and bruising and just a slight too much. There’s a surge in the air and Cloud feels black spots behind his eyes, a hard pull of his bottom lip in Zack’s teeth and they break apart.

Zack’s gasping for air, so close Cloud can see the mako crystals in his sky color eyes. Zack grunts as if the wind was knocked from him and curls down over Cloud, he presses his forehead tightly against Clouds, slides his hands down to grasp his neck, thumbs pressing painfully into the space at his jaw and ear meet.

There’s static in his head, but no pain. It's quiet, white noise. He feels a rush of rage, so intense he almost can’t breathe. Rage that’s not his. It falls away, and a warm, deep feeling of relief settles. It pulls tears to Cloud’s eyes.

And then Zack goes soft around him, eases his grip, rests his body against him rather than pushing. Cloud opens his eyes to look into Zack’s. Hits his butterflies so hard, Cloud’s heart thumps painfully.

Zack’s got that tender look on his face again, softens the sharp angles of his face. His eyes are bright, pupils blown out and a lazy, sad smile spreads on his face.

His hands slide along Cloud’s face, along his jaw, gently this time, so feather-light it almost tickles. One of those dumb tears falls from the corner of his eye. Zack sweeps it away so tenderly and leans in, pressing lips against the front of his cheek, brushing slow until he meets his lips.

It’s not bruising this time. It’s the exact opposite, giving Cloud’s head a spin. A slow, wet drag, gently pushing between Cloud’s lips with his tongue. It’s warm and Zack lifts his jaw higher. One of his hands sliding around the base of his neck, cradling him as if he’ll break. It’s too sweet and Cloud can’t stop his eyes from tearing. Too many slow, lazy lip slides, too gentle nips.

It's contrasting and intense and Cloud feels his arms shake. He doesn’t deserve it.

When they break apart, it's Zack pulling away, slow and sweet. He doesn’t go far, just rests against him.

Cloud’s too afraid to say anything.

“I think I broke Tifa’s punching bag,” Zack mumbles into his neck.

Cloud has to strain a little to look around Zack’s shoulders, sure enough, a sad pile of sand and shredded leather in a heap.

It’s fucking hilarious.

***

Gives him pins and needles, always pins and needles in his lungs. That laugh.

Fuck, Zack loves Cloud’s laugh. It’s so warm and everything he doesn't want the world to see. He rises from his resting spot in Cloud’s neck.

That damn three AM smile Zack’s been trying for all week is blinding. This time, he does trace after it, with his lips. He’s already addicted. The little inhale Cloud does just before their lips touch sends tingles all over his body. Gives his heart a crack too, as if Cloud doesn’t expect to be treated gently.

Fuck, he feels even worse now. He shouldn’t have lost it. Just…with everything building up and the weird-ass vision, that horrible rage. It's not him, he doesn’t know where it came from and it just snowballed with his anger that Cloud just left.

Nah not anger, he got scared. Zack hates being scared, he’s never scared. Almost like he’s never angry.

But if he lost Cloud now…

 _Co-dependent._ That’s for sure. He’s been treating Cloud too cautiously. Get back to being equals, he's got to get there. Zack’s gotta chill, not let fear muddy what he knows. That static however, he’s got a terrible hunch in his chest about it and doesn't really want to take a peek. He'll have too, soon.

Right now though, he’s got Cloud on his lips and in his hands. Feels right to slide his palm down his neck and over his shoulders. Cloud’s clumsy at kissing, unsure every time Zack goes in for another one, slow to respond and backs off early. That's okay, Zack will chase after him. He'll _always_ chase after him.

He’s probably never kissed anyone before. Oh shit, he pulls away.

Cloud’s lashes are fluttering against his cheeks; he lingers in a half state of distant like he hasn’t realized Zack’s stopped kissing him. It's fucking adorable.

“Come on,” Zack presses his jaw against Cloud’s forehead, “you’re probably dead on your feet.”

“Zack.” Those eyes, “I’m sorry.” They’re so _damn_ sweet.

He shouldn’t be sorry, he did well, Zack's proud now that Cloud's safely back. No scratches on him, everyone came back the same way. Maybe about the sword though, Zack’s still annoyed about that, just a tiny bit.

“Hey” he pushes Cloud’s chin up, playfully, “just don’t steal the sword next time. ”

Damn, lucky him, another three AM smile.

***

It’s hilarious how everyone thinks they are being subtle, lined up on the bar stools, sitting perfectly, looking at the TV. It's not even on. Tifa's doing her best to wash the two dirty glasses over and over. Zack doesn’t see Barret, good he’s got enough of that guy for a while, but he’s probably upstairs with that little girl. Tifa mentioned she was his daughter. He winces, he still feels like complete shit about that.

“Okay, we can all relax now, I didn’t kill him,” Zack says.

The guys visibly exhale. Jessie laughs hesitantly, “Does that me I’m off the hook too?” He’s got to give her credit; she’s got the best fake sad eyes he’s seen.

“Oh, so you’re the one that roped him into it,” he leans into her space when he gets to the counter, taking note that Cloud dreamily follows him, sitting down on a stool and just stares into space past Tifa’s shoulder. Fucking, cute.

“I did not, he just showed up,”

“Right.”

“Uh, Cloud? Hello, a little backup?” she leans around Zack, pouting, “tell him you jumped us.”

“Hmm,” Cloud’s not kicked from his daze at all. Sleepily maybe- nope, no, that tiny lip bite tells Zack otherwise.

This is going to be so hard for Zack. Literally. Like he didn’t get distracted enough with normal things.

“Hell-o” Jessie even waves a bit at Cloud, nothing. She smirks up at Zack, “what did you do to him?”

“N-nothing, He’s just tired,” being alone with Cloud right now would be much better. Should have stayed down in the gym, “we’re going to bed. So tired.” he fakes a yawn.

“Hold on,” Tifa doesn’t even wait for Zack to look up at her, just tosses a balled-up apron at him, “you’re going to come back for a night shift.”

What… “Uh, I don’t think so,” he’s going to spend all day with Cloud. Alone. Doing...things.

Jessie’s gotten off her stool to peer closer at Cloud, even risks poking him in the cheek. Seems to snap him out of it a bit more. She's still got her finger, so not he's not pulled from his daze completely. 

“I think so; someone’s going to pay for my brand new punching bag.” How did she even know? They just came back up.

“I can just buy you a new one. Cloud just made a bunch of money.”

Biggs and Wedge snicker, they keep a watchful eye on Jessie, who is still poking at Cloud. It’s a big ego stroke for Zack that he’s still pretty dazed. Or maybe he really is just exhausted.

“Nope,” Tifa’s giving him her ‘no choice’ hot girl glare, “you’re paying for it with tip money, and tip money only.” She’s laughing at him, he knows it.

How did this happen? Slowly, Zack’s sure, both he and Cloud will just be Tifa’s pretty server boys that bring in all the girls. Zack’s noticed how much more traffic there is on days Cloud’s being forced into labor. He’s only going to get more jealous. He really needs to find a good weapon for Cloud. They could just ditch and be mercs in another sector, no waiter-ing required.

“Jessie, cut it out,” Cloud is near eye twitching-glare at this point.

Zack laughs, drags Jessie back to her seat with a "oop!"

They stay for breakfast with everyone, Tifa making sure Cloud gets first dibs on everything, for a 'job well done'.

No one says anything about the way they lean too long on each other, or when Zack threads his fingers through Cloud's hair when he starts to nod off.

The lost-in-panic buzz that's been in his mind since he first dragged Cloud out of that mako tank fades away and Zack feels something settle in his chest, like coming back home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys know what's very entertaining? Listening to the very dramatic remake version of one-winged angel and writing Zack and Cloud making out. Just a chorus screaming 'Sephiroth' over and over. XD
> 
> Thanks so much, don't forget to tell me what your fav. part was andddd, anyone know what's wrong with Zack? Hahah, I'm tying not to give it away too early. See ya in the next one. :)


	5. Shine Bright, Once More

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shopping and kisses and the universe shifting. huh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Um, I'm not sure what this is. Ha, a tiny amount of plot and a lot of fluff. Figured you guys could use a breather. Too many feelings, me too guys, me too. 
> 
> As usual, you guys are freaking A-mazing. I'm so touched you guys love it so far. Also, ya'lls are very smart, but I won't be telling any secrets yet! 
> 
> Happy reading!

A solution, in the shifting of the stars and the flow of Gaia herself. Not here, not this life.

She frowns, “I’m sorry,”

Not here, but…another time, alternative. She can see it in the lifestream-a cure-

_For JENOVA._

Not for them, their time has come and gone. Meteor-she feels it on the planet’s skin. The roaring is so very loud. Not even with the help of the lifestream. Not this time.

But finally the last _time._

She has found it. Hidden from _him_ even, away from the _silver._

If only…

“I’m so sorry, Cloud.”

…He didn’t have to suffer so much. The last time, this is the last time. She made sure it goes right.

“Say hi to Zack for me.”

A cure for JENOVA in the shifting of time and somewhere in the parallels, they all get to survive, together.

_Finally._

With her last strength, she chooses to save them somewhere else. A final push of knowledge and a special materia-

She finds herself.

Green eyes, “You’ll know the way.”

Meteor is hot on her skin.

***

He can’t believe it’s come to this. All those years of training, of hard work. Honor and discipline _wasted._

To be reduced, to _this._

“Oh cut the puppy eyes, drama queen,” Jessie’s grinning ear to ear, gives him a little kick in the leg, “I think table five needs some help.”

If someone snaps their fingers at him one _more_ time.

He’s blaming this on Cloud, this is entirely his fault. He’s rubbing off on him; Zack can’t remember the last time he’s been so irritated by strangers. He’s going to mass murder this whole place if someone whistles, snaps, or yells, ‘hey you,’ again. He also can’t believe Tifa’s sly enough to get him to actually do this. He still hasn’t made enough tips to get her a new punching bag.

Granted, he’s only done like two shifts and the bag she wants is not cheap. _Like at all._ He glances back at her. Tifa’s smiling innocently at him even gives him a little shoo.

He’s never teasing Cloud about this ever again. He’s also seriously buying him a weapon tomorrow.

“Zack, table five,” Tifa calls over a particularly loud chorus of cheers from the far corner. At least it’s looking like this will be the last time he has to do this. It's more packed than last Saturday night and it’s just the start of the evening.

He moseys over to the table, a group of young girls and they have that look in their eyes and giggles in their mouths. Score, big tip group then. He’s good at faking it at least, so he guesses Cloud’s not rubbing off on him that much. Just gotta flirt a little and flash his brightest smile. Easy money. This way, he can keep sneaking ginger ales to Cloud for free. Every hour or so, he’ll notice the bottles are almost empty and drop a new one-off, glaring at Jessie and Wedge to say anything.

Tifa’s probably already noticed him doing it.

He’s also a hundred percent sure she’s letting him because she’s a total softie for Cloud. And Cloud could use ginger. After the reactor bombing, when they went back to the apartment, Zack was fully prepared to shove Cloud against the door and shove his tongue down his throat. Turns out the second they stepped in, Cloud went all pale and shaky and spent the whole night throwing up mako every hour. He’s been pretty off and on with the mako nausea for three days now. So far, only once this morning and Zack is going to keep it that way.

Just another thing he’s got to look into. He’s not sure how though, he’s starting to see his only option for answers is sneaking into ShinRa. That’s the worst idea he’s ever had but…

The static thing was just too creepy. He should probably ask Cloud if he gets it too before he makes up his mind. He looks out for it, the look Tifa said they both get. All glossy-eyed and far off. Cloud looks like that for half the day normally _so_ , makes it a little harder.

Like right now, just staring in-between Jessie and Biggs.

He’s also low on ginger ale again. Zack flashes his table a charming smile and doubles back around to the bar. Grabs the tray full of food for his _other_ table, sneaking a ginger ale on the way back out. He stops next to Cloud first, sliding the bottle down, and taking the time to reach out, brush his knuckles along Cloud’s cheek. He can’t linger much longer. Cold food makes for no tips, so he just wanders away and makes his rounds. He can feel Cloud’s eyes on him every so often though. Every time they linger longer, he can’t resist staring back, so he visits his tables facing Cloud the most often.

He takes two whole tables worth of orders wrong, in a row. Shit. Cloud’s just so distracting. He’s all sleepy and his hair’s extra fluffy and shiny from the amount of showers he’s been taking, trying to rid the minty mako. Also, every time Cloud takes a swig of his ginger ale, the way he pushes the bottle against lips, the slide of his throat.

Zack needs to do some push-ups, or squats, or _something_. Kill some fiends.

Or _not_ spill the water on Tifa’s costumers, shit. He feels a break coming up soon.

Cloud’s eyes are on him again, when he catches them, Cloud tilts his head ever so slightly to the hallway on the left side of the bar. Table five is having an issue. He’s gotta deal with that, first. Cloud’s not in his seat when he gets a chance to look back up.

“I’m going on break,” Zack’s untying his apron before Tifa can even agree and rounding down the hallway, the squeaky stairs and into the supply room.

“Clo-mph!” he’s totally bull rushed. Cloud’s grabbing his collar and pulling him down to meet his lips with force.

Yeah, this is good, Zack’s on board with this.

Cloud is small, but freakin' strong, takes a lot to be able to toss Zack around. Not that he wouldn’t let Cloud, but still, it’s fucking hot. He’s shoving Zack back against a stack of beer crates. Vaguely he hears them all rattle together, but whatever. Cloud’s got his tongue in his mouth, who cares about anything else.

For initiating so strongly, he still backs off too quickly. Zack’s just getting into the tingly pressure when Cloud’s pulling back, sinking back onto his heels.

“Nope-” Zack grabs at Cloud’s collar this time, pulls him right into his chest and between his legs, bends his knees a bit so he can reach Cloud’s lips.

He’s gentler, Cloud's in a rush a lot, maybe because he is new to this. Zack lets go of his collar, rubs circles on his chest, gets his hands skimming around his hips so he can hold him against him. He locks his thighs, trapping Cloud in the space of his legs, keeps him where he wants.

And he wants him, _bad._

They should probably not be doing this here, but Cloud gives him a little “ah” trapped in a gasp, and Zack’s pushing him back this time. Half tripping on their way to the wall, and falling against it. Zack likes to nip at his lips, his skin colors easy and all the blood rushing to the irritated flesh makes Cloud's lips so soft. Nosing down his jaw, he gets to that spot, just under his chin, by the dip in Cloud’s tendon; Zack can’t get at it very well unless Cloud’s head tilts back. He does, Cloud’s quick on that uptake, opening up his body to Zack at the slightest touches.

Makes Zack desperate for what Cloud’s like when they get to more.

He’s just setting in a nice bruise and has Cloud gasping a little quicker when there are light footsteps outside. The staircase is short, so Zack just crushes Cloud to the wall, letting him hide his face in his shoulder. The door pulls open just as Cloud curls in, hands flat on Zack’s chest, tucked in, and trying to stay out of sight.

Not that Zack can hide him completely, Zack’s tall and broad-shouldered sure, but Cloud’s hair still peeks out, the pale blonde, even in a dim room, it’s hard to miss.

Zack hears a small, low chuckle, at least Cloud’s not embarrassed.

“I see you two back there,” Tifa’s politely not looking at them, picking up a beer crate, “how about you stop distracting my free labor, Cloud.” A gasp, He _knew_ it.

She doesn’t hang around, but leaving the door open as she heads back up is a clear ‘get back to work’ at Zack. He feels Cloud’s smirk grow against his shoulder-

“Trying to get me in trouble?”

“Hmm,” Cloud reaches up, grabs the back of his neck and gives him a deep searing kiss, smirking up at him through his lashes, “maybe I just like you in an apron.” He mutters, not without a blush on his cheeks.

Fucking- what a little _shit_. A seriously hot, flirty, where did this random confidence come from-little _shit._

Cloud’s climbing back up the staircase before Zack can even process-just leaving him there, staring dumbly at the wall. How’s he supposed to pay Tifa back now, knowing Cloud’s sitting out there all…being a tease.

Zack thwacks his head against the wall with a dopey smile before heading back up. What a little shit.

It’s the best, he loves it.

Jessie and Biggs keep smirking at him the rest of the night, keep waving him over to ‘order’ something just so Cloud will go all still and pretend to not feel the heat on his face. Evil, they are so so evil. Every time he walks away he hears all three of them teasing and cooing at Cloud. They will be dead if they don’t knock it off. Zack's not even going to try and help them. Still, it's pretty flattering knowing Cloud's all hot and bothered by him. 

It’s a weeknight, so the crowds disperse around eleven, which is great, he's not tired, just bored. Keeping up with his tables quickly became mundane and once you give people their food, they don't really want anything to do with you. Plus, now he's got time to make his hot and bothered blonde even more hot and bothered; fun. Zack slides right down next to Cloud, pressing up against his side with a loud, exaggerated sigh. Cloud’s sweet enough to let him slouch down and rest his head on his shoulder and his hand on his thigh, which he slowly slides in and back every once and awhile. Cloud doesn't even flinch.

Since he's so distracted by Cloud, it takes him a minute to notice the frustrated expressions and tired air surrounding the table. There’s a bunch of schematics spread all over the table, Zack stops himself from frowning, looks like reactor blueprints. Jessie keeps huffing and flipping through her little notebook.

“Ugh,” she throws it down, “I just can’t figure it out.”

“Let it go, Jessie, you didn’t mess up, it was just an accident.”

“You said it was the mako,” Cloud says.

“No…just wishful thinking. I’m sure it was something I did.”

Zack’s not too keen on discussing Avalanche stuff, but, “what about the mako?” he asks.

Jessie sighs, “the explosion…it was _way_ too massive. But I can’t figure it out; it should have just taken out the reactor’s main room, not the whole sector.”

“It’s not the mako, then,” the news has been non-stop hounding Avalanche for four days, but ShinRa…they play dirty. They don't know what they are getting into, going up against ShinRa like this. Being sneaky with ShinRa just means you'll get burned back.

“How do you know?” Biggs asks.

“Mako doesn’t react like that. It’s lifestream, doesn’t react with chemicals normally. Organic matter sure, but not altered to such a degree and not an explosion.”

“So, what then?” Wedge says, “it _was_ Jessie’s bomb?”

“Maybe ShinRa did it.” He says.

“What do you mean, why would ShinRa blow up their own sector?”

Cloud stiffens and Zack knows they are both thinking the same thing. Once, a long time ago, Zack had that innocent outlook. ShinRa wouldn’t hurt their own. They won the war, they were fighting the good fight. One the contrary, that’s all they do, hurt their own if it gets them what they want. Power.

Zack doesn’t like that he’s finally starting to understand what Angeal meant, why Genesis went rouge. He thought…at first they just had the wrong outlook, but…they were right. ShinRa made monsters out of them, not for the reasons they thought, but monsters all the same. Zack tries to ignore the disappointment in his chest, he fought against that for so long. ShinRa wouldn’t do that, wouldn’t do such horrible things. Naive.

After Sephiroth. He doesn’t condone it, but he understands a bit…at least understands how he could go insane from it.

But to…what, wish destruction on the world? Kill a whole innocent town. They weren’t even ShinRa. At least…at least Genesis just wanted to live. Angeal…Ugh, his head hurts. He’s not cut out for this stuff. But…maybe that’s what went wrong. ShinRa made him a SOLDIER, a fighter and a fighter only.

That revenge Angeal talked about...wasn’t starting to sound so bad anymore.

“-you don’t know ShinRa-,”

“-you don’t know ShinRa-”

Both he and Cloud say together. There’s a sadness hanging in the air after.

“Well,” Jessie says, “I still want to dial it down. Try a different bomb. Just in case.”

“So you _are_ going to blow up another one.” Zack doesn’t like it.

All three of them wince.

“We know,” Biggs says, pausing as a group of customers gets a little close, “it’s extreme, but. You see it don’t you-”

The planet, a wasteland.

“-Everything’s dying.” Wedge finishes for Biggs. They think everything’s dying _here_. They haven’t seen outside Midgar in a long time then. It's just desert for miles and miles. And on the edges of land, the only green left is slowly fading away too.

Zack sits up from Cloud’s shoulder, shrugging, “maybe it’s something else killing the planet.” He regrets saying it, gives himself a weird shutter, an oddity lingering on his tongue.

Cloud gasps and goes completely ridge next to him.

That look, the one Tifa said.

It’s that look-

He’s hunched over, gritting his teeth and trembling.

“Cloud,” Jessie leans forward, brows raised in concern, “what’s wrong?”

Static? Zack can’t hear it, doesn’t feel it.

For one moment-one split second- when Cloud glances over at him, his eyes change. All green and slit- pupil. _Sephiroth’s._

He shuts them tight, probably in a wave of pain, and then they are fine. Back to his normal blue. His body relaxes and he quiets.

“…I’m fine.” He says.

None of them believe him.

Tifa’s right, yet again. Zack can’t believe he didn’t notice before. Has Cloud been getting static since…since he snapped out of comatose? He's been thinking so much of his pain is from the mako poisoning. Zack really wishes it was answers he was realizing, not more questions.

Tip of the iceberg, he’s sure.

“Well…it doesn’t matter if it was the mako or not,” Jessie eyes Cloud, but keeps talking, “I still need to redesign the bomb. But since I can’t get to my suppliers up top with all the changes, mmm.” She trails off.

“Could try your luck in Wall Market,” Wedges suggests.

Zack probably shouldn’t offer but, “we’re going tomorrow morning if you wanna tag along.”

Cloud tilts his head at him, “we are…” it’s supposed to be a question.

Zack leans in close, “Sure thing, weapons shop here just doesn’t have what you need.”

There we go. Cloud’s eyes light up and the lingering pain from –whatever static thing- fades completely.

When he looks to the trio for confirmation, all three of them have big-cheesy grins on their faces.

“You sure we won’t be third-wheeling?” Biggs teases, more at Cloud then Zack.

“Not at all, besides, Tifa’s punching bag is all the way over there. No _way_ am I doing another hell shift of this. You guys can help carry it back.”

He gets a chorus of loud fake-complaining groans from all three of them. Wedge falls dramatically onto the table, Biggs throws his hands up in the air too enthusiastically and Jessie gives him her best doe eyes yet. Bunch of chumps.

He gives them the laugh they are looking for and they get Cloud’s rare one too.

***

Cloud’s real quiet when they get back to the apartment. Zack wants to ask about the static, but then he’ll have to tell Cloud that it’s happened to him too and then he’ll get that sad look, the one where he’s frustrated that he still can’t remember much.

Like the one he’s giving Zack right now, damnit.

“Hey…”

He’s got no words so he goes in for a kiss instead. Glides his hands slowly up Cloud’s neck to the back of his head, thumbs brushing against his ears. He has to lean down to get at Cloud’s lips; his head’s tilted too low. Cloud’s got a solid grip on his forearms. He lingers just before pressing in, looking into Cloud's blue beauties closely. He wishes Cloud would tell him what gives him that sorrowful look. Zack makes sure to be delicate, an easy long pressure. Pulling back, Cloud's eyes are all dark.

He only meant it as a comfort, going for slow and gentle, but the air is charged around them, and Cloud’s rushing back in. It’s a wet, hot kiss, too much tongue and gasping. Zack can’t keep anything sweet if Cloud’s going to be doing this every time.

Zack knows he’s hands-y, and that Cloud doesn’t particularly like a lot of touching, but _fuck_. All the breathlessness he gets from him when he’s sliding his hands over his rib cage, dipping in his lower back. He walks Cloud to the bed, slipping lips and hot air with every step.

He doesn’t shove him, Cloud goes easily, leaning back on his forearms and looks up at Zack with heavy breaths. He stares down at him, just for a moment. Zack wants to spend hours just touching him, not kissing even. Just…tracing his skin, figuring him out.

Before Zack can bend down, getting a knee fully on the bed, Cloud lowers farther, letting his thighs fall open. Like before, Cloud's just so eager to open his body for him. Ugh, it's fucking adorable and _hot._

Zack settles down on him, hips pressing in on Cloud’s muscled thighs. Even through his clothes, Zack can tell the difference from before. Nearly three weeks. That’s all they’ve been here and no one could tell Cloud was barely a person for half of it. SOLDIER enchantments really do work fast. He leans in for a small lip tug, hands roaming all over Cloud’s legs, he lifts him gently; hands under his thighs. Tugs him toward him, down a little, so Zack can lean over him and rock down with his hips. Cloud gasps with wide eyes, and falls all the way back, clutching onto Zack’s biceps for leverage. Even a better angle, he can lift his legs up a bit higher. It lets Zack in even more. Cloud's hard, he can feel him through his pants. Zack rolls down into Cloud with slow, long movements. He does so multiple times, pressing his temple against Cloud's and just relishes in the quiet inhales he gets. Cloud keeps looking away from his gaze, so Zack's got to pull him back in with small kisses. He wants to watch Cloud's face, see the pleasure in his eyes.

Cloud is pretty quiet, for all the moans and groans he lets out; they are always nearly lost in a breath. Zack wants to make him scream.

But, that won’t be tonight. He’s pretty sure Cloud’s never had sex. And even if he had, it’s his first time with Zack. Zack wants to do it right. He needs lube for one and he wants to take Cloud apart so completely, make sure it’s so good for him.

This is fine for now, Zack’s in no rush. He doesn’t even need to be undressed; he just wants to be close to Cloud. He watches him closely in-between kisses, how he bites his lip when Zack drags his hips back just a little slower, or how his face is slowly losing its guard, melting down into a soft expression.

When Zack picks up his thrusting, Cloud curls in close, clinging tight to his arms and shoving his face into the triangle of Zack’s neck and shoulder. Zack’s got one hand sliding over his clothed stomach, testing to see if he can dip under his waistband, but with a particular fast and rough hip roll, Cloud goes all ridged, arching into him, breath stuck in his lungs.

Holy shit, Zack stills, a little surprised how sensitive Cloud is. There was no bare skin touching except their arms and lips. Fuck, if he can make Cloud come like this….

Cloud finally relaxes, panting small gasps of air. He’s still got a good grip on Zack’s biceps.

“Sorry,” he mumbles, his voice is low and raspy.

Fucking, Zack’s _not_. So hot. He doesn’t even care about himself, honestly, he’s touched that Cloud is so quickly letting his guard down around him, letting himself be vulnerable with Zack. He sees how Cloud backs away from touches, even from Tifa. Sometimes even from him. He’s completely taken with Cloud, but he always thought it would be a long road, at least with the touching. _Definitely_ with the talking.

Now that Zack thinks on it, Cloud has been less reserved, in general.

Zack chuckles, pulls Cloud back so he can look at his face, “don’t be.” He tells him and gives him a sweet kiss.

There will be other times. This time is just for Cloud.

***

Cloud and Zack are at Seventh Heaven before the sun can even peek out from the horizon. They’re waiting on Jessie, Biggs, and Wedge. It’s a longish walk to Wall Market, if Zack remembers correctly. About an hour and a half-maybe two. He’s guessing it’ll take the longer time, with the number of people they are going with and it’s not a completely safe road. Usually, the fiends tend to stay back in the wreckage and ruins, but every once and a while one comes wandering onto the main path.

It’s why they are fully armored up in their uniforms. Zack honestly doesn’t know why they keep wearing them, habit maybe. It just draws attention to themselves. Zack's starting to see he's not very good at being on the run.

Cloud certainly looks good in it though, shows off his shoulders nicely. The high collar frames his jaw.

Its…yeah- distracting. What else is new?

Tifa’s not awake, but Barret does come stomping down sleepily, takes one look at them, and grunts before disappearing down into the Avalanche space. He shares an amused look with Cloud.

Zack’s cleaning his buster while they wait. There are chunks of monster blood still near the handle. He slips in the shield materia Jessie had given him awhile back. It shines nicely with his healing one. Zack had missed having it, it’s not the same one from Angeal, but...

He’s gonna pretend it is.

Cloud’s sitting pretty on the actual bar counter, Tifa would be smacking him if she saw, his boots up on a stool. He’s pouting, Zack can tell.

“Alright, what?”

Cloud huffs at him, “you’re the only one with a weapon.”

“Jessie and Biggs carry small pistols I think.”

“I mean. What am I supposed to do?”

Oh, that’s right. Zack fishes around in his pockets, pulling out a blue, tingling materia.

“I was gonna wait till you actually have a sword, but, I know those wrist guards have materia holes.”

“Lightning?” Cloud takes it, turning it over a few times before slipping it into one of the slots on his left wrist.

Zack grins, “Yeah cause you’re a little thunder cloud.”

Oh, the glare he gets for that. He hasn’t seen that kind of hatred directed at him in weeks.

“Do not start calling me that.” O-h, he even gets the tough guy voice.

“Call you what?” Jessie asks, full of energy and ready to go. She's got a bag with her and her normal red bandana is missing. She seems younger without it. Biggs and Wedge drag along behind her, matching yawns, and little cups of coffee. Smells a little burnt.

“Nothing.” Cloud jumps down, he eyes Zack with his grin, “don’t.”

“I’m didn’t say anything.”

“Mmph.”

“So,” Jessie’s failing to not laugh at them, “we heading out? Oh! Here,” she pulls the large backpack off her shoulder, “for whatever you guys buy. Wall Market is hard to leave without a ton of shiny new stuff.”

Cloud takes it, seeing as it will get in the way of Zack’s buster.

“What are you gonna use?”

Jessie spins and finger guns Biggs and Wedge, “those losers.”

“-hey-”

“-rude-”

Cloud’s shoulders shake with his held in chuckle.

Jessie gasps, “aw, a smile this early for me?”

Cloud doesn’t even shy away, just ‘mmphs’ at her.

They head out in the dark, Zack and Cloud walking behind them, better if something jumps out. At least if it’s at the front, all five of them will see it. Zack's really doubting how much the three of them are fighters. He's honestly surprised they are in a resistance group. Maybe he should get them to come to training a few times a week. They'd be safer off anyway. Cloud seems eager for a fight, Zack doesn’t blame him, he is too. His last merc job wasn’t at all satisfying, too easy. He needs a good tough fiend to dig his sword into, really let loose.

He hopes it is on the way back though when Cloud’s got his own sword and not just the materia. He wants to see Cloud in action. They’ve still kept up with training, but they don’t train outside for the off chance a fiend catches them. That will change after today too. With both of them armed, it won't really matter if they get attacked or not. Zack's getting all hyped just thinking about it.

At least Tifa will be happy to have her gym back.

It’s a quiet walk for the first half-hour, everyone still a bit sleepy in the dark. Jessie seems to perk up even more once the morning light falls over the wall and onto the pathway. She’s chattering away about stopping at a breakfast place once they get there, which gets Wedge started. And then it’s just a bunch of arguing about what place has better food and all of it is making Zack super hungry. He’s got Cloud looking all pretty in the morning light to keep his mind off it.

The sun’s still shining low in their eyes when they get there. They meet a few people on the path in and it quickly becomes a crowd once they get towards the center of town. People just starting to venture out, but it's still packed. All the restaurants are open already, a few stores too, slow for slum 6. It's slightly overwhelming at first, it's not lost on him when Cloud steps closer, already glaring at the couples pushing close and rushing by.

Jessie slows to grab both Zack and Cloud’s arm, “this way,” she drags them down a particularly good-smelling side street, “don’t think you can just run away from us now that we are here.” She's yanking more on Cloud's arm, so Zack assumes she's really talking to him. Ha.

Biggs is laughing ahead of them, “yeah, gotta keep up a buddy system.”

“I don’t need a buddy,” Cloud says.

“I think you need it the most,” Wedge counters, “so you’re stuck with us.”

“Yep,” Jessie pops the p loudly, “you’re the little runaway.”

Cloud very pointedly does not look at Zack.

They stop for breakfast at a tiny hole in the wall, more so than the rest of the slums. They have two bench tables out in the alley, all crammed together. It’s a tight fit, so Zack sticks Cloud up against the wall so he won’t have to suffer sitting next to Jessie and her constant poking, which seems to be reserve behavior for Cloud only. It’s a Wutai style breakfast place. The spicy smells and fresh broth hits Zack in the chest with a hollow feeling he hasn’t gotten in a while.

It’s good food, almost as good as being in Wutai, it hits just the right spot. Zack gets his noodles extra spicy; Cloud does not, opting for a mild flavor. Must be those mountain town taste buds, all butter and sweet based. Zack thinks he saw a doughnut place while Jessie dragged them around, maybe when they break apart for a bit and it’s just the two of them. So he doesn’t get teased endlessly for a sweet tooth.

Zack pays for everyone, after a very intense staredown with Biggs, out of all of them, about it. Merc money isn’t often, for the type of jobs Zack wants, but it pays way more than whatever these three get up too. They mingle around out front for a bit, Jessie telling them where not to go and who will try to swindle them.

“Swindle, who’s going to swindle us, look at us.”

“Not everyone is aware of what a SOLDIER looks like. You people are like myths down here in the slums.” Biggs says.

“Yeah,” Wedge says, “ShinRa doesn’t bother with lowly crime here. Keeps all you cool ones to themselves up top.”

“Hell,” Jessie juts her hip at them, “I didn’t ever see one when I lived up with my parents. You’re a rare breed.”

“Okay, okay,” Zack laughs, hands up, “I concede. We’ll be careful.” He nudges Cloud.

“Yep.” Monotone as usual.

“Great, this is going to take a while, and it’s a big place. So wanna meet for lunch? Then all stay together till we head back?”

“Sounds good,” Zack says, Cloud shrugs, already looking confused by all the lights and small streets. Zack gets a foreboding feeling, Cloud hates crowds. They also hadn't talked about how his memory is doing in awhile. He's going to keep a close eye on him.

“Cool, meet at the shitty pizza place down from the HONEY BEE INN.”

They’re on their own then. They had sat and chatted for a while, so the weapons shop should be open. It’s more up the hill, if Zack remembers, near the giant gym, where he’s gotta pick up Tifa’s punching bag.

Last, that’s last.

Weapon first.

It’s a much bigger shop than the one in slum 7. The smell of stone and fiery sparks is very strong. They must make their own weapons here too. Good to know if he ever gets too careless and damages his buster. The shop’s got sections for each kind of weapon, so they head toward the back for the blades. It’s a lot of standardized weapons. Rows and rows of them. So many it's a bit hard to even pick one out without getting up close. There's a smaller row of a few trick weapons and then along the wall, random blades of all kinds. Cloud all but stops hard in front of Zack after pacing up and down a few rows. Zack crashes right into him. He's staring all the way down the row he is at.

In the back, hidden a bit on the wall, looking a little dusty, a long buster sword similar to Zack’s. It’s a little shorter, by an inch or so, but also a little wider, a nice rounded out angle toward the tip. There’s delicate, simple carvings around the handle and the more Zack looks at it, there seems to be a fitted in-slot running together down the center of the blade.

Cloud’s already at it and taking it down the wall, Zack resists laughing, he’s gotta get on his toes to reach it.

Cute.

When he brings it over, he sees what the slot is, it’s a second sword, small, fitted in, seems to be able to break apart into two lighter blades. Interesting choice. Cloud's certainly quick enough for duel weapons, Zack's never been able to pull them off.

“Good weight?” Zack asks. Cloud nods, backs up where the sword won’t accidentally hit anything, and gives it a few good swings. It seems to fit him well. Cloud’s all proper posture, with a strong energy that somehow screams power and a delicate grace all at once. He nods again, bringing the sword back in both hands. He stares down at it for a long time.

“That one huh? Don’t wanna keep looking?”

Cloud looks up at him as if he’s suddenly forgotten who he was. Which granted-probably not the best comparison, but it still makes Zack laugh.

“Alright, come one. Let’s see if they’ll clean it up and sharpen it for you.”

They do, they tell them it’ll take just under the hour. So they pay half the price upfront and wander over to the gym to set aside and pay for Tifa’s punching bag. There's a lot of massive guys working out, and also posing way too much in front of the mirror wall on the far side. It's weird. Zack gets slightly annoyed at all the flexing going on. They tell him to come pick it up before eight that evening. It’s a shorter exchange then he thought, so they walk around till Zack spots the doughnut shop, he nudges at Cloud.

“Wanna get a treat?”

His eyes widen a bit, and that embarrassed blush crosses his nose.

“It's fine.”

“No? Thought I remembered something about a sweet tooth with you.”

Ah, it’s all across his cheekbones now. Weird he’s being shy about it; it’s just Zack with him.

“…mom used to make them every weekend.” It’s a quiet admission and Zack feels a bit bad at the way Cloud’s eyes get all glossy.

He steps up into his space, “then…we should definitely get some.” Just a small press of his lips on Cloud’s hairline.

“Hm.”

There's a lot to choose from so Zack just gets a whole dozen for Tifa and the others when they get back, and then buys one each for them.

He feels a little bad, making Cloud sad, but he still buys him the bright pink one with sprinkles. He hates it so much, the cutest angry glare, barely holding onto the offending pastry. Zack laughs a little too long. Cloud eats the doughnut in less than a minute anyway, chases the sugar coating on his lips.

Ugh, backfiring, this is totally backfiring on Zack. He slings an arm around Cloud’s shoulders and steers them back to the weapon shop. At least he doesn’t have to see Cloud licking at his lips this way, but can still bask in his body heat.

Whatever memories Cloud is stuck in vanish when his sword is handed over. Zack pays up the rest and watches Cloud run his fingers over the blade, even gets a little jealous, he's practically manhandling it. It fits into the SOLDIER harness perfectly, clanking into place at a slight angle between Cloud’s shoulders. It's sexy. Zack should not be getting turned on by blades, but it's probably just cause it's Cloud.

“Finally, we’re twins now,” Zack says, ruffling Cloud’s hair.

Cloud doesn’t say anything, but he walks around in a happy daze. It gets busier with every step, the shops are overflowing with people. Cloud starts getting a bit annoyed so they don't go in any of them. Instead, just walking along the wider streets. When noon rolls around, they start looking for the pizza shop. Outside the Inn, Jessie had said.

The HONEY BEE INN, is already having a party out front. It’s always a little jarring coming to Wall Market after a while. He forgot how…scandalous it can be. He doesn’t miss the way Cloud fidgets uncomfortably and keeps his eyes to the street. Modesty Is a little weird for him to care about, or maybe he just doesn't want anyone to think he's staring. 

Jessie’s waving them down before they hit the actual corner of the Inn.

“Pizza?” She says, not really giving them a choice as she’s already returning to the table the guys are at. They set their weapons against the booth and slide in. It's very roomy, not like the Wutai place.

Wedge has a large bag similar to theirs, sitting pretty between him and Biggs. It looks brimming, unlike theirs. Zack's betting its mostly Avalanche supplies.

“Dang, you guys get everything you need?”

Biggs waggles his hand back and forth, “sort of, Jessie’s a little ticked. Somethings are almost price gauging down here.”

“Well it’s true!” she waves her arm a bit in irritation, “I could find them cheaper up top.”

“You mean, steal?” Wedge laughs.

“That too,” she hums to herself, “alright, since you mentioned it. That’s how I’ll get the blasting agent then.”

“Wait-, no I was kidding.”

“I’m not; I know where to get it too.”

Fortunately, their pizza arrives and they have to tone down all the stealing talk. Zack’s got a suspicion it’s from ShinRa. He feels his jaw tick in irritation when Jessie glances over at Cloud in thoughtfulness. He feels she’s going to be stealing him away for another night very soon. He steals a few pepperonis off her last slice for that. (“Hey!”)

“Speaking of steal,” Biggs says, “finally found the one huh,” gesturing to Cloud’s buster cradled up with Zack’s.

“O-h, I didn’t even notice,” Jessie’s leaning over to look at it better, as much as Biggs is letting her, “can I see how good you look using it?” she flirts with Cloud. She gets the blush she wants out of him.

They all awe over it too loudly, much to Cloud’s embarrassment before Zack diverts them to something else. There’s only so much teasing one can take and Cloud is probably maxed out for the whole week.

They spend longer at the pizza place than Zack wanted. He still needs to buy…personal things. Preferably without Cloud, he doesn’t really want to buy a ton of lube in front of him, screams ‘yeah, boy, get ready to be fucked’. Even though Cloud has been roaring to go on that front. Still, he doesn’t want him to feel pressured _so_. Preferably alone.

He also doesn’t really want to buy it with the rest of the group either, so when they have to go pick up Tifa’s punching bag, Zack waves them off, tells them he forgot to grab something at the weapons shop and skips off before Cloud can follow him. He goes for the apothecary and personal needs shop rather than the flashy “nighttime fun” place next to the HONEY BEE INN. He’s not looking for crazy, just for basics. This way he can pick up a bunch of ether too. They are rarer than rare in Slum 7 and Zack’s mana has been running on sleep restoration only since they got to Midgar.

The apothecary also has a bunch of nausea remedies, Zack buys the biggest bag of crystallized ginger they have along with a few simple glass tubes of lube. Way too many bottles of ether, one of which he downs immediately and there’s a sparkling healing materia shinning on the counter, which he buys too. Cloud should also learn healing if he’s planning on running around more ShinRa facilities. Which judging by the looks Jessie was giving him at lunch, he will be.

It all fits in the backpack snugly with the box of doughnuts. He doesn’t spend too much more time, just a quick glance if he’s missed anything, before heading back to the gym.

Wedge has the punching bag slung over his shoulder when he gets there; the four of them all huddled together. Surprising for Cloud, but it is getting a bit chilly in the evening. Jessie’s leaning on Cloud’s shoulder guard, spinning what looks like boxing gloves around by the string. Cloud’s eyeing her like he’s gonna just grab them at any moment.

They’ve probably already hit him.

“What’re the gloves for?”

“Yay, you're back. We were just about to leave your ass here.” She leans even more on Cloud, “right Cloud?”

“No.”

“Runaway with me Cloud," She leans dramatically backward, pretending to swoon, "leave your SOLDIER boy, I’ll treat you right,”

“Cut it out.”

Jessie just lands a dry smack on his cheek before dancing away from him.

“The gloves?” Zack laughs. He really does like her. 

Biggs shrugs, “Tifa’s been wearing out her pair for the last year now. Spends most of her money on bar upkeep.”

“She deserves it; I think we’ve been stressing her out a bit.” Wedge shifts the bag across his shoulders for a better grip.

“If we’re all ready to go.” Cloud nearly rolls his eyes out of his head. Must be getting tired.

The walk back is just as uneventful, but Jessie, Biggs, and Wedge huddle around them the whole time, occasionally bumping into one of them, probably more on purpose on Jessie’s part. It’s nice, a low chatter the whole way back and Biggs, Wedge, and Zack all take turns carrying the punching bag. (Cloud huffs at Zack’s complaints and puppy dog eyes, “you broke it, you carry it.”)

They do make it back before nightfall. It's even more jarring coming from a bustling place to a smaller, slow one.

Tifa's near shaking with excitement when Jessie hands her the new boxing gloves. He's never seen Tifa so happy, a bit like Cloud, she's usually softer and toned down. Huh, maybe that's another mountain town thing too. Barret's there, seemingly organizing a bunch of stuff in the back. Every time he comes back from upstairs with an arm full of stuff, he eyes Zack and Cloud.

Zack hangs up the punching bag right away, he can’t ever deny a cute girl's ‘pretty please’ eyes. Plus, he did rip the old one to shreds. And in reality, he owes Tifa way more than just a dumb punching bag. They only stay for a bit, Barret’s got an Avalanche meeting planned and he’s been grumbling about SOLDIER mutts hanging around the whole time.

There’s a softer tone in his growling, not by much but it's there. Zack wonders where that's coming from. He's also guessing Tifa didn't clue him in on that rage thing that happened. Not a word about his daughter or anything. Zack still feels pretty bad though.

Tifa fawns over Cloud with his own buster sword before they leave. It gives him that soft look in his eye. Zack doesn’t care how much Cloud denies it; he’s at least got a friend crush on her. It's harmless enough and super adorable when Tifa manages to pull him from his shell.

They leave the doughnuts in the fridge for tomorrow and say their goodnights, it was an early morning and Zack had kept Cloud up late before.

“So, Spikes” he drops his arm over Cloud’s shoulders, their swords clank loudly, “wanna quit the server business and be my merc-partner in crime?”

Cloud laughs, nice and easy, “Only if we split seventy-thirty.”

“ _Seventy-thirty_ , who do you think you're talking too?”

“Mmph, you’re right, make it eighty-twenty.”

He man-handles Cloud the rest of the way up their apartment stairs.

***

Somewhere, at the end of the world, Cloud lays pinned to the ground, his blood pooling out from around him; dying.

He’s dying, he failed.

There’s a roaring louder than any fire he’s been in.

It didn’t work then. He’s barely got enough strength left in him to open his eyes. All the noise is gone except for the roaring. Masamune, the blades all the way through him, cut down into the earth. When he shifts, he can feel the handle resting at his skin. Above, the wind is howling and fire is everywhere, a hole in the ozone, smells strong. Everything’s being pulled in, no more gravity.

Sephiroth in the middle, silver hair whipping wildly, his wing looking more and more mutated, feathers rapidly falling. Tight in his hand, a small black materia, gleaming with the galaxy inside.

He did what she said; they didn’t go to the ancient’s ruins. Cloud never found it.

Somehow Sephiroth got the black materia anyway. Another clone? No, he’s the only one left.

How did Sephiroth get it? She _said._

Something’s wrong with Sephiroth, his eyes raging. His veins are too visible in his skin, something…something inside them is moving, like little worms.

Cloud tries to move, maybe. Maybe he can still,

“Je-”

The sword is too painful, pinning him good.

“-nova.”

The wind is howling and the ozone cracks a little more.

Roaring, so much roaring. It’s here.

_Meteor._

It hurts to keep looking up.

Hurts more to drop his head and see Tifa laying next to him. She’s at a weird angle, her eyes open and blank. She’s got blood running all down the front of her face. Dead. She’s dead.

“T-ifa.”

Cloud can’t reach her.

There’s cold laughing, doesn’t sound human anymore. A weird scratch to it. Sounds alien.

He’s dying, vision going dark.

“No!” a rage, Sephiroth’s near panic screaming rage. Why…this is what he wanted, “No, not again, you little bitch.”

It’s all white-gold. Smell of flowers? He’s sorry, Aerith, sorry. He failed.

Cloud dies; among a golden light and Meteor crashing into Gaia.

Smells minty. Here comes the mako.

***

When he wakes everything’s fuzzy. There’s a quick pain in his brain, remembers Meteor crashing into Gaia, remembers Aerith dying. He’s sorry, Aerith, he couldn’t save her. Just a puppet to Sephiroth. Another pain, he’s sorry.

Why? Why is he sorry, he can’t remember.

It’s all gone, he can’t remember.

His vision comes into focus a bit more, rainy skies. Zack?

He’s walking away from him, Zack no, come back.

So many gunshots and then just the rain. He can move again, just barely, his legs aren't working.

Got to find Zack.

He’s lying on the ground, Cloud doesn’t understand. The rain is loud and so clear. Cloud tastes mint.

“Zack?”

There’s a lot of blood.

“The both…of…us-”

No, Cloud’s vision goes blurry again, eyes burning. No, why _now_. They were so close.

“You’ll live…for the both of us.”

The rain is heavy.

***

Zack wakes to Cloud heaving in the toilet room.

It’s the middle of the night and it’s cold, summer officially is gone, Zack's chill is from Cloud's missing form. He can see Cloud clear as day even through the dark. He’s hunched over and shaking. Still heaving up mako. It’s a little weird, Zack sees the glow from it sitting in the toilet.

He’s got ginger this time at least. Zack slips out of bed, feet cold on the concrete floor. The bag Jessie had given them for Wall Market is leaning on the chair at the table. Zack has to take out a few ethers and the lube to reach the large packet of ginger.

He fills one of the glasses Tifa left with water and quietly stands outside the open doorway.

Cloud’s still puking up all the mako left in the city. Zack winces, it’s just _so_ much. He’s waiting awhile, but Cloud eventually quiets. The toilet flushes and Cloud stumbles out like a zombie. Zack notices the dead look in his eyes, he's even sure Cloud's not aware of him standing there.

He’s pale and shaky, startles out of nowhere, and then glares at Zack with too bright mako eyes. Yep, did not see Zack at all. His eyes shouldn’t be glowing that much. Still got excess mako in his system then. It’s just so _odd_ ; it’s almost as if he keeps getting re-poisoned. Except there’s no mako around here. Well, Zack himself has got it, but not enough to do this.

Cloud brushes his teeth aggressively and keeps spitting over and over to rid the mint.

“Okay,” Zack says, “that’s not helping. Here, I got you ginger.”

Even with all the glowing, Zack can see Cloud’s eyes swimming with emotion. He doesn’t eat too many pieces, but he downs the whole glass, a little too quickly. They just stare at each other for a while. Zack laughs to himself, that’s all this apartment is for, sleeping, throwing up in and having emotionally charged staring contests.

Cloud will never go to him first; he only seeks comfort in Zack’s embrace when he’s sleeping. Zack’s gotta make the move. He’s fine with that.

“Come here,” Cloud goes immediately. Won’t ask for it, but he craves it. Zack can feel it in the way he pushes into his arms a little too roughly. They fall back onto the bed with a bounce, Cloud curling up on top of Zack, basically pins him, and smashes his face into his chest. Zack wraps his arms tightly around him and squeezes until Cloud lets out a little “eh” and smacks his shoulder.

He feels Cloud laugh soundlessly into his chest. Good.

He falls back asleep quickly.

***

Cloud doesn’t sleep for the rest of the night. He lies still on Zack, listening to his lungs breathe in strong, his heart thumping just shy too fast. So much energy even when he's asleep. He’s warm and surrounding him. Alive.

That dream, it happens more and more. Where Zack dies on that cliff. Cloud hates it, more than he hates not remembering. More than he hates ShinRa. It’s the same every time, the rain, the gunshots. All the blood. And every time he feels it more. The rain, cold on his skin, Zack's blood warm on his face. It lingers long after.

It leaves him hollow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah I lied, sorry, got a lot more feelings at the end there. Opps. LOL Anyway, get ready for the weird shit, it's coming up real soon. 
> 
> I promise, this is not turning into a restaurant AU. LOL Even though, could you imagine. They all work at Tifa's family business and Sephiroth's the boss they all hate, but he just wants to be friends with them, but he's so weird and kinda creepy. 
> 
> Also, my spell check on my laptop wants to always correct Sephiroth to stepbrother. HA. 
> 
> Thanks for reading! As always, let me know what you liked, even if a bunch of nothing happened in this chapter. :)
> 
> See ya


	6. I'm Sweet Enough

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cloud's accepting he's got friends? And he says fuck a lot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!  
> How's everyone doing? I actually promise this time, the feels don't get so dark in this one. But only for this one, you kids are in trouble coming up. 
> 
> As always, love all the love, thank you so much. 
> 
> Happy Reading!

It’s raining out in the desert. Cold and windy, a weird shadow falling vertical in the distance. Some of it falls through the plate, more so in other sectors. It’s barely a drizzle for them and the wind calmed to a slight breeze thanks to the wall. Zack misses real weather. Maybe, if he gets Cloud worked up enough, all that lightning from his materia he’s bound to use will make it feel like a real storm.

Maybe it’ll also set everything on fire. That could be fun. Or… _traumatizing._

“Hey,” Cloud snips, “ready?”

Right, right. They’re waiting for everyone else to show up, training day. First one in the junkyard. First one with Cloud’s fancy double sword. He talked the trio into coming to learn just a few basics, he insisted. Going against ShinRa without more combat knowledge other than a gun and whatever they "learned" in the war, is just stupid. Tifa said she'd be tagging along as well, which might actually work out. She seems to be able to handle herself, and her materia skills are on par with his own. Now he’s just gotta get Cloud’s up there too.

Feeling the mana pull in his veins, traveling hot down his arms and into his hands, he casts SHIELD on himself and Cloud.

“First one out of mana and/or break the shield wins, got it Spikes?”

Cloud nods, slips his right foot out to a wider stance, and grips his brand new shiny sword. It’s so similar to Zack’s, but it’s certainly not a buster sword. Upon looking closer at it, seems there are even more slots to it. Zack can’t possibly image fighting with more than two blades. In any case, it didn’t come with any more blades, so Cloud is stuck with the two.

He’s only using it as one at the moment. Zack looks for any sign of hesitation; it’s not there at all. He’s staring him down with wild deep eyes, glowing a bit in the rainy ‘storm’. Perfect posture, hard and strong.

More like super fucking hot, but if Zack keeps thinking that, he’ll for sure lose this warmup.

_Lack of focus Zack._

Ugh, he wishes Angeal would stop popping in his head.

“Zack,” Cloud calls. Right, sparring, they are sparring.

Zack draws his own buster, the relief immediately taking hold on him. He’ll have to hold back a bit, he’s got no idea what Cloud can do. That’s not true, he has a small idea, but he doesn’t know his maximum, so easy going it is.

Cloud moves first, straight out the gate, speedster jump right at him. Rushing right in. Reminds him of his kisses.

Seriously, gotta stop that.

It’s easy enough to block, Zack can see his moves one step ahead of time. Just the basics for now then.

He’s a fast little spark. His moves are pretty basic sure, but soon Zack’s having a hard time keeping up with his speed. He’s probably missing half of his jumps as he zips around the junkyard. Pretty nimble too; Cloud likes to push off of things to get a stronger swing in. Good, that’s a good tactic, making up for his lesser strength with speed and his surroundings.

Zack can’t really make up for his speed. His power and strength and more power. He can take a good hit though; he doubts Cloud could handle a blow half as strong as he can, at least not right now. Maybe in a few months. Cloud’s also lacking in blocking. Again, he can do it, Zack takes a particularly hard swing at him and he deflects just fine.

But he sees the _tiniest_ slip in his footing. Any harder and Zack would have broken right through his block. He sees the moment Cloud realizes it too. His eyes get a little wide when Zack gives just a bit more into his hit.

Somehow, his speed gets even faster. It’s actually very impressive, he’s not even breathing hard. As if he’s just strolling on a walk. He evades all five of Zack’s next swings, even when he’s up close, just ducks into a roll and darts behind him.

His SHIELD around him glitters with a hit.

“Nice one Spikes.” Zack yells into the ‘wind’. He’ll have to watch his back a bit more.

Zack manages to trap Cloud in a smaller playing field, down the path and around to a smaller dead-end area of the junkyard. It’s built high with walls of junk and the path is narrow to get past on the way out. He’ll have to time an impressive jump to get passed Zack now. His back is also safe if he can keep Cloud where he is.

That might be a challenge in itself. He’s mad that Zack’s trapped him. He’s glaring down the length of his sword at him, stance low and strong. Zack’s expecting him to rush him again. Instead, everything goes still, the wind dies down and the smell of ozone hangs in the air. Zack’s hair gets dry, rises up, and floats.

There’s crackling all around Cloud, jumps of electricity rising from the materia on his wrist, it reflects beautifully in his blue eyes, beautiful, but dangerous. Gives his hard stare an even colder feel. The ozone smell gets strong and then there is a hard lightning strike opening from above them. It lands all around Zack, crackling and flashing around his SHIELD. When it’s done, the ozone smell lingers and Cloud’s got small bursts of lightning jumping all around his blade.

A blade that’s above Zack's head.

Huh, again. Cloud’s smart, wastes mana sure, but he’s distracted Zack enough to get a good hit on him.

His SHIELD flickers all around him again. That’s three hits now.

Zack’s fucking turned on as hell.

“Come on,” Cloud shouts at him, it’s startling. Zack’s never heard his voice get that loud, “stop going easy on me.”

O-h, he’s mad about that, not the trapping. All right then.

Zack is able to pull mana from his veins and supercharge his muscles for a little while, gives him a devastating hit. Just one blow at half his strength will shatter that SHIELD around Cloud. He breathes in deep and feels the heat flood through his body. It feels amazing, sets his endorphins on fire. He’s mindful of the towering junk, but he slashes at a pile and it tumbles down behind him. It won’t hold Cloud forever, but it’ll keep him thinking he’s trapped for a bit.

This time, the trap _is_ causing the glare.

Cloud’s sword is still dancing with lightning, so Zack is careful where he goes to swing. Cloud’s got to be getting tired, from the ongoing mana use and his speed. He can’t do both without tiring soon. He tries; Zack sees the stumble, the slower reaction time in his jump, as he ducks away from a particularly hard horizontal swing from Zack.

Zack manages to back him against the ruins, he’s got him. Zack pulls just a bit more mana into his muscles and swings hard, all his weight and strength with it.

Fucking hits the _ground_. It’s a vibrating shock running up his arms, stuns him for just a moment. His SHIELD flickers again and then bursts.

That little shit. He’s so proud of him. Didn’t even see him duck around and get behind him. He glances back at Cloud, who’s breathing heavy, his blade held stiff close to Zack's back.

Oh, _but._

“You’re out of mana,” Zack says, dropping his grip on his buster. It’s stuck hard in the ground for now.

“I broke your SHIELD,” Cloud says, eyes cold.

A draw then.

“Draw then, pretty eyes?”

“Hmm. Draw.” Cloud lowers his sword.

Now they just have a staring contest in the rain.

“So,” Cloud says, still got his hard eyes on. Zack hears the 'how'd I do?' in the silence.

Zack breaks out into a full grin and swoops forward, enveloping Cloud in his arms. He hears Cloud drop his blade, but he’s not letting go. He’s high on fighting endorphins and so fucking proud of Cloud. He fucking beat him on the first go and not just by luck either. As he pulls back, he smacks his hands over Clouds ears and just fucking smashes their lips together. It’s cold and slippery cause the rain, but that’s alright.

“ _Ahem.”_

Whoops, Zack manages to pull himself off Cloud, but barely.

Jessie’s grinning so big her poor beautiful eyes might disappear into her head. Tifa, Biggs, and Wedge are just behind her. Zack sees the blush creeping on Cloud’s cheekbones and he slips back a step and retrieves his sword.

“You boys having fun without us?” Tifa’s smirking like she saw the tail end of that kiss too. The guys seem pretty clueless.

Zack absolutely hears the quiet, “yes.” From Cloud. 

“We saw a bunch of lightning over the ruins, so we figured you guys were over here.”

“Just testing out the new equipment,” Zack pulls some more mana from his veins and yanks his stuck buster sword from the ground, one-handed.

“Oh my god, and you’re going to train us?” Jessie says, “you’re going to kill us.”

Zack laughs loudly, “You know, I can control my strength right. Otherwise, everything I touch would fall apart.”

Zack sees the joke in his words and warns Jessie with a look before she even opens her mouth. He knows that sparkle in her eye by now.

“Careful, Cloud’s actually going to do the drills with you guys.”

All three of them stiffen, Zack bets that panic in their eyes is them trying to figure out the most recent time they’ve teased him. From the look in Cloud’s, it was very recent.

They have some makeshift dummies made in the main area, out of anything durable, yet soft enough to punch. Mainly old foam and punching bags, that kind of thing. Tifa doesn’t need to be doing basics, so Zack asks her to help the others with their forms. He goes through a few different moves to start, two offensive and two defensive, and they get started practicing on the dummies. They are not terrible, Zack's aware Biggs was at least in Avalanche during the war, but the other two don't really seem like it.

Cloud’s hanging out of the way, leaning back against an old dry drainpipe sticking out of some of the ruins. Just waiting till partner rounds start. Zack thinks he’s not paying attention at first, but he notices his eyes staring intently on one of them at a time. He’s watching for their weaknesses.

Jessie’s light on her feet and pretty quick, she’ll make a good sparring partner for Tifa, Cloud even if she manages to stick with training. Biggs is a bit slower than her, but he’s also got more strength, a bit timid, however. Zack will have to see how he is in partnering. Wedge actually has some good strength, and he seems to catch on quick with blocking, it’s the offensive, like Biggs, hesitant. About an hour of the drills and Zack thinks they have it down. Cloud must be getting impatient; he’s already got his sword and gloves off, hovering closer to them.

Zack takes Wedge, if Cloud gets called ‘bro’ in the middle of a move, he’s sure Wedge will be on the other side of the junkyard. He’s also hesitant to give Biggs to him, unsure how tolerant he will be with Biggs's unsure offensive moves. But Tifa’s already grabbed up Jessie, anxious to have another girl powerhouse around probably. They are giggling far too much to be training. Zack will give them ten minutes to settle down.

Zack pops out his healing materia from his buster and slips into the slot on his belt, just in case.

“Dude, you plan on using that?” Wedge looks a little horrified. Zack laughs, setting into a casual defensive stance.

“Don’t worry, just a precaution.” For whoever Cloud is going to beat the shit out of, but Wedge doesn't need to know that.

Tifa and Jessie have already stopped the giggles and are sparring; Zack’s pleased to see that determined look on Jessie’s face. She’s at least giving Tifa a run on her stamina. Needs to work on her form though, fifty-fifty she throws a badly formed punch. She could break her arm doing that.

He motions for Wedge to start, like he thought, major hesitation. He barely even taps Zack.

“You know,” Zack says after the fourth run-through, “if you don’t come at me harder, I’ll take all your cats-”

“-you love all my cats-”

“-and give them to Cloud.”

Wedge’s horrified expression turns into near panic. Gets him to at least hit his forearms harder. Good. Also, he would never do that. Those poor cats.

They get a good thirty minutes in before Zack can bring himself to check on Biggs and Cloud. Biggs has improved, a lot. There’s no hesitant line in his shoulders, punches strong and he’s even baited Cloud into a few different moves. They are sparring easily, flow pretty quickly, not as fast as Cloud probably wants to go.

There’s no irritation in Cloud's expression, it's nice to see. In fact, Zack notes that Biggs does the same mistake three times and Cloud stops him, corrects sternly, but not meanly and does the correct motion with Biggs until he gets it. They jump right back into their sparring, easy, no lag or anything. Zack doesn't know why it's surprising. If there’s one thing other than his stubbornness that has always stayed the same, it’s Cloud’s gentleness. All that frontage and hard edge, it’s real, it’s his first defense socially, but Cloud’s always had a kind soul. His mean streak really only comes out when he's been pushed away for _being_ kind. Otherwise, it's all fluff.

At the end of the hour, Zack feels good. Not much you can learn in one session, but sometimes, just getting the ball rolling is good enough.

“That was fun,” Tifa says as they make their way back, “I haven’t sparred with anyone in a long time. It’s nice.”

“I’ll spar with you,” Cloud says; Zack calls the look in his eyes, his Tifa look.

“Really?”

“Sure, since I’m ditching you.”

“That’s right,” she play punches Cloud in the arm, “who’s my free labor going to be now?”

“Mmm,” Cloud’s tilting his head, “maybe I’ll help still.”

“Maybe, huh”

“Just on slow days.”

Tifa laughs, pats Cloud’s cheek, and heads up the stairs to start work.

“Same time Friday,” Zack calls after the other three.

“You know it!” Jessie’s in good spirits that might change if she doesn’t get to spar with Tifa every time.

“Sure, can’t hurt,” Biggs says and Wedge is rubbing at his arms,

“Says you I’m sore already.”

It is nice, makes Zack feel like he's teaching new recruits in SOLDIER. He loved doing that.

Zack reaches out, ruffles up Cloud’s hair, gets a tiny shove for it, and just the two of them again. He’s got a few jobs lined up; they have to head down to the junkyards on the roads, so it’ll take the rest of the day. That’s if the fiends are even still there, rainy days, monsters tend to hide out just like people.

“You ready for some monster hunting?” Zack asks.

“For sure.”

They have to go along the trail towards Slum 8. Apparently, there’s a giant fiend making trouble. It takes them the better part of the hour, the walking path between Slum 8 and 7 is farther than 6 and the job posted says the fiend is somewhere closer to Slum 8. There are only a few smaller fiends they come across on the way, nothing they can’t cut down in a swing or two. Rain is really keeping them away. Cloud looks good all damp. To be honest, Cloud just looks good. All the time. Still, it's not going to stop Zack from appreciating him.

They eventually hear a roar off in the nastier parts of the junk, the few people on the path get nervous and hurry along. Cloud jumps up a few sturdy parts to get a look over the massive piles. He waves at Zack to follow, then just jumps down the other side. It's much more narrow on this side, so they can't walk side by side, but eventually, the junk maze slowly starts to come to a dead end. It's also a total let down.

Turns out, the fiend is not that big. Zack can’t help but bust out laughing the second he and Cloud corner it. It’s just a small little guy, some kind of weird lizard hybrid-makes a very terrifying sound though.

“This is what you do all day?” Cloud asks, doesn’t even wait for Zack to finish giggling. Just unleashes a way too strong slash and the poor thing is dead.

That’s right, he’s giggling, he’ll admit it. It’s just so _tiny._

“I swear, it’s usually tougher fiends than this.” Zack feels a little bad getting money for it. He laughs about it all the way back to Slum 7, even during the other fiends they have to take out, which are way bigger and they're not even getting paid for. It wasn't a very satisfying monster hunt, at least he had an awesome spar with Cloud this morning. A good spar is better than monster killing any day. They collect their money as the sky starts to turn a pale blue, Zack almost doesn’t take it, but Cloud glares at him and mumbles about being paid just to trek all the way out there, at the very least.

When they get to Seventh Heaven for an early dinner, Jessie’s sitting out on the stairs and the open sign is flipped to close. Avalanche meeting.

“Hey you two, show those fiends whose boss?”

Cloud huffs through his nose, “sure.”

It was _so tiny_.

“Got a favor,” Jessie says, “before you ask, yes. I’ll pay you.” She’s already pulling out a materia and tossing it at them. It's bright red and fiery. Looks like a summon and Zack wants to know where she got that from. They are hard to come by and even some of the top SOLDIER's are not allowed to have them.

Cloud catches it.

“This involves going topside then?” Zack asks, he already knows the answer.

“You betcha.”

“Then I’ll pass.” He knows he’s being paranoid. He just can't get unstuck about it. Too much bad taste in his mouth.

“Cloud?” She’s not giving any cute eyes or anything, just serious and patient. Must really be important then. Zack ignores the guilty pang in his chest. There's no way, he goes up top, he'll be recognized by all those fancy cameras in seconds. He can see Cloud's interested, got that little glint in his eyes.

Zack doesn’t want him too. He really doesn’t want to be getting so close to ShinRa, it’s itching the middle of his back too much. He breathes deep, trying to ease his worry. Equals, they are _equals_. Zack can’t just hide Cloud away and he can’t just make his choices for him, he's not dead to the world anymore.

“Alright,” Cloud says it like it's the worst in the world, slipping the materia into the second slot of his wrist guard.

“Wait here; I wanna go as soon as we can.” Jessie solutes them terribly and rushes up the stairs. Maybe not a ShinRa thing then, that usually takes more planning.

It won’t be long, their meetings tend to be short, at least the ones Zack has been around to see. He'll just leave Cloud here to wait, he needs a shower anyway.

“Zack?” hearing the uncertainty in his voice stings just a little. Even worse when he gets that sad eye stare, all wet from the rain.

“I’m not mad,” Zack sighs, “just…be careful.” He's nervous, but Cloud doesn't need him to be that. He needs him to be supportive.

“Hey,” Cloud grabs his arm, pulls him close, and places a soft kiss against the scar on his jaw. Aw, he’s being sweet.

“See ya tonight.”

***

Cloud watches Zack walk alone back to the apartment from the steps, feeling like he did something wrong. He looks so sad in the rain. He knows he shouldn't be jumping at chances to go into ShinRa, but for some reason, Cloud is drawn to the Avalanche jobs. Just, he's still so mad and he doesn't know what to do with all his anger. But, bombing the reactor, it felt good to shove it to ShinRa. He's on a train that won't stop, he doesn't want too. Zack had asked him, weeks ago now, when Cloud could barely remember what he had eaten for breakfast, asked him to just tell him things. Cloud wasn't doing so well on that. If he told Zack he wanted to get back at ShinRa, that he liked it. Feels like that'd be the push for Zack to drift away from him.

Better just not say anything.

He’s only sitting there for fifteen minutes when Jessie comes bursting back out, buzzing with energy.

“Ready to go, merc?”

Cloud nods and follows her, she's not waiting for him to get up even. It’s just the two of them, surprising; usually one of the guys is tagging along. She keeps glancing back behind them as if she expects Biggs and Wedge to just pop out of nowhere.

“I found that blasting agent I was talking about yesterday,” She says as the train station comes into view.

“Okay.”

“And it may be at a ShinRa facility, the only place to get it in fact.”

“ShinRa?” Cloud hates when Zack is right, even if he didn’t say this time.

“Lucky us, I have an easy way in.”

Alright. Not much Cloud can do about it, he’d said he’d take the job. He's not annoyed anyway. A hit against ShinRa is a win for him, no matter how small.

Plus…she’d looked so crushed when Zack flat out refused. He's not telling her that, Zack either.

The sun is just going down over the wall and there are a little too few people at the station. Expect for the people in the fountain area, there is no one on the platform.

“Shit, I forget they changed the schedule.” Jessie cusses. Cause of the bombings, Cloud hasn't been paying attention to the news much. It's hard too anyway when Seventh Heaven is packed full every night now that the warm weather is gone in the evenings, the outside all closed up.

“Forget that, did you?” Sounds like Biggs. Cloud knew they would turn up. Jessie seems surprised, probably thought she gave them the slip. Biggs and Wedge are walking up with two motorbikes at their sides and wide grins on their faces.

Jessie frowns, mumbles under her breath about nosy boys.

“It’s okay, we got you covered,” Wedge says, "better than any stuffy train ride."

"Thanks," Jessie says, knocking hips with Biggs, "Cloud and I will take just the one."

"Uh, no way. We know what you are up too." Biggs says.

"You d-o? how?"

"You've been way too peppy."

She had been extra flirty at training. Most of it had been directed at Tifa though. Jessie has been non-stop talking about a new blasting agent, of course they can easily figure out what she's up to.

"Yeah, figured you wanted to go visit your parents."

Or, they are just idiots.

"O-h," Jessie half twists on her heels and winks at Cloud, "yeah, totally. Figured me out."

"Yeah, s-o," Wedge nudges the bike forward a bit, "we got you covered."

‘Covered’ turns out to be a lot of Jessie laughing in Cloud's ear as they zoom up the train loop to the upper plate. At least they pass the ID scan and this is also much faster than the train, good. Hopefully, he won't be gone all night. He can't stop thinking about Zack walking all sad and alone in the rain. They just get out into the cleaner air of the upper plate when a nasty bolt of lightning nearly has Cloud skidding in circles and throwing the bike out from under him and Jessie. Biggs and Wedge are a ways behind them; Cloud can hear them shouting, but they're mostly drowned out by obnoxious engine revving.

He comes crashing down over the roadway above them, laughing insanely. He instantly wants to stab this guy.

A SOLDIER, shouting something at Cloud with a fairly friendly voice, it's ruined by the maniacal laughing right after.

“What?” Jessie yells over all the revving. There’s way too much of it. So fucking annoying.

And then the flirting starts, Roche, is that what he said? Slows up to wink at Jessie. Cloud feels an unusual flare of protectiveness. He slams the bikes together with his front wheel and takes a swing with his sword. Jessie yelps at him and her arms tighten around his waist.

Probably shouldn’t have done that. Roche looks pissed. Hopefully, Cloud managed to scratch that hideous paint job. It’s just flares of lightning and speed and so much yelling, after that. It’s giving Cloud a headache.

“Ugh, can’t this guy just go AWAY,” Jessie screams the last word as they zoom past him.

Cloud agrees; he’s had enough.

“Jessie, take control,” he only waits for a second for her to register his words before jumping back onto Roche’s too flashy bike. The other SOLDIER seems surprised, good. Stab him in the face if he even tries to knock Cloud off. Cloud digs his sword deep into the engine and jumps back to an increasingly distressed Jessie.

"Don't fucking do that!" Jessie hangs on to his waist again, a lot tighter than before, "I don't care how cool it is."

Nice.

Roche's bike seems to have a standstill, they are leaving him in the dust, fast. Cloud still slows up just a bit until Biggs and Wedge catch up.

From there, things get…sad.

She’d told him, once they got off the bikes and were walking up the station steps. She needs him to break into her house. Easy enough. On their way to her parent’s house, the walk is slow and quiet in the sleeping neighborhood. It's an entirely different world up on the upper plate. Cloud gets small memory flashes of starting as a cadet, not anything he didn't already remember.

In and out, just get the ShinRa ID card while they distract her mom, that's the plan. He gets a weird look from Biggs and Wedge when he goes around the back of the house and waits. It's not long, he's just started daydreaming about Zack's stupid smile when the back light flickers on. He tries not to scare the cats as he slips inside the house.

Standing in the room, staring at her Dad’s comatose body, something inside Cloud breaks a little bit more. Hands shaking the whole time he’s looking around, hyper-aware of Jessie talking just down the hall. Seeing all the pictures of Jessie and her parents, how proud they are of her, even though half of it’s a lie now. It's making this too hard. He's not supposed to be getting attached.

He can’t stop thinking about his Mom the whole time. Burned and killed. It’s one of the only things clear from the fire. He nearly crushes the ID when he finds it. He leaves quickly, not even trying to be quiet. He needs fresh air. He can feel his body tensing into a panic attack when he rounds the house corner and right into pizza?

Jessie’s shoving a slice of pizza at him when he rejoins them out front, a smile on her face. She tilts her head at him and wiggles the pizza slice.

“Come on, I know you’re hungry. You went out monster hunting all day. Eat it on the way.”

“It’s super good bro!” Wedge pats his shoulder guard. Do not sigh, he tells himself.

He does eat it, follows the three of them at a slower pace. Biggs is asking if he saw Jessie's Dad (of course he did) and talking about her lost actress dreams. It’s hard for him to keep his edge listening. He gets it. When he'd first met her, he couldn't understand how someone like her had anything against ShinRa. Too happy, too carefree. What did she know? Turns out a lot more than he thought. He really needs to work on not being such a dick.

He should probably be a little nicer to Jessie.

The ShinRa facility is looming over the neighborhoods so it's a quick walk. Outside the guard gate, they watch Jessie leap over the wall and around the corner out of sight. Takes all of five more minutes for her first flare to shoot up into the night sky.

At least he can see the stars and moon for once. It’s nice. He’d forgotten how pretty they are.

"Cloud," Biggs calls him back.

They rush the large steel gate, it's already half-open. It’s easy at first, being the distraction. Only a few groups of guards, but when it’s clear he’s not an easy target, things start getting intense. A lot of gunfire, too many guards all of a sudden and, _ugh_ ShinRa hounds. Wedge and Biggs help out, for the most part, skimming the walls and giving Cloud extra backup from an unseen spot. Eventually, they all end up in the center, quickly getting surrounded. Biggs and Wedge are becoming a distraction for him. It’s all Cloud can think about, make sure they don’t get shot or caught on fire or ripped to shreds. It’s stressful and he’s ready for it to be done. Got to hold out for that last flare.

Everything just goes to shit then, that _fucking_ SOLDIER comes flying out of nowhere. Starts rambling about dancing and key turning? Cloud’s got no time for analogies.

“Why’s this guy think he’s an engine?” Wedge yells over a particularly loud set of gunshots.

Cloud laughs under the cover of all the noise, “the whole bike, even.” he deadpans back.

Doesn’t really sit well with Roche. Roche manages to distract Cloud for long enough that he doesn’t even notice when a massive gunner mech is right behind him. Or that about ten of them all came out of the building at once. He’s also not excepting Wedge to just jump in front of him to save him from an attack. Why, why do that. Cloud doesn't need help, he's got it.

Now he's got to start being nicer to Wedge too. This is why he doesn’t want friends. The three of them are all backed into a tight spot when Jessie’s flare flies up into the sky.

Great, except they can’t really just drop and run.

There’s a shit ton of noise over by the entrance gates and then all the bullets are flying past them, instead of at them. Roche just up and disappears, fucking finally.

Cloud has no idea what is going on, but Biggs does; Grabs his arm and pulls him away from Wedge, who’s struggling to get up from the ground.

“Come on, it’s help. They got him.”

“Who’s they?”

Cloud feels that twinge of guilt as they watch the gate close, but strangers are helping Wedge to his feet, they seem to know him. There’s a lot of them, so the rest of the guards are ignoring they're sudden departure.

“Different Avalanche cell.”

“There’s more of you?” Cloud asks, “don’t mention it to Zack.”

Biggs laughs, slaps a hand on his back, “don’t worry. They’re not too happy with us; we’re too ‘extreme’-”

Except, they have a ton of heavy-looking weapons with them, look organized. Like an army.

“-Besides, word is, they’re working out of Wutai. Unless Zack wants to start living over there, I think he only has to worry about us.”

Cloud’s eager to get back, he’s got a headache starting from that crazy SOLDIER, and that pizza Jessie gave him was not enough food for his super-charged body. He follows Biggs back around the guard gate and to Jessie’s meeting place, hiding behind some supply crates just in time for ShinRa to start rolling in more troops.

“Opps, think we overdid it?” Biggs’s chuckle is close to his ear.

“Holy hell, you guys,” Jessie’s jumping down from the wall and walk-crouching over, “you think you maybe did some overkill?”

It’s what she wanted; Cloud doesn’t get what the big deal is. He could have done without Roche, that annoying hysterical laugh is going to haunt him for the next few days. He’s about to argue, but then Wedge is tripping all over the sidewalk and they rush out to grab him before any more troops come over.

"You okay?" Biggs asks.

"I think I got shot."

And then Cloud has to watch them all looking at Wedge's ass. This is a weird day for him.

"Oh for the-" Jessie rolls her eyes, "you're fine!" and she slaps him hard.

"Shit! That's a gunshot." Wedge laughs, Jessie and Biggs joining in.

It's a little funny.

Jessie gasps at his small smile and he knows, it's the same shit all the time, "no."

"Clo-ud,"

"Don't."

"Did you jus-"

"-No, come on. It's not safe." he just tucks his head and starts skimming around the militia trucks.

The three of them chorus something at him, but he's already way too ahead of them. Jessie shimmies her way past him when they have to wait for a larger group of troops to go by. She leads them to the edge of the ShinRa facility property. She’s rummaging around in some storage crates and then tossing a large pack at Cloud, shoving the other one into Biggs’s arms.

“Put these on, they’re our way down boys!”

Parachutes.

Cloud’s glad Zack’s not here for this one. He’d be screaming just as loud as Jessie is all the way down.

At least it’s fun screaming and not scared screaming.

And he’ll never admit it, but the little fist bump Jessie gave him before they jumped made him feel…

Included and all warm in his stomach. Weird. Cloud’s shit at having friends.

It takes them about twenty minutes to float all the way down, losing Jessie and Biggs about halfway. Cloud’s not sure how, he can still hear her ‘whooo-hoo”-ing from somewhere. Their touch down is nice and simple, but Wedge is still limping around as Cloud unbuckles the pack from himself.

“You go ahead back to Zack,” he says, “I can get home by myself.”

Cloud’s okay with that, except. He did take a hit for him.

“It’s cool. I’ll come with.”

“Really bro?”

“Stop with the bro!”

He doesn’t stop with the bro. In fact, Cloud thinks he calls him it even more the whole time they check to see if Jessie and Biggs are home. (They are not.) It’s the cats that push Cloud’s limit. Cats hate him, must be the mako eyes. So annoying.

After dropping Wedge off at his place, Cloud doubles back to make sure Biggs and Jessie both got home after the first round of check-ins. Wedge asked him so nicely and he feels a little bad about freaking out his cats. Just a little. Biggs is out front; looking a little winded and gives Cloud a nod before heading in.

He’s got to knock on Jessie’s door to see if she’s back. He thinks just a moment too late after his knuckles rap on the door, that one of the other girls she lives with might answer. But her honey brown eyes are the ones that peek out.

“Well well, Cloud Strife, checkin' on little ol’me?” She’s already digging through her pockets, “here, the other half of the payment.”

Yet another materia, Zack can have this one. Cloud wonders where she keeps getting all of them.

“One more thing,” She jumps at him, almost knocking him a step back.

“Ugh,” he’s about to push her away, he really only enjoys it when Zack touches him, but the image of her Dad lying in the wash of the moonlight bores in his mind. It pulls his arms around her slender waist. Jessie lets out a little “oh” and relaxes into something easier, less showy and theatrical.

“Thanks, Cloud, really.” She says, stepping back. She’s got a sad look to her smile.

Cloud keeps thinking about her Dad.

“Wanna come in for a bit, no ones h-ome,” She’s back to flirty, leaning in closer than he would like.

“Jessie.” He nearly rolls his eyes.

She laughs, twisting back and grabbing the door to close, “Psyche!”

Really, _really_ bad at being friends.

It’s barely 10:30 when he gets back to the apartment. Jitters that don't matter are fluttering in his chest, he knows Zack’s not mad he went, but all he can think about is the hard-line in his shoulders last time he went up top.

The water is just shutting off as he walks in the door. Cloud leans his sword next to Zack’s near the door and unties his boots, toes them off before shoving them under the table.

Zack’s staring at him, when he stands back up, towel slung over his hips.

“Hey,” he says, stepping closer, “everything go okay?”

Cloud’s never looked at Zack up close, not his bare body really. He’s barely been a person for the last three weeks, not awake for one either and before then... Well before then their hang out time consisted of missions and random dinner only. Zack’s got a lot more scars on his shoulders and chest that match the thin criss-cross one on his jaw. Cloud reaches out to trace one without thinking.

“You smell like gunfire,” Zack says, stepping so close that Cloud has to tilt his chin up just to see his mouth.

“Nothing major, not even a scratch” he’s going to leave out the part at the end, where Wedge took a pretty intense hit for him. Probably the part about that crazy-ass SOLDIER too.

Zack nods, steps even closer, his hands coming up to grasp at Cloud’s neck. It’s always the neck. There's the slight touch of his lips across his brow, “mind if I check?”

Cloud feels his face get hot and huffs out a laugh. Zack’s hands are already slipping down his chest, slow, like always. He’s so gentle with him. Not that Cloud minds…realizing he likes it. _A lot_. But…he wishes Zack wasn’t so careful with him still. He’s better. He doesn’t need to be coddled. Besides, he doesn't know what to do with gentle.

Zack’s tickling his sides, moving his hands around his back to unlock his weapon harness. It drops to the floor between them with a quiet thud. He’s pressing his lips just under Cloud’s jaw as his fingers pull his shirt out from his waistband, slipping under it and slowly pushing up. The air’s cold around Cloud’s bare torso, he feels his skin break out in goosebumps.

Zack only pulls away from his neck to pull the shirt over his head, before he’s latched back on, teeth this time too. It's got Cloud’s pulse-quickening, he reaches out for Zack, grasps his arm around to his elbows. Zack likes to linger with all the touching and Cloud's not sure what to do with himself.

Zack's hands are warm from the shower, they keep skirting over the button of his pants. Cloud moves to just do it for him.

“Don’t,” Zack’s voice is sharp and low, his eyes are bright like his own, staring closely at him, “let me?”

Always with the asking.

“Hmmm.”

He feels Zack’s smile against his neck. Zack’s just teasing him this time, his fingers tug at his waistband before flattening back out to rub at his stomach, over and over. It’s making Cloud impatient and he’s way too hard to still be in the restrictive material of the SOLDIER uniform.

“Zack,” he’ll be embarrassed later, it comes out too close to a whine. The vibration of Zack’s laugh on his neck feels amazing and Cloud falls back against the door. He gets one more good bite into Cloud’s neck before kneeling, unbuttoning, and letting the thick fabric slide along his legs.

It’s a little maddening, he can feel Zack’s breath on him through his briefs. Cloud’s barely got his hands sliding into Zack’s dark hair, when Zack just presses forward, mouths at him through the thin fabric. Traps the moisture in his breath and it’s so hot already. Cloud has to bite his lip from crying out, his knees bend a little and he slides down the door a bit.

Zack’s hands come up the back of his thighs to catch him, laughing against his cock.

“Damn, can’t believe how sensitive you are, Cloudy-sky.” Zack near whispers, but it’s loud and low in Cloud’s ears and in one quick motion, yanks down his briefs, grabs the back of thighs real tight and just swallows the whole length of him.

Cloud does cry out this time, hand tightening in Zack’s hair. It’s so much heat, all at once, so fast. Cloud can barely stand.

_Fuck._

Zack won’t let him move, his grip is tight and strong on his legs, keeping him from falling, from moving his hips, from moving at all. Cloud's trying not to blackout, can only take in as much air as his lungs will let him and Zack’s being a fucking tease, pulls off him slow, taking him back in even slower. Over and over, every so often, bringing him fully in his mouth in one fast slide and then back to slow. So slow. The cold air is a shock every time, and then the hot, wetness of Zack’s lips and tongue and-

It’s hotter every time and Cloud is not going to last.

Not like he lasted the last time Zack tried anything with him. Fucking embarrassing.

“Z-Zack…I.” he can barely get out in between gasps, and he’s going to try to ignore how high and break-y his voice sounds.

Zack laughs around his cock, fucking _fuck_ , and pulls off with a slow lick up the underside.

Cloud only just realizes his body’s shaking. Zack stands, bringing Cloud’s legs with him, wrapping them to his waist and flushing his body all along Cloud’s front, pinning him to the door. The towel still around Zack’s waist feels rough against his over-stimulated cock. It’s making him whine and he hides his mouth against Zack’s shoulder, trying to keep the sound in.

Zack rolls his hips lazily, groans himself, loudly into Cloud’s ear and it’s fucking amazing. So low and raw and all Cloud can think about is Zack fucking him with that sound in his ears. Thinks about it so hard that Zack’s suddenly dropping him on the bed and Cloud didn’t even notice they had moved.

Zack’s finally got that damn towel gone and f-uck.

He’s thick, really _thick._

It makes Cloud’s own cock jump, but there’s a slight hesitation in the back of his aroused mind. He’s never done anything with anyone. How’s that fucking monster going to fit. Zack’s face losses all its hard edges, his eyes still dark with a hunger though. He crowds down on top of Cloud for a searing, fast kiss.

“Don’t worry, pretty eyes, I’m gonna open you up real good.”

Cloud’s not sure he can handle the dirty talking. It’s so embarrassing, he feels his cheeks flush and he glances away from Zack’s gaze. This whole fucking thing is embarrassing if he thinks about it too long.

Gets laughed at a bit for it too.

“On your stomach,” Zack says. Cloud flips over, hearing the clank of a glass bottle, so he’s expecting lubed up fingers, but there’s a small dip of weight in the bed and then Zack’s fucking tongue is swiping up his hole.

He's not expecting his tongue on him, fucking _in_ him. Oh fuck. Zack spreads his legs wider, and just fucking goes at him. Cloud’s mind is fogged and he can’t feel anything other than Zack’s tongue slowly lapping at him, dipping in past his tight ring of muscle. He’s dripping with pre-come and he doesn’t think he can take anymore, he's just spending forever back there when Zack’s suddenly gone.

The heat of his body is still there, gets closer, and then Zack’s roaming his hands all over his back. Follows the curve of the dip in his lower back, sliding along his spine and out over his shoulder blades. Does it a few times, leaning against him, the weight of his thick cock on the curve of his ass. He gets wet open kisses to his back after every pass of Zack’s hands. Somehow it feels just as good as everything else, relaxing his tight muscles, easing the knot near his neck.

Zack gets the moan he’s looking for, not like he wasn’t before, Cloud’s just more aware of this one. At least it’s not all high and breathy this time.

One last wet kiss in between his shoulders and Zack’s grabbing at his hips, flipping him over and up against the wall, a pillow sliding against Cloud’s lower back.

Zack’s sitting on his knees, resting his forehead against Cloud's, hands still touching him anywhere he can get.

So much touching.

“It’s easier,” Zack says, “on your stomach, but…I wanna see your face, that okay?”

Seriously with the asking. It’s too sweet and Cloud feels the embarrassment come over him in a wave again. He doesn’t deserve sweet.

Probably doesn’t deserve Zack all together.

Zack does reach for the bottle of lube this time and scooches in closer to him. Lifts his thighs a bit to rest over Zack’s hips and slides Cloud down against the wall a little more, so he’s more exposed thanks to the leverage of the pillow.

Zack’s giving him that stupid tender look as he coats his fingers, leans in for a slow kiss.

“Comfy?”

Cloud hums at him, he guesses. All he’s thinking about is Zack’s fingers and how fucking hard his cock is. It’s almost painful.

Zack’s lips are a hot pressure against his own, tongue dipping into his mouth every time he gasps. It’s distracting enough he doesn’t notice Zack’s touching him until the slow slide of his finger slips inside him. The lube is warmed and Zack is so very gentle. He sighs against Zack’s mouth, feels odd.

Zack spends forever doing this too. Doesn’t even add a second finger until Cloud’s hips are jerking up on their own. It’s a bit more pressure, but Zack’s just lightly grazing that spot inside him. Makes his cock twitch every time and his breath stutter. All over again, and again until he’s got three fingers in him. There’s so much lube Cloud can feel it sliding down his ass crack. There’s no more pressure eventually, just the easy glide of Zack’s fingers curling in, spreading and digging as deep inside him as he can.

_“Zack.”_

“Okay,” he leans in for a kiss, so much kissing too, “easy. I’ve got you.”

Ugh, the sweet talk is more embarrassing than the dirty talk.

Zack lifts him up a bit more, so his thighs are spread wide over Zack’s own thick muscled legs, nestled right into his lap. Cloud is nearly curled in, his lower back on the pillow, shoulder blades pressing into the wall. He has to look up into Zack’s face. So close like this, Zack feels massive. Shoulders seeming broader than ever, his arms tight with anticipation, he keeps starring at the dip in his clavicle, there’s a small little white scar there he’s never noticed.

Zack’s pouring more lube, on his cock this time, the rest of the bottle.

Cloud snorts, “Overkill?” he says, his voice sounds wrecked.

Zack just gives him that stupid, dumb tender look again.

He shifts once more, leaning up and forward, lining his cock up against Cloud’s pucker. He settles in close, leaning down with an arm so close to Cloud’s head he could lean on it. He presses in, guiding with his hand, ever so slowly.

There’s a lot of pressure, it’s so tight and the pressure is building, almost to the point of pain, Cloud gasps, reaching up to grasp at Zack’s shoulder, his arm with his other hand. He resists the urge to press his forehead against Zack’s bicep, trying to keep their gazes locked. Zack wants to look at him. It’s fucking embarrassing.

For one second, there’s a tiny pinch of pain and then the pressure eases a bit as Zack finally pushes the head of his cock in. Zack’s stroking at his stomach in soothing upward circles as he presses in, slow so slow and thick. Feels ten times thicker than he looks and Cloud feels his air getting stuck in his lungs more and more.

“Easy, let me in beautiful, almost there.” too sweet, it’s too embarrassing and so much pressure. Cloud feels like he’ll burst. He's going to kill him for that nickname when this is over, too.

When Zack’s hips hit the bottom of Cloud’s ass, buried all the way inside him, he moans so long, like the biggest sigh of relief. He’s breathing hard through his nose and when he looks into Cloud’s eyes, the hunger and the tenderness almost breaks him.

Looks like love staring back at him.

Cloud doesn’t think he can handle love. How can anyone love him, he’s so broken he can’t even function right half the time.

Zack’s sliding his free hand up his stomach, spreading and dipping along the curves of his abs, rubbing against one of his nipples, traces up his neck. Cloud wants him to do something raunchy, dip his fingers in his mouth, maybe squeeze his neck, anything but-

Fucking, brushing the back of his knuckles across the top of his cheekbone. It’s unbearable with that look in his eyes and the soft smile on his face. He can’t do it; he totally caves and presses his face against the inside of Zack’s bicep.

Zack follows him, leans down and over. He presses his head against Clouds and very slowly, rolls his hips. He doesn’t pull back or out, just a slow roll up and in. Over and over, dragging against that spot inside of him. Hardly any release from it, always pressing. It’s too good. Cloud can’t even think anymore, just the slowly quickening pace of Zack inside him.

Zack’s saying things to him, but he can’t focus, he can barely hold onto Zack, he’s sure his body is shaking apart.

Finally, Zack pulls back, almost out all the way, relieving pressure and then slams into him. It’s a punch of pleasure that rocks through Cloud’s whole body, traps the air in his lungs. He can’t breathe it’s so good.

Over and over

Again and again, faster.

He slides inside him so easy; Zack’s pounding into him, hitting that pleasure spot too much, too hard and too fast. Cloud can’t decide which is better, the slow or the fast. It’s all torture, amazing, fucking-

Too much. It’s too much, he’s tensing up, feels himself squeeze Zack’s cock tight. It’s too _much._

The air in his lungs finally punches out and Cloud arches up into Zack, pressed up against his chest, face hidden in his shoulder. Waves and waves of pleasure and tightness and pain wrack over his body. It’s almost never-ending.

Zack’s rhythm goes wild, sporadic, and hard. It’s not long, but Cloud is over sensitive coming down from his orgasm, feels like he’s burning. The world comes back to him with Zack moaning deep against his own shoulder, arms tight around Cloud’s waist, holding his arched posture too him. Zack comes inside him, voice vibrating against his skin and low in his ear.

They sit still breathing against each other for a long while.

Zack chuckles, “You didn’t let me see your face.”

So _embarrassing._

Now he’s never going to see his face again. Cloud presses harder into his shoulder.

At least it makes Zack laugh. He also manhandles him away from his shoulder and-

-what, oh the shower right. Cooling down, Cloud realizes he’s covered in come, his and Zack’s.

“Hey,” Zack’s voice sounds so raw like he was screaming for hours, “that was fucking awesome, Spikes.”

For some reason, the nickname makes it not so weird. Pushes away the shyness in him and Zack’s smile is so blinding when he manages to look up at him.

Zack’s pushing him into the shower room, closing the door behind them and turning the water on, already grabbing a washcloth and wiping Cloud down.

They don’t make out against the wall. (They do)

***

He’s been putting it off for too long. If she ever finds out he’s been in the city, let alone two sectors over for almost a month, she’ll kill him.

Aerith’s always been good at hearing him out, get his rants done and over with. So he can think clearly and decide what he knows is right. Without that, he just gets twisted up in his mind, too many thoughts, no reason in them. Just makes a choice, who knows if it's ever the right one. It's not that he doesn't trust Cloud with this. Cloud's actually similar to Aerith, they both have the ability to just snap him off his tangents.

But He just can’t put this on Cloud. He _can’t._ He’s still got to ask him about that static. He's nervous for the answer and every day that goes by without it happening, Zack just thinks maybe that's it. It won't happen again. And if it's not the static it's every time Cloud stares off into nothing for too long or gets that terrible look of every awful emotion swimming in his eyes. It's Zack's responsibility to be there for Cloud.

So, he just can’t. Cloud may be able to kick his ass in training and hold his own in fights, but they are just ignoring the main issue, his mental ones. They don’t talk about it, they don’t even do their question thing they used too. And every time ShinRa is brought up, the hatred just burns in Cloud, anyone can see it, he doesn't need an expressive face for it. It's all in his eyes and his body.

That hatred is deep and real and Zack’s all for it. He _is_ , he hates ShinRa just the same.

But for the first time in his life, he’s paralyzed. He doesn’t know if he should keep on running or fight. He’s already been fighting for so long, how much longer? How much does ShinRa have to beat him down until they just leave him alone? Deep down he knows the answer, just doesn't want to look at it. Just like everything else that's rushing out to smack him head-on.

He needs to talk to someone less biased than their Avalanche friends or Cloud. ShinRa was his whole life and now. Now it's his enemy. It's hard to see people he thought he knew just turn at an order.

It’ll be good to see Aerith again. If she doesn’t kill him first. Maybe he’ll just lie and say he just got here. Ha…yeah right. She'll see right through that one.

Zack carefully rolls Cloud away from him and slips out of bed. He dresses halfway before jotting down a note to Cloud, quietly takes out a few ethers, makes sure he's got at least two potions, and a few other things.

Now the hard part.

He sits back down on the edge of the mattress, watches Cloud curl onto his side, and sighs. There’s a fresh hickey still darkening on his neck and if Zack looks, he’s sure there's some bruising on his thighs. Just watching him sleep makes his heart thump heavy and then start rushing. Fuck, he just wants to be back inside Cloud. It was fucking amazing. Safe, it made him feel safe too. Cloud's...even with everything happening to him. Cloud just has something about him, calms Zack. So tempting, to just shift him and wake him up slow, push back inside of him.

Zack's gonna scream, he can’t, he’s got to get this stuff out of his head first. Plus, he made a promise after all.

He leans down, presses a few kisses along Cloud's cheek until he’s frowning and blinking open his eyes.

“Zack?”

“Hey, beautiful,” Zack can only get away with the really cheesy nicknames when Cloud is _super_ out of it. When he’s tired, fucking apparently, or when he’s in pain. He really wants the last one to stop happening to Cloud, so he’ll take the first two all he can get.

“I got this thing I have to do. Over in sector 5. I gotta leave early.” Cloud’s pretty used to Zack having weird hours by now. He still frowns sleepily though.

“ ‘erc job? I’ll get up.” He sits up enough that the blankets fall and Zack can definitely see those bruises. Fuck, this is way harder to leave now that he can just touch him. He pushes his blonde hair to the side and kisses Cloud’s forehead again.

“Nah, it’s a personal thing, but I promise I’ll tell you when I get back. Won’t be too long. Should be back by tonight.”

“ ‘night?” ugh, he’s so sleepy and soft, Zack just wants to get back in and hold him.

“Yeah, I left a note for you, just in case this is kind of fuzzy. I have to go finish a promise I made.”

Cloud leans forward onto his shoulder for a moment before humming at him. He’s asleep on him in seconds. Zack sighs, wraps his arms around him, and rests his lips against his hair in a barely-there kiss. He lies him down slowly, as to not wake him.

He finishes dressing, harness snapping tight against his back, and quietly takes his buster from the wall.

He steps out into the dark morning with a bittersweet taste in his mouth.

***

It happens all at once, a rushing of water, cooling, and relief after weeks of tiny glimpses.

It’s the flowers that tell her.

The rush brings tears to her eyes and she has to sit for a moment. She's had a weird feeling ever since she started seeing Zack in her head. It’s been years since that had happened. She can’t make much sense of all of it, not yet. She just _knows._

Knows about her past, about her real mother. It’s painful, there’s so much pain that is not hers coming with this gift. More than anything she’s felt from the lifestream before. Feels, final. One last chance.

The Cetra.

The Calamity from the skies. It scares her the most. There’s the ghost feeling, older than Gaia maybe, of sadness, so much suffering and loss.

But it is a gift, she knows. The strangeness of just knowing its right this time. It’s all jumbles, but she has faith it will sort out. She just has to be patient.

“Aerith!” it’s early and she'd promised her mother she’d go to the orphanage today, take the latest harvest of veggies and pick some of the overgrowing flowers.

She just has to get her bearings first, dry her eyes bit. The flowers help; they whisper encouragement like they know the fates as well.

She feels older as if she’s lived over and over.

Another glimpse, a small one, of pretty blue eyes and blonde hair, so many different versions of him. But the eyes, they're the same every time. So pretty and sad…

“Cloud.” Which one will she meet this time? Someone completely new?

She supposes she has lived many times now.

Aerith wipes her eyes, gently touches a few petals of the flowers near her. She’s ready, for the final time.

She better hurry, there’s an ex-SOLDIER heading her way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, everybody better be on board with the sex cause, you know. When its time for the real Wall Market chapter-those fuckers in the Remake, made that whole chapter a fan service. Haha Which means my whole chapter for that, its just gunna be porn you guys. LOL
> 
> It's still going to be a bit until the mysterious are unveiled, but trust me, Cloud and Zack are suffering with you. 
> 
> Leave me a comment, I love reading what you guys think, can not stress enough, how awesome you guys are. Makes me so excited to write more. 
> 
> Thanks so much, See ya! :)


	7. Blue Jean Baby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remember that hard left turn in the tags, here's the beginning of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woooh-boy, this one took a bit longer, sorry for the wait! A lot more plot happens than the last one, finally yes? :)
> 
> I could not stop listening to TINY DANCER-Elton John while writing Aerith, I don't know why, but I feel like that's her song. lol
> 
> Slight gore *WARNING* If you guys are easily grossed out, sorry. Hope you're not eating as you read this! It's not that gross, at least I hope not, I may be desensitized to gore. So I can't really tell. 
> 
> Anyway
> 
> Happy Reading!

They’ve finally made it, months of traveling on foot, their food supply gone for a day now. Aerith fears it’s too late. She expected it, the far corners of Gaia are the worst off. Ironically, Midgar, with its dead land, was the last to fall. And even as she's lived with the horrors and the stench, to see how bad it actually gets....the Forgotten City, she doesn't even recognize it now.

“Come on,” Cloud’s voice, as gentle as he can make it, it's a small comfort.

They have to get to the back end of the city where, hopefully, the temple still stands. It’s disgusting, walking through all the ruins, everywhere there is monstrous over-growth of JENOVA. Some of them, it's hard to tell if they are plants or something mutated with animal cells. The smell of rot is strong, gets stronger as they go. Screams and screeches fill the toxic air, the fiends sound so horrible. Echo-y and scratchy, too many voices at once and yet not at all. Worst of it, so many of them sound as if they were once human.

Cloud’s hacking away at thick, fleshy looking vines that just spill out black and ooze and ooze, never-ending smell of decay. Eventually, he makes a dent big enough so they can get through the doorway. She didn't even realize they had reached the temple. Streams of the black ooze spread over the ground, it's bubbling. Cloud's got splashes of it all over his outer coat. He shrugs it off as it starts to smoke.

“Ugh,” she thinks she might be sick, the smell is the worst.

“Aerith,” Cloud’s holding his hand out to her, his eyes colder than ever, “let’s go. We don’t have time to be squeamish.”

He’s right; they’ve run out of time. She takes one last look at the sky, it’s all purple and red, smoke a never-ending screen. The sun, she’s forgotten what it’s warm rays feel like. She takes Cloud’s hand.

The inside is all infected with JENOVA too. It’s all up the walls and down the floor, nothing looks the same. Weird vegetation, haunting sounds, coming from the plants? Weird, the few plants left in Midgar died within the first year. These....look so alien, they couldn't have started as Gaia's. They walk farther and farther into the temple. At least, as they get closer to the bottom, the less of JENOVA there is until, _finally._

The backroom, down by the holy pool and the lifestream, it’s pristine.

“Oh my god,” She nearly cries. Something not covered in JENOVA, for the first time in years. Cloud hurries her in, staring too long up the staircase they just came from. She watches his left-hand twitch, "Cloud."

His eyes are still cold. He follows her in and pushes the large stone doors shut behind them, it shutters with dust falling and a sound that makes her feel, final.

“Okay, we’re here. Now what.”

That’s right. He’s been very patient with her. Ran across all of Gaia, her ever-faithful guard as she searched and searched for a way to stop JENOVA. It's been hard and long. There’s no more technology, no more roads or airships or helicopters or cars. Hardly any people...their friends all long gone. Everything’s a ruin, anything beautiful lost to JENOVA infestation. It’s taken them months to get here, just on their own feet. Just the two of them.

“Aerith,” Cold. He’s so cold; she fears its the JENOVA cells inside him.

Sometimes, in the dead of the night, by the fire. She’ll wake and see the only thing that's still keeping him human. A sad, painful connection. Sorrow so much of it, a whole world's worth. His eyes, they are so beautiful; they shouldn’t have to look like that.

“Okay, remember, how I said I think I found something that will stop JENOVA.”

“Six months ago."

“Right.”

He huffs a raspy sound, what’s probably supposed to be a laugh. But there’s no joy in his body anymore.

“I’m not sure you are going to like it. But…it’s the only thing we have left.”

He stares at her, ever her silent companion.

“Okay, here goes. I found a loophole.”

“In what?” Barely an inflection, his hand is twitching again.

A way to start over, if JENOVA got like this ever again. Reverse time, start over and beat her, him, it. _Whatever._ Just get this wretched thing _off_ her planet.

“In time, a loophole in time. It’s a complicated spell and I need lifestream, a section that isn’t too tainted by JENOVA yet.”

“Time….” Cloud’s eyes glaze over a bit, “go back. Stop it from….”

“No, not here.” She hates the way his eyes ice up, almost. There had almost been something else. She had started it wrong, given him a bit of hope. It’s cruel of her.

“It’ll start a chain reaction, a time collapse. If JENOVA ever starts to spread this fast. We can…stop it, parallel to us.”

He gets the tiny wrinkle in his brows like he doesn’t really understand. Maybe…that’s for the better. She’s going to ask him to do something so horrible. She has no right.

But he’s the one. He can withstand and endure. He can win.

“What do you need me to do?” Cloud asks, always brave and willing.

“The spell needs three things. Pure, as I can find anyway, lifestream, a castor; me, to bounce back to every time it is cast, and…an anchor. To find in other parallels, so it can _travel_ to other parallels.”

“You want me to be the anchor.”

It’s terribly cruel of her to ask.

“Yes.”

“What happens?”

She can’t help it, can’t stop the tears that fall. She turns and stares into the minty green river of life. She feels him step close, a hand lingers over her back, but he doesn’t touch her. He hasn’t touched anyone since the JENOVA cells inside his body started to grow and decay his human flesh. His left hand, probably all mutated, black and bloody under those gloves, have to be by now. She can see his veins all up his forearm, black under his pale skin, sometimes, something moves in them, like little worms.

“I’m so sorry, Cloud.” She manages, “it’s a terrible thing to ask of you.”

He sighs, his hand falls away, “just tell me what happens, Aerith.”

“As an anchor, the spell will locate your spirit through the lifestream, hanging on to all knowledge gained by the caster in that timeline. When the timeline collapses, the spell will transfer all knowledge learned to the caster’s counterpart. However, to keep from getting lost, it needs an anchor, and once it is has found that anchor in the new timeline, it can then find the caster’s counterpart.”

“Mmph.”

She has to hold in a giggle, she’s sure he doesn’t get it now.

“You’ll basically be the wire telling the signal, hey, come here, and then whoever is connected to those wires, the castor, can collect the information.”

“Doesn’t sound too bad.”

“Cloud…this spell. I…it only ends one way. It won’t stop collapsing timelines until it finds a timeline where JENOVA has been eradicated.”

“That’s good. Isn’t that the point.”

Yes, it is, she supposes, “It also needs to be triggered by the anchor to kick start and jump parallels.”

“Okay, how does that happen?”

She doesn’t want to say it.

“Aeri-”

“You _die_.”

He’s very quiet…more than normal.

“Every time?”

“Yes, you have to die every time. It will jump the start of the spell and when your soul goes into the lifestream, it will find your counterpart.”

She wishes her eyes to stop stinging.

“Everyone dies Aerith; doesn’t seem so bad.”

There’s a massive quake around them and then…everything goes silent. Cloud goes completely still and when she turns to look at him, his face is hard, hands grasping his Buster Sword. His left arm, his veins wiggling.

“He’s coming.” He says.

A horrible, ear-piercing screech, so ripping it makes her throat raw. _Sephiroth_ or whatever is left of him.

“Okay, _time’s actually up_ , let’s do it.” Cloud’s watching the door intently as if he can see Sephiroth through all the layers of earth and stone.

“Cloud, you won’t be reborn, it’s not a start from the beginning,” she says in a rush, “there’s…an event that happens frequently in all parallels, if I do this, it will become permanent for you in every single timeline.”

He’s staring at her now like he knows what it is. She’s _so sorry._

“The mako poisoning, Nibelheim.”

Aerith covers her mouth to stop her sob, she knows what that means. It’s not just the suffering of mako poisoning. She’s asking him to kill off his home, his Mother...Tifa's Father, for the rest of time, “yes...your anchor spot will be Nibelheim. It’s the only time in most parallels where you are close enough to lifestream for it to take hold.”

“Will I remember?”

“No…”

“Then do it, Aerith, I don’t care if I have to be fucking brain-dead half my life, we have to stop JENOVA.”

So brave, Cloud….

Another massive quake and Sephiroth’s nightmare voice echoing down into the marble.

“Aerith, _now_. What do you need from me?”

“Your blood.”

No question, he just slices his right arm up his blade, it’s deep.

“Cloud! Not that much.” She gathers a pool of it in her hand, maybe once she might have been gagging, but human blood now seems so, normal.

“Aerith, I have to die anyway.”

Her tears are flowing down her face, she cannot stop them anymore.

“I’m so sorry Cloud.”

“Hey,” the cruel irony, that now she gets to see his smile. She’s forgotten, how soft and tender it is, “just, do me a favor, _other you_.”

She gives him a watery laugh, it’s the least she can do, “Anything.”

“When you learn how to stop JENOVA, pick a timeline where Zack lives…”

Zack…..Zack Fair. She hasn’t thought about him in so long. It’d be past ten years now.

The look in Cloud’s eye, she knows it well. She had it too for him, for Zack. Oh…that sorrow then, for him? _All this time._ Aerith reaches up, and gently touches Cloud’s too bony cheek; his skin feels waxy under her hand.

“You betcha, pretty eyes.”

He laughs, a real laugh. Scratchy and a little flat, but a real one. Here, in the dying of the planet and the last pure place at the end of their time. She feels so lucky.

A pounding on the earth, shaking that doesn’t stop, it just starts to grow and grow and grow.

“Aerith, _anything_ else?”

“No…this is it.” Just the blood. He’s already given her a laugh.

Sephiroth sounds as if he’s just outside the door. She can hear it, in that strange alien voice, whispery and raspy and all wrong-toned.

_Puppet_

_Puppet_

_Puppet_

“You do that spell, I’ll hold him off. Just remember, you give me Zack, I’ll never hold this against you.”

Another watery giggle, “for the entire universe?”

“For all fucking time.”

He’s already opening the door, the stench of JENOVA comes wafting in, and she nearly chokes on it.

“Goodbye, Cloud Strife.”

“See you…flower girl.” That’s right. She used to sell flowers.

He shuts the door behind him. She won’t have much time, he is strong, but they are at the end of their lives and JENOVA’s Sephiroth has been feeding and growing for as long as they have been running.

A small, delicate materia, she pulls it from the rusty caster guard on her wrist, coats it in Cloud’s blood, quickly before it all drips from her fingers.

Holding it carefully, she walks into the pool, to the edge where Gaia is cut and the pure lifestream is flowing up in a gentle wave. Pulling all mana she has left, the small amount she had been saving for months now, she focuses on her heartbeat, slow and steady.

Everything around her starts to shake and she can hear a terrible crunch against the door. Sounds like breaking bones. Cloud…

She drops the materia into the lifestream, and giving the few breathes she’s got left with her mana, she casts PARALLEL.

***

It’s a hard memory to take, the first clear one makes her fall to her knees in the middle of her flower bed at the church. Despair and sorrow, it’s so strong. It is horrible, here in the final timeline, to see how it all began. The other memories are there, blocked, but there. So many of them. She guesses, when the need for her to know, they will become clear as water.

She’s never even met Cloud, not this time’s one, but she cries for him, for all the horrible things she’s made him do. _Still_ making him. The ramifications the spell has put on Cloud, she can see them. Gathering more side effects with every time collapse. The spell has traveled through so many, she can’t _believe_ how many parallels. He must be suffering so much.

She is cruel.

But now that she knows, she is ever thankful, for seeing the beginning first. She can understand better, sort out the links between each jump. And she sees _it_ , Sephiroth’s anger; he’s so very mad, he can’t escape the time collapse. Somewhere, in one of the parallels, he figured it out, that they are jumping timelines. Must be because he’s also stuck in the lifestream. Seems a few things are still hidden from Sephiroth, however. Good. He only knows enough to be frustrated.

If she can hide Cloud a little longer, then maybe, his suffering can end quicker. She’ll ask the flowers; just hold on. Cloud only needs to recover a bit more, he’ll be strong enough to withstand Sephiroth very soon, she knows it. She owes Cloud. He protected her; he’s protected her across all universe and time, her time guardian. She can protect him here. In his final lifetime.

Her heart feels heavy. This is a lot to learn in one morning. It would be nice if she had a distraction.

“Oh!” Footsteps, she knows those footsteps. A long time since she’s heard them, he hasn’t made it to Midgar in any recent parallels. Zack’s finally here.

He comes with a clanking of a sword as usual, should she let him surprise her?

She doesn’t have to fake her joy anyway, as she turns at his slowing footsteps; it’s like a cool breeze in summer. He’s older, of course, it’s been five years. His hair is even longer, muscles a bit more built, and he’s a darker shade of tan, all that walking out in the desert. She knows that story well now too.

“Hey, pretty lady. You called?”

His voice, it’s nice to hear with her own ears. She laughs, a bit hysterical if she’s honest. A burst of joy and she can’t help herself. He’s close to her, just a small skip into his arms.

Huh, he’s much taller than she remembers. Envelopes her completely. He hugs her back just as tight, skin all warm from walking in the morning sun. She still fits well in his big arms. But he’s Cloud’s, she hasn’t forgotten, and she’s glad he has him. They need each other.

Zack’s laugh is warm; he gives her a little squeeze, like the sun, so bright and warm, always warm. Yes, he will do just fine.

“You jerk,” Aerith laughs, pulling away and play-slapping his chest, “keeping me waiting.”

She hates to say it, gets that flash of hurt in his eyes. But it would be weird if she didn’t say anything. She’s sure he’s already surprised she isn’t more put out. She remembers being sad and a little mad that he just never showed up anymore, never answered her letters, but it’s fleeting and she’s just happy that he’s alive. The trace feeling of his spirit entering the lifestream, it makes her heart hurt. She’s just so happy it’s not this parallel.

“Yeah, I know,” at least he gives her a sheepish grin; good she didn’t hurt his feelings too bad.

“You look good Zack,” she pats his chest this time, looking up at him, “wanna tell me what’cha been up too?”

She knows already. A very painful last five years.

“It’s a long story,” Zack says, swipes his hand through his hair like always does when he’s nervous.

“I’ve got nothing but time,” If that’s not truer than ever.

All smiles for him.

He needs them.

***

Cloud remembers Zack waking him, something about going to a different slum for the day, so he’s not surprised when he wakes alone. It’s still early and he’s sore the moment he moves. He’ll have to stretch and not look at the bruising on his thighs, Zack's not here to do anything about it anyway. A note on the table, much of the same as Zack told him, slum 5 then. He's still half asleep, pulling his clothes on, might as well go see if there are any merc jobs to do.

He’s not expecting the frantic knocking at the door. Tifa’s nearly heaving up a lung she’s gasping so hard.

“Cloud!” She shouts as if he’s not right in front of her. Hurts his ears a bit, but he’s alert and awake.

“Tifa, what’s wrong?” He’s already tying up his boots and grabbing his buster-look alike.

“Something has gone wrong.”

Cloud’s following her out the door, but everything looks fine in the slums. Hardly anyone awake yet.

“Oka-y.”That's what he asked, he’ll just follow her-oh, okay, they are running now, “Tifa!”

“I don’t know how Barret got a message through, they’re in trouble.”

Them as in, all four of them? Cloud still doesn’t get what is happening.

“Trouble, where, everything looks fine?”

They have to slow up their run as Tifa leads him towards the train station, “another reactor,” she’s trying to keep her voice low, but she is close to a panic state, “they need our help. Please.”

As if he’s not going to help after chasing her all the way to the station. Cloud doesn’t remember Jessie mentioning another bombing mission happening today. If it's like the last one...Barret’s the only one that can really fight.

“Cloud?”

“Come on,” he’s slipping onto the train just as the doors are dinging close.

“Thank you,” Tifa looks relieved, like she expected him to ditch.

“What, thought no? Alright, I’ll go back to bed.” He’s kidding, Tifa frowns at him till she catches his eye.

She laughs and gives him a little shove, “jerk, I thought you were serious.”

The train dings one last time and starts rolling toward the spiral. Cloud follows Tifa down a few cars, she’s glancing around at an increasingly suspicious rate.

“Tifa,” he carefully grabs her arm, pulls her over to a mostly empty corner, “deep breaths,”

“Right, your right, Sorry. Barret didn’t say much, just used our emergency SOS system.”

“What’s that for?” Cloud asks.

“When they have to abort the mission, but I just checked it and…he sent it _hours_ ago,”

Cloud frowns, ShinRa always plays dirty. Waiting this long, to bomb another reactor. It's not smart, they should have done multiple bombings in a row, or all at once. ShinRa's expecting more of them, they've given ShinRa too much time to prepare.

“Tifa…” Cloud doesn’t really want to say it, how ugly this might be.

“Please, Cloud. I have to at least try.”

His stomach drops. He didn’t even leave a note for Zack.

“Let’s try and make it quick.” If they get back before tonight. Should be just fine. Sense of déjà vu guilt is sitting in his stomach.

Tifa nods and the short ride to Sector 5 is painful. They wait in silence, Tifa’s still a ball of nerves next to him. It’s not good, means she could be jumpy in a fight. He doesn't know what to say either. Just keeps seeing Jessie, Biggs, and Wedge dead. Hours ago...that's too long.

They both tense up at the ID scan, _shit._ He forgot.

“No, it’s okay. Jessie got one for you ahead time. She was going to ask you to join the mission but, Barret shut it down real hard.”

She should have just did it anyway, like the first time.

As the train pulls into sector 5 station, it's already a madhouse. There are massive crowds on the platform and lines of troops all over. When they step off the train, helicopters are roaring in their ears.

“No,” Tifa says, she sounds gutted. From the station, they can see the reactor is smoking, can see gunfire lighting up all around the upper levels. The building seems to be surrounded by ShinRa forces. Getting closer will really tell them, but from first glance, it’s too much firepower for just four people. Overkill.

“Come on,” Cloud breaks into a run, not caring if he knocks into the crowd. Tifa's close on his heels. They have to sneak around large waves of ShinRa troopers and News Media. But all the noise makes it pretty easy. There's just so many of them, it's slowing them up. Cloud’s grinding his teeth the whole time.

When they make it to the street of the reactor, it’s…empty. Blocked off, but no troops, no heavy machinery. Makes the bad feeling in his stomach even worse. Too quiet usually means...

“What?” Tifa says, "no one? That's odd isn't it."

Spells trouble. The entrance is a snap to get through, also not good. The second too.

They find the bodies on the third. A lot of them, too many for Barret and the Avalanche members to do. Tifa's searching through the computers, but Cloud notices an odd burn on some of the dead troops. Avalanche only has the guns, nothing fancy. There are too many bullet holes in some of them too, even for Barret's arm.

"Nothing, looks like half the building is shut down."

"Come on,"

They hear the gunshots on the fourth floor. No dead bodies here. If they were going up each floor and taking out troops, bodies would be on every floor. This is...something weird is going on.

“Sounds like it’s coming from outside,” Cloud says.

“There’s a catwalk staircase, looks like, over here.” Tifa’s already pushing the door open. The gunshots get much louder. It's a scary climb, not much to hold on to and not much to grab if they fall. They only climb a few flights before the gunshots turn into familiar voices and even _more_ gunshots.

“Cloud! Over there,” Tifa’s pointing up, by the T-sky bridge still a level or two above them.

Jessie and Biggs are backed against the edge, waves of drones flying out at them. Cloud can see Jessie's heel slide over the edge a few times. They're being pushed off. There is no time to run back inside and around. Cloud looks around, spots the large piping running along the opposite side. Not much grip and it's a bit far for the first jump, but it’ll have to do.

“Tifa,” he snaps to her side, wrapping an arm around her, “trust me?”

“Of course,”

“Hold on,” Cloud just goes for it. The first jump _is_ far, but getting from the pipe onto the sky bridge is easy, just a glide down and a small hop. Puts him and Tifa on the backside of the drones and in view of Jessie and Biggs.

“Cloud!”

“Tifa!”

They both shout at once, relief immediately crossing their faces. There’s no time to talk, another wave of drones flies up. They are easy to take down, but the amount that keeps showing up. It feels like overkill...like a distraction. His heart is starting to pump too fast. Something's coming, he can feel it. Slash after slash, they keep coming, even with Tifa and Cloud's sudden appearance, they don't seem to be leaving Jessie and Biggs alone. They've only gained a foot back, still far too close to the edge.

“Enough of this,” Cloud’s nearly growling, “Jessie, Biggs, duck.”

That’s all the warning they get before Cloud’s breathing deep and pulling mana from his veins, feels the lightning cracking near his wrist. He creates enough to form a wide wave over his sword, slashing the rest of the drones and sending the wave out into the open air, over Jessie and Biggs. There, clear shot.

“Holy shit,” Jessie’s pushing up from the ground and running at them, Biggs right behind her, “our hero!” she slings her arms around Cloud’s neck at a full run, swinging herself into him for a fast, hard hug.

Biggs isn’t as touchy, just holds out his fist for a bump. Cloud obliges.

“That was close,” he says, “How’d you know we were here?”’

“Saw you from the street,” Cloud says, he’s still fight ready, waiting for more drone waves to pop up.

"More like got the SOS." Tifa gives Cloud a laugh though.

"Barret sent it then? We got separated right away." Biggs says.

“What happened? You were supposed to be back hours ago,” Tifa's already trying to open the door behind them.

“Door won’t open, what do you think we’ve been doing this whole time?” Jessie snaps.

“Someone must have known we were coming. It went to shit the second we got here.” Biggs says, checking behind him every few seconds.

Cloud holds his tongue, no shit someone knew they were coming. How about all of fucking ShinRa. It's still way too quiet, like inside. Feels like lightning is still tickling his skin. This was a trap. Zack's right, the first reactor, it started falling apart before the bomb even went off.

“Yeah, we haven’t even detonated the bomb yet.”

Cloud frowns, “where’s Wedge and Barret?” They need to get them and get the fuck out of here.

“Dunno, they got separated from us near the back entrance.”

“Look, all we gotta do is get this door open, it leads up to the roof, that was our escape route.” Jessie clicks open the top of a hand-held remote, “then I blow this reactor sky high.”

There’s a buzzing in the air right after she’s finished. Great, times up, the trap is on its way. Cloud takes a few steps closer to the end of the sky bridge, a sudden gust of wind tickling his hair, and then, a huge Mech comes shooting up. Cloud doesn’t remember seeing a prototype mech like this. Must be new. And more dangerous. It's _massive._ He can only make out a few components before it shifts it's gears and limbs around until, _shit._ Four massive cannons rise out of its shoulders and sides. He knows he saw the speed packs too. This is going to hurt.

A lot.

“Any day now,” Cloud calls over his shoulder, widening his stance. It's hovering too far a distance for him to slash at. Guess it's time to run his mana.

“Oh! I got it.” Turns out, it's not Tifa’s hacking skills, but, Wedge and Barret. Standing a bit stupidly on the other side as the door swings open.

“Tifa?” Barret’s surprised.

“Cloud?” Wedge is already out on the sky bridge with them. Which, _no,_ back get back inside. Hello, giant murder robot out here. Huh, Zack must be rubbing off on him. That's far to ranty for him. Almost hears it in Zack's voice too.

“Get moving!” Cloud yells, the cannons are drawing in energy and wind. It's pulling Cloud closer to the edge, getting ready to blast them any second. He takes another deep breath and pulls at the mana in him, time to start taking some shots.

And then.

_Static._

It cuts Cloud so sharply and strongly he nearly drops his sword. He feels his whole body jerk and his right knee gives out.

“Cloud!” Someone…someone’s calling him. He can’t move. Barely gets his head up to look down the barrel of energy cannons about to blast. He's got to move...

Static, there’s so much, he can’t hear anything else. Can’t feel anything, just the splitting pain all down his body.

Gradually, a laugh, haunting and cold-so quiet, why's his laugh have to be so quiet.

“There you are. Trying to hide from me, Cloud?”

_No._

A pain in his chest, he can feel the ghost of a long thin blade, it’s ripping open his chest. When he glances down there’s no blade, but he can feel it. It was there, it _is_ there. It’s burning.

_“Je-”_

“I can stop the pain Cloud.” Silver hair, there’s so much silver. A touch, it burns his skin.

_“-nova.”_

Every time Sephiroth talks, a whispering follows, an echo…so…foreign sounding.

_Puppet._

“Just give in, Cloud,”

So much pain. Silver and pain.

“It’ll stop if you give in to me.”

_Puppet_

Burning, he’s burning, from the inside out.

_Puppet_

**Puppet**

“Cloud.”

Static, so much static, roaring in his ears. Sounds like a cannon. His ears must be bleeding, it’s so loud.

“Hey, pretty eyes.”

Nothing, everything’s silent and…Zack?

“Come on, Cloudy-Sky.”

The pain is gone. Just warmth and…tired. He’s so tired.

“Keep going, almost there.”

Zack…

A shimmery shatter and then everything’s rushing back at him. Feels vertigo in his head.

Jessie, Biggs, Wedge, and Tifa are all circling around him, hard for him to make out their bodies, but they have him enclosed tight, their backs to him. Protecting him? Why. Feels hot, there’s a lot of wind.

“Barret,” Tifa…sounds so far away. Cloud can’t move still, “we need another SHIELD, that thing’s powering back up!”

“You got it, Girl, just give me a moment.”

Barret, he’s too close to the edge.

“Mo-” His voice, it’s stuck in his throat, not working. His whole body jerks, short, weird motions, he can’t control it, “-ve…go-tta, m-move.”

“Cloud!” Jessie’s kneeling next to him, and the other three close tighter, “hey, just hold on,”

“N-no…got…to…move,” He's supposed to be protecting them.

“Don’t worry, SOLDIER,” she’s sliding an arm around his back, hauling him up to his feet. Doesn’t feel as hard as before.

“Guys, let’s move, he’s up!” Jessie’s pulling him with her, scooting to the side so Barret can rush past them, firing his gauntlet arm the whole time. Wedge goes next, back into the open door, then Biggs.

Tifa’s whole body is glowing with her chakra mana, bright against the shadow of the mech. She looks, so powerful, alone, standing down a monster. She sends a massive wind force with her punch. It offsets two of the cannons, they are almost all blue. Almost ready to shoot.

“Tifa!” Jessie shouts in his ear.

From the door, Barret’s blasting through rounds in seconds and Wedge has already dropped his rifle for a backup pistol.

“Come on, let’s go pretty eyes,” She’s basically dragging him to the doorway. Tifa...oh, good, she rushes past them.

Almost there, just a bit farther.

There’s a warm heat, below…from below. Cloud sees it, an explosion, rushing up at them.

_Jessie._

Adrenaline courses his veins; he pushes away from her, grabs her arm, and tosses her into the open door.

Fire, there’s so much fire around him. Screaming, feels like...Nibelheim.

“Cloud!”

A horrible ripping of metal and the bridge below his feet gives way.

“CLOUD!”

There’s static.

Zack…

***

“There, finished!” He can’t really see what she’s doing, but her delicate hands keep disappearing around his head and then back for more flowers.

“Aren’t you supposed to be selling those?”

Aerith laughs, easy and airy, “I think these ones like being in your hair more.”

Feels as if he’s seen her every day for the last five years. It’s nice, not having to overthink. She’d been kind enough to take the short version of his disappearance. Probably sensed his anxiety. She’s good at that.

“Wanna see?” She’s pulling a small pocket mirror from her red jacket.

He looks, ridiculous. She’s put so many flowers in his hair, all tucked under his thick strands. He’s almost got more flowers than hair now.

“Oh, yeah. I’ll totally be taken seriously as a merc.”

Aerith laughs again, crashes down next to him with a friendly bump, “you know, you could just give that up and help me at the orphanage.”

She’s sweet.

“What, give up my tough guy manly-man job?”

She laughs again, so easy if only everything were that easy.

"I know, you like the fighting." Ha, not so much fighting these days. More like running, "mmm? Zack?"

"Maybe I will give it up," He can't quite manage to keep the weary tone out of his laugh.

"You can't," Aerith's suddenly serious, her eyes a little sad. Makes them look more green, "it's your dream, right? Protecting people. Merc's can be good at that, too."

How does she know, every time? Just like Cloud, the two of them, just blurting out the right thing to say when they have no idea. Always pulling him back together when he's not expecting it. Protecting people, just a different target. Changes in war all the time, why wouldn't it outside of war as well? He can feel the cracks starting to mend back together.

Aerith stands, dusts the pollen from her dress, and smiles down at him, “I’m glad your back. Even if you don’t wanna tell me how much it sucked.”

Yeah, can’t get anything by her. Zack chuckles, brings his knees up, and leans on them, “yeah, it definitely sucked.” His tires not to get sucked in memories.

She hums at him, taps his nose to get his attention, “you know, that means it was worth it. The really hard things turn out to be the most rewarding. Don’t you think?

Again then, he must be really showing how lost he is. Feels like getting punched. Sometimes, that's just what he needs. Maybe he’s just in the middle of the fight. He can't just give up now, there are better things waiting for him at the end. Like no more fucking running. 

“Zack?” it’s always her long sandy hair he sees first, whenever she’s tilting her head at him.

Cloud’s always tilting his head at him too. And he always gets that cute little smirk when he does. And the sassy hip, it makes Zack laugh, how weirdly sassy Cloud’s body language can be.

“He-lo, lovey-dovey eyes, where’d you go?”

“Sorry,” he can feel his cheeks flush. Huh, He never gets embarrassed, must be because he knows what comes next with Aerith.

Aerith’s gasp is over the top and when she crouches down, she's all wide smiles and knowing looks in her eyes, “you were thinking about someone.” She accuses him, “Who are they? Tell me!”

“U-h, come on, you don’t wanna know about that.”

“Are they cute? I bet they’re a major cutie. That’s your type you know.”

Zack laughs, “oh, I have a type, huh?”

“Yeah, a major cutie, duh. Are you even listening?”

He’d give her the laugh she’s looking for-

But there is a sudden loud snapping sound of wood and glass.

And someone fucking falls on him, knocks the breath from his lungs.

***

It makes her shout, just a small one. Zack’s looking a little stunned and there, half on him, half in her flower bed, is Cloud Strife.

“Cloud!”

And then it’s making her laugh. Today, of all days, it’s today. How could she have not realized?

Zack’s staring at her in disbelief, “did you just-”

Oops, right. She doesn’t know Cloud yet. This whole timeline memory thing might be harder than she thought.

“Uh, flowers, my flowers!” She can’t seem to rid the smile off her face though, she’s excited, to meet Cloud again.

Lucky her, Zack has a small attention span and the moment he realizes it _is_ Cloud on top of him, his brows crease into worry and oh-

Zack was always a sweetheart with her. Flirty, but respective, thoughtful, and kind.

The look on his face as he’s looking at Cloud though, she’s never seen that look. He’s shifting more into her flower bed (which hey….), curling Cloud’s unconscious body into his, tucking him in between his legs and placing Cloud’s head on the curve of his shoulder. He looks to her in astonishment as he wraps an arm around Cloud to support his back. It's just a quick flicker of his eyes, the smallest noise from Cloud has his attention again. Bringing the most gentle brush of his knuckles across Cloud’s cheek. As if he’s been doing it for years.

Zack is in the sunspot in her flower bed, they look so beautiful together, among the flowers and the sun rays. She almost wants to leave them alone, but they _really_ need to get off her flowers, one ex-SOLDIER at a time please.

“See, I was right,” she says, leaning into their space and peering at Cloud. He looks fine, maybe a few scratches, “major cutie.”

Zack smiles, not at her, at Cloud’s relaxed face, clearly still distracted, "yeah," he says dreamily. So adorable.

Cloud's brow wrinkles and he flutters his lashes up at Zack. Aerith uprights herself and spins around to give them some space. She doesn’t know this Cloud, but she’s known him enough before to guess that he’s just as guarded in this time too.

“Zack?” he sounds very confused, “why’s there flowers in your hair?” She tries not to giggle, peeks a glance over her shoulder. Some survived the dramatic fall, but most have ended up on the ground.

Zack lets him sit up, his hands hovering around him, clearly worried about unseen injuries. It’s impressive really. Aerith can’t believe both of them have come crashing through the church without dying. That's a long drop from the upper plate. It' still cute how closely Zack is hovering around him, but, they are _still_ on her flowers.

“Oka-y, anytime you wanna get off my flowers now.”

The speed Cloud twists around to look at her, he'll have whiplash, she winces. Ouch.

“Who-”

She tries to look innocent, remember, she tells herself, Cloud’s a skittish little kitty in the beginning. She wiggles her fingers at him, “Hi, I’m Aerith.”

Zack’s at least getting off her flower bed, freaking _finally_. He knows better.

“She’s a friend, Cloud.” Zack’s saying, so quietly, like Cloud’s just going to up and slice his sword at her.

“Ahem, flowers?” she points at the ground.

Cloud must have settled on her being a non-threat, he gets all flustered and stands up too quickly, a little off-balance, “S-sorry.” Backs up right into Zack.

So adorable. My god, was he this cute in all her timelines? She can’t seem to pull those memories up yet. At least only a little of her flowers have been crushed. They’ll survive. She hears them bristle at her as if they disagree.

“Why are you falling through ceilings, Spikes?” Zack is asking Cloud, he’s got his fingers tangling in Cloud’s hair, standing very close to him. Personal space, she laughs to herself, clearly Zack does not know what that is. Cloud seems to like it, even if he looks a bit like he’s going to just sock Zack one in the gut.

Cloud doesn’t say anything, but she doesn’t miss Cloud’s hunching shoulders, it’s subtle. Aerith can feel the air getting tense; Cloud seems to be waiting for a reaction that doesn’t happen. It makes Zack sigh and presses forward to brush his lips against Cloud’s forehead. She feels as if she’s violating their privacy, she turns from them again and sees a shadow move? Yeah, there it is again, a shadow moving by the doorway. If she listens hard enough, helicopters? Aerith sighs; she really doesn’t feel like dealing with them today.

“So, not to interrupt, but looks like we gotta go.” She says, not even bothering to wait for them to answer her. She grabs an arm each and pulls them to the back room of the church, careful of all the rubble and dust.

The three of them lean against the back wall, Cloud’s giving her the harshest glare. Must be he doesn’t like her touching him. She lets go, peeks around the doorway for a quick look.

“Yo, princess. I know you’re here, saw you coming this way an hour ago.” Ah, she was hoping it wasn’t Reno. Rude’s much nicer to talk with.

Zack’s whole body behind her freezes, leans down, “Is that fucking Reno?” he asks. He’s peaking around the doorway too and curses, “What the hell do the Turks want with you?”

She shrugs, flashing Cloud a smile, he’s looking a little…sick, “Maybe they want me for SOLDIER.”

Zack’s shoulders are shaking with laughter, but Cloud just frowns a bit more. That’s okay, she’ll get him to laugh sooner or later.

“Let’s get rid of him,” Cloud’s already reaching for his sword.

“No!” shit, she said that too loud, let’s go of Cloud’s arm at the heat from his glare.

They hear Reno’s footsteps stop, the last one echos loudly around the high ceilings.

They can’t just hide back here forever; she motions for them to follow her. It’s harder to be quiet with everything in the church being a mess. They have to climb over a fallen wall, go up some creaky ladders. She just makes it up onto the second floor when Reno sticks his head through the doorway. All three of them hunch down. He’s got two troopers with him, but Aerith doesn’t see Rude anywhere. Must be visiting Mom then.

Somehow, they manage to get up to the roof without Reno seeing or hearing them. Zack did his best to ruin it, snickering at the redhead every time they were just above him. It made Cloud smile, so she can't be too annoyed. There’s no helicopter hovering, means Reno’s probably walking back to the slums; they’ll have to jump around the ruins. Hopefully not run into him when they get back to the main road.

“You boys okay with roof hoping?” She turns to them, catches Zack pulling some dusty lint from Cloud’s hair.

“Are you?” Cloud asks, rather coldly. Zack flicks him in the shoulder with a small frown. Earns himself a glare.

It’s alright, Aerith knows she doesn’t really look up to the task, no way is giving up her sundresses though, so flowy. She smiles and shrugs, “Try to keep up!” and just slides down the rusty ladder.

It's more fun climbing over the rooftops with friends. She notices when Cloud's leading, he chooses safer paths to go down, even if they are slower and longer. Sweetie already, even if he is glaring and snapping at both her and Zack the whole way. Luckily, Reno is nowhere in sight and about halfway she mostly forgets they need to be watching out for him. The rooftops hold, just a few scary spots that are a little high for her liking, but, she does have two SOLDIER boys eyeing her every step. Helps her be a bit more confident. Except for that one jump down to solid ground, that was a bit high. Zack catches her in the stumble, laughing at her the whole time.

***

Cloud knows he’s being a dick. He doesn’t need Zack smacking the back of his already hurting head, or clicking his tongue at him when he’s too cold to Aerith. That name sounds familiar to him and he knows the smell of those flowers. He thinks Zack mentioned her when he was comatose. It’s all fuzzy and it’s just making his headache worse. Zack’s very friendly with her; it’s only…slightly irritating. They laugh the whole time and are both equally as touchy, even with him. But he doesn’t know half the things they are talking about, they clearly have old jokes that Cloud doesn’t get. He feels…intruding, with his snippy comments and quietness. Half the time it feels as if they forgot he was there. It's not really fair of him to think that, Zack's got constant attention on him, it's why he knows he's being a dick.

There’s a low level of static humming in his brain and his back is killing him. He can’t stop thinking about the reactor. He threw Jessie through the doorway in time, must have, she didn’t end up down here with him. Unless she fell somewhere else. He’s pissed that he just let them down too. Couldn’t take it when they needed him, blacked out on them. Why, why does it just come out of nowhere? Other times it's just there, a buzzing that won't stop, like right now.

The static gets a bit louder and his headache pulses.

He’s tired. Dragging behind Zack and Aerith, too far behind to hear what they are saying. Zack looks so relaxed. Cloud’s never seen him like this. Guilt stabs at his chest out of nowhere and then some anger.

He’s…jealous? Why…

Zack’s flirty with Tifa and Jessie. So why?

His headache pulses again. He’s got to snap out of it, always doing this. Being a shit to Zack, he doesn’t deserve it. There’s that guilt again, it’s making it hard for him to remember things, and every time he looks at Aerith too long, the static gets…faster? More. It’s irritating.

When they reach the station, there’s another Turk touching down across the way and spooks Aerith or irritates her more like. They double back and go through all the junk and ruins. Fun, its real _fun_. And long, Cloud’s going to start killing more than fiends if they don’t get out of this maze soon. He doesn’t get why they are just avoiding them, should just take them out. Zack’s onboard for avoiding though. Why, cause he knows them? Who cares, they are ShinRa.

When they finally get into the main slum area, Cloud can feel his stomach rolling. Great, static, and the mako all in one day. Zack’s saying something to him, but he can’t focus. There are too many people around, too much pain in his body. He needs to be…away.

Zack’s grabbing his arm; he didn’t realize he just turned the other way. His hand feels like it’s burning on his skin, the static throbs and Cloud just _can’t_ do this right now.

He jerks roughly out of Zack’s grasp. Doesn’t even bother looking for the hurt on his face, it's there. He's a dick, apparently, a jealous dick. The flare of it keeps appearing in his chest. He hates it, why is he like this?

Just…he’s just got to getaway.

The static

Static

……

_Puppet_

***

Zack expects Cloud to sulk a little, the poor guy just fell through a building, and from the news blasting on the TV when they get into town, he fell all the way from the plate too. He should be dead. It makes Zack’s chest tighten. He’s _not_ expecting Cloud to pull away from him so violently, staring at him with such betrayal in his eyes. Only lasts for a moment before they get all glossy and then empty. Cloud’s eyes go completely blank, like when he was comatose. That chases away the hurt in Zack’s stomach real fast, right into panic.

He catches Cloud before he falls to the ground. He's a complete dead weight, Zack can't stop the panic building in his chest. Just when he was finally mending his other problems, his main one comes crashing back to him. He feels guilt riding the panic wave, he should've known. Cloud's been overly guarded and cold and the glossy eyes; must be static. He shifts Cloud against him, having a bit more trouble with the sword on his back, but he manages.

It's the whispers around him that widens his narrowed attention, there’s a lot of people around and a lot of them know Aerith, so a lot of eyes too. He doesn't really want to listen to gossip spreading and hushed questions of what's going on. Just makes him feel worse.

“Aerith,” Zack pulls Cloud closer against his chest, turning to find her staring at them with weirdly glossy eyes. What's with all the glossy eyes lately, everyone's got them. Makes him think he's missing something.

“What happened?” She asks, looking guilt-ridden. She's peering over Zack's arms, on her toes to look at Cloud.

“I don’t know,” Zack says. Static fills his head the moment he says it. Just a lull. Not like before, none of the rage. He shifts Cloud’s weight and tightens his grip, "can we get somewhere less busy?"

"Yes, of course, come on. My house is just up this way," She starts leading him down quieter side streets, even though most of the crowds all watching the news down on the main one. He follows her, anxiety gripping him with every step, the static in his mind is still low, but he hasn't heard it near a week now. Blows his whole 'pretending it didn't really happen plan'. Cloud feels cold in his arms. No one really stops them, the few people they do come across. There's a moment when a group of orphan kids comes running up to them, but Aerith quickly turns them away.

Zack's never been to Aerith's house, he notices more plant life the closer they get, but coming out of the shadows from the narrow red rock walls, it's breathtaking. Zack's never seen anywhere so green in Midgar, maybe even the rest of the land. Nibelheim was gorgeous, mountain town of course, but the fire's ruined that image for him. He always thought Aerith just took the flower thing in small strides, but the lush and variety growing over every inch is impressive. Almost impossible.

She leads him over another small bridge and up to the rusty red house tucked in against the massive rock walls. She opens the doors and calls for her mother, but no one answers.

“Come on, there’s a guest bedroom just up the stairs.”

He can almost believe he's not in the slums, just an older house somewhere on the upper plate. It's comforting, just like Aerith is. Doesn't calm the worry all that much. Cloud's blank eyes won't leave his head.

Aerith's grabbing an extra pillow from the window seat and steps gracefully out of Zack's path to the small bed. It's a bit of a struggle, but Zack manages to get Cloud's weapon off without putting him down. Aerith rushes to take it from him and put it safely against the window seat. He takes Cloud's armor and weapon harness, it'll just dig into him. Cloud's still chilled to the touch and he's pale. So much...so much like before. What if Cloud’s back in comatose? Is it even possible to revert that much...the mako he's been throwing up. Fuck, he should've started looking for answers by now.

Static is still in his head. Not any worse. His hands are shaking.

"Zack?" Aerith's come and gone, brought more pillows and blankets. He laughs flatly, it's a bit much, Cloud's gonna disappear into them. Ugh, for some reason, that makes his eyes sting.

Damnit.

"It's okay, Zack, he's alright, just needs some rest."

Those eyes...she didn't see his eyes. He wants to be over-reacting, but he just can't shake the feeling he's not. There's too much he's missing. Like fucking always, just the same with Angeal.

"Do you...have any ginger?" he asks instead of arguing. She's helped him enough, set him back on the right track. He's got to deal with this one.

"Yeah, tea? I have some crystallized, raw root too."

"Any, he gets sick, sometimes. From the mako poisoning."

There's that flash of recognition in her eyes, something he's still missing then.

"Sure, I'll bring up some water and food too." She's hovering, probably trying to make sure he's alright as well. He nods, sits heavily on the mattress, and leans on Cloud.

She looks sadly past his shoulder and nods, she leaves him with a small smile.

His eyes are still stinging and he tries to focus on the noise Aerith's making downstairs. Static is still there.

***

It's well past midnight. He'd drifted off for a few minutes in the evening, but Aerith and her Mother woke him up with their arguing. Surprised him, Aerith sounded so, infuriated. It's unlike her. It's all quiet and still now. Cloud's moved in his sleep, a good sign, he's not cold to the touch anymore either. Moves his head too when Zack tickles his face with his knuckles. It doesn't really help the knot of worry in him. It was just, shocking, he's accepted that Cloud is better, but now. How much better is he really?

He needs to move, too much energy. He feels bad, leaving the house, leaving Cloud alone upstairs. He just needs some fresh air for a while. He won’t have to disturb Aerith or her Mother. The garden is calming in the dark, the waterfall loud in his ears. He walks the paths multiple times, thinking if he just gets some energy out, he’ll feel better.

A few hours and a bunch of push-ups later, he just feels worse. So he sits down instead, hidden from the main pathways. His eyes are stinging again. He’s stressed. That blankness in Cloud’s eyes, he's obsessing over it. Not until Cloud's awake, he doesn't think he can stop. He should but...he’s so dumb. All that mako Cloud’s been throwing up, no way it’s not affecting him. It’s his fault, he still has no idea what’s happening to Cloud. Almost a month in Midgar. Instead of trying to help, he just…hoped it would get better, go away. It’s his _fault._

And now…fuck. Aerith thinks Cloud’s fine and Zack knows she is right. She’s just never seen his eyes like that before, scared him too much. Zack’s eyes won’t stop stinging. He's alone, it's dark, might as well let the flood gates open now. Feels…like a release, Aerith’s garden is nice and cool, just the soft light from the lamp across the path. There are lots of hidden spots to just be. And the far garden has a nice curved wall he can lean against. All the ferns and fireflies remind him of Gongaga. It’s comforting, at least a little.

He's probably been out here for a while longer, finally chilling on the tears, when he hears soft footsteps coming around the path. He doesn’t really want to talk to anyone, so he stills his breathing as best he can until Aerith walks by.

“Zack?”

_Cloud._

Zack’s head shoots up, remembering his fucking red eyes a second too late. He doesn’t have his bangs to hide behind anymore, so he’s sure Cloud sees the wetness on his face. Damn, didn't want to worry him. It almost makes him laugh, the two of them, constantly trying not to worry about each other. It's not working out too well.

Hesitant footsteps, Cloud’s walking so quietly on the grass, he doesn’t have his boots on. He seems more…vulnerable like that. He stands in front of Zack, looks better, no emptiness in his eyes, that eases away almost all the panic at once. It also makes him feel the bite of embarrassment, he's never been ashamed of crying, just didn't really expect Cloud to catch him doing so.

Cloud makes a soft sound and steps on either side of Zack’s legs. His weight comes down on slowly, and even though Zack can see what he’s doing, his stupid crying brain is still surprised that Cloud’s suddenly sitting in his lap. He straddles Zack, still leaning on his knees. The closeness keeps Zack from looking up into Cloud’s face. He sees Cloud make an abortive move about three times before his hands slide into his hair. Zack almost laughs. He's so softy touching him as if he’s afraid Zack will break. Does Cloud feel like this when Zack’s this tender with him? He gets all the embarrassed glares now.

His hands are a little cold from the night air, but they run through his hair with a nice pressure, making him drowsy. He’s near drifting when there’s a strong tug; forced to look up, Cloud’s holding his head in place. He’s not sure what he’s expecting. But the worry and understanding is written all over Cloud’s face, not just his eyes. It’s the most open Cloud’s been.

Zack’s eyes sting all over again. Cloud inhales a bit, clearly not expecting Zack just to start crying again. He's not really expecting it either, so surprise!

Cloud slowly moves in close, he lingers just as he’s about to kiss Zack like he's not sure if it’s the right thing to do. Zack wants him too, badly. He just…he’s out of it for sure. Fucking crying is the worst.

Somehow, Cloud’s eyes soften even more and he presses in with more sureness, the gentlest press of his lips. Just a small one, pulls back so he can see Zack’s eyes before kissing him again, a little longer, and again, a little more pressure. More each time, until he’s not pulling back at all. Just a nice, steady pressure against him. Zack sighs against Cloud, moves to cradle Cloud close to him. Bends his legs up, so Cloud can lean on his thighs and knees. His arms around Cloud's back, and pulls him down a bit more into his lap. Cloud’s hands are sliding down from his hair, grazing his neck and resting on his chest, just over his collar bones. Their lips part very slowly, a pleasant wet stick. Cloud pulls away as if he’s physically unable. Fuck, the look he gives Zack, looking through his long blonde lashes, affection shining through. He's just slightly awkward at it, but he's being so sweet to him. So sweet it's painful, he hikes Cloud closer, arms tight around his narrow waist, and Zack pushes up to find his lips again, more…needy this time.

It’s not rough, but desperate, needs to be touching Cloud, it settles everything in his soul, the weariness, the sadness, his guilt, fuck he’s so relieved Cloud’s not slipped back into that fucking coma. He's going to make sure he doesn't from here on out too.

Frantic short kisses; Cloud’s already making those fucking breathless sounds. His toned arms are sliding from their spot on Zack’s chest, linking behind his neck and pressing their bodies close. Cloud’s on his knees again, not really settled into Zack’s lap, just hovering and pressing up against him. Zack has to reach for his lips, (briefly laughing to himself, Cloud's always gotta do this, being so short.) but he’s got the perfect reach for Cloud’s neck, the spot that meets his clavicle. He’s gotta pull the turtleneck down to get at it. Zack sucks in a kiss there, swiping his tongue into the dips around the bones. He’s still got fucking tears drying on his face, but he’s too turned on with Cloud cradling his head with his arms, hands buried into his hair, the soft exhales and firm press of his body. It’s fucking beautiful.

They break apart with heavy breaths.

“Zack.” So quiet, in the night air. The way he says his name, low and heartbreaking. Zack’s lungs are getting those pins and needles.

He looks the most beautiful Zack’s seen him. All the fireflies and the warm lamplight, every little light reflecting in his blue, blue eyes, making the mako glow an ever softer green. Zack bends his knees up some more, so Cloud is trapped between his thighs and his stomach. He can’t stop running his hands all up Cloud’s back, down around his sides. He wants to be inside him so badly, needs it.

Cloud’s still at the perfect angle for Zack to nose at his jaw, licking into the spot just under his ear. Cloud’s arms tighten more on Zack’s shoulders. He gives him little hums the more Zack travels down his neck. He reaches down between them, looking into Cloud’s eyes as he slowly unbuttons his pants, asking for permission. Slides the cloth down just enough to expose Cloud to him, just to the top of his thighs.

Zack leans in, presses his face against Cloud’s collarbone.

“Let me inside you?” he mutters, finally trusting his voice not to shatter.

Cloud pulls his head back to look into his eyes, a heated kiss as Zack’s answer. Cloud’s dropping his hands from his shoulders, slipping down between them and pulling Zack’s cock out. He slides right up along the curves of Cloud's barely covered ass. He can feel lube? It’s slick already against Cloud’s entrance, very slick.

Fuck, he prepped himself for Zack. How _sweet_. Also fucking _when,_ Zack’s only been out here for a few hours and where did he get the lube? Thinking about that…Cloud fingering himself for him. Fuck…probably shouldn't think too hard about it happening in Aerith's house though.

Zack reaches down, lining up good to start pushing in, but Cloud’s lifting his hips away.

“I’ll do it.” Cloud murmurs against Zack’s lips, his whole chest thumps roughly, lungs heart and all.

Fuck, Cloud’s taking care of _him._

He’s been dumb...dumb to think Cloud wouldn't help soothe him. Cloud does that just being around him, fuck, the emotion in his eyes, so determined to make Zack feel better. Yeah, Zack is the biggest dumb.

Cloud sinks his weight down on him, a little too quickly, his gasps are filled with quiet “ah”s just shy of painful. It doesn't stop him, sinks down all the way until he’s leaning back against Zack’s bent knees, Zack fully inside him. Zack groans, probably too loudly, they are not that far from the house. He should try to control himself. He pushes his face into Cloud's, pressing needy kisses against any skin he touches. Fuck, Cloud is so tight.

Cloud's still for a moment, bringing his shaky arms back up to rest on Zack’s shoulders. Slowly, testing to see if he’s hurting or not, Cloud lifts his hips up, almost all the way off Zack, he holds, using Zack’s shoulders as his leverage. Cloud lets his own weight push him back down, taking all of Zack inside him again, quickly.

He’s so _so_ tight, feels like they haven’t fucked at all.

Zack can’t stop looking at Cloud’s face. It’s not guarded, completely open. Maybe he feels safe to be in the dark. Zack’s never going to look away. He looks so beautiful. That slight flush on his cheekbones, the way he’s biting his lip when he retakes Zack’s cock into him. His eyes are closed though; Zack wants to see those beautiful eyes when he comes.

“Look at me,” Zack says, shit. He sounds ruined already, all raw. He can’t help it, Cloud just fucking _destroys_ him.

There’s the best shade of blue. Fucking, gets a good moan from him.

Zack keeps his hands skimming Cloud’s sides, he can feel the tremors in Cloud’s arms. The slight stutter of his hips as he starts pulling up faster. The fucking gasps and widening of his eyes when he finds the angle that’s so good for the both of them. He’s pulling himself up with Zack’s shoulders now, the pleasure starting to be too much, he can see it Cloud’s eyes.

Feels like hours they fuck, Cloud a steady pace, staring right into Zack’s soul the whole time.

Even when they are both close and Zack reaches between them, stroking Cloud’s dripping cock. Doesn’t even look away then, and when Cloud comes, Zack can see the universe exploding in his eyes, all glossy with lights and wide and _glowy_. Cloud's eyes and the fucking loudest gasp of air, pushes Zack over the edge. Pulls his orgasm out of him so fast and hard, it’s exhausting. He’s buried deep inside Cloud and he can feel his cock twitching, fuck he’s still coming.

Cloud’s finally hiding his face, curled down. His whole body is shaking so much, Zack can’t say his isn’t either. He watches his own hands trembling as he gently helps Cloud slid off his cock. Zack tucks them both back in, pulls Cloud back down into his lap. They are a complete mess.

He’s just bout to speak, when Cloud reaches up, presses his thumb against Zack’s cheek, traces the scar on Zack’s jaw.

‘You okay?’ Cloud doesn’t say it aloud, but his eyes do, searching Zack’s face for any more signs of sadness. Guess it’s his turn to hide away in Cloud’s shoulder. Hugs him tight and close. Cloud’s hands are soothing in his hair the whole time. He does feel better, the mending Aerith started, finally feels like it's finished. It's why he's dumb, took him running away from Cloud to realize. He doesn't need too.

They stay out in the darkness for a long time like that, letting the fireflies and the night breeze soothe them.

***

Aerith is already up, so she hears when Cloud’s softly padding down her staircase. He’s barefoot, cute. Makes him seem cuddlier than he was yesterday. She doesn’t think he expects her to be the only one up, judging by the slight widening of his eyes. Too bad for him, it's just her. Her mother went into town early today, something about not wanting to deal with SOLDIER boys. Aerith almost feels bad about their argument, mostly because she knows it woke up Zack.

Cloud's frozen on the last step, clearly trying to decide if he should just go back upstairs. She’s not trying to be mean, but the sudden look of utter panic that flashes through his baby blues is just too funny. Embarrasses easily, for sure.

“I’m not going to bite, you know.” She’s setting the table, already has food going on the stove. She knows how much Zack can eat. And with _two_ mako enhanced boys in her house, she’s making double. Buttermilk waffles and fresh berries and jam from the bushes by the orphanage. She remembers Cloud’s sweet tooth. Maybe it’ll warm him up to her a bit. She motions for him to sit. He does.

“Um-”

“So-”

They start at the same time. She feels touched, he feels bad about yesterday then, based on the look away game he’s playing.

“Hi, I’m Aerith,” she starts, sticking her hand in front of him. She gets the judgiest look of all time, “starting over? Isn’t that what we are doing?”

“Yeah…”

Still shy then, “too cheesy?” She laughs, “okay, how bout I know you apologized in your head, so I’ll forgive you.”

“Mmph.”

“Friends?” She can’t help smiling at him, he's just so endearing. She's relieved to see him with more color in his skin and not furrowed pain in his face.

“I don’t know you.” His eyes widen immediately after as if he is just on auto-pilot and didn’t mean to say it.

“Almost-friends, then?”

He laughs; at least, she thinks it’s a laugh. His eyes don’t look harsh anymore. Doesn't matter really, she already knows, he's the skittish kitty. Cute.

She’s just checking to see if her waffle-maker is being temperamental today when Cloud clicks his tongue at her like their conversation wasn't over.

“…Sorry…about, yesterday.” The most painful thing on all of Gaia for him, she’s sure. She doesn’t remember other timeline Cloud’s being this shy.

“It's okay” she comes over, sits upon the table next to him, “If I fell through a church ceiling I think I’d be pretty douchey too.”

Finally, a real laugh. It’s very quiet, but it’s there. She knew she’d get him to.

“So, wanna help me make some waffles,” he looks pretty hesitant, she pouts a little, “it’ll probably get Zack all hot and bothered seeing you in a frilly apron.”

She’s just teasing, but the blush that blooms across his face, actually, totally, one hundred percent makes up for his shitty attitude yesterday.

“No frills.” He’s trying to make the glare work, but the blush.

Aerith laughs again and pats his shoulder, “Alright fi-ne, you can still get him all hot and bothered by cooking for him.”

He follows her into the kitchen despite the very put off expression. She doesn’t tie a frilly apron around his waist, but it’s got little blue poke-dots all over, and it has a more feminine cut to it. She just smiles innocently at him and shoves a whisk and massive mixing bowl into his arms. For all the pouting at the start, Cloud does what she asks and doesn't actually need that much direction with the baking, even if it is pretty simple. Must have been a Mama's boy this one. For all his counterparts she's known. He's got the most delicate touch.

The batter is almost done and she’s just finishing up pouring the fresh jam into a serving dish when heavy footsteps start down the stairs. Oh, perfect timing; she takes a big glop of the jam and holds it out to Cloud.

“Cloud, taste this, too sweet?” She purposely smears it over his lips, whoops, little too much. She laughs sheepishly at Cloud's glare. He's looking all cute and messy though, licking the sugar from his lips. She totally hears Zack slip on the last step. She notices his ears are all tipped red too when he walks into the kitchen.

"Good?"

“Mmm.” Yep, still got the sweet tooth.

“Morning?” Zack says, there’s a bit of strain there. Good, now she’s got both of them back for traumatizing her poor flowers last night.

“Good morning, Zack.”

She decides she’s teased Cloud enough, seeing as he can’t even let Zack press against him without a shy frown showing up on his face. By late morning, Cloud's getting restless and she knows the two of them have to head back to Slum 7. It's also when her mother comes home, still looking stern about SOLDIERS being in her house. Aerith understands, but, it's not anything her Mother can stop. She's more friendly to the Turks that come around, in reality, Aerith thinks they are more a threat. She's not sure how she can convince her that her fate is pretty set at this point, of her own doing too.

Aerith ushers them out of the house and puts them to work for a bit. She’s got a few bouquet requests, so she makes them pick flowers with her and fill baskets. Cloud yet again has a delicate touch with them. Unlike Zack, who doesn’t even pay attention to what he’s walking on most of the time. Eventually, she just stops him on the rocky path and makes him hold all the baskets. Most of the flowers are for the orphanage, and the community center next door. So they head out into town after dropping them off. She keeps getting asked for favors and she knows they need to get to Slum 7, but Zack keeps accepting them for her. It’s sweet, but Cloud’s head is going to explode if he has to talk to one more kid. His eyes lock onto any TV they pass too.

As the sunlight pushes into the late afternoon, he’s almost as grouchy as yesterday.

Zack slouches against him, “what’s wrong Spikes, you feel okay?” He’s trying to play off like he’s not worried.

Cloud’s staring too hard at the massive TV overhead, the news still slamming the reactor bombings and Avalanche-Wutai relations. Barely even responds to Zack.

“They saw you fall...” Zack doesn’t hide his wince well, “Shit, Tifa’s probably worried sick.”

“Yeah.”

Aerith doesn’t really want them to leave. But, it’s not as if they are far, just a few hours walk really. It’s still early enough, she could go with them.

“Let’s get you boys home then, I’ll show you the way.”

Zack laughs, slings a big arm around her as she walks past them, “Aerith, I already know the way.”

“O-h, so Cloud doesn’t? I have to come with then.” She spins away from Zack and bumps her hip with Cloud, who is already walking down the main sector pathway up ahead.

“He’s got me!”

“Huh-uh, you think I didn’t notice you almost run that kid over cause you were staring at Cloud’s ass.”

Zack doesn't even have a response, his eyes just go all dreamy.

“See, you want poor Cloud to get lost cause you can’t keep it in your pants?” She’s laughing so much she keeps walking into Cloud on accident.

“I’m not getting lost,” Cloud says.

“Right, because you have me.” She even turns to stick her tongue out at Zack before slipping her arms around Cloud’s, “come on, Cloud. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but there’s a guy creeping on you, we better lose him.”

She gets another huff of laughter out of Cloud and a piggyback ride from Zack, who manhandles her away from his ‘guy’. His buster sword keeps smacking her in the shoulder, but, that's okay. She's going to make him carry her the whole way anyway.

Yeah, this timeline, no matter how hard it’s going to get, this one is good. Somewhere in one of her memories, her counterpart can rest easy knowing she fulfilled her promise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys, I think I have a problem, every single time I write the smut, it's always horror boss music playing. Bloodbourne, the whole time guys. Just something about dramatic Latin singing and creepy violin slides spells 'lovemaking'. 
> 
> There's also probably going to be smut in every single chapter now. You know they can't keep their hands off each other! They finished teen-hood in mako tubes, they gotta make up for their lost teen years somehow. Plus, it's so fun to write. 
> 
> As per usual, you guys make it so fun to be back in the FFVII fandom, I love all your comments so much. Just makes me so very, very happy. You guys have been super sweet. Remember, only you and Aerith know the truth. :)
> 
> Thanks for reading! See ya next time! 
> 
> *Side note, vulnerable Zack is my favorite Zack. Ugh, in CC, when's he's crying and Aerith hugs him, my heart.


	8. Because The Night Belongs to Lovers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wall Market is a dangerous place. 
> 
> *WARNING*  
> Triggers in this chapter-Sexual misconduct, mentions of rape, Non-consensual touching. Talk of rape, prostitution.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good morning! At least over here in the NW. This guy's a longer one, so sorry. 
> 
> It's finally Wall Market time, hope you guys like it. I feel like so much of it is just porn. XD Soo, if you're not into the raunchiness, so sorry. Also, Zack's a little too horny in this. lol, look the dark turn is coming up after this, just thought I'd have some fun before all the real suffering starts. 
> 
> Happy Reading!

They make it to the T-road coming up on Wall Market, a lot later than they should have. The sun is pretty much down and it’s getting a lot colder out on the main paths. Zack’s eyeing Aerith’s shivering, that dress is made for summer. She doesn’t seem to mind though, keeps hovering close between Cloud and himself. Every time Aerith gets too close to Cloud, Zack doesn’t miss the way he moves back from her. He doesn’t expect him to put up with Aerith’s touching, Cloud only lets him and Tifa get that close to him without being uncomfortable, but he seems to be trying with Aerith, not jerking away half the time.

For Zack?

Wall Market is already bursting with activity, even from this far. All the lights and pounding music of clubs and restaurants; it was overwhelming for Cloud during the day. It'll be worse at night. Zack steps up to Cloud’s side and leans in a little closer as they walk. There are crowds of people already on the path and it just becomes more and more as they near the south entrance. Even the Chocobo travel station has people hanging around. Mostly groups of girls cooing at the cute baby ones in the stables. Zack steers them to the side, he can hear a carriage coming up behind them, it’s slowing as it passes by. Aerith makes little noises at the Chocobo pulling it.

As it pulls ahead of them, Cloud takes off out of nowhere, jumps up onto the steps in the back.

“Cloud!” Wait-Tifa, she’s sticking her head out of the curtains in the back.

She’s all dressed up, a soft layer of dark makeup on, deep lips, and the dress she’s wearing shows way more of her skin then she normally does. She doesn’t look too happy with Cloud, says something quickly, Zack can’t hear, before patting his shoulder. They stare at each other a little long, Zack can hear Cloud’s voice now that he and Aerith are catching up, and the carriage is almost stopping.

“-But,”

“Cloud, it's fine. I can kick some serious ass, _go_.”

Cloud lets go after lingering for a few more seconds, just stands and watches Tifa get farther and farther. The Chocobo disappears into the far side of the stables and into the drop off station near the entrance. Tifa only appears briefly before disappearing into the main building. If she goes into Wall Market, Zack doesn’t see her, she doesn’t come back out.

“Cloud, who’s that?” Aerith’s trying to catch his gaze.

“Tifa…”

“What’s she doing all dressed up?” Zack doesn’t like this.

Wall Market has a reputation, all the way up on top plate too. It’s just about the only slum section that even upper residents come down too. A free town, freedom, excitement, danger, and sex. All rolled into one. It’s a different place at night, no longer a cute shopping spot from a week ago. He keeps an eye on the Chocobo building, but Tifa still doesn’t come back out.

Cloud shrugs, “told me to check on Jessie and the others, back at the bar.”

Aerith hums next to them, peeking around Zack with a frown, “I dunno, did I hear her say Don Corneo?”

Now Zack really doesn’t like this. Cloud nods, all frowns and worry knots in his brows.

“Yeah.”

“-That’s not good-”

“-Shit, we have to help-”

Aerith’s surprisingly amped-up voice clashes with his.

“She can handle him.”

Zack’s not doubting Tifa’s fighting ability. He’s doubting the fact that she’s alone. Everyone knows Corneo’s reputation. Girls going missing, some of the ones that are found…a flash of anger surges in him. There’s trauma damage and then there’s the type of trauma you get from Wall Market.

“It’s always nice to have some backup, she say why she’s meeting with Corneo?”

Cloud’s eyes are firmly on the ground, he shakes his head.

Aerith and him exchange worried looks.

“Come on,” Zack says, “we can at least see what Corneo is up too, if it’s not that bad, we’ll mosey on through.”

It seems busy far from the entrance, but when they actually come up to the Chocobo station, the amount of people is insane. There’s definitely something different going on, people seem more riled up. It’s still evening, and there are already drunks stumbling around like it’s two in the morning. Zack takes a quick peek through the window of the station, nothing. Tifa’s not in there; it’s just one big room for waiting travelers and a restroom. Where the hell did she go?

Some of the carriage drivers are eyeing him, so he rushes back down the steps and around to Cloud and Aerith at the entrance gate.

“She’s not in there anymore.”

“No way can I spot her in this crowd.” Cloud’s frown is showing off some guilt. Tifa’s not from Midgar, but she blends in well. She must have really stood out in Nibelheim with all the fair hair mountain goers.

“We’ll find her,” Aerith says, she’s already heading into the crowds, “we just have to ask around, we’ll get lucky.”

Zack’s not sure the type of luck you find in Wall Market is the luck they want. He rubs the back of Cloud’s neck in reassurance, gives him a small push to get moving.

It’s cold out, but the walls of people around them are making Zack’s lower back sweat. He’s got to keep a close eye on Aerith and Cloud; the three of them keep getting separated by wandering groups. Looks like they choose the wrong direction to go down, everyone’s pushing against them. Cloud’s very loud “ugh” in his sigh barely makes it over all the noise, but Zack’s got half his attention (if not all of it) on him most of the time. He sees Cloud’s unique blonde hair duck off to the right in a quick sidestep, into the safety of the empty doorway of one of the many Apothecaries.

“Aerith-” Zack calls over the heads of people; her pink bow and red jacket stand out among the sea of dark hair and neutral clothes. At least the two he is with are easy to pick out in a crowd. “-back here.”

Cloud’s breathing heavy through his nose. Shit, Zack hopes he’s not getting sick. He steps right up into Cloud’s space, presses his lips against his quickly.

“Hey, doing okay?” He’s never asked if Cloud doesn’t like all the touchy-feely in public. He’s never shied away from it either, well, not that type of shy anyway.

“Nauseous?” Zack tries again, just a small head shake.

Must be all the people, his eyes aren’t all glossy when there is static in his head and Zack doesn’t hear any. He’s noticed a disturbing trend with the static, they always seem to hear it together, or right after the other one. Zack pounders if it’s even worth asking Cloud anymore, he knows he gets it, so painfully obvious now.

“Everything alright?” Aerith finally pops up into their space. They're all standing very close together, not enough room to give Cloud the space he likes. Zack tries to shield him from the rush of the people, blocking him from view, seems to help a little.

“Mm” Still pretty withdrawn, but more relaxed now the three of them are all together.

Huh, didn’t like getting split up then.

“We should check out Corneo's mansion,” Aerith says, rising on her toes as if that will help her see over everything.

“Couldn’t hurt, at least we can scout out the place if we have to bust in.” Zack agrees, if they can’t find Tifa, they can check out where they know she’ll end up.

“Can we…go around a different way?” Cloud asks. It is the crowds bothering him too. Just another indicator that Cloud’s mental health is not healed. Easily confused in busy small areas. Zack’s going to fix this. He _is_. They are going to help Tifa, get back to slum 7 and Zack is going to go all out, Cloud his number one priority, more than normal.

Okay, he’s got to chill; he’s getting all riled up now. Aerith’s eyeing him with amused suspicion.

“Sure thing, Cloudy-sky, let’s cut through the ally way, try the other side street.” It’s a tight fit, they have to slip through one at a time, but Zack can already see the flow of people on the other side, is way less. He hears Aerith’s giggle in the oddly quiet alley.

“Cloudy-Sky?”

She’s teasing Cloud again.

“Shut it.”

“So c-ute.”

“Cut it out.”

“Can I call you a cute nickname?”

“No.”

Zack’s starting to feel like he’s dragging around two siblings he’s stuck babysitting. There was a family, back in Gongaga, his Mom used to make him watch their twins. Felt just like this.

“Aw-but so cute, your cheeks get all pink.”

Cloud is going to kill her.

“I said shut it.”

“Mmm, does he ever call you thunder Cloud? When you’re all gloomy?”

 _Oh my god_ , he’s going have to carry her body back to her mother and she is not a fan of SOLDIERS.

“ _No._ "

“He should-wha?”

Zack grabs her arm the second they come out onto the side street, pulls her right to his chest to hiss in her ear, “what are you doing, are you crazy,” he can’t help laughing though. She’s smiling innocently up at him, “don’t.poke.the.cat.”

Aerith giggles and just waves him off, “hmm, doesn’t seem to be nervous about all the people now.” she points out.

He’s not; he’s just raging with irritation instead. Zack sees what she means a few minutes later, they walk down the streets with less trouble and Cloud’s shoulders relax slowly. His eyes are still hard, but that’s pretty normal of social Cloud.

As busy as the rest of the town is, Corneo's mansion front is empty, no guards even. Zack smirks, that’s a dumb move. Sure, there are thugs inside guarding, but outside, not even one person? Spells too cocky. First weakness then, Corneo is arrogant.

“You think she’s already in there?” Aerith asks, she’s trying to peer into the high windows, but she can’t reach. Not even Zack’s height will get him a good view.

The three of them poke around a bit more, but it’s pretty walled in. Zack thinks the best way in beside the front door, is a slightly larger window on the far right side, near the back of the building. It’s surrounded by high fencing, not that it’s an issue for a SOLDIER. They end up back on the bridge, watching a weird invisible wall of people and emptiness once the water channel starts.

“We could just try to go in and see,” Aerith says.

“Just walk in huh?”

Aerith’s already pulling the massive gaudy gold doors open. Cloud’s right behind her, glances back at Zack. Zack just gives him a nod. He’ll stay out here, just in case someone comes looking around. They aren’t in there long, Zack’s just done one sweep of the area when Aerith’s coming back out, huffing about something to Cloud. It’s a weird turn around, Cloud has a tiny smile on his face, he’s laughing at her.

“Can’t believe it, so rude,” Aerith’s muttering.

“Uh, what happened?”

“They said I looked ‘ _homely_ ’, ‘with _work_ ’, ‘ _kind of_ cute’, ugh.” She’s got a glare rivaling Cloud’s, burning real hard just past Zack’s shoulder.

He looks to Cloud in confusion, “uh.”

“There’s this…audition, only way to see Corneo.” Cloud’s holding in a laugh, Zack can see it in the little twitch on his lips.

“Stupid, he called me _stupid_ -” She nearly explodes.

“-Stupid _enough_ -” Cloud corrects, very quietly, as if that would make her feel better. Aerith doesn’t hear him.

“-should have let me kill him, Cloud.”

“Okay, what is going on? You guys weren’t even in there for five minutes.”

Aerith heaves a sigh, “there’s an _audition_ or something, I’m guessing that’s how Tifa is getting in to see Corneo too. You have to be _selected_ by an _official_ though.” It’s a lot of air quote movement happening, he’s more amused by her sudden rage. So rare for her. Audition? For what?

“What’s the audition for?” He asks.

“Corneo’s next _bride_ -” more air quotes “-or something. It’s the only way in.”

“Aerith, you sure about this?” Cloud asks.

Aerith sighs, the fight all out of her, “Can’t think of another way. Can you?”

“Who are these officials?” This is ridiculous; they have to convince some fake, basically a gang leader to glitzy up Aerith so she can go prostitute herself out to Corneo. Wall Market really is just a bunch of trauma wrapped in pretty lights.

She lists them off and Zack doesn’t have a good feeling about any of them. They are all on opposite sides of town and it sounds like it’s going to be a hard sell. Zack’s not sure how much time they have. Tifa’s got to be in the mansion by now. He highly doubts other girls haven’t been ‘selected’ already.

“Alright, so what, you put on a fancy dress and some makeup and then we all go in there and find Tifa?” It’s a stupid plan.

“No, men aren’t allowed in.” Cloud says, “She’ll have to go in alone.” He frowns at Aerith. He doesn’t like it. _Sweet_ , he’s warming up to her.

“It’ll be fine,” Aerith says.

“No, you can’t go in alone.” Zack’s aware of the danger and so is Aerith. This isn’t some bachelor looking for a little _wife_. It’s a prostitution prize night. It’s sick.

“We’ll think of something,” She’s looking at Cloud with thoughtful eyes, “let’s just get the ball rolling. We don’t have much time.”

They try Chocobo Sam first. Zack has to resist just calling the guy Chocobo the whole time. He’s a gruff guy; maybe if he lost some of that real snake-quality in his eyes, he’d be nicer. Zack’s on edge just talking to him, a hidden dark rage in the man becomes more apparent the longer they talk to him. He doesn’t like it. Cloud doesn’t either, bristles when Sam mentions he’s the one who invited Tifa. Tifa shouldn’t be getting friendly with guys like this. It’s just asking for trouble, no matter how much she can take care of herself. Turns out he’s a lousy cheat too. That’s fine, they can try the other two, he doesn’t like how Sam was eyeing Aerith anyway.

They have to fight all the crowds again to get to the HONEY BEE INN. It’s in the party sector of the town. Endless clubs with theatrical themes and way too loud music pulses at their heads. It’s even darker on this side, must be all the blue lights and flashing strobes. The HONEY BEE INN is all purples and yellows, brighter than the rest of the clubs and obviously the one that brings in all the money. There’s a huge crowd of people sipping on drinks, waiting to get in. It’s a burlesque club, for the most part; puts on shows every night, sit with your favorite HONEY BEE server or dancer that’s not in the show.

Everyone knows though, the darker side to the club, the part that Corneo puts his money on so the burlesque side can do their shows. There’s a reason it’s an “inn.”

It’s very…scandalous and sultry inside, the HONEY BEE workers are dressed in showy costumes and you can tell the dancers from the… _escorts_. It’s the eyes, Zack watches them all with pity, the escort’s eyes are just a bit duller from the dancers.

Not surprising, they get shot down. Not as badly as Sam, more due to the sheer volume of business the club brings in. At any rate, Andrea seems a better man to deal with, if you can look past all the pimping he lets happen in his club. To be fair, Corneo might not give him a choice either.

In Wall Market you’re not ever on top unless your name is Don. Doesn’t matter how much money you bring in. In some ways, Zack feels kinda bad, even the richest here are fucked.

“Can’t believe it, _three years_ , that’s crazy,” Aerith says on their way _back_ across town. Cloud seems to be getting tired of being so social. His eyes are back to being guarded and he hovers close to Zack.

“Let’s hope this Madam M gives us a break then,” Zack says.

It’s much quieter; her hand massage parlor is just at the north entrance, across from a materia shop and tucked into the cliffs of red rock. A wooden fence keeps the front nice and private, a small bench and lights near a large pound fountain, an extra waiting area he guesses. Certainly feels like a legitimate massage place and not another cover-up for a whore house.

Madam M seems to be doing the opposite of the landscaping. She’s got the traditional dress of old-time Midgar, dark, flowery kimono, and the right hairstyle. But she’s all rough talk and low voice and showing off her bare shoulder. There are not massive amounts of half-naked women and men running around though. And there are only two massage rooms and a large waiting area.

She’s eyeing Cloud the whole time, barely even glances at Aerith. Zack doesn’t miss the way her eyes linger on his own arms, but her attention mostly stays to Cloud. It’s not the first time Zack’s thought about it. Cloud is foreign-looking, compared to most in Midgar. There are blondes sure, but his hair’s not as yellow. It’s a cooler tone, more subtle and pale. The glowy SOLDIER eyes don’t’ help either, those are always an attention bringer, no matter what.

“So, what’s it going to be then? Need a relaxing session for the start of a wild night?” Still just talking at Cloud then.

“Actually,” Aerith pipes up, “I was wondering if you could sponsor me for Corneo’s audition.”

Madam M laughs, a bit meanly, “What, you think I just do that for free?” she walks around the counter, suddenly with a dark glint in her eyes, “if you can’t pay, then get the fuck out of my parlor.”

Great, hidden temper just like Sam. Maybe they should just try to sneak in to see Andrea at the HONEY BEE INN.

“Alright, we can pay,” Aerith says, lies even, Zack doesn't know how much this is going to cost, “we can do that. I just wanted to know if you had sponsored anyone yet.”

All sweet honey and sexy voice again. This Madam M sure is a piece of work.

“Oh, I see. Yes, you are very pretty,” she’s walking around Aerith in slow circles, “not very curvy, but your hair is a unique color. Eyes are gorgeous. With the right dress and makeup, I think you’ll do.”

Great.

“Great,” Aerith says, “so, what can we do to get that?”

“Hold on, I think you owe me a session first,” she slaps her paper fan on Cloud’s chest.

A very random burst of protectiveness comes over Zack, or, jealousy? Whatever it is, he doesn’t like the way she’s eye-fucking Cloud. Also, don’t touch him. He doesn’t like it.

“You, Blondie, come with me.”

Aerith sighs and gives Cloud a gentle shove, which _hey_. That’s his guy, “how much?” Aerith asks.

“3,000 Gil, jade eyes, on the counter please.”

3,000. That’s…Cloud’s sword didn’t even cost that much. Aerith’s looking at Zack with pointed eyes.

“What?”

“I don’t have that kind of money,” Aerith says.

Damnit, that’s almost a third of their savings.

“Fi-ne. You're killing me here, girly.” He slaps the Gil down with a bit of longing. He got all covered in monster guts for that money. Doesn’t really want to pay for some sultry woman to do things to his…boyfriend? Guy, Cloud. His Cloud.

“Zack, he-lo, let’s wait over here.”

They sit down in the waiting area, it’s warm from the cold night, soft reds, and earth tones. A few delicately placed bonsais, another fountain. It is relaxing, he can’t argue that. Even the silence is peaceful.

And then out of nowhere, Cloud’s just moaning up a storm not eight feet from them, behind one of those silky curtains.

“Oh,” Aerith hides her grin behind her hands, raising her eyebrows at Zack, “um…”

Zack knows _that_ moan. He can’t look at Aerith; he can barely look at the wall.

Aerith’s nearly choking on her silent laughter.

“Okay, I’m go-gonna go, outside, wait,” His dumb brain is deciding to make a comeback, seriously what is that woman doing to him? That’s _another_ moan only Zack has ever heard, “wait, I’m gonna go wait. _Outside_.”

Aerith’s not laughing quietly anymore as he leaves the front waiting room, her voice follows him out. He doesn’t go far, just to the more fenced off side of the building, near the fountain and waiting bench. He leans back against the building wall and breathes in the cold air and tries not to think about Cloud moaning like Zack’s got his tongue in him.

Doesn’t work too well, he’s fucking harder than he’s ever been. He’s just barely got his racing pulse under control when Cloud’s wandering out the door. He seems to be moving a little slow. He spots Zack in the shadows and comes over, his eyes all dazed. It’s cute, how he just dreamily stares up at him.

“Hey,” Cloud says, voice all airy.

It’s funny, would be _funnier_ if Zack wasn’t so hard it hurts. Now that Cloud’s right in front of him, all relaxed and dazed, he really can’t stop thinking about Cloud moaning. It’s just a hand massage. How’d she _do_ that to him? He’s…kinda jealous, only he’s allowed to make Cloud sound like that.

“Where’s Aerith?” Zack asks; just try not to think about it, he tells himself.

Hard to do as Cloud’s biting his lip and fluttering his lashes. Zack groans, a little too enthusiastically. Seems to snap Cloud of his daze.

“You okay?” he steps in close, reaching out to touch Zack.

“Yep, all good Spikes,” he avoids Cloud’s touch, pulling back, he’s not going to be able to ignore his _issue_ if Cloud touches him, even if it is innocent. The problem is he jerked back a little too fast. Cloud’s hand drops like fire and his eyes harden up.

“Cl-”

Cloud steps back from him, eyes on the ground, his whole body tense. Nope, nope, not doing this game anymore, Zack grabs Cloud, pulls him right into his chest with a gasp.

“Sorry,” he says, pressing Cloud all up against him, “just, you know, all those fucking _noises_ you were making in there.”

Cloud’s eyes widen slightly, there’s no way he can’t feel Zack, he’s fucking throbbing.

“Zack.” He seems surprised and then his eyes go all needy.

Cloud glances around them, steels his expression, grabs Zack by the arms and shoves him back into the shadows. Hard up against the wall. He doesn’t even wait for Zack to get any words out, just drops to his knees and starts unzipping Zack’s trousers.

“Cloud...shit, we’re _outside_.”

Cloud pauses; Zack’s dick is already out, red and harder than Zack has been in a while. His cock jumps at the sight of Cloud’s soft lips so close.

“There’s a fence,” is all Cloud says and just takes as much of Zack’s cock as he can.

Zack’s aware he’s big, not too long, but he’s thick. He’s never really pushed Cloud for oral; he knows he’s a bit much to take. But, Cloud’s mouth is just so perfect, so hot, and wet, fuck, Zack can see saliva dripping down his chin. He’s taking so much of him, almost all the way, sliding his tongue along the length of him the best he can.

It’s just automatic, sliding his hand into Cloud’s hair and grabbing tightly, Zack can feel his knees give a little.

Cloud pulls off slow, sucking his cheeks hollow as he pulls his head back. It’s obscene, watching his cock reappear from Cloud’s pretty, tight, wet mouth. Cloud’s gasping for some air, looking up at Zack with his goddamn fucking beautiful, perfect eyes. This might give him brain damage, all the sex with Cloud. It's what's making him dumber by the day. He's positive.

“You can,” Cloud's voice is raw already, “you know…” He glances shyly back down.

Still doesn’t wait for Zack to answer, just drives right back in, literally, almost chokes himself on Zack’s cock. And then he shifts down a bit more and just, opens his throat. Zack slips the rest of the way into Cloud’s mouth, fucking, all the way in. Cloud’s hands jump up to grasp Zack’s thighs, for balance or ability to push Zack out of his mouth he doesn’t know. Cloud keeps swallowing around his cock, it’s just so good. Zack doesn’t mean too, but his hips jut forward, trying to bury deeper into the wet and the heat.

Cloud rears back again, choking a bit.

“Shit, sorry Cloudy-sky.”

“You can, wasn’t ready.”

Cloud rights himself on the pads of his feet, clutches harder at Zack’s thighs for balance, and just opens his mouth right at the head of his cock, tongue slipping out like a fucking welcome mat.

Zack almost comes at the sight. He never wants to hurt Cloud, and he’s going to be keeping himself contained, but oh fuck, he can feel Cloud’s hot, moist breath on his cock, so close. And Cloud’s giving him those eyes like he needs Zack to fuck his mouth. Zack firmly curves his hands around Cloud’s head, so he can hold him still.

“Okay, beautiful, but you gotta promise, if it’s too much, tap my thigh 3 times okay.”

Cloud just stares up at him, eyes burning, saying, 'hurry the fuck up'.

Zack just goes for it, slides all the way into Cloud’s mouth, the head of his cock hitting the back of his throat. Cloud’s so good already, sucking as he pulls out, letting his saliva gather so it’s slick. He starts slowly at first, moving his hips, memorized as his cock disappears into Cloud’s pink lips. His mouth is so tight too; when he’s in all the way his mouth is stretched so good around him. Cloud’s jaw is going to be sore.

It’s obscene and fucking dirty. Cloud’s not even naked, fully clothed, and looking up at him with glazed eyes. He just looks so _sluty_. Zack loses all control; it’s always Cloud’s eyes that make him. He starts snapping his hips, going deep until Cloud’s nose tickles the stretched skin above his cock. He does it over and over, faster every time until Cloud’s making whimpering sounds and gasping at any chance he can. Zack can see tears dripping down the corner of one of his eyes, but he never stops looking up at Zack, never taps on his thigh.

It’s so fucking good, so wet. He’s done, he can’t go any longer. One last snap of his hips, he pulls Cloud’s head along his cock, shoving as deep as he can physically go into Cloud’s mouth and just holds him against him as he comes down his throat. It’s a lot, Zack’s orgasm is long and he’s spilling so much. Fuck he was really worked up. Cloud’s so good, so _good_ for him. Let’s Zack hold him over his cock, lets him twitch his hips. And he fucking swallows as much come as he can. Zack’s gonna blackout, he totally is. The second he’s done, he pulls out swiftly, tucks himself in and yanks Cloud up (who’s fucking gasping), arms tight around him, hands traveling up his back like usual.

“Are you kidding me, you’re so perfect, fucking beautiful, Cloudy-sky.” He pants into the side of Cloud’s face. He can feel the heat blossom on his skin.

All the noise of Wall Market comes crashing down around them.

Holy shit, Zack can’t believe he fucked Cloud’s mouth out in public. Quickly, he pulls some mana and casts CLEANSE from his healing materia. Not perfect, but all traces of his come will be gone at least.

There’s no indication that anyone saw them and they are hidden well behind the wooden fence and the shadows of the building. That blush on Cloud’s cheeks will completely give them away. Which he’s sure Aerith will come waltzing out any moment.

“She’s not coming out soon,” Cloud mutters against his neck.

“What, why?”

Cloud shrugs, snuggles in close to him like Zack’s the one that just pulled the best orgasm out of _him_.

“Something about measurements…” yeah, he’s still completely out of it. Damn, that was some hand massage.

He back walks Cloud to the bench, lifts his jaw with a soft touch of his palms for a kiss, before going back into the parlor.

Aerith is straight down the hallway, her braid wrapped up in a bun. Madam M is poking at her, marking things with chalk and measuring Aerith's waist much too tightly for it to be correct.

“Hey,” She waves at him, “this might take a while. You guys should find something to do.”

Yeah, Zack thinks they did that already.

“You sure, how we paying for this?”

“Oh, I’m working out a deal with Madam M, right?” she says after Madam M, who has disappeared for a moment.

“Yes, I think I’ve already got it figured out too, go on now,” Madam M comes back into the hallway with way too many clothing pins in between her teeth, waves her perfectly manicured hand at Zack, “girls time. Don’t worry she’s in good hands.”

“Go have some fun with Cloud,” Aerith’s smile is way too big and knowing.

“You’re not as innocent as you pretend,” Zack tells her as he’s leaving.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She calls after him.

Cloud’s still where he left him. As much as he does want to go have some more ‘fun’ and repay Cloud for fucking, being the _best_. He’s also starving and Cloud looks like he could use a pick me up. He at least seems to be back to himself when Zack pulls him up. He keeps trying to pop his jaw as they walk about into the busier sections of town. Zack winces; seriously, he’s going to have to really pay Cloud back. He also needs to stop thinking about it.

Like really.

They go back to that Wutai place they had eaten at with Jessie, Biggs, and Wedge. It’s packed. There’s a tiny table for two tucked in the back outside space, way in the corner, a little bit away from everyone. Lucky them, some privacy, at least as much as possible in a busy restaurant. They have to squeeze in and their legs crowd up against each other. Zack’s fine with that and Cloud doesn’t seem to mind. Presses one of his legs against Zack’s the whole time they eat.

They spend a good hour there, not really talking all that much. Cloud’s never going to want to sit and chit-chat. But he is totally sweet on him and lets Zack brush his knuckles across his face a few times, trace the veins and tendons in his hand. Doesn’t shy away from his gaze too often so Zack can stare into his eyes. He can hear Aerith cooing ‘lovey-dovey’ at him all the way from the parlor. It’s all very normal and almost makes him forget about everything. About ShinRa and all the trauma they have to sort out still.

Course, that’s the perfect timing for it all go to shit. They are just going down a less busy side street to check on Aerith, when Zack hears it buzzing, in his ears. Static. He whips his head to look at Cloud; sure his hunch is right about them getting it at the same time.

Except, Cloud looks fine. Got that cute little smile he gets when Zack’s overly tender with him, eyes clear and focused.

And then the pain follows.

So much pain, burning in his chest.

Rage

It’s the rage.

_No._

He grabs Cloud’s shoulders, tight, he’s sure too hard. Sees the sudden alarmed spark in Cloud’s eyes and Zack can feel his muscles spasm.

“C-cloud…st-static”

Everything’s going red, there’s so much rage that isn’t his and the pain is much worse than last time.

He’s vaguely aware of Cloud pulling him into an empty alley, down the back. It gets darker as he pulls him along. Makes the static and the rage worse. He can’t really stop it and his voice isn’t working anymore. He can’t tell Cloud to run, get away from him.

He just sees red and static.

The static is so loud.

Consumes him.

***

It’s all white again.

He feels, calm? Didn’t this happen before?

Aerith, Aerith was with him last time. But, she’s also with him now?

He doesn’t see her. It’s so much white, nothing else. He stands, slowly. He feels…

Tired. Every sound he makes echoes off of nothing.

Smelled like flowers last time. Like Aerith’s flowers at the church.

This time…copper?

_Blood._

He realizes, seconds before it happens. Steps ever so slightly to the left.

A thin eight-foot sword-slices between his arm and torso, missing his body. Didn’t get him this time.

“ _Sephiroth._ ” This rage, it’s not his.

Sephiroth materializes out of nowhere-weird whispery voices following his oddly still body. Sounds like they are saying ‘reunion’. He heard that last time too.

The rage is more. A lot more. Cause Zack saw him coming?

He’s laughing then, cold, smooth, like he already knows he’s won.

“Zackary-”

Ugh, only his Mom calls him that.

“-Think you’re clever this time.” That sword, Masamune, has blood on it.

From who?

Static, he hears it in the distance. So faint, barely even noticeable.

“Tell me,” Sephiroth seems to move in clicks, weird jitters, one spot, and then a different one without movement, “where Cloud is.”

No. Fucking, _no._ The rage. It’s not his, but it can be.

“You can’t win, Zack.”

_Get_

“Just give me what I need.”

_Out_

“Don’t fight me.”

_Of_

“Where.”

_My_

“Is.”

_Head_

“Cloud.”

A heavy weight in his hands, a familiar weight. His buster sword just comes right too him. The static fades to something different. Something warm and safe, he knows it so well. It feels like…

Feels like being with Cloud.

Sephiroth’s eyes flash, fear? No, recognition, one that he’s not happy with.

A scream, it’s not human. Rips from Sephiroth’s body doesn’t even open his mouth, but it’s roaring from him. The rage, it’s the rage screaming. So alien and raspy and wrong.

He can block Masamune this time; he’s got his buster.

It’s fast, there’s a reason Sephiroth ripped him to shreds in Nibelheim, he’s fast. Zack’s weakness.

But this, this isn’t Nibelheim, this isn’t even his real body. Here, in a glowy white space, it’s all his. All Zack.

Sephiroth comes at him with speed, so much rage in his body and his eyes. It can’t influence Zack anymore. He doesn’t need it, doesn’t want. He’s got his own. Blocks every time, sees every move before Sephiroth can follow through.

_Blood_

But it’s not his.

_Get_

_Out_

Sharp sparks of metal against metal. Zack smirks, stares Sephiroth down with his own rage, one that he can’t beat.

“No!”

See ya, _fucker._

It’s satisfying, his buster ripping through that stupid exposed chest. Zack let’s go of it in Sephiroth. Who stumbles, a real stumble, and starts laughing, Zack's buster lodged in good. His whole body starts to twitch, move in short jerky motions. That voice, that is not Sephiroth’s, it screams at him.

_REUNION_

Everything goes all white again.

***

It’s cold when he’s aware again. Cold on his back, warm at his front. He’s leaning on something firm and soft. All the sound comes rushing back, the pulsing music from clubs, the laughter of crowds, and drunken people. It’s faded in the background, away from him. He’s down a dark alley. Right, Wall Market. He’s in Wall Market.

The soft wall he’s leaning on is shaking. Wait, no not a wall. It’s Cloud, he’s curled down on top of Cloud, his face pushed against his shoulder. They’re on the ground; Cloud’s got his arms around him, holding him close against him. Zack must be heavy. Cloud’s shaking, he’s taking in sharp gasps….

Crying. He’s _crying_.

It brings Zack back fully. Fuck, he hurt Cloud, must have. Cloud’s _crying_. Zack’s chest nearly rips in half. It hurts, hearing him, feeling him shake. He pulls back.

“H-hey,” his voice sounds like he’s been screaming, “Hey, it’s okay. Cloudy-Sky.”

“Z-zack.” Cloud pulls Zack back against him, pressing him tight to his shoulder. His body is shaking so badly.

Zack can smell blood, feels it drying on his face. Nosebleed then, happened last time too.

“I’m sorry.” Cloud’s just saying it over and over against his ear. Why?

“Cloud, it’s okay, I’m okay.” He’s got to see his eyes. He hates when Cloud hides from him.

Zack pushes up again, adjusts Cloud so he sits back against the wall, and leans in close to Cloud's face. Gets his hands around his neck and head, so he can stroke his thumb along Cloud’s cheeks. The sharp gasps have stopped, but there’s a steady stream of tears from his eyes.

“Static….” Cloud says, low and quiet, “you said…static. It’s my fault.”

Breaking his heart in two. Not the good kind of pins and needles this time. Cloud thinks _he’s_ the reason for his static? No. It’s that fucking sick prick, Hojo. He did this to them. And Sephiroth.

“I don’t think so beautiful,” Zack says, brushes his lips so carefully over Cloud's, “I think you made it better.”

Zack knows he did. That feeling, like coming home, safety, and happiness. Everything he feels hitting his chest when he looks at Cloud. Gives him strength, it changed the static somehow. An overwhelming wave of warmth hits him so hard he might have stumbled if he was standing.

He loves him. He's in love with Cloud.

Sometimes, Zack gets stuck on words, like Cloud does. But instead of not knowing what to say, it’s because he has too much he _needs_ to say. So he just kisses Cloud instead. Soft pressure and long. Until he can’t feel the tear tracks on his cheeks when he presses in anymore. Until Cloud’s body is not shaking any longer and he’s gripping at the base of Zack’s neck with steady hands.

When they’ve both calmed down, Zack notices the smudges of red on Cloud’s shoulder. Blood.

“You’re bleeding?” Zack touches the area gently, not wanting to aggravate any wounds.

“Zack, it’s yours.”

Right, nosebleed. Actually, now that he’s really got his head back on, he can see he has smeared his blood on Cloud’s face when he kissed him. Zack winces, wipes away some of the red with his thumb.

“Sorry, shit, I got it all over you.”

Cloud laughs, moves his thumb on Zack’s neck in little circles, then gets serious.

“Did you see him…” His face is set in its neutral expression, but Zack hears the fear in his voice.

Sephiroth.

“Yeah.”

Cloud starts shaking again, looks paler, “what’s happening to us?” he whispers.

Zack doesn’t know. He’s got no answers for him yet. A loud shout and someone puking their drinks up down one side of the alley shakes them both from their daze. There's not much time to sit and wonder how messed up they are. They have a friend to help. They’ll have to talk later. Zack sighs, pulls Cloud to him.

“I don’t know, we’ll figure it out.”

He waits to pull away until Cloud's finished breathing deep, his shakiness disappearing again.

“Come on,” Aerith’s got to be done by now.

They go out of their way to avoid even semi-busy areas. Zack feels like he's seeing silver hair at every turn. Zack’s not sure how long his episode had lasted, but when they get back to Madam M’s, Aerith’s still not finished.

Sticks her head out of one of the rooms, half a face of makeup on, “Whoa, what happened to you guys?” her hair is out of its braid.

Madam M comes out with a stern frown on, looking to see about Aerith's tone. A sharp flick of the curtain, clicks her tongue at them and shoves them into her washroom.

“Clean up, I can’t send you to Andrea looking like thugs.”

“What?”

Aerith peeks back out, “It’s part of our payment plan.”

Payment plan, okay. Zack forgot this bit about Aerith. He always feels out of control when she's smirking like that.

Cloud’s scrubbing at his shoulder when Zack turns back around, it’s more blood than Zack thought. Catching a glimpse of himself in the mirror makes him wince again. There’s blood all down his chin, left nostril a dark, dark red, smeared far across his cheek from kissing Cloud. How did he not taste that? He whistles quietly.

“Damn, could’ve pushed me off you.” He says, letting Cloud grab his chin and wipe at his face with a warm, clean washcloth. He’s very focused on Zack, glares at the dry spots that don’t come off as easy.

“Why?” he says,

Zack chuckles, “yeah _why_. How ‘bout cause I was bleeding all over you.”

Cloud shrugs, “I just swallowed your come less than three hours ago.”

Of all the things, Zack’s not expecting Cloud to casually say that. Startles him into another laugh. Also makes his heart flutter, in a gross kind of way.

After they finish washing up, Madam M sends them over to the HONEY BEE INN with a note, telling them she’ll escort Aerith over later, just have to do finishing touches. Zack’s not really sure what they could do for Andrea as part of their ‘payment’ plan, but they need to really get a move on. There are bigger crowds outside when they get there, all excited and drunker. Feels like even more on the inside of the inn, but it’s just a smaller space. The two of them stick right to each other, Zack’s arms bumping into Cloud’s so often he might as well just hold his hand.

The receptionist seems annoyed to see them back again but is polite enough. Cloud doesn’t even bother to argue, just holds out the folded up note to him. He barely reads it before he’s bringing them around the corner and telling them to wait.

Zack can see the inn better, it’s massive. Looks very small from the outside, but there’s a large entrance area behind the curtained doorway. Even up the stairs, to the actual ‘inn’ looks to be hundreds of rooms. He’d thought the longer he looks at it, he’d see wear and tear, signs that it’s a slum club still, just like all the other spots in Wall Market. He’s wrong, everything is pristine, kept well, and updated, right down to the tiny string lights over the chairs.

A dark-haired HONEY BEE girl comes over to get them, takes them into the main entrance area, and then to the back corner, to a short hallway. On the glossy wooden door, in gold letters, Andrea Rhodea’s name glitters at them. He’s not really what Zack expected. Compared to his dancers, Andrea is much less extravagant. All dark clothing, though just as showy, and tight buzzed hair. He’s just as forward as Madam M, but there’s a warmth in his eyes that the other two ‘officials’ didn’t have.

“Madam M assures me you two are here to cash in on a favor she owes me.”

Great, grunt work for the under crime bosses.

“Sure,” Cloud says, crossing his arms and giving Andrea his ‘maybe I’ll help’ hip jut.

Andrea ponders Cloud, “A few years ago. I had to bail her out with Corneo, it took a more costly hit to my club then I thought, more than just money. I’m sure you’ve noticed, not all of my dancers, do strictly just burlesque shows.”

“You’re a whore house on the side,” Cloud says, eyes hard. Not everyone appreciates Cloud’s bluntness, but Andrea just sighs in defeat.

“Yes, as much as I don’t like it. You see, Corneo wanted a…more direct line to the girls he desired, on top of his ‘bride’ nonsense. I had to compromise with Corneo. He gets a say in the ‘share’ of the club he put money into. In reality, I did not have enough money to cover Madam M’s little…mishap and cover the fees for my club, so I agreed.”

“So you sold out your dancers to him so you could keep running your burlesque shows. What do you want from us?” Zack asks.

“I did not _sell_ out my dancers. I agreed to run a side business, at first, just the girls and boys that wanted too. I made that very clear to them and to Corneo. I do not condone forced consent. In the last year, Corneo has…overstepped. I try to keep the ones that don’t want to partake in that side of the club out of it, but Corneo seems to enjoy forcing my hand.”

“-and theirs,” Cloud says.

Great, so Andrea has no control over his “side business” anymore.

“So what do want from us?” Zack asks again. It’s all very sad and Zack isn’t pleased to hear that Corneo is forcing people into sex workers, but he’s not sure what he and Cloud can do.

“I want control back; Corneo will never take my money now. He is too greedy in sins of the flesh. I want my dancers back and my club safe again. Madam M still owes me for bailing out her own sins. If you can get me control back from Corneo, I will let her debts go and her favor complete.”

Cloud glances at him, Zack can see it his eyes. It’s sort of what they were planning. Maybe not getting so involved as to shift the power balance in Wall Market, but whatever Tifa is up too, Zack doesn’t expect it to be passive.

“And how do you want that done?”

Andrea shrugs, “I don’t care. You can kill him, or not. So long as he leaves the HONEY BEE INN alone.”

“Right, well, we don’t even have a way into his mansion to do that.”

The door behind them clicks, and Aerith’s finally caught up with them, “sure we do,” she says, slipping into the office.

It’s a distraction. She looks beautiful, hair soft and wavy, makeup all pinks and popping her green eyes, her red dress is, a little much, but it fits her like a second skin. Zack doesn’t’ miss the way Cloud’s eyes widen and he gets all flustered. Huh, another Tifa like crush then. Zack tries not to laugh at him.

Aerith rolls her eyes at them, “I know, I know, the dress is a little…much.”

“Uh.” Zack would be a little jealous if it wasn’t so cute.

“Cloud!”

“Sorry…”

“This plan still involves you going in alone.” Zack points out, turns to Andrea, “sorry, but no way is Aerith going in there by herself. At least one of us has to go with her.”

“That’s where I can help. I help you into Corneo’s place, you help me settle my…admittedly, skeletons, and Madam M will finally finish what she owes me.”

Zack’s getting that weird itch between his shoulders again. Aerith is way too bouncy and peppy; she must know what they are going to be doing. Zack can’t really think why she’d be this excited about it, maybe she’s just really ready to get in there and help Tifa kick some ass.

Even though…she’s never met Tifa.

Zack narrows his eyes at her. No, it’s the plan for sure; she’s got that fake innocent grin on.

“How? Only women are allowed in.” Cloud says.

“ _Yep,_ ” Aerith hops over to Cloud’s side, leaning in and smiling wide at him.

Andrea stands and comes to lean on the front of his desk, looking between the two of them.

“I must admit, when your friend here told me of her plan, I wasn’t sure,” Aerith is going to explode, he can see the joy nearly bursting from her face, “but,” Andrea leans in closely to Cloud, “I’m pleased at least one of you…is delicate-looking _enough_.”

OH

Aerith jumps as high as she can with those heals on, claps her hands together a few times when she catches Zack’s eye. O-h, this will never work. No way will Cloud ever, ever-yep there we go, he’s got it.

“What?” It’s the most caught off guard Zack’s heard and seen him.

“Come on Cloud,” Aerith says, “I think you’ll look great in a dress.”

“ _Wait_ -” Panic, its actual panic in his voice.

Zack’s not sure this will work. Cloud's way too shy and his voice isn't exactly high, he'll have to keep his mouth shut. Cloud likes to get mouthy, particularly at assholes, in general too, but it's the assholes he's got no patience for. But he and Cloud suddenly have no say. Andrea snaps his fingers and three HONEYBEE girls come giggling in, whisk Cloud away and into the depths of the club.

Aerith laughs breathlessly, latching onto Zack’s arm, “come on, we’ve got to get a good seat.”

Andrea gives them both a little push, “yes, please, one of my girls will escort you. Don’t worry,” Andrea pats Zack’s cheek, there’s a lot of rings on his fingers, “you’re little Blondie will be taken good care of.”

It’s a very different, chaotic experience then Zack was expecting. Two HONEYBEE girls escort them into the stage room at the back of the building. It’s a more club-like sleek design, low, low lights, and a massive stage with even bigger show lights dead center, all along the far wall. Tons of people in seats already and Aerith all but drags him with the HONEYBEE girls to the front, lowest cushion seating, full view of the stage.

Excitement is thick in the air, and every HONEYBEE worker is over the top in all they do, even down to their severing. Leaning a little too arched, lingering their touches on customers, lots of over laughing and eye batting. It’s amusing, at least, but Zack doesn’t really understand how watching a burlesque show is going to help them get into Corneo’s mansion. Maybe it's just to pass the time as they wait for Cloud to...Zack still doesn't think this plan is going to work.

“O-h, I can’t wait,” Aerith says at his side. She’s sitting at attention and getting a little too into the atmosphere. Zack’s never seen her so, eager. It’s just a dance show.

It’s not. Halfway through, he admits, cutesy dance, it gets rather sultry. Aerith’s buzzing next to him, cheering on the dancers with everyone else, and when the lights get even lower and the music gets a slightly dark beat, he’s afraid Aerith is going to pass out next to him.

“Yes, finally!” She screams, it’s an actual scream that hurts Zack’s ears.

The stage separates into three different honeycombs, and rising dead center, is Cloud, missing all his armor, just in his sleeveless turtleneck and SOLDIER trousers. There’s a dancer on each of his arms and Andrea comes out from behind him. The girls dance upon Cloud, touching little too much for Zack’s sudden onset of jealously, before handing Cloud off to Andrea.

He feels a strong sense of second-hand embarrassment for Cloud; he can see the blush high on his cheeks. Andrea is practically manhandling him into a few dance moves before spinning him back into a chair that’s risen up from under the stage. A mass group of dancers rush out and surround Cloud, blocking him from view. It’s not long, maybe ten minutes of impressive coordination from the dancers and Cloud’s back.

“Oh my god.” Aerith’s gasping for air like she held her breath underwater for too long, “He’s beautiful.”

Zack feels his jaw slack, and a very, very surreal feeling falls over him.

This is not Midgar.

It must be some other time dimension he’s falling into.

One where Nibelheim did not happen. Or even his SOLDIER training.

That life feels so very far away.

Honestly, all his thoughts seem very far away.

_Fucking._

Zack never thought he’d need to see this.

But he does _need_ it.

Cloud’s been completely transformed, somehow, looking like him, but also not.

There’s a corset under that slinky dress he’s got on, for sure. Zack knows his waist is not that tiny, and he doesn’t have hourglass hips like he does now, _how_ even. Its navy blue, a deep navy blue, looks like the night sky, shimmery silver in delicately placed spots, and then smooth velvet. Tight mesh covers his arms; hides his defined muscles a bit more, softens his shoulders, high on his neck too, and cuts out into a heart shape neckline when the mesh meets the velvet, concealing that corset that’s giving him just the slightest _hint_ of breasts.

It’s his fucking legs that Zack suddenly cannot look away from. There’s a high slit, _thigh-high_ , in the dress, and that smooth bastard Andrea put Cloud in mesh stockings and chunky black heels.

Somehow, he looks edgy and sexy and probably as feminine as Cloud is ever going to get.

Zack’s not even aware of what happens the rest of the show. There’s a bit more dancing (more like Andrea dragging Cloud in circles) and then he’s outside in the cold air and he is still so _hot_. Aerith’s attached to his side, laughing and just going on about how pretty Cloud looks.

Zack can’t stop thinking about Cloud's legs. It’s cruel, this is a cruel thing Aerith has done to him. They hang back to the side alley that wraps around the HONEY BEE INN, a side door that probably goes into the stage room opens, and Cloud steps out into the alley.

Aerith makes a beeline for him. The crowd from the showing is still filing out of the club at a loud and impressed manner, so Zack follows Aerith into the alleyway. No way is Cloud going to step out into public with a massive group that just saw him get transformed into a girl.

Cloud looks even more different up close. His hair is still short, but it’s flattened and smoothed on one side with a lot of gel, all gathered to hang down on the right, his cowlicks on top that usually never stay down are smoothed into the one-sided asymmetrical line. His hair is actually pretty long, just shy of tickling his shoulder, the very front tips anyway, it all evens into an edgy looking bob. He’s got slinky long metal earrings on, silver, just as flashy and shimmery as the designs on his dress.

It’s the makeup that just fucks with Zack, like his damn sexy legs. Dark makeup, smokey liner, Zack’s never seen his eyes look so blue and bright. Zack can’t tell if the blush on his cheeks is his or the makeup and his lips look nice and pink, pouty. Like Zack just bit them a few times.

“Cloud!” Aerith’s grabbing his arms, trying to look into his eyes. He adverts his gaze with her every sway.

“Don’t-”

“But-”

“Not a word-”

“But-”

“No!” That last one sounds like he’s near embarrassment tears.

“But, Cloud. You’re so pretty!” She’s not lying; she turns to Zack, “right Zack?”

If Zack thought Cloud was avoiding Aerith’s eyes, he won’t even lift his head up in Zack’s direction.

That’s never stopped Zack before.

“Za-woah-”

He doesn’t care, he doesn’t care that Aerith is right there. Zack’s pushing into Cloud’s space, forcing his head up with a strong hand and smoothing his other along his side, around to his back. He can feel the corset underneath the dress, it’s pulled in tight and there’s a bit more fabric around Cloud’s waist, bunched to form out his hips a little more. He’s just pressing his lips on Cloud’s when a very sharp, fast smack hits the back of his head.

“Zack! No, he’s not for you.”

Not _for_ him?

Aerith sticks an arm between them and forces Zack off of Cloud with her body.

“You’re gonna ruin his makeup.” She’s already smoothing the hairs he’s irritated back into place.

He knows that is Cloud’s real blush on his face. He was right, this was a bad idea. A very bad idea. What did he do to Aerith to deserve this, besides the whole disappear for five years? Cloud's normally a distraction for him, now he'll never be able to focus. So, a bad idea.

He keeps thinking it the whole way towards Corneo’s mansion, dragging a little behind Cloud and Aerith. She's got her arm looped with Cloud's, probably so he doesn't fall. Those heels don’t give Cloud much of a choice but to walk with a bit more sway and every step, the slit of the dress lets his legs peek out. Surreal, it’s too surreal. Zack’s dreaming, this all a weird-ass dream. When he wakes up, he’ll never tell Cloud that he wants to fuck him in a slinky navy dress with sparkles.

Nope

Even though he wants to, so _bad._

“Okay,” Aerith says, they’ve made it to the bridge. There’s still no one standing guard out front, “it’s go time.”

“I can’t do this.” Cloud just blurts out.

“Yes, you can! You’re already in the dress, Cloud. Don’t you want to save Tifa?”

His shoulders are tense, but he nods. Really, how does mesh make him look all rounded out and toned, not unlike Tifa’s fit arms.

“Zack, go around back, wait for one of us to let you in.”

“You got it.”

Cloud still won’t look at him, he grabs his wrist as Aerith’s walking to the door, “hey, when we’ve got Tifa out, I’m gonna fuck you so hard in this dress, you’re not gonna be able to stand.”

 _That_ gets Cloud to look up at him, all slack and wide-eyed. Zack eye’s Aerith to make sure she’s not looking, and presses a fast kiss to Cloud’s lips, “Let's kick some ass, huh?”

He watches them slip inside the front doors and waits a few minutes before heading around back.

This had better work, if not, this fucking hard-on is not worth it.

***

Aerith only feels a tiny bit bad. She didn’t think Cloud would be so embarrassed. It’s all in good fun; she hopes he’s not mad at her when that embarrassment fades off. She also can’t believe Zack jumped him the second he got the chance. She’ll have to get him a leash, a freaking puppy.

The three guys at the front are still there. The middle one, with the silver hair, Leslie? The one that called her _stupid enough_ -ugh. Who’s the stupid one now? He seems surprised to see her back, takes a few looks at Cloud, and then his eyes narrow.

“Seriously,” he says to them.

Aerith smiles sweetly. At least the two idiots at his side don’t seem to recognize Cloud. She hands him their invite letters.

“Fine, I hope you know what you are doing,” Leslie says after a long beat of silence, he steps aside and the doors close behind them.

Now, they just have to find Tifa. She’s just as excited about that, she’s missed her. The two thugs at the front catcall the both of them and direct them to go to the end of the hall up the stairs. It’s not as big as it looks on the outside, so it’s just a short few minutes until they are inside a, supply room? It’s very dark, and lots of random stuff inside. The doors close behind them.

“Hey, Cloud,” she feels light-headed, “do you smell that?”

He’s trying to open the door, but it doesn’t budge.

“Cloud….” Really light-headed. She barely registers him saying something before seeing him fall to his knees; she’s not far behind him.

Vaguely, she hears other male voices, and then it’s dark.

And then cold. Really cold.

She wakes up to a soft voice she hasn’t heard in a long time. _Tifa._

“-my god, Cloud? What-how, your makeup. Your dress-”

“-Okay-thanks, nailed it, you can shut up now.”

Aerith laughs, slowly getting to her feet, “Tifa, hey,” she can’t help it, she goes right for her, “how ya doing?” She just barely manages not to hug her, only because her pretty crimson eyes look so surprised.

Right, she doesn’t know these people yet. Really, she’s got to just sit for a moment and think through what memories she has and doesn’t have yet. Before she really gets into trouble.

“Uh, fine?” Tifa manages, with a small shiver. Aerith thinks Cloud’s get up is slinky and sexy; Tifa’s barely wearing anything at all. The bright blue looks so pretty on her skin.

“I’m Aerith, I’m friends with Zack and Cloud.”

“O-okay.”

“We were worried about you, so we-”

“-Shut it,” Cloud barks at them, he’s already heading for the door, “-We need to get out of this room. I have to let Zack in.”

“Zack’s here?” Tifa asks. She’s following Cloud, so Aerith just goes as well. Got to stay together in Corneo’s place. Especially since it looks like they are in a dungeon. She knows that’s blood over in the corner and there's an odd-shaped table with spikes. This just became fifty percent less fun.

“Yeah, we have to take out Corneo.”

Take out like kill? Aerith’s pretty sure Andrea said just to get him to give up the HONEY BEE INN. Not that she really thinks Corneo deserves to stay alive.

“Wait,” Tifa grabs Cloud’s arm, “after you fell… when we got back to the slums. Some scummy guys came asking for Barret.”

“Okay.”

“So, I felt around, tried to see why. All I found out was that they were Corneo’s men.”

Cloud sighs, pinches the bridge of his nose, “so, what you want to talk to Corneo upfront.”

“Yes.”

“That’s _why_ I’m in this stupid dress.”

Aerith steps between them before Cloud gets any more worked up, “well, it’s worked out then. Since all three of us are the candidates.”

Tifa’s eyes widen a bit more, a tiny smirk on her full lips. Her eyes flicker, very quickly at Cloud.

“I guess,” Tifa says, “I still feel bad-”

“-Zack’s waiting.” Cloud gets her off, “let’s hurry up and do this.”

Tifa laughs at him, even as a loudspeaker tells them to get their asses up the stairs, “you want to do this?” She teases him. Aerith keeps in step with her, joining her laugh when Cloud says nothing.

It’s very bright, coming out of the dungeon, the room is all reds and golds and too much. It’s very tacky; Aerith can’t help her nose wrinkle at it. She notices Tifa does the same. Cloud’s just looking at the ground and tucked into himself. Probably trying to look a little more timid. He looks good, feminine even, but with her standing next to him, he does seem rather...muscley still. Maybe he should have been on Tifa’s other side. She’s at least just as ripped as him.

They don’t have to wait long, someone’s apparently very horny. Aerith tries not to make a horrified face as Don Corneo steps out from his introduction. The way he says ‘ _ladies_ ’, she can feel the bile in her throat. Tifa at least makes a noise next to her, good. Makes her feel better she’s not the only one who can’t hold in her disgust. Corneo makes a big show of checking each of them out. Steps between her and Tifa a few times. She doesn’t like the way he touches Cloud’s exposed thigh. Neither does he, she can see his arms tensing out the corner of her eye.

Corneo stops back in front of them, licking his lips a little too often, “well, well boys, looks like I’ve got a pretty lot this time. Today’s bride, so difficult to choose.”

Wait, “Today, only?”

“Oh no, today, tomorrow, and whoever he chooses again the next day too.” One of the lackeys says.

Aerith frowns, all of them…that means he’s keeping them all here until he gets tired of each of them? How many girls. How many girls has he defiled and killed? Aerith feels her left leg shake, it’s sick. Cloud’s right, take him out. That’s what they need to do. Don Corneo can rot in hell.

“Disgusting,” Cloud mutters, a little too loud in the quiet room. Aerith sees Tifa jerk her head at Cloud.

Corneo’s eyes…there’s a mean glint there; gets darker as he gets up in Cloud’s face.

“Got a mouth on you, Blondie.”

Aerith hates that laugh. She knows Cloud can take care of himself, but she wants to just shove her heel in Corneo’s fat belly. She has to bite her tongue from shouting, ‘get away from him.’ Cloud’s at least keeping his gaze, it's cold, seems to turn Corneo on though. He reaches out and roughly grabs Cloud’s chin.

“It’ll be so nice, to break that pretty little mouth in.” Corneo sneers at him, “boys, the other two are yours for now. This one’s going to learn what real punishment looks like.”

Cloud goes, barely, Aerith can see the twitch in his hand. He’s dragged back behind the walls and into the back room.

She immediately looks to Tifa. They lock eyes and even though Tifa doesn’t know her yet, Aerith knows she can read her already. They are brought down the short hallway and into a darker room where two other guys are waiting. Aerith eyes the half-blocked window; it’s larger than the rest on the building. A shadow moves on the outside, Zack’s out there. Perfect. There are only four of them; Tifa’s already eyeing the first one in the center that’s making grabby hands.

So gross.

It takes no time at all. Tifa gives her once last glance, a smirk she’s missed so much, and says, “only four? Doesn’t seem fair.”

“Better hurry, Cloud’s with the worst of them.” She quips back.

Just a kick, punch, and chair throw away from four knocked out guys on the floor. Would have been easier in her sundress and combat boots. But Tifa’s laughing breathlessly and their high five feels like a victory.

“Wait, Zack is outside. Tifa, help me move this.”

They don’t really move the pile of…stuff. Whatever it is. There's so much random stuff in this place. They just topple it all to the floor, bust the window hatch open and Zack is sticking his sunny smile into the dark room.

“Ladies.”

“-Ugh, why-”

“-No, please, Zack.-”

She and Tifa groan at him. She never wants to hear anyone call her a lady ever again. Even handsome, peppy Zack.

_Never again._

Tifa’s pulling her knuckle buster gloves from somewhere in her dress, glancing around for another weapon maybe. For her? That’s sweet. It would be easier to beat Corneo to an inch of his life with a weapon. Maybe she’ll take the fold-up chair with her. Zack’s only just finished climbing into the window and righting his buster when the double doors open behind them.

“Shit,” Tifa’s lifting her fists; Zack’s reaching for his buster.

It’s the Leslie guy, holding her staff? Looks like Cloud’s sword too. Huh.

“Andrea sends his regards; it’s up to you what you do with Corneo.” He tosses her staff at her, Cloud’s sword to Zack, and smoothly steps to the side.

“Uh, thanks?” the three of them chorus.

They just stand in there soaking in the oddity of what is happening.

“Wait,” Zack says, “he picked Cloud?”

“Yeah, we better hurry. Cloud mouthed off to him.”

The darkest look Aerith’s ever seen crosses Zack’s face.

It’s a good thing this mansion is not really a mansion. Only takes seconds to get back to Corneo’s ‘love den’. Not many of Corneo's thugs are left, it's an easy takedown, mostly since Zack is practically raging. Zack just cuts through them and doesn't wait for Tifa and Aerith to catch up. When they do Zack's splitting the doors open with the thrust of his buster sword, Cloud’s own weapon safely on his back. It’s not very pretty. Corneo’s got Cloud on the bed, his wrists bound, poorly, but still bound over his head. Looks like tape over his mouth. He’s fine though, all his clothes are still on, and his eyes are still his normal cold stare. Corneo is not even over him. Relief floods through her, good. He didn’t touch him yet.

Zack’s not chill at all, just seems to get another wave of rage. She can see his veins get more pronounced in his forearms, pulling in some mana then. Better get out of his way.

“Woah, Tifa, move over here.” She grabs her and pulls her to the far side corner, just as Zack’s taking a massive swing with his buster.

It cuts the corner of the bed right through, just grazing Corneo so the asshole's pant leg is split, a small scratch on his leg. Of course, the disgusting rat howls like Zack had stabbed him right through. Which, he’s just about too.

Tifa launches herself at him, gripping his arms, “Wait! Wait, Zack. I gotta find out some information first. Just…help Cloud.”

“He’s a dead man, Tifa. I’ll slice his head off.”

“After,” Aerith steps up too; maybe a gentle back touch will help calm Zack, “talk first. Help Cloud, yeah?”

Tifa’s already letting go and going to wrestle Corneo to the ground, ties his hands very tightly behind his back. Aerith hears her say “see how you like it, pig.”

Yeah. She thinks she’s missed Tifa the most.

Zack’s still got some anger in his body, but he’s all gentle with Cloud. The knot around his wrists comes apart easy and Zack’s pressing in close to him as Cloud sits up. Aerith can’t believe it; his hair is already bouncing back to normal. That gel barely held it through the ‘auditions’. Zack goes to remove the tape over Cloud’s mouth, but he stops him and rips it off himself with a wince.

“So,” Tifa’s cross-armed and staring down at Corneo. Pathetic, he’s whimpering, “you want to walk out of here alive, Corneo?” she sneers at him.

“You’ll tell us, exactly what we want.” Aerith jumps in. O-h, she wants to smash his head in so bad. She should have grabbed that fold-up chair anyway. Would’ve been more fun.

“Actually,” Cloud’s taking his sword from Zack, slicing it through the air to work out his arms, “you’ll do what we tell you too.”

“Y-you’re a man.” Corneo stutters.

“Yeah,” Zack’s still all hot and protective, “ _my_ man.”

It’s very satisfying, all four of them standing over Corneo’s trembling body. Aerith’s only got a sad feeling in the bottom of her stomach, if only someone had done this sooner. All those poor girls. She wishes her counterparts had given her clearer memories about this, but…so far, most of those memories seem to be JENOVA related and fleeting feelings of her friends.

“You sent your thugs, looking for avalanche members. Why?” Tifa’s already lifting her thin heel, slowly puts pressure on Corneo’s crotch. Yeah, right to the punches.

“N-no reason-”

A little more pressure.

“-Okay, I was paid to find a man with a gun for an arm.”

Tifa glances up at Zack and Cloud. Puts some more pressure down with her foot.

“Who was it?”

“- can’t tell you that, they’ll hunt me down-”

Tifa draws back, knee up high ready to smash down.

“Okay! It was ShinRa. ShinRa is looking for where Avalanche members live.”

Aerith gasps then, oh no. No, she sees it, a memory, just floats up to her. It’s a lot of screaming and fire. The helicopters are very loud. The plate. ShinRa’s going to drop the plate. _No._ A lot of pressure in her head follows after the memory settles.

“Why?” Tifa’s got a lot of pressure on Corneo again, “you’ve got three seconds. One. Two.-”

“F-fine! The plate, they’re going to drop the plate.”

“-What?-”

“-No-”

Zack and Tifa speak at the same time.

Corneo laughs, high on the hysteria side, “come tomorrow night, slum 7’s going to start looking pretty bleak.”

Tifa backs off immediately, “no…no. They can’t do that, they wouldn’t do that.”

Corneo huffs on the floor, “why don’t you ask your SOLDIER boy there.”

They do all look to Zack. He’s stiff, eyes burning, glowing. Rage. She’s never seen rage like that in Zack’s eyes. Is that…is that how he looks when he’s on SOLDIER missions? Aerith always wondered, was he so different when on ShinRa assignments? She’d told him once, a long time ago. She thought SOLDIERS were scary. Not Zack, but that rage…

That rage is.

Corneo’s just laughing it up on the floor. Cloud frowns, tilts his blade back and forth a bit. His heels are loud on the wooden floor. Aerith’s got to admit, the way he stands over Corneo, all pretty and shiny in the navy dress, sword tight in his grip. He looks hot. At least he'll distract Zack from all that anger, looking all edgy and pretty like that.

“One last thing,” Cloud’s already lining up his blade, “you’ll back out of your shares in the HONEY BEE INN.”

Corneo laughs and laughs, “You little bitch, you think I’m going to give up that? Free pussy whenever I please.”

Cloud’s eyes darken just as much as Zack’s had. He’s not as nice as Tifa, he presses right on in with his blade. Corneo screams. Aerith grabs for Tifa, she’s always been a little too soft, and she looks like she’s going to stop Cloud any moment. Aerith’s usually inclined to agree, but….

Corneo deserves worse. She pulls Tifa from the room, let’s Zack and Cloud finish the deal they had with Andrea.

Corneo’s screams echo through the mansion, so much that the two of them end up outside waiting for the boys. Tifa looks troubled and sad, and, a little scared. Aerith knows for Tifa, she still just met her, but she can’t help it. She hugs her anyway.

“It’s going to be okay. Tomorrow, we have till tomorrow. It’s only an hour walk to 7.”

Tifa hugs her back just as tight. It’s nice. Helps her not feel as guilty. She’s got the memories, but only some of them come in time to change something. Why, did she do the spell wrong? At least...at least this timeline they get a day. That’s better than others. Maybe they can save more people.

“You’re right.” Tifa says, rubbing her shoulders, “It’s a little weird, I just met you. But-”

“-Feels like we’ve been friends for a while?” Aerith grins at her. A secret she still has to keep. It's not the right time yet.

Tifa gets that soft smile that makes her look so pretty, “yeah.”

Cloud and Zack come out with set expressions and hard shoulders. They don't ask them what they did to Corneo.

“Done?” Aerith asks. They nod together.

At least Corneo can’t hurt the girls at the HONEY BEE INN any more.

They have to head back to the inn for their clothes and Cloud and Zack have to speak to Andrea. It’s somehow not that late in the night. Aerith feels exhausted, it’s always amazed her, how a few hours can feel like days sometimes. Seems everyone’s feeling that way by the weary silence among them the whole way back to the inn.

***

They all file into Andrea’s small office, heaviness surrounding them. Corneo just dropped a bomb on them. Zack can’t believe it. A whole plate, ShinRa’s just going to drop a whole plate on the slums. It’s double loose, kills those up top and below. Why, for a group of eco-terrorists, a _small_ group. Just send in a SOLDIER, they’d find Jessie and the others easy, could even deal with them silently. No, this plate drop. Zack can’t believe he ever thought ShinRa did some good in the world.

“It’s hard to tell by your expressions,” Andrea says into the silence, “but since you are back unscathed, you have succeeded?”

“Yeah,” Zack flips a small audio file onto the desk, it’s covered in blood, “got his word right here.”

Andrea frowns, “there’s blood on it.”

Cloud shrugs, “it’s his signature.”

“I see, you killed him then?”

Cloud hums, eyes to the ceiling, “parts of him.”

It makes Andrea laugh, “Then, I am in your favor. Thank you; I appreciate this more than you know.”

“Can I have my normal clothes back now?” Cloud asks.

It’s enough to break the tension on their shoulders, gets laughs out of Aerith and Tifa.

“Of course, I’ve set aside two rooms, if you wish to finish your night in Wall Market. On the house.” Andrea slides two card keys to them.

Great, Zack will take it. It’s only eleven, but he feels as if he’s been in Wall Market for days. He needs a nap and time to process.

And also, he’s still going to fuck Cloud in that dress. He has to at least laugh to himself; attraction really does make him dumb. The girls split off with tired mumbles and Cloud’s already taking the long slinky earrings off as Zack pushes open the door to their room.

It’s small, with mood lighting as the _only_ lighting. No surprise there. It’s clean though, which is nice, Zack doesn’t really expect it, but then again Andrea does run his club very differently from the rest of Wall Market. He takes off both his buster and Cloud’s double blade, puts them on the short desk in the far corner, where Cloud’s things are folded neatly. Zack adds his shoulder armor and harness. Feels good to take that weight off, his gloves too.

Cloud’s over by the bed nightstand, struggling with the second heel. His hair is all back to its normal spikes and shape. That hair gel didn’t stand a chance. Most of the makeup has faded, his eyeliner smudged even more.

Zack stamps down on the anger trying to flare up. He knows Cloud’s fine, but seeing him like that on Corneo’s bed…

Zack comes up behind Cloud, slides his hands on his waist, dipping under the dress and pulling Cloud back against him.

“Let's get this corset off you, looks a little tight.” Zack pulls some mana to his muscles and rips the corset down the front. He’s already so hard and he’s got no patience to unlace it. It falls to the floor with a heavy thud, a real corset then. It really did give Cloud a feminine shape, the dress falls differently on his trim waist and narrow hips, no more fake bust either. Zack can feel himself get even harder.

Cloud’s quiet, not even heavier breathing. It’s a little strange, but he pushes back against Zack’s body when he slides his hands down his front, palming at him through the dress.

Zack can’t get at his neck; the mesh is too high. He presses against the hollow of Cloud’s cheek, pulling his whole body as tight as he can against his front. The dress feels smooth and silky under his touch, he can’t stop sliding one of his hands all over Cloud, making sure to hold him against him with his other one, cupping and stroking at Cloud through the fabric.

“Ah” Cloud curls down a bit, finally got a sound out of him. Zack smiles against his cheek, curls down with Cloud so he can’t jerk out of his grasp if he is too sensitive.

It’s like his voice just sets a flame inside Zack, that anger mixing with lust. “Did he touch you?” Zack mutters against his cheek.

Cloud gasps out again, arching back this time, pushing into Zack’s hand more.

“N-no.”

“I’ll go back and actually kill him.”

Cloud laughs through a groan, grabbing onto Zack’s forearm, “y-you think I’d let a rat like him-ah”

Of course not. Cloud can take care of himself. Just, Zack can’t help the overwhelming need to protect Cloud. He’ll let it go then. Cloud’s fine, the girls are fine, they’ve learned something horrible, but they have time to do something about it, at least try too. Few hours, that’s it, a few hours rest and then they need to get back. It’s been too many emotions, too much in such a short amount of time, Zack just needs this.

It was one of the hottest things, seeing Cloud in this fucking dress, holding his sword ready to fight, fire in his eyes. Zack groans just thinking about it, rolls his hips against Cloud, and strokes his cock roughly. Another curl down, Zack follows. He needs to be touching as much of Cloud as possible.

He gets rougher with each stroke, each roll of their bodies until Zack can’t take it. He shoves Cloud front first against the wall next to the nightstand. Gets a thigh between his legs so they spread. It makes the slip of the dress fall forward, Cloud’s whole leg exposed, the curve of his ass just peeking out. It’s the fucking mesh stockings. They just get him. A wave of lust overwhelms him, He’s gotta be inside Cloud right this second.

He doesn’t undress, just unzips and pulls his cock out. Just the air alone feels so much better, he’s already dripping. He barely remembers to check the nightstand drawer for lube. Lucky him they’re in a fucking used-to-be brothel. It’s just a small amount, not really enough, but Zack dumps it on himself anyway. Better than just his pre-come.

He bunches the fabric of the dress up on Cloud’s lower back, exposing his ass to him. Zack can’t believe he’s just noticing now. Cloud’s wearing lacy underwear. Fucking seriously… he pushes his front against Cloud, trapping him against the wall, growling in his ear.

“They fucking put you in lacy pa-”

“-S-shut it,” Cloud cuts him off, groans back against him. “It’s embarrassing.”

It’s fucking hot. They’re small enough and delicate that Zack can just pull them aside. He presses the tip of his cock against Cloud’s entrance and just shoves in, letting the lace glide against his own cock as he slides inside Cloud. It’s rough and fast and probably not enough lube. Cloud shouts, his legs slip open a bit more, arches more so Zack can slide in easier. Those fucking legs and mesh stocking, it’s going to be the death of him.

He gets his hand under the dress this time; Cloud’s nearly slipped out of the lace around his cock. He strokes him hard, picking up the pace as he starts pounding into him. Zack plasters himself against him, biting at his ear and rolling his hips deep, drawing out gasps and moans from Cloud until his thrusting is just shy too rough and Cloud starts _whimpering._ Cloud’s dripping wet already, gives Zack an easier friction against his hand.

“That’s it beautiful,” he groans in Cloud’s ear, gets a sharp, high moan with his thrust.

It just sets Zack off. He slams into Cloud, fucking him with bruising speed and strength. Shit, he didn’t even realize until the warmth is flooding his veins, he’s pulled some of his mana into his muscles for extra strength. Cloud’s just, _taking it_ , legs spread for him, arched back so Zack can roll into his thrusts and get good and deep inside him. Zack’s near done so he slams inside a few good extra-hard thrusts and stills, spilling inside Cloud.

There’s going to be lots of bruises on him.

As Zack comes back from his orgasm, Cloud’s still whimpering and trembling. He hasn’t come yet, dripping all over the place and right at the edge. Zack spins him around, kneels down, and licks a long strip up Cloud’s cock. It only takes a few good head bobs and one hard suck at the tip of his cock before Cloud’s shouting and coming in his mouth. Zack’s barely finished swallowing before Cloud’s shaking legs just give out and he falls to the ground.

He looks real blissed out. When Zack touches him, Cloud makes little noises, his whole body must be overly sensitive. He leans in and kisses him, his normal gentle, long and wet, but not heated. Making sure to bring Cloud back down with something familiar.

The dress is a mess; Zack can’t believe Cloud let him keep it on the whole time. Zack goes about taking it off for him, he’s still shaking a lot. He slips the stockings down his legs. It feels weirdly intimate like he’s still inside Cloud. Takes the lacy undies off too. He has to lean Cloud against him to get at the clasp on the back of the neck and unzip the mesh shoulders. The dress is barely hanging on him when Cloud reaches a shaky arm up, rests it on Zack’s shoulder, digs his fingers into the hair at the back of Zack’s neck.

He’s staring at Zack through his lashes like he does when it’s just the two of them. It always makes Zack’s heart thump hard.

Zack hears it then, a faint, faint static in his head. But it’s different. It’s warm, feels like Cloud again, but more. More in his head and not just right in front of him. A rush of affection, just as the same emotion swims in Cloud’s eyes, he can feel what Cloud is feeling. He presses in for another kiss, gets Cloud’s other arm around his neck with it. He pulls the rest of the dress off him.

Cloud pulls back just enough to mutter, “Fucking, finally.”

Zack laughs into the kiss, bumps his nose with Cloud's, and gets a blinding three AM smile. Those beautiful rare ones that make everything worth it. Zack’s got to take off his own clothes before they crash, and when Cloud tries to stand up, he barely takes one step before his legs shake and almost give. Zack tries not to laugh, catches him, and takes the two steps to the bed with Cloud against him.

“Shut it-this is your fault.”

Zack crashes on top of him, getting an exaggerated grunt, “I warned you.” He says into Cloud’s chest.

Cloud just hustles him around so he can curl up on his side with his head pushed up under Zack’s chin.

Where he belongs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG, you guys. I've always played the fancy hand massage option in the 3 play through I did. Haha, I didn't know it was that different of a reaction if you choose the cheaper options. Which one did you guys choose, I still think the luxury one is the funniest, so PORNY, you know poor little Zack wouldn't have been able to take it. 
> 
> Also, I hate all those dresses Cloud wears in the game, the best one is the blue corset one, but still. -__-
> 
> Thank you so much for reading, it's very encouraging when you guys leave comments for me, specifically if I think the chapter is just meh from editing too long, but you guys always love it, I hope that keeps being the case! :)
> 
> As always, see ya next time!


	9. Wait, Take Me Apart and I'll Flow Like Water

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time's wasting.
> 
> *WARNING*  
> Triggers in this chapter: Non-con touching.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I am so sorry to do this to you guys. But, the suffering is about to begin. 
> 
> Don't worry too much, this is still, most definitely a fix-it fic.
> 
> I'm so glad you guys loved Wall Market, honestly, I had such a hard time not going darker. But, it was super fun to write. Thanks so much for all the love!
> 
> Happy Reading!

They jerk awake to a banging somewhere down the hall.

“-Zack-”

“-Cloud-”

A group of laughter after a sharp burst, and footsteps fading in the distance. Just people outside.

Cloud's groggy and his heart is pounding, he reaches for Zack, feels him moving closer too. He's exhausted, on edge. Feels the most drained since that first week out of his coma. Cloud’s trying to ease his breathing, holding on to Zack’s arm for grounding. Just a single noise, not even danger, has his heart pounding. Cloud's not sure why, this late at night, his mind still likes to go blank. Zack’s got him rolled under him, alarmed, hovering as if to protect him. He’s breathing harder too. Not just him then, Cloud thinks of static, Zack's eyes fading into a deep blue and blood dripping from his nose. He grips Zack's arm harder.

They both don't move, hold close together and wait, but no other noise. It’s just the stillness of the night. Their bodies both relax together and Zack huffs a laugh, tickling Cloud's cheek. Leans down and presses his head firmly on Cloud’s shoulder. His hands dig into Zack’s hair, combing it down his neck, keeping his head against him tightly. It's the blood, he can't stop thinking about all the blood from Zack's static episode. Pushes a far off pain in his chest and the roaring sound of heavy rain in his ears.

Zack hums against his skin, pressing his palm against his ribs in circles. Calming and makes him tired, but his mind won't quiet now. A weird strain in his chest lingers, after being pulled from too little sleep. They couldn’t have been asleep long, when Cloud shifts, he can still feel Zack’s come inside him. Wakes him even more, sighs without meaning too.

Any small noise Cloud makes, always grabs at Zack, brings his full attention to him. Habit from dragging him around for so long? Zack's hands are shifting, pushing Cloud into the pillows more, pulling away from him. He inhales too sharply, embarrassingly nervous for Zack to go far from him. He hates it, craves contact from Zack all the time. It's _too_ embarrassing, makes him feel weak. Zack clearly adores it, his eyes always go dark with lust when Cloud even twitches in his direction. Like now, glancing down at Cloud with those eyes, shifts down, and presses his lips against his sternum. So soft and slow. Does it over and over, just barely grazing, it’s setting Cloud’s nerves on fire. It still makes him get butterflies, Zack just barely touches his body and he’s falling apart.

Zack’s been…aggressive all day, fast and catches Cloud off guard, all of his kisses, his touches. Right now though, he’s extra sweet. His hands are smooth going down his thighs, gently spreading his legs so he can lay in between them. Pulls one of them up around his waist, easier for Zack to reach down and around his hips. He slowly moves along all over his body, the lightest lip touches. His fingers, Cloud feels them brush against his entrance once, makes him gasp and pull away a bit, feels more intense than normal.

Zack’s chuckle is low, it tickles his abs, “Sensitive?”

He is, overly so. Zack has never fucked him so rough before. His body, shocked by the sudden pressure of pleasure and pain, still feels every touch with such intensity. Zack smirks against his skin, the only sign he gets, and then he's shoving two fingers inside him, fast and gathering the come still there. Back to aggressive, a shock, it's still a shock. Cloud shouts trying to lift his whole body to pull away, it's just so intense, but Zack’s got him pulled in close. He pushes up, the only direction Zack will let him go, up against his body. One of his arms wraps around his lower back tightly, won’t let him pull away. He feels Zack getting hard against him.

“Na-ah, beautiful, you’re gonna stay right here.”

Zack finds that spot inside him, brushing of fingers and then just starts pressing hard, pulling out and curling against it. He won’t let up. It’s way too much, Cloud’s nerves are burning, it’s almost painful.

“Z-Zack,’” he can’t go anywhere, just has to let Zack do what he wants.

He does it faster, fucking him with his fingers, Cloud’s whole body is shaking. It’s all so fast, jarring him into a pleasure haze. Hurts and feels so good; he doesn’t want it to stop, but it needs too at the same time. Cloud can’t stop the rising of his voice, the high, short ‘ah’s, or the gasps that Zack is pulling out of him with every hard press in him. He can’t even keep his eyes open or his head up, it’s just so _much_. He curls in against Zack and shakes against him.

“Just a bit more.”

A bit more is a sudden on slaughter of Zack’s fingers, shoved in deep and trying to get deeper at a fast vibrating pace. It shocks his orgasm from him, hard, fast, painful, and _amazing_. Wave after wave of pleasure aftershocks rocking his body, even as he comes back. Zack’s still got his fingers in him, still pressing on him. Slow hard rubs, over and over. Building the heated pressure low in his stomach again. Cloud can feel tears cooling on the heat of his face and he can’t stop shaking and moaning embarrassing, desperate sounds.

“One more, you can, one more Cloudy-Sky” He's hard again, so quickly, it's never happened so fast. The pressure builds so tightly.

And then Zack’s pushing his thick cock inside him. It actually _is_ too much. Something inside him just explodes, breaks apart and Cloud can't stop from sobbing into Zack’s neck as he presses him down into the bed, thrusting deep and drags so slow in him. Zack’s whole body rolls along Cloud’s as he moves, all around him, in him, pressing and pressing.

It’s somehow more aggressive than the fast never-ending assault of his fingers. Stronger, rough slow drags against his very sensitive, _everything._

His gasps and sobs, embarrassed and doesn't care all at the same time. Zack’s stroking his cock. Just one slick stroke along with his thrusting and Cloud’s falling apart. He screams, arching up as much as Zack’s muscular body will let him, linning flush against him. Gasps in air and goes limp with a hazy, pleasant numbness. Barely holds on to Zack's biceps as he finishes inside him. He pulls out and flows down on top of Cloud, looking him in the eyes. Zack reaches out and pushes his hair back, soothing him over and over.

Zack’s saying things to him but Cloud’s got no idea, his voice is just a soft, warm rumble. Keeps him trembling against Zack and lets sleep pull at his mind. Zack’s _wrecked_ him, he needs it.

There’s a faint static sound. Cloud’s dazed mind barely registers, a faraway sense of fear, why now? But, there’s no Sephiroth or fire.

There’s just Zack.

***

It’s all white, blinding, like looking into the sun.

Fades away into a more familiar place. The mountains, blue and purple in the distance, snow just barely kissing the tops. It’s summer. The wheat fields are getting more golden every day and the leaves are still nice and green on the oak trees that line the end of town. It’s late in the afternoon; Cloud doesn’t really want to be in town, around people. He likes the wind in the trees and on his face, the shade spots with cool grass. Farther away from the mountain's base, things are more green, the reactor hasn’t gotten to it yet.

He could stay out here forever and sleep. Feels safe.

“Hey, Cloudy-Sky.”

Zack is blocking the sun rays that peek through the treetops. He looks…a little different. His hair is shorter, more bangs falling in his face. Isn’t there supposed to be a scar on his jaw? Zack’s still smiling down at him, reaches out and brushes a few of Cloud’s cowlicks down. They spring back up like always. Zack laughs like he’s never seen that happen before and then crashes down on top of Cloud. They settle into the grass, Zack’s a comforting weight on top of him.

“Can I kiss you?” he asks him. Weird.

Cloud laughs for him anyway and nods.

It’s sweet. Zack’s so sweet to him all the time. Their lips are a bit dry in the summer heat, but the pressure is nice and Cloud feels his lips tingle after a while. Just slow, lazy summer kisses; Zack laughs into them a few times, all smiles and a bit of teeth on his lips.

Cloud could stay this way forever, out in the trees with Zack.

Their kisses don’t deepen, but the summer heat is making Cloud dreamy and he keeps his eyes closed, hums happily when Zack’s hands slide along his neck, gentle, his usual. Feels nice, feels-

He can’t breathe. Squeezing, he’s choking.

Something else is tickling his face, thin strands; Cloud has to fight to open his eyes. He grips Zack’s wrist, trying to pull his hand away from his neck. Why, why is Zack choking him? He can’t...getting weak.

Cloud’s whole body freezes. Silver, silver hair is falling around him.

“Cloud,”

His eyes open wide.

Sephiroth’s over him, on top of him, touching him. One hand squeezing his throat, the other stroking his cheek like Zack does, his chest, stops there and pushes down hard, squeezing in time with his neck.

The fear is paralyzing, more than the pain. Sephiroth leans down so close, something in his eyes, look so cold and alien. Something…something under his skin moves, slithers across his cheek.

Everything’s getting fuzzy. Static a loud hum.

“This is how he keeps control?” Sephiroth’s lips are too close to his. No. Cloud feels tears stinging his eyes.

Get off

_Get off_

“This is how he keeps you from me?”

His hand is on one of his thighs. _No_. Only Zack. Cloud only wants Zack to touch him.

There’s a copper smell, blood. Drips down, splashes on Cloud’s cheek. A burning heat around him, fire.

Nibelheim is on fire. He can’t get Sephiroth off of him. He’s _touching_ him.

Smells like smoke and burning and blood.

There’s so much blood-dripping. It’s dripping from Sephiroth, from his eyes, from his mouth. It’s covering him, deep, deep red blood, almost black. It’s trying to get inside him.

“Give in to me, Cloud.”

_Puppet_

“Zack….”

Sephiroth laughs, low and raspy, something else is in there. A strange, haunted echo-y laugh. His hand stops squeezing his neck, wraps around the back of his head tenderly instead. It’s worse, makes his stomach roll with mako.

Don’t touch him, not like Zack.

“Give control to me, Cloud.”

_Puppet_

He’s too close, lips brushing against his skin, too close to him.

“He can’t hide you forever. Give in to me.”

_Puppet_

Fight him, Cloudy-Sky

“Zack?”

Sephiroth’s laughing, shaking his shoulders, twitching.

Fight him, Cloud. You can beat him.

Feels not so hot anymore. Feels like a cool breeze.

“Cloud, wake up!”

***

“Come on, beautiful, wake up.” Zack’s not sure if he’s making this worse, but leaving Cloud’s side feels wrong. His whole body is twitching, there are tears on his face and not the sweet ones from their earlier fucking.

“Cloud.”

He’d just gotten them comfortable after, admittedly, gone a little hard on Cloud, he’d kept scooting away from him, body over-sensitive. They were barely falling asleep when Cloud’s whole body seized up and starting twitching. Immediately, static had filled Zack’s head, the more painful one. Far away, like it wasn’t actually happening to him.

It’s finally faded and Cloud’s losing all the rigid lines in his body. Zack slides a little closer, he’d been screaming to get off him. That darkness he’d felt at Corneo’s, it’s lingering in his chest now. Who was on him, Corneo? Sephiroth, the darkness tells him. He hopes not, he hopes, even more, it wasn’t himself.

Cloud goes very limp and uncurls a little. Gives a small noise and he’s flickering his eyes open.

“Cloud.” He hovers his hands over him, unsure.

“Zack?” he’s rolling over a bit more, that glossy look fading into clear eyes, “wher-”

“Can I touch you?” he asks, his forearms twitch, it’s hard for him to keep back when touch is his first way of comfort. Cloud’s reaching for him anyway, sits up and pulls Zack to him.

Zack wants to hold him close, wrap him in his arms, but Cloud’s not letting him. He’s keeping Zack against him, holding him in his embrace, soothing hands on his back. As if he's the one just been mind-violated by Sephiroth.

“How?” Cloud asks him, voice so, _so_ quiet as if Zack will just disappear, “how do you stop it?”

Zack doesn’t know, it’s frustrating, Cloud’s so lost and he doesn’t have answers for him.

“I don’t _know_ , Cloud.”

“No, you helped me. _How_?” He's hugging Zack even tighter.

Helped him? Like Cloud does during his, gets rid of his static? Brings him out of it? Zack’s heart thumps loudly.

“It was him then?” Zack’s hesitant to say his name as if he’ll just materialize right there.

He feels Cloud's throat swallow thickly against his head.

“It’s always him.”

Zack feels sick.

“Did he- was he touching you?”

Cloud draws back with a small noise, looking into Zack’s eyes, questioning.

“You…you were yelling to get off you.” Hard to keep the worry and the small twinge of hurt from his voice.

Cloud frowns, small and sad. Moves right in to brush their lips together, “said-he said that’s how you control me.”

It’s a punch in the gut. A hard one. Is that what’s happening? Zack’s…controlling Cloud? How, how is that possible. Something, Hojo said…about JENOVA. It’s right there on the edge of his mind, but he just can’t put it together.

He feels sicker. Is all this then…has he controlled Cloud into being with him? Into wanting him?

“Zack.” So stern, when Zack looks in his eyes, there’s no trace of uncertainty or timid shyness. Unwavering confidence, real confidence, not his tough-guy mask, “you’re not. He's just trying to mess with us.”

“What if-”

“ _No._ It feels different, then when he’s trying to.”

Feels like Cloud for him then? The same? Just helping? Zack feels his head pulse with a headache. It’s all confusing; they don’t know enough to piece anything together, wild guesses in the dark.

“Zack,” How far is he able to influence him then? Just a little, his feelings? His thoughts? A lot?

“Zack,” Cloud yanks his head back up by his hair, eyes swimming with determination, “you _helped_ me.”

Okay, okay. There’s no use working himself into a spiral. They still know nothing. He laughs, embarrassingly with a drained wet sound. He falls forward, pushing Cloud back against the pillows, settling between his legs and pressing his face in Cloud’s chest.

Cloud holds him like he’s still going to vanish. Threads his hands through his hair, so soothing. Calming his thoughts and slowing his pulse. Cloud’s heartbeat is sweet under his ear.

“You always help me…” Zack hears as he’s drifting off.

***

Aerith can’t sleep. She’s tossed about too many times, waking up in a panic, as if she can hear the helicopters already. Side effect for her then, from that time parallel materia, memories so strong, feels as if she's constantly reliving them. It’s the least she deserves; Cloud’s got all the suffering. She knows, when Zack mentioned back at home, nausea from the mako. Carrying over into other timelines? Seems like such a severe side effect from the materia. Why just the mako carry over? Why not other things? Maybe she just hasn’t noticed other things in him yet. Worse things, she hopes not.

She sighs, it’s nearly three in the morning, little red lights of a clock mockingly flashing on the nightstand. When she sits up and slips her feet to the floor, Tifa’s laying wide awake across from her.

“Can’t sleep, either, huh,” Aerith says into the stillness.

Tifa sighs; squeezes her eyes shut like it’ll make their very quickly happening reality go away. She sits up too, eyes still sad when they open.

“You think…Corneo was lying?”

No, she doesn’t think that. Sees the plate falling in her head over and over.

“I think, the future isn’t set in stone. You know?” She says instead.

Oh, it didn’t make her feel better. Tifa’s whole body just sinks in more sadness. No, she hates when Tifa is sad.

- _Really hates when she's sad. She's been crying for days now, out on the road. Barret's death hitting her hard. Aerith isn't sure what to do to help. Cloud's barely even with them, zoned out most of the time, fighting the beckoning call of JENOVA in his blood. Tifa...just keeps crying. She doesn't know what to do._ -

She gets a very fast flash, in another lifetime, in a wasteland of JENOVA, just her, Tifa, and Cloud. She hates it. Makes Aerith’s own eyes sting. The memory keeps floating to her, Tifa dying soon after, protecting her. Cloud unresponsive and cold. Ugh, this isn’t supposed to go like this. Why can’t she just get the information and not all the heartache? Another side effect. It's okay, she can deal, she did it to herself.

“We should take your mind off it then. When we get back, what’s something you haven’t done in a long time you wanna do?” Aerith stands, she's got to shake her own tears, and flops down on Tifa’s bed, jostling her a bit.

At least she gets a smile, a sad one, but it’s better than the near tears eyes.

“Shopping? Topside, there are so many nicer things up there.”

“O-o, can I come with? I’ve been wanting new boots,” She wiggles her legs, even though her boots are over by the door. It makes Tifa laugh though.

“Sure, we can make Cloud and Zack be our pack chocobos.”

“Oh! And buy Cloud some cute, little dresses,” Aerith’s just thinking how sweet he’d be in a little summer dress. He'd hate it, Zack would love it. She gets a full, real laugh from Tifa for that idea.

“I think Zack’s brain would explode. Did you see the way he kept looking at Cloud on the way back here?”

Aerith laughs too, “You should have seen him at the start. I had to pull him off Cloud.”

They lean on each other and laugh probably a little too long at it. It’s fun, torturing their boys.

She remembers doing that too, in a timeline where Zack made it to Midgar, lots of teasing. Cloud had been so happy in that parallel, for a while anyway. Zack didn’t survive long there either. It’s sobering. Ugh, yeah, this memory thing really, _really_ sucks in the morning hours. She tries not to let it show. Tifa notices anyway, bumps their arms together.

“You okay?”

“Yeah,” She stares at the clock, “think the boys are awake?”

Tifa snorts, gives her a knowing look, “you think they even went to sleep?”

Aerith can’t help the blush on her face. It’s a little hard to stop thinking about it once she starts.

“It’s been almost five hours.” She says, that’s…a lot of stamina.

“They’re SOLDIERS; I’d think that’s nothing to them.” Tifa’s near laughing again.

“You think we should go bother them? I can’t try to sleep anymore.” Aerith says instead, better get off this path of thinking.

“Yeah, alright. A head start never hurts anyway.”

They clean up a little, quietly, so they don’t wake the people around them. The walls are pretty thin. It feels so nice to be out of that red gaudy, dress. Aerith likes flowy and loose clothing, much more movable. Tifa seems more herself as well, eyes a little tougher with her fight gloves on. It’s a quarter till four, and the hallways are dead silent. The club shuts down around two, so it’ll be a nice calm walk out. They have to go down the hall; Andrea had given the boys a room near the end of the hall. Probably for good reason.

“Okay,” Aerith says with a smile, “prepare yourself Tifa.” And knocks with her top knuckles.

There’s shuffling inside and then Cloud’s pretty face is peeking out from the door. He’s all sleepy-looking, eyes barely open. Barely any clothes on too, the two of them try not to giggle. It takes a few seconds before Cloud even seems to realize he’s answering the door. His eyes wake up a bit more as he focuses on their faces, blush creeping across his cheeks very quickly.

“Morning,” They both say, twin smiles on their faces.

“Uh.”

It makes Tifa bust out laughing, “Cloud, aren’t you going to let us in?”

“U-H.” He glances behind him and closes the door.

They both lean together and try not to laugh too loudly. It's just so easy, poor Cloud. Such an easy target; does most of the work himself. There’s more noise and then Zack’s opening the door again. He’s at least got his uniform trousers on. Aerith hears the water running in the small bathing room.

“Ladies-”

“-ugh-”

“-Zack-we told you-”

He’s smiling at them and lets them inside the tiny room. Oh, Andrea definitely gave them a different type of room. It’s barely even a place to sleep and the mood lighting is very telling.

“Thought we could get a head start back,” Tifa says, leaning up against the wall near the door.

Zack sighs with his whole body, “couldn’t sleep, huh?”

“No,” Aerith says.

The water turns off and before Zack can give him a shout, Cloud’s slipping out in a very tiny towel. There are _so_ many bruises on him. Aerith makes a little hum and looks up at the ceiling, she's embarrassed him enough, that dress thing probably maxed her out for a whole year. Still, Tifa was totally right. Cloud stills for just a second, adverts his gaze to no one but the floor, at least he’s not blushing this time. Zack, her and Tifa all stare at each other very pointedly so Cloud can get dressed. There’s not much to look to in the small room besides faces.

 _Okay_ , her and Tifa look at Zack, he’s not really adverting his gaze so much. Pretty much the opposite, very much the opposite. _Oh god_ , it would be a little gross if Zack wasn’t such a sweetie.

“Okay,” Cloud says, armor on and everything. He just stands there, staring...at Zack. He just keeps staring.

 _Oh, for the love of,_ just ridiculous, these two. Aerith slaps Zack’s bare arm, “put a shirt on, we gotta go."

Her tone is harsh enough it keeps them both from looking at each other the whole way down the hallway. Probably a record. They try to be as quiet as possible, but Zack and Cloud’s swords make more clanking noses then she’s realized, it's definitely waking some people up. Surprisingly, a few workers are moving about the lobby, they look awake and fresh, getting ready for an early, early day. Aerith wonders if there are shows all the time and not just at night. They return the key cards at the front desk and head out into the still-dark morning. It won’t be sunrise even by the time they get back to slum 7.

They just start on the main path without delay; all the restaurants are closed, so if they want food they will have to wait. It gets even darker as they reach the north end gate. They form up too, fiends like the early morning hours the best. Aerith stays by Tifa’s side and the boys keep ahead, but not too far. She notices they take turns glancing back at them every so often. So sweet.

It makes Tifa smile too.

Halfway there an odd rushing sound echoes from overhead and all their smiles drop. They all realize at once what it is.

 _Helicopters._ Corneo had lied to them then. That little snake. If Aerith ever sees him again, he's never seeing the light of day. Tifa’s whole body next to her breaks out in shakes.

“No,” she says, “no, no, not until tonight.”

“Let’s go,” Zack’s snipping, and they start at a dead run.

Cloud and Tifa are the fastest; she’s quickly pulled ahead of Aerith and matches Cloud’s speed. Zack, she notices, hangs back a bit, with her. It's sweet but makes her feel a little bad. She knows she's the slowest, next to two SOLDIERS and Tifa's powerhouse body.

It seems to take forever, even at their running pace; they won’t get there for at least another fifteen minutes. It’s terrible. A rushing of panic and fear and gasping lungs. She feels so terrible. She thought it had been the next night, she should have realized, darkness doesn’t always mean the beginning of the night. Finally, rounding an extra rocky and ruin-filled corner, the sky clears out a bit and the pillar for 7 comes into view.

There is gunfire sparkling all up and down it already.

_No._

At least six more helicopters pass over them menacingly. They can hear screaming as they get even closer.

The plate is still intact, but those helicopters are not being careful where or who they are shooting at. There are fires and debris already at the train station and the beginning of the slum. People are running into seven, not out, thinking safety at their homes. This is going to be so _bad._

“Cloud, look, Barret’s up there!” Tifa’s already veering off toward the pillar, Cloud right at her heel.

As they come to the base, Aerith can see a whole group of people shooting at the helicopters, Barret she recognizes from her timeline memories, but the others she doesn’t.

Cloud, Tifa, and Zack do. There is a hard blast and then a loud raspy shout as a slightly chunky man falls.

“Wedge!” All three of them shout. Tifa scoots forward like she’ll be able to catch him. He manages to stop his fall at first but then tumbles down in front of them. He’s alive though, already moving to get up. All four of them run forward, Aerith’s already pulling mana to her fingers, casting HEALING before they even touch Wedge.

Cloud gets to him first, “Wedge,” kneels next to him, a little surprised he’s healed some. Cloud glances at her with a quick nod.

“Cloud, bro...you’re alive.” Wedge winces out, Cloud’s already shifting him, Zack coming on the other side and helping him stand.

“Easy,” Zack says, “let us heal you a bit more.”

“I have to go back up, Barret-they’re all up there. ShinRa’s attacking th-”

“-We know,” Cloud says, letting Tifa take Wedge’s shoulder, “-I’m going up, stay with Wedge.”

Aerith rushes forward, takes Zack’s place too and she gives Wedge a worried smile. Looking her best to seem friendly. She’s never met Tifa’s Avalanche friends, just Barret. He’s the only one she knows. Not that Wedge would be nervous about her anyway, she's not exactly threatening. 

“Cloud!” Zack’s calling after him, the two of them already rushing up the stairwell.

“Tifa,” Wedge doesn’t look so good, Aerith brings more mana to her fingertips, “Marlene, we should go get Marlene.”

Tifa gasps, horrified that she forgot. Aerith can see she’s frozen, wanting to help the pillar, but-

“Come on,” Aerith says, casting some more HEALING on Wedge, “we’ll be faster if we all go.”

- _"If we all go." She says._

_Tifa's staring at her, so frozen in her spot, the plates already half coming down, cracking all along the middle._

_"Tifa! Come on, we have to help them, Cloud's already halfway."_

_"Right, okay." They rush up the steps, trying not to look at the burning rubble of slum 7._ -

A pressure every time a memory comes, always threatening her with a headache. This one...this one comes with many others. With fear too, she can’t send Tifa up that pillar, she doesn’t know what will happen now, in this time, but in half the parallels rushing in her mind, Tifa _dies_ up there. There’s a rough explosion a few levels up, Tifa’s whole body jerks forward. _No_ , she can’t let her, she doesn’t know. Half the time she dies, Aerith grabs her arm across Wedge.

“Tifa, please, we can help after we get Marlene.”

Something on her face must have convinced her, her eyes lose some of their fear and she nods. They both hoist Wedge up a bit more and turn with him. She pulls some more mana. Once more and Wedge should be able to run.

They hurry into the slums, the fighting and gunfire getting louder behind them.

***

Zack’s right behind Cloud, heart pounding in his chest. He can’t fucking believe this. ShinRa…SOLDIER…it’s all a fucking joke. Dropping a plate. ShinRa is supposed to protecting people, building a safer, better future. Is this... is this what happened in sector six? Did they drop that plate on purpose too? Before it was even done.

“Zack,” Cloud’s shouting over the gunfire and the wind noise, “SHIELD, they need SHIELDS.”

Biggs is a level above them, staring down too many ShinRa foot soldiers, with a fucking _pistol._ He looks hurt already. They take the stairs two at a time, Zack pulling mana into hands, he’s in reach, barely. Cloud is beating him up the stairs, swinging his massive sword as he rushes past Biggs.

 _Shit_ , Zack casts a SHIELD on him too. Little firecracker is going to get himself hurt rushing in like that. Now he knows how Angeal felt about him just going off the rails.

“Zack, Cloud,” Biggs looks exhausted, bullet scratches all over him, but Zack doesn’t see any major bleeding, “finally showed up, huh?”

Zack play punches his shoulder, “ease up there, this SHIELD won’t last forever, don’t get stupid.”

Biggs laughs and they turn to help Cloud, except- Cloud’s standing in the middle of fallen troops, gripping his sword tight, his eyes blazing and chest breathing heavily with anger.

“Shit, Cloud, save some fun for the rest of us,” Biggs says.

“You already had some fun,” Cloud’s flicking the blood off the tip of his sword. Biggs laughs, sounding exhausted. How long have they been fighting?

“Hey, is Wedge-”

“-He’s fine,” Zack cuts him off, “Tifa’s got him, went to get Marlene. You okay to keep going up?”

“Yeah.”

Zack casts HEALING over him anyway, just for an extra boost. Cloud’s run ahead again; it’s giving Zack’s chest panic pains. They are going to be talking about this. He and Biggs reach the next level just in time to see Cloud jump in front of Jessie, a helicopter lighting up the side they are on. Fucking-really, _really_ going to have a talk about it. Or shouting, Zack’s going to scream at him and then maybe fuck him until he cries again because this is also insanely hot.

Mostly taking years off his life, but also _hot._

Cloud’s SHIELD only takes a few bullets; most of them deflecting off his sword. It's making him all shimmery and blue. Biggs goes to Jessie, she's barely staying on her knees behind Cloud, so Zack goes for that fucking helicopter. Gets out onto the decking and shoots off a blast of fire through the open window. The pilot goes up in flames and Zack can feel ash in his mouth. The helicopter crashes into the lower level.

Ugh, he’s not a fan of fire materia, the ashy taste lasts forever.

He turns around to find all three of them huddled together. Jessie’s not looking too hot. Biggs has got her resting against his chest and Cloud’s kneeling close. Shit, Zack can see the blood blooming on her thigh and left side. A lot of blood.

Cloud beats him to the healing though, gentle for her, but from the wince he gives; he pulls a little too much mana too fast. Zack hasn't had a chance to train him with healing materia. It's a bit different from fighting ones. Jessie’s wounds heal up instantly, the blood drying.

“H-hey, pretty eyes,” She’s smiling up at Cloud, gripping onto Biggs’s arm tightly, “You survived that fall huh?”

“Yeah,”

Her eyes shift to Zack as he comes over. She could still be bleeding and looks like a concussion from the cut on her head.

She giggles at him, “brought your tall, dark and handsome too. Aren’t we lucky Biggs, got us some SOLDIERS for the fight.”

Biggs goes all soft around her; shifts so she can lean better, “think you’re talking too much there, Peppy. Rest up.”

She laughs again, “Aw, ain’t I the lucky one then, three cuties all for me.” She gets the laugh from Biggs at least.

It’s getting ugly around them; Lots of fire and heat. Zack can hear more helicopters on the way and Barret’s still up top, from his yelling, far up top. He’ll need back up soon.

“Go,” Zack says, hand grasping Cloud’s shoulder, “take Jessie and meet Tifa and Wedge, we’ll help Barret.”

Jessie laughs, wincing a little, “He’s gonna hate that we sent him a pair of mutts.”

“Hey,” Zack says, “we’re the best kind of mutt.”

Cloud’s rolling his eyes, he just knows it.

The whole pillar shakes and hot flames expand out from up top. They really need to go now, Barret's time is almost up. Zack's getting that itch between his shoulder blades like the universe is shifting on him again. Feels like that cliff out in the desert.

“Here, Chumps,” Zack replenishes Biggs SHIELD, gives one too Jessie, "just in case you run into trouble on the way down."

“T-That’s my nickname for y-ou,” Jessie’s giving him the worst finger gun he’s ever seen.

“Get a move on,” Cloud’s standing as Biggs picks up Jessie, he’s all eyes on her though, tenderness in them.

“You know, pretty eyes,” Jessie says, “If y-you don’t-”

“-hey,” Cloud’s moved in close, “don’t worry,” he ever so gently, gives Jessie the softest fist bump. Jessie goes all melty in Biggs’s arms and gives Cloud the sweetest smile she can manage.

The four of them all stare at each other one last time, one last ‘be safe’ with their eyes and split separate ways. Zack notices Cloud lingers on the stairs, watching them rush down.

With it being just the two of them, they blaze up the pillar, there’s not too much grunt machines and troopers can do against them. It’s a good warm-up; gets his adrenaline pumping and his mind clear. Zack knows who’s in those helicopters. Turks. Been running from them for too long now. He’s saving what’s left of his mana for them.

As they move on up, the pillar is coming apart. Stairways collapse right after them, ceilings explode and support beams crumble. Even if they manage to stop the plate separation, the pillar is the main infrastructure, it’ll collapse eventually. May take a day or two, but if ShinRa is hell-bent on destroying 7, all they have to do is not send in construction. They won’t. It’s over, this plate is coming down, either way; sealed its own fate the second Avalanche blew up the first reactor. Zack feels a wave of rage, takes out a few more mini mechs in one hit. Getting burned by ShinRa, it's never a little one, always third degree.

This is such bullshit. He loses his cool on the next group of troops, doesn’t even let Cloud touch a single one of them. He can't, they are all his. Got to cut through them, get rid of some of the hate with it. It's not the same as hunting fiends. This, fighting ShinRa, this is what will cleanse his soul. He'll get revenge, Angeal. He'll get it raging the whole way, for Angeal, for Cloud, for everyone that dies by the hands of great ShinRa. Even for that fucker Sephiroth. He’s heaving after, letting the weight of his buster sword keep him grounded. He expects Cloud to be giving him his worried eyes, instead, they match his own.

Rage for rage.

Glow for glow.

Determination.

It’s the last level, they've made it to the end; Zack can hear Barret getting shot up by a helicopter.

He grabs Cloud’s arm, pulls him hard against him, and smashes their lips in a hot, fast, angry kiss. Tastes like fire and smoke and sweetness. Cloud always tastes so fucking sweet. He bumps his forehead with Cloud's as he pulls away.

“Just in case.”

Cloud blinds him with that fucking three AM smile.

***

There’s so much fire and confusion everywhere. Helicopter crashes all over the slums. People are crying already and scared. Just standing there, why are they just standing there? She shouts at them as they run, Tifa's ahead of her, blasting paths clear with her wind punches. Aerith hates the feeling in her stomach, she knows they've already lost. That plate is coming down one way or another.

The bar is close, it’s a good thing too, they wasted time helping Wedge beat those stupid ShinRa guards. Not letting people through, a nightmare, disgusting. Trapping people to their deaths. She feels sick.

The bar is still intact, as it comes up in their view, the lights on the outside flickering. The buildings around it are all on fire, a crash site just a little ways down the path. It's hot and smoky. Fire's growing. Aerith and Tifa rush up the steps to Seventh Heaven and Tifa doesn't stop as they burst through the door. She rushes upstairs, calling for Marlene the whole time.

She’s only up there for seconds, before rushing down again, panicked.

“She’s not there, oh god.”

Behind the bar door, Aerith squints. A tiny shadow moves, and a very small, quiet cry, follows.

“Tifa, the bar.”

They both rush over it, in the far corner, a little girl with dark hair Aerith has never met is curled up and crying.

“Marlene!” Tifa skids down onto her knees, scooping the girl into her arms.

Kids, when they are sacred, they get confused easy. She expects Marlene to put up some resistance, but she doesn’t. Obviously very fond of Tifa, she grabs on to her tightly, even stops the tears.

“Tifa!” the poor thing is still shaking though, “Where’s Daddy?”

“Don’t worry, honey. He’s out protecting us. We’ve got to go okay.”

A loud crash shakes the building, Aerith looks to the window and see the fire next door is spreading, it’s already lit half the bar’s porch.

“Tifa, we gotta go,”

It’s a haze of smoke, even after they make it past the flames and down the steps. The slums burn fast, it's just a tinder box down under the plate, old scrap, too dry from hardly any weather. With all these crashes, the fire will burn everything down before the plate even falls. Tifa’s holding Marlene tight, hiding her face in her shoulder. The fire has spread too much. They don’t have many path options left. The way in is at least semi-open. It doesn't matter anyway, it's really their only option.

It’s hot and Aerith thinks she can smell some of her hair getting burnt. The smoke is so thick, even outside in the open. Makes it hard to breathe and she can't tell what is three feet in front of her. She reaches for Tifa’s hand, too dark in the smoke and the early morning. They’ll get separated. She reaches out to air.

A spark of fear, where? She can’t find Tifa’s hand.

“Tifa?”

Oh no, she’s lost her. Or she’s lost herself. So much smoke, she can only see half the pillar if she looks up. Sees a shot of fire materia fly into a helicopter. _Zack._

So much fire.

- _Fire, it's everywhere. She's chasing after Cloud, it's hard to keep up with him. He takes the stairs two at a time, panicked. They shouldn't have split up. Shouldn't have let Zack go alone. The fire is too strong and too hot._

_They see him on the ground, flames burning all around him, over him. She can't do anything but watch, she's out of mana._

_Cloud's screaming._ -

Aerith stumbles. A lot of memories today. She got none when they were interrogating Corneo, why so many of this moment? The plate dropping, there are so many different parallels for it. Is that why? Too many different outcomes? It's hard for her to navigate it, see what she should do to stop all the dying. Tifa, Zack. The Avalanche friends she's never met.

The smokes making the pressure worse, she feels fear gripping her heart. She can't find her way out.

“Tifa?” She calls again.

Nothing. She’s alone, there’s noon-

“Here,” a hand grabs onto hers, “I’m right here. This way,” pulls her through the smoke.

Tifa, a little soot smudged, but fine. Aerith almost cries. She grabs Tifa in a hug.

"Thank you," Marlene is not in her arms anymore, “Where?”

“Come on,” Tifa doesn’t let her hand go, just pulls her along with her, “Marlene’s with Wedge, Biggs, and Jessie, just outside the sector.”

They don’t have far to go, but the fire is licking at their heels and the smoke is never-ending. She’ll be coughing smoke for days. It’s almost too much and her grip on Tifa’s hand is tight.

Finally, a step into much cleaner air and she can see again. The train station just down to her left, there's crowds of people and just across the gate into the main path to Wall Market, Wedge has got Marlene on his shoulders. He's still looking pretty beat up, but he’s smiling wide at them. She can only assume the other two are Biggs and Jessie. They both look beaten and tired, but Jessie, she looks like she's barely hanging on.

“Can you heal Jessie? Biggs said Cloud did a bit, but I don’t think it’s enough. She looks pretty bad.” Tifa drops her hand. Turns to look at her, “oh, your hair, got a little crispy there.”

Aerith glances down; her right curl is looking a little darker and burnt. She laughs, relieved.

“Better than something else, right?”

Tifa laughs too, "right."

They cross over to the Avalanche trio that Aerith hasn’t really met. Jessie’s out cold against Biggs’s shoulder. She’s casting HEALING before anyone even gets a word out. The green light flutters around Jessie and her color looks better after the spell sinks in.

“Thank you,” Biggs tells her, though his eyes don’t leave Jessie’s pretty face.

“Of course.” She feels out of her element. She doesn’t know any of these faces, at all. But the short amount of time with them, even in the chaos, she can see they are important to Tifa. To Cloud and Zack.

“Aerith,” Tifa touches her shoulder softly, “I’m going up. I can’t just let them fight by themselves.”

Right, time to fight, time to protect Tifa, “Okay, I’ll come too.”

“No,” Tifa argues, “Aerith…please. Take them somewhere safe.”

_\- "it's not safe!" Tifa's rushing at her, tackles her to the concrete as the whole pillar shakes. Aerith can feel blood running down her face, dust is getting in her lungs. The gunshots and helicopters echo far away in her ears, into a ringing of silence._

_The first thing she sees through the dust settling, Tifa's outstretched arm._

_No, Aerith can't stop the stinging in her eyes._

_Tifa's buried under a massive pile of concrete, the ceiling fell right through. There's a pool of blood swimming around her slender hand.-_

These memories are like never-ending bullets. Shooting her when she's off guard. She has to blink away the tears from that one. Refocusing, she looks into Tifa's worried face. She's giving her pleading eyes. Leave her to go alone after the boys. Aerith swallows her fear.

Wedge, Marlene, Biggs, and Jessie….

She doesn’t know them.

She knows Tifa. With her pretty crimson eyes and caring smile.

Fifty percent.

Half the time.

She _dies._

“Tifa.”

***

Barret’s stuck right behind a fallen piece of pipe, using it as a wall from the never-ending wave of bullets. There's a single black helicopter hovering over the pillar’s top platform. It’s a good distraction for them to get to him. Dashing out, and sliding down as the bullets range into chaos after them.

Cloud’s up and peeking around the other side, sword out and ready, “Still alive and kicking?” He says to Barret.

“You’ve got to be kiddin’ me. Sent you two mutts to me, did they?”

Zack laughs, mutts they are. “Hey, it was your team or us and I think you’ll be happy to know your team abandoned you. So sorry.”

Barret’s staring at them with a gentler expression. Zack wouldn’t call it fond. Maybe, not -about -to -gun- their- faces- into- mush, kinda expression.

“I see,” Barret smiles at them, a first, “saved my guys then. You must really like 'em.”

Zack grins wide, “Eh, it was on the way.”

Cloud shrugs, coming back into cover as the bullets start again, “they’re alright.”

Barret laughs, loudly, reinvigorated, “you’re okay, you two. For ShinRa mutts.”

“That’s ex-ShinRa mutts,” Cloud says.

And then the most annoying thing happens.

Fucking Reno jumps outta the helicopter, all smirky and hot-headed.

“Damnit.” Zack curses.

“Hey-that’s the Turk, looking for Aerith?” Cloud asks, crouching low next to him.

Yeah and he’s a fast son of a bitch. They don’t have time for this, but no choice either. That’s gotta be Rude in that chopper then. Zack feels that itch getting worse.

“Barret,” Zack stands, breathes deep, “keep that bird busy for us?”

“You got it, SOLDIER boy.”

Time to see how fast Cloud really is, he turns to him. The heat is intense; fire’s going all over, smoke and gunshots. It’s still dark out and embers get caught up in the gusts, burn their faces, and their arms. Cloud looks fucking gorgeous in it all, strength and grace, eyes burning so, so blue.

“You ready beautiful.” He says. He doesn’t need to ask. He knows he is. Cloud's always ready.

It’s time to stop running.

Barret’s giving them an opening, they jut out, come up behind Reno. He’s at the separation console already. Cloud’s itching to go for him, Zack sees him from the corner of his eye, slowly sneaking in.

“You might wanna re-think that,” Zack calls into the howling wind and flames.

Reno knows him well, trained with him, been on assignments with him, hell, he’s been fucking hunting him.

The typing stops all at once, his thin body goes very still.

“Are you fucking me,” Reno says, a cut short laugh of disbelief, turns to them, “SOLDIER Zack Fair.”

“Reno, think maybe mass genocide is a bit out of your job description.”

That hit a spot, Reno gets tense, a vulnerable look in his fox eyes. A Turk first though, hides it all away behind casual cockiness and cold attitude. Barret’s giving Rude a run for his money behind them, no bullets have even come close to them.

Reno’s shaking with laughter, unhinged, but Reno has always been that way.

“Can’t fucking believe this, I spend a year hunting you down, and you just show up outta the-fucking blue.”

Cloud’s about to pounce, all this talk is irritating him. That’s okay, it’s irritating Zack too. Just a flick of his eyes and Cloud’s running. Reno’s fast, fast enough to stop the heavy sword swing Cloud just took at him. But fast enough for the both of them?

“I’m trying to work here,” Reno grits at Cloud, already crackling his mag-rod.

It’s all flashes of lightning and electricity from there. Reno is fast, Zack knows too fast for him, so he holds steady, keeps his sight on Cloud as much as he can. Keeps the SHIELDS up until the mana is running low in his veins. Gets in hits and blocks when he can, when Reno's running close to him, trying to keep from Cloud. Only works for so long, Reno doesn't have the stamina of mako enhancements. He'll run down eventually. Cloud’s just destroying Reno, hits back with his own flashes of lightning. Gets behind him a few good times. It’s perfect line up shots for Zack, double hits.

Zack thinks they got him when Barret does a perfect hit into the engine of the helicopter-crashes all pretty and hot on the platform. Zack knows it’s not the end of Rude. The never-ending bullet train is nice to have gone. Unfortunately, they’ve got two Turks to deal with now. At least one of them is pretty much done. Reno's staggering into Rude like he's the one rising from a fiery chopper crash.

It’s a harder fight, Zack and Barret take on Rude together, but it leaves Cloud rushing about after Reno alone. They are just flashes in Zack’s eyes and it’s making him nervous. They are winning, but it feels like they are losing. Reno's getting wilder with every hit, madder and meaner.

The constant ‘Awaiting confirmation’ warning is loud in his ears.

Wind's howling even louder.

There’s a particularly loud zap sound and Zack sees Cloud going skidding across the platform. He looks bad, shocks all along his body, the shimmery shatter of his SHIELD. Zack’s whole body lurches, he misses his next swing at Rude. He can’t get to Cloud in time, Reno’s right on him.

No! _Cloud._

“Fuck off him, bitch.”

Tifa? She just comes busting up from the stairs, a massive kick backed by her wind materia sends Reno clear across the ground, right into the still smoldering chopper wreckage. He could fucking kiss her. She’s checking on Cloud, pulling him up and dumping a potion down his throat, he sees him almost throw it back up. Minty. Zack can smell it over the flames and the smoke.

It’s also the end of their luck, Barret and he have Rude cornered, and Reno has yet to rise from Tifa’s massive kick. But a strong wind, shoving everything out, comes over them. A dark shadow passes over them through all the platform lights. A helicopter, a special one, by Zack's gut feeling. Zack knows who is ripping the door open on the chopper, doesn't even have to get a good look at him, Tseng.

Distracted, Zack barely notices Rude sending a painful kick to Barret's torso, sending him skidding back, and knocking into Tifa near the edge of the platform. A standstill then, Zack swings his buster a bit, takes a few steps at Rude.

"Try it," Pulls all he's got left of his mana into his muscles, "See if you make it, Turk."

Rude's like him. Strength and power. It's why Reno's a good partner for him, like Cloud is for Zack. Picking up the slack in each other. Zack's still got the upper hand, he's not beaten down.

Does have a helicopter with the Turk leader hanging on his back though.

Rude does try, doesn't make it, not even close. Zack sinks a massive slash, sends Rude crashing-back cracking crashing into the console. He's only alive cause that pretty SHIELD around him is shimmering and breaks apart.

Now for that chopper. He turns, sees Cloud rushing at him, sword on his back, and yelling. The wind's too loud, the fire's too strong. Zack's out of mana, so he's got to take a jump swing for the chopper. It's low, not too hard of a leap, and Tseng's just standing with the door wide open. He looks, surprised to see Zack, just the slightest indication on his face. Says something into his earpiece, lifts an odd-looking pistol at him.

Is that all, Zack's stood down a whole fucking platoon.

Sharp pain in his shoulder, one hit? What is this? Single bullets won't bring down a SOLDIER.

He goes for the jump, except-

-He stumbles, a weird warmth floods his system. The shoulder shot, Zack frowns down at it, a dart? Pulls it out slow, feels so slow.

Fuck. He's going numb, looks up for Cloud. All the sound is slowing down, chopper just a dull hum in the background.

He hears it first-

_"Plate separation initiated."_

Turns to see Rude's shaking hand falling back to the ground with his body. Fuck. Zack takes another step, another stumble. Cloud...

He turns back to Cloud, He's still running at him, so slow. Everything is way too slow. Zack shakes his head, doesn't help. His heart nearly stops as he looks back up, Tseng's pointing the tranquilizer at Cloud. Double shot. Right in the back.

It's instant and Zack can't reach him. Cloud stumbles to a stop, lingers, and just drops.

The platform below him starts to shake and the steel sky above him starts to fall. All sound leaves his ears. Takes a step forward, has to reach Cloud. He's hurt.

Another

Step

Times moving in weird chunks, misses things in between. Everything's a bit...choppy.

Sees the helicopter hovering low over the platform, Rude moving past with him Reno on his shoulders.

The whole world is shifting, everything is falling.

Sees Tifa over Barret's shoulder, they're running the other way, a cable? Toward a cable down into the slums. She's screaming, but he can't hear.

It's getting dark, Zack falls to his knees but he can't feel it.

Cloud...

Someone's taking Cloud, tossing him in the helicopter.

It's dark, doesn't he have some fighting to finish?

He can stay awake...

He's not on the ground anymore, everything's moving sideways? Levels out.

Cloud, he's right there, so close to him. Pale, looks so pale, got scorch marks from electricity all over him. Zack reaches out. So hard to move. His hand grazes Cloud’s face, he looks so sweet. Sleeping.

There's nothing.

***

It’s surprising, to find them here, in Midgar. He hadn’t been all that concerned, after all, he has many test subjects he can use, but to see two he thought where long lost turn up.

Yes, very surprising.

Considering they had been failures in project Reunion, he barely remembers even putting them away for organ usage. The blonde one, yes, he remembers him first. Reacted well to the S-cells, not to the mako. Too sensitive. Then how? How is he up and moving? That amount of mako he had injected in him, should still be comatose. If not dead. But, he's not. Good lungs, steady heart, balanced muscle build. Should be a husk, but the footage from the pillar separation unit says far from it. On par with SOLDIER, even without training.

Very interesting.

The SOLDIER, he’s not a surprise, of course he'd still be alive. A further blood draw, yes, he thinks that, and a few other tests will help solve if anything really has changed in his DNA. But, he doubts it. SOLDIERS already have JENOVA...not S-cells. Perhaps? Yes, will have to see.

Where all his others have failed, these two, his first failures, have come back to him.

He’ll have to thank Tseng for informing him of their presence. He may, after so long, have another chance at the reunion project succeeding.

For his son.

For the promised land.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know what is the worst. THE actual worst, Jessie's death. Fucking, shot me in the heart, that weak little fist bump she gives Cloud right as she dies. I cry, that is my Titanic man. They were suppose to have pizza! 
> 
> Anyways, I know it was a lot of action in this chapter, so it was probably a fast read, I think I'll try to make the next chapter a little longer to make up for it. Let me know what you think, as always! So fun to hear from you guys! Are we getting nervous? Don't worry, I won't hurt our boys too much.
> 
> Thanks for reading! See ya next time, you know in the dark suffering of angst land.
> 
> **PS: I'm so glad you love all the smut. Cause you're getting it every chapter. There is not enough smut out there for these too.


	10. When I was Young, I Felt Immortal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Suffering ahead. Here be hard left turns. 
> 
> *WARNING*  
> TRIGGERS: Needles, Blood, Alien Horror, slight torture. Slight graphic gore. BODY WORMS for the girls in the back. lol

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good Evening from the PNW, I hope everyone is ready for some Angst. So sorry loves, it'll make all the sweet parts that much sweeter. 
> 
> Sorry to leave you guys on that cliff hanger! I did however love how much you guys let me know how much you hate Hojo. HAHA, I too hate him, that's why I gotta write him so evil, so it'll be more satisfying in the end. It was also very entertaining having you all scream NO at me. lol
> 
> Happy Reading! Or you know as happy as this one gets.

It’s all white.

This again. No static yet. He just feels, warm, like when Cloud’s all tucked up against him.

So pretty, Cloud’s just so pretty, all relaxed and-

He’s really there, just a few steps from him. Zack goes to him.

Cloud doesn’t look as relaxed as he first thought. Curled in, Zack can see the twitching in his left arm, his hand flexing into a grip and un-flexing. He kneels, slowly, in case the movement wakes him. Moves him onto his back, sits, and pulls him up against his chest. His twitching stops as Zack settles his head against his shoulder.

“Hey, you,” Cloud seems half wake, mumbling incoherently at him, turns more into Zack’s body, “never seen you here before.”

He hasn’t. Cloud is usually _pulling_ him from this place. It’s odd. What does that mean?

“Ma…ko…”

“Mmm, what’s that beautiful?” Zack leans his head down.

Cloud’s body trembles violently, all at once, just once. Stills before his bright eyes are slowly blinking up at Zack. Vulnerable and confused, he's not focusing on Zack's face.

“Zack?”

“Yeah, I’m right here, Cloudy-sky.”

“T-tastes all minty.”

Shit, _that’s_ what he said. Mako. Zack can’t taste it, can’t smell any mint. Only happening to Cloud then? Is this even really Cloud, or just all in Zack's head?

“C-cold.” He mumbles again and scoots in closer. He can’t get any closer; he’s all pushed up against Zack.

His whole body starts to shiver, goosebumps rising on his arms. Zack frowns, this…seems too real to be all in his head. He keeps waiting for it, the sudden change in his surroundings, or for Sephiroth to just come painfully shoving into his mind. Nothing, just him and Cloud.

“Zack?”

“Yeah, beautiful, I’m right here.” Can he not see him? “Can’t you see me?”

“…No.”

A shiver of fear runs down his spine. How can he not see him? He can’t panic then, Cloud’s lost, he can’t have Zack losing his cool on him. He needs him.

“What can you see?”

“….s’all white.”

Headspace, at least that’s what Zack thinks it is, their headspaces. He can hear him…not feel him? Zack leans in, presses a soft kiss onto Cloud’s lips.

“Did you feel that?”

Cloud’s whole face frowns, concentrating hard.

“Did you…kiss me?”

Okay, he can barely feel him. Maybe, he was too soft? He kisses him again, presses hard this time, gets his hand threading in his hair. There is no reaction back, it’s a little weird. Feels wrong, like Cloud doesn't want him. When he pulls back and looks into Cloud’s face, he's staring just past his ear? A tiny flicker of confusion.

“Again?” Cloud asks him, “kissed me again?”

“Sure did, you're just so pretty.”

Cloud laughs, it’s very quiet.

“Zack…arm, hurts.” His left arm twitches as he says it.

“Looks okay,” Zack says, he reaches out and rubs his twitching muscles.

He gets a large gasp, Cloud pressing up to him. He feels that then. Cloud relaxes against him for just a minute, stills and Zack sees it.

The wave of terror washing over him, his whole body tense and shaking, eyes swimming and focused hard past Zack's shoulder.

“Zack, he’s here. ”

Zack snaps his head up, can’t see any danger. No Silver or weird, intense, sea green alien eyes.

Just in Cloud’s head, Sephiroth’s just in his head? Fuck.

“Cloud, fight him, you can.”

If Zack listens hard enough, cutting through the silence in a far off radio hum, is the softest line of static.

“Zack…” Cloud’s whole body starts twitching all over.

He stills, eyes go blank, coma blank.

“Cloud?’

***

He’s regaining consciousness with loud static in his head. It’s distracting enough for him to linger in forgetfulness. He is somewhere inside, it’s dark, lots of computer screens. His vision is still pretty blurry, head feels heavy, hard to keep it up. Cloud’s still clear in his mind, can almost feel him in his arms still, it’s jarring then, when he can focus correctly and he’s lying across from him.

He’s only in his boxer briefs, his skin looks so pale, sickly pale. There’s an IV in his left arm, green…there is green liquid in the bag it’s attached too.

_Mako._

It kick starts Zack’s mind, the plate-Tifa, Barret. He thinks he saw them get off safely. He hopes.

Shit, Tseng got them good. Which means they’re at ShinRa headquarters. Looks like a lab he’s in…fuck, double, triple fuck. Hojo’s got them.

He waits for the sudden crash of fear, his worst one since they’ve been running from Nibelheim.

He just gets anger instead and a sense of calmness. It’s happened, the past has finally caught up to him. He can beat it, he’s already done it before. This time, he won’t be so afraid; he’s done with that. This time, there’s going to be hell raining down.

Just has to get out of here first. His instinct is to go to Cloud, but when he moves, he can’t. Restraints are cutting into his wrists and his biceps, his ankles. They’re metal. SOLDIER precautions then. He’s upright, probably a foot off the ground, back against solid metal, the wall? An odd medical bed? He can see the whole room, it’s small. Not Hojo’s creepy-ass main laboratory than. At least that’s good. Not deep into the building. Must be just past the science department entrance.

Okay, things he can do.

He can…move his hand, kind of. He’s out of mana, so no extra strength to help him break out of the restraints. Not yet, maybe a few days without an ether. He's not planning on sticking around that long. 

That’s about it. Shit, he really needs to get to Cloud.

“Cloud.”

Nothing, out cold. He’s not twitching either, hopefully that means Sephiroth’s not still running around in his mind. The static Zack woke with is gone, a good indication but, he sounded so _scared._ It’s a total turn around for Cloud, even when he is scared, hides it well. Just like every other thing he’s feeling.

The more Zack looks at him, the worst he seems. There are injection sites and blood draw marks all along his arm, a weird skin patch between his chest and shoulder. Scorch marks and bruising from the fight with Reno litter his body. Makes it hard to tell if there are new ones. Except for those dark bruises on his wrists and ankles, those are new. Restraint marks, he fought them, that dark of bruising, his body would have to be pushing on them hard. Tried to get out…or…or had things done to him? Zack has to breathe deep through his nose, push past the anger that bubbles up in his stomach. How long have they been here already?

He’s surprised Hojo didn’t just shove them back into mako tanks. The small ones in this room, they look dry and Zack tastes no mint. That IV in Cloud’s arm though…looks like it’s been there a while. Why, what’s the mako do? He’s had so much it can’t possibly do anything but damage now.

Push past the rage…he can’t use it right now. He’s got to stay focused and figure out how to help Cloud.

That’s all ruined when the door swishes open and Hojo steps in.

Immediate rage sirens blare in his head and he can’t think about anything except ripping everything in his path to shreds. _Fucking Hojo._ He jerks hard at the restraints, huh. Not as strong as he thought, he feels them tug a bit. If only he had some mana left.

“Ah, finally awake then. Good, good. I have some questions for you.”

 _Questions_ , is this guy fucking serious. Talking to him like he is a patient, not a test subject. Sick, it’s sick and Zack can’t wait to punch him in the guts.

“Fuck off.”

“Yes…well, seeing as you don’t really have a choice. I suggest you answer, make things…less hard on yourself.”

Hojo comes close, but stands to the side, out of his reach, if he got any kind of pull from this entrapment, Zack won't be able to reach him. Not stupid then…of course not. The SOLDIER program is his program. He draws blood from Zack and he can only glare and sneer at him. It’s not the first time he’s taken blood, Zack can see his own arm is marked up with blood draws and injections too. Still no mako for him. Then what…more JENOVA cells? What the hell is Hojo putting in their bodies?

“I’m curious, SOLDIER Fair, have you experienced any…need to-”

“-yeah, the need to smash your fucking face in.”

Hojo frowns at him, “yes…charming. I forgot, how often stupidity runs in the SOLDIER program.”

Are you _fucking_ …Zack is going to kill him. Actually kill him.

“Mm, I suppose it doesn’t matter. Your blood work is very fascinating, but, ultimately, Reunion project has not taken effect in you. I would like to know why, though. Why _you?_ Mmmmm.” Hojo’s mutters off to himself, clearly not really talking to Zack. He shakes his blood vile, injects something dark into it, and then fucking injects into Cloud’s IV.

What the _fuck._

Immediately, Cloud’s body starts convulsing and rage overtakes Zack.

“Don’t fucking _touch_ him.” He can’t scream…or yell or shout, he’s shaking with rage, pushing him into a calm. He can only hear the blood rushing in his ears.

Hojo glances at him with a questioning look, “Hm, a rather strong reaction. Know this one well then?” _This one_ , like they aren't people, just things.

There’s a beep from one of the screens and Hojo moves out of his main sightline, called by the noise. Zack can’t take his eyes off Cloud. He’s not convulsing anymore, but his IV arm has odd navy lines traveling up his skin at the injection site. He looks even paler.

“O-h, what’s this. You do know him well, _too well_.” Hojo’s sneering at him, “found yourself a little play toy, SOLDIER Fair.”

How, fucking, _dare_ he. His rage can’t possibly consume him anymore, but it keeps growing and growing. Zack can feel the metal cuffs cutting his skin, he's pressing so hard to get out of them. Good, the pain will help him.

“Yes…interesting, that would explain why…” trails off, sets down the datapad he’s reading, and just dips out.

Fuck.

He’s so useless, just stuck here. Cloud…fuck, _Cloud._ He needs to get to him and he _can’t._

All he can do is wait and shake with rage.

***

Aerith sits outside on her porch step, she’s all nervous, chewing on her pinky nail, staring at the entrance bridge to her garden. She’s mad at herself. She should have gone up with Tifa. The terrible crumbling and shattering earthquake as the plate fell. She felt it as they were just getting into sector five. That was hours ago, the day crawling by slowly.

It’s evening now, sun low over the wall, spots of golden light making the rock look more red. Noone showed. Are they dead? All of them? Zack, Cloud, Barret, Tifa…where are they? She’s so mad. She should have just went up with Tifa. Should have just sent Wedge and the other two to sector five, they know the slums. They could have gotten here without her.

Her eyes burn.

“Aerith?”

She gasps so loudly, the air intake hurts her lungs.

“Tifa!” She doesn’t care if their friendship is barely two days new. Tifa is Tifa, she’s _her_ Tifa, no matter what parallel she’s in. She rushes to her and hugs her tight. When she pulls back, Tifa’s near crying.

“W-we didn’t…stop it. The plate, it’s-”

“I know…” Aerith says, sadness dripping in her voice, “We felt it…”

“We?” Barret, Barret is alive too; he’s looking just as tired, coming around the rock entrance. _Good,_ she hasn’t met him yet.

“Yes,” She says, suddenly, she feels much better, “Your Avalanche trio? And your little girl.” She motions to her house.

“Marlene? You have Marlene?” Barret nearly yells at her. It’s okay, she understands.

“See, Barret, I told you Aerith would keep her safe.”

“Mmmm,” Aerith nods, “come on. I think there is a whole house full of people who want to see you.”

Barret can barely contain himself, pushes past them, and bursts into her house. She hears her mom gasp, but a chorus from Wedge, Biggs, and Jessie drown her out. Aerith laughs, a little watery.

She turns back to Tifa’s sad eyes. Hold on…

“Where’s Cloud…Zack?” that fear comes rushing back in her chest. No, no, they can’t be dead….

This. This is the final timeline. They _can’t_ be.

“…ShinRa has them.” Tifa whispers, so defeated. She wants to hug her again.

ShinRa…has them? She searches her mind for memories. There are _none._ This has never happened before…she doesn’t know what to do. She has her own far off memories of being in ShinRa labs. So then, was she supposed to be captured? Not Cloud and Zack?

No memory, all new. Never happened. She’s walking blind.

They have to get them back.

“Tifa,” She grabs her arms, she’s shaking, “We’ll get them back. First chance we get.”

Tifa gives her a small inhale of surprise, before a watery smile, “yeah. First on the list.”

They head into her house, Tifa must be exhausted. She could use a little cleaning up. She’s covered in soot and ember burns all over her exposed skin. Inside, Barret’s nearly crying with Marlene sitting on his lap, surrounded by Jessie, Biggs, and Wedge. All three of them bandaged up some way, but smiling, relieved to see their friends.

Aerith was happy to see that Jessie’s injuries were not as bad as the looked; mostly her collapse was from exhaustion. Her concussion was easy enough to heal and Cloud had done a good job patching her up on the pillar. Biggs, luckily just had a pulled muscle and a few bullet scraps. Wedge too, was not as bad as she expected. His whole body black and blue from that fall. He'll feel it for a few more days, even with the HEALING.

“Tifa!” all three of them exclaim, Jessie bounces up from her seat and hugs her tight, doesn't even let her get her arms unpinned to hug back.

“I’m so sorry, Tifa,” Jessie says, “the bar…if I had known…this is all our fault.”

“No,” Barret says, “it’s not. It’s ShinRa’s blame. No matter what.”

Aerith agrees. ShinRa won’t stop, they’ve done terrible things even before they were provoked. Tifa doesn’t look like she agrees. She looks…tired, down to her soul.

“Wait,” Biggs says, “where are our mercs?”

A long silence, Tifa turns away from them.

“Tifa?” Jessie asks so timidly like the answer will hurt her.

“ShinRa has them…” Barret speaks up and the trio explode all at once,

“-What-”

“-No, how-”

“-we’ve got to get them-”

“Guys,” Tifa is near tears again, “guys…just.” She’s too tired. She needs rest and a distraction. They can decide how to help Cloud and Zack tomorrow. After everyone has rested up. They’ll be okay…

The absence of memories makes her feel the opposite. She’s been in the unknown before, she’d say usually even. No one gets to know the future, she’s lucky she gets half as much from the parallel materia as she does.

“Come on,” Aerith gently pushes Tifa towards the stairs, “want to clean up a bit before dinner?”

The sad silence lasts until dinner is ready and Tifa is back downstairs in borrowed clothes and soft, clean hair. She still looks as if she's given up. The Avalanche trio sees it too. Jessie’s much gentler with her, soft honey eyes and sweet laughs. Biggs is good at steering the conversation away from heaviness and Wedge seems to know what jokes will make Tifa smile no matter what. By the time the main course is done, it’s a loud affair. More honest happiness filling the room. She feels only slightly bad for her Mother. But it’s nice and comforting, having such a full house. Aerith is so used to being alone, just her and her Mother. Barret’s laugh, Jessie’s teasing, everyone is kind and just happy to be alive. Tifa’s smile is more real by the time the sun goes down all the way.

Good. A time of happiness, everyone needs it.

It’s a challenge, finding spots for everyone to sleep. Barret, Wedge, and Marlene in one room. Jessie, Biggs, and Tifa in her own. It's cramped, but she sees the lingering touches everyone gives each other. The too-long conversations, hesitant to end. The whole group stays up late, fighting yawns and droopy eyes. Eventually, they head to bed, even if they don't want too. With all the rooms packed, Aerith will share with her mother, if she can manage to stop her brain from thinking enough to be tired. It’s _too_ quiet in the house now, so she goes and sits out on the porch again.

She loves being out in the garden at night. There are always so many fireflies and she likes how the odd street lamp flickers every now and then. It’s much cooler out to, especially with the waterfalls so close. Out here, with the planet, she can think clearer. Where the flowers whisper to her it'll be alright. She can't help but think what do they know, they are flowers. Her lilies bristle a little at her for that thought. It makes her laugh.

She’s possibly gotten in over her head. This materia, the parallel one, she doesn’t even see how she first got it. Does it even exist in her current time? If not, an off chance then, that in some random parallel, one little materia, just changes the whole universe? There are so many questions she still doesn’t know, like why is JENOVA in every timeline? Is there no place that the vicious parasite doesn’t exist?

Maybe, Gaia is supposed to die. That seems so, unfair. How is everything good in the universe supposed to just die?

Maybe…maybe she can’t see the timelines JENOVA doesn't exist in. That was the spell she used after all, focusing on JENOVA. So then…somewhere, is there no ShinRa?

Is she living with her real Mother? Her people? Are humans even that widespread somewhere else? What if…it’s just the Cetra?

“O-h, boy.” She leans her forehead on her knees; this is way too much to think about.

First thing then. Zack and Cloud. She’s got no memory of this, so it’s the first to happen in a timeline with JENOVA then? But why? Because…is it because Zack has never lived this long?

_-“Pick a timeline where Zack lives”_

_“Just give me Zack, I’ll never hold this against you.”-_

Is Zack, not supposed to live? In any JENOVA timeline? Is that the changing factor? If so, why? She doesn’t understand. What’s so special about Zack?

Ha, she has to laugh at herself. She can hear him in her head, playing fake-hurt.

That can’t be it, there must be another one with him living longer… _there_ , it’s slowly coming to her, so few of them with him alive, it’s a parallel very far from this one.

_-“One time, then.” Zack laughs, quietly, not wanting to wake Cloud._

_She laughs back, under her hand. It’s a warm night out for once, and the sky is actually clear enough to see all the stars. They haven’t seen the stars in a long time. They’ve finally reached the far south of the land, where JENOVA has barely started her infection spread. She feels safe down here and sad knowing they’ll have to return north, soon too._

_The fire crackles and Cloud curls in on himself, starts whimpering._

_Aerith sits up, pulling some mana to her fingers. He’s been getting worse. Zack holds a hand out to stop her, leans over Cloud, his hand brushing through his blonde hair. Whispers so quietly she can’t hear, even being this close to them._

_He wakes, shaking, and looking up at Zack like he doesn’t know where or who he is._

_“Come on then, Cloudy-Sky, let’s see it.”_

_Cloud frowns, turns so he can hide his face in Zack’s stomach, and exposes his left side. Zack looks at her with a knowing eye and nods, very stern and serious._ _It’s an odd look for Zack, but, it’s been stuck on his expression for days, weeks now. Aerith shifts closer, pulling even more mana to her hands. Not that it helps, HEALING only helps stop it for so long. Only keeps the pain down so Cloud can travel._

_Very carefully, Zack takes Cloud’s shoulder armor off, slips the sleeve of his one-armed jacket down, places the whole jacket on the ground. She can see it already, there’s black ooze on the fabric._

_His arm looks bad, gets worse as Zack slides his glove and bandages off. His whole hand is black. Weird thick, lifted veins running in between his fingers and up his arm. It fades, into his skin, underneath, turning his normal veins black until it disappears at his normal, human-looking shoulder._

_She thinks she’s going to be sick, the thick veins on his hand, they are wiggling viciously, and every so often, a pulse like a heartbeat sends little tiny ripples shooting up into his real veins, pushing the infection farther up his arm. Under his more human skin, looks like little worms moving._ _The tips of his fingers are cracked deep, like the desert outside Midgar, bleeding a lot, but his blood isn’t red anymore, it’s all black and thick, oozing. Underneath, there is weird, purple/pale pink alien-looking flesh._

_“Shit,” Zack says, very carefully, lifts Cloud’s arm._

_It doesn’t matter how gentle they are with him, anytime his bare skin touches anything…_

_Cloud’s trying not to scream. She can see in the line of his shoulders. Must be biting his lip, he’s whimpering and shaking so bad._

_“I know, I know, I’m sorry beautiful.” Zack looks near tears. He hates hurting Cloud._

_Aerith works quickly, a cooling spell first, to stop the JENOVA cells from wiggling, then a quick burst of heat. She hates that one; it’s the one that hurts Cloud the most. He does scream at the heat, loud and so full of suffering. Zack’s not even much of a comfort for him; he gets so lost in the pain._

_Then the healing spell, to quickly seal in any human cells left. There’s not much, not in his hand. She notices the longer she looks, his fingers look like they are trying to meld together. He must be pulling them apart every day._

_Oh, god-that’s why he’s always flexing his hand…trying to keep his flesh from fusing._

_She finishes with another blast of icy frost, get rid of some of the aches._

_Cloud’s still trembling in Zack’s lap, but he’s not crying out in pain anymore, just heavy breathing._

_Zack’s got tears on his face though, can’t stop them the whole time he re-dresses Cloud’s arm. She feels so horrible. The night silence is loud._

_Later, when she goes to look for more firewood, she feels even worse. She doesn’t mean too, but out here, there’s no privacy anymore. She has to cover her mouth from her gasp and slips behind one of the oak trees on the edge of the forest. She’s interrupting them. She knows…she’s heard them before, when they think she’s sleeping. They are always considerate, try to be quiet, or wait for a fast moment together when she’s off doing something._

_But she always feels bad if she comes back too early, they jump and separate like they aren’t supposed to even look at each other._

_Cloud is always better the day after. More, as if he’s coming back to himself. He’s happier, responds to them on time, his pain is low. She doesn’t know why. Is it something about Zack? Or just the endorphins? It made her laugh in the beginning. When Cloud wasn’t so bad. Zack’s magical healing sex powers. Now she kinda wishes it were true._

_That’s why, she always feels bad, when she interrupts them. Feels like she’s robbing Cloud of a better day. She waits till they quiet and then a little longer after. The stars are bright; it’s enough to keep her occupied._

_Cloud’s curled up under Zack’s chin when she walks back to their tiny fire-camp. He’s completely out, chest rising evenly, wrapped up tight in Zack’s arms._

_She feels Zack’s eyes on her after she gets comfortable enough to sleep. They glow bright, an icy blue._

_“Thank you.” He whispers._

_“It helps him. I don’t mind.” She says back, “You can tell me to skedaddle, you know. When you guys want too.”_

_He looks sad then. Something she shouldn’t have said?’_

_“Za-”_

_“-Skedaddle?” He teases her. She laughs into her arm. Change of topic then. Too much heaviness for the day. –_

Oh, that one _hurts_ a lot. She sighs deeply. Seeing the fading end to that specific timeline. Cloud dies before either of them. Not in battle and not from Sephiroth. He just…dies. In his sleep. Doesn’t wake up one day. Zack doesn’t make it much farther and she…she dies alone in the collapsing of time.

Yeah, that one _really_ hurts. She better make sure this parallel doesn’t end up like that. She rubs roughly at her eyes. Seriously, she came outside to feel better. Instead, she’s thought herself into a sad spiral.

She wishes Zack was here.

She wishes she could tell someone about this.

She wishes it were Cloud. It’s guilt she’ll never rid. She didn’t think he’d suffer so much. Over and over, just… _so_ much. Someday, maybe, once this is finally over, for reals, no more JENOVA. She’ll get to tell him, ask for him to forgive her.

_-“It’s okay, Aerith, I’m not mad.”_

_“Cloud…”_

_In a rare show of affection, he pulls her into a hug, “I forgive you.”-_

Oh, no, she ends up crying anyway. She has told him in the past.

“Aerith.”

She jumps a little. Man, she didn’t even hear the door open. She hears Zack laughing at her again. She’s going to punch him in the arm for all this non-real laughing he’s doing at her.

“Are you okay?” It’s Tifa, she’s behind her, legs at her back, leaning over her to look at her face, “oh, you’re crying. What’s wrong?”

Aerith shakes her head, scoots a little so Tifa can sit next to her on the step, “nothing, just, you know. Middle of the night thinking.”

Tifa laughs knowingly, “oh, yeah. Those are definitely the worst kind of thoughts,” she bumps her side with her own, “Anything I can help clear up?”

So kind. Tifa’s always been so kind to everyone. Maybe…she wants to tell someone so bad. If, if this really is it. The end of the spell, this timeline, maybe. She’s told people before and nothing seemed to have happened in those parallels because of it.

_Maybe._

“Can I tell you a secret?”’

“Oh, I love secrets. Sure.” Tifa wiggles her body a bit as if she’s settling in for storytime.

Aerith laughs, she guesses she really is, “It’s a big confusing one. You might not believe me.”

“I see, serious then?”

Aerith nods.

“Well,” Tifa looks out at her garden with warm eyes, “tell me anyway. I have some you might not believe either.”

Aerith knows those ones, same story as Cloud’s. Nibelheim, Sephiroth.

“Okay, at the risk of sounding insane, you ready?”

“Ready,” Tifa sing-songs back at her.

“I know the future-kind of, future- adjacent.”

Tifa just blinks at her. Yep, totally does not believe her, she laughs a little, “what do you mean?”

It’s a sucker punch and probably not very nice but, “I knew the plate would fall on slum 7.”

Tifa looks shell-shocked at her, breathing a bit deeper, “h-how? What.”

Aerith sighs, “I know things…that have happened before. Not everything, sometimes I don’t know it until it’s just about to happen. But….”

“Before?” Tifa frowns, “like before in the past?”

“Mmmm, more like before, as in different timelines.”

There’s no way she’s going to believe her. They still just met. She should have waited. Maybe she should have told Zack-that day Cloud fell through the church. She had basically just blurted it out anyway, calling Cloud’s name before she knew him.

“So…the plate…we never stop it?” She really is just giving out all the sad feelings today. Bleeding out onto other people.

“I’m sorry, I…I thought Corneo was telling the truth, it…it happens at night, I didn’t think it’d be in the morning. I thought we had more time.”

“I believe you.”

What, really. Must show on her face. Tifa smiles at her, a gentle one.

“There’s more to it,” Aerith admits.

“I got time.”

***

Zack can’t take it anymore. Hours, it’s been _hours._

They came in not long after Hojo had left the first time. Two troopers and some lab coat. They came in and took Cloud away. Not far…Zack can hear him. He’s screaming. So _much_ screaming. It’s never-ending, hours, he knows, sees it on the tiny little clock on the computer monitors. Still screaming right now. His voice is getting raw, starting to break in between…whatever they are doing to him. Cloud.

Hojo comes in, Zack sees flashes in the room over. Looks like lightning. Shocking him? They’re shocking him? Why…

Something is different, Nibelheim, it wasn’t like this. This is torture; it’s…what is this?

Zack feels the rage over push the heartache, lunges the best he can at Hojo. Nothing phases him, just gives him bored eyes. _Bored._

“Now, now, settle down. You’ll be happy to know, I’m moving you to another room, with your blondie.”

Great, now he gets to _see_ them torturing Cloud. This rage is going to kill him. If that’s Hojo’s plan, then it’s working. He takes another blood sample from him first, Zack has to stay put and watch him slip it under a microscope.

“Surprising, very.” Hojo stands up and looks at him over his glasses, “why do they bend to your DNA. I’ve never seen this happen.” He’s not talking to him; he’s studying him, “What about you makes JENOVA conform.”

“W-what…” Zack’s having a hard time thinking about anything but his rage.

“Yes, very odd. I’ve never seen cells that can overpower JENOVA’s. Even Sephiroth’s change back. Is it the mako? What causes the mutation to stay?”

_What._

Two troopers come in. Hojo waves at them. They look nervous to even come close to him. He’s sure the look on his face is not encouraging. Hojo rolls his eyes at them when he notices they are hovering.

“Oh, he’s not able to get you. Go on, I need him in room 206,”

They don’t budge. Good, let’s see them fucking try it. Hojo just sighs, grabs a very long needle, oh shit. Stabs him in the neck with it, _seriously_. Fucking ow.

“Better? He’ll be out by the time you walk over to him.”

He is.

He wakes up in a much more sinister lab. He's still got no bearing on where in ShinRa he is, other than the science department, that could be anywhere. It's more than one floor. He’s still restrained, but in a chair now. That could be good, easier to get out of. It’s much darker in this lab and the walls are lined with weird-looking specimens. They look so…alien. Some of them are labeled, JNVA-1 through JNVA-6, others just have x’s on them.

Once his eyes adjust, he spots Cloud. It _hurts_. He looks so bad. They’ve still got that fucking mako drip in his arm, a larger bag now on the hook. There’s blood at the corners of his mouth. If they were shocking him…must have bitten his tongue. New markings line his torso, over his arms, all across his chest. Tight bindings. More track marks, a lot more. What are they injecting him with?

The door hisses and Hojo comes in, along with two other lab coats, at least they have the decency to look uncomfortable. He’s snapping new gloves on, nods to the other two, and comes over to Zack.

“Now, this is going to be an interesting test. I’m sure you’ve realized by now, though you have proven to me you’re not that bright-”

Fucking-what the fuck.

“-you have a little _connection_ , with your friend. Not the one I am looking for but. Perhaps I can use your cells after all. At least as a blueprint.”

Hojo nods again, and one of the others injects a bright green liquid into Cloud. Hojo jabs the same liquid into his arm. It stings and feels like fire crackling under his skin.

“This should jump-start it. I doubt there’s enough of your cells in him to make the connection strong enough for total control.”

Control…Cloud had said…no. He is then…he can…no. How, how is that possible? The JENOVA cells?

A horrible realization comes over Zack, that’s how. That’s how Sephiroth can get into their heads, Project Reunion. That’s why Sephiroth can’t find Cloud…Zack’s cells are interfering? Before he can even fully finish the thought, a rush of static fills his head.

It’s different this time, fast, just a loud growing noise until it evens out into a warm crackling sound, like a dying fire.

He can hear a heartbeat…Cloud’s. He feels him breathing as if he's right on him. Feels the lingering ache of pain from whatever they’ve been doing to him. And then…as if it wasn’t enough. Hojo just jabs Cloud in the side with a shock rod. Pain erupts all across Zack’s torso, his body twitches, but it’s nothing to the scream Cloud lets out. He tries to double over, but can’t. They’ve tied him down. His whole body twitches in painful waves after. Zack can feel them, dulled, like a memory of past injury. Damnit, he can feel Cloud’s eyes stinging.

The rage in him is almost as painful, he can barely breath through it. He’s going to fucking kill them. All of them, when he gets free. It’s going to be slow and painful.

“I think that proves it, pair it with the blood tests. The dominant cells don’t connect completely, keeps from receiving too much information from the host. Very interesting, the same as S-cells. Except, yours don’t change back. They stay yours” Talking, so much talking. He's not even talking to Zack, just thinking out loud. It's making him numb.

And then just for kicks, that fucker just shocks Cloud again, much harder. Zack can feel it roll through his whole body as if the rod was stuck in his own side. He feels Cloud blackout for a second-his presence fades and then comes back, feels like his lungs are gasping just as much as Cloud's. But he’s not breathing hard at all, just Cloud is.

Fuck, Zack can feel his own eyes stinging now. He can’t take this; this is just the beginning, he has to get them out. _Now._

“Put him in the tube,” Hojo says, “I’ll harvest some of his cells later. I’ve never seen anyone so sensitive to JENOVA manipulation. With his cells, I’ll be able to make complete clones for S-cells. Make a note of that so I don’t overlook it like last time.”

They are dragging Cloud’s body, weak, he’s so weak, he’s barely awake. They yank out the IV and shove him in one of the glass tanks against the wall.

No, it’s a mako tank. _No._

Zack can feel Cloud’s fear…it’s building so quickly, as the tank door slides closed.

Minty, he can taste it. Smell it already. The tube starts to fill and Zack’s heart breaks, the rage tears on his face burn. He can hear Cloud’s thoughts, he’s so scared. Not the mako, _no more mako_. Just over and over in his head.

In their heads.

Zack’s going to kill every single person in this whole building.

“As for you,” Hojo comes over, stares down at him with a dark, gleeful look in his eye, “I need you to keep making those amazing cells of yours. I can’t believe it, a fully integrated JENOVA DNA. It is a pity, Sephiroth won’t be able to have any control over you soon, but, you’ll lay the groundwork for so much more.”

“W-why,” Cloud’s panic is making it hard for him to focus, “Why…so much mako?”

“Ah, yes for your little toy. Weakens the mind, SOLDIER Fair, I should have realized it back in Nibelheim. I don’t need husks, too far gone for long term connection. Just need to weaken the mind for him.”

A sharp jab to shoulder, a needle, his vision’s going dark.

“Zack…”

Tastes like mint.

***

Aerith feels ridiculous saying all this out loud. That she’s a Cetra, maybe the last one, and that she’s seen the world end terribly too many times. Maybe, in the heat of battle, at the end of the world, it didn’t sound so stupid. But here, in her garden, telling Tifa -hey, she made a weird time-jump spell that gives her knowledge of all timelines so she can kill an alien parasite. Okay, maybe she left out the parasite part. And that Cloud’s her anchor. She can…add that stuff in later. It’s already been the better part of an hour. The Cetra part took most of it.

At least Tifa seems to be getting it. Or at least…pretending to get it.

“So, not to diminish any of this, but why are you telling me?” She asks.

Aerith doesn’t really want to tell her it’s because she’s going to explode with overwhelming emotions and she just needs to vent. It will be nice to have someone she can at least lean on if she’s feeling confused. Talk out memories with even. Tifa’s the most level headed person she knows.

“It gets to be, a lot. Just, don’t really want to lose my way.”

“Oh,” Tifa’s shoulders soften, her smile pleased, “but, we just met.”

“You just met me.” Aerith corrects her, before wincing. That probably sounds really creepy.

Tifa just laughs, “that must be weird. Sorry if I’m not the same…”

That’s just dumb; Tifa’s always great, usually pretty similar. The only of them that’s been pretty different is…well. He’s not even here yet.

“What don’t be silly. You're just you. Every version of you is the best.”

Tifa’s whole face lights up and her round cheeks flush a bright pink. She looks so cute, with the fireflies glowing in her eyes and her soft laugh. Warm spreads through Aerith's whole body. Just sitting with Tifa makes her feel better like everything will work out. Really, _really_ , she missed her the most. Aerith leans over, rests her head on Tifa’s shoulder. Strong, ready to fight, just like all her others.

“So…now that I know this secret, you going to tell me why you were really crying?” Tifa asks.

She doesn’t feel like talking about Cloud and how she’s royally screwed him through every timeline from here till…forever maybe. Even if this is the last one, the side effects, she doubts they will stop. It’s a lot of parallels collapsing and combining.

She just sighs instead.

“No, huh?” Tifa wraps an arm around her, “That’s okay. You can tell me when you feel better about it.”

She’ll never feel better about this.

“There is something,” Aerith still doesn’t get it, why Cloud and Zack are at ShinRa and not her, “I don’t know about this, it’s a first.”

“What is?”

“Cloud and Zack…normally. It’s me. I’m the one that’s supposed to be in ShinRa right now.”

“What,” Tifa jerks forward a bit, looking at her in surprise, “then…why?”

“Why do they want them? I don’t know.”

Something to do with Nibelheim? It’s the one area she’s a little blank on. She knows about their escape and Zack’s journey of dragging Cloud, comatose around for a year. She knows it too well. But the actual four years they were missing? Every timeline Zack and Cloud have been pretty tight-lipped about it. She just knows it has to do with Sephiroth, JENOVA, and trauma. A lot of trauma. Most of Cloud’s counterparts never even work it out, just…suffer.

Makes her mad.

“It’s going to be bad…isn’t it?” Tifa asks her.

She feels it will be, it’s a growing storm on her mind. Maybe...they shouldn’t wait too long to get them back.

“I hope not.” She says instead.

“Well, let’s do something about that then.”

They both jump, knocking into each other. Seriously, how many times is she not going to hear her front door open? The thing has the loudest squeak all other times of day.

Leaning in the doorway, tossing and catching a grenade, is Jessie, smirking at them. She tosses it one more time and re-pockets it. She’s fully suited up in her Avalanche armor. Somehow, she manages to swagger coolly down one step of stairs. Walks out onto the garden path and crosses her arms at them, as if she's about to give them a lecture.

“So?” She says, “What are we waiting for? Let’s go.”

“Jessie,” Tifa says, “it’s midnight.”

“So what, we got a way up and a way down.”

Aerith doesn’t get it. The trains are not working at all. Everything will be halted for a good week at least.

Tifa huffs, “Do we?”

“Yeah, _hello_ ,” Jessie pulls out her grappling hook, “I got two extra.”

“Biggs will kill us if we go without them,” Tifa argues back.

“I left a note, besides, what, all six of us are going to barge into ShinRa headquarters? Get real.”

She has a point. Three would be much easier. Aerith feels her heart flutter. Her mother will be so mad. She’s just going to go walking into ShinRa when she’s been hiding her whole life. But…Cloud, Zack. She remembers when she was a kid, the things they would do to her real Mom. And they respected her, were in ‘awe’ of her, an ancient, in their hands. She can’t imagine what they are doing to the boys.

No…she owes Cloud. She said she would protect him. He’s given her so much, this is his one last life, he deserves one free from as much pain as possible. She promised and so far, she’s not delivering on it.

“I’m in,” she stands, hoping she looks more confident then she feels.

“Tifa?” Jessie’s giving her a look. They stare each other down for a bit.

“Were you just going to go by yourself?”

“No, I was going to wake you up and make you come with. Good thing you guys were out here already, I heard all that by the way- Miss Ancient.”

Awesome, she really doesn’t know Jessie.

“Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone.” That wink isn’t really reassuring either. Tifa doesn’t seem very concerned so, she guesses it’s fine.

“Come on, Tifa. What’s the hesitation? If it were you, Cloud would be going in blind to get you.”

Maybe that’s what Tifa’s thinking. Not wanting to go in guns blazing. They don’t know anything about ShinRa headquarters. Aerith's familiar with the science department, sort of. And she's got blurry flashes of other escapes, but they are rushed memories, so details are not very obvious. This would be a lot easier if Zack or Cloud were not the ones needing rescue.

Weirdly, this is just making Aerith more amped to go.

“Tifa,” She says. Jessie is right, they have to go now.

“Alright, you’re right.” She stands, “let me get my gloves first?”

She should grab her staff too. Not off to a great start.

“Yes,” Jessie punches the air, “Let’s go get our SOLDIER boys.”

***

He feels it first, before the blinding, sudden brightness of endless white. Hears Cloud’s raspy breath, feels the pain of mako filling his lungs.

Seeing him…its worse. There’s something very wrong. He looks so off.

It’s extra echo-y in the endless white of his mind, Cloud’s? Both? Seems that way right now. He can’t get every feeling from Cloud, but his general presence fits in Zack’s body. Gets stronger the closer he gets to him.

That very wrong feeling, Zack almost wishes he hadn’t thought it. It's worse close up. New, he's never seen this. So close to Cloud now, he sees something, something alien on him. It’s a weird off flesh color, dripping black ooze, red inky spots all over it. Just a weird tangle of mutated flesh texture. It’s wrapped around Cloud, weighing him down. Hanging onto his torso mostly, but he can see weird branches of it arching up, attached to the back of his neck. It’s slowly moving…twisting over and over.

“Cloud.” Zack reaches out, Cloud’s head is down. Gently, he lifts him by the chin.

It’s horrifying, skin so pale, he can see so many veins. Some of them are black. There are things slithering along his jaw, cheeks. Under his skin, they move down his neck, disappears and reappears. His eyes aren’t focused, all blank, coma eyes.

_Puppet…._

The fuck. It’s that voice. The weird, alien raspy one, comes from Sephiroth, but not from his mouth. It’s whispering here, a constant wispy hum, coming from the thing around his torso. He’s heard it say reunion before but not…

_Puppet…._

It must be telling Cloud that.

“Cloud?” His lips look a little blue, breathing heavy.

He twitches, moves his head up a tiny bit.

“Je…”

“Cloud?”

“-nova.”

Oh god, JENOVA. Is that…what the fuck is it? He knows about the JENOVA cells, but no one has ever been clear on what JENOVA really is. Something from the ancients? Back in Nibelheim, when Hojo would be rambling in front of their mako tanks. And of course, Sephiroth. Just reminds him of Sephiroth.

“Cloud,” he reaches out, cups Cloud’s cheek, tries not to think how gross it is when those things slither under his hand, “can you hear me?”

He looks like he’s getting the life sucked out of him. JENOVA, why is it on him?

He reaches out, touches the thickest arm-thing, that’s sitting in the middle of Cloud’s chest. His fingers barely graze it and the screaming starts. He thinks it's Cloud at first, but no. Cloud’s still all coma eyes and barely responsive.

The screaming gets louder and when Zack tries to pull it off Cloud, it curls tight, starts drying out, and then dies. It just screams a horrible non-human voice, shrivels, and turns to dust. The slithering things under Cloud’s skin disappear too, the color in his skin comes back and his veins aren't black anymore.

Cloud takes a massive gasp of air, like his lungs were barely working. His eyes get some more light in them. His body convulses and he starts to fall.

Zack catches him, so close to him already. He pulls Cloud down to the floor with him, sets him over his thighs, resting on his chest. Zack tastes mint in his mouth.

“Zack?”

“Nope, It’s Biggs.”

It startles a laugh out of Cloud, weak as it is. Even gets him to rest his head back on his shoulder so he can look into Zack’s face.

“S-shut it.”

“So, what are we doing in here, huh?”

“This is my head; I dunno why you’re in it.”

Zack laughs, cups the back of Cloud’s head, scratches through his hair. It’s so white, bright everywhere.

“Zack…everything hurts.”

He knows, he can feel the dull ache that must be ten times stronger for Cloud.

Zack kisses him. Tastes like mako…

“-Minty-”

“-Minty-”

They both say. Zack laughs, dully and sad.

Sitting in the quiet for a long time is the only thing they can do. Zack’s got a constant ache of all the places of Cloud’s pain. Cloud doesn’t move, just lays against him, and struggles to breathe every few breaths. Feels like he’s fading from him.

“Cloud, come on, stay with me.”

Cloud just hums, tries to shift, but he’s got no energy. If only he still had materia on him, Zack can feel the mana in Cloud’s body. Could heal, something.

Wait. Cloud’s got _mana_ still from the plate fight.

“Cloud.”

“Mmph.”

“You’ve got mana? Right, you feel it?”

His eyes shift to look up back at him; they look duller, “yeah…”

Can he….can Zack take it from him? Is that possible?

“Can you give me some? I can get us out of here with it.”

“H-how?”

Control…..Zack feels sick. His cells…if he’s understanding all of Hojo’s rambles, his JENOVA cells are dominant over Cloud's? Like Sephiroth…he can…he doesn’t want too.

“You gotta let me in. Give me control.” He hopes he doesn’t sound as creepy as he feels. He has no idea if that’s even possible. This is a lot very fast and he’s just guessing.

Fuck, he hopes he doesn’t hurt Cloud doing this.

“Okay…” he’s all slow and sleepy. Zack notices his eyes go blank just as a zap of static cuts through his own head.

Fades into that warm crackling fire sound again. The pull is so strong, Zack lurches forward, eyes shut tight.

When he opens them again…everything is green. He can see himself across the room, looking pretty blank stare. He’s not Cloud exactly, he can feel Cloud’s mind, almost…almost feels like when he’s inside Cloud. Sharing their bodies, but more. This time, it’s really fucking sharing. There’s no awesome pleasure pressure either. Just feels small zaps of Cloud’s pain and Zack feels, creepy. Like he's invading Cloud. The mako is overwhelming. He tries not to look down at Cloud’s body; sees him twitching every so often. Gotta do this fast then.

It’s easier than he thought. Feeling the mana still in Cloud’s veins, he’s not really sure how it’s going to get into his own body, but…if he focuses a bit more, feels it pull inward, instead of toward Cloud’s hands. Feels it gather. That’s it, maybe? He doesn’t know, but a particularly hard twitch from Cloud’s shoulder makes him let go.

He can’t do this to him.

Just as strong as the pull, he’s pushed back, through another zap of static and then it’s just the two of them again in the white space.

It’s so weird…sharing a headspace. Cloud’s still in his arms, his eyes coming back from dark. He doesn’t look any more hurt. Zack presses his lips against his head, he never wants to do that again.

“G-get it?” Cloud’s still drunk on the mako. It’s only going to get worse the longer he’s in the tank.

He thinks he did, feels mana resting in his blood. Seems impossible. Freaky, it’s definitely freaky.

“Yeah Spikes, I’m getting us out of here, you just sit tight.”

“Mmm...in all the mako, my f-favorite place.”

Coming out of all the brightness is weird when he’s conscious. He still feels Cloud in his arms, but there he is across the room, floating in all that damn mako. It worked, he can feel the mana in his actual body, not just in his mind. He pulls all of it, gets a soft warm feeling that normally doesn’t happen with it. Cloud, must be because it was in Cloud’s body. Gets an adrenaline burst with it, his muscles tightening. Only takes one yank to pull free from the arm restraints. Zack’s heart starts pounding as he pulls his other arm out and leans down to undo his ankles. He has to hurry now if Hojo comes back in, anyone, there’s a chance they’ll hit the alarm system.

A small chance, Zack will probably kill them before that happens.

He is up and across the room fast. Cloud is still twitching in the tank and it doesn't have a release button that Zack can see. He’s too panicky to keep looking around, Cloud can’t possibly take any more mako. He should be dead ten times over. Zack just busts through the glass with his elbow. The shards explode, cracking all along the front, cutting into his skin. He feels some pieces lodge in, but he doesn’t care. Cracked glass cuts at his hand as he pulls open the door, the mako is spilling out, draining quickly before he can even get it open all the way. The door finally hisses and pushes to the side.

Cloud falls heavy against him. He’s cold. Shifts him around, steps away from the puddles of mako on the ground, before lowering Cloud. He’s all limp, Zack supports his head with one hand, very carefully with his other, pulls Cloud’s lid up with his thumb. His eyes are blank. Coma. Shit. He’d hoped Cloud wasn’t in there long enough. Zack doesn’t know though, how long they’ve been here. With all the knock out serums, could be days…fuck, even Nibelheim had only felt like hours and that turned out to be _years._

Okay, he’s done this before. No problem. Got to get them somewhere safe. He needs his buster sword and his armor. And a shirt, he’s _just_ realized his shirt is gone too.

Hissing of the lab door opening sends his heart into overdrive. He curls Cloud against him with one arm, twists to get ready to punch out whoever is-

“Tifa?” What the shit, she really is just springing up all over and saving the day. He’s going to kiss her, he _will_. Maybe get Cloud all jealous with his little crush on her.

“Well, that was impossibly easy,” Tifa says, “guys! In here, I found them.”

***

Jessie is still not all in on the up and up yet. One minute she’s throwing grenades at ShinRa Turks, the next Cloud’s keeping her from dying and then she wakes up at some random girl’s house. Who apparently is besties with Tifa in all her past timeline lives. Oh and she’s the last of an ancient race that can speak to the planet. It’s a head spin _for_ _sure_. She never thought joining a rebel cause to stick it to ShinRa would really take such a weird turn. Honestly, she thought she’d end up dead sooner than later.

Instead, she’s just got a massive amount of guilt and favors to pay back.

First starting with getting Cloud and Zack outta that nightmare of a place. Zack’s never told them what happened to them, not really, at least not her. Maybe Tifa…but. Nibelheim, wasn’t that Tifa’s home town? She might just know then. It’s not hard to start coming up with wild theories, with Cloud being all mako poisoned. Avalanche always knew ShinRa had a darker side, especially with all those rumors of secret labs being under the slums. The evidence is everywhere. If that wasn’t enough, the plate…unforgivable. She still feels terrible, it was her bombs. She started the fight. But…

All those people, how is that an equal hit back? She supposes being reasonable is not in ShinRa’s ability. They knew it would be a tough fight. It’s why the other branches split from them. They were right; too extreme can just blow out all the chaos. Start a path they can’t get off of.

They get to the massive ruins of the plate quickly, within the hour; it’s all over the place. The path to slum 7 is completely buried too, right up to the edge of Wall Market. It looks like a tough way up, even with the grappling guns. She eyes Aerith in her summer dress.

“You guys good with this?”

“Isn’t there a faster way up?” Tifa asks. It does look rather shaky and it’s dark out.

Waiting till the morning would be better, but Jessie can’t wait, she knows, she can feel it. ShinRa is doing something terrible to Cloud and Zack. She’s got to get them out. He _saved_ her; it’s burned in her mind. One minute feeling sure it’s the end, then that helicopter came out of nowhere. Cloud just jumping in front of her, bullets bouncing off his sword. And then he gave her that sweet little fist bump…made her feel safe, better. Biggs was right, he’s a keeper.

She plans on keeping.

“Seems like the only way,” Aerith says, takes the grappling gun Jessie holds out with fortitude.

She doesn’t look it, but Ancient girl’s got a tough streak, Jessie can see it. She’s just as mad as she is.

“Tifa,” she’s holding out the last grapple gun to her. She takes it with a nod. Up they go.

It’s not that bad at the start, sturdy, all the massive parts of the plate lodged good and stuck. The higher they go, the shakier it gets. The wind, it’s stronger than ever, it’s colder too. Exposed, they are exposed to the sky. She’s seen the real sky her whole life, living up top. It had been weird when she moved to the slums, seeing just steel and more steel. Now, it’s like she’s never seen the real sky. All the stars, they’re so bright and clear. There are no buildings cutting into the skyline, just navy blue for as long as she can see. She notices Aerith and Tifa getting lost in it too.

There are only a few spots that get a little scary, but they are racing against the clock here, so they power through it. Jessie would prefer to sneak into ShinRa under the cover of darkness. It’s already been a good hour they climb. The silence between them is comforting to her. All of them focused on just moving, getting to the top as fast as they can. She’s pleased Aerith is keeping up too. Just shows her she shouldn’t underestimate. After a slightly too close of a call and one last long pull up with the grappling guns, it's finished. Finally, reaching the top is a big sigh of relief.

“Let’s never do that again,” Aerith says, sitting on her knees for a breather.

Jessie smiles big, “it’ll be a fun ride back down at least.”

The hardest part is next. ShinRa headquarters is just a straight shot from any sector, dead center in the middle of the plate. It’s the sneaking in. At least they make it before the sun starts to rise. Barely, far off in the distance, the sky turns a lighter navy blue.

One thing on their side, there’s no extra patrols. ShinRa is smug enough to think they’ve stamped them out. Getting in will be easier. They decide on the parking garages, where most of their supply trucks end up. It’s in the far back, guards sure, but not any SOLDIERS, and lots of places to hide on large trucks.

“Okay,” Jessie frowns at Tifa and Aerith. They stick out, including herself, “we’re going to have to be very careful.”

Tifa huffs, “yeah, we don’t exactly fit in.”

“So, what are we going to do when we get inside then?” Aerith is looking more nervous by the minute.

“Something up?” She asks her. Jessie thinks she knows. ShinRa is always after anything…different, an edge. There’s no bigger edge than having the powers of an ancient, if they are true.

“There are people that are…familiar with me,” Aerith admits. Jessie’s betting it’s those pesky Turks.

Tifa sighs, “So we have to be double, extra careful.”

“Right.”

“Right.”

Nothing like an awkward silence to get her jitters going.

“Alright, lets mosey.” Ugh, Zack is rubbing off on her.

Jessie dashes out from their hiding place behind the concrete entrance, sometimes it’s just better to wing it. One of those massive supply trucks has halted, the drivers waiting for directions to park. She jumps right into the open back, vaulting over the hatchback. Aerith pops in after her and Tifa follows up, just seconds before they see a trooper walk by. The truck is full of crates, large ones, piled high. If they hide way in the back of the trailer, they won’t have to worry about being seen. Trucks this big, guards won’t climb in and check every little corner. It’s tight; they have to inch slowly all the way in. No way any of the guys would be able to do this, Barret’s way too massive, Wedge is too tall. Maybe Biggs could squeeze in. Good thing it’s just them girls. Tifa does complain about her chest being too big to squeeze past the last few crates, wonder what that’s like.

Jessie giggles as the truck lurches forward gears and starts moving. Little Cloud could fit, without his sword, she can imagine his blonde mess of hair peeking up from one of the crates. It’s a short ride, they’ve got no idea where they parked. Waiting till the truck has been marked and for the troopers to wonder off takes longer then she’d like. When they climb out all three of them just stare at each other again in another awkward silence. Maybe a little surprised it worked.

“Now what,” Tifa says.

“If we can get to the science department…” Aerith trails off, looks sad for a moment, “I know my way around there, at least a bit.”

“Okay, that’s a plan,” Jessie keeps peeking around the truck to see if anyone is coming, “where’s the science department?”

“…on the 66th floor?”

“Holy geez-66th?” Guess they are climbing again.

“Would it be too much to think it’s safe to take an elevator?”

Yeah sure, cause they look like they work at ShinRa.

“There a staircase going up that high? Otherwise,” Jessie clicks her grappling gun. Scaling all those windows isn’t much better than an elevator. Everyone will seem them zoom up.

Getting into the building needs to happen for any of this plan to work out. First, they dip around a bunch of troopers organizing and moving supplies from trucks. It’s not too bad. It’s dark in the garage and so many vehicles make it easy to crouch around behind. The only entrance close to them is right out into the main lobby. Great.

Jessie’s eyeing the cameras high up on those ceilings. It's dark colors and marble and glass and everything is so shiny, reflective sparkling white lights.

“Woah,” Tifa says, she’s staring at the massive chandelier, “it’s beautiful in here.”

Jessie clicks her tongue, that’s how ShinRa gets ya. “Just a show.”

Lucky them, it’s still the very early hours in the morning. Not too many employees are here yet and maybe, just maybe, not too much security either. No one comes out and starts shouting alarms at them. That’s good.

“Chance that map?” Aerith points around the shielded front desk. Why does a front desk need a shield? Man, Jessie really hates ShinRa. Everything they do, even simple design, just screams secrets.

Looks like they can get up to the science department from the stairwell alright. But they have to get to the 30th floor first, There is a gap in the stairs between the main floor and there. The elevator is the only option for that. No one is around still, but they all keep their heads down in the elevator, shielding Aerith behind them as best as possible. That camera burns on them the whole time; Jessie can’t calm her heart down. She just knows it, when the doors open; it’s going to be shootin’ time.

Ding.

Huh, no one. There is no one to greet them. Something is off.

“Are you kidding me?” Tifa says as they step out, “this is…way too easy.”

“Now you’ve jinxed us.” Jessie laughs. She’ll take easy. She needs easy for once. Besides, she’s bettin’ on the hard part next. No way are they getting out of here with captured SOLDIERS, they’re ShinRa _property._

The stairwell is just on the other side of the room, behind the escalators. It’s a nice little stroll, but Aerith makes a little squeak halfway and just dashes around the other side, hiding behind the ‘up’ escalator. Tifa follows just as fast, so of course, Jessie does too. She's not going to hang out in the open, looking stupid. She catches why out of the corner of her eye. Turks, looks like, by the fitted black suits. Two of them, red-head and a bald guy. Mmm, a foxy redhead, he’s showing _way_ too much chest. Kinda sluty, she likes it. Jessie quiets her laugh into her hand.

“You know them?” Tifa whispers, she sounds angry, like she knows them too.

Aerith nods, “they’re okay, just kind of nosy.” She says.

“Those are the Turks that dropped the plate,” Tifa hisses.

Aerith looks sad at that. Doesn’t say anything.

Never mind about that red-head then. Not so hot anymore.

Probably still a slut though.

Jessie huffs, “alright, let’s move they’ve gone down a few levels.”

The walk up the stairs is horrible. Should have just decided on grappling up the building outside. Tifa is way ahead of her and Aerith, makes Jessie wishes she had more training time with Zack and Cloud before all this went to shit. Maybe when they get out of here, she’ll bug him about it.

“Just, gotta-keep -going.” Aerith’s talking to herself behind her, breathing heavy.

Jessie laughs, not meanly, she’s in the same boat, “Think we can talk Tifa into a piggy-back ride?”

“No way!” Tifa sing-songs down at them. _What the_ , she’s like three levels above them.

They finally catch up to her, Jessie's gasping like she’s never known what air is. Can they nap? She needs a nap. Her leg is killing her. Aerith did a good job healing her up the rest of the way, but there’s still a little strain.

“Let’s also _never_ do that again,” She echoes Aerith’s words.

They all laugh breathlessly before slipping out the door onto the 66th floor. Only for a second though, Aerith squeaks again and dashes back into the stairwell. More Turks then, Jessie and Tifa keep the door open a crack to peek out. Two of them, Tifa’s whole body gets tense next to her. Guess that means one of them at least was at the plate too. Probably the dark-haired one, the redheaded girl looks too sweet to just murder thousands of people.

“How many Turks do you know, missy?’ Jessie asks.

“Not the girl, I’ve never seen her.”

“Looks like they are heading to the medical labs on the left side. We want the right? Says science entry.”

“You think they are in there?” Tifa asks.

Aerith seems to get even sadder, holding back something. Guess it must be hard deciding how much of the future she needs to reveal.

“Yeah, I know they are. Hojo will have them.”

“Who the hell is Hojo?”

Tifa’s fists are shaking by her side, “he’s the science head, isn’t he? The one at Nibelheim.”

The one who put Cloud in a mako coma then. Jessie’s whole stomach drops, yeah. They need to hurry. She cracks open the door a bit more, doesn’t see any more Turks. Or anyone, actually. Now is their chance then. Still keeping low, they rush along the wall and slip inside the door to the science entry. They get into the first section fine, a bunch of small labs, but down the hallway, the massive scary dark door needs a key-card. She can see it from here. Damn, they’ve been pretty lucky so far without needing employee access, her Dad's key card is burning in her back pocket. Probably won't do much good here at headquarters. She brought it just in case. Still, they should find one that has actual clearance.

“Check these small labs; maybe some dumb science nut forgot their key card.”

There’s maybe a dozen labs, 200-212 labeled at the beginning of the hallway. Each one Jessie pokes her head in gets creepier looking. This isn’t even the main science labs, she’s not sure she wants to see what’s behind that door. Aerith’s in the room next to her, and Tifa’s just been poking her head in the rooms on the other side of the hall. Jessie hears Aerith call her just as she finds a key card, on the edge of one of the desks. _Bingo_. She grabs it, who knows if it’ll work on the big scary door. Restrictions are abundant in ShinRa. Better than her Dad's however.

She jogs into the room next to her, Aerith’s called her a second time, a little more rushed sounding.

“Hey, I found a-” Her victory smile falls.

There is…blood in this room, on that freaky looking wall restraint thing. And on one of the beds. Aerith’s in the corner on her left, she is touching Zack’s buster sword, it’s leaning against the wall. Along with Cloud's weapon and looks like their clothes and everything on the floor in a pile.

Aerith looks alarmed, “they were in here.”

Awesome, guess that blood is theirs too. She gets even more mad. Jessie looks around, there is a datapad, small enough to slip into the large cargo pocket of her pants, maybe that has their location on it. She snags it, turns it down, it beeps three times in the seconds she’s touching it. They'll finish looking in the rooms and then look to see if it has anything on them. If not, maybe it'll have info on ShinRa Avalanche can use. It'll take too long to go hacking into all these computers.

“We should take their stuff with us.” She says.

Aerith laughs darkly, “You can pick up Zack’s buster?”

Eh, probably not.

“Guys!” Tifa’s just shouting down the hallway. That’s a good way to get caught, “In here, I found them!”

Jessie shares a twin shocked expression with Aerith and they dash out the door.

Sure enough, in the creepiest lab yet, just over Tifa’s shoulder, mostly naked and shivering on the floor.

Zack and Cloud.

They look terrible.

But they found them.

***

“I can’t believe you found him, Cissnei. I wouldn’t have spotted him from the cameras.”

Cissnei smiles, her heart flutters. She honestly can’t believe it either. She hadn't been on the flight deck when the choppers got back, so she hasn't seen Zack yet.

“Trust me, I was pretty shocked too. Good thing I’m always checking in on Reno.” She says, they walk up another level of escalators.

Tseng smirks at her. Everyone knows Reno’s always going to need a babysitter. She can’t believe Rude even agreed to be his partner way back. They used to hate each other. A lot. Now Rude gets all flustered and nervous when Reno's not hanging off his shoulder.

“Did you have to tranq them though? That’s a little harsh. I didn’t radio you to let you know, so you could just shoot them.”

She actually gets a rare laugh from Tseng.

“It was getting tense, running out of time, Zack’s been through enough. Figured we could just stick them in medical till he woke up.”

“I still can’t believe it. I thought for sure, he was dead. Even though we couldn’t find his body.” She was so sure, looking in the desert out there, it's almost impossible to find people.

“Just all the troopers he took out.”

"And that helicopter. Good thing none of our guys were in it, just borrowed."

The nurse on the main medical floor had told them they’d transferred Zack and…what was that kid's name, Strife? To the med labs up here for a more private recovery. Cissnei thought that was a little weird. So close to Hojo’s floor. Good thing the professor has been deep in his labs for the whole week. No one’s seen him come out for days.

“We’ll have to move them before Hojo finds out,” Tseng says, holding the door open for her.

“How are we going to keep them a secret after?”

“We’ll think of something. Maybe keep them in internal affairs for a while. Until we find out how to help them.”

Cissnei isn't sure they need help. They looked pretty ready to roll out on the plate.

“Right,” they do have their own medical staff if Zack and Strife need it. Reno uses it often enough. She tries not to laugh, that Strife kid had kicked Reno's ass good. He's still limping around, even after two HEALING sessions and almost two days later. Tseng gives her a look like he knows what she's thinking. It's still funny, Reno's a little shit sometimes. He needs a good ass-kicking. 

They check in with the nurse upfront. She’s polite but hides her eyes from them. Odd. She’s also taking a while to get back to them. It shouldn’t be a long wait, Zack and Strife are just drugged, not in any serious medical condition. Visitors, especially them, should be no problem.

She glances at the visitors' log. Shit.

“Tseng, look,” the last visitor-

“Hojo’s head surgeon?”

Not good, how'd he find out? They both take the hallway at a fast walk. Last room in the back right. No one is there. It’s empty.

Hojo’s moved them.

“Tseng.”

“Damn, how did he find out?”

“You didn’t alert him did you?” She just has to ask…it wouldn’t be the first time. Hojo is the one that ordered them found after all and Tseng...changes his mind often.

“No, Cissnei. I know I do questionable things, but, I'm certain I didn't tip him off.”

Hojo's crafty, maybe Tseng did without realizing. It wouldn't be the first time. This is why she hates the science nerds, all of them are a little too smart and a little too sneaky.

This also just got harder then it needed to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :D Listen, you guys, I held back okay. I don't know what it is about Cloud, but ya just want him to suffer a bit so Zack can comfort him later. Hopefully all the going back and forth between their heads wasn't too confusing. 
> 
> Also, girl trio power! Lol, I just love them together. 
> 
> From here on it's pretty much pick and choose canon in my little fic world. Similarities will start corresponding more to the original and less then the remake, but even then. Remember-loosely canon. Things be getting weirder and weirder up in here. :) 
> 
> You guys were very entertaining last chapter, glad I could give you guys a heart rush! lol Let me know how much of the suffering you guys hated.(but loved, don't hate meee) lol I promise, nothing worse than this really. 
> 
> As always, thank you for reading, leave a comment, hang around, See ya next time!
> 
> PS: This has nothing to do with FFVII, but OMG, Lady Gaga's Chromatica you guys, anyone love it? It's amazing. Weird to write suffering too though. Haha


	11. I'd Rather Be Dry, But At Least I'm Alive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ShinRa's a scary, scary place. 
> 
> *WARNING*  
> Triggers in this chapter: ALIEN GORE, ALIEN HORROR, TOO MANY CHARACTERS IN ONE SCENE (lol) CLOUD SUFFERING

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy hell you guys, sorry it's been like five days! My work has been approved to reopening, -___- so I haven't had much of a chance to write. But, I have a few days off in a row now, so hopefully I can get a few more chapters up before my next work week starts. Thanks for sticking with me! Don't worry, I haven't abandoned my boys-they are too sweet to not write about. 
> 
> I'm glad you guys liked the last chapter, I felt kinda bad leaving you with all the suffering for so long! Sooo, have some more suffering, as a reward! lol Sorry, but maybe more sorry to poor little Cloud. 
> 
> Happy reading!

Tifa's leaning over them, eyes on Cloud, and worry worked into her frown. The glow from the leftover mako backlights her body and makes it hard to focus on her.

“Holy shit,” Jessie, peeking around Tifa with wide eyes. Zack’s surprised to see her, she looks so much better, no blood on her side, or ashy sheen in her face. They must have been here a while then, she had looked so bad at the pillar, “aren’t you guys a sight for sore eyes.”

She is already kneeling in front of him, frowning down at Cloud. Zack knows she’s not a threat, she’s trying to help, but the fight or flight in him is still pumping fast in his blood. When she reaches for Cloud he pulls him in tight, the sheer panic and need to keep him safe overriding all other thoughts in him, shaking him apart even.

“Zack,” she speaks so quietly, “I just want to look, we need to heal him.”

He knows. Cloud’s hurt, he’s hurt _again_. It's his responsibility, he's supposed to keep him safe. Jessie's reaching out to him, slowly. He's not skittish, he's mad, but she treats him like a wounded animal anyway. Her slender hand brings some of his focus back, just the familiar touch of a friend, grounding. And then he feels strange. He is just noticing now. Clearer thinking past his panicky 'get to Cloud' mantra in his head. He's getting drowsy, slow to respond. Is he crashing from all the rage? No, he’s still angry, just…is it Cloud? He’s feeling Cloud, how can he be drowsy in a coma?

This connection thing, with the JENOVA cells, there has to be a better way to make the lines clear, without having to body-steal Cloud.

“Hey,” Jessie’s snapping her fingers in his face, “you okay in there SOLDIER?”

“Zack, what’s with your arm?” Aerith, Zack smiles at her. She’s here too? It's been so long since he saw her. The church last, but...this isn't the church. He’s not sure where he is anymore.

“Got glass in it.” He says, tongue heavy. Getting hard to focus, feels like something is zapping his energy. Got glass in his arm, what? Glass from where, he doesn’t really remember.

“Zack, holy-,” Jessie’s grabbing Cloud, pulling him away from him. No, give him back.

He’s _hurt._ He can't help him if he's not with him. Zack's got to keep Cloud with him, he's vulnerable, comatose. A rush fills his ears and the drowsiness disappears, all at once. His mind clearing. Aerith’s bright green eyes are peering down at him, she looks worried.

“Aerith.”

“What’s with your chest, your arm?” She's poking at him.

He looks down. Little green veins are fading from his skin, they look glowy, like mako, doesn’t hurt though. No mint in his mouth. The injection sites on his arm, they heal over faster than his normal advanced healing. The green veins pulling into the wound and fade back to his skin. He feels much clearer, focus regained.

“Z-Zack.” Jessie jerks in surprise as Cloud takes a stuttering breath against her shoulder. Zack can’t believe it, Cloud’s pulling away from her, shaky and slow, but he’s moving. Awake.

No way, his eyes, they were his _coma_ eyes.

“Aerith look, Cloud too.”

All across his back, his right arm, where he was lying against Zack. The same green veins pulling to his wounds and healing over. Cloud’s a fast healer, but not like Zack. His wounds just don’t close up that fast, even Zack's doesn't. He can still hear Cloud’s heartbeat in his ears, just a breath behind his own. Faint, almost doesn’t notice it, but he knows what the static is. The soft warm one. Now, it's all he does notice.

Cloud is still pretty out of it, he sways just sitting up from Jessie, nearly falls back over. Zack’s got him before that happens, pulling him back against him.

“Easy,”

Cloud sinks back to him, body going lax. The green veins show up again, the second their skin touches. Zack feels it this time, the way the veins spread all along his skin. A hot spot where their skin is touching. Pulls slightly, felt like when he pulled the mana from Cloud. It’s pulling _away_ from him this time, into Cloud’s body, and it's not mana.

“Oh shit,” Zack’s healing, Cloud’s using his advanced healing. He’s sure, watches as more and more green veins appear on him too, where Cloud’s touching him the most. It glitters all pretty and soft, flowing all over Cloud’s skin. He gets that cooling sensation when his healing is really on overdrive. It brings on some more mind fog, must be pulling his ability too quickly.

Not all of Cloud’s injuries disappear; most of the veins are traveling up the back of his neck, forming a thick band of luminosity. Going into his head? The coma?

“What is happening?” Jessie looks pretty freaked. Zack kind of agrees. Must be the JENOVA cells? No…this is, he can taste more mint in his mouth the longer it happens. The mako? How is Cloud using his bodies’ abilities? The mind fog is getting really thick.

Cloud moans against him, quietly, as always, shifts and his trembling stops. The moment his eyes open again, the veins stop glittering, fade slowly away on both of them. Takes all the fogginess and cooling sensation with it.

“W-why’s ‘ssie here?” He’s got slurred speech and unfocused vision, but he’s definitely not in a mako coma. Zack will take it.

Jessie’s gone all soft honey eyes on him, “Rescuing you two chumps, duh,”

He blinks at her a few more times before his eyes lose some of their wetness, gets some of his hard-edge back in his expression. Jessie’s already poking at them again, humming in sympathy.

“Geez, even after all that weirdness, you guys still look pretty bad.” She’s rolling Cloud’s arm outward. She’s right, still so many track marks and the restraint bruises are deep purple and blue. Zack's own throb in unison as he looks at them too long.

“Here,” Aerith’s voice is so soft in the dark lab, Zack forgot she was there. She's kneeling down next to Jessie, very carefully handling Cloud's arm. Zack stares at her hair, it's dragging on the floor, too close to the mako puddles.

Wait, didn’t he see Tifa first? She pops back in the doorway as he straightens up his back to look around. She’s got his Buster over her shoulders. Impressive. Not many people without SOLDIER strength can pick it up.

“Oh good, you’re healing them, they look better already.”

“Tifa?” Cloud’s body twitches forward, still swaying a little.

“Hold on Cloud,” Aerith’s still casting some of her HEALING, soft green light disappearing into their skin. Zack feels the skin around the glass in his arm get a bit tighter, pulling in the shards.

“Wait, hold on. Gotta get this glass out first.” Yeah, they are really lodged in good now.

Cloud twists hard to look at him, still sways too much, “Glass?” he’s shoving at Zack’s shoulder so he can look at the back of his arm, “where?”

Zack can’t help it; he’s just got to touch Cloud all the time. How can he not, when he's looking so vulnerable and concerned for him. Brushes his fingertips across his lips. Cloud gives him a tired little smile, reaches out to rest his hand against Zack’s chest- Pain, _whoa_ , okay, that’s a lot of pain. Cloud’s focused on his arm, yanking out the glass from under his skin. The little shit, distracted him on purpose with all his…pretty everything. At least he’s rubbing his thumb in comforting circles on his chest. The last piece is in deep, hurts the most to dig out. Aerith’s HEALING falls around him the second Cloud’s got it out. He feels slightly betrayed; Cloud’s giving him sad sorry eyes, leaning in and pressing against him, lips soft on his.

“Do it fast, better?” he’s still talking so quietly. His voice sounds extra raspy. From all the screaming.

The rage comes rushing back to Zack. Grabs the side of Cloud’s head probably a little too hard, pulls him against him. He’s been touching him this whole time, but the rage, just makes him need to be closer.

“I’m gonna kill him, Cloud. Fuck, I’m sorry.”

He hasn’t kissed him in so long, outside their collective heads anyway. So he does, wants to roughly, desperate to, but Cloud’s still wincing with every slight move he makes and he’s looking at him with so much vulnerability. Soft and deep then, for too long. He hears Jessie say, “opp!” and Aerith’s cute giggle she makes at baby animals.

“Okay,” Tifa, “this is sweet and all, but did everyone forget we’re at ShinRa Headquarters?”

No, Zack hasn’t forgotten.

“Come on,” Tifa’s dropping their clothes in front of them, “I know you guys are hurting, but we have to get out of here before someone realizes we’re stealing you.”

“Stealing us?” Zack laughs, he supposes ShinRa has always treated him like property, realizes it stronger every day.

They dress quickly; Zack has to hold onto Cloud half the time, he stumbles easy. The more he moves too, the paler he gets. Zack’s just waiting for mako nausea. He’s hazy and unsteady on his feet, but he’s awake and able to move at least. Zack’s unsure about his sword weighing on his back, but the two times Zack’s tried to take it; Cloud’s glare came with a very strong push of annoyance in Zack’s head.

“How did you guys get up here so easy,” Zack tires to ignore the lingering feeling of Cloud’s annoyance, “mostly just SOLDIERS have clearance this high up, some of the Turks.”

Jessie smirks, shrugging her ponytail off her shoulder, “luck?”

Zack frowns. More than luck is needed against ShinRa, there’s no way. Cameras are everywhere, something is off, or they had help without realizing. There's not much time to dwell on it. Waiting much longer in the labs is just asking for someone to stumble upon them. The hallway is very bright compared to the labs, Zack and Cloud both blinking their eyes to adjust. He barely is seeing past the little red spots when Jessie is shoving at him, fast little pats against his back.

“Shit, other way, other way, go the _other_ way,” Jessie says in a rush.

“The other way is into the scary dark doors,” Tifa objects.

He spots Jessie’s panic, sees Aerith bristle too. Down the hall, coming from the medical labs across the way is Tseng and-Zack’s eyes widen a bit- Cissnei.

His first instinct is to give in to his ever-present rage, just lay it out on Tseng. That fucker shot him with a _tranq_. But, Cloud’s still slow to react and Jessie is right, going after Turks in the main lobby is just asking for trouble. He’ll save all his rage for Hojo, it’s all him really. Maybe some of his lab rats, the ones that held Cloud down for sure.

Jessie is whipping out a key card, it’s got the right barcodes and color codes on it, swipes it through the door security check and they all basically fall over each other through the door. It's a little painful having Cloud collide into him, shoving him against Jessie. It's also hard not to laugh at his sudden surprise of getting an armful of Tifa and Aerith at the same time. Zack rights him before he drops the girls and he catches Cissnei looking up from the floor just as the door slides closed on them. He’s pretty sure her eyes had widened in recognition. Good thing not even Tseng has access to Hojo’s labs unless he’s got a pass for the day. They should get a move on in case he does.

“Woah…” Jessie and Tifa say together.

Hojo’s main lab. It’s…a nightmare. All dark and mako tanks all over the place. Zack can smell it, faintest scent of mint and weirdly clean chemical. He feels Cloud stumble into him again and not in the cute tripping way because Jessie shoved everyone. Hears him breathing hard. If Zack focuses, a small crackling of fire and static, and he can feel Cloud trying to calm down his rising anxiety. Zack’s heart lurches, reaches out to keep Cloud against him. They’ve got no time for comforting, but Zack is so drawn to Cloud’s needs. He’s tired of Cloud getting the worst of…everything seems like.

His brief touch seems to help…doesn’t feel as panicked. It’s nice, knowing he’s helping Cloud. Sometimes Zack as no idea if he is, he’s so closed off half the time.

He can work on that with him after they got out. Which is much harder now. Zack’s been here before, granted it’s been five years. Hojo likes to expand often. It’s also been a while, but all SOLDIER’s get their mako injections at the start of the program here. Deeper in, he’s never been. But he’d watched a younger, sane Sephiroth disappear there enough to know. It’s all the freaky stuff deeper in. It’s also the only other way out. Hojo’s lab is just under the roof and ShinRa’s presidential floor. There are emergency exits on the other side of the lab. Besides that, the door they just came through.

At least he’s under his own power and not stuck on a medical bed in here. Cloud presses a bit closer to him.

“Okay, we need to get out of here, fast.” Jessie’s already jogging down the stairs that descend into the darker room.

“Try the elevator on the left?” Aerith seems unsure as if she can’t remember correctly. She’s been here?

“Seems to go deeper into the labs,” Tifa says, but they are already heading to it.

Only way to get out is to go deeper. Or…up. All the elevators go up.

It gets colder, probably to cool all the tec that constantly runs. So cold Zack can see his breath, all five of them huddle closer. It’s a short ride up, but the floor is a maze, just turn after turn of different labs. The farther they go, the more mako tanks show up and the more they are full of weird half creatures, random bundles of flesh. All of it gets more grotesque than the next. Tifa's keeping her eyes from lingering too much, but Jessie keeps making faces at every tank. Aerith's eyes are uncharacteristically cold, looking down the hallways and staircases with an odd sort of anger. Zack feels a surge of warmth for the three girls who are currently all hovering around Cloud, making sure to bump him every now and then, bring him back from the haze he keeps slipping into. Zack can see it in his body, his right knee is bad again, and his left arm gets a hard twitch. He's not doing good.

“Yu-ck, What are all these nasty things?” Jessie’s tapping the outside of a tank with a particularly nasty looking bundle of flesh and pulsing veins.

Looks like the thing that was attached to Cloud in their headspace. Zack swallows thickly. Not just in their heads then? It’s just a bundle of slimy arm-tentacles. Zack can still hear the whispers in his head.

“Ah,” Cloud’s stumbling forward, his shoulder jerks, toward the tank. JENOVA…

Hojo had mentioned, Cloud’s sensitive to JENOVA cell manipulation, whatever that means. He reaches out and grab’s Cloud’s arm, grounding him. He’s got his gloves on again, so it’s not as intense, but the moment he touches Cloud he feels a rush of alarm and it's not his own. Why is their connection so strong all of a sudden? Things Hojo injected in them? He’s still only getting half the picture. Cloud 's response is slow, giving Zack a sense of dread. The deeper they go, the more likely JENOVA will pop up more and more. Hojo’s obsessed with it. Zack's worried what it will do to Cloud.

“Come on,” Aerith says, “I remember, this way.”

“You…remember?” Cloud’s slow to ask, but it breaks whatever hold the JENOVA thing was trying to gain on him, more than Zack's touch even.

She looks very guilty, doesn’t meet either one of his or Cloud’s eyes, as if they were mad at her. She does glance at Tifa though.

“Come on, we can all have a big campfire secret-spilling circle after we get out.”

Right, okay. Jessie knows the thing too. Just the two of them in the dark. It’s a cycle Zack is real tired of. Aerith looking like he’d just yelled at her doesn’t feel too good either. Zack’s tired, he can feel Cloud’s own exhaustion every time he steps close to him. Secret telling for later is just fine.

It’s yet another dark hallway and a few more small labs before they come out to a large open room, massive mako tanks lining the walls, and a few smaller clear tanks.

“Oh,” Aerith says with a small body jerk, seems to remember something important she had forgotten. Makes a quick turn to her left, “there you are.”

Zack frowns, shares a confused look with Cloud. Not Tifa and Jessie however, who are just rushing after Aerith like it’s the most normal thing for her to just know things about Hojo’s lab. Where she’s, apparently, spent enough time in to be familiar with it.

He doesn’t remember getting this odd-man-out feeling around Aerith before he disappeared on her. It’s been every time since then.

“Ah, what’s this, got out of your restraints did you?” a crackling of a loudspeaker echos in the room.

He and Cloud both jump, Hojo’s voice loud and sneering at them over the intercom. It must be the waves of rage that are making his body shake. The push and pull of adrenaline. It’s pretty hard to keep the anger down when just a glance or tiny word from Hojo flashes images of Cloud shaking and in pain through his mind. He'll hear Cloud screaming in his head for weeks after this.

Murder him; he’s going to murder Hojo so slowly.

“Get them back, alive please,” Hojo says into the room again. Then a hissing of opening tanks, and a rush of steam.

Great, he didn’t even see where the girls ran off too. He draws his buster, hears Cloud’s own coming out for a fight. Zack tries to be sneaky about it, backs them up so Cloud is more between a wall and himself. Not much time to worry if Cloud’s going to break out his speedster moves, Zack doubts it, he can hear his heavy breathing from just holding his sword. He’s expecting ShinRa troopers but…it’s something else. Dripping and oozing, Zack can’t tell where it's head is until a crack of razor teeth rips sideways, a horrible screech echoing in the room. Zack backs Cloud up against the wall some more.

Gets a very loud huff of annoyance for it.

The steam isn’t clearing very well, so Zack has to take guesses where the weird fiend keeps moving, he lands hits, but only just, not enough to take it out. Then there’s two-no, _three_ more. He resists the urge to rush out and charge, he doesn’t care how irritated Cloud gets at him, he’s not letting him have a blind spot. Against the wall, they are staying. Cloud still gets a few good hits in, manages to slash one of the creepy slimy ones through the stomach. Pulls at the small amount of his mana for a lightning charge. Zack feels the static on his back.

He also feels the moment it zaps all of Cloud’s energy. Gets a nice shock in to finish off one of the fiends. The steady pleasant warmth of Cloud’s mind that Zack gets waves of, crashes, and pulls away from him. It gets even colder in the labs.

Cloud sucks in too much air at his side, stumbles and Zack sees his right knee, the one that always blew out before, buckle. He’s got him though, he’s always got him. Wraps his free arm around Cloud’s waist and pulls him against him.

“Easy,”

“I can-fight.” Cloud’s gritting his teeth at him. Zack feels the echo of his throbbing knee in his own. This connection thing so far has just been making Zack feel worse. Like he’s failing Cloud over and over.

Cloud’s whole body just gives, taking Zack down with him. He barely gets them down softly and out of the way from a rather sharp claw swipe. Cloud’s leaning against him, clutching his head and making those _noises_. His pained ones that he refuses to give in too. Zack’s got hardly any mobility like this, they need help.

“Hey, a little _help_ , ladies!”

They get the help, but he doesn’t think it’s from any of their girly companions. He sees a rush of rusted blur and a whip of fire? Looks like fire on a tail? What?

“Sh-it, sorry, we thought you were behind us!” Jessie’s coming through the steam that’s finally clearing up. Pistol up and standing over one of the fiends.

Yeah, they were, just _real_ behind them. Come rescue friends, but leave them behind in the escape process. Zack has to laugh at least. All three of them are looking down at them with sheepish smiles.

And there’s a … red something kinda dog sitting next to them. What. Its tail is on fire. Zack would probably be more weirded out, but he’s having a weird day. And Cloud is panting pretty heavily still.

Aerith taps its head, (he? Looks like a he?) “Sorry, couldn’t leave a friend behind,”

“Friends huh?” it says…he says. The dog thing is…talking.

Cloud groans and Zack doesn’t really care anymore that a weird talking red wolf-dog just saved their asses.

“Well…thanks-uh.”

“His names Na-”

“-Red is fine.” And he flicks his fire tail at Aerith, just a tiny bit. She seems amused by it.

“Come on, let’s go.” Tifa keeps saying that and yet, here they are, still in this nightmare laboratory.

He drags Cloud up, ignores the grunts of pain as much as possible. He trips less over his feet as Zack all but drags him along after their growing group.

***

Cloud’s pissed and maybe a tiny bit embarrassed. One dip in a mako tank and he’s all stumbling and can’t hold himself up for longer than twenty minutes. With all the mako he’s already got in his body, can’t he just be used to it. Can’t he stop being a burden on Zack?

Using up the rest of his mana really drained the little energy he had and his body just explodes with pain. He can still stand, he can fight. It was just a bit of torture, he’s _fine._

“I can-fight.” Okay, maybe he’s a little mako drunk still. Doesn’t mean he needs Zack’s arm so tight around his waist.

A little lightheaded too. But just a little, he can still…

The steam is heavy in his lungs and a painful static blossoms in his head, just behind his right eye. Zeros all his attention to just the pain and Cloud can’t keep his legs standing. Distantly, he feels Zack follow him down to the floor. He expects flashes of something, memories he’ll never get back, or _Sephiroth._ Instead, it’s just weird raspy, wrong-sounding tones, words he doesn’t know. In whispers. It’s harder to breathe even more and the mako is starting to roll in his stomach.

Zack chooses that moment to yank him up and start dragging him. Cloud groans, too _rough_.

No, he is _fine._ Steps a little better, gotta make sure he’s not a hindrance to Zack.

Doesn’t he ever get tired of it? Of dragging Cloud around?

 _He’s_ tired of it.

He’s also not fine.

His whole body is on fire, feels his muscles twitching as if they are still being shocked. He thinks his wrist is cracked from pulling so hard on the restraints. Hurts to put any kind of pressure or fast movement on it. And he feels off, on the inside. Too many injections, too much mako. Something is different.

He’s skipped some time, didn’t really notice when everything went dark until he’s gasping in a good deep breath and Zack’s worried icy eyes are focused on him. So clear, Cloud loves Zack’s eyes. The mako is not so green in them, more faded and white-tinted, makes his eyes all icy and intense.

Feels cooler, he was so hot before.

“Woah,” Aerith leans over, her hair is swinging behind Zack’s shoulders, “how are you guys doing that?”

“More like what are they doing,” Jessie too.

They are moving, going up? Zack’s kneeling in front of him, his hand bare, pulled from his glove and holding strong against the side of his neck. Cloud frowns, looks off, green veins under his tanned skin. Aren’t veins supposed to be blue? Cloud reaches out to touch them.

Zack’s smiling at him, “there you go, feeling better?”

He is. A lot. Comes with a rush of embarrassment too. Cloud feels overwhelmed, everyone is staring at him as the elevator slows to a stop. He lowers his eyes, staring at Zack’s elbow. He’s pressing close to Cloud, lips brush against his head, always, always with the comforting kissing.

Cloud feels too raw.

And confused. What is going on, are they still in ShinRa? How did they even get here…wasn’t he in a mako tank?

Fuck, he’s losing memories again.

Zack’s yanking him to his feet. At least he doesn’t sway this time. Now that the heat in his body has faded, he is cold, gets even colder stepping out of the elevator after everyone. It’s a massive room, with a giant glowing tank in the center. So many tubes and wires connecting to it, fan out along the far-below floor and the high ceilings, connection to pods and mako tanks all along the walls. Whispering tickles his ears, a shake of his head won’t get rid of them. Seems to just make them louder.

“Whats-” Jessie’s already heading down the sky bridge to the center of the room.

“ShinRa’s darkest secret.” Cloud blinks at his side. There’s a talking dog…thing. What…how long has that been here?

“Ugh, of course, it wouldn’t be ShinRa without more secrets.” She’s too far ahead of them.

Somethings…Cloud frowns. His heart stutters, painfully, hears it in his ears, it mixes with the whispers. Wait, Jessie, _too far._

Static that’s not Zack static, so much. Hurts, it's not warm and safe.

“Jessie, wait up,” Aerith’s rushing after her, her face serious, some fear radiating from her.

Wait, everyone _wait_. Don’t go there. The static, it’s too strong. He reaches out to grab Zack’s arm, stop him from…

_It can’t be._

Static and a figure…by the tank. Someone who’s not supposed to be here.

Must be in his head. Right, it can’t be. It's all in his head, just like it always is. He thinks Zack tenses up next to him.

The static gets worse, cutting, lightning flashes. This feels different, it’s not the same. This is…pulling him. Not trying to get in him. This wants to bring him closer.

“Cloud!” So far, Zack’s so far from him.

His legs are moving on their own. Normally, he just can’t move at all. Normally, he just appears, next to him, around him. Not…there. He’s really there?

“T-Tell me.” _Sephiroth_ , “ s’really…you?”

He’s getting drowsy from the mako again. Static is so loud and shocks too painful, his body twitches with it in a rhythm, trying to get to _him_. To Sephiroth. No, he doesn’t want too. Tifa’s gasp follows him, there then. She can see him too? He thinks he can hear Zack screaming and Tifa’s shout, fading into the back. Just the white painful noise of static.

And the whispering. It’s so wrong-dark and deep, just off-pitch. Sounds so alien, sounds like it’s coming from Sephiroth.

Cloud can only make out the long line of the sky bridge, the cool-toned glow pulsing, so bright around the shadow of Sephiroth's tall form.

A laugh, a soft deep one, with a smirk and a hand reaching out, “Don’t deny me.”

It’s not so close in his ear like usual, not the echos in the white of his mind. It’s real; he’s really _there_ , dragging Cloud to him. Why, why does he want him? Hurts, it hurts to deny him. Cloud feels like he shouldn't. He should go to him, be with him. Sephiroth _needs_ him.

“Embrace me,” His voice, talking to him like they're old friends. It’s followed with panic static, almost like shocks. It's triggering his muscles, too much shocking. Feels like Hojo jabbing that rod into his side over and over.

Zack’s still screaming, sounds so rough and bloody in his throat.

“Cloud,” Feels warm around his waist, a heavy touch, Zack? His head flashes in blinding white, soft and tender. _Zack_ , “come on, he’s not so tough.”

It sparks a rage in him, rushes out all at once, and breaks the static and the pain.

Sephiroth, enveloped in the glow from the tank, smirking at him. Sea green eyes are so alien and odd, too bright. Who the fuck’s got slit-eyed pupils anyway. It pisses him off. Cloud lets the rage flow through him, with whatever strength he's got, rushes at Sephiroth, sword drawn and screaming. He’ll kill him; keep him out of his head for good.

 _Keep him from Zack_ -it’s a lost memory, flashes quickly. Sephiroth in Nibelheim, thrusting a long cut into Zack and tossing him aside. Going insane, he was going insane. Cloud _remembers._ Remembers the cool, friendly smile Sephiroth gave him on the way to his home town. Zack’s comforting hand on his shoulder. The winter storm when Hojo’s labs were accidentally discovered by Sephiroth.

“Something’s wrong with Sephiroth,” Cloud remembers saying. Zack going to check on him.

Stay away, Zack. No get away.

_Don’t_

_Touch_

_Zack_

Cloud’s sword clanks loudly with Masamune, Sephiroth sneering at him with an almost gentle smile. It’s off-putting, the rage in his sea eyes, with the soft smile on his lips.

“Finally, Cloud,” he slides Masamune a little closer, “a reunion.”

Sparks fly off their swords, metal on metal, getting too hot, Sephiroth’s stronger. He’s always been stronger, sends Cloud backward. Falling with barely a push, a smooth smile, and a soft laugh. Everything crashes around him; he falls hard, far from the center platform. The room is not as deep as it looks, but pain still explodes all over his body. Ugh, he fell on the side Hojo kept shocking.

At least his mind is clear. No more static, when he opens his eyes, Sephiroth is not there anymore.

How…how’s he alive? Cloud _remembers._ He chucked him in the lifestream, a nice slice into his side with Zack’s buster beforehand.

“Cloud!” Sounds like Tifa, not too far from him.

Sephiroth sliced the bridge in half, he’s alone on the floor of the room. So many wires and tubes, makes his arm itch, his left one, that had the IV in it. His breath’s coming out in small puffs, so cold. He manages to sit up at least, with just a small twinge in his side. That fall wouldn’t have been so bad if he hadn't been fucking tortured for hours beforehand.

“Hey,” that soft voice from the dog…thing, Red? Is that what he remembers. Someone had said his name, “you okay?”

He’s cautious to get too close to Cloud, tail a distracting flame in the dark. Cloud watches it flick back and forth a few times.

“Y-yeah,” He can stand if he ignores how much his thighs are shaking. Uses his sword to lean on for just a few minutes. Get his pain under control, or at least used to it.

Red stalks closer, circles around him a few times, “need some help?”

No, “No.”

He stumbles his first step; Red’s brushing against him, pushing his legs back with his side so he doesn’t fall.

“Mm, it’s alright if you do. Hojo’s never been too kind with his experiments on me either.”

That makes Cloud sad, gets tiny flashes of things Hojo did to him five years ago. He feels pressuring building in his head.

“I’m fine,” at least he can walk now; his legs aren’t shaking as much. Just sore. He’ll take sore over muscle weakness anytime. Red hovers close to him anyway.

It’s actually easy getting back up to the main level, he’s just slow from his injuries. The tubing and the wires make a nice makeshift ladder. Tifa and Zack’s voices are calling him. They echo a few times before he’s pulling himself up to level ground. He’ll pretend Red didn’t give him a little shove to help.

“There,” Red says, jerking his head to his right, “that your SOLDIER?”

Cloud knows, Zack is very hands-on and doesn’t shy away from couple-ly touches with him in front of others. But why does everyone just immediately know Zack is his? He feels his face heat up just thinking about it too much.

“Holy shit, are you fucking kidding me,” Zack’s running to him anyway. Cloud’s heart stutters, there’s blood on his face. A _lot_ of blood, nosebleed? Then…Zack got the static too. He knew he heard him screaming.

Zack’s got his hands all over him and pressing in close the moment he’s in reach. Right, this is why everyone knows they are…each others. Cloud’s embarrassing himself, presses his face into Zack’s shoulder. It’s his favorite place to hide. Zack’s not letting him for long, pulling his face up and smashing their lips together. It’s a little hard…Cloud’s kind of missing the tenderness he usually gets from Zack. Too much pain lately. He can taste Zack’s blood on his lips again. For some reason, Cloud is still not grossed out. It’s just Zack.

“You’re bleeding, he get you?” Zack’s smearing his blood over Cloud’s face, _again._

He should be annoyed, but Cloud smiles, hard not to let the butterflies in his stomach show through, “Think that’s you again, Zack.”

Zack’s smile is blinding, even in the dark lab, “Shit. Sorry, I keep bleeding all over you.”

Can't be that sorry, he pushes back in to get even more of his blood on Cloud’s face. He’ll take Zack happy and proud over angry and worried. He’s taken too much of Zack’s happiness already, doesn’t want to keep doing it. So he'll let him smear all the blood he wants on him. So long as Cloud gets that smile with it.

“I-I can’t believe it.” Tifa’s still staring over at the massive tank, “…that was really him.”

Tifa…that’s right. Tifa was there too, in Nibelheim. Her dad…Cloud’s stomach rolls. How could he have forgotten all of this? Sephiroth…he took _everything_ , from all three of them.

“Tifa,” Cloud pulls from Zack. He’s bad at comforting, doesn’t know what is too much and not enough. With Zack it’s easier, he’s so touchy, Cloud just has to lean on him and Zack will take what he needs.

That look in Tifa’s eyes, so sad. Even when they were kids and Cloud was always adjacent to her, he always hated seeing her sad eyes. He doesn’t know what to say. So he hugs her instead. Tifa gasps, of course she would. He’s not touchy with anyone, rarely instigates it with Zack. He doesn’t even let her get his arms around him back, just steps away, and can’t meet her eyes. Tries not to feel like he failed her.

“Come on, Jessie and Aerith are still somewhere.” Zack’s pressing his hand in the middle of his back.

They find them across the sky bridge, jumping over puddles of weird purple-black flame liquid. The whispering keeps happening every time he looks too closely at the puddles.

“Guys!” Jessie’s waving at them to go around to the other side, “what the fuck was that, we’re all having a very long sleepover about this.” She’s still yelling at them as she runs around after Aerith.

Sleepover? What are they five?

The other side has a disconnected sky bridge, Aerith’s struggling with the lever, but with Jessie’s help, they manage and are quickly crossing to meet them.

“Seriously tho, what the fuck was that? Was that the war hero, Sephirth-Seph-Spehrioth?”

“Sephiroth?” Zack’s barely containing his laugh at Jessie’s stumbling, “yeah…”

He trails off, staring at the label slack on the tank. It’s got Cloud’s attention too.

JENOVA.

He’d barely seen it, behind Sephiroth, an almost human-shaped body, grotesque and growing weird veins all over its body. He was pretty out of it when Hojo was doing things to them. He remembers waking up to Hojo muttering. JENOVA falling from his mouth a few times. But after that first injection, it’s pretty much a blur. Just the taste of mint the whole time and then shocks, too many shocks. Then the weird headspace thing with Zack and the mako tank.

The whispers get louder the longer he stares at the now empty tank. Sephiroth took it? Why? What's he want with JENOVA? Whatever it is, Cloud's got no idea, as usual.

“We need to get the fuck out of here,” Zack says, grabs Cloud’s arm, and pulls gently. The others are already heading to a back elevator, hopefully that leads to the roof.

A dreaded feeling still lingers in his head, Hojo’s been oddly silent. Their luck can’t be that good.

Cloud knows his certainly isn’t. All the luck he’s ever had gave him Zack, he’s got no more left after that.

His head pulses and his body is aching again, adrenaline fading. He needs a nap, a long one.

“Let’s go Cloudy-sky.”

***

Cissnei’s eyes widen, there’s no mistake. Zack, that’s Zack disappearing into the depths of Hojo’s laboratory

“Tseng,”

“I saw him.”

Looked like he went in on his own? What is going on? She has to at least go talk to him; she’s got a bad feeling in her stomach.

“Well, do you have a pass to Hojo’s lab?”

He’s interrupted by his cell, not that she thought he really did. Hojo doesn’t get along with the Turks too well, despite the SOLDIER program being very tangled up in the Turks' own. She really hopes Zack is alright. After everything and all the miscommunication. She thought the Turks were better than this. Somehow she just gets proven wrong over and over. This time, she’ll make sure he stays safe.

“Of course not, I’ll see to it.”

She catches the end of Tseng’s call. He looks, displeased, a frown on his face. More emotion from him she’s seen in a while. Something must be wrong.

“What’s wrong?”

“Come with me, there’s a situation.”

“What about Zack?”

Tseng pauses, just for a moment, “I’m sorry, Cissnei, he’ll have to hold on.”

She doesn’t like it, but Tseng’s got his ‘that’s an order’ voice going so she follows him back down the hallway. Away from Hojo’s lab and whatever horrible things Zack is going through in it. She realizes quickly, whatever this ‘situation’ is, has Tseng nervous. She’s short, but normally she’s got no problem keeping up with everyone. She’s basically running, Tseng’s walking so fast.

They get back to internal affairs quickly; Reno and Rude are lounging on the far couches, looking far too cozy. She smirks as both of them stiffen up. Reno swings his legs off of Rude, but he’s all battered from Strife still, winces too obviously when he moves. She tries not to laugh at him. It’s still funny. That Strife kid is just so…small and pretty. Not that Reno’s any better. He’s even thinner, actually, now that she thinks about it. Reno’s the least threatening person she knows.

“What’s with the rush?” Reno winces again, “need us to take care of something?”

Tseng’s already at his computer, frowning even more at Reno.

“I don’t think you’re up to taking care of something even if I did.”

“Ouch, boss. I only lost by a hair.”

Rude coughs his laugh away. Still gets a glare from Reno.

Cissnei’s all for teasing Reno, but the image Tseng brings up on the security cameras is haunting. Stops all words in her mouth.

It’s impossible. She gasps as she steps up to Tseng’s desk.

On the screen, clear as day, walking down the corridor, right past a terrified Palmer, is _Sephiroth._

“Yo, is that…” Reno’s shocked into silence.

“That’s impossible.” Rude echoes him.

Except it’s not. Camera after camera shows him moving smoothly through the building, even into Hojo’s lab. The doors open for him without a key card. Then…that means Hojo knows he’s here.

Sephiroth, Midgar’s war Hero.

Dead, he’s dead five years now. His…unfortunate degrading mind only known among Hojo, Rufus, and the Turks.

They can’t see what he’s doing in Hojo’s lab. The camera is only accessible to Hojo in there. He’d made sure to keep ShinRa out of his personal laboratory, only the president and a few others. That bad feeling in her stomach spreads throughout her body. Zack, Sephiroth, all this is not adding up. There’s something they are missing. This is all connected, but she can't see how.

“Are we missing something here?” Reno stands, with surprise, another wince.

Tseng is still frowning, “ I believe so,” he cuts into the live security cameras on the top floor, the president's office.

Sephiroth’s there, lurking in the shadows, but she’s just as surprised to see a group of six come rushing out of the elevator.

_Zack._

Along with Strife, who doesn’t look too hot, and three girls, plus a dog…cat thing. One of Hojo’s experiments?

“What are you doing here, Aerith?” Tseng’s not focused on the fact that a dead war hero is jumping shadows towards the group of girls that has their SOLDIERS they just saved from the plate.

Aerith, she’s heard that name a few times. Reno and Rude have had a few detail missions on her, and Tseng more than once has muttered about it. She’s never taken a mission past training recruits, not after Zack. She’s been too mad, at ShinRa, at the Turks. At Tseng, for taking so long to get his act together.

She feels like the universe is hiding something from them, that they are about to step onto a path that has no end.

“Rude, Reno, take a chopper and pick up Rufus, I need too…stay here.”

“-But,”

“Go, now. He’s waiting.”

They leave with a bit of whining from Reno and a rather badly placed arm slap from Rude. She can hear them shouting and bickering as they walk down the hallway.

Cissnei doesn’t like the shadow in Tseng’s eye. He zooms in on the Aerith girl, the one with the green eyes and red jacket.

She’s missing something. But she thinks so is Tseng.

***

The weird purple-black liquid is all over the elevator as they go up to the president’s level. It smells strongly of ozone and decay. Zack can feel Cloud’s nausea, hears him making small grunts under his breath. Is it, blood? JENOVA blood? Or just the odd mako mix she, _it_ , was suspended in.

Whatever it is, it’s all over the floor too. A thick trail, solid and oozing all the way up the stairs and around hallways. Aerith’s looking just as sick as Cloud and she lingers near him. Zack can see her hand twitch in his direction as if she’s going to HEAL him any second.

“Ugh, this is just getting grosser and grosser.” Jessie’s leading them, like she knows something is waiting to help them on the other side, all confidence and no worry.

Zack feels the opposite. Feels like they are going to a dead end. The trail of JENOVA juice just gets thicker and hotter? It’s warm when he walks over it. He can almost hear it, the whispering. It’s faint but there. One glance at Cloud doesn’t reassure him. His left hand is twitching badly. The entire arm writhes with the twitch every so often, subtle, like he’s shaking a muscle strain, or trying to contain an old injury.

The dark floor plan spits them out into a brighter room; Zack’s only been up here once. On a following his new mentor only time. Angeal had been summoned to help Sephiroth, a Wutai mission. He remembers not being very impressed with the president. Zack had been, naïve, to just ignore the darker side of ShinRa, until it came biting him in the ass. He knew, he just wanted to not believe it. The dark look in the president's eye. He'd known the first time he met him, what kind of man he was. The office looks the same, overly clean, all hard lines and no personal touches. Just the massive desk and screens dead center, with that leather swivel chair to make it more dramatic. All six of them stick pretty close together, the blood trail ends at the desk.

“Where did it go?” Aerith asks. The JENOVA body, it’s large, not so easy to hide. But it’s nowhere.

“And where is Sephiroth?” Tifa’s glancing around for him more than Cloud is.

Honestly, Zack’s not that worried about Sephiroth. All this has been too easy. What Hojo just lets them go? No, not after that whole speech about his weird-ass cells and Cloud’s sensitivity to…basically everything. There’s no way, not even Zack’s luck can get them out like this.

“Well, I see Hojo has been letting his experiments run a little too freely around here.”

All of them tense up. Everyone knows that voice, the president. Great, not that the guy is actually all that threatening, an asshole, but not threatening, not to him anyway. Just, Zack really wants to be out of here, and be somewhere he can take a nap with Cloud, a very long one.

Jessie seems to be having a different approach; she’s suddenly yanking out a grenade and running at President ShinRa. He’s only just swiveled around in his chair, looking entirely too smug. Doesn’t even seemed phased to have someone about to lop an explosive at him.

Shit, probably that gun he just pulled up.

Jessie stops in her tracks, her finger still tight on the pull trigger.

“Avalanche, then? Didn’t expect a little girl to be sent in.”

Jessie’s eye twitches, so does her finger. Zack hopes she doesn’t go for the bait. He shoots her before she can throw that and they are all dead. Tifa and Aerith all too close to her, Red as well. He and Cloud, maybe, but some limbs would be off for sure.

“Lucky you, I’m only here for my boys, not your head.” Jessie relaxes, slips the grenade back in her pocket, but Zack sees her palm smoothing over her own pistol.

“Ah, those SOLDIERS hiding behind you?”

Hiding? They’re not _hiding_. Rude.

“And what makes you think I’ll just let you out of here?”

“Quickdraw?” Jessie smirks, pulling her pistol out on him as well.

Not a smart move though, Zack doesn’t really want to be in this standstill. He’s betting President ShinRa called in some backup, at the very least put the building on lockdown.

“No, I’m afraid there’s only one way you’ll get to leave here.”

“Oh?”

He twists his pistol on…Aerith?

“The ancient stays.”

The what? Tifa and Jessie tense up, Red’s tail is flicker harder, he’s rather close to Aerith, snarling at the president.

The ancient? What, why does he think Aerith is that? She seems too calm for this. Aerith’s staring him down with a cold glare. Zack can see her mind spinning already. She’ll do it. She’ll stay to let them leave. No way, Zack can’t let her. After all the shit Hojo has done to him and Cloud. Who knows what he plans on doing to Aerith. If she really is…seems not possible.

Aerith takes a step forward; Tifa’s arm shoots out immediately.

“No, Aerith, forget it. We'll chance a fight”

Zack’s not really seeing it an easy one, but he agrees with Tifa. No way, she’s not staying, especially after she came running in to save him.

“Now, now, if it’s a little more convincing you need-jusgh-”

A thin, shiny, blood-covered sword just rips through the back of the chair, going and going, sticking long out from President ShinRa’s chest. He gurgles some more blood, it spits out and down his chin before the sword is pulled swiftly back, President ShinRa’s body falling to the floor with a heavy, echoing thud.

Zack hears it, from Cloud, the static.

He doesn’t’ need it in his ears to know it’s Sephiroth rising from behind the chair. Masamune is the only sword in all of Midgar like that. He’s not really looking forward to the blinding pain in his head and the static, like in the lab. Hojo had been right…annoyingly. Sephiroth keeps trying to get in his head but since the last time. He can’t. Just a little flash of him trying, but something in Zack’s blood denies him. He’s guessing that's the reason for the nosebleeds and the pain then. Cloud doesn’t get either of those…so maybe, it’s his body fighting off Sephiroth's control?

Doesn’t really matter right now, Zack reaches out and grabs Cloud’s arm. Grounding, they need to ground each other. They help pull themselves away from Sephiroth, he can’t get them when they are together. He feels Cloud’s fear building. He’s so scared of Sephiroth. It’s the only thing that freezes him like this. Zack tries to push reassuring thoughts to Cloud. Let him know Sephiroth won’t get them.

He won’t let him. They both step up to the girls, drawing swords. Aerith’s shaking with rage; he’s never seen hate like that in her eyes before. She’s never even met Sephiroth. She’s breathing hard.

“Aerith, what’s-” Tifa’s pressed close to her, eyes tight on Sephiroth as well.

“-It’s the source…”

That’s the moment everything goes to shit. Cloud’s whole body tenses and just violently falls to the ground, as if someone had pulled him down to his hands and knees. He’s heaving, his body trying to rid something that’s not there. The room goes dark and Sephiroth has got a weird fog circling him, purple and black, like the JENOVA blood. The whole room is suddenly covered in…alien growth. It’s dripping and smells so sharply of decaying. The office disappears, replaced with icicles and reflective ceilings.

“What’s happening?” Tifa sounds scared, but her gloves are up and glowing with her chakra, she’s placed herself firmly in front of Aerith.

“It’s just an illusion,” Red’s soft voice says, Zack can’t see him, it’s getting darker.

A massive semi-human looking…fiend. It’s the only thing Zack can think to call it. That horrible wrong-toned voice and the duel voice screech it gives out, it’s not anything from Gaia. It’s _alien._ He’s heard it too many times in his head to not recognize it. The massive form keeps growing, sprouts bulbous tentacles from its base, all along it's back, and almost crustacean-like shields from its middle, the only thing that looks slightly human. The middle, all veins, and torso shaped, it’s head phantom and skull-like, with dark sunken eyes and an oddly shaped mouth, ripped skin and then healed over in a shell-like texture.

Looks similar to the JENOVA thing wrapped around Cloud in their headspace. Is this it then, what JENOVA is. It’s horrible, Zack can’t imagine it’s cells being inside his body, inside Cloud’s.

“Looks pretty fucking real to me!” Jessie’s shouting, she’s on the other side of it, already putting bullets into its flesh. The thing doesn’t even flinch.

Zack agrees this isn’t fake. If Sephiroth wasn’t here, has he been not here the whole time? How, how has JENOVA gotten itself out of Hojo’s lab? In the form of Sephiroth, but why? Why him? This is becoming too much of a head spin. Zack hates when he’s right. A den of monsters isn’t even close to what ShinRa is. No, it's a whole horror show nightmare.

It doesn’t die easy, they all are giving it everything they have. It’s flesh just mends back together, stitching quickly before their eyes. Every time Zack slices at it, it turns it’s dark eyes on him and screams. He can feel an odd pull in his blood, faint, fades quickly. Cloud’s fairing worse. He keeps getting the monster's main attention, focuses hard on him. Zack and the others are just a mild annoyance, it wants Cloud. Because of its cells inside his body?

Whatever it is, the longer Cloud lingers close, the longer the fight goes on, the worse Cloud gets. He’s slowing, his blocks not as sturdy. Zack tries to hover close to him, but the JENOVA creature seems to be intentionally keeping them apart. Sweeps Zack back if he gets too close to Cloud.

There’s a horrific change in the room around them, black oozing starts dripping from the ceilings on them, deep purple flames lit in the thick liquid. The stench is so strong Zack’s senses are flooded, blinds him almost. Makes him miss the moment Cloud completely fails to jump out of the way from one of JENOVA's reaching tentacles. It gets a strong grip on him, tangling around his waist, trapping one of his arms to his body. Brings him in close and just squeezes him, moves it's slithering arm around his body, immobilizing him, Zack can see Cloud struggling to just stay conscious. Zack's raging, but he can't get to him. Why is this whole fucking day just rage and being blocked from Cloud. He's got to do better.

As if it knows it's pissing him off, Jenova pulls Cloud in closer, its dark eyes staring right at Zack. One of its back arms darts up, jabs at Cloud, wraps tightly around his neck until he's arching in its grasp and gasping for air. The flesh around him freezes and from every pore on the alien skin, a wave of black ooze unleashes all over Cloud, thick and suffocating. Zack can hear the static and Cloud’s panic for breath. It’s choking him, the black liquid getting in his mouth, his eyes. There's so much of it, he'll drown in it. Jenova squeezes him and it’s disfigured face looks right up at Zack and flings Cloud at him. Zack’s got no chance to jump out of the way, Cloud’s limp body colliding into him and knocks them both back against the wall.

Pain erupts all over Zack, the black ooze is hot and bubbly. Sends him into a panic, this shit is inside Cloud’s mouth and his eyes, it's in his _body_. He’s twitching all over on the floor next to him, his body trying to force the foreign substance out. Throwing it up, some mako coming with it. Cloud’s making horrifying sounds, struggles to get breaths in, just keeps throwing up the thick JENOVA liquid. Zack starts to see blood dripping from Cloud's mouth.

He’s got no mana left to help cleanse Cloud, he can’t do anything but watch him suffer. His eyes are stinging, getting blurry.

“I got him!” Aerith, beautiful Aerith, she’s rushing over, hands glowing and spouting a white haze over Cloud.

All the JENOVA liquid disappears and Cloud stops hacking up black. He’s not better, he's injured bad, just collapses all the way to the floor and breathing in as much air as he can. Sounds painful, he's wheezing. Aerith’s got her hands on his arm, trying to maneuver him to his side.

The JENOVA creature screams, suddenly and loud. Zack looks up in time to see Jessie toss a grenade right into the things open mouth. She’s pulling Tifa with her back to a safe distance. It shakes with the explosion, pink-ish skin drying out, and then explodes into black ooze and dust. The reflective room fades back to ShinRa’s top office. The president’s dead body still at the bottom of the steps.

He’s expecting Sephiroth to reappear, but it’s some sickly looking guy, all waxy skin and grayish. He falls to the floor in his ratted clothing, a numbered tattoo on his arm. It's the only thing striking.

JENOVA’s weirdly human body is just a few steps down.

Tifa and Jessie’s heavy breathing is loud in the now silent room.

“The actual fuck is going on in this shitty company,” Jessie says.

Zack snorts, he’s been trying to find that out for years now. He kneels down to Cloud, Aerith’s still got her hands on his side, whispering her HEALING cast over and over. Doesn’t seem to be doing much. Cloud’s just taken too much pain, there’s only so much a body can handle. He’s pulling his gloves off, sliding his bare hand under Cloud’s turtleneck. His side feels warm and tender, bruised from Hojo’s torturing and now from that JENOVA thing.

Nothing happens. Cloud’s not pulling Zack’s healing from him, just lies there breathing shallow and slow. That pesky eye stinging is back.

“Hey, come on, don’t do this,” Zack moves Aerith away with only a look, kneeling over Cloud, sliding his hand around to his back, “Come on beautiful,” he’s quiet, feeling the heavy stares of everyone on them. Zack can barely feel Cloud’s presence in his mind.

“Cloud.” Zack feels him slipping away. No…that’s. No, he’s not dying. He’s _not._

Maybe, he’s got to jump-start his own healing? Doesn’t have to think about it more than once. He reaches for Cloud’s blade on the ground, slices his hand good and deep. His body starts healing before he’s even pulling away from the blade. Still not working? Too many heartbeats in the silence. Cloud's breathing is slower still.

No, it does, it's working. That cooling sensation pulls from his chest and glittery mako veins appear on his forearm. He slides his hand up under Cloud’s shirt more, griping his neck and watching the green veins blossom under Cloud’s pale skin, reaching out from his neck and up into his jaw.

A collective sigh of relief comes from everyone at Cloud’s groan. His lashes flutter slow, but he’s already moving to sit up, drowsy, and leaning close to Zack. Every time he does this, Cloud comes back slower. Is he on borrowed healing? Zack can’t help but think so, just mending his body temporarily.

“Guys…” Jessie’s already moving as Zack pulls Cloud up against his side, “where did that headless body go?”

She’s right, JENOVA is gone. No blood trail to even follow. Aerith’s still got anger in her eyes, she stares at the empty spot, even as the rest of them follow Jessie out onto the helicopter deck. She’s waving at them to hurry, all relieved smiles and happy eyes.

“Aerith,” Zack calls to her, hiking Cloud close against his side.

He’s expecting a soft smile and her to skip over. He gets a haunted look instead, her gaze lingers on Cloud and she gets sad, her eyes wet.

“Right, gotta make sure he’s okay, first.”

First…what are they doing second? She’s been weird this whole time, quiet and angry. Shares too many knowing looks with Tifa, stares too long at Cloud. She comes over instead of passing them, slips her arm under Cloud’s other side, and hoists him up more. Cloud looks to her in confusion, still out of it.

“Don’t worry, Thunder Cloud, we’ll get you better.” She says, softly with a little pat on Cloud’s back.

“D-don’t…call me…that,” Cloud says, even manages a small smile at her.

Her laugh is watery.

Out on the rooftop, it’s cold and heavy rain clouds are moving in on the city. Jessie, Tifa, and Red are at the very edge of the helicopter deck. Zack’s not sure how this will help. The longer they stay up here, the more troopers ShinRa will just send their way. It'd be better if they take the emergency elevator, down the side of the building. ShinRa built it the last time the president’s life was in danger.

Didn’t work out too well for him this time.

“So, what’s the plan now?” Zack asks.

“It better be good,” Tifa’s eyeing behind them, Zack twists to look; troopers rushing into the presidential office.

Great. They’re not really up for another fight. Like _really_. All of them are short on mana and Cloud's down for the count. Until Zack can get some more weird cell sharing healing going. Jessie's the only one looking peachy-keen.

“Oh, it is a good plan,” Jessie’s jumping and pushing them back a bit, waving up at the sky.

Strong outward winds fall over them and the rushing sound of a helicopter reaches Zack’s ears. Almost thinks he’s back on the plate.

It’s actually two helicopters, dark and slowing to a hover above them. AVALANCHE is painted on the sides in thick bright paint. The door swings open on the first one as it levels out to the deck, god damn Biggs is grinning from ear to ear at them.

“Need a lift?”

Zack laughs.

“What, how?” Tifa’s already following Jessie to the chopper.

“I told ya,” Jessie winks at her, “I left a note. Remember?”

Aerith’s giggle is full of amazement and relief, “that’s some note.”

Wedge and Barret are sticking their heads out the door too, as Jessie lets Biggs pull her up into the helicopter.

“Called in HQ!” Wedge yells over the noise, “thought maybe you could use some help.”

Tifa’s laughing and jumping in after Jessie, “that you guys then, making it so easy for us the whole way?”

“You bet, gonna have to pay for it in favors though, didn't even know we had a man on the inside of ShinRa,” Barret’s shifting his gun arm, pointing past them, must be the troops filing out. They have to hurry.

“Go on, you first Aerith,” Zack’s jutting his jaw at her as Red jumps up too. It’s going to be a tight fit on that helicopter. Guess that’s what the second one is for.

Too bad it gets shot down the second Aerith’s pulled her legs up onto the metal flooring of the first one.

“Shit!” The chopper sways, pulls up and away from the dock.

Gives Zack the view of a ShinRa helicopter coming in. Fucking Reno and Rude are in the driving seats. It's got to be some kind of karma, for all the times he was just a little too teasing at Reno. That fucker just keeps showing up to spite him.

“Zack! Cloud!” Jessie’s yelling from the Avalanche chopper. It’s too hot for them to come back in and get them. ShinRa troopers pushing at their backs and Reno’s hovering close, already lining up the guns.

Double shit, that’s fucking Rufus Shinra jumping outta the helicopter. Nope, _no_ Zack’s got no more energy and no more time. He’ll take the troopers; they’re easier and close to the emergency elevator. Rude is already lighting up the flight deck, trying to push him to the side. Zack hoists Cloud onto his back, gets a groan, and a weak grip around his neck for it. He’s got no time to be gentle, just has to get them out.

Avalanche does another go around, Barret shooting off bullets to draw Reno’s attention. Perfect, just enough time to double back. He doesn't even want to see where Rufus is. What's he doing here, usually he likes to boss the Turks around from his palace over at the coast. Zack’s got to slide into the office just a bit to get to the emergency elevators. The whole building must be on lockdown by now. Rufus arriving, the president dead, there’s no way they can get out another way. He tightens his grip on his buster, ready to take out the troopers as he runs through the doorway.

He doesn’t expect to run right into Cissnei. She's jumped back in surprise.

“Zack!” She recovers quickly, stepping forward at him.

He feels bad, slashing his sword up and at her. She was kind enough to help him, get ShinRa’s trooper army off his back more than once. This is different; she can’t hide behind all the space and distance now. She’s here, in the heart of ShinRa and she’s his enemy. With more troopers and Tseng coming up the front entrance.

Gotta move, Zack makes a quick show of lunging at Cissnei, gets her to jump back enough so he can rush by and into the emergency elevator.

“Wait! Zack, I just want to he-” The doors cut off her voice and Zack hits all the buttons, lights them up so no one can stop them on the way down.

Help him, that’s what she was saying. Makes him laugh bitterly as he gently puts Cloud down against the glass. ShinRa’s no help to him anymore, even from a sweetheart like Cissnei.

He’s pulling his gloves off again, tucks them away in his pockets. Cloud’s barely responsive to him again, awake, but his face twists in pain too often, he’s getting lost in it.

“Okay, I’m sorry Spikes, one more time. We just need one last push.”

Hopefully, Avalanche will be trying to get to them, if Zack can get them out the front door…maybe, out onto the highway.

He slides his hands around Cloud’s jaw, lifts his head and leans in close. He had to jump start it before, but maybe…if he focuses. That feeling of being pulled in, his blood cooling and letting go, just the opposite of mana. It’s shocking, feeling the sharp static that connects their minds together. He grips Cloud’s jaw tight, just thinks on HEAL, HEAL, over and over.

Cloud’s body jolts, their heads knock together and he’s gripping tightly at Zack’s wrists. Gasping, his eyes wide. There are so many little green mako veins rushing to the back of his head, up around his face. All shimmery and bright.

“G-good, “he stutters, “Zack, that’s good. Too much.”

A rush of exhaustion follows Zack’s hands as he drops them from Cloud. Woah, a rush in his head too. Okay, yeah, maybe he pushed on the healing a little strong. Cloud’s got his hands on _him_ now. Zack chuckles, thunks his head softly against Cloud’s again.

“You ready? We’re almost out of here.”

Cloud nods at him, eyes clear, and looking less pale. Zack’s got just enough time to press in for a quick kiss before the elevator slows to a stop and the doors ding open.

They get separated immediately. Just waves of troopers, no way is this the Turks after them. Must be Heidegger. They push Cloud down the left side hallway and Zack toward the front lobby. It’s a lot, just wave after wave of troopers. Zack can only guess ShinRa is trying to tire him out then. He feels bad, he probably knows some of these guys, trained them even. He wonders if any of them recognize him as he slices through them.

He hopes that healing will last Cloud until they get back together. The hallway Cloud was pushed down connects around and back to the lobby, through the automobile gallery. It shouldn’t be too hard of a fight for him. Zack manages to fight down the steps, leaving behind a nasty blood trail and groaning troopers. He tries not to deal too many fatal blows. Every time he does, he just thinks, what if that had been Cloud? Hard not to see Cloud in his cadet uniform, all bright eyes, and smiles for him. Fuels his ShinRa hate all that much more. He gets surrounded down by the reception desk, not his best move, but he honestly didn’t think that much effort would be put in getting him to stay in the building. He’s not sure why, they sent a whole fucking platoon after him the first time. Nearly half the Turks too. How does Hojo have this much pull in the company? Or something else is going on. That ancient thing, with Aerith.

There are even more troopers storming the front doors and Zack sees Heidegger getting out of the left side militia truck. He’s got no time for this either, no time for company leaders, and no time left for killing the grunts. He’s got at least fifty guns on him and no way out.

Except for that deep, low growl of an engine coming up behind him. He’s not even fully realized it, just watches as Cloud’s sliding a sexy sleek motorcycle through the first line of troops, just skids the wheels in a circle to come back around for another lap. The fucking look Cloud gives him, up through his lashes with that rare confidant smirk, his real one. Just one long hot stare at him before Cloud revs the engine again, spins the wheels, and plows through half the other troopers before pulling right up to him.

“Let’s roll.”

Ugh, fucking, get out. If he wasn’t so hot right now Zack would give him so much shit for the one-liner. To bad his brain’s gone all mush again, cause all the hotness. He laughs for him instead, swings his leg over, and slides right in behind Cloud and the smooth leather of the seat. The bike’s low, built for speed and agility. Easy to switch between reverse and drive, duel throttle-system, and light to the touch. Angeal would never let him go near the prototypes. One of the few bikes ShinRa’s designed with combat in mind. Sits low to the ground, Cloud’s gotta lean down for the handlebars. Means Zack’s got to lean over with him, all pressed up against him, Cloud’s hips warm between his thighs, his ass tight up in his lap. O-h this is going to be just as bad as the dress then. Especially with all the low engine growling and the vibration of the bike between them.

Doesn’t help that he’s being all cool, saving his dumb ass too.

Heidegger is barely through the doors before Cloud’s spinning the back wheels and heading back up the staircase. The truck barricade is too close to jump, going through a top window then. Zack throws his buster, loosening up the glass before they charge through. Cloud’s nice enough to roll right past his sword before it even touches the ground; Zack’s got it back in his hands as they burn rubber down the highway.

The fresh air feels amazing in his lungs. It’s freezing on the bike, even with the twin cylinders hot behind them and the low ground point. Zack slips his buster back onto his back and leans down against Cloud a bit more, presses in tight against his body.

“You fucking kidding me, Spikes. You know how hot you look on this thing?”

Cloud laughs. Sounds a little tired. Zack’s healing must be wearing off. He wonders why, if that’s even what is happening. They have a huge mess to sort out with themselves and with Aerith when they get safe.

Cloud takes them down the main road for a while, takes the third exit out onto the freeway. There are not too many people out at night and the longer they drive, eventually no cars. An incoming helicopter does descend on them once they are clear of most civilian vehicles. Still the army, not the Turks, Zack can see it’s more military-grade, more ammo, a bigger punch.

Cloud’s a good driver, just makes this all the more sexy and gets Zack's adrenaline running. Easily sways the bike with the lightest touch, out of bullet rounds path, even a few fire blasts, just a hot heat on their necks, but no burns. The wind is tight on them and cold. Whips through Zack’s hair and makes his arms feel numb.

It’s fucking awesome.

Cloud does his best to shake the chopper, but it’s got the advantage of bird's eye view and the speed on them. Even zipping through the tunnels on the lower freeway channel doesn’t lose it. Damn, ShinRa really wants them bad. Their luck holds, another helicopter’s lowering down on them, this one is theirs. Barret’s hanging out the side door and lighting up the ShinRa chopper. It’s only a few more miles of Cloud weaving back and forth in between some nasty grenade shots before Barret takes it down. Crashes into a fiery mess a few miles down.

“Slow up,” Zack says in Cloud’s ear.

“You guys alright?” Jessie’s shouting as the Avalanche chopper meets their speed; she’s leaning over Barret’s large shoulder, nearly falling out with a surprised laugh, “you lookin’ real sexy on that beauty.”

Fucking, yeah they do. Zack’s been trying to keep his mind off of it. Cloud's real warm against him.

“Where we headed?” Cloud asks, sounds a bit clipped, that healing must be wearing fast.

“Can’t stay here anymore!” Jessie’s shouting, “ShinRa’s gonna be out for us!”

For Aerith too, if the president was willing to trade for her.

“Meet us up north,” Barret’s got Jessie around the waist, near heart attack on his face, she's still all laughs, “small town just outside the desert terrain.”

Zack knows it. Kalm Town, only been there once, for some militia set up back when Angeal first took him on as a student. It’s only got a small reactor, ShinRa’s not a huge influence out there in the middle of nothing. Should be safe for a few days. It’s a few hours drive, maybe shorter with the speed Cloud’s pushing.

Damn, his little speedster thinks this is slowed up? They’re still breaking 200.

“We’ll double back and check on you guys! Gotta drop off some of these chumps!” Jessie’s shouting as the chopper pulls up and ahead. Cloud chases it for a bit, knocking up the speed back to 250. Few hours, yeah, right, they’ll be there in no time.

Zack keeps tight to Cloud, for the warmth, but also to keep tabs on his body. He feels tense like he's trying to stay awake. Zack slides his hand up Cloud's chest, rests on his heart. It's beating faster than it should be. It's okay, Zack can reach the handles from here, if he needs too. They zoom down the road for a while, but it's quiet the whole time. No other forces come after them and they pass the final gate on the freeway with ease. It’s just getting passed the wall now. That front gate is hardly ever open even during the day. Too many fiends can get in.

The freeway curves down, now that they are a ways away from the slums, all the roads flatten back out to the ground and come to a grinding halt at the wall. Cloud’s not slowing down, Zack tightens his arms on his waist in a warning.

“It’s fine, look,” Cloud says, tilts the bike a bit so Zack’s vision is better without sitting up from Cloud’s warm body.

He’s right, the gates are open, just wide enough for them to slip on through. Jessie and Barret must have made a pit stop for them.

How fucking _sweet._

Feels weird, suddenly being spat back out into the desert. It’s night time and the terrain looks softer in the moonlight. Does weird things to Zack’s chest. Not even a month and a half in Midgar and here they are running away from it. Guess his plan didn’t work out too well. They didn’t last too long as mercenaries, they also didn’t stay under the radar either. Instead, Zack’s got Cloud tangled up even more in ShinRa’s dark secrets.

But maybe that was inevitable. ShinRa’s hard to outrun, hard to hide from.

He’s still got Cloud, warm between his legs, maybe a little too injured, but he's not comatose. He’s got friends too, it’s not just the two of them anymore. This time, it’ll be different.

Plus, they got this sweet ass bike.

***

Cissnei can’t believe it. Sephiroth just slides his sword into President ShinRa’s back like it’s nothing. What for? Why’s he back now, if he’s been alive all this time.

She’s got no more time to freeze on the matter; Tseng is already calling up orders and gathering troopers. She watches on screen as Zack and his group rush out to the flight deck.

“What are you calling the troops for?” She asks, rushing after Tseng, “It’s Zack, if we just _talk_ to him.”

“I’m sorry, Cissnei. He’s got the ancient with him. I’m not above force. ShinRa needs her help.”

The ancient? This bullshit again. Hearing about it from the president and even from Rufus was enough, but she thought Tseng had a better head on his shoulders. That poor girl, Aerith, haven’t they done enough to her?

“So you’re just going to gun him down, after all that trouble we went through to save him? After everything Hojo’s done to him?”

It’s not her words that get him to stop, his shoulders tight. It’s her tone, she knows. They’ve fought about this before, about the morals ShinRa has been lacking recently. About his choices with the Turks.

“I’m not without reason, if Zack punches first...”

Tseng will punch right back. She sighs; it’s not going to end well. The look on Zack’s face, it’s haunted, there’s rage there. He’s angry and he has every right to be. ShinRa took everything and more from him after he had already given everything willingly.

“I’m coming with you.”

He doesn’t want her too, but she doesn’t care. She promised. And she’s done doing ShinRa’s dirty work.

“Fine, but I’ll need you to connect with Reno and Rude after we’ve collected the ancient. I’m bringing in a new agent; you’ll need to get her training started too.”

A new agent, for what? Sephiroth? They will have to deal with him. Keep the panic from getting out. President of the company, murdered by dead war hero Sephiroth? No, it can’t get out.

They can’t just slide this under the rug, not like last time. When they couldn’t find Sephiroth’s body, they should have kept looking. They have to find him.

She’ll start with Hojo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, we all know what's coming next, Zack's gunna fuck the life out of Cloud on that bike. lol
> 
> Now that we are well passed that hard left turn, anybody excited to go into the unknown? All you original FFVII players, this is all where the clashing begins. 
> 
> See ya next time! (not in five days I promise) 
> 
> PS* So sorry if I leave a few characters to the side, and I mean the side. It's getting a little crowded up in here. lol


	12. We Could Be Lovers Even Just Tonight, We Could Be Anything You Want

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone needs some down time. 
> 
> WARNING*  
> Triggers: MAJOR FLUFF, EMOTIONAL CONSTIPATION, CLOUD'S SO BAD AT FEELINGS.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! 
> 
> It's been raining like crazy, so that always put me in a fluff mood. Have some soft down time with our bois! 
> 
> Also, holy shit, you guys were so SO sweet in the comments last chapter, thank you for understanding about the longer wait! 
> 
> Happy Reading!

The desert is quiet and open, for as long as he can see, miles and miles of red rock and dust. The sky an endless blanket of dark and shimmering stars. He’s missed it. Feels like freedom, staring out at the horizon line, no buildings or signs of ShinRa, of civilization. Just the open dusty road and the wind on his face.

Zack used to prefer the city, at least he told himself that when he left home for Midgar. His heart’s always been a country boy, even after all those years in the cramped city.

There’s no real road Cloud is following. It’s mostly just fine dirt that used to be rocks, smoothed by use of travel. No pavement and the terrain gets steep at times. The bike’s doing just fine, off-road wheels have a good grip. If he drifts too far to the east, Zack directs him back north.

They’ve been driving for a good two hours now, Midgar not even visible behind them. It’s calming and Zack can pretend the last few days never happened. No mass genocide, no torturing Cloud, no creepy ass JENOVA creature trying to drown Cloud in black liquid. He can almost pretend.

 _Almost_ , if it wasn’t for the way Cloud’s head dips sometimes like he’s losing consciousness. So far, a gentle squeeze at his waist keeps him awake and focused. Zack’s still ready to grab at the handlebars just in case. The air is even colder out in the middle of nowhere; Zack’s arms are covered in goosebumps. Cloud seems to be burning under his touch. It’s concerning him as well, a fever maybe? There’s no way Cloud should be running this hot. He presses his check against Cloud’s ear.

“Okay, Cloud?”

“Mmm.”

That means sort of then. Cloud’s got no reason to be shy right now, so going quiet means he’s not feeling good. Zack rubs circles with his thumb into Cloud’s side, mindful of the bruising and injures that lurk under his clothing. He still can’t wrap his head around everything. It’s hard to focus on the information he’s picked up when his adrenaline has finally crashed. Cloud’s really the only thing on his mind. He wishes it was still the sudden burning desire for him on this fucking bike, but.

He just keeps hearing Cloud _screaming_ in his head. Along with his energy crash, it’s making him numb. So he tries to focus on the landscape instead, arms tight around Cloud.

Every hour it cycles in his head. Cloud screaming, too numb, the desert is beautiful.

“Zack,” Cloud’s voice is soft, floats to him like a caress, “I can hear you repeating.”

Ah, from their connection? Or just because Cloud can read him so well?

“Sorry, late-night thoughts.” He risks squeezing Cloud’s waist a bit tighter. Risks half a lie too.

“If I tell you the truth, will you stop worrying?”

Probably not, but it’ll settle his nerves that hate when Cloud is too stubborn to admit he needs help. Zack presses closer and brushes Cloud’s ear with his lips as an answer.

Cloud’s quiet in his thoughts for a moment, probably trying to decide how much he should tell him.

“I…I’m not good. Think I’ll blackout if I stop driving.”

Zack had braced himself, but it still hurt to hear, his heart flutters fast and painful. He swallows thickly. Yeah, he’s still worried out of his mind.

“We’ll be there soon; if you can’t hold on that long it’s okay.” Zack finally says.

It’s not okay that Cloud’s hurt so bad, but Zack’s been ready the whole ride to take over. He knows Cloud is fighting it out of guilt. He’s not sure how to break him of that habit either. They drive on in silence for a while.

As they finish climbing a cliffside, the sky starts to turn lighter blue, faint oranges and pinks as sunrise is almost upon them. It brings a humming of a helicopter, coming slow at them from straight on. It’s hard not to tense up; they both do, even though they know its Avalanche.

Zack can see the logo already. The chopper passes them and does a wide turn around, slows down as they come back up on their right side. Biggs and Jessie are sliding the side door open as the chopper lowers to shouting distance.

“Holy, you guys are cruising! Thought you’d be further out, you’re almost there,” Jessie’s giving them a thumbs up and a tired smile.

“There’s a fork in the road about ten miles up,” Biggs yells down at them, “take the left to get to Kalm.”

Cloud nods at them, so stiffly he doubts they even saw. Zack gives them a wave instead, so they at least don’t feel ignored.

“We’re going back to Midgar, gotta pick up Marlene and a few avalanche things,” Jessie says.

Going back, that’s dangerous, so soon. It hasn’t even been half a day, seven hours maybe.

“Be careful.” He shouts over the noise, the chopper is already starting to pull up.

“Don’t worry!” Biggs is pulling Jessie back in, she’s been leaning too far out the door, “We’ll be in and out. See you in the morning.”

“It _is_ morning,” Cloud says as the chopper’s hovering quiets to a small hum fading in the distance. Zack sits back and watches it head south until it’s a tiny black dot in the quickly fading night sky. He re-plasters himself against Cloud. Now he’s worried about Jessie and Biggs too. Zack sighs, hugs Cloud tight.

They come upon the fork fast, Cloud only slowed down from his 250 speed coming up the steep cliffside. The left takes them a bit more north, on weaving roads that stretch out over hills that get steeper and then shallow out. Large rock formations start popping up around them, catching the rising sun in spots so bright, looks like the red rock is glowing.

There’s a very large hill that pulls their stomachs down as they come back up from it, makes Zack laugh, he feels Cloud’s cheeks bunch in a smile against his own face. Over the hill, the horizon changes, a hazy mountain range appears from out of nowhere, rising high and cutting the rising sun into thick sun rays.

Cloud inhales, Zack feels it against his own body more than hears it.

That’s right; Cloud’s a mountain town kid. Gongaga had hills and steep areas, but it isn’t surrounded by an entire mountain range like Nibelheim is. Zack can’t tell if that was a good inhale or not.

“Pretty, huh?” It is, even if it brings bad memories. The mountains are cut in nice shapes, dark blue-ish green from the forests covering them. Refreshing to see real greenery.

“Yeah…” Cloud’s sigh pulls a longing from his body. A very good inhale then.

Zack feels the wave of comfort and nostalgia overtake him, stronger as the road evens out and the mountains start to surround them. Zack’s chest constricts, he’s never seen this soft happiness radiating from Cloud. Feeling it….

Zack smiles into the back of Cloud’s shoulder. All just from a mountain range. Damn, they ever get to settle down somewhere safe, Zack’s going to make sure it’s near mountains, with huge windows so Cloud can just stare at them all day.

The town appears just as suddenly as the mountains. It’s small, but even from here; Zack can see its well-taken care of. There’s a very obvious line where the earth is dying and where the lifestream still flows. Most of the town is all red rock and dust like the miles of desert around it, but at the back, a line of trees, starting the forest that goes deep and rolls over the mountains behind.

Skies all golden and the only a few stars are still visible as they roll into town. They don’t have to drive far, just a few minutes into the buildings and Zack spots Tifa and Aerith sitting outside on the wooden curbside of a cozy looking inn. Cloud tries to keep the engine revving to a minimum, so as not to wake everyone in this tiny little town. The girls are waving and standing when they spot them.

Tifa and Aerith jog toward them as Cloud parks; they have wide smiles on their faces.

“Cloud, Zack!” Aerith certainly doesn’t care about being loud, she’s shouting even so close to them. It makes him laugh.

Zack slides off the bike, his thighs happy to be standing once again. He waits for Cloud to turn off the bike and pull himself up. He hovers right next to him. True to his words, the moment Cloud’s standing, he sways, winces in pain, and just collapses against Zack. Zack’s got his arms around him before he even can fall too far, probably looks like he just went in for a hug. He doesn’t panic, worries sure, but Cloud had told him. Zack can’t expect Cloud to bounce back, not after all that. He dips his knees, picking Cloud up completely and cradling him against his chest.

Tifa and Aerith are giving him very concerned faces.

“Hey,” Zack smiles at them, “it’s okay, he’s just exhausted.”

They both nod, but their expressions don’t change.

“Need a healing boost?” Aerith moves, looking like she’s pulling her mana to her hands already.

“Nah, I've got it. You guys got rooms?”

Tifa nods, waves a hand to follow her. The girls lead him up the staircase, around the side of the inn. It’s much larger coming around the side. Still looks nice and welcoming, all soft wood and neutral tones.

“When did you guys get here?” he asks, shifts Cloud in his grip.

“Around midnight,” Aerith keeps glancing at Cloud with guilty eyes. Zack’s gotta ask about that. She’s carrying a lot of guilt that seems misplaced.

“Awhile then,” he says, “you guys haven’t slept huh?” He doesn’t really have to ask, he can see the darker circles under their eyes and the slightly pale complexion of staying up too long.

“With you two all by yourselves out there?” Tifa gives him a look, starts a warmth in his chest.

They had to get settled. Find rooms for everyone, make sure they were all good. With Jessie and Biggs heading back, he’s sure they had a meeting too. Zack’s a little surprised a small town like this is fine with a rebellion group landing its chopper.

Course, a lot of small towns aren’t too happy with ShinRa either.

Tifa brings him to the end of the long walkway on the second floor, stops outside a thick wooden door with crooked numbers 304 on it.

“We’re right next door with Red, and Barret and the others are just two rooms down from ours.” Tifa’s opening the door for Zack, stepping aside so he can turn and fit Cloud through the doorway.

It’s simple, but it’s all earth tones that are calming and there’s a giant bed in the corner, lots of pillows and blankets. Zack feels his whole body ache just looking at it. Looks so _soft._

“We got stuff for you guys, if you want to clean up,” Aerith says, eyes still on Cloud.

“Leave your clothes out here; we’ll take them for laundry. We’ve still got to do ours.” Tifa gestures at herself. Her white top is pretty stained with rusty dried blood spots and dirt.

Actually looking at the both of them, they look _really_ roughed up still, Aerith’s braid is even falling out of her bow. They really did just stay up and wait for them. Zack’s got that warmth again. The three of them kind of just stare at each other. The heaviness of everything that’s happened not yet settling into reality.

A groan from Cloud snaps all three of them from their daze, they all laugh weakly.

“Okay, we’ll be back. Leave your clothes; I don’t wanna walk in on you two.” Aerith points an accusing finger at Zack.

Zack gives her a laugh, but there’s no way Cloud’s up for sex, probably not for a while too. He doesn’t wait for them to leave to head into the bathroom. He’s surprised when he walks in, it’s huge. There’s a massive bathtub that will fit him and Cloud together with room. The girls have put soap, shampoo, and anything else they could need on the sink counter. He chuckles at the bath salts and candles.

“Oh my god,” shakes his head when he notices the lube, it’s hidden a bit behind everything else. Aerith’s even put a stupid little smiley face on a piece of paper under it, with a stupid winky eye. He laughs about it for a few minutes.

It’s pretty easy for him to undress them and start the bathwater; he’s done it enough times in the last year. Maneuvering with Cloud in his arms isn’t a challenge anymore. He sits Cloud in the bathtub before dropping their very blood and JENOVA stained clothes outside the bathroom door.

It’s the painful part next. Taking note of all the injuries on Cloud. His restraint marks have faded, but still, a ring of greenish bruises stain his skin at his wrists and his ankles. The ones from the bands that held him across the shoulders are still a deeper purple, but it looks better than it did. There are still faint scorch marks from his fight with Reno on the plate. The worst of his injuries look horrific. A massive bruise at his side, where Hojo had shoved that shocking rod. It’s swollen and just starting to deepen in color. It’s going to look much worse tomorrow. His left wrist looks really swollen too, now that Zack is getting a good look at him. He’ll have to see if it’s broken or not. His track marks don’t look too good either, but at least none of them seem infected.

Zack wishes he knew what Hojo had injected in him.

The JENOVA injuries are the newest and only starting to set in. Weird stripy bruises where the tentacle arm had wrapped tightly around his torso. Circles all the way around his back and across his stomach. His neck’s got a darkening line on it too, even a bit of burn scabs, from the black liquid? Zack doesn’t want to think about what Cloud would look like without Aerith’s healing and cleansing spells. Without their own weird body sharing-healing thing.

All the grime and dried blood probably are making him look even worse. He still feels like shit about it. Cloud's just so...hurt.

The water is a few inches from the top of the tub, so he turns it off, grabs a few small towels for wash clothes and the soap and shampoo. Carefully he slides Cloud forward and steps in behind him, the water rises almost over the top of the tub. Oops, a little too much water.

It’s just shy of too hot, but it’ll cool quickly. He pulls Cloud against him, more on his side so Zack can get at the grime and blood.

Cloud’s groaning into his neck the moment he starts wiping off the blood from his neck and face.

“You awake there Spikes?” Zack can’t bring his voice louder than a whisper.

He gets the lash fluttering and the pretty eyes, even a slight lip twitch of a smile. Zack scrubs at his own blood that has dried on Cloud’s cheek.

“Mm, ‘issed a spot.” Cloud slurs at him, reaches up with a wet hand, and lazily presses Zack’s jaw. His fingers come away red. Right, Zack forgot he had a pretty massive nosebleed. He probably actually looks pretty horrifying too.

Cloud drifts in and out the whole time. He stays awake when Zack pushes him to sit up so he can wash out his hair. Hums at Zack, laughs quietly and short when he dumps water over his head. Zack doesn’t spend much time washing himself up, makes sure to get all the blood off, and a quick shampoo through his hair. The water’s getting lukewarm and Cloud’s really starting to fall asleep against him.

“Wait, come on, dry off first.”

Cloud doesn’t help at all, just leans against him and when Zack tries to walk him out of the bathroom he just presses all his weight on him. He feels the smile against his skin; Cloud thinks he’s being cute.

Too bad for Zack, cause he totally is.

He manages to get him out of the bathroom and into freshly clean boxer briefs (Tifa or Aerith were sweet enough to clean their clothes first, folded and warm, sitting neatly on the chair by the far corner.) before crashing into the softest mattress Zack has ever touched.

Carefully, Zack settles back into the massive pile of pillows. He’s more sitting up than laying down, but it’s more comfortable for Cloud this way. Gently moves him around until he’s cuddled up on Zack’s chest, flat on his stomach and face pressed into Zack’s neck. He’s already asleep again. Sinks into Zack’s body even more when he pulls the covers over them.

Zack spends maybe ten minutes brushing his knuckles over Cloud’s arm before his own exhaustion wins out.

***

Zack wakes when it’s dark outside. They’ve slept all day. There’s no sound but the soft wind in the forest north of the town. He forgets how much noise there is in the city. It’s colder here too, more north and so close to the mountains. He feels the cool air when he shifts, some of the warmth from their bodies escaping from the moving covers.

Cloud is still in the same spot, curled in on his side instead of his stomach, but still pressed in close. He shifts a bit more and reaches up from the covers to drag his fingers across Cloud’s cheek.

It’s a small shock to see his hand covered in glittery green veins. His heart starts beating quickly. He doesn’t feel any drowsiness or cooling sensation that suggests his advanced healing is activated. At the risk of waking Cloud to the cold, he pulls the covers off them.

Cloud immediately curls in with an annoyed groan, his body breaks out in goosebumps. He’s also covered in shimmering veins. So is Zack. Their whole bodies, every weighted spot they are touching together has a more concentrated cluster of veins, making little green glow spots all over them. Has this been happening the whole time they’ve been sleeping?

Unlike at ShinRa HQ, the healing seems to be working permanently this time. Scorch marks have disappeared and the restraint markings are hardly detectable. All his injection sites are gone. JENOVA wounds are still there, but they look less harsh. The green veins over those are more shimmery than the other spots.

Why now and not before? When Cloud was suffering so much all at once. Something Zack did?

The faucet in the bathroom turning on makes Zack jump. Someone else is in here? He looks around, spots Aerith’s red jacket over the chair in the corner. She’s quietly walking back into the room a few seconds later.

“Oh! You’re awake.” She whispers, a smile on her lips, “Oh Zack, he looks so much better already.”

She’s sitting down at the end of the bed, perched on the edge of the mattress. She looks younger without her jacket on, just in her summer dress.

“Aren’t you cold?”

She laughs, “Not really. I’ve been patching everyone up all day. I think all the extra ethers I’ve been taking are overheating me.”

“You should go rest then,” Zack hopes she hasn’t been boosting their healing. Seems to be working just fine now.

She brings one leg up and bends it toward her, holding her ankle, “I’m on SOLDIER babysitting duty.”

Zack laughs a little too loudly, Cloud’s frowning and swats at his chest weakly.

“Babysitting? We’ve just been out cold.”

“You have,” she smirks at him, “you didn’t even twitch when Tifa and I had pizza in here.”

Oh man, he missed out on _pizza._ Rude. Also, awesome there’s pizza in this tiny town.

Cloud shivers and twists, hides his face more in Zack’s neck. Right, probably should cover him again.

Aerith’s already moving and covering them back up, “So mean, Zack, he’s cold.”

He laughs, “Just wanted to check.” Sobering quickly, “it’s working this time.”

“Yeah, I’ve been thinking about that.” Aerith says, “Maybe it’s cause you were running on no energy.”

Maybe…how could he give energy to Cloud if he didn’t have any for himself? He didn’t think he’d been that out of it, but…maybe the stress blocked the healing from working all the way.

“-or the length of time,” Aerith offers at his disbelief, “think about it, you’re offering him your healing abilities. How long does it take for your body to heal?”

That makes more sense to him. Small cuts seconds, but fatal wounds? Deep ones? At least hours to a few days, depending on how bad. He supposes that’s right. Cloud had just been getting beaten over and over, with what - a few minutes of healing contact at the most? Zack must have just been getting him by, keeping him from succumbing to his injuries.

“Yeah, it’s not like potions.” He says, hugs Cloud tight.

“Right, or spells, they get the job done fast.”

He feels better. At least he knows he can actually help Cloud and not just failing at doing so. He threads his fingers through Cloud’s hair and relaxes more into the pillows.

Aerith pats the covers over his leg, “chin up buttercup, you’re doing just fine.”

“Buttercup huh?” He laughs.

She grins widely, “See, now you know what you sound like.”

She gets his laugh again.

“Get some more rest, my time is almost up and I don’t want to have to stay longer cause you’re causing trouble.”

“Ouch, Aerith, don’t you love me anymore?” He’s joking, but she goes all loose and soft-eyed.

Pats his leg again, “of course I do,” she says.

Damn. Too many warm feelings in his chest are going to make him soft.

Puts him back to sleep before Aerith’s even standing from the corner of the bed.

***

The sunlight wakes him this time. A bright thin ray peeking in through the window blinds. It’s falling over Cloud’s hair, bleaching it almost white in contrast to the darkroom. Makes it feel warmer then it is under the covers.

Zack’s more awake this time, finally feeling well-rested and clear-minded. It’s just the two of them, he hears no one and it feels still early, maybe just after sunrise. He doesn’t really want to move, Cloud’s a comfortable weight on him. He’s the most relaxed Zack has seen him in a long time. No tension in his body, no pain lines on his face. All soft lips and easy breaths. He sighs, Zack’s bladder won’t really let him stay and cuddle with Cloud, so he slowly rolls him, placing him on his other side to curl up.

All the healing veins have vanished from both of them.

Zack uses the bathroom and brushes his teeth with the toothpaste and brush Aerith and Tifa had gotten for them. He had to dig it out in the pile of things still on the counter. He tries not to glance at the lube, it’ll just make him uncomfortable and he’s not about to go wake Cloud up just so they can fuck.

Even if he is all healed, Cloud deserves some rest; he’s got to be mentally exhausted too. Zack knows he is still a little.

He checks Cloud over to see if he really _has_ healed completely. Zack’s guessing they shared healing the whole night, he looks good. Cloud shivers again when he moves the covers, but the sight of his more uniformed color skin pushes away Zack’s twinge of guilt. Almost all his bruises are gone. Just his side is a bit green and brown still, right under his rib cage. Everything else has disappeared. Zack is careful, slips his palm under Cloud’s left wrist. It’s not swollen or red at all, no bruising. If it was broken, seems better. Zack has to laugh at himself, his vision blurs with tears. He’s ridiculous, getting emotional over Cloud healing so quickly.

 _Fuck,_ he really loves him. So much feels like he’s drowning at times.

He covers Cloud back up, presses the softest kiss on his temple, and gets dressed. He doesn’t bother with his armor or his buster. If they weren’t safe here, they’d be on the run already. He needs to get some more things other than personal cleaning supplies and lube (okay, he’s going to stock up on the lube, but that’s beside the point) and he’s starving. His stomach growls loudly right after he realizes it.

He feels bad leaving Cloud alone, but he’s not planning on being out long, just a quick look around town.

He’s leaving the room just as Tifa is coming out next door.

“Hey,” She smiles brightly at him, “you’re awake. Aerith said you woke up last night for a bit.”

“Morning,” It’s about all he can manage. He needs so much food, right this minute.

Tifa laughs, even harder when his stomach growls loudly again.

“Wanna come get some food? I was meeting Aerith at this little place down the street.”

He wants too, but he should probably get something to take back to the room.

“Cloud’s still asleep.” He says, as if that’s really an answer for her.

She gets it anyway, all soft smiles and understanding pointing his way.

“How bout we bring something back here then? I’m sure Cloud will be hungry when he wakes up too.”

Man, he really likes this group he’s fallen in with. He smiles brightly at Tifa, drapes an arm around her shoulders as they walk down the hall. She laughs at him again and settles her own toned arm on his waist, squeezes a little too.

“I’m glad you feel better. How’s Cloud?”

“Good, he looks good. But…”

Tifa’s shoulders hunch down with sadness, “yeah, he’s been having a rough time.”

That’s an understatement. His body’s mostly healed, but there is so much they have to talk about. Not even counting just the two of them. He’s been promised a secret telling session, he’s done hanging in the dark. Aerith owes him at least some answers.

One thing at a time though, and the first one is food. So much of it.

Tifa leads him down the street to a small little building. Aerith’s rocking back and forth on her heels as she waits. Breaks out in a big smile as she sees them. She goes right in for a hug from him.

“Zack, good morning,” it’s muffled in his shirt; he wraps his arms around her slender shoulders tightly in return. Rocks her side to side too.

He just loves everyone so much right now, probably all the endorphins from too much sleep and crashing the hardest burnout he's ever had. Too much stress and adrenaline. It’s gotta balance out somehow.

“Guessing change of plans?” She asks, pulling away and eyeing both of them.

“You bet, there’s a market that looks open already. Omelets in the boys' room?” Tifa suggests.

What, they are going to cook? How? He gets laughed at for his confused nose scrunch.

“Zack, there’s mini kitchens in the rooms, it’s even stocked with cooking equipment, didn’t you notice?”

No, not really. He’s been staring at Cloud and only Cloud any time he’s awake. They keep laughing at him, even as each of them takes one of his arms and drag him further from the inn.

In the market, they ditch him for each other, linking elbows and shoving a red basket at him. He trails along behind them contently, thoughts full of Cloud all warm and soft in bed. For a small town, they have a lot, probably because they are so close to Midgar, easy to get supplies out this way. There’s an apothecary inside the market. Zack makes them stop so he can buy ethers, ginger remedies for Cloud, and yeah, more lube. He also ignores them when they tease him about it. He can’t help it, he can’t even stop thinking about how attractive Cloud is when they are in actual _mortal peril_ , how’s he supposed to when there’s nothing to distract him.

Cloud’s gorgeous. And adorable and so fucking _sexy_ , okay…he needs an actual distraction.

“Come on,” Aerith sing-songs at him, “I thought you were hungry.”

Yeah, that’ll work. Foods a pretty good distraction. Aerith and Tifa fill the basket quickly, more food then they need, but Zack’s good with that. He could still eat it all by himself. They splurge on some smoked bacon, spices for the eggs (Zack makes them get extra hot ones), and some doughnuts at the little in-store bakery.

The sun doesn’t really chase away the chill when they leave the market, so they hurry along back to the inn. Quieting their steps as they walk in. Turns out it isn’t really needed; Jessie is there, pulled a chair to the bed, leaning over and laying her head on her arms, chatting away at a barely awake Cloud.

He’s sitting up against the pillows and slowly blinking down at Jessie.

“Damn, Jes, let him wake up a bit.” Tifa teases.

Zack thinks he’s actually high on healing hormones. The slow drag of his gaze is pretty telling. Even more so when Cloud’s whole body lights up and he’s beaming his three AM smile at Zack, with all three of the girls in the room. Almost like he doesn’t notice them, just zeros in on Zack. His heart thuds hard.

“Oh geez,” Jessie says, sitting up, “If that’s not the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.”

Zack kind of zeros in on him too. Shoves his grocery bag in Tifa’s now empty arms and just makes a beeline for Cloud. He looks so _good_. So much better, color back in his skin. Cloud’s already reaching his neck up and closing his eyes, meeting Zack’s lips halfway. It’s amazing; he’ll never get tired of kissing him, touching him. Every second he’s away from Cloud and comes back to him, feels like weeks apart. It’s probably not healthy, but it’s hard to care when Cloud’s sighing against his lips like he’s his life force.

He hears the girl’s hushed giggles and shuffling of the grocery bags. Tries not to get too inappropriate, keeps his hands on Cloud’s jaw, only sinks down onto his knee instead of enveloping Cloud on the mattress. Pulls away before either of them deepens their kissing.

So stupid, Zack feels his eyes burning again. Too emotional. He can’t pull away from him completely, knocks their foreheads together, and just breathes him in.

“Hi,” Cloud says to him.

Zack laughs through his dumb misty eyes and kisses him again.

“Hey beautiful,” he keeps his voice down. Cloud’s so shy about the nicknames still. Probably always will be, “how you feeling?”

Cloud just hums against him, cuddling down into the crook of his neck. High on something, that’s for sure. Cloud’s not this open, not this soft around others. Saves it just for him usually. He can already see all the embarrassment when he realizes the girls are here.

When Zack manages to pull himself away from Cloud (not really, Cloud’s pouting at him and follows his body), he’s met with three grinning faces and sparkling eyes ready for teasing.

“Do not start,” he says, their grins are infectious though, he’s already mirroring them and he has to roll his eyes as they start cooing at him anyway. He resettles, pulling Cloud against him. He’s already drifting back into a half-sleep daze.

Just for that Zack doesn’t help with breakfast, lets the three of them crash into each other, and rush about the tiny kitchen that is in fact tucked away in the corner of the room. He really had not noticed. Jessie gets banned halfway through and she just shrugs like it was her goal all along to get out of helping. She grabs something from the table and bounces onto the bed next to Zack and Cloud.

“Not to bring the mood down, but I thought you’d want to see this.” Jessie hands him a ShinRa datapad, “I forgot I swiped it…it’s notes, on you two.”

It does sober him a bit. His heart races. _Hojo’s notes._ Does he really want to read it? Sephiroth went insane reading Hojo’s reports.

He wants to know. This half figuring it out himself and stumbling around in the dark isn’t going to keep working for long.

Jessie pats his forearm, “wait till after you eat,” she says.

He does. Sits and chats with Jessie about her and Biggs doing flybys to Midgar all day yesterday. About picking up Marlene for Barret. She tells him Midgar’s in a weird lockdown-stand by curfew. Probably has to do with Rufus taking over, he’s always had…different priorities than his father. It’s why he was kept away from headquarters. Zack’s not a fan of either of them.

When breakfast is ready, Zack wakes Cloud from his dozing. He’s a little less dopey, eyes widening when he sees Jessie, Aerith, and Tifa are there. Zack tries not to laugh at his embarrassed head dip. He's uncomfortable enough that he pulls away from Zack, but their thighs still touch as they eat, too lazy to bother getting up to sit at the table. It’s too small anyway; they let the girls eat there.

Tifa's made his omelet extra, extra spicy, but he notices she's just salted Cloud's and stuck half a doughnut on his plate too. He doesn't miss the way his ears get a little pink, as much as Cloud tries to hide it from him. He's ducking his head and keeping his eyes low so much it's reminding him of when he was a cadet. Cute.

The girls clean up for him too, let Cloud and him cuddle together. He's less shy now that he ate a large meal, probably just getting tired again. The girls leave soon after they finish tidying up, silently cooing at Zack as they go; Jessie eyes him and whispers they will be back for dinner.

Cloud easily falls into food-induced sleep just as the door clicks shut.

Leaves Zack in the silence with the datapad.

“What do you think, Cloudy-Sky, wanna learn something that makes us crazy too?”

He gets no reply, still asleep then.

He turns the datapad on. It beeps ominously at him. He starts at the beginning, first files dated years ago.

 _Project Reunion_. This is more than just about him and Cloud. Zack feels his heart pounding.

Some of it is familiar, nonsense that Genesis was spewing and things Angeal had hinted at. Just…more _scientific._

He knows this already, the G-cells and S-cells. Both modified JENOVA DNA that’s put into SOLDIERS. The main difference, Sephiroth’s didn’t degrade him. Zack’s never understood why, but right here, Hojo’s admitting to his more horrifying acts of experimentation.

He grew Sephiroth…infused his fetus stage with JENOVA DNA. How could anyone do that to an unborn baby? Who would _let_ Hojo do that to their own child?

Zack reads the notes briefly, only getting the main difference is that Sephiroth accepted JENOVA cells only because he wasn’t finished growing as a person, changed his DNA before it was solidified into just human and into something…other, whatever he is now. While Genesis and Angeal were injected after they were born.

It’s hard not to feel a little bad. Zack remembers the Sephiroth he knew, a little cold at times. He’d been more kind and patient then Genesis ever was, even Angeal at times. Reminds him of Cloud…

The thought hollows out his chest. Leaves him lost and empty.

He skips the next few files; he can’t read more about Angeal right now. Still is too raw for him.

He clicks into the Reunion files dated after Nibelheim. They reflect what Hojo kept muttering about. Injected him and Cloud with Sephiroth’s cells. The amount of test subjects Hojo lists in this file…so many, _too many._ All of them injected with S-cells. That guy, Zack’s chest constricts, the one in the presidential office after they had killed off the JENOVA creature. That guy with the tattoo on his arm. He was just a husk. He’s one of the failed subjects of Reunion? How come he and Cloud didn’t end up like that?

Hojo’s notes go on to list that Project Reunion failed, as Sephiroth’s cells turned back into full JENOVA cells. How is that possible? Genesis had raved at the end there, about finding pure S-cells to stop his degrading. That’s why he’d wanted Cloud…

Zack glances at him, he’s still asleep. All of this is putting weird thoughts in his head. Just thinking about JENOVA, any part of it, being in their bodies. He better hurry up and finish reading.

The newest files are on them.

There are fewer notes on Cloud then him, so he starts there.

 **-Subject CS** -NIBELHEIM LABS

-S-cells injected.

-Weak-willed to mako.

- **UPDATED:**

-Susceptible to JENOVA control. Result of weak-mind.

Zack snorts, weak-minded? He wouldn’t call Cloud that. Maybe lacking some confidence, but _weak-minded_. He’s the most stubborn person he’s ever met.

- **UPDATED:** MIDGAR LABS

-Remarkably resistant to mako now, cells mutated to accept the abundance of mako.

-Injected with more S-cells.

-Injected with G-cells.

-Injected with pure JENOVA DNA-infection present.

- **12 HOUR UPDATE:**

-Newly injected S-cells and G-cells all reverted back to JENOVA.

-JENOVA DNA still present, infection terminated, however. Result of mako mutation?

**-24 HOUR UPDATE:**

-S-cells and G-cells reverted back to JENOVA cells-terminated. No longer present, why?

-PURE JENOVA DNA still present-oddity found-mutations happening on a base level.

-Slow conversion found on JENOVA DNA. Unknown cause.

**-2 HR UPDATE:**

-JENOVA DNA conversion cause found.

-ZF mutated JENOVA Cells present. Converting JENOVA DNA to own mutated version.

-Transferred sexually, blood contaminated-other bodily fluids.

-Subject accepts ZF-cells-evidence of merging with own human cells. Why?

-Susceptible to ZF-cells control.

Yeah…Zack’s going to have a hard time not thinking about that the next time he and Cloud have sex. If what he’s thinking is right... shit, Zack feels a little scummy. He huffs, clicks into his own file.

 **-Subject SOLDIER ZF** -NIBELHEIM LABS

-Resistant to S-cells.

-Resistant to G-cells.

-Resistant to JENOVA control.

-Resistant to mako, SOLDIER program effective.

 **-UPDATED:** MIDGAR LABS:

-S-cells not present.

-G-cells not present.

-JENOVA not present.

-Injected with PURE JENOVA DNA

-Injected with S-cells and G-cells.

**-12 HR UPDATE:**

-S-cells regenerated back to JENOVA cells.

-PURE JENOVA DNA shows odd behavior.

-G-cells regenerated back to JENOVA cells.

**-24 HR UPDATE:**

-Newly injected S-cells terminated.

-Newly injected G-cells terminated.

-Newly injected PURE JENOVA DNA-mutating.

-Old JENOVA DNA-converted due to mutation.

**-2 HR UPDATE:**

-Newly injected PURE JENOVA DNA-mutated.

-New type of JENOVA cells. A pure conversion with human and JENOVA DNA.

-NAME: ZF-cells.

-No JENOVA control

-Shows less than 30% JENOVA DNA in cellular makeup.

-Effective in overpowering JENOVA DNA.

-Long term exposure-JENOVA DNA destroyed. Replaced with ZF-cells.

-Overall Analysis: less than 20% JENOVA still detected in SOLDIER Zack Fair.

-Possible control over his own ZF-cells in other subjects.

-Absorbs perks of JENOVA DNA-destroys the rest.

Zack feels numb. So what, his body just rejects JENOVA DNA, overrides it? He doesn’t like the part about control over test subjects with his own weird mutated cells. That’s what his connection with Cloud must be. He’s connecting to his own cells inside Cloud. Right? He thinks he understands now, but, he doesn’t feel any better.

Except for one thing. How come Sephiroth can still control Cloud? If all his cells revert back to JENOVA.

Can Sephiroth control JENOVA cells?

A hard thump of anxiety hits his heart.

Is that why, Sephiroth is having a harder time with him? Because his own cells have less and less JENOVA DNA. While Cloud is sensitive to JENOVA. How’d Sephiroth learn that? He’s dead. How… _ugh._

This doesn’t really answer anything; just makes Zack feel like shit.

But…if his own mutated cells are in Cloud. Does that mean, eventually, Sephiroth won’t be able to gain control of him either? Hojo’s report says his own cells eventually destroy JENOVA DNA. That would break the connection Cloud has with Sephiroth then right?

This is why he went into the SOLDIER program; too much science hurts his brain.

“Zack?”

Cloud’s voice is low, shakes Zack from his thoughts. Sounds like he’s called him multiple times. Concern is swimming in his eyes when Zack looks over at him. He looks so sweet. Zack swallows.

“You okay?” Cloud asks, now that he’s got Zack’s attention.

Fuck it, he’ll let his brain sit on all that information; revisit it later, when it’s not so new. Besides, Cloud’s looking real good biting his lip at him and sending him waves of worry. He surges forward, kisses him, clanking their teeth together. Cloud laughs into his mouth.

“I should be asking you that,” Zack says, not pulling far. After all that creepy shit he just read, he's needing to be real close to Cloud.

Cloud’s still all smiles at him. He shrugs, “I’m fine. Tired of sleeping.”

They have slept _a lot._

“Wanna go for a drive?” get out of the small room, away from everyone. It’ll be a good chance for them to talk about…all this weird shit going on with them.

Zack also really wants to get all up nice and close to Cloud on that sleek bike again. The way Cloud’s eyes spark up and then darken, he wants that too. Cloud washes up first, so Zack takes the chance to pocket some of that lube he bought and pops his materia out of his buster, he's not planning on taking it. Cloud is done under ten minutes, coming out of the bathroom in his clean turtleneck and SOLDIER trousers. Zack still finds it amusing they keep wandering around in the same clothes. Without the shoulder armor they really are just twining.

Cloud’s babying his wrist, brows narrowed.

“Wrist still hurts?” Zack asks, stepping up to him, looping his fingers through the belt loops on his pants.

“Mm,” he twists it a few times; Zack can hear it pop, “no.”

Not a lie, so maybe just a little tender. Zack yanks him by his belt loops to fall against him; Cloud has to go on his toes for Zack to get the kiss he wants.

“Want me to drive?”

Oh, that’s a _mean_ look; Cloud’s daring him to even try, “No.”

It’s almost noon as they head out on the inn walkway and around the front of the building. The sky is clear and the sun high, but there’s still a small bite in the air. Cloud's shivering, but already is straddling the bike, giving Zack the most annoyed 'hurry the fuck up' face. They don’t bring their weapons or armor, might be a little risky considering there could be fiends wandering around, but Zack’s got his materia shoved deep in his pockets along with a few ethers. They all clank together a few times with the glass bottle of lube.

Cloud’s got the bike roaring before Zack’s even sliding in behind him. The way he’s caressing the handlebars with his hands, it’s making Zack a little jealous. Cloud’s gonna need to touch him like that, all smooth sliding and wrapping around the metal as if it was entrancing him. He waits for Cloud to shift around until he’s sliding down into driving position and pressing back into Zack’s lap.

“Hmm?” Cloud glances back at him, bites his lip at him.

Zack smirks, leans in flush on his back, arms tight on his waist, and presses their cheeks together, “Let’s go beautiful.”

He doesn’t get the blush he’s looking for, but Cloud still gives him a sweet shy smirk and flustered eye look away. He revs the engine and doesn’t even bother backing out; just wheel spins the bike around and zooms out onto the road. They leave the town in minutes and out into the desert terrain. The red rock is brighter in the daylight, all layers of orange and deep rust. It's dryer too, Cloud’s kicking up a lot of dust as they speed down the road coming into Kalm.

Not that it matters, it’s just them and the wind on the road. There’s nothing else out this way, so the fork in the road that takes them into town must go up into the mountains and out to the coast range. The only other road anyway is back toward Midgar and away from the mountains.

Zack can’t miss the wave of admiration coming from Cloud as they turn down the right road fork. They are graced with the mountain range’s hazy peeks after a few dips of hills. The road gets less dusty as they go and eventually they leave the red and orange rocks behind them, blasting into a forest of pines and oaks, green and teals surrounding them and giving them peeks through the trees of the ever closing in mountains.

The road becomes sharp turns, weaving back and forth quickly. It’s no problem for Cloud, the bike is like a second limb to him; he handles it with soft nudges and strong grips. Perfectly timed body leans and engine bursts when the road starts climbing. Smooth the whole way. It’s fucking sexy and Zack almost gives himself aneurysm thinking about Cloud on the bike, in that fucking navy dress and dark eyeliner too. He shifts around, doesn't want to get too uncomfortable.

They ride for a long time, eventually smoothing out the climb and the road opens up into a wide break in the trees. Cloud slows up the second the view comes around the corner. He pulls off onto the wide-open side of the mountain. It’s almost a flat field, looking out into the first valley between this mountain range and the coast range. Mountain peaks filled with pine trees and deep colors surround them. Just beyond, the faintest trace of the ocean. There’s a bit of a breeze from the break in the forest, gently swaying the tall grass at their feet and the leaves and pine needles. Cloud cuts the bike and the leaves wrestling together fills their ears. Cloud’s breathing deeply with the rushing of the wind. He fits well among the trees and the mountains. Zack can feel a calm settling in him that’s never been there.

He wasn’t joking about the bike being a huge turn on, but seeing Cloud like this, soft and relaxed, his hair swaying in time with the trees, he’s never wanted Cloud more.

That wave of warmth, of love overwhelms Zack and he’s sure it’s projecting into their connection. The second it bubbles in his chest, Cloud’s twisting around to stare at him with wide eyes and such vulnerability in his face, Zack just can’t hold back.

He’s not rough, that’s not what he wants to show Cloud. But he’s not being tender either, hard presses, needy and lust-filled touches. He’s all tongue, trying to just get _inside_ Cloud any way he can. Zack’s dragging their lips together in open mouth kisses for a long time. Hands working their way under Cloud’s shirt, tugging it up, skimming his ribs as he pushes the fabric up to his arms.

Cloud’s back is probably twisting too hard to reach Zack’s lips, but he doesn’t turn around all the way. He won’t let Zack pull away either to get his shirt off all the way, he’s just as needy for him as Zack is. Giving Zack back everything he’s getting.

Eventually, Zack can’t stand _not_ being inside Cloud. He breaks away, hands quickly sliding over Cloud’s hips, down the front of him, and unbuttoning his trousers. Gets the fabric of them and his underwear down around his thighs. It won’t go any lower, the bike seat is keeping that from happening. It’s fine, this is how Zack wants him, shirt pushed up, just barely grazing past his nipples, ass just exposed enough for Zack to untuck himself through his zipper and rub against him.

Cloud’s groaning, flowing down into his driving position as Zack’s tugging his hips back against him. He’s arching his back more than he needs too, reaching for the bike’s handles for leverage. Zack nearly comes, the curve of his back is obscene, all smooth skin and tight muscles working in his shoulders, his spine a pretty valley of skin and bone for him to trace with his fingers.

Cloud’s all stretched out and long lines, his head falling down to rest on the top metal curve of the bike, exposing the knots of his spine in his neck. Zack hooks his hands around Cloud’s hipbones and leans down to kiss at the back of his neck, wet kisses that make Cloud groan as the wind cools his saliva on his skin.

He reaches down and around with a hand, finding Cloud’s cock trapped against the leather of the bike seat. Zack lifts him just a bit to stroke him a few times as he licks the long line of his spine. Just enough to really get him hard, before shoving the dip in his back down onto the seat again, forcing his ass up and open for Zack.

Cloud’s hands are shaking against the handlebars, skin breaking out in goosebumps when the breeze picks up every now and then.

Zack only pulls back from Cloud’s radiating body heat to fish out the tube of lube, popping it open with his teeth and just dumps the whole thing over his thick cock. He doesn’t want this to be rough and just shy of pain/pleasure. No, he wants it to be _strong_ and _fast_ , but so good for Cloud that he gets those beautiful tears of too much and too sensitive.

Zack needs to break him apart. He doesn’t stretch him, just slicks up his entrance with the excess lube on his cock, and lines up good. He’s so slick with lube he should slide in no problem. One good strong thrust forward and he’s sliding all the way inside.

Cloud fucking keens, bares down against the leather seat, back arching beautifully and body line stretching out tightly even more all along the bike.

Zack has to breathe hard out his nose to refocus before he comes. So tight, Cloud’s always so _tight_ around him. He smooths his hands down Cloud’s back, spreading his fingers out on the expanse of his pale skin. He can’t move yet or this will be over too fast, just relishes in the wet and tight heat of Cloud’s body.

Cloud’s normally quiet moans get lost in his breathy gasps, out here in the wind and the mountains, nature takes them away completely with him facing away from Zack. If he wants to hear him, he’s got to have to make him scream. Zack’s cock jumps inside Cloud just thinking about it.

He shifts up just a bit, so he can get a good angle, rolls his hips a few times while he’s buried deep in Cloud before smoothly pulling out, almost all the way. Hovers a bit, enjoying the way the clean fresh air makes the heat of Cloud’s body even hotter. One last second to breathe in the pine smell and Zack slams back inside, a slick easy slide. A little faster his next thrust, faster, and then faster still until Zack’s plunging in deep and so strong Cloud’s whole body jerks with the force of it, sliding along the bike. He keeps his hands tight on Cloud’s hips so he can hold him where he wants him, get his own hips rolling down and up with his forceful thrusts.

Just the right angle that his cock curves up and in Cloud, rubbing against the spot inside him that makes him scream.

And screaming he is, all long, long content moans of pleasure, his breathlessness gone. He's being _so good_ for Zack, just taking his pounding hips, even pushes back against him. He’s loud and moaning deep raspy notes that hit low in Zack’s stomach, building the pressure in his body. Zack’s not going to last much longer. He pulls some mana into his muscles, so he can get his last couple of thrust extra fast and extra strong. Cloud’s already coming, the way he’s squeezing Zack so tight.

He throws the weight of his body into his last one, shoving inside Cloud as deep as he can get and coming so hard and fast there’s no way Cloud can’t feel him filling him.

Cloud’s still moaning, his whole body trembling harder than Zack’s seen. He leans over him, rests his head in between Cloud’s shoulder blades, and twitches his hips inside him until he completely softens. Cloud’s whimpering the whole time he does, fades into gasping for air when Zack finally pulls out.

He lifts Cloud’s hips, pulling his pants back up. Zack has to lean down all the way and gently whisper against his ear as pries his hands off the handlebars. Cloud’s still shaking and holding back small “ah’s” whenever Zack touches his body with too much pressure. He’s got those too sensitive tears drying on his face. Zack smiles into his temple, gently pulling Cloud up and back to lean against him. He shifts him so he can curl down a bit and lean his head back against Zack’s shoulder, exposing the line of his neck. This way Zack can curl down around him, wrap him in his arms and look down into his eyes.

They sit on the bike for a while, watching the trees in the distance and the sky move around the mountains. Just breathe together. Zack can’t stop focusing on the rush of contentment filling him. From Cloud, from himself, it’s hard to tell. It draws him to take Cloud’s hands in each of his own, tangle their fingers together, trace the veins by his knuckles. Cloud laughs quietly when he plays keep away a little too long and Zack huffs in fake annoyance, just traps their hands together in a strong grip.

Eventually straddling the bike becomes uncomfortable. So they crash down into the tall, soft grass out on the mountainside, exposing more of the mountain range to them, the trees pushed back more by the road. Zack has to wrestle Cloud down into his lap; he’s being a little shit and _still_ playing keep away. He traps him in his arms when he finally pulls him down. He keeps him sideways, so he can lean back against one of Zack’s bent knees, half facing Zack, half the mountains.

Cloud watches the mountains mostly and Zack watches him. He doesn’t bristle under Zack’s gaze, doesn’t even shy away from it. Their eyes catch when Zack’s stare is too heavy for Cloud to ignore. Every time, Zack pushes in for a tender kiss, getting a small, high, sensitive moan from Cloud until he breaks the kiss and goes back to watching the mountains. They play that game until the sun gets closer and closer to the mountains, Cloud's soft smile lasting longer on his lips every time.

Ugh, Zack loves him so much. Keeps biting his tongue about it though. The last little round of their kissing game brings a particularly strong wave in Zack.

He knows Cloud felt that one, watches his eyes widen and he jerks back to look up into Zack’s face, body getting a little tenser. He trembles. He’s not scared he’s…

Oh. That hurts Zack’s chest, clenches at his heart. Cloud thinks he’s _undeserving_. Feels a sharp stab of the emotion in his mind, keeps breaking his heart. Makes Zack a little mad too. Cloud’s shying away now, lowering his gaze.

“Nope, no way you, don’t hide from me,” Zack says, brings his hands up to cup his head tightly, presses in and kisses him short and sweetly, “I know you feel that, how do I make you believe it, huh?”

Cloud holds his gaze, but he looks so lost, deflates back against Zack’s knee.

“I don’t even know how I can…feel you…your,” he trails off and looks out at the mountains again.

This is…two different conversations mixing. Zack sighs, “I’m not letting you off the hook here.”

Cloud looks back at him, nerves making him swallow.

Zack is just going to go for it. That’s what has always worked out best for him.

“I love you.” Cloud inhales and looks as if he’s about to cry, “I fucking love you and I don’t care if you don’t get how, or why. It’s not going to stop me.”

That…comes out a bit more like a threat then a love confession, but it wins him a watery chuckle from Cloud. Zack kisses him again.

“I know how it works too…this connection thing between us. But I’m not doing these two conversations together, so what’s it gonna be Cloudy-Sky?”

He already knows. Cloud’s running scared. He can feel it, trying not to panic and hide.

“H-how…” he mumbles, shies away completely, head duck and everything. He thinks Zack’s mad at him for avoiding the feelings.

It’s okay though. Zack knows Cloud loves him too. That’s not the issue. He’s scared him, pushed him a little too far out of his comfort zone. They’ll get back to it. It’s all okay.

“It’s the JENOVA cells,” Zack says, reaching for Cloud’s chin, lifting his face to look at him again.

“JENOVA cells?” Cloud’s barely talking above a whisper. Yeah, Zack’s really scared him good.

“It’s…kinda complicated, but basically, at Nibelheim, Hojo injected us with JENOVA cells. Mine have mutated…into I dunno, something uniquely me and not JENOVA anymore, but also still JENOVA-”

Cloud’s looking at him like he’s a bit crazy. Zack _feels_ a little crazy.

“-Anyway, I guess JENOVA cells want to…be together? Drawn to each other, something like that. And cause you and I, you know, _share_ a lot of each other's DNA, mine that are all ‘mine only’, want to be together, even though they are inside of you. So, this connection thing happens.”

“Then, that’s how Sephiroth can…get in my head too? I’ve got his JENOVA cells too?”

Oof, this hurts to talk about more than he thought it would.

“Yeah…” Zack says. He’s not sure what to say to that, it’s true.

“It’s different Zack,” Cloud’s looking out at the mountains again, “I..I don’ feel what Sephiroth is feeling, I can’t get inside his head.”

“Think it’s cause you don’t want too, Cloudy-Sky. This headspace thing, the sharing abilities, all of it. I think it’s cause you accept me-”

“-because I lo-” Cloud’s eyes widen, he cuts himself off and freezes, close to tears.

“-Because you love me,” Zack says for him.

Running

Scared

Breaks his heart.

The sun’s setting, strong rays cutting through the mountains, Cloud’s all golden and glowing. The light makes him look soft and shimmers the tears in his eyes brighter. Zack’s not sure what past issue has made Cloud so afraid of feelings or feelings that someone can have for him, but he’s going to fix it. However long it takes, he doesn’t care. He’ll fix it.

“Look, I wanna try learning to control it better, but I’m not going to do anything without your consent. I think it’s stronger for you because it’s my cells in your body. I’m not going to force you into anything. That thing we did at Hojo’s lab, where I took over your body for your mana, I’m not doing that again. Ever.”

Cloud still won’t look up at him.

“Cloud.”

“Okay, “he finally looks at him. The tears are gone and he’s guarded, but not cold, “me too, I wanna learn.”

“Okay.”

“O-kay.”

Zack breathes out a laugh; he’s not sure where to go from here. Cloud’s not…uncomfortable, but he’s still spinning in his thoughts.

So Zack does what always works for him.

He kisses him, gets all in his space, nice and close. Traps him against his leg and just... kisses him. Gentle lip pulls, soft pressure to let Cloud know he’s not going anywhere. Zack doesn’t care how far he’s got to chase Cloud. If he wants him, he’ll chase after him for the rest of his life.

They push and pull at each other, lips pressing long and slippery. Never pulling away for too long, never letting the tingling pressure stop. It’s making Zack’s head spin and he can’t tell whose breath is whose anymore. He takes Cloud’s quiet noises with his tongue, his teeth, any way Cloud will give them to him. Until the sun’s gone from the horizon and the stars are bright above them. Zack shifts them, lays Cloud down in the cold grass, hovers over him, and stares at the stars reflecting in his glowy eyes.

It’s heavy on his tongue, his unsaid “I love you.” He wants to tell Cloud all the time now. He guesses the connection they have does it for him, Cloud gets all shy again, but his arms stay warm around Zack’s neck. Doesn’t hide as Zack leans down and slips his tongue into his mouth again.

He’s just got his hands unzipping Cloud’s fly when the soft crackling of fire burns warm in his head. It’s not static anymore, not when it’s Cloud in his mind.

The rush of emotions and sensation is a massive force, all at once, Cloud’s nerves, his lust, his already building pressure. Zack can feel all of it; feel how sensitive Cloud is, still, hours after they had fucked the first time. Every brush of their lips, Cloud’s spiking waves of pleasure that Zack’s pulling from him.

Zack’s body starts shaking with Cloud’s.

When he’s got their clothes enough out of the way, pushing Cloud’s legs apart and pressing inside his still slick entrance, it’s like an explosion.

Zack feels like his orgasm is already been pulled from him. It’s not a pinpoint feeling what Cloud feels, just a massive wave of pleasure and sensitivity that overtakes his whole body. Cloud’s shaking worse than he is below him, arching up from the grass, arms tight around Zack’s neck. Zack can barely hold himself up; his own arms are trembling so bad.

When he starts moving inside Cloud, steady hip rolls, Zack almost blacks out from the intensity. He’s just surrounded and pulled in by Cloud, only can see him, hear him, feel him.

“Ah-Z-ack.” Cloud’s falling apart under him.

He can’t keep himself up, it just feels too _good_ , collapses down on top of Cloud, hips rolling sporadically, deep in him.

Zack’s groaning too loudly, mind so far gone in his and Cloud’s pleasure, he’s only aware of Cloud’s little endearing moans getting stuck in his gasps. Close, they’re _so close_. A few sharp, hard hip rolls and they come together, Cloud arching up to him, Zack pressing down against him.

Zack’s sure he blacked out for a moment. Every nerve in his body is on fire, tingling with the force of Cloud’s orgasm, his own. Sensitive, he’s _so_ sensitive from it. Waves and waves of aftershocks, his and Cloud’s crashing together.

The night breeze brings him down from the heat, cooling his flushed skin, shaking him from his awesome fucked out haze. Zack’s never trembled so much, more of Cloud’s thing. Which he is, visibly shaking against Zack’s body. Curled and tucked into his chest. He’s whimpering in low tones, broken up and small. As Zack pulls out, it’s like another mini orgasm shoots through the both of them. Neither of them is even hard anymore, but a small, intense burst of pleasure spikes in them.

“F-fuck.” Zack can’t believe how wrecked he sounds.

He falls back down onto Cloud, tucking him more under him. He can’t stop shaking in the aftermath. Cloud’s pressing into his skin like he can get closer, sliding his hands up Zack’s back, circling his shoulders and clinging close. He tangles his shaking hands in Zack’s hair.

Cloud’s trying to soothe his shuddering. So damn _sweet._

It takes a long time before either of them come out of it completely, lungs finally settling.

This connection thing might not be so bad, pretty awesome for sex anyway. It’s the first clear thing Zack thinks as goosebumps break out on his skin and the cold grass shuffles in the breeze against them. He can move again, rolls off of Cloud onto the grass, he’s probably crushing him. Cloud follows him though, curls onto his side, eyes all glazed. He’s still out of it. Zack can’t deny him like this, or any other time really. Zack shifts onto his side, pulls Cloud closer to him, lets him use his bicep as a pillow.

Everything feels so far away, just the two of them in the mountains and under the starry sky. Zack wants to stay here forever, doesn’t want to look at all the pain waiting for them in the future, all the regrets in the past.

One day, Zack will make sure; this is all they have to think about. Each other and the fresh air.

Cloud comes back with a few heavy breaths, “whoa.”

It’s so cute, the amazed wide eyes Cloud’s looking at him with. It pushes a random urge to laugh from Zack. Laughs loudly, his body rolling with it, a little jittery and content all at the same time.

“Yeah,” Zack reaches up and brushes Cloud’s lips with his fingertips, “you’re so good to me, Beautiful.”

Cloud’s entire upper body goes with his eye roll, a shy, embarrassed smile spreading across his face as he avoids Zack’s gaze.

Makes Zack laugh even more.

And then Cloud’s stomach growls very loudly in the night.

Makes him laugh even harder, curl in closer to Cloud and nuzzle him until they are both laughing against each other.

It feels very late, but the moon is not even high in the sky yet and the night starts so early in the Fall, it's hard to tell if it is that late. They eventually move, re-adjust their clothes they never really took off, and Zack’s pulling mana into his hands to CLEANSE them. They are a hard mess.

And starving, Zack’s stomach is also yelling at him.

He lets Cloud take in the dark mountain range once more before gently pulling him over to the bike. They get on a bit slow. Cloud’s revving the engine, all dark and dangerous, echoing in the trees. Zack’s lust comes rushing back to him; he can feel himself getting half hard already. He scoots closer to Cloud on the seat, hands low on his hips.

“Zack,” A warning tone in Cloud’s voice, “N-o,”

Zack knows. Cloud’s body still shakes when he grazes a tender spot. He stays so sensitive for so long. Doesn’t stop him from flushing his front against Cloud’s back and wrapping him in a tight hug before he can lower into driving. Cloud pushes back against him, his little laugh almost a low giggle, it’s so soft and happy, he rocks forward with Zack’s forceful hug.

“Don’t think I’m not going to fuck you again on this thing,” Zack says against his cheek.

Cloud laughs again, elbows him so he can lower and grasp the handlebars, revs the bike once more, “Maybe tomorrow,” Glances back at him all sly eyes and smirking, “if you’re good.”

Zack mocks a gasp, has to grip onto Cloud’s waist hard as Cloud spins the wheels and zooms out from the grass. He presses close to him again as they zoom down the curving roads. They really fly down the mountain, even in the dark, mako eyes make it easy for them to see. Zack thinks Cloud’s enhanced vision is better than his, he’s confident and at ease, as they zip faster and faster. He’s pushing the bikes speed limit.

The sky opens up as they come out of the mountains and trees, haunting and beautiful, the arm of their galaxy spreading forever against the black. Zack likes it more than the mountains. He’ll have to drag Cloud out here for a night before they have to leave Kalm.

Zack knows they will soon. ShinRa only waits for so long.

They pull into town and park at the same spot outside the Inn just as Jessie, Biggs, and Wedge are trudging down the walkway and out to the corner. Jessie’s already wiggling her brows at them and smirking.

“That was a long ride you boys took,” She’s skipping over to them and crossing her arms on the bike and leaning in close to Cloud’s face, “didn’t have too much fun did you?”

Cloud leans back to move away from her, but Zack’s still sitting behind him so he can’t get far. He’s blushing more than he has in a while. Jessie laughs and freakin’ _bops_ him on the nose with a slender finger. Even makes the little ‘boop’ noise at him like he’s a puppy.

“Hungry then? There’s pizza here, wanna see if it’s any good? We’re just about to go.” She's spinning away before Cloud can punch her. Not that he would, but he's frowning so hard, seems a bit painful for his face.

“Oh fuck yeah,” Zack wants pizza. Terrible pizza is still pizza. He squeezes Cloud's waist once more to break his annoyance, before slipping off the bike.

Cloud turns the bike off and waits till they are a few steps ahead of him to get off and catch up. He’s still blushing to the roots of his hair. Zack doesn’t know what it is about pretty girls, but Cloud seems to react to them like a little kid with a giant crush. An _awkward_ little kid. He slings an arm around his shoulders as soon falls into step next to him.

“Better chill on all this blushing, Spikes. Jessie looks like she wants to bop you on the nose again-Ooof, ow, ow okay.”

Cloud’s still trying to elbow him off his shoulders while Biggs holds open the door to the pizza place for them. He's smirking at them the whole time.

There are only two workers, probably the owners, and one other local near the back. Zack’s surprised it’s open, but glancing at the clock tells him it’s not even nine yet. Damn, sunsets really early in Mountain Time.

Wedge and Biggs are squishing Jessie between them in a small booth table near the large window, she’s giggling, dramatically falling against Biggs when Wedge gives her a playful little shove. Zack lets Cloud slide next to the wall. He gets a strong urge to press him against the corner and kiss him hard. He doesn’t, presses his thigh flush against Cloud’s though.

They’re in civilization again, so Zack’s gotta resist hanging all over Cloud.

It’s probably the hardest thing he’s ever done. There’s something about this place, or maybe just the feeling of being safe for once. As Jessie orders three large pizzas, he caves a little, relaxes his whole side against Cloud.

He’s surprised and overwhelming pleased when Cloud slides his hand in his; somehow, like so many things he does, shyly. Zack won’t let him go, even when their pizza comes. They have to eat one-handed, too bad. He’s just the sweetest. Zack can’t stop the dumb smile on his face.

Pizza’s super bomb too.

***

Aerith crashes on the bed, her hair fanning out around her, in her face. She blows at it, but it just flops back over her nose instead out of her way. She should cut it, she’s got a feeling whatever comes next, long hair is going to be the most annoying thing. The _one_ thing to push her over the edge.

She’s being dramatic.

But also lazy.

“Ugh.”

Tifa’s laugh flows from the bathroom.

“Don’t laugh at me,” Aerith says, she’s got a dumb smile on anyway.

“Come on, Jessie said she’s not going to wait.”

But she still has to braid her hair. It’ll fly all over the place if she doesn’t put it up. Plus, she’ll end up accidentally sitting on it and yanking her own head back. Tifa wanders out into the room, tying her own long silky hair up in a high bun. She stands over her and crosses her arms at Aerith and smirks at her.

“Who ca-res, we had pizza yesterday.”

“Come on,” Tifa’s grabbing her hand and yanking her up off the bed, “we gotta enjoy this while we can.”

If that’s not a sobering thought…

Aerith sighs. She’s right. Things, if she assumes they play out like the other parallels, are about to get tough. Tougher than they already are. She’s already nervous about tomorrow.

It was Jessie’s suggestion, during their Avalanche meeting, Barret’s got news for them from HQ apparently. Jessie said it would be as good time as any to let everyone in one her little secret. Aerith knows she owes Zack and Cloud an explanation, the looks Zack kept giving her the whole time they were running around Hojo’s lab. She’s slipped up enough in front of him anyway, he knows something is up. They are up against a time crunch too. She’s got a feeling Sephiroth is a few steps ahead of them already. She just wants to give everyone a bit more time. Time to heal, to prepare.

To just be.

Tifa’s giving her a knowing look, bumps their hips together before dragging her out the door with an arm around her elbow. Aw, she didn’t even grab a hair tie.

“It’ll be okay. Let’s go have some fun with our friends,”

She bites her tongue. It might _not_ be okay, but she’s been negative enough. Tifa’s got the right idea; she’s got to stay positive. It’s the first time, at least she can remember, that everyone’s still alive after the plate fall. And Cloud didn’t die at ShinRa HQ. She shivers at that memory, tries not to focus on it as it drifts her by. It’s too gruesome, even without dinner right around the corner to think about.

Tifa pulls her along all the way down the street. It’s cold out, and she forgot to grab her jacket, so she shuffles closer to Tifa, she’s very warm, even running around in her mini skirt and crop top.

But the time they get across town to the pizza place, she feels better. Maybe she’s just been stuck in that inn room for too long. She’ll have to see if she can talk Cloud into giving her a ride on that sexy bike he stole. Zack might be her better shot, by the way Cloud was caressing it before they left this afternoon. He’ll be furious if Zack just took it without him. She laughs to herself.

“What, you planning on stealing that bike from Cloud” Tifa asks.

“U-h, how’d you know I was thinking that?”

Tifa smirks, holding the door open for her, “I saw you eyeing it. I don’t think he’s going to give you a ride either. Pretty sure that backseat is for Zack only.”

“Mmm,” She taps her lips, “well then, maybe you and I should swipe it from them. You can drive it can’t you?”

She bet Tifa can. Probably look pretty hot too, go nicely with her crimson eyes and dark hair. Tifa just gives her smile, shoves her toward the booth their group is at with a ’yeah right’ laugh.

There is only room next to Zack and Cloud. Tifa’s been putting up with her frowning and whining all day, the last _two_ days even, so she deserves the outside, not crammed up against their SOLDIER boys.

“I call Zack!” Aerith says a little too loudly, she winces in her head but slides right into the booth with force anyway.

“Oh my god,” Not even Jessie’s wide-eyed laugh and Biggs and Wedge’s wince is enough to warn the two SOLDIERS.

Zack and Cloud are all lose and relaxed, so her small amount of force as she body slams into Zack shoves them over enough for Zack to crash all up on Cloud.

“Aerith!” Cloud’s snapping at her. Zack’s laughing with his whole body, leaning even more against Cloud until he’s getting shoved back into her. Not too hard though, Cloud’s not really mad. She flashes him a cheesy smile around Zack’s muscular body. Gets a non-heated glare in return as she turns to Tifa and pats the old leather booth next to her. Lots of room for her.

Tifa’s holding in her giggles, sits down next to Aerith with grace, and smiles sweetly at her. Aerith wiggles against Zack’s side and reaches for the already half-eaten pizza.

She feels better already. Tifa’s always right. Just hanging out with people she likes, it’s just the boost she needs. They can do this. It’ll be hard, but they’ll win this time.

She can feel it. She knows it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Need a pick me up?
> 
> https://hrelics9.tumblr.com/post/620120202504454144
> 
> https://hrelics9.tumblr.com/post/619521958483197952
> 
> I hope you all watch these, I die laughing EVERY SINGLE TIME. Cause you know : WHERE'S MY BOI
> 
> Thought I would give you all a break from the suffering. Fav. part of this chapter? Is it that everyone's a little dopey and silly from so much stress. That happens to me. Haha. Really though, let me know what you loved, I have so much fun gushing silently at my computer with you. It's the best, Clack/Zakkura shippers are the best. Everyone gets along so well. You guys are awesome!
> 
> See ya Next time!
> 
> PS: I have work soon, so unless I get a week off in between, chapter updates will be probably once a week, not three-two a week. SO check back! AO3's been skipping my notifications.


	13. I Guess I Kinda Liked the Way You Numbed All the Pain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Puts *emotional* in the video title.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good morning! I can't believe I managed to squeeze in the editing this week, this guy was a bit longer than usual. 
> 
> Happy reading!

Once she had died, she thought, at least she could help them through the lifestream. Easier to speak with Gaia, easier to influence her, and ask for her help.

After all, they were doing this to save her.

But she found Gaia had a rather nasty annoyance problem with humans. She was finicky on giving out her help to those that had benefited from the death of her children- the Cetra.

The first time Aerith tried, she had whisked her so far away from Cloud that by the time she found him again, he was too late to save.

The next timeline, Gaia did the same thing.

She didn’t even ask the one after that.

And then, she found a way to stay alive, keep Sephiroth from killing her. Meaning, this last time she found herself here, giving her one last chance to ask Gaia, really resonate with her in the lifestream. Ask her to give Cloud back something for his suffering. Some help, before she stopped returning to the lifestream too early.

She can’t keep watching him die over and over anymore. This needs to end soon and she’s almost found a solution. Only a few more parallels and she’s sure she’ll have enough knowledge, enough control. So, Gaia…

“Please…help your protector. He needs it.”

Through the mako? How will that work, it’s poisoning him. A mutation in his DNA….

The wind is strong and Gaia tickles her arms.

It is small, not much of an edge.

He’ll be more like Gaia’s children then.

Whispers in the wind, through the leaves and trees, he can hear them. Gaia will flow in his veins, stronger and not so toxic. Give him control over her raging storms and her soft breezes.

“Zack…make sure he gets this,” Aerith says into the time parallel. She can see him, a few timelines over. He’s so very clear, it's the timeline she is eyeing for Cloud's final life.

A small blue materia, sending sparks all across her hand.

It’ll due.

He’s her Thunder Cloud.

So full of lightning.

He may as well learn how to use it.

***

The rain is heavy and loud in his ears.

He’s soaked in seconds but he can’t move. Buster sword stuck in the cracked earth is the only thing keeping him up. There is nowhere to go anyway. Surrounded by nothing.

Zack….

He tastes him on his lips. Blood. Zack’s blood.

The rain is washing it away but the copper still lingers.

Live for the both of us. There’s not even a he. Who is he…

He’s not sure anymore. He just knows he’s alone.

Zack.

Now it tastes salty and like copper.

“Cloud.”

Who? There’s a man standing in front of him, boots almost touching Zack’s body.

Don’t, he’ll wake Zack.

“Cloud, I’ve found you.”

Found…him? The man’s got long, long hair. All silvery and shiny. How does he know him?

He’s kneeling next to him, still so tall. Takes Zack’s sword with slow hands and places it softly on the ground.

“It’s all right, Cloud.”

He can’t stop tasting salt. He’s crying? Why Zack’s just sleeping. It’s okay.

He’s fine.

He’s….

Warm, the rain is not falling on him so much. The man, with the silver hair, he’s so close. He’s touching him, his face. Cloud’s never felt hands so gentle. Wipes the tears and the rain by his eyes.

Sea green, the man’s eyes. So different.

So beautiful.

“You’ll be together again soon.”

What?

It’s sharp. Sudden and hot, ripping right through him. Pain, so much pain. Thin metal right through his chest.

“Seph-

Those sea eyes are so cold now, a small smirk, colder than his eyes, smug, arrogant.

“-iroth.”

Tastes like Zack’s blood again. So dark.

It’s all minty, so short this time. Aerith, he was just _here._ He's so tired of starting over. How many times, can't he just keep Zack, for once?

The rain is heavy.

***

Cloud’s been lying in the dark, awake, staring at the ceiling and listening to the trees north of the town. The inn is on the border, where the ground is all red rock and dying. Easy to hear the trees in the wind. Must be a storm rolling in, it’s louder than the last few nights they’ve been here.

He can’t fall asleep. A bad dream he can’t really remember woke him up hours ago. Maybe he’s just slept too much. Almost two whole days. His eyes don’t want to be closed anymore. So, he’s just going to keep staring at the ceiling and listening to the trees.

He doesn’t mind then, when Zack is rolling over on top of him. He’s warm, it’s nice.

“Ah” Oh, he’s awake, sliding a sleepy, lazy hand into Cloud’s boxer briefs.

That’s okay too; Cloud likes it when Zack touches him, even if it is constant and sometimes too much too soon. Zack’s weight gets heavier; he’s pressing Cloud down into the bed more, already getting his lips on his neck. Starts pressing two fingers inside him.

“A-h” Feels good; Zack’s so good at finding the right spot so fast. Feels-

Wrong.

Something’s _wrong._

Cloud can’t stop himself from tensing up. Nausea, a fast wave of it, _so much._

“S-Stop,” Zack’s fingers in him are making it worse, “Zack, stop.”

Zack’s slow on the uptake here, still half asleep, blinking down at him like he doesn’t understand what Cloud is saying.

He feels a little bad, but he’s got no time, nausea is getting worse. He pushes Zack away just enough so he can roll off the bed and dash into the bathroom.

Of fucking course.

_Mako._

All that shitty, minty mako. Cloud hates it. Hates that he remembers he used to want it so bad. Become a SOLDIER, it’ll be awesome. Now he just wants all the mako to leave his system, undo it. It’s too much, all the time. Never stops. Why, why does it never stop?

Great, now he’s got to breathe through all the mako heaving _and_ his frustrated tears. It’s not like he had been floating in a tank full of mako recently.

_Oh, wait._

Fuck. _Him._

“Fuck,” Zack, that’s just what he was thinking too, “Cloudy-Sky, hold on.”

He’s gone, but just for a moment. Then he’s all warm next to him, hands slowly soothing up and down his back. Feels better than usual, probably all the bare skin contact. Cloud hopes Zack doesn’t mind, he’s still heaving up mako. His stomach is starting to cramp, but the nausea waves are not stopping. He’s gonna be here for a while, kneeling on the stupid cold floor.

Feels never-ending. Just when he thinks it’s over, it gets worse.

Zack’s kneeling over him, both his hands rubbing his lower back and his sides. Feels Zack’s forehead pressing between his shoulder blades. He’s making soothing noise at him. Pulls him back after Cloud lays his face on the toilet seat for longer than two minutes.

Fucking, _finally_. Damn, it’s like he drank that whole tank of mako. He’s also tired now.

Zack’s pulling him to his feet, letting him lean against him and no-

 _No_ , he doesn’t want mouth wash, it's minty. Cloud moves his head away; Zack is trying to get him to drink it.

“Cloud, come on, you complain when you don’t wash out the mako.”

“No, minty.”

Zack’s sighing in his hair. Now Cloud feels bad.

“I know, real fast, just ten seconds. I have ginger for you after.”

Fine. Ten seconds that’s it.

It’s the longest ten seconds of his life, keeps getting ghost nausea as he swishes. He hates the way it foams in his mouth too. Zack only lets him rinse it out a few times before he’s shoving something else at his lips.

“Seriously,” Cloud mutters, turning his head again, “no.”

“Cloud, it’s a ginger remedy.”

So annoying, he just wants to be _alone._

A hollow feeling fills his lungs. He thinks he remembers Zack dying, in his dream...in all of his dreams. He swallows back the burning in his eyes.

Never mind, he doesn’t want to be alone. He downs the remedy and then pushes right back into Zack’s arms. Smashing his face into his collarbone. He doesn’t care if it’s embarrassing later, or that he seems needy. He’s just a liar anyway. He loves being against Zack, wants to be touching him all the time.

Always _needs_ it.

Just…doesn’t want anyone to know. They’ll take Zack away from him then.

Sometimes he doesn’t even want Zack to know, He'll just get tired of him like Cloud gets tired of himself.

Cloud can’t stop the shaking in his arms or the damn tears. Again. What is wrong with him? He’s just falling apart all over again. For a second, he can’t remember anything. Did he just wake up from that fucking coma again?

“It’s okay, Beautiful. I got you.”

No, no, it’s been weeks, just over a month now. He remembers. Cloud presses his face harder into Zack’s skin. He wishes Zack was inside him right now. That they were fucking instead of him throwing up his whole stomach. He doesn’t have energy too anymore, but the want settles deep in his bones, so strongly. Zack just watched him be _so gross_ for the longest time ever. No way does he want him.

“Mmph-” Zack’s shoving his tongue in his mouth. Ugh, _Zack_. He was just throwing up.

“I always want you.” Zack’s still so close, staring into his eyes.

Huh, Cloud must be talking out loud. That's embarrassing.

“Besides, you used the mouth wash.”

Oh right.

Zack pulls him back to the bed. They don’t fuck though. Even though Cloud feels like he'll never shake the need too.

He doesn’t remember falling asleep.

He is alone when he wakes up again. Colder than normal too. That stupid hollowed-out feeling is still with him and he has a massive headache. At least it’s a normal headache and not a creepy-ass Sephiroth one.

Cloud curls in; he misses Zack and then hates himself for being so needy.

He doesn’t know what is wrong with him. Even after Zack told him about this…connection thing they have. About JENOVA cells and a bit of what Hojo did to them in Nibelheim. He still feels off. Unhinged, fine one moment, falling apart too fast the next.

Fuck, he can’t stop the tears.

“Hey, it’s okay, I’m right here.”

Zack. How’d he know? Right, the connection thing. Cloud frowns, if he focuses hard enough, a very faint crackling in his head. It’s just constant. So quiet he doesn’t even notice it usually. Zack’s uncurling him, pulling him up to sit. Cloud tries to catch his breath, he’s not even crying really, or out of breath.

He just…feels like he needs to get his lungs working a bit better.

Zack is being his normal overly sweet self. Pushing into Cloud’s space so gently and giving him his tender eyes, soft kisses. Ugh, Cloud hates that he loves it.

“Sorry, I’m fine.” He manages to mumble against Zack’s lips.

Zack’s giving him his best ‘don’t be stupid’ face. Cloud feels his cheeks heat up, Zack’s eyes are so intense, all the time. Icy and fiery blending together. They focus on him so much. Cloud still doesn’t know what to do with all the attention. He’s just…so terrible at all this. Still, the same as his broken mind, thinks he's got the hang of it and then just _can't_ , gets pulled back into his shyness.

Zack’s brushing away his drying tears; seriously, he didn’t even realize his eyes were still doing that.

“Don’t be sorry. You can cry.”

Saying it actually makes it much more embarrassing. Zack’s gaze is too much so Cloud looks away, down at the junction of his neck and shoulder. Huffs a little because he doesn’t know what to say. Zack laughs softly.

“Don’t be embarrassed. I pretty much cried yesterday just cause you said hi to me.”

That makes him laugh, Cloud doesn’t remember that.

“Seriously?” He teases Zack a little.

Zack’s smiling all dopey at him, reaches out and wipes away the last few tracks on his face, “you were pretty out of it. You just fucking smiled at me and I couldn’t hold it together. Nearly burst into tears in front of the girls.”

Speaking of, Jessie had asked about continuing training at the pizza place last night. They both had been eager and agreed immediately, need something to let off some steam besides all the sex they've been having. Cloud glances at the clock just past Zack’s shoulder. Barely even six. Early then. They’d agreed on ten, so everyone could sleep in. Feels like it’s their last chance to just relax, something’s coming their way and they can all feel it. Making them all desperate for normal.

Cloud doesn’t even know what is normal, he’s been thrown into the weird and horrifying for so long. Maybe, right before Nibelheim? He remembers going out with Zack for far eastern food a week before. And then everything went to shit and Cloud lost five years of his life.

He still can’t believe it’s that long.

“Hey, you in there?” Gets soft knuckles knocking on his head.

Cloud leans forward the whole two inches from Zack and just eases against him. Wallows in his embarrassment for a while. Zack rests his arms on his shoulders, hands going into Cloud’s hair. The shadows of the window get shorter, and Cloud eventually feels all the weirdness leave his chest.

He needs to get out some extra energy still.

“Wanna go spar before everyone wakes up?” Zack’s asking him before he can even finish the thought.

Weird. This is so _weird_. He wonders if he’ll be able to actually start hearing Zack’s thoughts. This linking between them just gets more intense every day.

He nods, feeling like his voice isn't going to work. Zack ruffles his hair once more before standing.

Pulling on their clothes and armor lazily, they leave their room. The sun is barely up, and Cloud’s still stuck in his head. He follows Zack sluggishly, staring at the hard-line in his arms. They head out around the back of the inn, down to the end of town. There are miles of fields, grass half-dry from the tiny reactor to the west of town. A good chunk is nice and green still, closer to the oak trees in the back. The grass is high there, brushing the top of Cloud’s knees, sways with just the tiniest of breezes.

The forest is dark in the early morning, and quiet. Blends well into the four mountain peaks surrounding them. He’s not sure why, but the mountains always calm him. Makes him blush a little that Zack noticed it immediately. He’s getting even more heat in his face thinking about yesterday. Zack turns to look back at him with a smirk, a faint pink on his cheekbones too. Cloud must have thought about it too hard and pushed it through their mind link.

Zack laughs, “Maybe after we spar a bit?” He stops, lets Cloud run right into him, “I’ll fuck you in the grass again, mm?”

 _So_ embarrassing. Embarrassing that Cloud wants that so bad. He shifts his weight, lowers his gaze, and walks around Zack. Otherwise, …he’ll probably just jump him. Usually, Zack beats him to that, but still.

Zack, who is laughing weightlessly after him, taking quick steps to catch back up and bump their hips together. They stop in the grass about halfway to the tree line, nice and open. There is an old wooden fence lining a dirt road that keeps going into the mountains, probably an old mining road, abandoned when the reactor was put in.

He watches Zack slip his materia back into his buster. He pulls out two ethers, tossing one at Cloud. Top them off before they start.

“Okay,” Zack’s walking back from him a few steps, drawing the buster, “same as last time then. First to break the SHIELD and/or run out of mana.”

Cloud nods, draws his own broadsword. He still hasn’t really worked with the splitting of the blades, but then, his life has been pretty much rushing and running for the past two weeks. He forgets he’s only had this weapon for a few days. Feels like years have passed by.

His materia, already crackling in his wrist, certainly thinks it’s been a long time. He’s noticed it’s leveled up already, can feel it pulling at his mana, waiting to be used.

Huh. That’s a little new too. Actually-

Out here in the fresh air and the serene landscape, feels like something is trying to speak to him. Gently, reassuring. The soft breeze coming in from the coast, sounds almost like whispers, warms his blood. Feels a burst of energy in his sternum, like power. It’s not from Zack. Their connection is new, but he’s so familiar with Zack, he can tell already when he’s using their mind link.

This feels like the planet itself is aware of him, rushing to him and giving him comfort.

Barret’s rather accusing words at the first reactor echo in his mind. Hearing the planet crying…

This doesn’t feel like that. Just feels like he can do anything, with the wind around him and the open sky above.

Zack’s casting SHIELD over them, a bright blue light that encircles him and then hardens into an invisible force. It’s more shimmery then normal, thicker, muffles all the sound just the slightest.

Cloud’s materia is not the only one that’s leveled up then. This will be a longer spar.

“Ready, Spikes?” Zack calls, the rustling of the grass makes him sound a bit farther than he is.

Cloud’s pulling mana and letting his lightning materia crackle further up his arm, darting forward toward Zack as his answer.

He’s so ready to _win._

***

Jessie’s probably been up for the last few hours, annoying the crap out of the boys. Aerith bets on it, the look on their faces when she opens their room door to the three of them. Biggs and Wedge look like they are barely awake, but also _so_ ready to just shove Jessie at her.

“Morning,” Jessie’s all smiles, “ready to go kick each other’s asses?”

Aerith laughs. She’s surprised Zack said yes. He must have done this before with them. She can see Zack having fun training with Cloud, but the others. Not enough of a challenge.

Even Tifa and Barret are no match for a SOLDIER. She can’t imagine Zack or Cloud gaining anything from practicing with them. But then again, Zack always wants to save people, so maybe he thinks training them to be better in combat is a way of doing that.

Tifa’s pushing her out the door, pulling her gloves on, “you bet we are,” She says. She seems just as pumped as Jessie.

That’s no surprise, Tifa’s a major powerhouse, Aerith gets flashes of times she met her earlier in life, when she hung out at Seventh Heaven before the plate dropped. Tifa would always let her watch her box in the Avalanche basement. Aerith kind of wishes she had that time in this parallel.

They all know their SOLDIER boys are already out and about, Zack’s a hyper puppy when it comes to training and anything SOLDIER-y. Gets itchy sitting around doing nothing for too long. Actually, it makes his constant need to be all over Cloud more clear. When he’s not using his combat as his energy release, she guesses sex is the next best thing. She laughs to herself, poor Cloud. Must be so tired all the time between the two activities.

There are flashes of lightning behind the inn. Causes a familiar tapping in her mind, the start of a memory?

“Guess they are over there then,” Jessie says and skips ahead.

Aerith’s never met anyone with as much energy as Zack before. Jessie’s a close second. She can see why Jessie would like training. They follow a dirt road that runs along a grassy field, back near the forest line. She can’t see Zack or Cloud, but they can hear sword metal clashing. Must be moving too fast for them to keep up.

“Anyone see them?”

Tifa smiles sweetly at her as if to say, ‘oh Aerith’, “Back in the trees,” she points, “see where it’s a little more rocky?”

If Aerith squints, she thinks she sees a flash of dark and a small streak of Cloud’s blonde hair. Or she could just be seeing things. SOLDIERS can move pretty fast.

“Sure,” she says to appease Tifa.

She gets laughed at anyway.

The deeper into the field the road goes, the closer they get and Aerith actually _can_ start to see them. Their little group of five stops at a better held together section of the fence. Jessie vaulting up onto it to sit and watch. Biggs leans unusually close to her instead of his normal hang back with Wedge. Aerith doesn’t miss the tinge of red under his tanned skin. Aerith takes her own chance and basically leans up against Tifa as they both rest their arms on the withering wood.

Cloud and Zack are getting closer to them. All high jumps into the air and sparks flying off their swords. It’s hard to tell if either of them is winning. Both of them are breathing hard, but still relaxed. They seem evenly matched, Cloud’s a bit faster, but she sees the way he stumbles when Zack’s pushing him off from an attack. They must have been out here for hours already; she can sense the normal lingering haze in the air from battle materia being used. It’s also barely even nine and they had all agreed to ten last night.

The boys get close enough that it’s not a strain on their eyes to see them anymore. They are a good audience, Jessie hollers ‘wooos’ at them when a particularly flashy move is pulled off. Gets winces from Biggs and Wedge when a stumble happens, or if one of them gets the upper hand for a moment.

Tifa’s the only quiet one, watching with intent and keeping an eye on both of their forms. Aerith can see her calculating all their moves. Smart. Aerith just thinks it’s fun. She’s not a combat expert and she’s always focused her skills on healing and spells. All her fight power is back up and maybe a last-minute powerful spell, if she can get her mana built up enough.

Usually, she’s healing someone before that happens.

Zack and Cloud clash against each other particularly hard, sparks flying between them and they both get shoved back from the force. That’s when the rush of that tapping memory hits her-

\- _Through the mako? How will that work, it’s poisoning him. A mutation in his DNA…._

_The wind is strong and Gaia tickles her arms._

_He’ll be more like Gaia’s children then._

_“Zack…make sure he gets this,” Aerith says into the time parallel._

_A small blue materia, sending sparks all across her hand_. –

It’s got a weird green haze over it, must be an odd lifestream memory then, in one of the parallels where she died too early. Those are always weird to remember, she can taste the tingling of the lifestream in her mouth afterward.

Seems to make a chain reaction happen. Everything gets still around them. Like, _everything._ The grass stops moving in the breeze, the trees fall silent. Not even the small chirps of birds. Everyone in their group tenses, pushes together around Jessie on the fence. A tingling surrounds them, the air gets thick with humidity.

All at once, dark, dark clouds start to form above them, _no._

Above _Cloud._ The temperature drops and a breeze picks up from the mountain range, it’s stronger than the gentle one before. Aerith feels her hair getting static and out on the field, Zack’s long dark locks pick up from his shoulders.

It’s Cloud doing this. The memory fading in her head, the lightning materia…it’s the one Cloud has. Gaia gave it to him…

The storm clouds get thicker above him. Tifa’s holding her breath next to her and a long, long pause fills the entirety of the landscape.

Thunder rumbles all through the clouds, shaking the earth and pounding in her ears, it vibrates in her chest, seems to roll on through the sky forever and pitter out in low, low tones. Cloud’s glowing, she can see it, a faint outline of bluish-teal, drifting up from his body. Jumps of blue flashes crackle all long his wrist, up his arms, running along his sword.

Just as the thunder fades, a massive crack splits the mountains and the sky, Aerith just barely hears herself and everyone else gasps.

Lightning shoots among the storm clouds, rushing in and out, flashing and powerful, before jutting down to the ground in thick strikes. Multiple, all moving inward, focused on Cloud. He's pulling them in towards his body, encasing his sword. Another rolling thunder rumble shakes them and then all at once, just slightly one after the other, lightening claps down. Seven bolts, all surrounding the area close to Zack, making him jump around to get out of the way.

The wind has really picked up and Cloud’s pulled it in close to him, his hair fluttering in it, the tips of his sleeveless top floating up with the force and the static. He’s so bright under the dark clouds. Little bolts of lightning are jumping all around his body, he’s watching Zack intensely.

“There,” Tifa says, “he’s going for it.”

Just as she finishes saying it, Cloud darts forward, thunder rolling with him and seven more bolts strike down, pushing Zack around the field.

He’s not directing the lightning at him, she realizes, he’s trying to get Zack where he wants him.

That sword flashing though is going to hurt when it collides.

It does a few seconds later; Cloud’s waited till Zack has sidestepped a very close bolt and just slices on through him. His SHIELD glitters and cracks, blasting apart just as another roar of thunder and lightning roll in the storm above them.

“Holy fucking shit,” Jessie says.

 _Yeah._ That's a pretty good reward Gaia.

***

Zack’s eyes widen as he realizes what’s happening. That storm above is Cloud’s doing. The sparks around his body from his materia, they flash in his eyes. Even from all across the grass field, Zack can see it reflecting in his pretty blue irises. Zack had been surprised to find lightning materia back in slum 7, usually, they are rarer, and this one had just been calling for Cloud. Zack had almost heard it in his head when he bought it.

He’s never seen materia create whole storms though. It’s not their connection either, though Zack can feel Cloud pulling energy from him, not too much, borrowed power maybe. Zack doesn’t think he realizes he’s doing it.

It’s a little terrifying and extremely _sexy_ when he starts pushing Zack around the field with sharp, loudly clapping bolts of lightning. The vibrating thunder has his adrenaline going and Zack knows the moment he’s lost. Hears it Cloud’s head, a tiny little ‘ha, got you’ feeling, brings the taught to his mind.

His SHIELD shatters as a few last bolts fall around him in a circle, wind rushes past him after Cloud’s fast, strong body.

Everything around them gets a bit more gentle. The storm clouds lighten to a normal dark rainy color, the thunder fading as if the storm is far away and the lightning flashes weaken in the clouds to nothing. The wind stops and Zack turns to Cloud. He’s standing just a few steps from him in the tall grass, with his hand barely holding onto his sword, all wide eyes and shocked. Like he's not sure what just happened.

Zack smirks at him, fucking damn. That was some sexy spar, _again_. He steps toward Cloud, except his knee buckles before he can take another one, and pain blossoms on his side. _Shit_ , Cloud actually got him. Cut right through his SHIELD. It’s not that bad, mostly superficial, he can feel his healing kicking in and the wound closing up already.

“Zack!” Aw, Cloud, the panic in his voice isn’t needed, Zack’s fine. Feels a little bad, Cloud should be pleased, now he might hold back.

Cloud’s all up in his space anyway, hands going to his torso, sword dropped in the grass. Zack feels him reaching out in his mind, fire crackling in his head, and then a rush of cooling sensation, Cloud’s bare hand slipping under his shirt. Green veins appearing all up his arm, Zack can feel them rushing to the almost healed cut in his side.

Cloud’s arms are shaking and his eyes are the most guarded he’s seen in a while. _His beautiful Cloudy-Sky_. Zack chuckles, raises his hand up and brushes his knuckles across Cloud’s face.

“I’m fine, you barely nicked me.”

His arms are still shaking, but his guard cracks a bit. Zack sighs with adoration. He pushes forward, launching his whole body at Cloud and knocking him back into the soft grass. He falls on top of him with an exaggerated ‘ooph” and a wide smile.

He hears their audience whistle at them from the fence. Makes him laugh. Zack can barely see past the tall grass, they must have disappeared completely into it.

“That was fucking amazing,” he leans down and kisses Cloud, short and wet, “so-sexy-“ another kiss, “-fucking can’t believe how-where’d you learn that, huh?”

Another kiss just because he can, longer this time, gets Cloud to relax back into the ground. His arms stop shaking. Good.

Still is running his hands all over Zack's torso, looking for wounds, like that’s really soothing right now. More like Zack’s starting to get _real_ tight in his SOLDIER uniform. He laughs against Cloud’s lips, not meanly, it’s sweet, he’s worried about him.

“I’m fine, _you_. Be fucking proud, that was amazing.” He bumps their noses together, “you gonna show me how to do that?”

Cloud’s lost that guard altogether, finally. Back to his wide-eyed look.

“I don’t even-I mean.” Doesn’t know how then, that’s going to be really impressive once he knows.

“The materia, right?”

Cloud nods, then frowns a little, “I dunno…just felt like the storm was inside me, and then it…wasn’t.”

Speaking of being inside.

Cloud tenses a bit, averts his gaze to Zack’s lips, licks his own. Zack barely contains a groan.

Zack’s real hard now, pressed down against Cloud. He can still feel all the static and tingling from the bolts.

Damn it, he really wants to fuck Cloud in the grass, but he can hear their little group vaulting over the fence and coming towards them. Zack sighs again, this time a little put out. It’s not even ten yet, they have thirty minutes.

Zack can do a lot to Cloud in thirty minutes.

“Zack, cut it out. I can hear you thinking all this.” Cloud smacks his head lightly. But he’s got a dusting of pink across his nose and when Zack shifts his weight he can feel him hard against him too.

Seriously, _damnit_. Now he’s gotta train more instead, should have just stayed in their room.

One more kiss, a really slow, hot, good one. Pulls a whimper from Cloud that isn’t doing his erection any good, but whatever.

“Ok-ay, get off him,” Aerith’s warning him before any of their friends can actually see them.

They sit up and it’s jarring to suddenly see their surroundings when his world was narrowed to just Cloud and soft green grass.

Jessie makes it to them first, “What the shit-that was so awesome Cloud. How’d you do that?”

Biggs grabs her arm before she launches herself at them, which is good, Zack’s not exactly calmed down yet. Cloud's all close to him still and he smells of clean air, grass, and ozone. _Sexy._

“I didn’t even know materia could let you do that.” He’s saying, pulling Jessie to an almost standstill.

“I don’t think it can,” Zack says. He's sure even.

Aerith is leaning over and looking at Cloud with interested eyes, “can I see?” She asks.

“Mm?” His gaze is slow to meet hers; Zack tries to hide his pleased smirk. He was staring hard at Zack’s arms, nice to know Cloud gets distracted by him too.

“Your lightning materia?” Aerith’s reaching for his wrist anyway. Cloud lets her, looks up at her with a neutral expression.

She studies it for a moment and ‘hmphs’ but doesn’t say anything else. Just reaches out and pats Cloud on the head with the tips of her fingers.

Zack realizes it’s only the seven of them, “Wait, where’s Barret and Red?”

“Oh, I don’t think Red likes humans that much.” Tifa shrugs, “and Marlene’s here. You really think Barret wants to train with us rather than hang out with his daughter.”

At least it’ll be a bit easier to pair off. With the seven of them, there’s more even matched pairings. Except for Aerith, Zack’s not sure what to do with her. She seems to know he’s thinking it, crosses her arms, and fake-pouts at him.

“Excuse you, I can fight you know.” She says, yanks him to his feet anyway when he gives her his puppy eyes.

“Combat?” Cloud asks, raising a blonde brow at her. She sticks her tongue out at him.

“Just for that, I call Cloud as my sparring partner.”

The horror that flashes in his eyes pushes a laugh out of Zack. He schools it pretty well, before Aerith can see and get her feelings hurt.

“…fine.” he finally says. Aerith beams at him and he goes all soft.

And then the sky opens up and rain just _pours_ all over them. Immediately there is a chorus from everyone-

“- _Cloud!_ -”

“Aw-come on’ bro!-”

“-Really?!-”

Cloud winces hard and steps a little behind Zack. It pours harder and Zack just laughs. He makes them train in the rain. It’s actually really fun, minus all the glaring from Aerith. (“I just washed my hair, you know how _long_ that takes?”)

Cloud’s a sweetie and actually does spar with her. He is very patient, gentle enough until she starts getting it, and she does, pretty quickly. Zack’s not surprised, not really. Aerith’s not weak, but she’s never shown interest in any kind of combat besides the healing and the backup spells. The other's are doing well, they retain at least half the lesson from last time. Zack doesn't even have to bait Wedge into throwing harder punches. Everyone lasts a good hour and a half before the rain gets so heavy it’s hard to see through all the water droplets on their lashes.

Tifa and Aerith confiscate Cloud from him, hovering around him as they all walk back to the inn. They grab at his arms when he tries to hang back to walk next to Zack. It’s cute. Zack doesn’t mind, walks with Jessie and Wedge. Biggs is between them all, making sure the girls don’t annoy Cloud too much.

The rain starts to let up as they get to the inn, but there are normal rain clouds rolling in from the mountains now, so looks like the drizzle is going to be a long, half the day haze.

“Meet in an hour at our room, Avalanche meeting.” Jessie says as they walk up the stairs, “Barret says it’s real serious.”

“Yeah,” Wedge says, “straight from HQ. We’re back in big leagues now.”

They all split with little waves and Aerith’s teasing Cloud about ruining her hair again. She’s all smiles though, so Cloud just ducks his head and steps into their room to get away from her.

Zack closes the door lightly, turns around and just, gets hard immediately. Cloud’s dripping wet, his cowlick laying bit flatter and framing his face more, eyes bright and relaxed. Nature is really good for him. He looks so pretty, lips tinted pinker from the cold, hard for Zack not to watch droplets running over his skin.

Zack grabs him and slams him back against the door, reaching down and yanking his legs up around his waist. He starts chasing the rainwater running down his neck from his hair with his tongue. Slides Cloud up against the door a bit more, so he can bend his knees and really get up under his jaw. Cloud’s griping his waist tight with his thighs, his arms just as much around his shoulders. Zack can feel him through his pants, just as hard as he is. They've been on the edge all morning.

He rolls his hips, drawing a gasp and getting that sweet pressure on his trapped erection. Cloud’s radiating heat through his rain-soaked body and their kissing is extra slippery from their wet lips. He wants to get them on the bed, get inside Cloud, but he also can’t pull away. He just keeps rolling his hips against Cloud’s, pressing him hard back into the door. Heated pressure low in his body is building much too fast. He hasn’t even gotten his cock out and he’s going to come any second. Barely gets a hand between them to pull them both out before they come, all pressed tight and shaky.

Cloud thunks his head back against the door, panting hard. Zack buries his face into his wet shoulder. Shit, that was the fastest he’s ever come.

“Fuck, Zack. You’d think we’ve never had sex,” Cloud pants heavy.

Zack laughs and laughs. Gets his arms under Cloud’s legs and takes them into the bathroom. They need a shower, rainwater already setting in a chill. Zack undresses them hastily and if they take too long cause Zack’s got him pressed up against the tile wall for long drawn out kisses and sweet touches, too bad.

Avalanche meeting can wait till Zack makes sure Cloud’s all relaxed and loose limbs.

***

The room is pretty small to fit all ten of them in, but Red’s fine curled up on the floor, and Marlene is asleep, all curled up on a pillow. She’s so small she doesn’t even notice that Barret’s taking up the rest of the bed, looking as tough as he can, the leader of Avalanche that he is.

It’s just a _tiny_ bit hard to take him seriously when Marlene is holding her tiny hand on top of his massive one. So _cute._ Biggs and Wedge are sitting at the table in the corner; Jessie perched on Biggs’s thigh and Wedge leaning against the wall behind them. All three of them chatting quietly.

Leaves the extra table chair and the armchair in the other corner. Aerith looks at Tifa.

She rolls her eyes and pulls her over to the table chair, “let the boys have the comfy one. I bet they fall asleep halfway through, burning all those calories up.”

Oh, she bets that too, but not calorie burning from _training_. Aerith’s fine sitting on Tifa’s lap. No problem at all, she’s a pleasant mix of soft skin and hard muscle. She gets her arms around Aerith’s waist so she doesn’t slide off and Aerith wraps an arm around her shoulders. She gets really nervous all of a sudden. Even though Tifa knows, and Jessie too. Well, …they know half of her secrets. But now she’s going to just let everything out. They aren’t in the safety of the city anymore and Sephiroth has made an actual appearance, not just to them, but to ShinRa.

If there was ever a go time, it’s _now._

The boys are late, almost twenty minutes late and when they finally peek their heads in, Aerith and Tifa both have to press their lips closed, try not to giggle. Cloud is zoned out. Doesn’t even put up a fuss when Zack yanks him down into his lap on the armchair. Everyone’s nice enough _not_ to tease them, this one time.

“Alright, now that our mutts are finally here,” Barret says much less boisterous than normal, little Marlene is still deeply asleep, “got some serious business to discuss.”

“Not blowing up this reactor are we?” Cloud asks, body all loose over Zack.

Gets a laugh from the Jessie and Wedge.

“Nah, we’re far past that now,” Barret says seriously.

Woah, even Jessie, Wedge and Biggs sit a little straighter.

“I’m sure ya’ll are aware, knowing you can’t keep a secret Wedge, HQ has contacted me.”

“Well,” Wedge says, “-to be fair, HQ bailed us out at ShinRa, so they already knew.”

“-This is somethin’ else.”

The room gets real quiet.

“You sure you want us in here then?” Zack asks. It’s still a tension that Tifa has expressed worry about, she's chatted about to Aerith since they came to Kalm.

Barret’s been pretty distant with Zack and Cloud and Aerith technically hasn’t really met him at all. They’ve all been thrown together so quickly. She wracks her memories for whatever is about to come but nothing.

Huh, guess this is a first for this timeline too.

“You two saved my guys, all of them. And you were hell-bent on stopping that plate coming down. That's proof enough for me.”

Zack’s blinding the whole room with a huge sunny smile. Barret does his best to fake glare at him,

“Just don’t go making me eat my words and turn ex-ex-ShinRa on us.”

Zack laughs, jostles Cloud a bit, “Don’t worry, that ships wa-y out there on the ocean, man.”

Barret nods with a smile and addresses the rest of the room again.

“One of our branches needs a temporary leader, they’ve asked me to step in.”

Woah, okay, judging by Jessie’s small body jerk and Biggs’s eyes widening, that’s really surprising. Aerith’s never gotten very involved in Avalanche, it was pretty much a finished group by the time she joined up with everyone. Guess her final life is going to be very different than the others.

“But, they were so mad when we split from them,” Biggs says.

Barret just shrugs, “Something’s up with ShinRa and they want people who’ve dealt with them personally.”

So them. A small cell that has been far too involved in ShinRa activities lately.

“Okay,” Jessie says, “so what, do we know what they want us to do yet?”

Barret shakes his head, “Got no choice anyway. Used up all my favors getting you guys out.”

Jessie winces, so do their SOLDIER boys. Aerith feels a little bad. She hopes she hasn’t forced Barret’s hand with anything.

“Still don’t know any details, just requested me and my team head to this cell’s main base location.”

“Which is?” Tifa asks.

There’s a long silence.

“Wutai.”

“Wutai!?” Nearly half of them shout.

Wutai. Aerith’s never been. She’s never been anywhere. Not really, but even in her past lives, she doesn’t remember Wutai very well. Far away in her mind, once or twice, but. Or just...not important to her JENOVA information.

Zack’s gone very still in the corner. Cloud’s all focused and worried eyes on him.

“You sure you wanna bring ex-SOLDIERS into Wutai?” he asks.

Barret actually winces, “I know, but ya’ll too young to be have been in the war.”

Zack gets a dark, dark look in his eyes, “I’m 23, SOLDIER program starts as young as 14. Not only was I in the war, I was 2nd SOLDIER by then.”

Right…Aerith remembers, he’d talked about Angeal going to Wutai, about the mission’s he’d taken Zack on. The silence is loud.

“Zack,” She says, “It’ll be okay. The war’s been over for years now.”

Tifa nods in agreement, her hair brushes Aerith’s arm on her shoulder, “Wutai’s a vacation spot now, you know how many people from Midgar go there?”

“A lot” Jessie adds, “Pretty sure ShinRa sends their top paid for there on breaks.”

He relaxes a little but doesn’t say anything else.

“So,” Biggs says, “when we heading out west then?”

“Friday, they’re sendin’ a final chopper out to round us up.”

Two days. Aerith’s not sure how to feel. She’s drawing a blank on this, just the same as Zack and Cloud getting captured by ShinRa. All new territory.

“If that’s all for now,” Jessie says, kicks her foot at Aerith and Tifa’s chair, “I think there’s one thing left.”

Her stomach bursts into millions of tiny little butterflies. She’s very nervous. She doesn’t want Zack and Cloud to be mad at her. She’s not even sure how to explain all this. She’s going to sound crazy. Tifa gives her a little squeeze. Aerith sighs, stands up, and when she looks at Zack. He looks 16 again, vulnerable and sweet, and starting to put up his guard.

“Right. I have something you should all know.” So many eyes are on her. She’s so used to being just her. She pulls on one of her curls, doesn’t really help her feel better.

“Before you start,” Tifa says, “Jessie and I know some of this already. For the record,” she looks at Aerith with a warm comforting smile, “we believe her.”

“Believe her? So this is gonna get weird then?” Wedge asks.

Bingo! It’s about to get _real_ weird.

“Is this…Shinra called you an ancient.” Zack’s voice is very quiet.

Behind her, Barret takes in a gasp.

“He’s…right. I’m the last decedent of the ancients. But…that’s not what we call ourselves.”

“The Cetra,” Barret says for her. He knows the teachings then, at least is aware of them. It’s not surprising, Barret’s very vocal about the planet dying and that is Avalanche’s main goal, save the planet. Keeps up with the Barret’s she’s all meet before.

It’s the two glowy eyed boys she’s worried about.

It starts her on a roll though and once she starts talking, it gets easier. It’s long and she has to stop and go off on other tangents to explain certain things. But eventually, she tells them everything. About the Cetra and their horrific war with the Calamity from the skies. About how when she was a little girl, she grew up in Hojo’s main labs with her mother, escaped only for her to die, and be taken in by Elmyra in the Sector 5 slums.

When she gets to JENOVA, her heart breaks a little. Cloud goes all stiff, curls in close to Zack and breathes hard the whole time she talks. His eyes dimming and guarded. Zack’s reaction hurts just as much. All that rage is there; his body’s shaking with it. She can see his grip on Cloud is bruising. She pushes on, explains how JENOVA is the Calamity that destroyed her people, and that it lay dormant and unaware for 2000 years until ShinRa came along and pulled it from the deep depths of the planet. That Hojo has mistaken it for an Ancient and has made a horrific mistake unleashing it onto Gaia.

She tells them, if they don’t stop it. JENOVA will swallow the whole world, kill everything off until it’s just a dead rock of monsters and fiends.

Tifa and Jessie both looked just as shocked, she hadn’t told them that part. At least…at least she’s told them _mostly_ the worst part.

The part that’s going to hurt her the most is next. And Cloud…she’s already near tears.

“There’s one more thing….”

“One more,” Zack girts out, it’s okay, he’s not mad at her. He’s just…angry, “you’re telling me there’s more to this shit show?”

“I…know things, that will happen, or rather, can happen.”

 _There’s_ all the confused looks she was waiting for. So far, everyone’s been very encouraging and keeping up with her.

“JENOVA…is a very difficult horror to beat. She- _it_ , killed off my people and it wants to do the same to the rest of the planet. It...already has before.”

“What?” Barret says from behind her, “you’re telling me, that we’ve all done this before?"

Ah, he’s getting it, not all the way, but almost there. She shakes her head.

“Not this exactly, different timelines-other timelines, other…us. I did a spell, used a special materia…many many time parallels ago, where JENOVA succeeded in killing everyone and everything. It’s given me the knowledge on how to destroy it for good. Reaches out through all the timelines and shows me all the new things I have learned in those lives.”

Zack’s staring at her with that dark look in his eyes again, like they’re talking about the war. He’s getting it, she knows he is. That look, it scares her.

“I had no other choice; collapse the timelines for its knowledge so that somewhere, in any universe, JENOVA could be destroyed, for good.”

Her voice is getting tired, but she goes on. Tells them that she doesn’t know everything all at once, that it comes in waves, somethings she can change, somethings she can only change a little bit. But she’s got the knowledge in her mind somewhere that they can win. _How_ they can win. They all seem to believe her at least, looking gloomy and grim, but they believe her. It's a huge relief.

“H-how, how does the materia work?”

Oh, of course it’s Cloud that asks her that. He _always_ asks her. That stutter tells her he's got a suspicion.

“…It…gathers information from the timeline once it collapses and travels through Gaia’s lifestream, back to the castor, where it unloads all the information to me, the castor, and then waits for the timeline to collapse again if JENOVA isn’t destroyed. It’s tied to her- _it,_ it’s tied to JENOVA, so when the spell doesn’t detect live JENOVA in Gaia anymore, it ends.”

Maybe she doesn’t have to mention there’s an anchor. When she looks up at Zack, he’s not buying it. Damnit.

“What else, there’s something else you’re not saying.”

“The spell needs an anchor, to find the castor in the next timeline, like wires for a signal-”

She’s said this so many times, mostly to Cloud. Usually, the world ends with just her and Cloud left.

“-once the anchor…dies and passes on into the lifestream, it can find its counterpart, deliver the signal and then pass it to me. Otherwise, the information will just get lost in the lifestream and it could take too long to find. The anchor also…kick starts the timeline into a collapse, deeming it a failure for JENOVA destroyed.”

Please…please don’t ask. _Nobody_ ask her.

“Who’s your anchor?”

It is hard to stop her tears, but she manages. They still swim in her eyes and she sees Tifa move to go to her.

“You are…Cloud.”

She tells them…tells him, how being an anchor works. How he restarts at the same time in every timeline. How that event will never change, it’s the same every time. She doesn’t tell him what it is, but his eyes go bright and then fade into nothing. He knows….

She doesn’t know what she’s expecting. But it stings, when he stands, stares at her like she’s just burned down Nibelheim herself and just…walks out the door. He just _leaves._ He’s never done that. She looks at Zack. He’s not meeting her gaze, but he does touch her shoulder gently when he gets up and chases after Cloud. She doesn’t stop from crying now. There are still things to talk about, things she's aware of, but doesn't know how to get to. Like her Holy materia. It's still not working right. And Meteor... But she’s ripped off the band-aid and the hard part is over.

Tifa finally stands and hugs her close.

It’s very quiet in the room.

***

Zack follows him till they reach the grass fields at the edge of town. Zack tries to reach him through their mind link, but Cloud shuts him out so sharply, it’s static in his ears, painful little jabs. Like Cloud’s telling him to fuck off. Too bad for him, he’s not going too. He keeps his distance though, it’s hard. He wants to go to Cloud badly and hold him close. He’s all hard lines and shaking. He won’t look at him, doesn’t stop walking until they are deep in the grass again.

It’s still a little damp from the rain.

Cloud’s just standing there, his head down and breathing hard. Zack takes a few steps closer. Give him lots of breathing room, but if he leans out and reached, he could touch him. He still says nothing. Just the wind in the trees.

“Cloud…”

“It’s Nibelheim…that’s my starting point. It’s all that _fucking_ mako.”

He’s mad, Zack can't pin-point at what, probably because Cloud doesn't know either. He feels so hollow inside and lost. Zack doesn’t know how to help this kind of hurt, not yet. He doesn’t even know what _this_ is. What Aerith’s talking about, it’s still all processing. Timelines-multiple lives, of them? How is that even possible?

Cloud gasps suddenly, so hard he steps back as if something terrifying has popped up in front of him. For a moment Zack thinks Sephiroth is there, but it’s the mountains and the forest only.

A blast of sadness and panic and pain rushes in Zack’s mind. Cloud’s shaking much harder now, Zack can see it in his movements. He’s thinking something Zack doesn’t know, realizes something Zack can’t see. He steps closer, to the side to try and look at Cloud’s face. He’s trying to hide from Zack, but he catches it. There are tears welling in his eyes and he doesn’t even bother to hold them in. They just start streaming down his face and Zack watches as something just _breaks_ inside Cloud. He clutches at his head, steps back wrong, and goes down into the grass.

Fuck this, Zack goes to him, slides down onto his knees and grabs his hands, tries to keep them from pulling so tightly in his hair. His tears are so many, Cloud keeps trying to hide from him.

“No…no, no. They’re not dreams-”

What?

“-Zack…they’re not dreams. They’re real, it happens so much. It keeps happening…”

He’s mumbling fast and his crying just gets more intense. Zack hates this; he hates this more than anything. Cloud is a step ahead of him in something that’s hurting him and he can’t help him yet.

“-Zack. _You die_ ,” Cloud finally looks up at him, shaking and eyes unfocused. He’s so numb, Zack feels it in his own soul, “you die…you keep dying. It's real.”

Well okay. He’s only getting half of this but; he can’t just let Cloud fall apart, feeling so alone. That's what is being pushed into his mind. Cloud feels so alone. Brings Zack to tears of his own. He pushes in closer, arms tight around him, pulls Cloud’s head to his shoulder, so he can hide and feel safe. His other arm he keeps tight on his small waist, holding him against his body. Traps him between his thighs and just holds on as he breaks against him.

The sun is getting low by the time Cloud calms or runs out of energy. He goes lax against Zack, stops gripping at his back so hard. Zack leans back, to sit on his calves, brings Cloud with him, loosens his hold just a bit, so if Cloud wants to pull away he can. He doesn’t, he follows Zack closer, pulls his arms from his back to grab at his shirt, slides down a bit more, and presses his face into his chest.

Zack felt they finally had less confusion and less muck fucking around in Cloud’s brain. Now it’s all messed up again, Zack's twisting down into that hole too.

It’s not even anyone’s fault. Aerith might think it’s hers, but…how can she control what happens adjacent to them, she can’t really. No…Zack’s sure. Whatever timeline Cloud was in that made him decide to do this. He did it because he’s brave and he cares. Wants people to not suffer. Zack will make sure he’s not suffering here, that he’s not alone, as much as he can. He’s already proud of him. He must have known how much pain he could go through.

To save…everyone, save the whole planet. Save _life._

He didn’t think it’s possible. To love Cloud even more, but here he is, feeling such strong admiration for him, loves him so much it makes all the hollow in his chest disappear.

Zack’s been looking for something to do that for years.

***

Everyone is very kind to her. Reassures her that they’ll do anything to help stop JENOVA, that they believe her and they are all in this till the end.

Barret even asks if it’s alright if he mentions some of this to Avalanche HQ-could get them some extra help. She doesn’t mind, he’s right. If anyone was going to help save the planet, Avalanche is the rebel group to go too. Now that it’s all out in the open too, it needs to be dealt with, they need to stop JENOVA and defeat Sephiroth.

Shit…she didn’t even mention Sephiroth. But she’s guessing that Cloud and Zack can piece that together themselves. She can see Tifa already is when they leave to go to their room, her eyes are calculating and focused. She’s been awesome throughout this whole thing, extra kind, and understanding. Even while she's trying to piece things together.

She’s the best. Seriously the _best_ , Aerith could just kiss her-

Oh-she stops short at that thought. Oh my god, she’s never even realized until now.

Damnit, she wishes Zack wasn’t mad at her, she wants to talk to him about this. Now she just wants to gush about Tifa and Zack’s perfect for gushing. He gushes about Cloud way too much anyway. She wants a turn. She’s giddy all of a sudden and just, _ugh_ , Tifa’s just so pretty and she really, _really_ is the best. She hugs her as she’s closing their door.

“Oop! Hey,” Tifa laughs, pats her forearms, “It’s okay, don’t worry Aerith. Everything will work out. We’ll make sure it does.”

“You’re the best, you know.” Aerith mumbles into the back of her shoulder, “the actual best.”

Tifa laughs again and pulls away from her.

“Come on, let's decide where to eat, I don’t know about you, but I’m starving. I think we deserve some downtime.”

She is too; it’s been a crazy emotional day. That always makes her extra hungry.

“-oh good I could totally go fo-”

There’s a knock at their door that interrupts her.

It’s Cloud. Eyes down and face shadowed. The nerves she had just settled explode all over again. Zack’s leaning against the walkway rail just behind him. He looks…not good, but not as mad. Oh-sad. He looks sad. Aerith feels bad all over again too. Tifa leans around her, sees who it is and just, leaves?

She’s having a very intense eye conversation with Zack.

“Why don’t you two talk, we’ll go eat after? We can wait out here.” She says.

There’s no way she and Zack all decided that in that two-second eye stare. Zack nods his approval, so _okay_. Maybe they did. Impressive. She wants to have eye conversations like that with Tifa.

Cloud walks in, closes the door, and then just stands there and stares at the floor.

Right. _Skittish kitty_ , she keeps forgetting. Her first then.

“I’m sorry.” Well-she is, but she didn’t mean to start with that. She doesn't know where to start. Thanks for being her anchor? For suffering over and over?

“Why,” so quiet, he’s so _so_ quiet, leans back against the door like Aerith’s going to hurt him, “why did you choose me?”

Oh…besides that there was no one else? He’s Cloud. He's brave and stubborn, always wants to stop Sephiroth and JENOVA. He doesn't even think about it when he's faced with them. He just _fights_ and keeps fighting even when he can't anymore. She doesn’t know how to explain it. She shrugs, even though he doesn't see it.

“Cause…it’s you. I didn’t choose you, I just…told you about it and you volunteered.”

“But why…I-I’m not.” He trails off, still won’t look at her.

She gets sadder, he’s not mad at her. Might just be mad, at the unfairness, but she can see, not at her. He thinks he can’t do this. That’s so _stupid_. He’s done it so many times. But…he’s thought that in every timeline. Always tells her he’s sorry he failed her as he dies.

“I’m so sorry, Cloud. I…feel so bad, that you have to do this again. I’d hoped…that it would have helped.”

He finally looks up at her; his eyes aren’t dark and blank like she thought. They look a little sacred and she can see they are red-rimmed. Oh no, he’s been crying. He must know then, about Zack. Why else would he cry? Cloud's strong and always just rolls with life's very hard punches. But when it's Zack...

“What would help?”

It’s her turn to look at the floor, shame maybe. Shame that she can't stop his suffering. She’s not sure Zack is enough to keep him going. He just sounds so defeated.

“My promise,” she says, “you asked…if I could give you Zack. So I did, I’d hoped it would help. You deserve him…”

He inhales, so little and quietly. She can’t look up at him just yet. Odd, how they just keep switching places.

“Y-you saved Zack...”

She doesn’t know what to say. It’s not enough? She should have done more, to ease his suffering. She’s lucky that Zack’s as in love with Cloud as he is in this timeline. There have been timelines where that never happens at all. Maybe…is there something else she can still do, to help him, may-

“Hm!”

He’s rushed forward and pinned her arms to her sides…hugging her.

He’s _hugging_ her. She winces quietly to herself, a little too hard. He’s shaking.

“You gave me Zack.” He mumbles into her shoulder.

Oh! Then? Maybe, she didn’t mess up?

“Thank you.” It’s so quiet and sweet, a little watery.

She wiggles so he loosens his hold a little, so she can get her arms around him and she hugs him back as tightly as she can. Not SOLDIER strong but, she hopes he can feel how much she appreciates him, how much he deserves to be happy. He’s her protector, her Thunder Cloud. She’ll do whatever it takes, after all this.

“Oka-y, you guys didn’t kill each other did you?” Tifa’s voice floats through the door.

It makes her laugh, but Cloud jumps away from her like he’s been burned.

“We good?” She asks sheepishly. She hopes so.

“Are you-you _gave_ me _Zack_.”

“So? Good?” She’s trying to get a smile from him.

Gets way too happy tears shimmering in his eyes instead.

“We’re fucking good for all time.”

Oh-he’d said that in the very beginning too. He really is her Cloud. She beams at him, launches herself at him again.

He gets all weird and shy, kind of hugs her back, and falls against the door before stuttering. Then just, opens the door and slips out like a weird little kid. So adorable.

Yeah. He’s good. He’s the best too.

Tifa sticks her head through, giving her a well placed 'what the fuck' look and tilts her head, “come on, still hungry?” She's trying not to laugh. Probably at Cloud, since he's such a weirdo.

“Starving.”

Cloud’s all pushed against Zack; he’s hiding in his shoulder. Zack seems bewildered, but the sadness isn’t lingering in his eyes anymore. So that’s better too. She wonders how Cloud knows Zack doesn’t live very often in the timelines. Maybe…residual side effect, so close to the time he wakes up? She wants to ask but, his eyes…Cloud’s eyes were so red.

She still feels pretty bad. It’s the worst he’s taken it in any timeline.

They go get eastern style noodles (nice comforting, cheesy noodles, she can’t wait.) at a small place all the way across the town, closer to the reactor site. Cloud unabashedly clings to Zack the whole time. Walks right up against his side, their hips bumping with every step. Heads right to the only booth in the place. When Zack doesn’t sit close enough to him, he just scoots right over into Zack’s side, total blank expression, as if it’s normal for him to be so touchy-feely.

Zack seems worried by it, but she can tell he’s pleased. He’s never shied away from hanging all over Cloud himself.

They don’t talk all that much, lost in their thoughts. Aerith can tell Zack wants to get her alone and talk though. Cloud must have mentioned the dying thing. Every so often Zack will get a weird distant look in his eyes, go all stern and then melt into tenderness as he looks over at Cloud.

It’s a cycle that happens at least twice in an hour, that she sees. Usually, after Cloud brushes against him with his arm, or leans in closer.

When they leave, Cloud lingers behind them, reaching out for Zack’s arm and tugs him back. Aerith and Tifa exchange glances and try not to laugh. Guess that’s the end of their hangout time. It’s alright, it’s still pretty early in the night but Aerith could sleep for days after all that emotional exhaustion.

She and Tifa tease them and say their goodnights.

***

Zack doesn’t mind, that Cloud wants it to just be him and Zack. But he was wanting to pull Aerith aside and talk to her. It’ll have to be tomorrow. Cloud’s been all tight-lipped after he’d just blurted out that he sees Zack die every other night. And then refuses to be more than two inches away from Zack.

He can’t really wrap his head around this timeline parallel thing. He’s just barely understanding what Hojo did to them, now this. Zack blows at the strains of hair that refuse to stay slicked back. They just stubbornly fall back in his eyes.

Also, this Wutai thing. There’s no going back, not now. ShinRa’s got it out for them whether they are in Avalanche or not. The last time Zack was in Wutai, he was slaughtering their people. Doesn’t really matter if Wutai is a tourist destination. SOLDIERS won’t be taken lightly. They are only war heroes in ShinRa’s eyes. To Wutai, SOLDIERS were the greatest enemy.

Cloud’s pulled him back from the girls long enough that they just wave good night to them and walk ahead. He seems to wait till they are too far ahead to move, threads his fingers with Zack’s and pulls him toward his motorcycle. Cloud’s getting shy at weird times, like how he used to kiss. Starts off strong and then just rethinks what he’s doing and close up. He's pulled him to the bike, but now they are just standing there. Zack watching Cloud watch the ground.

“Going for a ride are we?” Zack asks.

It’s warmer than the other night, despite the rain this morning, and the sky has cleared out, shimmering stars and a small sliver of a moon. Cloud goes through too many emotions, it’s all jumbled in his mind and flashes too fast in his eyes for Zack to tell what’s going on with him. He doesn’t say anything, just presses up against Zack, and rises on the pads of his feet.

Oh-right yeah, he wants a kiss. Zack’s been thrown off by how clingy Cloud’s been. Well…from everything really. This has been probably the most intense week of his life. And he just had the worst fucking year of all time. Nothing like topping it off being told you pretty much die in every other timeline.

Zack bets it is on that cliff, a month and a half ago. He knew he felt something change.

Cloud’s grabbing at one of his harness straps, hunching Zack down so he can press harder into their kiss. Yeah, Zack can do this. Just focus on Cloud. He slides his hand along Cloud’s jaw, tilting his head to the side a bit more, so he can slip his tongue between his lips and open him up.

The small moan Cloud lets out cuts a realization into his mind.

He dies…before Cloud even wakes up from his coma. Fucking…he just _dies_ on Cloud. Leaves him alone. He can feel it, is a little afraid to know if it’s true.

A fierce heat of need burns in him, he’s got to have Cloud, more than he ever has before. Needs to know he’s okay, they are together and it’s _fine_. They made it together. He tightens his grip on Cloud’s jaw, pulls him closer with a wrapped arm around his back. Cloud pushes him back against the bike, gets Zack to half sit on it so they are at an even height, leans his full weight on him, arms sliding along Zack’s shoulders. Their kissing turns more aggressive, open-mouthed, and sharp lip bites. Zack knows his own desperate need to just touch is mixing with Cloud’s.

A high sharp whistle breaks them apart, “Hey, I think there’s a room for that,” Jessie’s snickering down at them from the second story of the inn, “like twenty feet from here.” Points with her thumb behind her toward their door. Biggs is with her and he’s kind enough to drag her off by her collar.

Zack forgot they were in the middle of the parking lot. Cloud’s all flustered, but he doesn’t pull away from Zack. The need to be touching him too strong. Zack’s good with that, he always feels like that.

They can go for a ride tomorrow. Zack stands, pulls Cloud with him, mind already fogged by need. They don’t turn the lights on in their room, Zack gently presses Cloud back against the closed door, closing on his lips again.

Immediately tastes tears too.

“Sorry, I’m fine,” Cloud says against him.

He’s not. Zack doesn't want him to lie about it. Thinks he has to hide it from him. Isn't that the point...to have each other? His own chest constricts roughly, in their other parallels, Cloud's alone. Goes through everything, on top of Zack's death, _alone._

“You don’t have to be fine with me, Cloud.”

“I want to be.”

Zack doesn’t understand. He reaches out for Cloud’s mind as he reaches for his skin under his fingertips. He finds nothing but hurting. Leans down and presses his forehead against Cloud's, closes his eyes and tries to figure out how to help, trying to get Cloud to let him in.

There’s a flash of bright white. Zack feels a little colder, draws his eyes open. Cloud’s not in front of him anymore.

He’s nowhere.

Zack is outside, mountains all around him. Different ones then Kalm Towns. Everything looks a tad too glowy. Faint warm crackling. Okay, he’s in Cloud's mind then? Must have tried too hard to read his emotions.

“Cloud?” his voice normally echoes in his mind.

Now it carries on a light breeze. He’s pulled to the forest line, down the way a bit. The more he walks, he recognizes. Nibelheim, of course. A constant for Cloud. A little surprising it’s his chosen mind space, considering. But maybe, Cloud’s a bit more in love with the mountains then Zack thought.

The tree line is all oak and is lacking just enough color to look a little off, but so does everything else.

Except the sky, the sky is nice and bright blue. Zack would have thought the mountains, but-

There he is. Cloud’s laying on the grass under the trees, sunlight casting leaf patterns over him. He looks like he’s sleeping, but when Zack leans over him, his chest rising and falling isn’t even enough for sleep.

“Hey you, what'cha doing, hiding from me?”

Cloud’s eyes dilate with the speed they open, “Zack!” such a contrast in his voice. So happy.

Zack smiles down at him, “yeah, hey Beautiful.”

Cloud’s sitting up, neck strained back, looking straight up at him. Zack chuckles, leans down just a bit more to kiss him. Cute, so cute.

When he pulls back to help Cloud up, a weird fading at the edge of the trees catches his gaze. The sky darkens the moment Zack notices it.

“No,” Cloud says, his voice isn’t happy anymore, “don’t go there, Zack.”

He wasn’t going too but, it looks odd, like the landscape is changing.

“Zack, don’t.” Cloud’s grabbing onto his arm, worry all over his face.

“It’s okay, come on.”

Zack feels like his answers are over there. He pulls Cloud up with him.

“No!”

It startles him, brings all his focus right back to Cloud. He’s shaking, he’s mad. Mad at _Zack_. The sky gets even darker, thunder rolls over ahead.

Cloud’s eyes go all blank and he collapses.

“Cloud!” Shit, Zack hopes he’s not hurting him. Maybe he should leave, pull out of his mind.

Another roll of thunder and a sweeping wave of wind knocks all the trees from around them, pulls in dust and cracked earth. The desert. Zack’s heart starts pounding in his chest. This is…what Cloud doesn’t want him to see. Everything is just a tad blurry, like he’s far away, not really his memories, or even Cloud’s.

Midgar’s in the distance and those rain clouds keep getting darker, keep rolling in. A greenish-haze covers everything. Smells kind of minty too.

“Z-zack.” So soft, and vulnerable sounding. He’s never heard Cloud like that.

He’s not expecting to turn and find himself staring at…himself, bleeding out on the ground.

Cloud’s there, but not for him…for the dying him. Zack feels like he can’t hear anything but Cloud. His confused breathing, his whispery words.

“The both of…us?”

Starts pouring and everything gets more green. He thinks he can taste the mint now, faintly on the back of his tongue.

Cloud’s crying, Zack’s own blood in his hair, and on his cheek. Zack’s heart beats painfully as he watches Cloud scream into the rain, gripping his buster sword in his hands.

He’s zapped sharply with static and everything goes blinding white.

Just a blink and Zack’s standing still in their room at the inn. Cloud’s not in front of him. Where? He’s a little hazy from the mind sharing.

He’s there, just sitting on the ground, against the door, curled into his drawn-up knees.

Shit. Zack knew that fucking cliff was his end. Not here, not in this timeline. He feels a headache pressure coming on. All this timeline stuff, it’s mingling in their lives in ways Zack’s not expecting. Has been since...probably since Nibelheim.

Zack sits on the floor in front of Cloud, rests his legs on either side of him, feet against the door. He slides his hands around Cloud’s calves and pulls himself closer to him.

“Cloud.”

He gets a head shake.

“Come on, look at me. I’m sorry.”

He didn’t mean to pry. He just…he doesn’t know how to help. Fuck, he may have made things worse. They really need to work on the more intense part of this connection. Zack’s starting to feel a lot of damage could accidentally happen.

“Cloud.” He rubs his thumbs along his calves, he leans in a bit closer, “I’m right here.”

“You weren’t supposed to look.” Cloud mumbles into his knees.

Damn, Zack really messed up. Cloud’s head shoots up right after that thought.

“No,” he says and shifts forward, falling into Zack’s arms, “you didn’t. It’s fine.”

Zack feels like it’s not, but there are no conflicting feelings in their connection. Great. Now they are just back where they started a week ago, lost together.

At least…they _are_ together. Zack tightens his arms around Cloud, sighs when Cloud’s sliding his own below his underarms and up around his back. Stay there on the floor for a while.

Zack has to laugh, when they wake in the middle of the night. They totally fell asleep on the floor. He hadn’t even noticed.

***

Cloud wakes, surprisingly well-rested. No lingering want of more sleep, no struggle to come back from dreaming. Which he didn’t, surprising, after that mind prying Zack did. Cloud doesn't even understand how he's got memories of his counterpart. It's just that one, all green hazed, the same. He'd just thought it was dreams. He hopes Zack isn't too disturbed. Cloud's not sure he'd want to see himself die. He shifts, pushing against the warmth around him. Zack’s curled against his back, spooning him in his arms.

Cloud flushes with embarrassment the longer he lays awake. He can’t believe he was that emotional yesterday. He thought the day before had been bad. He’s really tired of whatever is wrong with him, it keeps poking at his ability to hide.

He’s not going to be able to look anyone in the face for days now. _Days._

Zack mumbles something in his sleep against his neck, curls down around Cloud some more, and his arms flex tighter around his waist. Cloud sighs. Feels his eyes getting tight.

He slips out from under Zack’s arms and pads quietly into the bathroom, splashes cold water on his face.

He needs to get it together. What Aerith said about JENOVA…it’s not hard to connect the dots even though she didn’t mention Sephiroth at all.

Is that what happened in Nibelheim, did Sephiroth really just go insane from finding out about his past? There’s got to be more, has to be JENOVA influencing him? Or…is Sephiroth even Sephiroth anymore. Cloud remembers the whole thing now, he threw him into the lifestream. He’s dead.

_Puppet._

He thought at first Sephiroth kept calling him that.

But it’s been JENOVA the whole time. He swallows thickly, the JENOVA cells inside him; they affect him worse than others. He can feel it. At ShinRa, when that JENOVA creature had grabbed him. It was screaming in his head, screaming for him to obey, to be its puppet. He dry heaves a bit, presses his lips to stop the feeling.

All that black liquid had burned so bad. Cloud remembers it very clearly, JENOVA made sure he did. It wanted inside of him so badly. Control over him. Why?

Because…does it know? That he’s Aerith’s anchor? Know what they have been planning for timelines. How, Cloud’s barely even aware of what is going on. The look on Aerith’s face at the meeting yesterday, he doubts she has much more insight. She had said…it comes to her randomly, sometimes too late.

Then JENOVA must be nervous about something. Using Sephiroth too? Is he…just a puppet as well?

Cloud feels sort of bad, sorry for him even.

He needs to find out more. Just walking around blind. He needs to…find Sephiroth. Of all the dumb things, the time he actually needs to be stalked by that creepier. No static from him for days, now it’s just Zack. Fucking sweet Zack. Zack’s been so gentle with him, careful enough to tell him what he can piece together about them, but Cloud feels he’s holding things back. Is he worried Cloud can’t handle it? Or he’s just unsure if it’s true?

Cloud splashes his face again. Time to actually keep it together now, for longer than a day.

Zack can’t keep holding his hand all the time. He’s hurting too, Cloud can feel it, he pushes it out of their connection quickly, so Cloud won’t notice. It’s not fair, and Cloud can’t just take and take from him. He’s-

-awake. Sitting against the pillows and the backboard.

“Hey, you okay?” Zack asks. Cloud’s stomach flips, always checking on him.

He nods comes back to the bed. Zack’s reaching out and slipping his hand into Cloud’s.

“Nauseous?” he asks.

“I’m good, Zack.”

Before Zack can argue or poke around in his brain, Cloud climbs onto the bed, straddles Zack’s lap. Zack's hands are immediately on his bare skin. Firm pressure on his waist, sliding around to the small of Cloud’s back. He's staring up at Cloud, always with the staring.

“You’re so beautiful, Cloudy-Sky,” Zack says.

Even if Cloud wanted too, he can’t stop the blush rising on his face. Zack’s got zero hesitation talking like that. It doesn’t even sound dumb. From anyone else, Cloud would hate it. Sounds so stupid. But Zack…just sounds right in his voice, in his inflection, knows how to tell Cloud embarrassing things without it being… so embarrassing. It still is a little, but that’s just Cloud being awkward. He knows he is. Teased endlessly about it as a kid, even as a cadet. Fuck, even _now._

He’s thought about it more than once. Does Zack…does he want Cloud to talk like that to him? He can’t imagine saying anything like that. He gets all flustered just thinking how attractive Zack is. Why would he want to tell him? Then he’d _know._

Cloud reaches up slow, traces his fingers over Zack’s lips. He doesn’t miss the way his icy eyes widen. Cloud knows he should probably touch Zack more, _first._ He should instigate more. Zack’s always starting everything, always taking control, making him fall apart. Cloud knows that Zack feels good with him, but.

He wants to make Zack fall apart too. He’s just…super bad at it, because it’s all _embarrassing._

Cloud rolls his eyes at himself. Seriously, he’s such a freaking loser. He should just stop thinking about it and do it. He’s worn a fucking dress, in _public_ and he gets all shy about touching Zack?

With Zack it’s a guarantee he’ll love whatever Cloud does to him. He’s pretty sure if he punched him out Zack would be ecstatic about it. He certainly loved that blow job back at Wall Market. Cloud blushes a bit more. He still can’t believe he did that either. It's not so hard, once they start, Cloud gets lost in all the haziness, doesn't have time to be shy. Just...the starting, so difficult for him.

Zack’s rubbing little circles into the dip of his back with his thumbs. Feels encouraging. Staring at him with too much happiness on his face.

He traces his lips again, stares into his eyes, Cloud knows he likes that. Zack’s breath catches in his chest this time, so Cloud does it again, more pressure slides his fingers over to his jaw. Cloud loves that scar on his jaw, taps his fingertips against it before he leans in, settles into Zack’s lap and kisses him softly. He can do this, it’s fine. It’s not so mortifying when he’s not thinking about it.

Zack’s already moving his hands around on his body. Cloud knows where he’s going, fingers skimming down the curve of his ass.

“No,” Cloud pulls back just enough to look into Zack’s eyes. Grabs his hands and puts them back on his waist, “keep them here.” He's got to do this, he's done it before, he doesn't need the mind-numbing pleasure for him to instigate.

Zack’s eyes widen a bit more; he swallows loudly, “Okay Beautiful. I can do that.”

“You better,” Cloud says and pushes right back in for more kissing. Harder this time, like Zack does when he’s extra turned on.

Zack moans instantly, hands tightening on his waist, but he doesn’t move them. Good. Cloud rewards him, slipping his tongue in his mouth rather roughly, rubs his hands up Zack’s chest. He’s a lot more toned than he is, which is saying a lot. Cloud knows what he looks like.

Zack’s just, more massive. His muscles are bigger, wider, fills out his broad shoulders.

Cloud pulls away, taking Zack’s bottom lip with him in a gentle bite. Zack’s eyes flutter and Cloud gets another deep moan from him. Okay, he gets why Zack is always trying to wreck him. Its fun, feels good, that he can make Zack feel like this. He pokes at their mind link, feels Zack brimming with happiness and building heat. It's even more encouraging than his hands at his waist.

He drags his lips softly down his chin, nudges Zack to tilt his head back. He does, Cloud feels the tiny smirk on his lips.

His hands slide up and rub the tendons in Zack’s neck, pressing just the barest lip pressure down his adam's apple, dragging to his clavicle. Cloud loves that little thin scar there too, dips in the middle of his collarbones. He flattens his tongue against it.

Zack actually squirms under his thighs. Cloud laughs a bit, lifts his body from Zack’s lap, and gets an actual _whine_. Whining at him deep in his throat. He just wants to move the covers out of the way, shit. Zack’s kinda needy. Cloud nips at his neck for it, not really expecting the jerk Zack’s body does. It's hot, Cloud does it again as he gets all of Zack’s skin exposed. Lowers himself back down, a little closer this time, so the hard line of Zack’s thick cock is pressing against the curve of his ass. Zack moans like Cloud just took him fully inside his body. Starts a heat low in his stomach, so Cloud rolls his hips backward, giving Zack some more friction.

Gets an even deeper moan, more throaty. Cloud’s own cock twitches at that.

Zack’s been good, still keeping his hands on Cloud’s waist, just changing the pressure. He kisses him again, backs away when Zack tries to deepen it. Gets whined at again. Cloud laughs.

“Damn, you’re such a little tease.” Zack huffs out, eyes all lust-filled. A tease, huh?

Cloud leans back in, ever so close, softly smiles, and just _lingers_. Zack breathes harder every second that goes by, his fingertips dig hard into the valley of his hips bones.

“You gonna kiss me anytime soon Cloud?”

Cloud laughs again and does. Just another small one, Zack’s groaning all over again.

“Come on, beautiful, I need a little more, you’re being too gentle.”

Is he? Cloud slowly rubs at Zack’s chest again, pulls away with a smirk, and just shoves Zack back into the pillows and headboard.

Zack’s gasp gets knocked out of him and Cloud drives forward, nipping and shoving his tongue inside Zack’s mouth, gets his hands in his hair and tugs just a bit too roughly. Cloud lets him kiss back just as aggressively, but that’s it. Hands have to stay where they are, and he presses down on Zack’s body from just a bit higher, so he’s got better leverage.

Pulls away when Zack’s just really getting into it. Yet another whine.

“Ugh, seriously,” Zack’s gasping, Cloud feels his thighs shake under him, “fucking, come on.”

But, teasing him is so fun. Cloud _never_ gets to tease anyone. Mostly cause he’s dumb and doesn’t realize all the traps he walks himself into. Cloud lifts up and stands to the floor, Zack’s hands leaving his hips. Zack moans so loud and disappointingly, Cloud can’t stop the laugh from his chest.

“I’m just getting lube.” Cloud disappears into the bathroom, knows he saw some in here, and comes back out in less than five seconds.

Zack’s gripping the sheets and breathing hard through his nose. Cloud doesn’t feel that bad, it’s hilarious, he didn’t think Zack would get so…desperate for him. He climbs back onto his lap, making sure to slide his body down along Zack’s. He gets warm, callused hands back on his waist, and a sigh of relief against his skin.

“You’re killing me, Cloudy-sky.”

“Hmmm, maybe,” Cloud leans in for a kiss as he opens the lube, “you’re,” reaches behind him and slips out Zack’s hard cock, “just”, dumps the whole tube on him, “impatient.” One more kiss.

He better hurry and get Zack inside him, he looks like he’s going to hyperventilate, or just give up on Cloud's little game and flip them. Cloud doesn't want that, he wants to take care of Zack this time. He grasps the base of Zack’s cock, keeping him straight and lowers back onto him. He takes Zack’s thick cock in one smooth move down, falls into his lap nice and flat. Cloud’s eyes flutter, head tilting back at the sudden intense pressure, Zack always feels so good inside him, even with the burn of no stretching beforehand.

Zack’s fucking moaning like he came already, head pushed back against the bed board. Cloud shifts a bit, places his hands on the headboard too, on either side of Zack so he can move nice and smooth. Zack slides down a bit, so when Cloud rocks up, pulling himself almost all the way off Zack’s cock, he’s looking down into his eyes. So intense, icy and hot, always both.

Cloud’s slow, taking Zack over and over again in a slow slide down and a slow roll-up, makes sure to rock back onto his cock before lifting his hips again. He bites his lip to keep his own voice in, he wants to hear Zack. Sounds go straight to his own cock, he’s already dripping.

Zack’s legs are shaking under his and his moans get more needy and breathless the more Cloud stays at his slow pace.

“Please,” Zack mutters, his lips are hovering near Cloud’s neck, “please beautiful, _more_. You gotta give me a little more.” He sounds wrecked, gasps surrounding his words.

Cloud can't hold in his own moan, Zack's begging for him. _Fuck._

Cloud drops his arms on Zack’s shoulders, buries his hands in his long dark hair, and presses even closer to him. He starts rocking his hips faster, doesn’t pull up as much, keeps Zack deeper inside him. Zack’s been so good, letting Cloud do what he wants, letting him push past his shyness. He slips his hips just a tad more up and when he rolls down, Cloud’s vision blurs a bit. There, that’s the spot, right _there_. Cloud feels himself tighten all around Zack’s cock, spasms as he takes him in and rocks up, a nice easy slide.

“Fine,” Cloud pants, quickening his pace even more, “you can move your hands.” He says against Zack’s ear.

Zack takes that as more control, shifts down a bit more and really gets deep inside Cloud, his thighs moving up to support Cloud, knees bent and spreads his legs just a bit so Cloud’s got a wider base to rock against.

Zack’s hands are non-stop skimming his skin, tracing his spine and his shoulder blades, pressing against him, encouraging him to keep moving.

Cloud’s getting real tight around Zack now, he can feel the pressure becoming too much, so he just starts rocking as fast as his leverage will let him. Let’s Zack fuck up into him at the end, he’s moaning so loud in Cloud’s neck. Just a few more hips rolls and Cloud feels him tense up. He shoves his face into Cloud’s shoulder and stills, deep in him. Cloud can feel him coming inside, more than usual, bringing a flushing heat to his cheeks, all along his neck. Cloud’s spent, even though he hasn’t come, still hard and dripping. He just drapes himself against Zack, letting him wrap his large arms around his middle and squeeze him.

Zack’s still breathing hard. Cloud’s a little proud of himself, usually, he’s the one gasping forever afterward, totally ruined and fucked out. Still is a little. They lay close for a few minutes and then Zack’s shifting them, rolls Cloud onto his back, and hovers over him. His eyes are even more intense, glowing brighter in the dark. He’s still breathing a little hard, but he’s leaning down and sliding his tongue inside Cloud’s mouth. His hands wandering again, already spreading his legs, pushing them up and back.

Cloud sighs against Zack’s mouth.

“You really are so good to me,” Zack’s saying, pressing wet kisses into his skin. He’s hard again, _already_. His cock heavy and thick against his entrance, “felt amazing, you fucking tease.”

Cloud’s laugh is dwindled in his breathlessness, Zack’s wrapping a hand around his cock, pumping up slow.

“Can I fuck you again? You’re still ready to.”

Zack’s really talkative this morning, but maybe it is cause Cloud isn’t immediately lost in a pleasure haze, just a nice constant buzz. Usually, he hears Zack’s tenor but doesn’t piece together his words.

Zack’s rubbing his cock against his entrance, staring intently into his eyes and waiting for an answer. Cloud can’t help his gasp, even when Zack’s not wrecking him; he’s still breaking him apart in some other way. He does want Zack to fuck him again, his cock is twitching in Zack’s grip. Comes more often than not, untouched, just with Zack buried inside. Cloud’s shuttering at the thought, Zack’s small laugh is close in his ears.

“You thinking about it, huh?” Zack’s still stroking him, slow, rubs his thumb in his pre-come when he spills out, “you always get so wet when you want me inside you.”

This is why Cloud can’t take control so often; he must just block it out, the mortifying shyness that erupts in his stomach whenever Zack starts the fucking dirty talking. The first time…he remembers Zack fucking him the first time he got all embarrassed with the dirty talking too. It's also so mild, not really even dirty talking. He wants to hide his face, so stupid.

“Z-zack,” he’s going all hazy already, focusing way too much on Zack’s cock just pressing against him. On his looming shoulders and strong arms, better than the embarrassment. He gives in fast to the haze.

Zack’s pressing in, Cloud has to grab onto him, grip hard on his forearm, feels the muscles flex as Zack keeps pushing in. Feels deeper than he’s ever been. Feels like that every time, even so close after each other. Let’s his legs be pulled to rest over Zack’s cut hips. Zack likes this way a lot, so he can grab at his thighs, at his ass and just pull him into his thrusts.

“I’m up here beautiful,” and the eye contact.

It’s probably Zack’s favorite thing, every time Cloud locks eyes with him, sex or not, he gets a wave of uniquely Zack type of joy. All excited and breathless, busting with sunlight and addictive tenderness.

Zack leans in, rolls his hips up, still slowly stroking Cloud, “come on now. You fucking stared into my eyes the whole time just ten minutes ago.”

So much _talking._ He looks up into Zack’s face anyway. Zack’s blinding smile will never get old, eases aches in Cloud’s body he didn’t even know he was feeling. He reaches up, pushes his thump at the corner of Zack’s mouth, gets his eyes widening again.

“Zack,” He barely manages to gain control over his gasping, “shut up and _fuck_ me.” His voice is biting, but he’s tracing Zack’s jaw scar with soft touches.

It’s earning him all the tenderness Zack knows how to give, which is so much. He leans in and kisses Cloud, bumps their noses together like they are cuddling and his cock isn’t shoved up inside Cloud. So tender, Cloud just pushes his fingers harder against Zack’s jaw.

“You got it,” Zack says as he’s rolling up, nice even, wide rolls. Stutters his hips in a vibrating thrust at the end of each one. Hits the best spot inside Cloud for just the right amount of time, at the right pressure.

Enough to feel amazing, but doesn’t push him into a blissful fog. Zack keeps at it for a long time, building Cloud’s pressure steadily. The sun’s rising before it starts to be too much, drifts in through their window and blankets Zack’s skin, makes him all soft and warm looking. He breathes out a staggering moan, shutting his icy eyes for a moment.

“Getting real tight, beautiful. You still haven’t come yet,”

Cloud can’t look in his eyes when he says shit like this. Stares at all the thin white scars scattered along his left side. He traces them to keep him grounded, so he doesn’t just fall into a pleasure bliss-mind, deeper into it anyway. Who is he kidding, he's already there. He wants Zack to be in him for longer, keep stroking him, there’s so much pre-come on him, he may as well just had his orgasm. Making everything so slick.

“Don’t ‘anna,” Cloud mutters through the pulses of Zack’s hips.

Zack laughs through his next moan, leans down to press their heads together, “you don’t –ah, fuck, wanna come?”

He’ll blame it all later on stupid sex endorphins, “Want you…in me ‘orever.” He can barely string words together, the steady build pushing him into hovering between bliss and reality. He's completely lost in it.

“Are you- _fuck_ ,” Zack’s hips stutter harder, his body jerking in surprise, “fuck I love you. So sweet, Cloud.”

Damn, it’s those embarrassing three words again. They just demolish Cloud, finish him off so sweetly and sudden. He arches up, grabbing at Zack’s biceps, skin all warmed from the sunlight and comes staring into his eyes. Zack’s stilling in him, came again inside and pressing their foreheads harder together. Zack doesn't fall against him, he just keeps tracing all the dips and rises on Cloud's body. Waits for Cloud to get out of his head to smile at him and kiss him. Only then, Zack pulls out and shifts them.

They curl up together for a while until the shadows are shorter and the sun is higher.

Zack fucks him again after they’ve both been warmed by the light.

And then again an hour later too. He’s keeping him in the bed, all trembling and relaxed, just when he’s almost down from the last; he’s all over and in him again. Cloud lets him until he really just can’t anymore. Mumbles, “too much, Zack, Can’t any longer,” into Zack’s neck after the last time.

The day is half over by then. Cloud can't really move his body anymore, so they stay on top of the sheets anyway. Zack lazily traces his muscles, tickles his ribs softly. Eventually, his hands still, body falling into sleep, curled in along Cloud's back. Same way he woke up. Leaves him to his thoughts in the silence again.

Wutai is looming in their immediate future. Cloud’s not sure what to think. He doesn’t like the way Zack had tensed up at the news. And Biggs’s words echo in his mind-all those weeks ago, helping Jessie get better blasting agents.

Not everyone wanted the war to be over.

***

Cissnei’s getting nowhere. Tseng seems determined to keep her busy with this new agent, Elena. She’s fine, a little too eager maybe, but then most new agents are. Just like all the new SOLDIER boys rolling out of Hojo’s lab. Not that there have been too many lately, or any at all. Hojo seems…even more unhinged. She swears she’s heard him laughing to himself in the lunchroom.

Tseng won’t meet her eyes every time she brings up Zack. They still owe him, this ShinRa business of keeping secrets within departments is dangerous and damaging. She's disliked the way the company was headed for five long years now, the major screw over to Zack…to Angeal and Genesis.

Sephiroth…

She’s just finishing up Elena’s latest debriefing on her combat training and her first –feel for the field- mission with Reno. At least Elena complained the whole time about Reno being a smart-mouth, she laughs quietly, reading some of Elena’s notes. They get pretty aggressive about Reno’s…wardrobe choice.

She’s requested Tseng drop by, but that was hours ago and she knows a dismissal. He’s ‘too’ busy being Rufus’s lap dog.

She doesn’t know who she started hating more, Rufus or his father. At least…no. In the end, they are very similar. Rufus just thinks using fear tactics gets better results.

He’d still drop a whole plate on 100,000’s of innocent people too.

“Ugh,” She clicks under her tongue, suddenly raging.

Maybe she can sneak into Tseng’s office and poke around a bit. If he’s so busy getting fucked by Rufus, he shouldn't be there. She just can’t figure out what Tseng’s angle is. Did a one-eighty on Zack, suddenly not bothered to care what happens to him, at all, good or bad.

Why, cause that girl? Aerith Gainsborough, he keeps calling her the ancient.

Back to all that bullshit then.

Maybe that’s where Tseng and the rest differ, since the beginning even. Cissnei remembers when Tseng was running and gunning with them out on the field, equals. Spouting things about life force and the goddess Gaia and her will for the Promised Land from the ancients. Even if this girl was one…how messed up, to think that she needs to prioritize the needs of ShinRa. By force no less.

She’s lucky, it’s just shy of being too late, so most of the agents are gone and with Elena trying to be perfect, she won’t be bothering her or Tseng. His office is empty, but his computers are still on. Maybe she won’t need a passcode.

She gets red flashing. _Damnit_ , okay. Maybe she does need a passcode. She shuffles around his papers, a few files on old cases, one on Sephiroth that she skims through. Nothing new, just the same old same old, ShinRa’s beloved war hero, died in a tragic reactor meltdown that ‘killed’ the whole town of Nibelheim. At least…that’s what the Turks say. The rest of the world…doesn’t know it ever happened. And then the few that know what really did happen. There's that rage coming up again, it's all just lies. She’d hoped, maybe, a detail she skipped that would let her know why Sephiroth just lost it. But nothing, he’s just labeled deceased, tragic mental degrade.

She’s getting blocked at every turn. It’s frustrating. She throws the file back onto the desk, not caring that Tseng will notice it’s out of order.

A shiny reflection catches her eye just as she’s about to leave, a lab pass.

“Yes!” She says under her breath, a lab pass for Hojo’s lab, for the whole week. She nicks it and takes off before Tseng just shows up.

She’s never been inside Hojo’s main lab. There are rumors and the few times Reno and Rude had gone in…they are quiet for days after. She can’t imagine what makes Reno quiet. She braces herself and slips inside the large, dark doors. She can smell it immediately, mako. Not as strong as the reactors, but it tingles her nose and her eyes. Seems no one is on the first level, and by the time she’s made it up towards Hojo’s private office, she’s near nausea. This place is horrifying. Creatures in mako tanks, too many ‘test subjects’ that look entirely too human…but not.

All the weird JENOVA labels everywhere and the things inside look so grotesque and alien. Sends shivers all along her arms the longer she looks at them.

Her luck is holding out, the pass even gets her into Hojo’s private office. Must have been issued from Rufus himself then. Hojo’s not even there, all alone she is, with his secrets and reports.

She works fast, looks for anything to do with Sephiroth first, after all, Tseng has appointed her on the task force of finding out the mysterious appearance of ShinRa’s war hero. Maybe she can get a one-up on Reno and Rude too. Not they are really busting their asses to figure out what the hell is going on.

She's not able to get into the encrypted files, just the ones that are more limited. It's better than nothing.

She gets a lot of sad reports, sad to her, of all the experimenting and tests Hojo’s done on Sephiroth, dating years back, when he was just a _child_. Too many, Hojo…seems obsessed with him. States over and over, the perfect SOLDIER. His notes get increasingly scattered and malicious, dark even, on his ‘journey’ to create the perfect SOLDIER, modeled after Sephiroth, after…the ancients? It comes out of nowhere, mentioned a few times in his very early reports about Sephiroth and then nothing about them. Dating, maybe…maybe almost fifteen years ago, just a massive explosion about ancients and this JENOVA.

All of it’s horrifying to read. Seeing where the experiments start crossing over onto all SOLDIERS, not just Sephiroth and a few select first class. None of it gives her clues about where he is, or why he would take the main source of JENOVA cells. Or even how he’s still alive. It’s all just vague enough that she’s got no new information.

It does make her question even stronger why the hell she’s still working at this place.

And then, the very last few reports catch her eye. JENOVA and Zack Fair’s name crossing. The newest.

There’s video…it’s the most rage-filled ten minutes. It’s all she can stand to watch out of the hours and hours of it. The screaming…from that Strife kid.

Oh god, and she hadn’t really believed Zack in the beginning, of the horrific things Hojo was doing in Nibelheim.

She leaves, gained nothing but useless knowledge that only rages her on in disgust.

She needs access to Rufus Shinra’s personal files. That will give her a direction, something.

She can’t imagine why he’s kept the city on lockdown, seems to be hunting for something. It’s not for Zack and she really doubts it's Sephiroth, otherwise her, Rude and Reno wouldn’t be throwing their hours away tracking him down themselves.

No Rufus is looking for something, the same thing as Tseng? That girl? Or the JENOVA body that’s still missing.

She heads back to her own office, feeling like she’s still treading water. She can try again tomorrow, Elena has got another training session with Reno. That will free up her day at least a bit. If she acts a tad aloof, maybe she can skip out on her meeting with Tseng too.

After all, he’s decided anything she requests is not worth his time.

Her computer is beeping at her as she’s gathering her things, a small little light flashing. Not in the mood to answer any more e-mails about how Tseng’s been defecting everyone to her and Rude, or fucking _Reno_ passing on one more chain-link about how her mom’s going to die if she doesn’t send it to five other people she knows.

She swears, Reno is just getting worse every year.

Something’s telling her, she should just check anyway.

If it’s fucking Reno though-

It’s not, she almost would say it’s spam, but it’s a ShinRa issued email.

All it says:

_-I know how to get what you are looking for._

_Come to the records floor-first thing tomorrow: 6:00 AM._

_-A fellow employee in contempt._

“Huh.”

It can’t hurt. The records floor, Midgar’s mayor’s office is on that floor.

Maybe she can dig up something there if it turns out to be a bust. There’s got to be old information that the higher-ups have forgotten about, hidden in all those data books.

Until then, a good nights rest will help her growing headache.

“Just hold on, Zack.” She thinks, stares out into the shimmery lights of the city as the elevator takes her down to the lobby.

***

Barret is knocking on their door pretty early come Friday morning. Doesn’t give much thought for other residents at the inn before hollering loudly through the wood.

“Chopper’s inbound, fifty minutes Mutts.”

Zack whines out an ‘ugh’ and smashes his face down into Cloud’s chest. He was just about to get Cloud all good and excited for an awesome morning fuck, but n-o. Cloud’s chuckle is soft and kind in his ears, followed by tender fingers digging through Zack’s hair. He’s curling around Zack, lifting his knees to trap Zack between his thighs.

“Think I’m still a little sore from yesterday anyway, Zack.” He says, all happy and low.

Yeah, yesterday was awesome. He wants that every day, just to spend it inside Cloud, making him feel good and loved. Zack lifts his head just a tiny bit to re-smash his face. Having nothing to do really does just turn him into a horny- can’t think of anything except Cloud’s everything-crazy person. It’s probably good that Aerith’s just dumped the end of the world scenario on them and that their little friend group is the one responsible for stopping it. Nothing like an apocalyptic warning in advance to smack the dullness out of the days.

Not that the last week has been dull.

Cause being with Cloud is never dull.

Being with Cloud is the best.

Being inside him is even better.

Fuck…maybe he should-

“Zack, stop.” Cloud’s laughing at him, squeezes around him with his legs, “You’re making my head spin.”

“M’ sorry,” he mumbles into Cloud’s skin. He’s noticed he doesn’t run off on tangents as much since their mind link has grown stronger. Probably good, he’d drive Cloud crazy, used to drive himself crazy.

“Up,” Cloud’s gently lifting him at his shoulders, “I wanna shower.”

He quickly stops Cloud’s movement, arms going tight around his waist, “only if I can shower with you.”

“…we’ll miss the chopper.”

“I’ll be good, I promise.”

Cloud’s eyeing, clearly disagreeing, but lets Zack follow him into the bathroom anyway. They don’t miss the chopper, but Cloud’s got to drive his bike a little faster than necessary to the reactor, so they _do_ make it on time. Zack wasn’t as behaved as he promised. But whatever, Cloud’s nice and calm, pushing waves of satisfaction at him.

Everyone is already there, the chopper has landed on the old ShinRa landing pad. It’s huge, an old-style helicopter that ShinRa hasn’t used since the war. Built for massive trooper numbers and large mobile mech drops. Cloud’s bike will fit no probably, along with all ten of them, and whatever Avalanche members are running around in there. It’s odd, seeing strangers saluting Barret and calling him ‘sir’ the second they see him. Clearly, everyone at this base has been informed of the change.

Zack’s interest is also peeked by the very military way things seem to be running. This Avalanche cell has uniforms, actual military uniforms on, and a red armband with their logo. Everyone carries rifles and sidearms, fitted out in bulletproof of vests and armor for the more advanced looking members.

Zack’s pulled back years, suddenly kicking into war-time mode. Feels like it’s never ended all of a sudden.

It’s also kicking in his protective streak. He’s practically blocking Cloud with every step, shielding him for no reason. They are just barely on the chopper, just getting off the bike and setting it in the far corner, Cloud’s strapping it down so it won’t slide around on the ride to Wutai. He doesn’t miss the weird-amused looks he’s getting from their small Avalanche group, or the softer sadder eyes Aerith is giving him. He must be remaindering her of something from a different timeline.

Seriously, it’s such a weird thought. That it’s even true. Zack still hasn’t processed everything. Still needs to get Aerith alone and chat with her.

The chopper’s got lots of room and it’s filled with groups of supply crates, half of them look ShinRa stolen. He eyes a few Avalanche members re-tugging the boxes into their strap downs. He hopes they scanned for bugs in all those crates, at the very least, located the tracking beeper on all of them. He’s tempted to say something, but the looks he gets from everyone.

Already, they are suspicious of him.

It’s the SOLDIER eyes. More than the uniform he’s still running around in. It is always the eyes that disturbed his enemies. He and Cloud are going to be targets. They’ll have to be extra careful, in the beginning anyway. Depends on how long they are even staying in Wutai. Barret had said ‘temporary’.

He shuffles more in front of Cloud as they walk deeper into the chopper. Feels a zap of ‘what the fuck Zack,’ in his head too. He’s probably keeping Cloud from moving at his full stride.

Jessie’s waving them over, near the front, next to one of the side doors. Biggs and Wedge are speaking with a few other members, seeming to know them, Marlene high on Wedge’s shoulders. Zack’s not sure a kid should be running around, but Barret can’t keep leaving his daughter places, too unstable. Barret’s already upfront, talking with the pilots. Tifa and Aerith are huddled with Red near Jessie, looking out the open door at the scenery.

“You know,” Jessie says, smirking at Cloud’s refusal to look up from the floor, “Every time you guys are late now, we’re all going to know why.”

“We’re not late.”

Tifa laughs, “Almost though. Barret had to tell the pilots to slow up on warming the chopper back up.”

Right on cue, the rushing sound of the blades start-up, kicking up dust and dirt from the reactor ruined earth. Clears out of their lungs and eyes quickly as the wind rushes in and the chopper lifts suddenly from the ground. That’s it then, they are officially going to be on ShinRa’s shit list. Sealing the deal with this Avalanche business. Zack’s good and ready, itching to start getting some payback. Sights dead set on Hojo. He’s going to get that bastard. He must be pushing his revenge rage to Cloud too strongly, feels him lean his head between his shoulder blades, even gets Cloud’s arms around his waist. Squeezing him in a concerned touch.

Barret wanders back and forth a lot before coming over and tells them it’s going to be a few long hours before they reach Wutai. That’s all though, no new information. They all settle in the seats against the walls. Zack lets Cloud take the closest seat to the doorway, so he can look out at the landscape. Wutai is all mountains and high plateaus. He’ll love it.

Humid though, Zack remembers that, already feels the sweat pooling at the small of his back. Good thing it’s fall and not the middle of summer. Cloud’s not particular on heat either, running around Nibelheim in just his cadet uniform, Zack remembers being amazed he wasn’t frozen solid.

They curve around Midgar within the first hour. It’s weird, seeing the city so tiny, pulls all of Zack’s conflicted feelings on ShinRa and SOLDIER and just…everything. But it’s short and fleeting, soon they are over endless blue water, sparkling in the sunlight. Cloud gets bored quickly, looking at the ocean, so he’s shifted and leans into Zack’s space a bit more.

He gets a small flutter of nervousness from him. They lean a little closer, arms and thighs brushing.

Wutai here they come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, Okay, I know, not too much action this time either. Gotta give everyone's poor little hearts a break. Hmmm, is emotional action really a break though? Probably not. 
> 
> You guys, I love Reno, I swear, but it's so fun to shit on him. Haha, he's such a little bitch. 
> 
> We are ready to rock and roll though! Leave a note, tell me if Cloud crying is as heartbreaking as I picture in my head. As always, thanks for being so encouraging and amazing! For reals, can not get over how great you guys are. Even though I say it, every chapter. lol 
> 
> See ya next time!


	14. The Best of You Belongs To Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Can anyone say, plot?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hellos! My god, it's been so long. See these eyes so green. Okay, sorry, sorry.  
> Here's something fun. :)  
> I'm gunna go listen to that David Bowie song on repeat now.
> 
> *WARNING*  
> TRIGGERS: Alien gore, Body worms (you knowwww), gore in general, slight NON-CON? Suffering, back to the suffering. 
> 
> Happy Reading!

“Yes, very soon.”

Finally, a break in the void. It’s been taunting him for too long, over and over.

Unseen, unknowing. But _finally._

“Don’t worry, Mother, you will flourish in spite of them.”

He’s found _him._ Thought she could hide him. He’ll admit, rather embarrassingly, the length of time it took to find him. Four parallels, four long, enduring failure timelines.

She’s not as clever as she thinks. He’s not as safe as he feels.

A lesson learned a few timelines ago. Can’t just kill him, she’s made him to come back.

Quite different from himself and yet, the same, that little Thunder Cloud.

Wretchedly calling him that, he’s heard it too many times in the lifestream, in her voice. He’s heard other things too and finally, he can step out from the void and claim what is rightfully his. Not even that little mutation from SOLDIER Fair can stop him. Not anymore. He just has to get his hands on that materia and her Thunder Cloud will be all his.

His to use.

His to have.

His to control.

“We’ll have him, Mother, in due time.”

Meteor still an option, but now, with this acceleration in his veins. This glorious gift for Mother, he can undermine their will and spread the gifts of the ancients, of those he belongs. Transform all of Gaia, for the beckoning call of the beyond.

His to _sacrifice_ , when he and Mother are free of this repeating rapture.

Soon, he can break the cycle soon.

***

A few hours turns out to be half the day. They are allowed to walk around once the pilot has set an even course for the helicopter, no one’s allowed near the open doors though. Well, no one, but that doesn’t include Zack and Cloud. He knows he’s not making it up, people are not only wary of them, but some are outright hostile.

So far, most are just ignoring them. Zack’s sure it won’t be like that once they actually get to Wutai. Most of these Avalanche members look too eastern to be Wutai descent. It’s only going to get worse, hatred for the ShinRa SOLDIER and for Midgar in general, runs deep in Wutai.

Deep among these people too. He tries not to let it bother him, the every so often nasty sneer and aggressive comment. Even Jessie's easy demeanor and friendliness towards them don’t seem to lessen the energy. It’s tense and thick.

The continent seems to rise up from the ocean suddenly, all tall, tall mountains and foggy clouds lingering in the peaks. The chopper drops lower and lower, following the sun’s setting path. Eventually, they drop through some of the fog and the humidity overtakes the whole cabin. It’s thick and gives his lungs a hard time to adjust. They can’t see the mountain ranges too well, the clouds are thick as they fly in and the earth keeps appearing and disappearing from the wall of white in windows.

“Holy shit, it’s hot here,” Aerith’s collapsing dramatically in one of the wall seats, her normal waves bunching thicker and poofs out into fluffy curls.

“We’ll have to get you some hair oil,” Tifa’s teasing her; “it’s just going to be worse the longer we stay.”

They hover down through one last layer of foggy thin clouds and come out on the other side of the massive mountains. Zack can see Wutai Village more north, looking tiny in the distance, dark along the flat grasslands of the plateaus.

It’s not as big as Midgar, nowhere is as big as Midgar, but Wutai Village has also grown in size, even from here, Zack can see. It’s not a village anymore.

The chopper flies toward the only main civilization on the Wutai Continent before veering off to the west, over the last of the dwindling mountains and low over a less grassy plateau near the far western coastline.

It’s yet another thing that just comes up out of nowhere, it shocks all of them, the sudden miles and miles of concrete fields. At least twenty helicopters parked neatly in a row, three of which are the same as the large trooper dropper they are on. Zack can see other militarized vehicles on the far side. Tanks, trucks, even looks like air weapons. Beyond that still, large up-scaled buildings, warehouses, and a massive radio wave tower.

This…this isn’t a rebellion, not some little cell that deals blows to ShinRa little by little. If Avalanche’s branches look like _this_ , their HQ must be impressively ready to re-start that war.

It is even more intense when they land. A few members rush out as the chopper drops its back ramp. Reveals a few small groups of people all in uniform, all carrying weapons, waves them down and a rush of people are unloading and shifting through the supplies. Zack can see clusters of members training, large groups. Big enough to be entire platoons. Barret’s going to be in charge of all this for a while? Zack doesn’t want to be rude, but, seems a little out of his league.

Cloud’s already at his bike, glaring down a few Avalanche members that are brushing their hands over it. Zack laughs at him, didn’t think he’d see Cloud get possessive over anything. Well, besides his sword. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he thinks himself too, but, Cloud's never even batted a jealous eye around him.

Barret’s passing them among all the chaos, slow going down the ramp, leaving his small trio team behind to supervise. He's flocked by a few higher-ranking members they don't know. Zack snorts, glancing at Jessie, she's leaning too hard on Biggs, waves her arms in circles for balance when he moves. She's at least got the personality to encourage passion in people. Zack's not sure about the supervising.

Aerith, Tifa, and Red hover near Zack follow him as he goes after Cloud. He’s straddling his bike already, revving a few times to warn people out of the way and takes the ramp at a flashy fast speed.

Zack just laughs at him again. Show off. That pleased little smile he's shooting his way makes his chest expand. To impress him? No, just to get Zack to laugh. He huffs happily to himself. He, Red, and the girls take the ramp down towards him.

“Hey, hey,” Jessie’s running out into the humid air after them, “Barret says to head to the barracks building, settle into our rooms.” She waves them to follow after her as if she’s been here before.

Then again, maybe she has. They certainly know more people than he thought the would. Her, Biggs, and Wedge keep getting stopped. And someone's come by and collected Marlene. She didn't seem scared or nervous at all. Chatted with them the whole time.

“Hey,” Cloud’s clicking his tongue at him, nods his head backward, gets Zack sliding onto the bike behind him. He's always happy to do that.

“Boo,” Aerith calls to them, “boooo, we want a ride.”

Cloud smirks, entirely too cool for his real one, and rushes off after Jessie.

It’s far, all the way on the other side of the compound. Tifa and Aerith have a long walk, but Zack noticed Biggs and Wedge keeping the girls and Red company. Probably easier to walk anyway, Cloud has to keep circling Jessie. He keeps cutting the bike close to her in tight rounds, he's teasing her. If it wasn’t for her laughter and wide smiles after a few smart ass comments, the tension from passing members would be a lot more intense. Certainly looks aggressive, two obviously mako powered SOLDIERS drifting around her.

“Oh _god_ , just, get will ya. It’s the far building on the left, I’ll meet you there. Just stay on the outside.” Jessie shoos them off after Cloud drifts by a little too closely for the third time.

He doesn’t need to be told twice, guns it down the concrete pavement, careful to avoid individuals, but cuts it a little close by larger groups. Zack squeezes his waist.

“Hey hot head, maybe chill?” he says in his ear.

Cloud grunts at him, “Don’t like the way they are looking at us.”

“Yeah I know, we gotta get used to it.”

Cloud’s silence says he disagrees; Zack doesn’t even need the extra stab of annoyance in his mind.

There are other vehicles around the side of the building and lots of open spaces to park, so Cloud just pulls right into a narrow undercover one closest to the building. Zack slides off the bike and watches Cloud glare at anyone coming and going that gets too close. It is at the very least, entertaining to see the shocked, wide eyes of strangers at the sight of two SOLDIERS hanging outside their sleeping quarters. Half of them are buzzing with rumors about them already. Word travels fast around here, Zack will have to remember that.

It takes a shorter time than Zack thought for Jessie and the others to catch up.

“Booo” Aerith calls to them once they are in earshot, she's practically skipping in her eagerness to tease them.

Zack gives her a laugh, but also grabs her in a shoulder grip and gently drags her around in tight circles until she’s laughing breathless.

“Ok-ay, okay, you get no say, It’s your cool boyfriend’s bike, not yours.”

Cloud flushes a bright pink, but it doesn’t stop him from glaring at a particularly loud group of Avalanche members walking by.

“Alright, everybody get their booty inside please, Barret’s already called the three of us down to the command center. We have to make sure you five don’t get into trouble.” Jessie's shooing at them again.

Red flicks his tail at her, “Hardly have to worry about me.” He just saunters off inside on his own.

Inside the building reminds Zack very strongly of the barracks back at ShinRa. They pass large rooms fitted for groups of eight or more, all the way down to the other side of the building. It's fairly dark, small windows, white lights tinting a weird greenish color. At least it's nice and cold, air conditioning blasting even in the hallways.

“Lucky us, Barret already requested his personal team get their own rooms,” Jessie waves her hand in a reveal, “well sort of, they are connected by a door and the walls are thin,” She’s staring at Zack with a teasing smile, “you four are in these two, and the rest of us are in the two across the way.”

She pats him and Cloud on the back and motions for Wedge and Biggs to follow her.

Zack sees Red slip into one of the rooms Wedge had come out of, already tiring of his human companions, Aerith wasn't kidding about his dislike for humans.

“Well,” Tifa’s pulling open a door, “guess we’re all sorta roomies for now.”

Cloud opens the other one and Zack follows him, already slipping his buster off his back.

The walls _are_ thin, he can hear the girl’s muffled voices but not their words, and they are usually fairly soft-spoken. If they talk any louder he'd know everything they are saying. It’s also darker than the hallway but the lighting still a dim florescent, greenish tint. Makes the small room feel a little sterile and dirty at the same time. Must be the rough texture of the walls.

It’s barren too, just two small twin beds, one nightstand and a very small bathroom against the far wall. It’s jarring compared to the cozy inn they were just at. Keeps pulling that at- war -feeling from Zack. So far, he's not a fan. Cloud huffs, places his sword next to Zack’s along the wall, and walks over to one of the beds. Zack’s sure he’s going to crash, he’d been yawning a lot the last hour of their flight and the sun is almost gone behind the horizon. Not that they can see it, no windows.

He’s shoving the bed over instead, pushing the twin bunks together. Still looks pretty small, but Zack’s lungs start getting the pins and needles feeling. Cloud doesn’t want to sleep apart. Twists his heart with happy flutters. He won’t meet Zack’s eyes as he sits on the edge of the mattress and unlaces his boots. Feeling shy then. Doesn't want Zack to comment. He’ll never get tired of Cloud being such an adorably shy kind heart he pretends not to be.

Zack tackles him back onto the pushed together beds before he can even kick off his other boot.

“Oof-Zack,” Cloud’s trying to sit back up, Zack just relaxes all his weight. Cloud could certainly still move him, but he’s being sweet and playing along, “ugh, lemme go.”

“Never.” Pushes his face into Cloud’s neck.

It changes the air around them, Cloud stills his playful wiggling, his hands becoming a serious pressure on his back. His breathing sounds more staggered. Zack’s heart tugs along with his lungs, relaxes his mind, but only feels contentment from Cloud. Not upset then, a wave of-

“Zack I…”

-Love. Almost, he _almost_ said it aloud. Zack smiles into his skin. Wants to push things farther, Zack's first at physical touch to show his emotions, easier to press them into Cloud's skin. He's always so receptive to Zack that way, contrasting to the closing up he does with words. But Cloud’s relaxation feels fragile, his arms tighten around Zack, like he’s afraid Zack will actually let him go.

Go off and die on him.

***

Jessie can’t believe they are in Wutai. She’s only been to this cell branch once before, right after she’d joined up. The recruits come here for training, if HQ doesn’t have enough space or people to start them off. She remembered being all wide-eyed and full of nerves, coming straight from Gold Saucer, freshly done with her first theater show. Seems so long ago now.

But, here she is, back at the Wutai base. It’s grown, bigger than ever, more equipment, more supplies, more weapons. A nice surprise too that Barret’s going to be calling the shots, for reals, not just their tiny little outpost from the slums. It is odd, seeing Barret be much more serious then she’s used too, and he’s more careful about what he’s spouting out of his mouth. Maybe that will lax once he’s been in the new environment for a while.

Her, Biggs, and Wedge are making their way over to the command center, a small stand-alone building where the leader of the cell is usually making plans and contacting HQ. Barret warned them they’d have to start stepping up, as part of the lead team. Coming onto a main base for the rebellion was a big deal. She wonders what pushed HQ to draw them back into their main cell. It can’t be her bombs, technically, they directly caused the plate fall to happen.

So then…what? HQ is just tired of sitting pretty and doing supply steals? She doubts they will ever really know, this being a temporary situation.

More likely they want something from Barret. Something only they can give them, or _someone._ News about two friendly-to the-cause ShinRa SOLDIERS showing up spread like wildfire. It's almost unheard of since Avalanche reinvented themselves and started anew. ShinRa doesn't mingle with them, too great a risk to betray the company, even if someone wanted too. Just within their first hour here and it's all that reaches Jessie's ears. Good and bad. 

A drill Sargent is saluting Barret when they walk in. She keeps her smile to an amused smirk, no need to go undermining her boss. Poor guy, looks all stressed out already. She waits for the Sargent to leave, before jumping up to sit on the schematics table in the middle of the room. At least Biggs and Wedge are mimicking her teasing smile.

“So, boss. Got us a fancy new gig. How bad is it?”

Barret sighs at her, his frown more honest than she expected.

“Seems HQ had been keeping an eye on us.”

“Right,” Biggs says, “and…what does that mean for us?”

Barret shrugs, “Still not sure. Mentioned to them the things Aerith told us, to a degree. They didn’t seem surprised. Interested and alarmed, but not surprised.”

Which means they knew about Aerith, or at least, had some kind of hunch about everything. She wonders how deep their contact at ShinRa can really go.

“They’ve told me to hang tight, oversee the drills, and the missions till they can get confirmation from their inside guys at ShinRa.”

“Guys?” Wedge asks, “As in, they have more than one inside person there?”

Barret nods, “Seems so. I get the feelin’ they want us to focus on this JENOVA thing. Even seemed to know a bit before I mentioned it. Hinted at some secret ShinRa has been hiding for years, damaging to the planet, before I even spoke up. Still said the don’t have any resources for us yet.”

She snorts at that, yeah right no resources, has Barret looked around him. What else more do they need?

“There’s one more thing,” Barret says, “I’ve let the lead staffing here know, about our SOLDIER mutts, but don’t expect everyone to be trusting.”

“Right,” Biggs sighs, “so keep an eye on them.”

“Make sure pretty boy doesn’t start any fights.”

That’ll be Cloud he’s talking about then. Jessie snickers behind her hand so Barret doesn’t see. She didn’t miss the way Cloud clipped a few groups with his bike, already getting hostile from…all the hostility in the air.

“Wedge, that’s your job.” She pins it on him. Smiles wide at his stuttering.

“It’s all our jobs,” Barret’s still being serious, “HQ wants them to stay with Avalanche, think they want to use them on missions we couldn’t pull off before.”

That’s only if they agree. Cloud might jump at it the chance, but Zack...

He might be changed about fighting ShinRa head-on, but he’s all tense and dark eyes since they landed. He’s careful, holds back. Calculating things they can’t see. She's not sure if it's just being in Wutai or he's not liking Avalanche's impressively hidden reach. She never thought she’d see the day Avalanche jumping at the chance to make two SOLDIERS their prized recruits. Still not sure, guess they’ll see.

“That really everything?” She asks, she’s dying to shower, all the dust from flying in the chopper all day is stuck in her hair.

“For now, don’t stray too far, got a memo of a mission that might be a green light tomorrow.”

“Yessir!” the three of them mock salute him with wide smiles.

Finally, they get one back from him. And an eye roll, a loving one.

“Aright, scram, gotta finish up a few more calls.”

***

Cloud’s hiding, probably from all the untrusting gazes and the faint ‘ShinRa Mutt’ comments, but it feels a bit like he’s hiding from him too. He didn't meet his eyes when they woke early in the morning, kept curled in, facing away from him until Zack got up and showered. No weird or negative feelings in their connection, the opposite actually. Cloud's been giving him so many pulses of warm and chest tightening emotions. The contrast in his actions is leaving Zack a little lost.

It’s already late in the morning and Zack’s been all around the base, can’t spot his blondie anywhere. The girls wanna go into Wutai Village, get some food that isn’t flown in and rationed. He has to snort at that, _rationed_ , like they really are in a war. He can't figure out Avalanche's angle. Aerith said something about certain materia she’s looking for too. Didn’t seem end of the world/JENOVA interested though, so probably she just wants to shop.

The walk to Wutai Village is almost two hours from the base and since it’s gonna be the four of them, they can’t take the bike. He’s already looked for Cloud for almost an hour. The Avalanche base is massive, he’s probably just walking in circles too. Could have checked one place and just missed him. He’s already doubled back to the barracks, but Cloud’s not in their room and the girls are laughing at him from Cloud’s motorcycle, hanging all over it.

“Can’t find him?” Tifa laughs, taps the bike’s smooth seat with her fingers, “maybe we’ll just steal this and go ourselves.”

Aerith perks up way too much, “O-ooh, yeah, hurry. Let’s do that before Cloud just appears.”

Zack laughs nervously, he’s not sure Aerith is completely kidding, she's getting a slightly crazy grin on her lips.

Cloud will kill him if he lets them take that bike. Even Tifa is looking more and more like she'll go along with Aerith.

“Just give me ten more minutes,” Zack says, eyeing Aerith’s lusty look at the bike. Better make it five.

Zack wonders…maybe he can find him through their mind link? Focuses hard on the ever-present fire crackling, nothing too overwhelming from him. Is he too far from Zack to feel intense emotions? No, that's not it, feels a rush of affection, Cloud's thinking about him. Well, shit, Zack's getting all flustered just standing here alone. Thinks less about emotions and focus on his senses.

Feels like…a windy breeze, a soft constant roaring, and the faint scent of…salt?

Oh, must be at the cliffside, overlooking the ocean.

The base is so far West on the land, overhanging on the plateaus that jut out from the continent. The edge of the buildings is just a short walk from the cliff sides. Zack can even see the far horizon line of the ocean from here.

“I found him.” He says, going around the girls.

“What, how? You didn’t even move. I don’t see him.” Aerith is looking around and Tifa is shooting a confused look his way.

Once he’s clear from the barracks and closer to the farthest jut of land, he can see Cloud’s pale blonde spikes swaying in the wind. He’s very close to the edge of the cliff, but there’s no overhang, just smooth, evenly eroded rock. Still gives Zack a mild heart attack seeing him so close to the edge.

The closer he gets to him, a soft pressure of loneliness comes through their link. Not sad though. Feels like Cloud wants it.

“Hey,” Zack calls softly, just in case he didn’t hear him approaching.

No jumping, or body jerk, Cloud heard him then. Barely turns to look at him too, just the smallest head turn in acknowledgment. Zack slips down to sit next to him. It’s beautiful out, the ocean is calm and sparkly in the morning sun and the breeze is a nice break from the growing humidity. Cloud’s still pushing his weird happy-loneliness at him.

“You hiding from all the ShinRa mutt comments out here?”

Cloud smiles softly, brings up a knee, and rests his chin, “maybe.”

He’s all quiet, more withdrawn still. Easily overwhelmed by strangers, they had gotten used to just being their small group back at Kalm Town. He _does_ want to be alone then. From him too?

“I came to collect you, but if you wanna be alone, that’s okay.” Zack doesn’t want to push him. He forgets, Cloud’s got short social limits.

His wrist is grabbed before he can even crouch to stand. Cloud’s shooting guilty blue eyes at him.

“You don’t count.” He says.

Zack chuckles at him, slightly confused.

“I mean,” Cloud yanks on him to slide back down and sit closer to him, “I don’t want to get away from you.”

 _O-h_ , just everyone else. Zack smiles, leans in and presses his lips against his temple. Not really a kiss, just leans against him for the touch. Cloud slides his hand down to fit warmly into Zack’s, fits a deep fluttering in Zack’s stomach. Too bad he’s going to ruin it, the girls are waiting.

“Aerith and Tifa want to go into the village, get some real food,” He sees the tiny tug down on Cloud’s lips, “don’t feel pressured to go.” He adds.

“You want to?” Cloud asks, drags his eyes from the ocean to look at Zack again.

He shrugs, he does but, he’s fine with this too. Cloud’s eyes get a bit darker and he stands, pulling Zack up with him.

“You do.” He says, rocks right up onto his toes, and gives Zack the softest kiss. He’s actually melting from all this sweetness. Zack traps him in his arms before he pulls away, presses tightly to him for a moment.

“We can come back out here after, instead of that tiny room. It’s a little stuffy in there huh?”

Cloud nods against his shoulder before pulling away. Reaches for his hand as they walk back to the barracks. He’s still a bit clingy, not that Zack’s going to complain. He wishes it wasn’t so much out of fear that Zack will just keel over on him.

“Oh finally!” Aerith spots them, pushes off from the bike.

Cloud is frowning, eyes narrowing into his tough-guy glare. Zack holds in his laugh, keeps it in his chest so he doesn’t get that glare turned on him. Tifa’s rolling her eyes as they come up. Reaches out and flicks Cloud’s cheek.

“Hey tough guy, don’t be so sensitive about your bike.” She’s laughing at him, harder when his glare intensifies.

His frown melts away almost immediately, but he’s trying his best to still glare at her. Doesn’t work for too long, gets that distant nostalgia softness in the corners of his eyes that only Tifa brings out in him.

“We going? I’m hungry already and we still gotta walk.” Aerith’s ahead of them, arms crossed and faking annoyance.

“We’re walking?” Cloud whines, actually _whines_ , huffs at Tifa like it’s the worst day of his life.

Zack’s laugh just jumps right out of his body, not expecting Cloud to revert back into a five-year-old. He tugs on Cloud’s hand; he’s staring longingly at his bike.

“Come on Spikes, it’ll just wreck all those wooden bridges we gotta cross anyway.” Zack hates those things, Wutai never keeps up with them and they always sway too much in the wind.

Pouting, he’s full-on _pouting_ the whole time they walk across the base. He brushes up against Zack often enough it’s more endearing than annoying, still grips his hand tightly. The humidity likes to hang low and around structures, but out on the open grasslands, the wind pushes it down to a mild heat. Makes the hike out more bearable. The first bridge they have to cross is nearly falling apart and the base is still in sight behind them.

Tifa and Aerith are frowning at the wooden path.

“What’s the holdup, you guys change your mind?” Zack asks.

Aerith gives him her unsure eyes, lip bite, and all, glances between them and the bridge.

Cloud’s rolling his eyes, breaks his hand from Zack, and starts crossing the bridge. Tifa shrugs at Aerith and follows him, all confidence in her body. Poor Aerith, she's the odd one out, Zack touches the small of her back.

“I’m right behind you, think roof hopping in slum 5 is scarier than this.” He reassures her.

She doesn’t seem too convinced, still gives a smile. She’s not without reason, despite Cloud’s dismissal of her worry. The bridge is shredded, too many holes in the floorboards and the rope is looking pretty stringy. That ocean breeze that lingers in between the plateaus doesn’t help either. At least they are small bridges.

Aerith lets out a very real sigh of relief once they hit the grassy ground.

“Just two more,” Zack says, it’s supposed to be reassuring, her scrunched face says otherwise.

The other two are not as destroyed as the first bridge and the rest of the way is a gentle sloop up the largest plateau north of the Avalanche base. There’s not much vegetation on Northern Wutai, it’s all up in the mountains, south of the continent. This is just flat grassland, high among the ocean’s cold waters. It’s an easy walk otherwise, no fiends hiding, no mass ruins and junk to watch out for if it falls. Just the nice breeze and easy laughter together.

Wutai Village is tucked up against the only mountains in the north, a more mild peek and small slopes compared to the massive southern range. Zack can hear Cloud huffing, ‘call that a mountain’ echoes in his head. Zack flashes Cloud a smile with his quick gaze to him. The humidity gets trapped among the buildings and human-made gardens here too, hits them like a wall the second they pass through the large standing wooden entrance. Wutai Village written in graceful curves and dashes across a withering sign.

Zack feels a longing for Angeal and it lingers with him as they move through the village.

Once they get pasted the main gate a bit more, it becomes packed with smaller venders, beautiful, minimal buildings all pressing together. Feels more organized than Wall Market or downtown shopping centers in Midgar. More rustic and warm. The Wutai people are calmer, kinder, watch out for bumping strangers, and are mindful of where they step.

It’s jarring to be in a crowded busy place but feel personal space is respected. Zack notices Cloud doesn’t tense up at all, even as they go deeper into the crowds, anxiety among the chatter not even a flicker in his mind. Zack presses in close to him anyway, just in case.

Since Zack’s really the one that’s been here, the girls fall into step behind him and Cloud, hovering close, but he’s got to stop and let them chat with vendors. Or have a look when they get distracted by something sparkling. He thought Aerith was hungry, he certainly is. Probably the only good thing being back here is the food. Super spicy and amazing. Cloud’s gonna hate it.

He's also waiting for all the hostility, but so far, only a few of the older people out have gasped, slightly distressed, at him once they get a good look at his eyes. Still makes him feel bad and he thinks too hard about Angeal. Can almost hear his voice calling him a dumb puppy. Shit, he knew he'd get all misty-eyed here. Cloud's strong body pressing up against him all of a sudden drags him from his memories, he's sweet to him. Presses a soft kiss against his jaw and lingers in his space as they wait or the girls to catch up. Chasing away his ghosts. 

Eventually, all the heat from too many pressing bodies, mingling with the humidity, gets to the girls and they hurry along after Zack and Cloud. No longer interested in the shops. He leads them pretty deep into the village, turns down a larger stone street labeled with a tiny sign that’s easy to miss. **Food district** , not as packed as the shopping area, but still has lots of groups hovering and chatting as they wait for tables.

“Geez,” Tifa says, stepping into line with Zack’s wide stride, “that’s the most organized crowd I’ve been in.”

“Yeah, pretty different mindset here.”

Different looks too. In Midgar, Cloud only stood out if someone was paying attention; for the most part, it’s a mashup of hair color and skin tones. Here, everyone’s got dark, dark hair, tanner from the near-constant sun. Even Aerith sticks out among the crowds. Cloud’s practically glowing with his fair skin and hair, a bright distraction among the even tone sea.

There’s also their eyes. It’s not as bad as Zack worried it would be, even with all the triggering memories. No-ones been outright rude yet. Not like on the Avalanche base, but then again, that is an active rebellion group against ShinRa. He may be over worrying about it. They've also only been here all of a day and a half. First time wandering out into the village. Too early to tell how angry Wutai really is still. At least all of the familiar spots are a happy medium in all of Zack's mixed up thoughts.

His favorite noodle place is still here, down at the far end of the street. It’s pretty busy, but they are one of the smaller groups so they get seated right away. Cloud’s already wrinkling his nose at the spicy scent in the air. Good thing they have a lot of ginger dishes, more mild, he’ll be able to handle that. It’ll be good for whatever mako nausea is just waiting to spring forward on him too.

Zack doesn’t think it will ever stop. Keeps thinking about the sad look Aerith got back at her house, when Cloud fell through the church. She’d looked so guilt when Zack had asked for ginger for the mako poisoning. Must be the anchor thing, re-occurring because of the collapsing timelines? He sighs behind his large menu, slinks down in his seat too. He's still gotta get Aerith by herself. He wants to know all the gruesome details she’s being vague about, especially all of the ones about him dying and Cloud’s anchor status.

“These ones, Cloud,” Zack says after watching him frown harder and harder at his own menu, “You can handle the spices in that column.”

“Hmm.”

Must be feeling shy then. As always, Zack’s got no idea why. Pokes at their connection, but Cloud’s just sending him an even feed of easiness.

He settles on two dishes, probably too much food for lunch, but they skipped out on breakfast and Zack had been too busy making Cloud scream the night before. No dinner and burned up too many calories. He puts his menu down and snorts looking up. He didn’t notice before, but Aerith’s hair has grown several inches from humidity frizz, it’s encroaching in on Tifa’s space.

“Shut it you,” Aerith’s pointing her own menu at him, “I’m aware, you think I can’t feel this, I didn’t have time to braid it.”

Didn’t have time? They were just molesting Cloud’s bike for an hour while he was looking for him.

Tifa laughs in solidarity, though her hair is still smooth and silky. She stands up, eyeing the isle for passing waiters, and quickly ties Aerith’s hair up with her own hair tie and wraps Aerith’s pink ribbon around the base.

“Hey,” Tifa says, “you know you got a tiny materia hiding in your hair?” She’s re-pinning it to Aerith’s ribbon.

Aerith laughs, “yeah, my birth mother gave it to me.”

Tifa turns serious, “…is it… do we need to, to fight JENOVA?”

Aerith twists to look up at her and Zack feels his jaw tick as they have an eye conversation about it. Why is this information he and Cloud can’t know?

“Sorry,” Aerith says, Tifa sliding back into her seat, “I’ll…tell you guys, I just.”

It cuts Zack suddenly and stings harshly. She doesn’t trust them. Or more…doesn’t trust who is listening in on their brains.

“You knew,” Zack’s aware his accusing tone is coming on strong, “about the static…who it is.”

Aerith winces, “not at first. I didn’t realize it was happening so much until we were trying to get out of ShinRa HQ.”

Shorter time then he thought, but still stings a bit. Cloud’s all quiet next to him. He should probably get used to this, learn to not get annoyed. How is Aerith supposed to know what she should say and not say?

He gets it; she could accidentally change the outcome just by speaking about it. Probably already has, risking that big spill all speech in Kalm. All his irritation leaves and he sighs dramatically.

“Okay, Missy. You’re off the hook this one time,” He makes sure to be all teasing.

The tension leaves her shoulders, fades fast from the air, and then a waiter is all too close at their table.

Zack gets a beer with their lunch; he needs it, nice and cold, and a slight buzz. Won't last more than ten minutes anyway with his advanced healing. The humidity just keeps pushing right on inside the restaurant. Even Cloud’s more lax with his complaining about the heat, groaning about it under his breath. Distractedly slides ice cubes from his water all over his neck. Zack’s going to kill him, in the best way possible, but also really kill him. The little shit, after all that teasing the last time they fucked, Zack can't help but think Cloud’s doing half the distracting things on purpose.

One look at Tifa and Aerith says he’s wrong though, Cloud’s just as oblivious as ever. Gets all confused about what the girls are giggling for. Because, his pretty little Cloudy-Sky, the _torture_ , all the torture.

Zack grunts, shifts in his seat.

“You okay?” He _really_ is just that oblivious. All sweet worried blue eyes and leaning in closer, still slipping a fucking ice cube along his skin.

Tifa and Aerith bust out laughing so loudly, it makes the table behind them jump. Cloud’s getting all embarrassed, clearly aware he’s being teased but not what about. Zack feels a bit bad now. Not Cloud’s fault Zack can’t keep his mind out of the gutter. He reaches over and chin bops his head up with his forefinger.

“I’m good, Beautiful.”

Oh, wrong nickname choice, Cloud ducks his whole upper body away and he scoots his chair closer to the wall. Tires not to look at any of them. Especially as Tifa and Aerith coo at them, still laughing in between. Whoops.

Maybe no more talking until their food gets to them. Good thing this place has fast service. Zack doesn’t care if it’s an insane amount of food; he downs both large bowls of noodles, his mouth burning and on fire the whole time. It’s the fucking best, makes him almost want to live in Wutai, just for the food.

Almost. The humidity is pretty bad. And all the Angeal memories would push him to a never-ending depression.

***

Aerith feels bad, for withholding information about her holy materia. She’s mentioned it offhand to Tifa, but nothing more. She’s got a bad feeling sinking in her stomach about mentioning it too much. Besides, it’s still not working right. Something is changing it. Her past memories tell her it’s Sephiroth, stuck in the lifestream, but that can’t be it. It used to not work at all, in her other lives. Feels like there’s a part missing from it, like something needs to be added so it works correctly. She's never seen a materia need that though, so it's still just a feeling she gets in the middle of her chest.

No memories float to her on it either. So there’s not much she can do besides keep it safe.

At least she’s got Tifa to help distract her from the worry; they tease Cloud endlessly throughout lunch. Poor Zack, must be so difficult to contain himself. At least Aerith’s little crush on Tifa isn’t constantly being ignited. Pretty as she is, Tifa’s not consistently doing things that just scream ‘come fuck me’. Even with her choice in wardrobe.

Maybe it’s just something about Cloud, or maybe it’s Zack’s energy projecting, he's walking around in a lust haze half the time. She laughs extra hard at that, lucky Tifa just jokingly told Cloud to maybe chill with the ice cubes. It’s not the spicy food that’s overheating Zack. Must be so hard for him, she kicks at his shins anyway. Knocks some of that daze out of his eyes. She even gets Zack to blush a bit with her knowing look.

It’s fun to tease the both of them.

They finish lunch and leave the suddenly very busy restaurant, Cloud’s eyes firmly on the ground and Zack looking anywhere but at Cloud. She presses in close to Tifa even with the unbearable heat. They must have just missed the lunch rush, when they get outside, there are massive lines everywhere, forces them out into the street.

They have to wait for Cloud and Zack to fight around the lines. It’s when she notices it, staring a bit blankly cause the heat, she sees Cloud’s left hand is twitching. She’s noticed it before too. Always his left hand, an old injury? Or from Hojo, his left arm had been pretty jacked with injection sites when they rescued them. Seems still wrong, weird too that she’s focusing so much on it. Hasn't she seen it in some of her parallel memories too? Distracting her so it’s sudden when the tingling in her mind hits, sees Cloud wince, his whole left arm twitch roughly and fall sidestep into Zack before she gets sucked in-

- _Tifa’s laugh is loud and bright. She’s missed it. They haven’t laughed, not a real long good one, for a while._

_“I can’t believe they had ethers, this many of them!” She’s way excited; they haven’t had ethers for weeks now. Poor Zack is just running on fumes, trying to squeeze in ten-minute naps whenever he can just so his mana won’t drain completely._

_“Yeah, I’m surprised, so cheap too,” Tifa says, she's carrying a lot more of the supplies, double-checking they bought everything. Well, everything they could find._

_Like freakin' ethers. Hell yes. Zack just might have to fight her for some of them._

_They spent the better part of the day in the small town they had passed, can’t risk staying in crowded places. Or any place too civilized, not with JENOVA cells floating around. It’s hard to tell who is infected nowadays. Sephiroth keeps popping up out of nowhere, JENOVA’S getting stronger, if her cells can allow Sephiroth control just from a small number now…_

_In any case, they can’t risk Sephiroth appearing on them, not while they are still carrying the black materia with them. They are almost to the ancient forest, rumors from Nanaki, there’s some Cetra thing-what's it- that can destroy it. Stop meteor from ever happening. Ever._

_Plus it’s good for Cloud, to be as far away as possible from other infected JENOVA people. He seems to hurt worse when they linger too long around them. He’s been doing amazing the last few days, so they made a wide loop around the town and settled an hour out. At least their camp area is nice and grass free this time. That had been a disaster last week, nearly burned all their extra things when they fell asleep with coals still burning._

_They can see a small stream of clean smoke as they get closer, awesome Zack’s started a fire. It’s pretty cold out, indicating the seasons are about to change soon. Tifa’s mentioned it more than once; they will have to start planning their traveling better. Shorter days and colder days means less time for them to move._

_More time for JENOVA to spread. For some reason, thrives on the cold. It’s so odd._

_“Oh thank you, sweet, sweet Zack,” Tifa says, “No offense to Cloud, but he can just not make a good campfire.”_

_Aerith probably laughs a little too hard. It’s still true._

_Their smiles drop when they get in earshot. They can hear Cloud, gasping in painful groans, floats clear and loud in the sky._

_“No…” Tifa says, quietly, “no, he was doing so good.”_

_They rush the rest of the way._

_Zack’s got Cloud curled against him, his left side exposed, sleeve from his one arm jacket bundled on the ground. His arm around Cloud’s middle, the other hovering over his twitching left arm, the faintest of HEALING green on his fingertips. Cloud’s whole body is shaking, but his left arm… Aerith’s never seen it twitch so violently. It's never looked worse either. Zack's got it exposed, it's been at least a month since she last saw Cloud's bare skin there._

_Zack’s gasping in air, his own shoulders shaking, there are tears stream down his face. He’s pale, draining all his mana and whatever energy he can trying to HEAL Cloud._

_“Oh, Zack,” Aerith’s already popping off the cap to one of the ether bottles, rushing forward._

_He’s got a fresh wave of tears in his icy eyes when he sees Aerith’s holding out an ether._

_“You found some, fuck, thank you,” his hands shaking so bad he can barely grasp the ether. From his crying or zapped energy, it's hard to tell._

_He manages, barely, and downs it all in one large gulp. Immediately, he’s hovering his hand over Cloud’s arm again, green light springing from his fingertips, bright and slightly minty smelling._

_It’s doing nothing for Cloud._

_Tifa’s placing all their newly bought supplies away quickly, glancing at Cloud every second she gets._ _Aerith…she doesn’t know what to do. She pulls her own mana to her fingertips and cast her strongest HEALING spell over Zack and Cloud._ _Zack’s exhausted, spending all his energy on trying to still the pain in Cloud._

_It’s still not working, not Zack’s and not Aerith’s._

_“What happened?” Tifa asks, sinking down to her knees on Zack’s other side, “he was doing so good.”_

_Zack chokes out a breath, “I dunno,” he’s mumbling, near breaking point. Aerith can see it in his shaking arms, “I dunno what happened. He just started screaming.”_

_Like a switch, right on cue, Cloud’s whole body jerks so violently, Zack is pulled forward with him. He starts screaming._

_Zack’s stopped casting, just leans down over Cloud and sobs into his neck, holding him still as best he can as he writhes in pain._

_“Ut-off.” Cloud’s barely getting words out between his stuttering whines and shouts, “Z-Zack…he-lp.”_

_Aerith tries not to stop her own casting, it’s still doing nothing. Getting hard to see through her blurry vision._

_“Z-Za-ack,” Cloud’s trying to sit up, trying to move Zack._

_Takes all the strength he probably has, she can see him shaking, even more, grabs Zack’s collar and yanks him up, close so he can look in his eyes._

_“C-c-ut…it…o-off.” He’s gritting through all the words, eyes unfocused._

_“What.” Zack’s staring at him, sobs quieted and trying to listen to Cloud._

_“CUT IT OFF!” Cloud screams through the pain that rips through his body, voice ruined, raspy, and breaking in the middle of his words._

_His left arm is moving so violently on its own. Aerith can see so much wiggling in his forearm, massive veins pulsing and shaking under his skin, black, so much black ooze and barely red human blood. His fingers are all fused together, creating some other…fleshy thing._

_Tifa’s already up and grabbing Zack’s buster sword._

_“Cloud…what…no.” Zack’s still shaking, but his tears stopped suddenly by Cloud’s request._

_Aerith’s not sure that would stop the JENOVA spread in his body. He’s got JENOVA cells in him anyway, just unfortunate, or lucky, that the infection started in his hand._

_Cloud’s collapsed back against Zack’s chest, painful tears streaming from his blue eyes,_ _“P-please…Zack…please.” sounds so broken, rumbling pleas against Zack’s skin over and over._

 _Zack steels his face, eyes going hard, crushes Cloud against him in a tight embrace,_ _“Okay, beautiful, hold on,” he looks up at Tifa, she’s holding his buster over her shoulder, “hold him down, Tifa.”_

_"I can do it," she offers, trying to hold that burden from Zack._

_Zack shakes his head, "No, I've got to." For some reason..._

_Tifa nods like she understands, hands over his buster._

_Zack’s curling Cloud onto the ground, stretching out his left arm at a 90-degree angle. Slips one of their firewood logs under his upper arm, a slight raise to…slice through. Oh god, Aerith covers her mouth. She’s going to be sick._

_Tifa sits on Cloud’s torso, careful of his left side, tangles one of her legs with his and leans down over him, both her hands going to keep his right shoulder to the ground._

_“Hey, pretty eyes,” She says to him…Jessie’s nickname. Aerith never met her, but Tifa talked about how taken Cloud had been with her. She had called him pretty eyes all the time; “wanna have a hot date night?” she teases him with soft eyes and a sad smile._

_Cloud’s small laugh is interrupted with a gasp of pain. His arm pulses hard as if the JENOVA inside knows what’s about to happen._

_“O-only if i-it's…yo-u.” he grits back._

_“Aerith,” Zack draws her attention, holds his blade out, “mind giving me a hot blade, sterilize it?”_

_She tastes the ashy cloud of fire in her mouth as she summons flames from her fire materia, coats the buster blade until it’s glowing hot._

_“Be ready…” he tells her._

_To heal, she’s going to have to heal that chopped wound as fast as she can. She starts mumbling HEALING under her breath as Zack steps into the angle of Cloud’s left arm. He glances down at him._

_Cloud’s zoned out in pain, looking up at Zack with tears running down into his hair._

_“D-Do it…please…Z-Zaa-ck.”_

_Zack looks away, his arms up, buster gripped hard and strong. Pauses just for a second, the silence filled with everyone’s breathing and Cloud’s whimpering._ _Swings down hard. There’s a snap and a horrifying fleshy- squish sound. A thwack as Cloud’s severed arm falls those few inches. One clean cut._ _Cloud arches up hard, nearly knocking Tifa off him, chokes on his own scream before thudding back onto the ground. He’s blacked out._

_Aerith’s casting as fast as she can, pulls all the HEALING first, lining it up with small bursts of fire to burn at the veins and arteries that are cut open. That burning hot sword did a good job at coagulating the blood though. She doesn’t stop, even though her tears, just keeps HEALING until her mana runs dry._

_“Good, that’s good, Aerith,” Tifa’s guiding her by her shoulders, voice soft and close. Pulls her to come sit on their makeshift log bench near the fire. She’s shaking. The sound and world come back to her fast. She's hot, from using all her mana so quickly._

_Zack’s buster is dropped on the ground, Cloud’s blood mingling with JENOVA’s black ooze on the blade. She can't bring herself to look a few inches past it at Cloud's severed arm. After she’s managed to get her lungs back under control, she chances a glance at Cloud._

_Zack’s got him in his arms again, head pillowed on his shoulder, face pressed against his collarbones. He’s bandaging the stub of his left arm, just above the elbow. No JENOVA black veins insight on his bicep. No blood seeping through the clean, stark white bandages either._

_She healed it okay then?_

_Zack’s still crying, calmly, and quiet this time. His shoulders aren’t shaking anymore. Cloud stirs against him, weakly, looks up at him, no pain wince, no gritting teeth. His body is still as if he’s sleeping._

_“Thank you…” barely a whisper, almost lost in his breath._

_Zack winces through his tears, then curls down over Cloud some more and presses his face against Cloud’s. She can’t hear what they are talking about, just the desperate mummer of their voices._

_Her and Tifa give them privacy, they stare into the fire. She's kind enough to pull Aerith against her and keep her warm._

_Aerith just keeps hearing Cloud screaming.-_

-Cloud shouts, short and painful, scares the shit out of the groups of people outside the restaurant.

Aerith’s vision comes back slow, watching Cloud’s knees buckle under him, falling back against Zack, clutching at his left forearm. He’s got Cloud’s shoulders in his hands, lets him down slowly. Cloud’s left arm is twitching violently, just to the elbow, his forearm muscles spasms.

“Shit,” Tifa’s rushing back to them, helps Zack drag Cloud a little ways down the street, where there are far fewer people and they can lean down an alley, up against the wall of a building.

It’s pretty horrifying, that memory and then coming back to her reality, seeing Cloud’s non-chopped arm twitching as if he’s infected. Oh, god, what if he is infected? He’s got JENOVA cells in him, from Hojo. There were so many injection sites on him. She rushes forward, kneels, and grabs Cloud’s arm. He winces at her, but doesn’t pull away.

Nothing, there’s nothing there, just his normal skin, normal color, normal veins. Just the twitching of his muscles.

Then…a ghost feeling? Another side effect of time collapsing? She had wondered if the mako poisoning was the only thing.

Zack’s leaning back against the building, knees bent. Cloud in between his legs, sitting back, head low on Zack’s stomach. He’s got his hands on Cloud’s shoulders, rubbing them in soothing circles.

Aerith can feel Tifa hovering behind her, worry radiating off her.

“What is happening? Cloud, are you okay?”

He’s still gritting his teeth, but his arm isn’t shaking as bad. He nods with his slowing gasps. Looks at Aerith likes she’s got all the answers in the universe. Well, she kinda does, just…doesn’t know them yet. This parallel spell is really hitting home the meaning of irony.

“Okay? Better ?” Zack’s asking Cloud, leaned over a bit more, shadowing Cloud from the sun.

Cloud’s leaned his neck back, looking straight up at Zack. They stare and have a long eye conversation, with a lot of tender face touches happening. Aerith feels like she’s intruding, as innocent as they are being, so she stands and turns to Tifa.

Doesn't even get a word out before she's promptly knocked into Tifa by a small force. Tifa shouts, catches her, and stumbles, but they don’t fall to the ground at least. She hears the boys stutter at them, glances, and sees them both standing fully with wide eyes.

“What the hell?” Tifa’s righting her, “that kid came out of nowhere.”

Kid? She gets flashes of short black hair and large dark eyes. Oh no.

“Hey,” Tifa’s letting her go, grasping at her own wrists. Her fighting gloves, they are missing their materia, “that brat, she stole my materia!”

Aerith’s hands fly to her hair ribbon…the Holy materia, the pin it’s safely in, it’s gone too. A quick glance at the ground around her, maybe it just got knocked off. Nope. _Shit._ More flashes of dark eyes and mischievous laughing.

_Yuffie._

“Damnit, she took my Holy too.” Aerith doesn’t even wait, she just rushes down the street, she saw her turn right, down at the end.

Tifa’s right on her heels, but the boys are still slow up, shouting after them.

“We gotta get it back; I can’t _believe_ she stole it,” Aerith tells Tifa.

Tifa eyes her, “you sound like you know her.”

“Uhhh, maybe we do.”

“Oh great, we’re timeline buddies with a thief.” Tifa laughs bitterly, pulls ahead of her in their running.

They are at least catching up to her; Aerith sees her familiar scarf round another corner. She’s slowing down, probably thinking she got away with her little scheme. Aerith can’t believe she didn’t think to lookout. The few times she remembers Wutai in the timelines, Yuffie is always there and she always steals their materia. Usually, they get it back...usually. There was that one time. Ugh.

She’s never gotten her hands on her Holy materia before, so that’s new. They round the corner as well and get greeted with a loud, short scream and then gas. Lots of knock out gas.

“What?” Aerith feels like this has happened before, the scent is familiar. She reaches for Tifa.

“Aerith?” Tifa finds her first, so sleepy though. They both are.

Aerith can make out Yuffie on the ground, knocked out. So…not her then. Who?

Thinks she sees a large figure stepping out into the cloud of pink gas.

Then nothing. Where are the boys?

***

Cloud’s still twitching against him when a girl just rounds the corner of the alleyway and knocks Aerith straight into Tifa. It’s very sudden and looks more aggressive than it probably felt. Shocks Zack and Cloud both into a moment of stupidity.

The girls are shouting about their materia and then take off after the kid.

“Wait!” Zack calls, shit, just taking off like that, not smart; Wutai is not as safe as people make it seem, “Cloud, you okay?”

He’s at least standing next to him. He nods, just his left fingers twitch a bit. Zack sighs and takes off after the girls, just yet another thing to add to the ever-growing lists of talking about. Cloud’s right at his side, though, must not be that bad, despite the sudden screaming he was doing not minutes ago. They round the first corner and see the girls down the street. Tifa’s pulled ahead of Aerith, but not by much, they’ll catch up to the girls in no time, since they are running at Aerith’s speed.

They hear the scream, Zack’s guessing the thief girl, didn’t sound like Aerith or Tifa. Doesn’t matter, pushes them both to speed up and round the corner as well, seconds after their girls.

Right into a thick sweet-smelling pink gas.

“Fuck,” Cloud mumbles, knocks into him.

Zack’s getting dizzy, sees Tifa and Aerith on the ground, falls right to his knees. Hears Cloud crash down too, thinks he hears him mumble.

“Corneo” and then nothing.

***

Cissnei makes sure to get to ShinRa extra early, beat most of the employees to work. Not her own co-workers, Reno and Rude practically live at HQ, hovering in and out of the SOLDIER floors, hiding away at internal affairs and security. She’s not sure they even have homes to go too. If she’s lucky, she won’t have to deal with them till after she gets to the old record floor.

She drops her things off in her office, keeping her head down, but no sign of anyone yet. Even Tseng isn’t there when she peeks her head in. That meeting is still going to get skipped, she doesn’t really care anymore if Tseng gets irritated with her.

There are a few troopers hovering around, and a group of newly-promoted SOLDIERS are heading towards the training floors, by non-other than Roche, poor bastards. The SOLDIERS are always odd, even Reno thinks they are a bit spooky, but some are far worse than others. Zack’s been the most normal SOLDIER she’s ever met, personality-wise anyway. Maybe that’s why she’s so stuck on him. She’s tired of seeing good people get screwed over. They’re Turks, they are supposed to be keeping the company from doing this kind of shit, not becoming their dirty work. Eventually, she guesses, that’s what all secret departments become. No one to run them but themselves.

The records floor is quiet, no one really ever comes up here anymore, not since they’ve expanded their databases. She’s not sure why it’s still even around. Maybe President Shinra just never bothered transferring paper to data.

She doubts Rufus will either.

Her heart starts to pound as soon as her fingers touch the cold door handle. She’s thought about who might show up to meet her, but…well if they are feeling as disgruntled with ShinRa as she is, that could be dangerous to let on. Reno and Rude only ever voice their concerns with Tseng and only cause somewhere in that icy exterior, Tseng doesn’t really want to hurt innocent people either.

There are floors and floors of books and old data drives, so much of it’s hard to believe ShinRa was once just an electric company. No one in here and she’s five minutes early. Maybe whoever she’s meeting is already here, she goes deeper into the rows and rows of shelves. Seems to never end.

Cissnei nearly shouts as she rounds the next little walkway, almost runs right into, Director Reeve?

“Director,” she rights herself, schools her face into a cool neutral expression.

Reeve seems, agitated, nervous. What’s he doing here on the records floor? Shouldn’t he be kissing Rufus’s ass along with the rest of the department leads?

“Agent Cissnei, u-uh,” he clears his throat, like that’s really hiding his nerves, “can I help you?”

She eyes him, “Can I help _you_ , Director Reeve?”

Might as well scare him away, she’s not here to meet him. Reeve’s too gentle of a man to really get involved with sabotage, she’s sure this is where that email is leading. Even if he doesn’t agree with the other leads, she’s never known him to speak out once he’s been shut down.

He just blinks at her, straightens his tie. She resists rolling her eyes.

“I’m investigating an internal affairs matter, seems to be questionable motives that Tseng has asked me look into.” That out to scare him off, even if it is half a lie. Questionable to ShinRa, but not to her.

It does scare him, he stutters something she doesn’t catch and leaves, quickly, eyes down. She’ll have to look into his nervous behavior, just a dead giveaway he’s doing something he shouldn’t be.

She only has to wander a bit more before Mayor Domino’s assistant comes slinking from the bookshelves. Touches her arm very lightly, “this way, miss.”

Right, so it’s Domino that contacted her, there’s no one else here.

His office is a stark contrast to the bright library-like record room. Dark, too many screens and cold, the more typical ShinRa decor.

“Agent Cissnei,” yeah, the dramatic chair turn isn’t really necessary. She hopes this is not really just another dud. She keeps her amused smile to a minimum.

“Mayor Domino, keeping busy?”

Doing nothing for ShinRa. Everyone always just pretends Domino is an employee, face value. Make the people feel more secure she supposes, giving someone a ‘mayor’ title. Midgar is a company built city, there’s no government outside ShinRa. It’s ShinRa law or nothing.

“Not as much as I like-” she sees it coming, the rant. The only other thing Domino is known for, his ranting.

She cuts it off quickly, “I’m sorry sir, but I’m here on a hunch. You have something for me? Time’s a little short.”

He snorts, clicks his cane against his desk, “Actually, I agree. Time is running short, but I need to know you won’t go running to your Turk family with this.”

She frowns. So, more serious than she thought then. She glances at the door, at the wall of screens behind him.

“This room secure?” She asks. Gets a nod, “alright, then shoot. You told me you can get me what I need and I need access to Rufus’s files.”

“Actually, I have more than that, I already have his files.”

What, “How?”

More tapping with his cane.

“Does it matter; I’m not sure what your intentions are with this information.”

She doesn’t sigh out loud, “I just…need to help a friend.”

The screens flicker behind him, and Zack pops up, him and Strife, and the three girls that had broken in, all of them running around Hojo’s lab.

“This friend.”

She narrows her eyes, maybe Domino isn’t as fool-hearty as everyone thinks he is.

“You helped them then? Seemed so easy for them to get away.”

He nods, “before I give you Rufus’s files, you need to know that I no longer have loyalties to ShinRa.”

And she does. Well…loyal to the Turks and the line is quickly blurring. As much as it bothers her, she can’t just sit back and watch people be killed. Killed in such high numbers. How could she possibly still side with ShinRa…even Rude and Reno wavered a bit there. She knows it bothers them, sees it in their eyes. Seems to bother Reno the most, he hasn’t been as cocky lately. Spaces out too often.

“So, who are you loyal too?”

His supplier, they are helping Zack? Is that who he’s with now? The only recent push back against ShinRa has been Avalanche, no matter how much President Shinra and Heidegger tried to push it on Wutai.

That is one thing. At least Rufus is not after another war like his Father.

So Avalanche it is. Then…Zack’s with Avalanche, working for them? Or just…his friends? Either way, that will make him an enemy. She’s quickly going in that direction too. Does she want too? Does she want to turn against her family? The Turks, they saved her from a lonely life, a hard one even.

Didn’t save all those people.

“Ah, see you’ve figured it yourself. Expected from a spy.”

That’s what she is.

“Alright, then what does Avalanche want with Rufus?”

“Not with Rufus, more…his things.”

Just a supply steal then? Disappointing. She sighs.

“Agent Cissnei, there has been a shift, in Avalanche’s concerns. We are not asking for your loyalty, just that you aren’t loyal to Rufus. By all means, agent, don’t turn against the Turks.”

Rufus is a Turk…technically. Isn’t that the same thing, then?

“I don’t see how that is possible.”

“It is. You’ll see in time. Here, this is what I need from you, in exchange for Rufus’s files.”

He throws a thick file at her, along with the data chip from Rufus’s computer.

“You’re just giving me both? What if I decide not to help you?”

Domino shrugs, “Avalanche has other means, but…with your help it will certainly be easier.”

The file is hot in her hand, her heart hasn’t stopped pounding. Should she do this?

“Think it over, the mission begins tonight at 8, I think that’s enough time to decide. Meet in the lower parking garages. If you don’t show within the hour, we’ll say this never happened.”

She’s not sure she can act like that but, not too much choice now. She nods and finality hangs in the air. She turns to leave.

“Cissnei, remember who _chose_ to drop a plate on innocent people.”

Right.

Back at her office, she takes a look at Rufus’s files first. They are…mildly boring. More on Sephiroth, a lot more, that’s a surprise. By the way ShinRa’s new president has been acting; she didn’t expect Sephiroth to be so high on his radar.

The only other odd thing that stands out is the mention of materia. So much materia, about odd ones, stories of legendary materia created by the ancients, powerful ones that can decide the fate of Gaia herself. So it’s back to this then. Must be why Tseng is so attached to Rufus. They both believe this shit?

The promised land.

Or more the power of the promised land. Rufus…his need to control with fear and power, it’s an unfortunate gene that runs deep in the Shinra family. Rufus has noted one materia in particular, legends of a black materia, a powerful weapon. So that’s his end game plan? Just more power over the public. It’s sad, really. To have such focus on controlling others.

Is that why then, he wants Sephiroth found? He thinks the dead SOLDIER will just get in his way of total control? Sad again. She resists pulling on her own hair. She wishes she could speak to Tseng about this. Even Reno.

Maybe, Rude, if she can get him alone. He’s always been the sweet one out of all of them. Hesitates the most when innocent people are put in danger. Hell, he puts up with Reno’s dumb ass, the poor guy, can’t get sweeter than that.

“Okay, time to see what Avalanche thinks I can help with.”

It’s a thick file, the first thing that falls open with the folds, are schematics.

For an airship. HIGHWIND, in large letters in the far right corner. Followed by reports on how the construction is going, the latest one, states almost finished. Able to fly, but still has some cosmetic work and a few bugs to work out.

What’s Rufus want with an airship? Search for all those legendary materia? She huffs, Rufus is crazier then she thought. Don’t know why his little coo to kill his own father didn’t tip her off, but, here she is, deciding if she should go through with her own mutiny.

The file has more information on the HIGHWIND airship, and the mechanic who drew up the schematics and started construction, looks like late last year. Cid Highwind. Oh boy. She’s pretty sure Avalanche kidnapped the poor guy some time ago. Back when Rufus was funneling money to them.

“This…is giving me a headache,” she says out loud. Nope, still got the head pressure, she thought maybe if she admitted it, it would leave her alone.

Didn’t Rufus cut funding to Highwind’s space project too? The Space and planetary defense department hardly gets money anymore. It all goes to Hojo and Heidegger now. Cid can’t be too happy about that either. He probably hates Avalanche and ShinRa equally. How’d Rufus get his hands on Highwind’s airship anyway?

Oh-right here, he stole it from him. Real nice there, _boss_.

The very last page in the file are small note-outlines of Avalanche’s plans. This is a lot that Domino is trusting she won’t snitch on. Looks like…get Cid Highwind to agree to help Avalanche. Mission starts at 8 tonight, take a chopper out to RocketTown, and what…convince him to help Avalanche, for what?

They only reason they would need Highwind, is because he knows his projects in and out, that would certainly make it easier to - oh _shit._

Steal the airship…they want to _steal_ an airship right of Rufus Shinra’s hands.

She’s also not sure how any of this helps Zack. Or how she is helpful in this situation.

It’s nearly lunch, time flies when thinking about betraying all your friends. No matter how scummy they are sometimes. Still got half the day to decide then. The way her heart is thumping, she already knows, just doesn’t want to admit it quite yet.

She’s going to go find Reno and punch him. That’ll make her feel better. He’s done something to deserve it, she’s sure.

***

Tifa wakes slowly, not expecting to be in some…it’s not a dungeon, but it’s not a nice room either. There are things scattered all over and a nasty looking chair in the corner. It's got wrist restraints. Reminders her all too much of-

 _Son of a bitch_.

Corneo.

That gas, she knew it was familiar, smells sweet, too strong of a knockout gas. What’s that bastard doing here? Actually, makes sense. He ‘ratted’ out ShinRa to them, must be on the run from them. Wutai’s the only last place out of ShinRa’s grasp, for the most part. She shouldn’t have just darted off like that, should have just pulled Aerith to a stop. But…she’d been so panicky about her Holy materia, the one from her Mother.

Plus, she’ll admit she didn't think. That little brat, took her chakra materia, she’s had it since she was a teenager. Her dad gave it to her…when she started her martial arts training. It’s the only thing left she has of him.

Okay, she’s gotta get herself up from the floor first and find Aerith, and that little brat too. Not even a thief deserves Corneo’s attention. There is no one with her, not even a guard, weird, she’d think…after what they did to him. The door isn’t even locked.

She sticks her head out into a very wide hallway, delicate sliding doors that open into a massive courtyard. Huh, nicer then that room she was just in. She can’t see anyone in the yard, so she quietly sneaks out and slides the open door closed, just in case. Tifa’s got no idea where to look, she hopes the boys saw her and Aerith get taken. This will be much easier with two mako powered boys running in to save them. They’re owed a save anyway. Right now Tifa’s pretty sure she’s two up on them, for Corneo the first time, Cloud on the plate, and then ShinRa.

Okay, that’s three then.

She moves quietly through the hallway, careful to peek into any room she comes across. The first two are locked, so she just presses her ear to the door and listens.

Nothing, so Aerith’s not there or she’s not awake. She hopes it’s the not there.

The third room gets her a surprise.

Zack’s there and not looking too hot either. No one’s with him, but from the blood on him, there was. She closes the door as quietly as she can. She can’t even heal him, she’s got no stupid materia.

“Zack,” she dares to whisper as loudly as she can, usually this style of building, thin walls, and thinner doors, “Zack, hey.”

He’s tied pretty roughly to that wooden chair, chin touching his chest, she sees the blood dripping onto his shirt and winces, whoever was here, really did a number on him. Corneo must be…more than angry. Aerith had pulled her away, out of his mansion back at Wall Market but…Cloud and Zack, are not as forgiving as she is. Though, she kinda wishes now they had just killed the bastard.

Guess that means he got Cloud too. She sighs, kneels behind Zack, and starts untying the tight, thick robe. She can’t hold out for rescue this time either. That's okay, she's not one to sit around anyway.

He starts waking just as she’s pulled apart the last knot.

“Huh, uh-”

“-here,” Tifa says, hanging low for a moment in case Zack starts swinging, “it’s just me-”

“Tifa?”

“Ye-p,” she comes around to really get a look at his face. She tries not to wince. _Tries._

His laugh’s got a small stint of pain to it, “that bad huh?”

That cut above his brow is pretty nasty, and his lip is split long, deep, swelling already, and he’s got a heavy nose bleed again. She hopes that wasn’t any static from him, that had been even more terrifying at ShinRa, when Sephiroth was trying to force his way in Zack’s brain. So much blood then.

“You’re not healing…”

Zack’s laugh is bitter and he coughs halfway, frowns in disgust, and spits to the side, a whole glob of blood. Tifa winces again.

“Gave me something, dunno, some kind of remedy, Corneo’s pretty fucking pissed off. Can’t believe that asshole’s here.” He’s rubbing at his wrists, looking pretty bruised already.

“Sorry, I don’t have my healing materia, that little brat stole it.”

Zack nods, stands slowly, but manages to hide a wince halfway from her, “okay, let’s get Cloud, he’s over on t-”

Nope, no Cloud in here, she frowns harder at him when Zack realizes that too.

“Zack, it’s okay, we’ll find him,” She can see the panic already building in his eyes.

“Fuck…Tifa, this isn’t good. Corneo’s not fucking around this time.”

“Was he hurt?”

Zack shakes his head, looking around for his buster now, but that’s not in here either, “no...made him watch, while I got the shit kicked outta me, they gave him something too, made him pretty lucid.”

Great.

“Let’s go, we need to find Aerith too, and our materia.”

Sneaking around with Zack is actually harder than Tifa thought. He’s got heavy footsteps, used to just using his brute strength, she feels a little bad, but she wishes she had stumbled across Cloud instead. He’s so light on his feet, sneaks up on her even when she knows he’s around.

Zack keeps muttering about how he should have just killed Corneo too. She’s got to glare at him to shush him more than once.

Lucky them, they find Cloud a few doors down and they've interrupted...Tifa doesn't want to think about it. 

There are three guys with him, two of them are putting a good show of holding Cloud down on a steel table. Struggling though, even with whatever they gave Cloud, he’s stronger, sitting up for the most part and pulling against their pushing. It's keeping Cloud's focus from the third guy though. He's real confident and real creepy. Running his hand on top of Cloud's thigh, twisting a shredded dagger in the light threatening. Tifa doesn't like the way he moves between Cloud's legs. Seems to like Cloud squirming to break the hold he’s in. 

Zack’s whole body goes stiff and she can feel him pulling all the mana he’s got into his strength, a weird force of wind pulling in towards him, makes the end of her hair stand up.

"Zack, get that guy-"

Zack’s already got it covered; Hand just smashing into the guys face in a tight, painful grip and throws the guy caressing Cloud’s thighs clear across the room in one throw.

“Hey-what the fuck-Ack.” The second guy doesn’t even get a chance to defend himself; Tifa’s got him on the ground. She lands an extra hard punch to his stomach as he’s going down. Cloud's shoving the third one-off, a sick crunch as his head collides with the table on the way to the floor.

Assholes.

Cloud’s sitting up, breathing through some anger looks like, his eyes are partially faded and unfocused. Even when Zack’s coming to block him from the whole room, hands going to his jaw, tilting his head up to look.

“Shit, Cloud, that asshole touch you?”

Cloud laughs, cuts himself off with a very worried gasp once he looks up properly into Zack’s face.

“Zack, wha-” reaches up and touches Zack’s face too.

Now she’s just staring at them holding each other's faces. Sweet and all, but Aerith’s still somewhere in this place.

She goes to peer outside the door, in case anyone heard the scuffle.

“Healing's not working.” She hears Cloud say, glances back at them. He’s standing now, still up in Zack’s space, getting his arms around his waist.

Oh, they’re _fine_ , she’s gonna leave them to it. She slips out of the room and keeps going down the hall. It’s finally at an end, just one last doorway left, it’s huge, double doors. She’s got a feeling Corneo’s in this one. Who would have guessed, the gaudy bastard. She really hopes Aerith’s not there with him. Tifa’s careful, pushing the door open, pokes her head in this room too.

No Aerith, but that thief is in here. Tifa almost feels like leaving her, but…

She’s so _young_ , younger than her, not even out of her teens yet. She's strapped to a chair like Zack, facing mostly sideways. Looks like a giant bed, like Corneo’s in Wall Market. Tifa feels her stomach drop. Aerith said...they know her. They're supposed to know her. Yeah, she can’t leave her. She works fast, knowing Corneo’s got cameras hidden somewhere in here. Even though she’s not entirely sure how he’s even able to…Whatever. She doesn’t want to know the sick things he's getting up too out here.

The girl’s pretty out of it, but one drowsy look up and her eyes widen. Tifa’s quick to press a finger to her own lips in a ‘shush’ motion, goes about untying her, ankles first. She pauses at her wrists, looks into her young face sternly.

“You’re going to give back all that materia you stole from me and my friend.” She whispers.

The girl smirks through her dazed gaze, “or what?” That's a lot of attitude for someone about to get molested.

It’s going to be like that then. Tifa stands, takes a step back. She hears movement from behind her, probably Corneo coming, her boys are still swooning over each other in that room Cloud was in.

It’s not very nice of her, she feels bad for even thinking about it, so young. This girl is barely sixteen?

“Have you met Don Corneo? Place like this, he’s here frequently.” She takes another step back, faking leaving. The girl's eyes widen a bit with worry, “I’ll bet he’s got a reputation around here too. You wanna find out if it’s true, you keep what you stole.” She slides over, closer to the door.

The girl lunges in the chair, eyes going mad to hide the fear Tifa saw just a second ago.

“You’d leave a little girl here to that perv!”

Well damn, now she’s yelling.

“Just need my materia back.” This girl has really no idea.

Honestly, Tifa doesn't either. But the panic in Aerith's voice when she realized her Holy materia was gone. As if the whole world had just ended. More footsteps, but down the hallway this time. Must be her SOLDIER boys catching up. They bust in the room not a second after the thought, oh-good, found their swords.

“Come on,” Tifa turns her back, brats like this one, fear usually wins out, but only if you push it far enough, “Aerith’s not here guys, let's go.”

“Bu-” Zack’s eyeing the girl behind Tifa.

“I said- _let’s go_.”

“Hey! Y-you can’t leave me here.”

Cloud even looks uncomfortable, but Tifa’s not budging. Aerith needs that Holy materia. They follow her out. The doors close behind them for only a second before-

“Okay! I’m sorry, please, I’ll give them back. Just-ah! Don’t touch me!”

Tifa spins back around immediately, kicks the door down. Corneo’s all up in the poor girl's face, a pervy smirk on and hands just a little too high on her bare legs. Tifa frowns; he's sicker then she thought. She's a _child._

Corneo recovers fast to them jumping into the room on him; eyes get dark and sneers at them.

“I see, my boys didn’t take good enough care of you,” frowns even harder at Cloud and Zack, “guess I should have hired more serious professionals for SOLDIERS.”

“SOLDIERS!” The girl yelps, “You’re fucking ShinRa mutts, no way, I’m not giving you back any materia!”

Cloud sighs, clearly tired of all this unneeded drama. Tifa agrees, she just wants to get her materia back, find Aerith and get back to the Avalanche base.

And take a long ass nap. Can’t they go anywhere anymore without falling into some kind of mishap? She’ll have to ask Aerith it that’s a side effect from all the timelines collapsing, gotta make them suffer somehow for messing with the universe, right? Why Corneo though, that's just the worst punishment.

“You didn’t steal any materia from me,” Cloud says, doesn’t even bother drawing his sword, just lets his wrist start crackling.

Not a minute later and the building shakes with thunder. Oh, he’s doing the storm thing again. There’s flashing in the room, drawing all the light low and then Corneo’s writhing on the floor, shocks jumping all long his large, jiggly body.

Zack’s drawing his buster and steps over Corneo’s twitching body, “Should have just killed you in Wall Market.”

Tifa’s surprised Corneo can even manage that sinister of a smirk, “And rob me of m-my revenge. Bet y-your little blondie over there liked what my guys gave him.”

Wrong taunt, Zack’s got that dark look shadowing his face. Tifa averts her gaze as Zack slashes right through Corneo. One cut, one stab, she can just hear him die, heavy body void of all sound.

She doesn’t even feel bad. Not about Corneo, this poor girl with them though, she’s acting tough, but there’s real fear there in her brown eyes. Cloud’s trying to help untie her, but she’s kicking at him with her free legs.

“Get away from me ShinRa Lapdog! I-I don’t need your help.”

Cloud snorts, just keeps avoiding her leg kicks easily, “right, how come you haven’t gotten yourself outta those restraints then?” He’s all biting voice and hard frown, but he’s got his soft eyes staring at her.

She huffs at him, but seems to settle down the more he waits her out, staring down at her with patience he normally doesn’t save for strangers. Must be because she’s a kid. She gets all flustered eventually and stills. Avoids looking too closely at Cloud as he kneels and starts loosening the rope at her wrists. Tifa snorts, got a little crush on him already. That turned around real fast from all the ShinRa mutt yelling.

Cloud’s just finished, when there’s a very loud scuffle and Aerith comes rushing into the room, breathing heavy, eyes wide and…

A folding chair held high above her head.

“Okay! I found a folding chair, let me at him.” She practically yells at them, shaking with excitement? Tifa’s gonna have to teach her a few combat moves, if she’s this jazzed for some fighting action. Or maybe she just really likes to hit people with chairs.

“Aerith,” Zack’s not holding in his laughter very well, “I think…you’re a little late.”

“Huh?” She blinks at him, looks at Corneo’s very bloody body on the ground, and then back at Zack. Tifa’s never seen a more disappointed pout in her life. And she grew up with Cloud.

“But…I gotta folding chair.”

So sad, and really adorable, the disappointment on Aerith’s pretty pixie face. Tifa's better at holding her laugh then Zack is. He hisses from the re-splitting of his lip.

“Uh,” Tifa tries, “you can…hit one of his goons on the way out?”

“Goons, Tifa, what year are you living in?”

Tifa rolls her eyes, even sticks her tongue out at Aerith a bit. She gets a pretty soft laugh for it, so that’s nice.

“W-ell, thanks for the save, peace!” Cloud’s got the thief girl by the scarf, she doesn’t even make it one step outta that chair.

“Nuh,” Cloud says, he’s not really focusing on her though, he’s eyeing Zack, “I think you have something that doesn’t belong to you.”

Aerith drops the chair, _finally._ Comes to stand in front of the girl, holds her hand out with a flat facing up palm.

“Give it back Yuffie.” She says.

Yuffie gasps, looks disturbed, and then pouts. They really do know her then. It's still going to be a while before Tifa gets used to this knowing the future thing.

“How’d you know my name?”

“Mmm,” Aerith wiggles her fingers at her, “I know lots of things. Like how much materia you’re holding and what your father will say about you sneaking around stealing from Wutai citizens.”

“I’m stealing from ShinRa!”

“Oh?” Cloud yanks a bit harshly on her scarf, “how do you know they’re from Midgar?”

Quiet, Yuffie’s glaring pretty hard at Aerith.

“No huh? Okay, how about a trade then. You can keep the materia you stole-”

“-Excuse me, I don’t think so-” Tifa says.

“-you just have to give back the little white one and the chakra one.”

Tifa wants all of them back. She spent forever leveling up her wind materia. She sighs, crosses her arms, and glares at a spot above Aerith's head. Her chakra is the most important one…it's better than not getting it back at all. Yuffie seems to think that’s not a deal at all, but with four against one little teen baby, she doesn’t really have a choice. They could just do this the easy way and knock her out.

“Look,” Cloud’s starting to get a nasty clip in his voice, eyes going real hard now, “we saved you from Corneo, you wanna stay here and find out what his thugs will do to you when they wake up?”

“No…”

“Then pay up,” Cloud lets her go on goodwill, “give us the two materia back as payment.”

“Fine,” She digs around in her little back pouch and pulls out Tifa’s chakra (she knows it is hers, there’s some scuff on it from when she dropped it all the time as a teen) and Aerith’s hairpin, her Holy materia glittering small and delicate on it. Gives them to Cloud instead of Aerith, stares at him too long too. Yeah, major crush.

“See, not so hard huh, Yuffie?”

“Seriously, how do you know…me, _hey_ -” She’s all rush talking and then slows, blinking at Zack over Cloud’s shoulder, “I know you.”

Zack’s whole body stiffens, that dark look…when they talk about the war, comes back in his eyes. He slips his buster back on and walks for the door.

“Sorry, kid. I don’t know any Wutai citizens.”

“But-”

Aerith’s giving her a little push, “Better get a move on, before those thugs start coming around.”

Yuffie shutters and spins right out the door, runs down the opposite hallway from Zack, not without stealing one more glance at him, her face set in some kind of determination. One that says she'll be seeing them again. At least Aerith looks amused, found even. So, maybe next time Yuffie won't be so...teenager-y.

The four of them stand in the silent room, listening to the storm Cloud had summoned fade out.

“Okay,” Zack speaks up, voice a lot lighter and more normal, “who’s got healing materia, cause this shit,” he waves at his beat-up face, “stings _real_ bad. My healing's still not kicking in.”

“You have one, Zack.” Aerith says, she seems pretty drained.

“I’m all out of mana…plus I left it back at the base. Switched out for my fire materia and my SHIELD when we sparred in Kalm. I just…didn’t put it back.”

Right, cause the accelerated SOLDIER healing. Cloud’s all quiet, even though he has a Healing materia glittering green at them. Must be out of mana too, creating that storm, probably a little overkill, but, it did scare the crap out of Corneo.

“Can we just, get out of here?”

“Yeah.” Tifa agrees, they just got here and she already wants to be back in Midgar, “let’s get back to the base.”

“Man,” Zack sighs, waits for Cloud to slide up next to him, and drapes a heavy arm across his shoulders, “I’m really tired of Wutai already.”

Aerith laughs, hip bumps her way up to Tifa with a tired smile, “you know what Zack, I think I’m starting to agree with you.”

“Me too.” Cloud’s real quiet, echoes a bit late after them in his awkward social timing.

Tifa is definitely staying on base for a while.

***

“Your healing is kicking in,” Cloud says the moment their door closes to their tiny, sad, dark issued room.

Zack sighs, winces with the pull on his lip, and sits down heavily on their pushed together twin beds. Cloud’s standing at the door all pretty and worried.

“Yeah? Feels like it’s not. Damn, I really forgot how normal people feel when they're injured.”

Cloud’s sweet to laugh despite it falling flat and his smile never reaching his eyes. Zack notices his left fingers are still twitching.

“Come here, wanna see those pretty eyes better.”

He does, but only after retrieving a towel and damping it. He stands in between Zack’s legs, grabbing his jaw a little too tightly and starts dabbing at the cut over his brow. It doesn’t sting, Cloud’s right then. Whatever Corneo had given him, it’s wearing off. Still only getting slow as fuck healing though, his lip is _throbbing._ Cloud is quiet and focused, but his mind’s racing, pushing a lot of emotions at Zack. He can’t grasp them, just a conflict of fine and slightly not fine.

Zack reaches out, skims his fingers over Cloud’s torso…where that guy was touching him.

“Zack,” Cloud lifts his chin up higher, gets a better look at the cut on his lip, “stop, nothing happened. I had it under control.”

Zack sighs, gets a tap on his jawline for breathing into Cloud’s face, he’s so close. So pretty. He’s got a tight grip on his face, but gentle around his cuts, wiping away slowly, making sure all the dried blood won’t stick on his skin. Takes longer than necessary on his brow, cleans up his right cheek, Zack must have smeared his blood from the nosebleed.

“Every time we go somewhere one of us has gotta get all bloodied.”

Cloud huffs, staring pretty hard at his lip cut.

“It’s you mostly,” he says.

Right, Cloud just gets fatally injured instead. Zack’s lip twitches, pulls roughly on the cut.

“ _Zack_.”

He laughs, pushes forward to Cloud’s shoulder, careful just to rest his forehead.

“Sorry, sorry. Automatic, ya know?”

Cloud’s got no patience for him, yanks him back with a soft grip in his hair, and keeps dabbing at his face.

“Or you could just _not_.”

Zack pouts at him, pulls the cut again, “ow, _shit_.”

Cloud’s glaring, absolutely no sympathy anywhere, finally puts the towel down.

“Fine, keep reopening it.”

He’s moving away from the warmth of Zack’s legs. He doesn’t want him too, grabs him around the waist and pulls him against him, fitting his chin along the curve of Cloud’s neck and shoulder.

“No, stay right here.” Zack’s already placing his hands on the small of his back, keep Cloud all pressed in close.

“Zack,” So exasperated with him. Rest his arms on Zack’s shoulders anyway. Barely twitches when Zack slips his fingers under his waistband. Leans smoothly down when Zack sits up straighter to kiss him.

It stings…actually…it stings really _good._ Cloud’s lips are nice and soft, his tongue warm and wet soothes the throbbing after a pull. Zack can’t stop the deep, moan of relief from the constant pulsing He realizes a little late, probably bleeding all over Cloud.

 _Again._ Pulls away and looks up at Cloud. Tastes just the tiniest like copper.

“Sorry, gotta stop doing that.” He mutters, a little hazy and he feels his lip finally close up.

Cloud’s still in his arms, focuses on Zack’s lips before shoving him back and pressing in. There’s no more cut to soothe, but the flesh underneath is still new and tender. Sends strong tingles all down Zack’s spine and Cloud lingers over the spot, pressing of his tongue, slide of his lips. He stays with tender pressure and pleasant weight on Zack, for hours or minutes, he can’t tell.

Just feels like Cloud’s telling him he loves him. Gets that heat going low in his stomach.

That knocking on their door is ruining all of it.

“Just ignore them,” Zack mumbles against his lips.

More knocking, “Stop whatever you're doing, I’m coming in, these doors don’t have locks you know.”

Son-of-a-bitch.

Jessie’s eyes are sparkling with way too much delight as she pokes her head in. Cloud rolls off him to the side just lays there with his face in the mattress. Jessie laughs.

“What do you need Jessie?” Zack sits up.

“Gotta leave base for a bit, Barret says he needs everyone up early for a meeting tomorrow.”

Zack knows his eye twitches, that’s it. That’s all she had to say? It's not even evening yet, just after four.

“Jessie.” He warns.

She’s all grins and whistles, “Whe-lp, see ya later then, don’t forget, paper-thin walls!” and closes their door again. Why is she doing this, torture, all these girls he's surrounded himself with. They all love to torture him and Cloud.

Zack groans and twists, collapses half onto Cloud, slipping his hand up his shirt. Doesn’t stay there, Cloud’s rolling away even more, sits up all ruffled haired. Zack whines at him. They don’t have to fuck, he just wants to be touching him. He scoots over and presses his face against Cloud’s thigh, throwing his arm over his lap. Pretends not to hear his sigh, it's followed with Cloud's strong hands sinking into his hair. Feels nice.

Zack’s just gotta be close to him. More so when something happens to them, as mild as it was, as far as danger goes. Dealing with Corneo, _again._ Plus now they have to go buy new materia, Aerith can’t be without a healing one and Tifa’s way to skilled with wind attacks to let that slide.

Zack spaces out in the quiet, with Cloud’s hands in his hair. His even breathing soothing.

He's got all weird jumbled feelings, Angeal a constant ghost in his mind, and the rage from Corneo finally settling.

Can't think enough how lucky he is, gets to rid all his hollowness in Cloud's skin and gentle touches.

***

She didn’t think so early in the night would be the best time to sneak around ShinRa, especially down in the parking garages where there are constant supply trucks leaving and going. But she’s greeted with a very deserted, echoing level of concrete and flickering florescent lights. She’s also right on time, all nervous and still thinking in her head she should just turn back, focus on finding Sephiroth first and leave all this… sabotaging to someone less conflicted.

Yet she's about to put herself in hot lava. She’s not sure who she’s supposed to be meeting, but there’s a small touch to her back and a quiet “this way,” from a vaguely familiar voice.

It’s a SOLDIER, he’s wearing a 2nd class uniform. She furrows her brows, didn’t really expect a SOLDIER to be in on this. She follows him around the far end of the garage level, to a darker corner where all the trooper bikes are parked. Still no one else. She stares at his back the whole time, his stature seems familiar too, it’s itching at the tip of her brain but-

“This one agent, gotta wait thirty after, till can we leave.” waves her over to a bike.

“We?”

“Yes ma'am.”

“Right, SOLDIER-“

He smirks at her under his helmet, and his name just clicks in her mind, she's heard it enough, that's for sure.

“-Kunsel, ma'am.”

Zack’s Kunsel, she’s only met him in passing, but Zack talked about him constantly.

“So you know what our…contact wants done?”

“Sure do, heard you’re doing this for a friend.”

Zack. Their common link to ShinRa’s demise.

“Just tell me…he’s alive right? Zack, it’s really him and Cloud?”

She’s surprised he doesn’t know, from the way Zack spoke of him, Kunsel was always in on secrets and information even some of the lead department heads didn’t know. He frowns at her silence, turns his back on her.

“A few of the troopers in my platoon…they said it was them, got cut down pretty hard. I saw their wounds, looks like Zack’s buster. But I can’t get access to the security tapes. Domino’s keeping it pretty hushed up.”

“Yeah, they’re alive, talked to Zack myself…well, more like got slashed at but..;”

“I knew it,” Kunsel says under his breath, more to himself than her. He's tense, all down his spine. Feels guilty like she does?

“Is this why you’re doing this?”

He smirks at her, “betraying ShinRa you mean?”

She holds in her wince.

“I’ve been looking for Zack since he went missing. Kind of just stumbled into this Avalanche business.”

“You don’t…feel bad?”

His laugh is bitter and sounds tired, “Look, we can’t all pretend it was Avalanche that dropped that plate. I don’t know about you, it's getting pretty hard coming in every day and pretending everything is normal."

“Mm,”

“Look, I get it,” he motions for her to swing her leg over, he’s warming up the bike, “you’re a Turk, but thinking ShinRa and your friends are the same thing…we’re all getting screwed over, even the ones that think they’re not.”

Zack, probably the most prime case for that statement. He was so ecstatic about becoming a SOLDIER, helping people. And then…slowly, all the moral people got cut out, died…

She’s making the right decision. She’s sure, this can’t keep going on. Maybe, she can convince Rude and Reno too. Tseng, she wishes she wasn’t giving up on but….

She doesn’t have any words for Kunsel, just grips his waist as he speeds out of the garage and down the highway. They go all the way to the wall, slowing up outside one of the older gates blocking out the desert. Kunsel cuts the engine and stashes the bike around the gate station. It’s empty, no one on duty.

“And they won’t be,” Kunsel says, when she asks, “this isn’t a normal supply run anymore. Too many fiends hanging around.”

Oh, awesome. He laughs at her disapproving frown. She hates dealing with fiends.

“Don’t worry, hear that?”

A faint humming sound getting closer, she can’t see anything in the dark though.

“Helicopter?”

He nods and opens the gate, a slow drag of the hardly used steel. The chopper buzzing just gets louder as they step out from behind the safety of the wall. It’s hovering over them and lowering onto the flattest surface of the cracking earth, a few good meters from them.

The door is sliding open and yet another familiar face is sticking out of the chopper, this one she's only seen on vids.

“Oh geez, Biggs. We’ve got a freakin’ Turk here.” The girl…the Avalanche one that broke into ‘rescue’ Zack.

A rather handsome young man with tanned skin and deep-set eyes sticks his head out too, “and another SOLDIER, what is this? We just magnets for them mutts or what?”

Kunsel lifts his shoulders in surprise, “Another?” he repeats.

“Yeah, you got them pretty eyes too? Our little blondie’s got a real gorgeous pair.” the girl says, her ponytail seems to swing around with its own attitude every time she speaks.

“Cloud?” Kunsel seems a bit dazed and then confused, "Cloud's...a SOLDIER?" he whispers in the night hair. Cissnei's sure she only heard it.

“Mmm? Oh man, you know our boys? Dang, see I told you Biggs, SOLDIER really is a club.” She laughs at herself and scoots back into the chopper, “get in here then. We got a mission to do.”

Cissnei pulls herself in, really, _really_ no turning back now. She’s expecting Kunsel to climb in after her, but he’s still hovering outside.

“Well?” She asks.

“Supposed to just be your ride, Agent.” He looks like he wants to come with, well as much as she can see from under that helmet.

“Might as well just go full sabotage, SOLDIER.” Cissnei says, “You’re just gonna wait here for me to get back? That’s a long night.”

In the distance, faint cries of fiends echo among the rocks. Kunsel wasn’t kidding then, they really are hovering closer and closer to the wall.

“Chop, chop ShinRa!” The girl calls over her shoulder, she’s settling in next to the pilot, “We got an engineer to collect. Apparently, he’s a grumpy bastard too.”

Cissnei laughs, holds her hand out to Kunsel, and waits as the chopper blows her hair around in her face.

Only takes him another few seconds, grabs her hand, and lets her pull him in, just as the helicopter is lifting off the ground.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On the horrible chance of sounding like Reno- yooooo, what the hell does Kunsel look like? Haha, they've never even kinda described him. I wasn't going to put him in for that alone, Mr. Helmet head but...him and Zack are bros. 
> 
> Anyways, thanks for being so sweet, I had to cut this chapter in half it was getting so long! So hopefully I'll have another one up this weekend. You guys have been super patient! I feel bad, I just wanna write for ya'! :) Leave a comment, they make my day, don't be shy, even though I never write back. Are we supposed to, I feel like that's weird, maybe cause I'm an old lady. Just know I appreciate it and it makes me smile so much. 
> 
> See ya next time. 
> 
> PS: Sorry if there's one too many typos, I edited this so late. I'll re-edit and fix it in the morning! Night.


	15. I'll Use You as A Focal Point

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Old friends and dumb boys being dumb. Yet again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Looks like I missed the weekend, so here, new chapter on Monday...er, night, Monday night. 
> 
> Just another *EMOTIONAL* warning. :D
> 
> Happy Reading!

Zack sleeps maybe an hour or two. Tries for a third somewhere around midnight and fails from the constant questions running in his head. Seems to never end, just one after another. Tonight, it is Cloud’s twitching. He should have realized sooner, that it was something other than a stiff muscle. The longer his mind runs circles around it, the more he sees it.

Cloud’s had that twitch since he woke up from his coma. So clearly screaming at him now, at the bar, the few times Jessie had to hold him up. Once when they were sparring…and so often right before one of his static episodes, after them too.

He couldn’t _stop_ noticing it at it in Hojo’s lab. Can’t stop now either, all night, small little finger twitches. Zack feels them on his chest, soft pitter-pattering on his skin.

Cloud is sprawled out on top of him, instead of his usual curled up along his side and against his shoulder. Zack’s shifted more than once trying to fall asleep, Cloud following every move, re-smashing his cheek on his pectoral, weighing Zack down with his body. He doesn't mind, Cloud is not what's keeping him up.

This stupid endless cycle in Zack’s mind is. Just can't quiet it. Cloud is actually helping him, comforting on his chest.

Endearing, wanting to be completely touching him in his rest. If only his twitching would stop. Once every hour, a hard shoulder jerk, rolls down his whole left arm. His hand contracts, nails scrap against Zack, little red marks in his tanned skin.

It’s jarring to see, contrasting against Cloud’s sleep lax face, looks so peaceful and no pain cross his features or body.

Just the twitching. Like he doesn’t feel it happening.

Zack exhales, tightens his arm around Cloud’s waist. Secures him against him, just in case, something happens…in their tiny room. Surrounded by an entire rebellion cause and their very capable friends. Who are all just as fiercely protective of Cloud as he is. He knows, he’s overprotective. Cloud can't glare at him when he's sleeping, so Zack's going to hold him as tight as he wants.

“Hmm-Zack.” Hushed and nearly lost in an exhale. Zack feels him say his name on his skin more than hears him.

Even in sleep. Cloud cuts his tangents off just before they descend into a never-ending cycle that will last all day when the sun rises. Must be their connection. Or just Cloud.

There’s the shoulder twitch. Little red scratches.

Aerith knows what it is. He didn’t miss that far off stare she got. Memory flash maybe…the realization right after, just that split second before Cloud had shouted and fallen against him.

She knows. Anchor effect? Sephiroth induced? Or something that will happen to him? It’s all just guesses for Zack and he just can’t take it anymore. Not with the mako nausea and the still jumbled memories.

He doesn’t talk about it. Zack knows it’s better, knows he remembers Nibelheim now. But…sometimes late in the day, an empty haze will drift into Zack’s mind, small panic following after, just briefly, before it all disappears.

Can’t tighten his grip on him anymore without waking Cloud. Just a small squeeze to relax his nerves, long enough for Cloud to let out a slight sigh and shift his body, relaxing even more into Zack.

There’s a soft knock on his door. A glance at the small clock on the nightstand, it’s not even _four_ yet. It comes again after Zack waits long enough, even softer, longer knuckle taps. He gathers Cloud in both his arms and does a quick smooth rolling to put him on his side. He curls in looking for Zack’s body warmth. So hard to leave him when he does cute shit like that.

Zack chances waking him, pressing his lips on his bare shoulder, and slides off the mattress without dipping in too much.

He knows it’s Aerith at the door, that delicate of a knock.

“I can hear you not sleeping.” She whispers, green eyes wide and awake. Her gaze flutters past his body to Cloud, gets that guilty glint in them every time Cloud’s in any vulnerable state.

“How the walls are not _that_ thin,” Zack whispers back.

She smirks at him, “Couldn’t hear your snores.”

Zack mocks offense at her, “I don’t snore.”

Muffling her laugh, she waves him out into the hallway. He grabs his pants at least, pulls them on with a fast little jump, and follows her out without tying up his boots. She leads him down the hallway and out the back door of the building, away from any light sleepers and into the still humid air. The barracks don’t have anything next to them blocking the ocean view, even in the dark, it’s beautiful.

Zack doesn’t mind Aerith taking him on the short walk to the cliff’s edges. Sometimes, heavy conversations need open air and the stillness of nature. She’s drawn to it, why wouldn’t she be, she’s an ancient, a Cetra. He’ll only understand half as much, her connection to nature and the planet. At least he does understand a little, him and Cloud, country boys. Born in small towns and under open skies.

Realizes it more and more, how much happier he is without the city skyline and the bustling of city folk.

She looks at him in the dark, sits down on the short grass, and dangles her feet over the cliff.

Nearly gives him a heart attack, why is it that everyone he loves wants to be dangling some body part over cliff edges. Doesn’t stop him when she pats the ground next to her. He’s not scared of the heights; just scared of everyone else falling.

“So quiet,” Aerith teases, her hair sways in the warm wind, "Too much to ask?”

He laughs, “Maybe.”

Her smile is sad, demeanor not her normal upbeat attitude.

“I think I talked Tifa’s ear off about all this, figured I could change my targets.”

He laughs again, “At four in the morning? Shouldn’t you be sleeping?” teases her for a happier smile.

It just gets sadder.

“Couldn’t sleep. Got a timeline memory, right after lunch. Can’t really stop thinking about it.”

He's right then, about Cloud, about his twitching. He just hums at her. She’s humoring him. Maybe she really has talked Tifa to death about it, but he’s been sending her looks for days now. The ‘I need to talk to you’ looks.

“How is he? You know…when I’m-” Dead, when he's dead. 

“-Zack, you really wanna know that?”

He winces, “that bad huh?”

She sighs, leans back on her hands, “You know…I never thought it would take this many parallels. It’s always changing, hard to keep up.”

So many times he dies then. Leaves Cloud alone. That’s the worst part, dying doesn’t scare him. He’s a SOLDIER, bred in wartime. No fear of death. He can’t stop thinking about Cloud crying in the rain, his own blood all over his face. Zack thinks it will haunt him for the rest of his life.

“You think this is the last one?” He asks instead.

“It feels final…it’s the one I choose, so I must have felt confident that we’ll have everything we need to win.”

So she really doesn’t know all of it then. He’d thought she’d been lying, about things coming to her in waves. He feels even worse about getting annoyed with her at lunch yesterday.

“Why this one?”

She’s quiet, goes still like Cloud does when he’s upset, “Zack. I know it’s tempting but, there’s a lot that will only hurt for you to know.”

So, she’s kept lip tight because she doesn’t want to hurt him? That’s sweet but, not knowing how to help Cloud is just as painful. There’s got to be something she sees, something that will help him gain any kind of traction. The ground he’s walking on is all slick, he’s just waiting to slip. Worried when he does, Cloud will get damaged more.

“Please, Aerith, I’m struggling here. I don’t know if I’m helping him or hurting him half the time.”

She gasps at him like he’s just slapped her.

“Zack…he’s so reserved, even with you?” She asks, seems amazed Zack doesn't know.

It’s not fair of Zack to say that he is, because he isn’t, not really. Not when Zack can just jump into his brain whenever he wants. He’s sure Cloud tries to hide, but nearly all the time their link is just shoving things through without either of them realizing.

Even without it, Zack’s not blind or dumb. He knows.

Cloud only smiles at him, _really_ smiles. Only laughs his real laugh with him, leans on him, reaches for him. Saves all his honest emotions and all his tenderness for Zack. And yet…

Zack remembers Cloud before all this. Bright-eyed and eager to help out. A constant buzz of laughs and tight quips, an awkwardness that was more silly then painful. Still quieter then anyone he’s ever met, but there was no lingering anger or unwavering in him. Zack had been surprised, when Cloud’s well-hidden low-self-esteem and come out at Nibelheim, with Tifa. 

He’d be fine with Cloud’s changes, all his anger, and his easily triggered reserved nature, if he didn’t think it was because of all his pain. Maybe some of it isn’t and Cloud really is just different now. But he could be happier, Zack just wants to make him happy.

Aerith huffs at him, smacks his bare arm, the sting shaking his thoughts.

“Zack, stop with that look. You think you don’t help? Are you kidding me?”

Zack shrugs, again. He’s not blind. He knows he helps; Cloud wouldn’t be half as open with him if he wasn’t. He just, there’s more he can do. There has to be. 

“Sometimes, it’s just hard to tell.” He admits again to her.

She smiles then, laughs at him like he just said the dumbest thing in the world.

“Way back in the parallel where I started this spell,” she says, her smile softens to a kinder one, “it was just me and Cloud left. All of Gaia was done for, JENOVA had won, killed off nearly everything on the planet.” She twists, pulls her legs in, and faces him, “Sephiroth had been hunting us for months, I’ll never know, the obsession he has with Cloud. It transcends all the timelines. Anyway, we were trapped, about to die, and you know what Cloud asked me for? All that he could think about?”

Zack shrugs, not really. How different is Cloud in that parallel, how different are all of them?

“You,” she slaps her hands on his leg, “ _you_ Zack, he said, ‘Do me a favor, and give me Zack.'”

He can’t help the stuttering breath that takes from him. Aerith’s eyes are misty and her smile fond. At the end of his world, Cloud wanted him.

“He always wants you Zack. Every time he dies, I hear it, in a memory, in the lifestream, sometimes, even in the flowers. You’re always his very last thought.”

Always his beginning too. She doesn’t say it, she doesn’t need to. Cloud always restarts in Nibelheim, when Zack’s pulling him from that mako tank. He’d told him.

“I don’t think you need to worry so much, Zack,” she says, lifts one of her hands and wipes at his cheek. Fuck, he’s crying? Didn’t even feel it, “He _is_ happy, just…with you. You could probably be screaming at him and he’d still be the happiest I’ve ever seen him.”

He can’t help but reach in his mind, Cloud’s still sleeping, Zack gets a warmth from him, deep in his chest that makes the blood start rushing in his heart.

“Ugh, this is embarrassing then.” He says, leans back on one of his hands, turns his head from her. He’s not bashful but, _man_ , crying really should just be a -him -alone thing. Or him and Cloud. He doesn’t mind, Cloud just crowds up to him for affection. Just what Zack likes.

Aerith laughs again, “No, it’s sweet. You just want to help him. So, trust me, mm? You just being you, helps him.”

He really is dumb if he doesn’t believe her. She’s seen him suffer the most, over and over. Zack feels a large bubble of affection for her. He laughs, suddenly lighter, and wipes at the last of his wet cheeks.

“Thanks, girly,” he reaches out and drags her into his space, hugs her tight.

She laughs loudly, leans against him and taps her slender hands on his chest, “okay, you puppy, you can let me go now.”

He gives her one last squeeze before releasing her to scoot back to her own spot. The sun is coming around, the sky the faintest of orange-blue in the far distance, east over the barracks building. They've been out here for a while.

“Just, one more thing,” he says, gets a forlorn look from her too, “the arm thing. Will you tell me, at least, why it’s happening more and more?”

She hums, doesn’t look like she wants too, “I noticed it too, before yesterday. I’m pretty sure it’s a side effect, from the collapsing timelines crashing into this one. Like the nausea you mentioned he gets.”

Right, so his hunch had been right about that. Two things he’ll have to keep track of then. Left-arm and his nausea. He’ll burn it in his mind. He wants to ask what’s making his arm do that, but…he’s already pressing his luck.

“Think he’ll get more of them? Or get worse?” he asks instead.

She shrugs, glances out at the ocean, “I don’t think it’s going to _stop_. He might have the side effects his whole life.”

Cause he’s the anchor, right. The beacon for all the timelines to collapse into.

He’s made Aerith get that guilty look on her face again. Must be so dizzying in her mind, all that information rushing to her. He leans close and bumps shoulders with her, a small apology for upsetting her.

“Must be a real head spin, how you holdin’ up?”

The guilt melts away pretty fast. She twists her shoulders back and forth, swings her feet, over the edge of the cliff again.

“It’s not so bad, I’m pretty good at sorting out my emotions,” flashes Zack her white teeth, “unlike some of us around here.”

He shoulder bumps her again, just a tad harder.

“Don’t worry,” she continues, “Tifa’s been a good sounding board.”

The way she says Tifa’s name, all warm and doe-eyed. He smirks at her, pokes her cheek a few times.

“-Hey-” Starts giggling away.

“So Tifa huh?”

“Oh no, too obvious?”

He’s surprised she’s worried about tha- _ah_ , she’s not. She’s grinning widely at him. Just joking then. He's never known her to be shy.

“Look at us, going for the shy ones, how’d that happen huh?”

He gets a full laugh from her this time, leans back with the force of it.

“It certainly was easier with you.”

Then she goes all serious on him again, stares off at the ocean with growing silence.

The tightening around her eyes, sad movements in her posture. Such a contrast to who she usually is. Her and Cloud, it’s like they’ve lived such long lives already, a dreariness that never really seems to leave them.

“It’s gonna get bad, isn’t it?”

“Not as bad as it’s been.”

That's a shot right through his chest. Stings all throughout his body. What’s he to say to that…

“Aerith.”

He’s stressing her. He needs to trust her; she’ll tell him things he needs to know. Everything else, heartache like she’d said. He’s got enough of that already, between himself and Cloud.

They hang out on the cliffs for a while longer. Avoiding timeline talk as much as possible, even though it’s always lurking. Zack gets Aerith gushing all about Tifa and her pretty red eyes and silky hair. He’s glad, she’s got someone to help her, make her happy. It’s odd seeing her so down. With all the failing parallels rushing at her in her mind, it’s amazing how she’s even half as positive as she normally is.

When the sky is half pink and orange, the stars start to fade, Tifa comes looking for Aerith.

Chases Zack back to the barracks, he doesn't want to bother them. It’s good, Aerith relaxes more the moment Tifa’s pressing her shins to her back and leaning over her with a playful smile. Zack’s kept Aerith in her more dark thoughts enough for the day. Besides, that warmth in his chest, when Aerith told him Cloud asks for him; it makes his soul ache to be with him. Needs to be pressing on his lips and holding him close.

Being Cloud’s one thing across all timelines, in all of the universes.

_Him._

Fuck, he’s really gotta just _be_ with him right now.

Zack’s quiet as he opens the door to their room. Cloud is curled up in a tight ball, looking slightly uncomfortable lying in the middle of the two mattresses. He toes off his boots and unbuttons his pants as he pads over. He’s near tears again, just looking at him.

He hadn’t realized how much of a weight he’d been carrying, worrying if he was enough for Cloud.

Cloud’s twisting towards him as his knee hits the mattress. Looking up at him with one eye hidden behind his stretching arms, he’s all flushed from sleeping curled in and blurry-eyed.

“Where’d you go?” his voice is so low and raspy, his flush just gets deeper as Zack hovers over him.

Not from _sleeping_ then. Zack gets a flash of heat from him, sparks imagines in his mind. All slick skin and tightly pressed bodies, hears moaning in his head that’s not actually happening. Too clear to be just emotions.

“You dreaming about me?” Zack asks, feeling heat high on his own cheekbones. Keeps feeling that heatwave too, hears a gasp in their mind link. Cloud’s still coming out of his dream. Shifts sleepily, opening his body even more for Zack to lean down against.

“Yeah,” Not even a stutter, no bashful eye look away. Gets a lusty smirk and heavy-lidded eyes. _Fuck._

Zack’s hard instantly, his heart thudding and lungs already needing more air. Cloud’s dream mingles with his heart-to-heart with Aerith; it’s all too much for Zack to take. How much he loves Cloud…seeing Cloud need him, feeling it in his head, knowing it spans across all time and universe. Needs him emotionally, needs him physically, just…Cloud _needs_ him. Overwhelmingly.

Zack nearly comes from all of it and wants to cry at the same time.

Cloud’s reaching up, pulling him down for a breathy kiss. Slow and wet, fogging Zack’s mind and pulling him in deeper. He’s _still_ hearing the echoes of their dream-moans in Cloud’s head. He shifts down, moving Cloud around below him. Tucks him more under him, so Zack can slip down between his legs and hover just a tad to high over Cloud, has to curl his back to reach his lips.

Surround Cloud, makes sure he’s safe, makes sure he knows Zack’s got him.

Zack lines their hips up, drags his hands slow along Cloud’s thighs before pushing them apart so he can-

“Ah” Cloud’s arching up to him; he’s hard, more than Zack, pushed into his arousal from his dream.

 _Fuck._ Just thinking about Cloud dreaming about him, Zack can barely breathe. It’s intoxicating, knowing Cloud wants him so bad he dreams about it. Makes his hips stutter on their own, rolling long slow movements down against Cloud’s. He’s so hard and sensitive already, Zack can feel him through his pants. 

Fucking, _why_ does he still have his pants on? The moment Zack lets go of Cloud’s thighs to finish unzipping, Cloud’s pressing up to him, tightening his legs at his hips and rolling against Zack. Desperate, he’s desperate for Zack’s touch.

That’s fine, Zack’s so, _so_ good with that. He is too.

“Hold on, gotta-” Words, they are a little hard to focus on through this heated haze of lust.

Cloud’s pressing up for his lips, shoving his tongue in his mouth, and reaching down to help Zack shove his pants off. He mostly just grazes along his hips, reaching blindly, favoring kissing Zack instead.

His small whimper as Zack pulls back is slightly heartbreaking, like Zack took away the only thing helping him breathe.

“Almost there,” Zack says, lifts Cloud’s hips to slip off his own boxer briefs, slides down his legs with ease, and Zack’s opening his legs again. Barely gets their cocks brushing, but it feels so amazing, just having his bare skin against his own.

Cloud’s spreading his legs even farther apart, rolling his hips up to meet Zack’s downward thrusts. His thighs are trembling and he’s just sighing and moaning against Zack’s lips, already falling into bliss. Zack shifts them once again, so he can get a hand in between them and brushes against Cloud’s entrance.

 _Fuck_ , all their lube is out in the stupid bike storage.

“Don’t think I got enough slick to fuck you, Beautiful,” Zack says, presses a finger against him again. Too dry, it’ll be rough.

Zack doesn’t want rough right now. He wants to fucking _love_ him. Tear him down till he’s shaking and can barely cling to him.

“P-please.” Cloud gasps out and fuck that must have been some wet dream, he’s all unfocused and unaware like Zack’s fucked him already.

He could just go out and get it but, Cloud’s dripping already and nice and _ready._ Plus he’d have to put pants back on and his cock’s not fitting into that any time soon.

“Zack,” Cloud’s twisting under him, reaching for the small nightstand, “I had some-” gets lost with his words too.

Zack eases Cloud back, strokes a hand all down his abs, “Stay right here,” presses a kiss to his left shoulder. He thought he saw it twitch, even in Cloud’s blissed-out state.

He’s got better leverage, leans in and over to pull the drawer open, and blindly reaches in for the lube. _Some_ , Zack huffs, Cloud brought in half their stash.

Somehow that’s just as hot as his wet dream. Zack groans, brushes his lips against Cloud's so softly, and pops open the tube.

Zack wants him slick and relaxed, coats his fingers, and leans back on his calves, dragging Cloud’s legs over his thighs and out. He’s nice and spread open for him this way. He gets another desperate whine, Cloud’s wanting to follow the warmth of his body.

“Right _there_ , Beautiful,” Zack says again, eases him back down with a cupped palm to the back of his head. Strokes the base of his skull with his thumb.

Zack twists his other wrist and presses his middle and ring finger in past that tight ring of muscle. Zack can’t stop the groan he hisses out, Cloud’s cock jumps at every little slide of his fingers and he’s so tight, seems more so than normal. Too pent up? From that fucking _dream._

Cloud is gasping quickly, his body twitches to curl up and close to Zack. He stays down in the mattress like Zack told him though. Lets Zack spread his hand all over his chest as he slowly drags his fingers out and pushes back in fast. Works him open with hard presses just shy of that spot inside, harder every time Cloud gasps and lifts his hips, chasing after the pressure of Zack’s fingers in him.

Cloud’s normally moaning and thrashing by now. Zack grasps his cock with his free hand, strokes in time with his fingers pulling out, a constant stream of pleasure for Cloud. Zack’s still not getting the moans he wants from him. The pre-come, and the trembling he is, but he needs the sounds. Needs Cloud to be breaking apart in every way before he slicks up and fucks him. He manages to drag his gaze away from the obscene view of his fingers disappearing into Cloud’s body.

Right up to the obscene view of Cloud’s arched neckline and too hard lip bite.

He’s muffling himself. Zack gets overtaken with a desperate need to make him scream. It’s that fucking lip, Cloud’s bitten through the skin. All bruised and flushed, the smallest drop of blood rising.

Zack shoves his fingers in as deep as he can, presses hard, and curls up against that spot inside him. Presses harder and harder, stroking Cloud’s cock with a wrist twist over the head. Does it until Cloud’s legs are visibly shaking and he can’t keep biting into his lip.

He arches, trying to get away from all the stimulation Zack’s forcing on him.

“Nuh-uh, I wanna hear you.” Zack’s voice is all raw and rough, a dark tone to it.

He doesn’t let up, just follows Cloud’s hip rotations until he gasps, takes in too much air and Zack finally gets that stuttering moan-half scream from him. It’s beautiful, all raspy and choking with pleasure and _too much_. Cloud’s pushing his sensitivity through their connection; it’s a massive hit over Zack.

Crashes around him and makes his rhythm stagger. Only seems to get Cloud closer to the edge.

Zack lets go of his cock, keeps his fingers in, and just ravishes the inside of him with a pulsing curl of his fingers. Leans down and pulls Cloud’s abused lower lip into his mouth. Gentle and soothing against the wounded flesh with his tongue. Hard, fast, and overwhelming with his fingers inside him.

Cloud is clutching at him, pressed all tight lined up along his body. Moaning in his mouth and tenses. Zack feels Cloud’s cock jump and drip against his own stomach. A rippling shake runs through Cloud and he’s coming, an explosion just ripping out of him. Pushes the wave of pleasure at Zack and just clings to him.

Goes limp and rests his head on Zack’s shoulder. Good, so good. He’s all loose limbs and putty now. Zack eases his fingers out, softly drags them up his spent cock, gets a jerk, and the softest whimper from it. Yep, he’s definitely pushed into over sensitivity now. Zack fucking groans, Cloud’s so good to him like this. Zack quickly dumps the rest of the lube over his cock, his hands shaking.

He hooks Cloud’s knees over his elbows, leans close, and presses into Cloud. He’s real slick, the easiest slide Zack’s had yet, and still, he’s _still_ so tight.

Zack can feel himself breaking apart, all the pressure building and too many of his emotions mixing. He means to lean in for a kiss, ends up falling completely on Cloud as he finishes pushing inside him as far as he can go. Cloud’s legs slide down from his arms, immediately he’s curling up around Zack, arms wrapping around his back, knees cradling his sides.

He’s shaking still, but his embrace around Zack is strong, pushes his cheek against Zack’s head.

“Zack,” Soothing him with circles rubbed into his back. Zack feels wetness on his face, seriously, he’s tearing up again?

Damn, he’s supposed to be taking Cloud apart. Pushes up onto his elbows at least, shit, he’s really shaking. Cloud’s breathing heavily below him, still all blown out and coming down from his orgasm. He traces Zack’s scar on his jaw, staring into his eyes with a burning need. He squeezes all around Zack’s cock, pulling moans from him.

Cloud sighs, lifts his hips as much as Zack’s pinning body will let him and rolls back down to the mattress, shallow movements. Making small ripples of pleasure rock up Zack's stomach. Helps pull Zack from his overwhelming emotions. Gets his own hips moving, thrusting into Cloud deeply. He’s so sweet to him, pressing up and brushing his bruised lips against Zack’s cheeks.

A hard thrust from Zack gets him gasping loudly, pressing his face tightly to his own. Zack likes it, likes Cloud so close to him, cuddling against him. Lifts a hand from the bed to Cloud’s neck, holds their cheeks together as he starts pounding in Cloud. His gasps turn to moans and get higher and louder. Sweet in his ear, giving Zack almost painful pins and needles in his chest.

Fuck, he loves him. Feels Cloud hard again against his abs, encourages Zack to really start long rolls inside him. Cloud gets so wet and hard when he fucks him deeply, so he alternates his thrusts, saves his pulling out and hard hip stutters for a good shock of pleasure every other beat.

Seems to go on forever, loses time to their combining mind fog and Zack can’t feel anything anymore except Cloud's tight, hot muscles squeezing his cock. His orgasm builds sporadically, faster and faster and then slows to a constant buzz. Spikes and slows, spikes and slows, until he’s lost all rhythm and he’s just slamming into Cloud, pressing him down into the mattress.

One last spike, Cloud’s raspy shout-the wave of his orgasm pushing over Zack and Zack’s coming, _hard._

He’d feel a little bad about crushing Cloud to the bed, but he’s got his legs cradling around him and his arms holding him against him. They’re both shaking, but Cloud is trembling so much Zack feels it on every inch of his skin.

Zack’s pressing long kisses into Cloud’s shoulder.

“I-I love you.”

Shocks Zack into thinking he said it. He pulls up to look down into Cloud’s face. Nothing but blissed-out contentment and warmth shining from his blue eyes. Does start to get a shy flush on his cheekbones the longer Zack’s staring down at him.

So fucking cute.

Zack’s surprised he can manage the rushed, bruising kiss he presses into Cloud’s lips. He’s so out of it, completely fucked out of his mind but he wants to be inside Cloud again. Wants to just keep him here, safe and trembling and content. How can he want anything else after Cloud tells him he loves him, with his own words and not just shoving emotions in his head.

Instead, they just breathe against each other, Zack kisses him and noses at his forehead as he floats in and out of his buzz. He’s whispering his own ‘I love you’s’ and ‘fuck you’re so perfect’ into Cloud’s skin.

The clearer his mind gets, he just keeps thinking about what Aerith said. Cloud chooses him…all the time. Makes him so happy he could start crying again. Damn, he’s really all over the place.

“Zack,” so tender, follows up with soft touches on him, “are you okay?”

It pulls a watery laugh from him, right, probably shouldn’t keep tearing up during their afterglow.

“Yeah…Yeah, Beautiful. Fuck -I just. I love you,” Finally pulls them to sit up, breaks away from plastering himself against Cloud.

Cloud’s still giving him tender eyes and his sweetest, soft smile. He’s pressing back into his arms anyway, curling around his back and lips against Zack’s neck.

A loud knock against their wall makes them both jump.

“Avalanche meeting in an hour, you guys all done?” Aerith’s muffled voice floats so easily into their room, Tifa’s snickering following.

Right…thin walls.

Zack can’t help the light heat floating in his face. Shit, they had been pretty loud for…an _hour and a half_? The little alarm clock glares at him accusingly. Cloud’s shoulders and neck are all pink from his bashful blushing, but he snorts into Zack’s neck. Fades into a soft laugh Zack hasn’t heard in so long.

Since before all the mako. Near giggling, smooth and low, shoulders tucked in and shaking with it.

It’s all happy and sunny and so _cadet Cloud_ that it breaks Zack’s heart and then mends it all at the same time.

“Think that’s funny huh?” his voice is thick with emotion.

Genuine happiness from Cloud, when all his pain and memory loss is forgotten, it’s rare. Zack soaks it up like he’ll never see it ever again. Zack’s missed this laugh. Not his slightly mean chuckle, or the cold bitterness that follows the end usually. Or even his similar soft laugh he saves for Zack only. The one Zack hears the most.

This one; It’s all country boys and bright eyes. As if the mako never even touched him.

***

The night sky is clear, even as they get farther and farther from Midgar. Brings in a chill as they zoom over the ocean.

Cissnei wasn’t sure what she was expecting, how can she when a tiny little pit of un-sureness still lingers in her stomach. The one thing she did expect, she’s not getting. Hate, thought it would be lots of cold stares and ill trusting huffs.

Instead, she is getting chatted up with warm laughter filling the helicopter cabin. The girl, Jessie, she thinks she heard Biggs call her that, is very friendly. It’s jarring, especially when her last run-in with any Avalanche members had been under espionage.

“So,” Jessie’s leaning around her seat in the front to face into the cabin again, headset down around her neck, “what made you two wanna stick a grenade up ShinRa’s ass?”

Cissnei snorts, Kunsel beside her doesn’t manage to hold in his bark of laughter.

“I wouldn’t go that far,” She says in return. Kunsel’s pretty quiet, he’s been quiet the whole ride so far.

“No?” Jessie seems disappointed in her lack of anger at ShinRa, “So what then, you just woke up and went, yeah, I think I’ll do a side gig, how bout screw over my current employer.”

“I’m helping a friend out,” Cissnei decides it can’t hurt to be a little friendly. The way she’s going might as well be doing that grenade in the ass thing.

“Right, our SOLDIER boys,” Biggs says, “How come you only helping them out now?”

Now? She’s been busting her ass for the last year just to keep Heidegger off of Zack. She’s still pretty annoyed that Hojo’s authority overrides Tseng's. She can feel Kunsel’s stare, even through that helmet, boring into the back of her skull.

“I lost track of them after Gongaga.”

Kunsel’s whole body jerks, “What?” he says.

She feels bad, but…Tseng had been adamant they keep it hush about trying to stop Hojo and Heidegger from getting Zack and Cloud back. Remembers his more than stern face in the shadows of his office, late at night. Now she wishes she had made a bigger fuss. Maybe…a lot of pain could have been sparred.

“I’m sorry, Kunsel, I wasn’t allowed to share.”

She doesn’t need to see his face, his whole body is very expressive and he’s angry.

“How long?”

“A year.” She admits. That anger is just radiating off him now.

“Holy shit, you’re tellin’ me,” Jessie snorts at her, “that Zack was draggin’ around little comatose Cloud for a whole year and you still didn’t catch him?” She cackles after that, rocks her whole body back with it.

Not quite like that, they would have, if she hadn’t delayed them.

“Coma?” Poor Kunsel, Cissnei thought. By Zack’s stories of him, he’s so used to being in the know, surprising everyone else with information.

“Yeah,” Biggs’s face falls into a sadder resting frown, “he was pretty bad when we met them.”

“Can’t believe the little shit survived all that mako poisoning. He’s something special,” Jessie’s getting tapped at by the pilot, re-adjusts her headset and turns away from them.

“Mako…poisoning.” Kunsel seems stuck in a state of disbelief.

Biggs huffs a laugh, “you’d think, with his SOLDIER training, it wouldn’t have affected him. Didn’t mess with Zack, that he let on anyway.”

“Cloud’s not a SOLDIER,” Kunsel says.

Well, maybe now he would be. Cissnei can’t stop the image in her mind, of Strife just wiping the plate with Reno. She’s never seen anyone take Reno down so furiously and fast. Still gotta try to not laugh at that.

“Whadda' mean?” Biggs asks, “sure he is, got the eyes, and all the training.”

“He was in my platoon, I let Zack take him to Nibelheim because he knew the area.” Kunsel’s frowning even harder, “the eyes. If he was poisoned from mako, that’s where the eyes are from. He’s no SOLDIER.”

Jessie glances back at them, shares a look with Biggs.

“Well, whatever he was before, he’s got one up on Zack. You telling me a non-SOLDIER can beat one of you guys?”

Again, she’s not surprised and Kunsel is. Whatever Hojo did to them, it’s not too far-fetched to say the outcome could beat a SOLDIER, even a first-class one.

Hell in the Turks real reports of the Nibelheim incident, Cloud finished off Sephiroth after Zack got slaughtered by him. So, no she’s not surprised. Intrigued, though. She would like to know, at least, how horrible Hojo was to them. For revenge purposes.

It couldn’t be worth the power exchange. She’s starting to think even SOLDIER enhancements aren’t worth it.

Kunsel’s fallen back into quiet for the rest of the ride. She feels like he’s mad at her.

The moon is starting to hang low in the west when they finally reach RocketTown, but she’s not sure the morning twilight hours are a good time to convince Highwind to join a rebel cause that kidnapped him once before. Least of all by a ShinRa agent. She sighs, still not getting how any of this really has to be done by her.

Too late now. She's here.

They touch down west of the town, near the back end, the ever-looming failed ShinRa rocket dark in the night. She’s just got to find Highwind and convince him, in the middle of the night.

“Alright,” Jessie says, “Go get us a ticket to that sweet, sweet airship, Agent.”

So then, they really _do_ want to steal the HIGHWIND. This new direction Avalanche is going in, a lot bolder than she expected from such a small group. They couldn’t even stop the plate drop.

They don’t cut the chopper, it’s loud in her ears as she jumps out and the wind momentarily blinds her with her own hair. She’s not feeling very confident, but at least Kunsel jumps out after her, sticks close to her side. Maybe’s he’s not so mad.

Finding Highwind is a lot easier than she thought, apparently, Jessie and the pilot landed right outside his house. Come’s right out, vaulting over his back fence and strutting across the grass at them. Looks pretty awake, still in day clothes, and yep-shouting, he's shouting at her.

“Who the fucking hell thought it was a god damn good idea to land a chopper in my backyard?” Grumpy, right. Jessie had mentioned that.

He’s pretty scruffy, five o’clock shadow a little patchy and dark circles under his eyes like he hasn’t slept in months. But despite that, he’s all energy and still cussing away at her. She hears Kunsel snort out a laugh. He sweetly steps up and half blocks her from Highwind as he reaches them close enough to attack.

Not that she thinks he will. Seems to be more bark than bite. Still ranting away though.

“-fucking, ShinRa?” He snaps, “Sending a SOLDIER out here for what?”

Kunsel’s shoulders shake a little, still trying not to laugh then.

“Cid Highwind?” Always good to make sure she’s got the right guy first.

“What, what the fuck do you want ShinRa?” He says it like it’s more offensive that it’s ShinRa and not that they showed up at, what, nearly four in the morning?

Right then, the hating ShinRa is more intense then she thought. Maybe she’ll try the Avalanche approach.

“I’m not here with ShinRa-”

“-What’s this damn mutt doing here then?” he grumbles over her. Kunsel bristles silently at him.

“-I’m here for-”

“-and the fuck is that a ShinRa chopper? You wanna tell me again little lady you’re not ShinRa?”

Little lady? She huffs.

“ _Mr. Highwind,_ ” She’ll pull her agent tone, that’s fine. Just needs to cut off his ranting, “Would you be interested in re-attaining something that was stolen from you?”

Go right for it, seems like he needs that approach. It stops all the cussing at least. He’s taken aback for a moment, blinks at the two of them with surprisingly well-placed suspicion.

“And what would that be? I’ve had a lot stolen from me.”

She steps forward, a soft hand on Kunsel’s shoulder. Stand down, it’s fine. He’s well trained, knows what she wants with just a touch. Relaxes his guard a bit and lets her step away from his protection.

“I’m Cissnei,” she holds out her hand, “I’m here on the behalf of Avalanche.”

Cid snorts at her, but does at least give her hand a quick shake, “Avalanche huh? In disguise of ShinRa? This is a real mess of lies you’re sprouting.”

Alright, a little paranoid too. She can work with that, “I’m not lying. I am here as a favor to Avalanche, but I am also a member of the Turks.”

He clicks his tongue, glances at Kunsel behind her and crosses his arms. Seems to settle into his weight, so maybe he’s going to listen now.

“Alright, little missy, let’s say you are here out of the goodness of ShinRa’s heart. What are you planning on returning to me?”

“Your airship.”

Oh- _there we go_ , that really is all it takes. The light sparking in his pale blue eyes, the ever so slightly straightening of his body. He’s already got.

“Not buying it” expect that he is, the irritated inflection isn’t as strong in his voice anymore, “That punk-ass Rufus wouldn’t be sending out one of his damn Turks just to return my beauty that he stole.”

Easy, she doesn’t know why she was so worried; he’s an easy target, easy mission. Just sets it all up for himself. Maybe that’s why then, Avalanche asked her. She’s a spy after all; her job is to read people, get under their skin, figure out the best angle.

She won’t mention Highwind’s any easy hit though. That’ll just be insulting.

“Of course he wouldn't,” she smiles as sweetly as she can, “like I said, I’m not here on ShinRa’s behalf. I’m here as an agent for Avalanche.”

“And why does Avalanche want to help me get my airship back?”

She shrugs, “honestly, I don’t know. Probably wanna borrow it. It's the only one around.”

He snorts, “Great, just stealin' it from one group and giving it to the next.”

Kunsel must be getting bored, he steps up next to her, “at least you’ll have it. Word is they want to recruit you too.”

Is it? She’s not so sure.

“Doesn’t hurt to at least see, does it Mr. Highwind?” probably does, but, she’s not about to let him think that.

He stares at her for a long time. The ski is getting more pink and orange, sunrise is almost upon them. She hears Jessie whistle at her, faintly under the chopper’s noise. Time’s up then.

“We’ve got a time crunch, why don’t you ask them yourself? You get your airship; maybe let them borrow it for a bit, all the while you’ll be taken hits out on ShinRa.”

He’s sold, his arms drop and he loses nearly all of his angry guard in his eyes. Looks like hatred for ShinRa wins out.

“God damnit, fine. That ships gonna be the death of me,” he’s muttering to himself, “let me gather a few things, Agent.”

“Ten minutes, Mr. Highwind.”

“It’s Cid,” he says, “I ain’t’ that fucking old.” Mutters the whole way back to his house.

She laughs, relaxes, and turns to Kunsel, “Recruit him huh?” she teases.

Kunsel shrugs, “sure why not? They recruited you and me.”

Now she really laughs, “I dunno, don’t think I’m Avalanche material.”

“Right, just doing this for Zack then,” Kunsel says.

“Aren’t you?”

He’s real quiet, turns half toward the chopper. Jessie and Biggs are waving them back.

“Maybe not completely.”

So he didn’t really believe Zack was alive then. She sighs, pats his shoulder guard again.

“You know SOLDIER, I’ve been telling myself that for a year now.”

She is doing this for Zack and she’s not really looking to become a permanent member of Avalanche. But she can’t keep going down the path ShinRa is going, the Turks. It’s darkening her soul and she’s not strong enough to burden that darkness.

Maybe Reno and Rude are, Tseng…he’s lost somewhere in the clouds. He probably doesn’t even consider it a wrong path. Just a different one.

She knows the evils of this world all too well and she doesn’t want to become one.

They head back to the chopper, Cid’s heavy steps right on their heels.

Jessie’s all smiles, popping her pretty face and wide smile out the door at them, yanks them all inside with a surprisingly strong grip.

“Alright then gang,” Cid’s already all wide-eyed and, Cissnei laughs to herself, blushing a bit? Jessie is pretty cute; he probably didn’t expect pretty girls to be running the show, “Wutai is only an hour away, so buckle up, it’s a short ride.”

“Wutai,” Cid says, “Son of a bitch.”

She’s surprised by that too. Wutai, Avalanche really does have a base there still. Maybe…they aren’t as small as ShinRa thought they were.

“Gotta drop us back off at Midgar,” Kunsel says. Biggs’s claps a hand on his shoulder.

“No can do, we’re running a little late. A chopper will take you guys back tonight. Looks like you’re coming with us to base for a bit.”

“Yeah,” Jessie shoots a fake gun at them with her finger, “but it’s a secret base, no tattle-telling back to big scary daddy ShinRa.”

Kunsel leans back in his seat, obviously not expecting to keep getting dragged deeper and deeper into Avalanche’s plans. She’s not either, but at least…

“Hey,” she kicks his shin, “at least you’ll get to see Zack.”

He perks up at that. At least, she thinks he does.

Seriously, he’s gotta take that helmet off some time.

***

The command center is pretty small for a base this size. It’s already a tight fit with all seven of them squished in and Barret’s already let them know Jessie and Biggs should be back any minute with a few more people.

Whatever, it’s a nice excuse to hang all over Cloud. Zack has claimed a spot front row to the show, sitting on top of the presentation table in the center of the room. Cloud is between his legs, leaning back against his chest, elbows on Zack’s thighs. He’s digging into his muscle a little, but he doesn’t mind. He gets to lean over Cloud, arms loosely over his shoulders. Cloud even lets him rest his chin on top of his head for long stretches of time. He tries not to squeeze him too tight in return.

Aerith’s over in the corner with Red at her feet and Tifa sitting on the counter against the wall. She is trying to teach her a children’s hand and rhythm game, but Tifa keeps messing up on purpose. Zack can tell, it's always in the same spot and she's got a tell, one of her eyes crinkles up in a tiny little happy twitch right before she messes up.

Probably just so Aerith will laugh and fall into her space before grabbing her hands to start all over. Zack sees that pleased smirk on Tifa’s pretty lips, her eyes light up every time Aerith rolls her eyes.

Wedge is up at the screens and main computer base with Barret, probably discussing whatever this meeting is going to be about. They seem pretty tense and serious, but Zack can’t tell if it’s just the change in environment or whatever they are about to unleash on them.

Cloud sighs, his shoulders rising and falling jostles Zack a bit. He laughs in his ear, hunches down to press their cheeks together and squeezes Cloud in his embrace.

“What you bored already? We just got here.”

There are a lot of eyes in this room, even though they know all of them, so he’s just a tiny bit surprised that Cloud melts into him rather than shrugs him off. Pleased, but still surprised. Cloud doesn’t answer him, just ‘hmphs’ quietly and turns to look at Zack.

He risks a quick, wet kiss, smacks their lips a little too loud. Cloud flushes a bit, even more when Aerith and Tifa wolf whistle at them, but he still doesn’t shove Zack off him. Just averts his gaze and leans back into Zack’s chest.

Ugh, Zack’s never going to get over how fucking cute he is.

Or how he can possibly be so cute and _sexy._

And beautiful.

And-

“Zack.” Cloud laughs softly, even gives Zack a little static zap through their connection.

Right, right. Public. They are in _public._

Aerith and Tifa already teased them the whole walk over. Mock moaning at them until Cloud was so red Zack thought he might pass out from all the blood rushing to his head. He’s going have to talk to those girls about boundaries. They are getting far, _far_ too comfortable with what they tease Cloud about.

Course…he and Cloud did kinda just put themselves out there for it.

Jessie did warn him. Paper-thin, she’d said. Whatever, Cloud’s worth all the ridicule.

“Okay, before Jessie an’ Biggs get their late asses back here.” Barret’s voice addresses them, his normal booming tenor, “got some business to discuss with you two mutts.”

Great, Zack rests a bit more of his weight on Cloud as he tenses up.

“Kay, and?”

“HQ’s not really giving me a choice, but I’m not gonna force ya.”

“Force us to what?” Cloud asks.

Barret sighs, scratches at his head, “HQ wants you two on missions, for Avalanche.”

Zack supposes that’s not too much to ask, it’s too late to say ‘hey, thanks for all the saves and housing us, but no, we’re not interested in the cause’. Which wouldn’t be true anyway. ShinRa’s gotta go down, especially now. Unleashing JENOVA on Gaia, there’s no choice left.

“Depends on what it is.” Zack answers.

Barret didn’t like that answer, “they want to split you two up, send you out to different targets.”

Okay, that is not happening. Zack doesn’t care if that means they’ll be on their own. Cloud tenses more in his arms.

“No,” they both say in unison. Cloud looks at him, all pretty and slack with surprise. Zack smiles at him, kisses those pretty parted lips.

“Sorry, Barret, we know you don’t wanna give them too much push back, but we’re a unit,” Zack says.

Barret’s nodding along, already agreeing with him.

“That’s what I told ‘em. I said I’d at least ask. If you still don’t mind doing missions together…”

Barret doesn’t say it’ll help him personally, but it will. He’s only the temporary leadership of this base, so any good he can do for this cell will reflect well back with HQ.

“Barret,” Cloud speaks up, he’s got a softer tone than he’s ever had with Barret, “If it helps you guys out, we’ll do it.”

Even Aerith and Tifa seem surprised at Cloud’s eagerness to help. Everyone’s staring at them.

“What?” Cloud asks, already putting his guard back up, he’s getting all huffy in Zack’s arms.

“Thanks, mut-uh-Cloud,” Barret says, eyes Tifa before she says anything, silently telling her to stop whatever she's thinking. Probably good he does, it’s her teasing smile that’s on. Cloud will explode if he gets picked on anymore today. Zack squeezes him again to chip away some of his iciness.

The attention doesn’t stay on them long, Jessie and Biggs are finally back, pretty chipper for being awake almost twenty-four hours straight.

“Success, fearless leader,” Jessie says none too gently slamming the door open, “You won’t believe who HQ had us help out.”

Zack frowns, what? He remembers Jessie interrupting him and Cloud, but she just mentioned they were going off base, he didn’t know they had been sent out on a mission. So quickly, this Avalanche group isn’t messing around. Some reason, it makes Zack nervous.

Barret huffs, “Except that I do.” He says. Jessie winks at him, just takes her place up front next to Wedge. She hip bumps him in greeting.

“Go well?” Wedge is asking, perks up when Biggs comes in unharmed.

“Peachy, big guy, don’t worry. You’ll come along next time.”

Zack has to admit, it was weird seeing Wedge alone, usually the three of them are constantly running around each other. Seemed kinda sad.

Biggs is shuffling some things around and waves at someone to get inside the small room. There’s a gruff looking blonde man that follows Biggs in, looking entirely like he doesn’t want to be here. Just the one added person makes the room a bit crowded too, Cloud’s pushing back against Zack, doesn’t relax, even if it’s just Jessie hopping up onto the table next to him.

“Hey pretty eyes,” She says, “wanna share? Zack looks super comfy.”

Cloud's glaring at her, leans in some more as if she's really going to fight him for Zack. He just can't handle it, Cloud's being extra cute and grumpy today.

“Zack?”

Interrupts and pulls all the air in his lungs, that voice. Narrows his world down, even Cloud fades a bit from him. Just the pumping of blood in his ears and his working lungs. Twists to glance at the doorway.

That son of a bitch, he’d never thought he’d see him again. That stupid helmet he hardly takes off is tucked under his arm, resting safely on his hip. He looks the same, the same high cut cheekbones all the office girls used to gush about, a bit more cheek gaunt than the last time he saw him.

 _Kunsel_ , with his jet black wolf’s tail and shaved insides. A growing smile on his face crinkles his deep navy eyes, mako looks a little brighter in them. Or maybe Zack’s just never noticed. That small scar across the tip of his nose is new, Zack doesn't remember that.

“Holy shit, man. Kunsel?”

***

Zack is usually laid back, even when he’s stressed, his body doesn’t tense up Cloud’s does. Everything he does has an ease, even all his more negative emotions. Easily glides in and out of anger, easily relaxes from stress. Never too hard to get him jumping back to a blinding smile.

It’s weird; to feel his whole body tense so tight he might snap. Cloud turns in his arms to make sure he’s okay, it’s that alarming. Makes him kinda mad. It’s that voice that made him tense up so bad. But Cloud only catches the shocked wide eyes and slack jaw for a second before Zack’s whole body just eases into a trembling burst of joy.

A massive wave of- relief? And utter happiness from him alerts Cloud to move out of his way. Slips out of his loose arms and steps aside, bumping into Jessie’s legs.

“Holy shit, man. Kunsel?”

Zack is up and slamming into the slightly shorter man in less than a second. Their hug looks painful, but Zack’s all blinding smiles and bright laughs.

It takes a second for Cloud to notice, his sharp narrow eyes, they have mako in them.

He’s a SOLDIER.

For some reason, it pushes a nasty burst of jealously in Cloud’s chest.

He hates it.

He hates being jealous. That was his entire childhood, jealous of the other kids with complete families. Jealous of Tifa for so easily getting along with everyone. Jealous of everyone for having someone.

Jealousy used to consume him and made him snippy and bratty and rude.

When he arrived in Midgar, he’d told himself ‘not here’. He’d try and snap out of that habit. It had been hard, but he’d managed. Just focused on training up for SOLDIER. He’d found his friends, he’d-

A rush of static fills his head. He hasn’t felt it in so long. It’s painful, _really_ painful.

Memories come with it, flashes of his cadet life he hadn’t realized he’d forgotten.

Images of Kunsel- _of course_. He was his platoon’s SOLDIER leader, tough but fair, understanding more than others Cloud had.

Kunsel had been the reason he went to Nibelheim with Zack and Sephiroth-

Pain.

So much _pain_ , it’s splitting his head. His forgotten memory he didn’t even know he had forgotten, fades and the static just overtakes him.

Distantly, he’s aware of someone calling him. He can’t reach out to them though, he can’t even stand anymore, the pain is so bad.

He smells copper-static cutting in his ears and then…a rage.

That’s not his. It is Sephiroth’s.

He’d wanted this…he’d wanted to reach out and find him. They need to find Sephiroth. Maybe…maybe Cloud shouldn’t fight him, just this once. Let him in.

It takes only that one thought and everything just goes blinding white. Pain ripples throughout his whole body. Sees from the corner of his eyes, a flash of silver-

Nothing.

***

Seems like an entirely different lifetime, when the static in their heads wasn’t theirs-but shared with Sephiroth.

Used to only be Sephiroth.

Zack had thought…he’d thought, cause Hojo’s notes. Maybe they were passed that, that his cells were healing Cloud.

It’s horrifying. He forgot how horrifying it was.

Cloud was sweet enough to step aside for Zack to rush at Kunsel and pull his old friend into a tight hug. Only for a mere second. The lights flicker quickly, and a rolling thunder booms above the command center.

Zack distantly feels the sharp pain of the rage static, feels it through his and Cloud’s mind link.

And then Cloud’s screaming. He’s pulling all his mana in a panic, shocking a thunderstorm into existence outside.

“Cloud!” Zack’s at his side just as his knees buckle. He catches him, going to the ground with him.

His nose is bleeding, like Zack’s does. Badly, just a stream of blood dripping down his lips and his chin. His left arm is twitching so bad Zack has to lace his fingers with Cloud’s just to get him to not injure it. He's breathing hard, it sounds like his lungs are going to pop.

“Fuck.” Zack’s pulling his other glove off with his teeth, shouldn’t even be wearing them, they’re just fucking sitting around the base.

He slips his hand under Cloud’s top, spreading his fingers over as much bare skin on his waist as he can and just holds Cloud against him on the floor. Cradles him close and walls him up with his legs, hides him as much as he can.

Cloud hates looking weak in front of people, especially people he doesn’t know. And he doesn’t know Cissnei. Zack had seen her, middle of his bruising hug with Kunsel, locked eyes with her at the doorway. Cloud started screamed before he could get out her name.

The storm outside is raging, the thunder is loud, and every five minutes, flashes of lightning bright and fast in-between. Cloud’s still shaking and his left arm is still twitching violently.

At least Zack feels the cooling sensation as his healing spreads down through his hand and kick starts his cells in Cloud’s body. Green veins bloom all up his arm, across the sliver of skin Zack’s exposing on Cloud’s torso. He’s not sure what it’s healing, but he hopes it helps. At least…somehow, makes it less frightening for Cloud.

Aerith’s sliding to her knees next to him, her eyes wide and reaching out too. There’s a lot of commotion around them but Zack can’t focus on anything but Cloud.

Thinks he hears Jessie, Wedge, and Biggs corralling everyone to the other side of the room. Tifa’s standing close to them, blocking Cloud even more from view and Zack feels Red’s heated tail flicker past. He slinks near them, hunching around Aerith and settles at Cloud’s feet.

“It’s okay, Zack. He’s going to be okay.” Aerith is shushing at him.

She’s a little blurry when he looks at her.

“Breathe, come on. Breathe, Zack.” She keeps repeating it, hand gentle on his back.

Breathe, okay, yeah. He’s no help to Cloud if he just passes out. Breathe….

Seems to go on forever. Zack is just getting his heartbeat back in control when the storm just pitters out.

Starts raining hard on the roof and Cloud’s body relaxes from tension. His left arm twitches still, but Zack doesn’t have to hold it. Healing veins fade and Cloud sighs.

Aerith and Tifa mimic him, glancing at each other with worried smiles.

“Cloud?” Zack keeps his voice soft, doesn’t want to irritate the splitting headache he’s sure to have.

Cloud hums at him, ducks his head, and slowly sits up. Good, good, he’s okay. Zack breathes out a relief.

Only to tense up all over again. Something’s wrong. Cloud lets out a soft laugh that’s off…it’s too airy.

Zack’s heart starts beating faster, stares hard at Cloud.

He looks up slowly at Zack through his hair, too smooth of a smirk on his face. His eyes, his eyes are sea green and _silted._

_No._

Tilts his head at Zack and twists oddly, Zack swears, in a flicker, he’s completely looking at Sephiroth. In his head, all he hears is _my_ _puppet_ in JENOVA's raspy alien tone.

“Oh my god.” Aerith breathes next to him, her voice is shaky. It is real then; Zack’s not the only one seeing this.

It all happens in less than a few seconds and no one else besides Aerith is indicating they are seeing this. Sephiroth -his whole body jerks violently, rage coming over his face before he's gone. It's just Cloud again, staring blankly at Zack. His body twitches and he falls back towards him, back into his arms. He’s out cold. Blood still dripping from his nose, left hand gently twitching.

Zack holds him close, heavy breathes in his lungs. He stares at Aerith with horror in his eyes, the same look on her face stares back at him. It’s happened once before…right after Cloud woke up. He remembers, watching him get re-acquainted with Tifa and seeing the split second of Sephiroth’s body in place of his. Would Aerith had noticed it then too?

Cloud lets out a quiet groan this time, stirs against Zack, and flutters his lashes open. His normal blue. Groggy too, furrows his brows in confusion before shifting to sit up. Zack’s no doubt it’s Cloud now and he hates the sinking feeling he has now that it’s passed.

Cloud let him in. He knows it. It should be harder now for Sephiroth to take control, his nosebleed and the splitting pain that pushed in their link tells him that. Like Zack’s, getting harder and if Sephiroth couldn’t control Cloud when Zack’s cells weren’t present…then.

Why, why did he let him in? Is he that stupid, it’s too dangerous. Especially now with everything Aerith’s told them. Makes him furious, Sephiroth could have gotten anything to get him a step ahead. He doesn’t mean to let it all slip into their mind link, but it does. Zack realizes it too late. The gasp Cloud lets out is full of hurt, his body shifting away from him and eyes staring hard at the floor.

Zack had pushed his anger too hard. Damnit. He reaches for him, quickly shoving his anger down.

Cloud’s still flinching away from him, turns even more. Fuck, he’s upset, upset with _Zack_. There’s loud TV static in his ears, Cloud’s shutting him out.

“Cloud-”

He stands too quickly, almost stumbles back to the ground. It’s pulling painfully at Zack’s heart; Cloud’s trying to get away from _him._ Won’t look at him, won’t even turn towards him. Zack can’t even tell if it’s cause he’s hurt or mad back. Just static in their connection.

It’s Tifa that is grabbing at Cloud’s arm to keep him up.

“Hey, easy, Cloud.” She says, gentle eyes and stern worry, “you’re okay.”

It’s more alarming still, that Cloud yanks away from her so violently. Causes a flash of hurt and confusion in her eyes. His hands are shaking and his left arm is twitching faster and faster.

He storms out and Zack feels all the air pull from the room.

He feels empty.

***

Zack’s furious with him.

He’s also right, Cloud is so _stupid_. He shouldn’t have let Sephiroth in. Even if it was easy to push him back out.

Just…even with Aerith getting feedback from the parallels, they still know _nothing_. Not how to beat JENOVA, not how to stop ShinRa and Hojo.

Fuck, they don’t even know where to start looking for Sephiroth. Cloud thought…maybe, he could get a glimpse into where he is. Just…help for once instead of everyone running around after him. They are flying blind and running out of time. Every day they just sit around, Sephiroth could be gaining power over them.

Cloud’s failed. He’s failed in every timeline. That’s why he’s here in this one. Aerith said…she’d given him Zack, for being her anchor, for what? For doing well? As a reward for winning? Cloud laughs, pushes his legs faster. He needs to getaway.

He doesn’t deserve Zack.

He’s failed.

A failure.

Just the same as always.

Why did Aerith really choose him? That stupid answer she gave him, cause he’s _him_?

Cloud’s not a hero, Cloud’s not anything. He’s struggled and failed at everything.

He deserves loneliness, not Zack.

He’s soaked from the rain he accidentally pulled in with his mana; it’s washing his blood from his nosebleed into his mouth and down his neck. Tastes too coppery and now he can _only_ think about Zack dying. Just keeps seeing the far off memories in his mind, the pouring rain, Zack’s blood on his face, his still bleeding body.

Is that why Zack dies, why the universe takes him so much? Because Cloud so desperately clings to him.

He should leave. Go off on his own and look for Sephiroth. Would Zack be safer then?

Instead, he goes to the cliffside and sits in the rain. He can feel Zack trying to break the wall he’s put up in their connection. Cloud can’t, he just _can’t_ right now.

Zack is so _mad_ at him. Mad and hurt, Cloud hurt him.

A cold emptiness fills him, making him numb. And embarrassed. Shit, he really is so stupid.

Cloud pulls his knees up, looks out at the grey sky and the dull waters below. Focuses on keeping a room of static around him, keep Zack out. This way…give Zack a break from him. He's sure he wants it. Cloud would, he's tired of being him.

Fuck, he’s weak. He misses him already. Craves the soft fire crackling in his mind.

Even if it would save Zack from dying, Cloud doesn’t think he can give him up. He’s too far in, too attached.

Too weak.

***

It’s the most negative tension she’s ever felt before, thick and heavy in the room.

Barret’s talking softly to the group at the far side, trying to give Zack and Cloud space. Well, just Zack now. Something must have happened in their weird mind thing. Aerith had jumped a bit in shock at how violently Cloud pulled away and rushed out of the command center.

Poor Zack, still shell-shocked and staggered breathing. He looks so defeated and lost, got some of Cloud’s blood on him. Somehow it just makes him seem sadder.

“Fuck.” He says into the thick air. Weakly and so unlike Zack, like he’s given up.

On what she’s not sure.

“Um,” Zack’s eyes snap to her, he had forgotten he wasn’t alone in the room, “what just happened?” she asks, already knowing Zack’s going to feel heavy from it.

“Shit,” he says, cards both his hands into his long strains of hair, “I fucked up.”

“What?” Tifa says, kneeling down to his level, “how, pretty sure Cloud just raged out of here for no reason.”

He shakes his head, “no…I. I got mad.”

Tifa hums, glances at the open door, and stares at the pouring rain, “Doesn’t seem like it.” She says, annoyance in her voice. She's certainly mad at Cloud.

Aerith knows her heart is in the right place, Cloud can…unnecessarily lash out, but, Aerith doesn’t think that’s what’s happening here.

These two.

Dumb, they are two _dumb_ boys. That’s what’s happening.

Red flicks his tail up from the floor and huffs.

“Maybe, trying real words would help.” He says. Even rolls his eyes when Aerith meets his gaze.

She’s glad someone else sees how dumb they are being.

She gets it though, at the same time. Cloud’s eyes…it’s why she’s reluctant to share. Sephiroth, his connection to Cloud is still there, he can still find him.

Just a bit more time, she hears the whispers in the wind, they are telling her. Just a little more and Cloud won’t even have the option to give Sephiroth control. She feels sad; he was probably just trying to find out information.

They need it. She sighs and immediately has to stand up out of the way as a shadow falls too closely over her.

Kunsel is looking down, rising his sharp brows at Zack.

“Hey, lookin’ a little rough over here, Bud.” He says, offers Zack a hand to pull him up.

A drained laugh bursts from Zack and he takes the offered help, let’s Kunsel pull him up and goes right into his space for another tight ‘bro’ hug. Zack sighs into it.

“It’s so good to see you, man.”

Kunsel laughs, pats roughly at Zack’s shoulders before pulling away. Sweet though, how he keeps hold of Zack, hand comforting and tight on the curve between his shoulder and neck. Interesting too, Aerith’s never met Kunsel, this timeline really is a whole bunch of new thrills.

“Are you kidding, it’s good to finally know you’re actually alive.”

Zack winces, “Yeah...I, sorry. I didn’t think there was a way to get word to you.”

Kunsel just pats his shoulder again, “I’ll be around a while, I’ll catch you up with this,” he points with a head nod at Barret and the others, “you go sort out Strife?”

Zack looks like he wants to cry and laugh all at the same time. Aerith feels a weird mix of emotions too, it’s nice to see there’s still someone looking out for him. Even if it is yet another ShinRa employee.

“Don’t think you’re off the hook, I wanna know what the hell you’ve been doing,” Kunsel calls after him as Zack jogs out into the rain.

Aerith snorts, “You’ll catch him up huh?” she teases, as if Kunsel’s been running around with Avalanche for weeks now.

Then again…he’s here, as an informant then? No way he’s a deflected SOLDIER, not with the complete shiny uniform, looks even newly updated.

Kunsel gives her a tiny wink, scrunches up his rather pretty face, “Sorry, Miss, don’t think I caught your name.”

“I’m Aerith,” she knows him; well, of him. The amount Zack’s mentioned him off-hand is close to as much as he talked about Angeal.

Kunsel actually winces, “Damn, you’re Aerith; Zack always said you were a cutie.”

Aw, sweet, he’s making her blush.

“Thought he’d be hanging all over you, not that little Chocobo, Strife.”

Her and Tifa bust out laughing, the air finally thinning out.

“Oh, don’t let Cloud hear you call him that,” Tifa warns through her breathy laugh.

Kunsel just raises a brow at her, “Too late for that. He was in my platoon; pretty sure he just started tuning me out when I did.” He frowns at the door, “Don’t remember him being such a hot head though.”

Aerith shrugs, “things are different.”

More than anyone will probably ever know.

“Must be.”

There's no more time to chit-chat, Jessie’s whistling at them, waves them over. They’ve all stood around in the dramatics enough. No one looks annoyed at least. Barret’s even frowning in concern, stares at the door as they all gather closer.

“Someone gonna tell our mutts about this after, it’s a long mission detail.” He says at large.

He gets a head nod from Aerith, Tifa, and Kunsel. Aerith knows Jessie won’t let them stay in the dark for long either.

“Good,” Barret says, pulling his Avalanche lead face back on, “this one’s kind of banking on them going.”

“They will,” Tifa says, “I think Cloud’s itching for some action.”

Aerith knows Zack is too. Probably why they are being all dumb. Too pent up.

“Alright, first things first,” Barret says, waves at the gruff blonde man to scooch on over, “got some introductions to make, this is a long involved mission, we need to all be pulling our weight-”

Aerith’s surprised that Cid’s showing up so soon. She’d barely known him…before Sephiroth killed her off. Some of the other timelines too, he never came along with them, refused to help. Seems pretty eager now. She’s interested to find out why.

It takes the better part of the hour, for Barret to even get around to what Avalanche wants to send them out to do.

She’s not expecting it to be stealing the HIGHWIND from ShinRa. Hears Tifa gasp next to her.

Seems impossible, even with two SOLDIERS on their side…maybe three, Kunsel looks ready to jump on in with them. Guess that’s why Cid’s here, help them work out all the schematics and functions of the ship so they can get on and steal it.

Still doesn’t really explain why there’s a Turk leaning against the far wall. Aerith recognizes her, she’d been talking with Tseng, rounded the corner when they were rescuing Cloud and Zack. She doesn’t seem imposing, but that’s what the Turks are trained to do, be spies. Aerith’s got no memory of this either. She doesn’t trust her.

Doesn’t even trust Kunsel all the way either, even if Zack’s completely relaxed with him.

She doesn’t like how Barret leaves out why they are stealing the HIGHWIND. What for? Avalanche must have some kind of plan for it, it’s way too big a mission, too many resources getting pulled into it. Barret’s talking about whole squads going in, leaving early and camping out the day before.

He wasn’t kidding when he said this is long and involved. She’s getting a little head spin just listening. At least she’s got Tifa to lean on next to her. She even leans back with a warm huff of laughter and a tiny hip bump.

Aerith hopes their boys are working out all their dumb.

They will need them for this.

***

Cloud won’t let him in. There is so much static in Zack’s mind it feels like Sephiroth is lurking around every corner. He knew he’d do some damage with this connection thing, sooner or later. Feels terrible. He’s still mad, but-

More mad that he could still just, lose Cloud. He could so easily. Mad that he thought they were safe from Sephiroth too. He shouldn’t have put so much relief in Hojo’s notes. He just wants to know why now, why did Cloud give in? Even for that short amount of time.

He checks their dinky little room first; the emptiness mocks him and echoes the hollow in his chest. There’s nowhere else to go, the bike is still sitting pretty outside the barracks. He must be out by the cliffs then. The mountains are visible south of them and the ocean is calming. If Zack’s learned anything new about Cloud; it’s that nature is a comfort for him.

Back out into the rain then. That storm Cloud had created over the command center must have pulled in the rain system from the ocean. It’s all grey skies as far as Zack can see and that rain isn’t letting up soon.

Cuts the humidity in half at least.

Cloud’s there, a dark curled in silhouette against the rain clouds and grey ocean. The only thing against the horizon from the flat land of the cliffs. Cloud doesn’t show any indication he hears Zack. No body movement, no twitching even.

The static is so loud this close to him, mixes with the pouring rain falling against the rock and grass. He looks so small, curled into his knees, and drenched from the rain. Zack should be slow with him, ease him to his presence.

That just all flies out the window when Cloud lets out a choked in sob, barely a sound in the rain.

Zack falls to his knees, dropping his full bodyweight all over Cloud’s back, wrapping his arms around Cloud’s front to lock him in an embrace and rocks forward against him. Zack holds him too tight, pressing his cheek against his ear. He’s afraid Cloud will pull away.

Cloud’s loud gasp is telling, he hadn’t heard Zack at all, too lost in his thoughts. It makes Zack feel even worse. The static is just getting stronger. Cloud’s trying harder than before to keep him out.

“Let me back in, Cloud. I’m sorry,” He says, slow and quiet. Low in Cloud’s ear, “please.”

He wants to turn him and pull him against him. Wants to show him with his body he didn’t mean to snap like that. Zack knows comfort through touch and affection, but he’s so unsure how receptive Cloud is to it right now. He’s probably lucky Cloud’s not shoving him away.

Zack’s chest breaks and releases all the emptiness he has as Cloud leans back against him, turns his head to press against his own. A fast, intense rush comes over him as the static just disintegrates into that campfire crackle.

Zack only feels the relief of reconnecting their link for a second before the overwhelming wave of Cloud’s emotions clashes with his. It’s very confusing and Zack has to just let it happen before he can react.

Crushes his heart when all the emotions settle and the strongest one echoing at him is guilt. So strong it pushes Zack to fall backward, sitting down hard on the wet rocks, bringing Cloud with him into the V of his legs. He supposes he’s pushing the same one at Cloud. The look in his wide eyes, as he twists around to face him, tells him he is. Brings some kind of relief at least.

They’re both mad about the same thing, ultimately. Zack sees it so clearly now, afraid to lose each other.

“I’m sorry.” They both blurt out.

Dumb, they are so dumb.

Zack sees there’s more to talk about, hears it all in his head, doesn’t like that undeserving feeling Cloud’s got filling up his mind. For now, Zack’s just so amazed at how dumb and dramatic they are.

He leans back a bit more, so he can bend a knee up and wall Cloud in, let him rest against his leg. It traps him in closer too, so close he can see the mako crystals in Cloud’s eyes. If he’ll ever look up at him and not stare at his collarbone. This is why Zack hates getting mad, there’s always that weird, too much embarrassment right after it passes.

Feels it way too much from the both of them. Cloud’s breathing and the rain beating on the rocks are the only things he can hear, it helps calm him even more.

Cloud still won’t meet his gaze. They’re drenched from the rain, Zack watches raindrop after raindrop fall off of Cloud’s lashes and run down his skin, over his soft lips.

Zack’s gotta kiss him, but he’s not sure…for the first time in a long time, if Cloud wants him too.

“Can I kiss you?” he asks, tilts his head at Cloud like that will help him see his eyes.

Cloud looks up at him anyway, wide-eyed like Zack had just told him he loved him for the first time.

Cloud swallows loudly, shifts to bring in one of his legs and scoots his whole body a little closer to Zack. He doesn’t reach for him though, keeps his arms loose, shoulders down, and hands grasping at his ankle.

“Zack,” his voice is almost as soft as it was in that horrible memory of him dying. Stings, knowing Cloud’s own hurt is lingering, “I always want you too.” Drops his gaze before he even gets all the words out. Zack's heart clenches.

Zack’s gentle, sliding both his hands along his neck, thumbs resting along his jawline. Wet, they are both so wet from the constant rain. Zack lifts Cloud’s head, trying to see his eyes.

No luck, he’s feeling too shy his lids lowered and firmly hiding most of the blue. That’s okay, Zack’s pressing close anyway, lingers their lips close so he can gaze at Cloud’s fluttering lashes. Too long he waits, Cloud tells him so with a muffled whine escaping from low in his throat. Zack inhales, so beautiful, he’s just so fucking beautiful.

He kisses him softly, grazes gentle and slow before pushing in for more pressure. Drags his lips lazily, encouraging Cloud to part his own. A small moan escapes him when he does and Zack’s pressing in more desperately, dipping his tongue between his lips and pulling his face closer.

Their kissing gets more intense, more needy, and heated. Zack’s fighting him for the aggression, faster lip suction, and pressure. Zack’s gotta tilt his head to beat Cloud at shoving his tongue into his mouth. More wet and sloppy, the rain’s mixing in their saliva.

Cloud’s gripping at his wrists, rocking his body back as Zack leans forward, trying to just crawl inside his mouth until he’s running out of air. They part with a loud slip smack, their heavy breaths mixing in the cooling air.

The rain has nearly cut all the humidity away and a chill is crawling over them.

They both start laughing, softly and low.

“Zack, we’re so dumb.” Cloud echoes his earlier thoughts, presses his face against Zack’s. Just makes Zack laugh harder.

He pulls Cloud all the way against him, kissing him again. It’s a little harder since they knock teeth and keep breaking out in laughs. They do settle down and Cloud lets him take control, moves where Zack puts him, follows his kissing with ease.

Zack’s not sure how long they sit out on the rocks, lips together and hands wandering the whole time.

Long enough for the rain to let up into a little drizzle.

For some of their more dark feelings to fade.

To just get lost in each other.

Long enough for someone to come collect them too.

Zack's not expecting it to be Kunsel.

"Hey you two, pret-ty sure this is not on-duty behavior."

Zack sighs, he's not done kissing Cloud yet. He's got more to apologize for. Cloud knocks his forehead into his shoulder, muffles a snickering laugh.

At least he's not embarrassed.

"We're not SOLDIERS anymore," Zack says, glancing up at Kunsel. He's looming over them, looking way too smug.

"I am," he says.

"Good thing we're not kissing you then." Cloud shocks him, he's still hunched in close to Zack, but he's mock glaring up at Kunsel.

Zack's not sure if Cloud remembers him, doesn't seem too shy.

Kunsel snorts, "A lot of sass there, Chocobo."

Cloud just rolls his eyes and pulls back from Zack. Pats his chest when Zack whines at him.

"Don't call me that."

Kunsel is just grinning wider, "Don't you kids wanna know what you've been volunteered for?"

Zack sighs again. He's right, they were supposed to find out what they are doing here in Wutai. Barret already half mentioned it, Avalanche HQ wants him and Cloud to be their go-getters, their heavy hitters on missions Zack is guessing were too tough to pull off.

"Yeah, man, we'll be there in a bit."

Kunsel shrugs, "okay, don't make me come back out here with some cold water. Twenty minutes, Your pretty ex-girlfriend says to meet in your room."

Cloud doesn't wait for him to walk away too far, presses right back in, and gets his lips sliding against Zack's. He's upset again, tension in his shoulders. Zack pulls away, fixes his eyes on Cloud.

"Hey-"

"-I know. I know." leans forward and rests against Zack again. "I'm sorry, I never should have let him in."

So he really did....

"Why?" Zack's playing with the wet strains on the back of Cloud's head. He's not angry anymore, the hot burst gone from his body.

Cloud still seems pretty upset. But not at him, that undeserving feeling is strong again in their link. Breaks his heart every time he feels it. Cloud's mad at himself then. Feels worse, Zack kinda wishes he was mad at him instead.

"Zack, we're just wasting time out here. We know _nothing_ ," he's set him off, it's the fastest he's ever heard Cloud speak, "I'm tired of failing. Just thought, if I let him in, maybe I could see inside his head, try to find out where he is."

Honestly, it's not a bad idea. Zack's annoyed at himself, he'd do it. He'd still do it, right now, if Sephiroth was shoving Masamune into him and trying to ride his body. Damnit, he's stupid too. 

"Well?" Zack asks. It's already done, there's no point in fighting about it.

Cloud chews at his bottom lip, annoyance in his gaze, "Nothing. I got nothing, just ice, and cold. Really cold."

It's not completely nothing. There are a few places like that on Gaia, but not many.

"You think...Nibelheim? Think he's still there?" Zack's nearly whispering it. He hates bringing up Nibelheim. It's always a shot in the dark if it'll trigger Cloud or make him nostalgic.

Cloud shakes his head, "maybe."

Zack doesn't know what to say. So he just kisses Cloud's head, rainwater getting even more on his face from his hair. He moves away, they do have to get back, find out what their week is going to be.

Cloud's grabbing at his arm, fingers pressing too tight. He's looking at Zack as if he'd just hit him.

"Hey,-"

"-I won't do it again Zack." the shame in his eyes, makes Zack hate himself a bit, "I'm just...tired of _failing_." so quiet, a whisper in the fading rain.

Brings back some of Zack's anger. He grabs both of Cloud's arms, digs his thumbs in small circles into his biceps. Supposed to be soothing, but he's pressing too roughly. Zack hates this feeling. Aerith's words this morning so strong in his mind. He helps Cloud? Just by being here? Then he's going to do anything he can, even if it seems too much or too intense.

He's not letting Cloud do this anymore. This self-loathing spiral. 

"You're not failing."

He hears the 'yes I am' in his head. Drives him to shake Cloud hard, once, get him to look up at him.

"You're not," Zack grabs his chin, pulls his face in close and brushes their lips together, "you're not alone and you're not failing. This is it, Cloud," stares into his eyes and won't let him look away. Stays so close Cloud has to look back, "This is the final timeline. You've already done it."

"Z-Zack."

"We just have to keep going. You're almost there."

He lets out a half sob-half laugh and his body seems to _finally_ , let go of all the hidden tension that keeps sneaking back in.

"Come on," Zack's standing, trying not to wince at his locked knee protesting at the sudden movement. Damn, they really have been out here for a long time, "Don't you wanna know what job these wimps need some badass SOLDIERS to do for them?"

Gets Cloud laughing and he yanks him back up to his feet, more force than necessary so Cloud will crash into his body. He drapes an arm around his shoulders and tucks him at his side.

Cloud chooses him over and over.

Wants him for all eternity.

It's the least Zack can do, keep upbeat, and be his rock. He'll be whatever Cloud needs him to be. Give him whatever he needs.

How can he not?

When he's fucking running around and saving Gaia over and over.

Zack's not giving up on him. Ever.

His beautiful Cloudy-Sky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You GUYS. 
> 
> Are so awesome. So so Awesome. The actual best. There's just no new way to say it. lol
> 
> Don't worry, some action is coming up soon! Just had to get out some more emotions first, you know make them poor bois be a little more mentally healthy before they go hacking at JENOVA spawn. 
> 
> See ya next time! 
> 
> PS: For reals though, you guys killed me in the comments this last round, like fucking damn. I am feeling the love, thank you so very much.


	16. Don't Wanna Cry, But I Break That Way

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bunch of silliness and plan making.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, here you go, just have it. What a long, long week, my god. 
> 
> Have the calm before the storm. 
> 
> Happy Reading!

Cloud is not really up to this. He’s already drained from acting too fast on his emotions and the splitting headache that follows a static episode.

His arm keeps twitching too. He’d just ignored it before; it’s done that since his coma. But, something flipped a switch since the other day, won’t stop involuntarily moving. Weirdly, no pain with it. Just…like a ghost injury. Feels like the stupid mako nausea and the Zack dying –adjacent memory.

On top of everything that’s wrong with him already…

Just is adding to his embarrassment. Seriously, he can’t believe how stupid he is. Shouldn’t have lashed out at Zack so fast. He’s not Cloud's personal happy-sunlight all the time. He's a person...got a right to feel whatever he wants. It had just been shocking that Zack was so mad at him, too much pain and anger being shoved at him.

Just when Cloud thinks he’s getting better at being there for Zack, he messes it all up again.

He had been too aggressive with Tifa as well. Heard her shoulder pop painfully when he yanked away from her. She had been trying to help him. She’s so understanding and gentle with him…too much like Zack. There had been a lot of hurt swimming in her eyes. Reawakens an old ache, one that he swore he wouldn't' do again. When they were kids...

He’s just messing up with everyone.

He’s _really_ not up to this.

Zack’s squeezing him against his side and ruffling his hair before he opens their door. The room seems even smaller with three more people in it. Tifa and Aerith are touching thighs, seeming comfortable on one half of the bed. Kunsel's just standing in the middle of the room, pouting at the girls. Weird to see him without his helmet, Cloud doesn't remember his eyes being so dark for mako infused.

He also doesn’t how to feel about Kunsel. He’s not new to him…not after that memory resurfaced. All Cloud really has of him is cadet days. Cloud doesn’t feel like that person anymore. Maybe he never was, just pretending he could be. He doesn’t bring out Cloud’s awkwardness either, he’s been around him long enough, knows him just enough to be comfortable.

Still that annoying, tiny spark of jealousy in the pit of his stomach.

“Oh good,” Kunsel says, “I really didn’t wanna go and get you guys a second time.”

Aerith smirks, “he lost the rock, paper, scissors round, _again_.” She’s taken well to him already. Not surprising.

Cloud tries to ignore that pit growing. Really, ignore it. Looks away as Zack body slams into Kunsel, pulls him into a headlock.

Zack’s touchy with everyone, knock it off, he tells himself. They were like this before too, always roughhousing around. Bunch of teenagers back then.

Got this stupid jealous sting then too.

He looks for Tifa’s gaze instead of watching Zack and Kunsel start in on a shoving match that's getting more intense with each push.

He’s got nerves overpowering his jealousy now. That shoulder pop had been really loud. He forgets still…SOLDIER strength. She’s soft smiles at him though, presses in closer on Aerith and pats the empty side of the mattress next to her.

Cloud doesn’t miss the tightness in her shoulder, just a tad slower and careful which way she moves her arm. Shit, he’d strained her muscles.

Tifa is patting his thigh the second he sits down, still offering him her soft smile. Not mad then. Cloud doubts she would act on it if she still was. She’s too kind to take her anger out on people. He should probably ask her how she does that. He’s tired of lashing out. Thinks it’ll make him feel better, but he just feels worse immediately after.

“Sorry.” He mumbles, doesn’t want to look her in the eye in case she _is_ still mad at him.

“It’s okay Cloud.” She says, “don’t be sorry, maybe don’t just rush off next time.” She’s quiet, speaking low under Zack and Kunsel ruckus, loud and chaotic.

So...she was just mad that he went off to deal on his own. Why's he got all these people that want to help him when all he does it hurt them? That a time collapse side effect too? Just adding to his guilt. His left fingers twitch.

“-help you, you don’t have to hurt alone.” She’s still talking at him. He zoned out a bit. Shit.

“Hm,” he missed half of what she said.

Kinda wished he missed the last half, too much warmth and embarrassment altogether. Tifa laughs sweetly, must show on his face, his discomfort. Drapes her strained arm around his shoulders and shakes him a bit.

“Everything will work out, yeah? One thing at a time.”

“Yeah,” Aerith says, “and that one thing right now is this crazy mission Barret’s putting up.”

“You guys gonna spill or what?” Zack asks, he’s done abusing Kunsel, twisting around to stare at the three of them on the bed.

Gets his playful, rowdy glint in his eyes when he looks at Cloud. He hasn't seen that look in so long, but he knows it well.

N-o.

 _No Zack_ , he pushes it through their link.

All it does push is that mischievous grin wider on his face. Easily, Zack swings through his emotions too easily. Must be all giddy from hanging out on the negative spectrum too long. Sometimes it’s exhausting to watch all his energy or get all wrapped up in it.

He launches himself at Cloud, making Tifa yelp and physically jump into Aerith’s lap so Zack doesn’t take her down with Cloud.

“Hmmph-” he tackles Cloud back a bit harder than normal. He’s warm giggles in his neck and pressing his weight down on him. Cloud remembers too many people referring to him as a puppy. Certainly feels like one wiggling on top of him.

Cloud hates today, too many up and downs already, tires out his ability to be around people. Even if Zack is being way too adorable.

 _Oh god_ , that’s so mortifying. He already can’t handle thinking about how-any kind of attractive Zack is, now he’s gotta fucking be all cute. He can feel his cheeks getting flushed already. Best just to hide away against Zack, since he’s here on top of him already.

“Do not start making out,” Aerith says, Tifa kicks Zack in the leg gently, catching the side of Cloud's too.

“Hey,” Zack lifts his face from Cloud’s neck, “this is our room. We can do what we want.”

N-o, _seriously no_. Cloud’s already starting to drift down that path, Zack feels way too good and safe on him, he doesn’t need to think about sex with three of their friends around them. He’s still kinda blissed out from all their fight kissing, too easy to fall back into it.

He’s been teased way too much this morning already. Cloud does not want a second round.

He’s not up for this.

“You guys always like this?” Kunsel’s judging them, hands on his hips and amused half-smile on his face, “Can’t believe you’re a higher rank than me, Fair.”

Zack rolls off him and sits up, barely still on the bed. Scoots closer to Cloud’s hip and draws his legs up and over Cloud’s lap.

There are way too many people on this tiny bed and Cloud is at his social and emotional limit. He shoves his forearm over his eyes, just…he’s just gotta block everything out. Zack can tell him later if he misses something, when it’s just the two of them.

Fuck, he _really_ just wants it to be the two of them.

“Okay, seriously, what did Barret tell you guys?” Zack says, Cloud hopes he doesn’t move his legs now.

He’s developing a problem.

Cloud’s not moving his forearm either; it’s a nice and calming pressure against his eyes. He hears Kunsel move, must have shrugged from the soft shift of fabric.

“We’re stealing an airship.” He says, point-blank and nonchalant.

From where? Seems that would be more noticeable...talked about at least.

“From where?” Zack echoes, though his sounds as if he has a hunch.

“Where else, Zack,” Aerith says.

“That guy, Highwind, he’d been building one, and Rufus confiscated it under ShinRa orders.”

“Real nice,” Tifa mutters darkly next to him. Cloud huffs a laugh from his chest.

Kunsel’s footsteps are loud in Cloud’s ears, pacing a strip in the room, “You’re gonna have to ask someone else if you want to know why. Think Cissnei and I being here is keeping everyone’s lips pretty tight.”

Zack ‘hmphs’ and a stillness to Cloud's right says it's true. Tifa and Aerith must be trying hard not to give it away.

“The main thing,” Tifa says, directing the conversation away, “is that we’re leading the mission. Barret wants you two to lead two separate teams in when we go.”

Cloud feels Zack's legs get heavier in his lap. He still can’t bring himself to move his arm, it's helping his headache level out.

“Where’s this airship at?”

There’s another long silence.

“It’s in Junon,” Kunsel says.

Zack doesn’t like it. So much that his dislike floats over to Cloud. He doesn’t say anything, probably is written all over his face.

“Look man,” Kunsel continues, “It’s pretty risky and I don’t even know half of the details. Barret wants Cissnei and me in on the mission, but we have to get back to Midgar first.”

“Back?” Zack asks.

“Yeah, we’re just informants, I still gotta report in. ShinRa’s already going to be watching us when we get back; we’ve been gone too long.”

Cloud doesn’t know who Cissnei is, but knowing Kunsel is still running around doing ShinRa work isn’t that surprising.

“When you leaving?”

“That snarky brunette-Jessie?, Says a chopper is going in for a supply run late tonight, they’ll drop us off.”

Cloud gets a weird emotion from Zack he can’t place. Finally draws his arms from his eyes and makes him sit up. Seems okay, faint wistfulness in his eyes. It makes his heartache for him.

“Barret says HQ is waiting on confirmation till they decide the mission date,” Tifa says into the silence, it was getting thick again with…

Something. Cloud’s head throbbing is interfering with his social cues.

“Still think it’s going to be within the week,” Aerith adds, she’s playing with Tifa’s dark hair, the little tail all gathered by her hair tie.

Cloud’s just noticed they seem…

Like Zack and him.

Huh.

“I gotta go find Cissnei, it’s barely ten, so we still got time to catch up.” Kunsel says, already heading for the door, “You go into the village, come find me. Haven’t had some good spicy food since the war.”

They all listen heavily to his footsteps disappearing down the hall. Tifa’s talking the moment they can’t hear him anymore.

“Barret’s worried the Turk girl isn’t being all that forthcoming. Wants her on the mission to keep an eye on her, you know, in case she alerts the Turks to our plan.”

Zack winces, shrugs, and looks towards the door. Something is making it hard for him to look at any of them.

“Cissnei…I don’t know. She’s a sweetheart but, the Turks are her family.”

“So, you think she’ll double-cross Avalanche?” Aerith asks.

Zack half shakes his head, bites at his lip. Looks even more unsure, “Hard to tell. Turks are…they’re not the same as other departments in ShinRa.”

Cloud frowns, the Turks are notorious for looking out for their own. They are usually so separate from the rest of the company doesn’t even feel like they work for ShinRa at times. He supposes SOLDIER is a little like that too, at least for those in first and second class.

Cloud remembers feeling very removed from them. He’d been so shocked when Zack had insisted on getting dinner and then just kept…hanging around. Showed up after his rounds, dragged him out at the end of the day into the city.

Sometimes Kunsel would tag along, once he’d dragged Angeal with them, but usually, it was just him and Zack. Just thinking about the dumb wide-eyed crush he’d had on Zack back then. Cloud embarrasses himself and butterflies start moving rabidly in his stomach. Guess it worked out.

Zack’s bopping his chin up, “Hey, you with us Spikes?”

Yeah, _really_ embarrassing himself. Cloud nods, can’t meet Zack’s eyes though. Zack’s leaning over and presses their lips together anyway. Cloud’s colder when he pulls away.

But that could be that Aerith and Tifa are no longer sitting next to him. They seem tired, must be Cloud's fault. Those static episodes really do a number on everyone. He'd gotten okay at hiding them, this one just...came out of nowhere.

“There’s more,” Tifa’s saying, “but Barret still has a few details to work out. You guys should probably meet Cid before the mission, learn the layout of the ship.”

Aerith’s opening the door, smiles back at them, “Yeah, Jessie’s already talking about another mini-meeting. You guys got the gist now though. Everything else is going to just be re-vomited at us later.”

Cloud wrinkles his nose; she’d have to say it that way? Ghost feeling of nausea follows. Strangely chases away more of his headache.

“Wanna go into the village tomorrow?” Tifa asks, she’s all tense shoulders thinking about it, “We still need to replace our materia.”

Zack sighs, but nods. He doesn’t seem very excited to go back into Wutai Village either. They’ll need to be stocked up before they go off commandeering airships from ShinRa.

The door clicks loudly in Cloud’s ears and he can’t stop staring at the alarm clock on the nightstand.

Just after ten…feels like the whole day has already gone by when it’s barely started. A whole dramatic fight and Sephiroth induced mistakes. Cloud wishes it was hours ago when he was still sleeping and-

Cloud flushes; Zack was stirring him from his sleep only five hours ago. Shit, he’d almost had himself under control. Coming roaring back to life just thinking about Zack getting all lusted over him having a wet dream.

Zack shifts his legs to get up and then freezes. Yeah, there’s no way he can’t feel his erection. Cloud glances down at the floor. He’s gotta find a way for this to not be so overwhelming either.

He can _hear_ Zack’s grin, “Thinking about me, Beautiful?” Of course, Cloud's always thinking about him. Becoming too much of a problem.

Zack doesn’t even wait for him to answer, already moving in on his space, straddles Cloud, and lifts his head with the palm of his hands. His eyes are blowing out into dark lust, but his thumbs gently stroke along his jawline.

Contrasting, he’s always contrasting Cloud with tenderness and something…darker.

Cloud feels himself throb hard at that thought. Wants that darkness to come out a bit more sometimes.

“Fuck, I felt that, what _are_ you thinkin’ about huh?” Zack leans down to kiss him, has to tilt Cloud’s head back all the way, make him stretch his neck up to reach.

Cloud doesn’t think he can tell Zack…he’d wanted to know, what his dream was. Cloud’s more than mortified by it, he can hardly ask for any type of touch from Zack. The ones he dreams about...

Zack’s dragging his lips along his neck, pressing right up at the spot under Cloud’s jaw. Gets Cloud extra hard when he-

“Ah-h,” bites him there. _Fuck_ , Zack’s really digging his teeth in. All sharp and then soothingly flattens his tongue against the marks. Throbs really good.

Cloud can’t stop the contented sigh as Zack sucks in more soothing kisses over the bite.

“Think I drew a little blood there, sorry, Cloudy-Sky.”

He wants him too again. Cloud sinks his teeth into his bottom lip to keep from moaning.

“Zack…a-again.” So difficult, to close to actually asking what he wants. Some of that darkness.

Zack pulls back, looks down at him with calculating eyes. More fiery than icy today.

“You want me to bite you that hard again?”

Cloud’s gasp is louder than he meant, it’s the answer Zack was looking for. He gets dark, dark blue rims around his eyes, pupils blowing out even more. His body gets real still.

“Beautiful, you asking me for something else?” Cloud loves when his voice gets that low, a little growly and grit filled.

Dark.

Zack steps off him and drops to his knees, pulls Cloud forward a bit more so he’s just right on the edge of the mattress. Even kneeling, Cloud doesn’t have to look too far down to meet Zack’s eyes, he’s so tall.

“Cloud,” Zack’s hands rub in large circles on his thighs. It’s not helping his erection. “I’m gonna need an actual answer here. You asking me to be rough with you?”

He’s not sure. He certainly was in his dream…and he’s throbbing just thinking about it.

“I, I dunno.” He’s getting shy, feels a sting of shame in his chest, telling him he shouldn’t want things.

Doesn’t deserve them.

Zack’s still all lust-filled eyes and touching him all over. He slides his hands down under Cloud’s thighs and yanks them up and over his shoulders. Cloud falls back a little from the shifted angle. Puts Zack real close to his covered aching cock. He’s already pushing up Cloud’s shirt and unbuttoning his SOLDIER issued pants. Laughs as Cloud squirms at the cold fabric rubbing against his skin. He unzips his fly, so he can pull Cloud out.

The damp fabric brushing against his hot cock makes him jump. Zack’s shimming his pants down, slips a leg off his shoulder one at a time so he can undress him. Puts them right back after he’s done.

“Cold, Zack,” His damp shirt is freezing against his bare legs.

Zack’s moving him around again. Sits back on his feet and yanks his shirt off _way_ to obscenely, muscles rippling and his arms flexing tightly. Cloud can’t stop thinking about rough touches and Zack’s back muscles and…

Fuck. He does, he wants Zack to be _real_ rough with him.

Zack’s body smoothly flows back down in-between his legs, lifting his thighs again and puts them back on his broad shoulders. Kisses the inside of his knee, his thigh as he leans in closer. His hands holding tightly at Cloud, so his legs don’t slip off his shoulders, rubbing following behind his tender lips.

“Cloud, an actual answer.” His breath tickles his skin.

“I-” Hesitating…

Zack sighs, loses some of the darkness in his eyes, and leans forward. Disappointment? Cloud’s afraid to reach out, but their link is doing it anyway. Just a lot of understanding and patience. How’s Zack so kindhearted? Doesn’t ever seem to stray from it.

“I’m gonna make you feel real good first, kay. Talk about it after you’re more relaxed.”

Press a soft kiss to the underside of his cock. It’s…oddly sweet and dirty at the same time. Cloud’s legs tremble on Zack’s shoulders. He’s the opposite of rough, swipes his tongue a long slow stroke up the length of him before pulling him all into his mouth. Cloud gasps and tries not to thrust his hips up. His cock’s not as thick as Zack’s, but just as long, he doesn’t want to choke him.

Zack pulls off him with a hard suction, “It’s okay, move those hips all you want, Beautiful.”

Zack even shifts down a bit move, hikes Cloud’s legs up, so the back of his thighs are resting high on his shoulders. He’s got good leverage, to thrust up if he wants. Cloud grits his teeth and keeps in a moan; Zack’s taking him back in his wet mouth. It’s so hot. Cloud has to fight to keep his eyes open, everything’s getting blurry.

Feels too good. Curls his torso down and digs his hands into Zack’s hair. Still pretty silky and slippery from the rainwater.

Cloud stays as still as he can, let’s Zack pull off and envelop him at the pace he wants. It’s slow; Zack likes to go slow all the time, in the beginning. Cloud knows it’s so he gets over-sensitive, likes to make Cloud feel everything too much, before going harder on him.

Cloud likes it, feels raw and helps him forget…about everything. Makes him only aware of Zack.

He bites his lip as Zack bows his head, keeps his moans from getting louder. Watches Zack’s wide, chiseled back move down with his head, all the muscles shifting under his tanned skin. Makes his scars sway over bone and tissue structure. So smooth and strong.

Gets him thinking of rougher things again. Push and pull of wanting rough and tenderness.

His hips stutter and he thrusts up hard into Zack’s tightening mouth. Arches and gasps, grabs tightly into his black hair.

“Za-Zack.” Cloud can barely breathe, trapping in all his sound. He’s not going to last.

Zack’s fucking _moaning_ around him, the vibrations of his voice like rough scraps, soothed from Zack’s swirling tongue. It’s too much. Cloud can’t stop his hips, shoves up hard and Zack just holds his mouth down all along his cock. Arms curled tight along Cloud’s thighs so he can’t move anymore, keeps him in deep, up against the back of his throat. Cloud shuts his eyes as he comes, so tight the darkness fades into blinding light and all the pressure just rips out of him.

His legs slip off Zack’s shoulders the second Zack lets go. Slides his toned body up along Cloud and gets his hands under his ass. Lifts him close, settles Cloud in his lap back on the mattress.

Cloud can feel Zack’s cock pressing hard in his pants, hot along Cloud’s bare skin.

“Feel good?” Zack’s voice is so rough, throat irritated.

He reaches up and traces Zack’s bottom lip with shaking fingers; Why’s he always shaking?

He gets it, why Zack likes to stretch his lips with his cock. Looks good, Zack’s all soft lipped and flushed, makes his skin looked sun-kissed and alluring. Cloud can’t look away. Zack’s chuckling, hands skimming along his sides and yanks him forward so their stomachs are flush together.

Gasps a bit, Cloud’s still got his own damp shirt on, oh-nope, Zack’s yanking it off him before slotting their bodies tight together.

“Wanna kiss me?” Zack asks.

Cloud does, his lips look so soft and fucked out. Cloud presses forward, wondering if Zack will feel overstimulated like Cloud does. His body is more sensitive than Zack’s or maybe Zack just knows how to push all his buttons right. He’s sighing into Cloud’s mouth, still rubbing at his skin and keeps their kissing slow, open-mouthed and way more raunchy than Cloud’s used too. More tongue than normal and Zack’s usually all about shoving his tongue in.

Feels like he’s letting Cloud take lead, take control but he’s not, he changes their pace changes their pressure. How’s he doing that, making it seem like Cloud is? Cloud’s nearly shaking apart and can barely hang on Zack’s shoulders. He’s gotta slide his arms over and rest on him. 

Zack lets out a long, happy moan against him; pulls back with a wet lip smack.

“Doing good? Feel relaxed?” he asks Cloud.

“Y-yeah.”

“You gonna answer me this time?”

Cloud can’t really remember what he’s supposed to be answering. Hard to think when Zack’s looking so wrecked. He wants his tongue back in his mouth. Goes back in for it when he’s suddenly getting shoved face down into the mattress. Zack plasters himself against his back, yanks Cloud’s hips up, and presses the hard line of his cock just at the curve of his ass.

Cloud feels his own cock throb and start to fill with blood again.

“I said,” Zack’s lips are at his ear. So dark, his voice is thick with lust and intensity, “ _answer_ me.”

“ _Zack.”_

He’s smoothing a hand up his chest, taps up his neck and rests there, takes Cloud’s ear between his teeth and he’s tightening his hand. Pressing his fingers around the tendons in his neck, pushing his palm just a tad too much.

“This what you want, Beautiful, huh? You want rough?” Zack’s grinding his still clothed hips against him, hard, the wet fabric drags and scraps against his skin.

Fuck, he’s so hard again, dripping onto the mattress. He does, he does want Zack to be rough, he just can't get out how much, doesn't even really know. Moans into the mattress and Zack rolls his hips again, starts squeezing around his neck-

Cloud gasps, too hard, he’s squeezing _too_ hard, giving him flashes of…Sephiroth. His body involuntary jerks, a small whimper making it past his chokes.

Zack backs off immediately, presses thick apologetic kisses all down his back. Hand slipping down to rub at his chest, over his heart, soothing it back down to a normal heartbeat.

“Sorry, _shit,_ okay, don’t like that.”

Cloud collapses down into the sheets, breathing hard. He didn’t…dislike it. The pressure, he likes the pressure, not the squeezing. Choking is too much. Feels warm all over, Zack's...good at helping him figure things out. Even when he's not sure. Maybe...he can tell Zack, can have this one want.

“…too hard,” Cloud mumbles, “again?”

Zack pulls him back up, lips a heavyweight on his left shoulder, sliding his hand up again, wraps snug around his neck. He presses against his skin, more holding then tightening. Keeps pressing till there’s a slight too much pressure and Cloud’s shaking and his cock is twitching again.

“Pressure good? No choking, don’t worry, I got you,” Zack’s nuzzling at his shoulder, “and the biting, harder biting.”

Cloud can’t take this. Zack’s drawing it out too long, he’s already all strung out from rushing through every intense emotion earlier. He’s too raw now. Zack’s pressing his thumbs more along his tendon. Everything’s weird this time, all the talking and different touches are making it hard for Cloud to breathe right, his head is spinning. Feels like Zack is wearing him down, but he can’t tell how.

“Tell me, how rough?”

He’s hard again, almost painfully. Zack’s looming over him and Cloud can’t stop staring at his hand on the mattress. His veins and muscles tense and flexing. Zack’s getting impatient, yanks Cloud up by his neck, bowing his back and curving his neck, head leaned back. He’s so curled backward, he can almost see Zack behind him.

He’s hastily unzipping himself and pulling out his cock. Presses right up against Cloud’s twitching entrance. He feels pre-come drip across his skin.

“Zack...”

“Yeah, Beautiful?”

Zack’s shoving his legs open even more, rolling his whole body down on top of him, breath hot against his ear, and gives his neck just a bit more pressure. His cock is rubbing against him, catches on the rim of his tight muscles.

“Cloud, _how_?”

Feels pressure behind his eyes and his lungs are tight, he’s gotta have Zack in him.

“H-hard, please, fucking, get in me.” Oh god, he can’t believe he’s begging. He doesn’t know how to tell Zack, it’s too embarrassing. He needs him to ravish him, wants him to break him. 

The pressure on his neck leaves, gets his face shoved back into the mattress, and his hips pulled at. Zack’s exposing him too much, spread wide and high. Pushing his lips apart with his other hand and dips fingers in, pressing down on his tongue and gathering saliva.

“Yeah? Want me to fuck you till you're raw?”

Cloud can’t believe he aches so much, just from the words. It’s all so much and Zack’s not even in him yet.

His fingers leave his mouth, shove right inside him with no warning, three of his rough, calloused fingers. Covered in his saliva, but it’s not enough slick. Cloud’s cock jumps again, just whatever pre-come is dripping from Zack, it’s going to be rough. He wants it. Wants that burn.

Zack doesn’t open him up, just gets his fingers in to barely coat the inside of him.

Lines up his cock and lingers just for a second, presses the most tender kiss on his back, and just _shoves_ inside. Just the contrast Cloud wants.

It’s almost as much pressure as their first time, except there is no lube to ease it and Zack’s not going slow. Thrusts in harder than he ever has, really does trap the air in his lungs. Cloud can’t breathe, stuck in his throat and in his chest, clings to the sheets, and can’t do anything but let Zack slide all the way in him.

“Fuck, s’good, you’re so tight.” It burns; Zack’s so thick and just barely slick from his pre-come.

But it burns so _good_ , filling him so much he can hardly move.

He doesn’t wait for Cloud to adjust, just starts pounding in him with so much force the pushed together beds separate a little. Gets faster and faster, so much force in him, over and over and over, never lets up on that spot inside him.

He’s much too sensitive, everything is starting to feel gritty and his mind is getting dark. He’s so hard the building pressure in him hurts.

He needs more. Somehow, he needs it. _More._

“H-harder…” he can barely get the words out, “Zack, _harder_.”

Zack says…something, Cloud doesn’t know. Just hears the guttural groan right after, all dark and dangerous. Pushes his painful pressure even more.

He’s gotta come soon, or he’ll break.

In the deep of his mind, he feels Zack pulling mana, the air in the room circulates around them, around Zack. Cloud watches the veins thicken and muscles fill with mana in Zack’s forearm next to his head. He almost comes from that alone. He’s pounding even rougher and harder. So hard, it _hurts_ , hurts too much, Cloud needs it and he needs to get away all at the same time.

One last time, Zack shoves violently into him, slams perfectly against that spot inside, and feels like a storm breaks over Cloud.

His orgasm stings and aches and is so perfect and good and _hurts_. He comes hard and fast, whole body tensing.

His first aftershock of pleasure comes with Zack sinking his teeth into the junction of his shoulder. Sharp stinging, the soothing flat warmth of his tongue.

The next one feels like he’s still getting fucked.

And then feels like Zack’s so gently stroking him.

All the aftershocks get a little less intense each time, slowly pattering out to a gentle buzzing of pleasure and warmth. Pulling him somewhere else, Zack's deep tenor a little scratchy and warm.

He must have blacked out, or fallen too deep into his haze.

Cloud refocuses to Zack holding him up against him, pressed up against the warm tiles of their tiny shower. Water is cascading down over Zack...he looks, _gorgeous._ Layers of dark hair all smooth and falling in ripples over his neck and shoulders, a little on his cheek. He's got light freckles over his nose, from getting a golden tan in the Wutai sun. Cloud can see the white-ish mako crystallizing in his eyes. Flushed a little still. 

“There you are. Damn, thought I broke you.” He’s scratching a soapy hand in his hair.

Takes another moment for Cloud to realize his legs are wrapped around Zack’s trim waist and his arm under his thighs are actually holding him up, not his own two legs.

“You did,” Cloud mumbles, he’s barely coming out of his fog, laughs a bit at Zack’s widened eyes.

“Too much?” Sweet, he’s worried, “Did I hurt you?”

Cloud reaches out, tucks a few strands of Zack’s wet hair behind his ear, “s’good, felt good Zack.”

“Yeah, you sure I wasn’t too rough?”

Cloud kinda wants him to be even more, the burn and sting with his tenderness...he wants it all the time. Zack’s brushing his knuckles against his cheekbone, eyes icy and tender.

Ugh, now he kinda wants him to be his normal slow and sweet.

Maybe it’s just that Cloud wants Zack. He ducks his head under the shower spray, lips moving softly against Zack’s. It’s a bit hard to breathe under the water and the shampoo from his hair is dripping into his face, but…

Zack’s worth anything.

Even a little bit of shampoo in his mouth.

Okay, lots of shampoo.

***

Cloud’s out in the deepest sleep Zack’s ever seen him. Breathing even and low before he gets him back on their smashed together twin beds.

Zack hadn’t been sure, thought pulling all that mana into his strength would really hurt him. He'd held back...barely. Zack's always had a more dark need that he just doesn't really look at. That fucking dress Cloud had been in brought it out. Rough, he's not sure how much Cloud wants. Wants it, but only in certain ways.

Zack's so good with that, he's good with whatever. Cloud's already given him things he lusts for. Feels amazing, that he's asking Zack for things _he_ wants. Painfully shy about it, Zack had to drag it out of him. It's okay, they'll have time, after all this, when Zack can really bring him out of his shell.

Fuck, Cloud had just come apart so hard and beautifully.

Standing at the edge of the bed and staring at all the bite marks he put into his skin is enticing. Hard to draw his gaze away, but-

Zack wants to know what Avalanche is up too and he’s gotta talk to Cissnei before he can’t.

Kunsel had said late tonight, so they are still here for a while. Now might be his only chance to really get a grasp on what’s happening inside ShinRa, other than Hojo’s lab. If Rufus is in charge now….

Zack knows he’ll ignore department leads, as long as they stay out of his way. Hojo basically has free reign.

He’s just gotta stand here and stare at Cloud a little longer.

***

Cissnei’s not sure this is going to go well. Usually, to pull off these types of things, trust is needed.

There’s no trust in this Avalanche. The longer she walks around, sees it everywhere.

 _Hears_ it everywhere. There are lots of whispers about the SOLDIERS that their new commander has brought with him. Nearly half of them are filled with nasty after comments or disgust.

It’s jarring, even though she knows it all too well. The hate that drips from so many.

Makes her stick close to the few that she does know here. Well, recognize at least, she really only knows Zack and Kunsel. She hasn’t seen either of them since Strife had a seizure fit and just up and left the command center.

He’s a weird one alright. She wonders how much of it is from Hojo’s experiments.

This Barret Wallace wants her and Kunsel to join the HIGHWIND mission. No surprise, Kunsel’s all in. Jumped at it immediately, spewing about if it helps Zack, he’s there.

She doesn’t think he completely realizes what Barret is asking them.

_Choose._

Avalanche or ShinRa.

There’s no going back after this. After they steal the HIGHWIND. Rufus has security everywhere and even if they do manage to pull this off, she’ll be caught on one of those cameras. Junon is ShinRa’s main port. Almost a second HQ.

She wants to know why too. It’ll take her some digging, maybe she won’t even find the answers till she’s back at ShinRa, behind her computer. Why does Avalanche want an airship?

Barret seems to think his superiors are going to hand it over to him and his team…from the gist and the small snippets of conversations she's gotten, seems Zack’s taken up dead SOLDIER hunting.

What’s everyone want with Sephiroth so badly? There’s really something she’s missing. Feels like she’s just skirting around it over and over.

Maybe she can get Zack to cave and tell her. None of his friends seem too trusting with her. Friendly and pleasant, welcoming even.

But trusting. No, it’s all in their body stances. That dark-haired girl, Tifa? She’s the best at hiding it. Shifts just the slightest when Cissnei’s near. She doesn’t stare at her either, not like this supposed Cetra girl.

Aerith Gainsborough, she’s not what she thought. Got more spunk to her and she openly stares after her as she moves around the base. Too much so too be bad at surveillance. No, Aerith _wants_ Cissnei to know she doesn’t trust her.

The three Avalanche kids seem to be somewhere in between. Jessie’s very friendly, but she’s not as loud and silly as she is with the others. Holding back from her. Biggs is harder to read, just seems to be overly worried about everything, so his un-trusting nature doesn’t seem too forced at her.

Wedge, she’s barely even talked too, the glance he gave her during that meeting just says it all though.

Who the hell is she?

Why trust a Turk?

By all accounts, they are all right. Turks aren’t to be trusted. Stings more than she thought.

She’s really only got Zack left; sure that Strife will take one look at her and just start in as he did to Reno. Better try to hang around when he’s weaponless. That kid really doesn’t seem to like Turks.

She’s just got to find-oh, over there by the barracks. She laughs into her hand, just the two she’s looking for. Zack’s sitting pretty on that bike Strife stole. Kicking at Kunsel’s shins, they both keep busting out in loud barks of laughter. Might as well go and silence them. She seems to be having that effect on everyone.

“SOLDIERS.” She says, Kunsel had already spotted her, his navy eyes glow more in the shadow of the building. They watched her walk up.

She always forgets about the mako eyes. Zack’s are just so bright already, she hardly notices.

“Cissnei,” Kunsel smiles at her, “looking a little lost, no one wanna talk to a ShinRa Turk?”

Ouch, right for the gut. Brutal. She shrugs, “maybe, not much I can do about it.”

Zack. He’s watching her carefully, trying to hide it behind his blinding smile. He does a better job than she thought he could, Zack’s pretty bad at faking his emotions, not good at correcting his body language either. At least to a spy's training.

She has to say, it’s more of a sting than the others. She thought maybe…

But why, she’s done the bare minimum in his eyes to help. Always goes back to Tseng and the Turks in the end too. 

“You boys causing trouble?”

Kunsel grins widely, he’s a lot more like Zack than she thought he’d be, “just tellin’ this puppy he’s gotta hand that sweet ass bike back over.”

He gets pulled into a headlock for that one.

“Are you insane? Cloud will run me through with my own buster.”

Yeah, Strife, where is he? So far, she’s noticed they are pretty joined at the hip. Zack's usually hanging all over him, the neutral, slightly off-put expression on the blonde's face is pretty entertaining, contrasting with Zack's happy grin and bright eyes.

She watches the two SOLDIERS shove at each other for a bit more and feels sorta bad. She’s interrupting their guy time. They both seem overly giddy and bright-eyed around each other, hyping each other’s energy. That’s a rare type of friendship.

“Really? He’s so tiny, your buster is almost bigger than him.”

Cissnei snorts.

“What?” Kunsel finally manages to escape Zack’s arms.

“You didn’t see him beat the shit outta Reno.”

She does not expect the surprised snort from him, it’s rather jarring coming from a face that pretty.

“You shittin’ me, Cloud is the one that did that to Reno?”

Zack’s laughing, body tight with it and leaning all over Kunsel.0

So hands-y, the both of them.

“Not that surprising, Kunsel. After all that mako, not just those pretty eyes he got.” She says.

And just ruins the whole mood. Zack’s whole demeanor drops, slinks back into himself too much.

“So…really true then, you guys are Hojo’s runaways?”

Zack huffs, “We’re not Hojo’s anything.”

Kunsel didn’t expect the anger there, she sees his eyes glint with a tinge of regret.

“Sorry, man. I-” He still reaches for Zack though, gentle hand on his tense shoulder, “You want me to cut the shit outta that fucker when I get back?”

Zack’s laugh is dark. Cissnei’s never heard that tone from him.

“I still can’t figure it out, what he was really trying to do with us.”

“Something…” she speaks up, “something with Sephiroth?” Has to be and JENOVA, all in his notes. There's not enough to put everything together, but, seems horrifying all the same.

Zack sighs loudly, like he’s talked about Sephiroth one too many times.

“You guys…shit. You’ve no idea.”

Kunsel steps in, grasps both of his shoulders and jostles him a bit, “So, tell me. I’m not gonna rat you out. At this rate, I don’t really care what happens to ShinRa.”

“You better watch it, you don’t know what really means.”

Cryptic and not what she expected from Zack. There’s a darkness in him she’s never noticed. It wasn’t there back in Gongaga…what happened between then? A lot, seems like a lot. Just skirting around, yet again. For a spy organization, the Turks are getting farther and farther away from the truth.

“Zack…”

He rubs at his eyes, looks up at the two of them with a seriousness that she’s not used to either. This Zack…he’s so different. Turning her for a spin, she doesn’t know this Zack.

“Since we’re going that way.” He says, re –leans on the bike seat, “don’t go on this mission.”

That is _alarming_. Cissnei didn’t expect that either. He just keeps throwing her off. Maybe she should have chanced that fight with Strife. At least she'd just get physical injuries instead of emotional ones.

“What,” Kunsel’s didn’t expect that either, “are you kidding? You're gonna need all the help you can get.”

“I’m serious, you know why Barret asked you, right? You two aren’t stupid.”

“Yeah, I know. I don’t care. I choose you, man.”

She barely keeps in her gasp. Kunsel really is a step ahead of her. She’ll have to be more careful now. She’s wish-washing in between and she’s too torn to decide. Morals or her family.

Maybe she will chance talking to Reno and Rude, bring some of her family with her.

“Kunsel…” Zack says, anger defeating.

“I’m serious. You think I didn’t see Cloud bust a gallon of blood outta his nose and seize harder than fucking freshly mako-ed out SOLDIERS? Fuck ShinRa. They don’t care about their own, why should I care about them.”

He’s going to make Zack cry. He gets all misty-eyed and just rushes Kunsel into a tight hug.

Cissnei’s feeling more and more alone out here.

She’s also feeling more compelled. Doesn’t want that darkness to overtake her. It will, if she stays with ShinRa. One more chance, after they go back tonight, she’s got one chance to bring Reno and Rude with her. Maybe even Elena, she’s a good kid, new. Maybe she can mold her mind too.

“Cissnei?”

Zack…sweet Zack. He doesn’t trust her, but he wants too. So badly.

Must be that longing that solidifies it.

She’ll earn that trust back.

***

Cissnei is all over the place. It’s more than concerning. Tifa and Aerith’s worries echo loudly in his mind, can they trust her? She seeks Zack out but then is too guarded. Not hard for him to see through; he’s got his own little expressionless master to learn from. She’s better at concealing it from her eyes, not like Cloud. His eyes are just a constant give away.

Even Kunsel seems worried, frown on his lips as they watch her wander off from them.

“Think she’ll go then?” he asks him. Kunsel’s frown deepens.

“I’m gonna let you in on something here. All my contacts back at ShinRa, they’ve all assigned me to get the Turks on Avalanche’s side.”

That is shocking, Zack wonders if Barret knows. They certainly choose the right one to start with. Cissnei’s the easiest to turn, cares too much. All the others, Zack’s not sure about their locality to ShinRa, but to each other.

If Tseng doesn’t turn, it’s likely the others won’t either.

“How’s that going for ya?” Zack huffs.

“Not great.”

Pulls a laugh from him. Oh…Kunsel.

“Hope they don’t expect you to get Rufus too.”

Kunsel’s laugh is...defeated, “seems to me, they think Rufus will follow if all his Turks just abandoned him.”

Then…Avalanche isn’t very good at reading people. Rufus Shinra gets angry, not complacent.

“This is, a bigger mess then I thought,” Zack admits. Seems there are monster dens all over the place.

ShinRa’s is just more horrific and bloodthirsty. For now, Zack will take Avalanches.

Kunsel slaps a hand on his back, leans in with a knowing look in his eyes,

“Hey, it’ll work out. We got this, besides, got pretty little Cloud to keep you occupied, huh?”

Zack flushes, immediately thinking about Cloud sleeping back in their room, nice and bruised and bitten into. He is _so_ pretty.

Kunsel busts out laughing, “think he’d care if I steal you away for an early dinner. Seriously want some spicy food.”

He’s still…indifferent to going back into the Village, but, it's Kunsel.

“Mind if I wake him? I think I’ve made him mad enough for one day.”

To be honest, Cloud wouldn’t mind. He’s good, about giving Zack space, even when he’s jealous. He felt those waves, strongly. He didn’t think he’d be jealous of Kunsel, why? SOLDIER status? It’s not the touching, Cloud doesn’t care that he’s hands-y with everyone.

Besides, Zack’s the one that doesn’t want to go anywhere without him. Kunsel’s knowing look just intensifies and he play punches him in the shoulder.

“Go on, hurry it up though. Don’t get all _distracted_ , I’m starving.”

Zack doesn’t have to wake him, he’s sitting on the edge of the mattress when Zack walks in, half-dressed and all dazed. Still has his fucked out daze foggy up his eyes. Grows a bundle of smugness in Zack’s chest. It’s the most satisfying and ego-boosting thing for him, getting Cloud so lost in pleasure he can’t bounce back from it for hours.

Shit, right Kunsel said to hurry it up.

“Hey,” Cloud blinks at him, coming back from his mind a bit more, “you hungry? Kunsel wants to grab some food in town.”

No flicker of jealousy at the mention of Kunsel, not even in their link.

“Kay.”

Cloud stands without saying anything else. He’s moving well, looks like that enhanced healing works pretty well on sex stressed muscles too. Zack frowns as Cloud gets closer. All his bite marks are closed up and faded into bruises. Man, Zack kinda liked seeing his teeth indents…gets a dark possessive pit in his stomach. He reaches out and presses against the one under Cloud’s jaw, his shirt’s already pulled over and hiding the other ones. It’s barely even black and blue. Cloud’s smirking up at him, rises on his toes, pulls Zack down with his collar to meet his lips. Kisses him good, just until it starts turning too deep-

“You’ll just have to give me new ones,” he says, pulling back and making Zack half hard in an instant. Looking at him like that through his lashes, all cocky smirk and close pressed body.

Zack groans, no fair, that is so not fair. Cloud’s such a little shit, teases him way too much. Cloud laughs softly under his breath, lingers close just long enough for Zack to start getting in his own head.

“Come on, Kunsel’s waiting right?” Cloud’s over by the door, leaving him colder in the room.

Seriously, what a _brat_.

Kinda makes sense now…Cloud wanting him to be rough. He’s just fucking asking for it being such a tease.

Now he’s gotta walk all the way into Wutai Village half hard.

Kunsel’s already snickering at him when they come back out of the barracks, weapons on, and only a tad less uncomfortable.

The girls too, all three of them, are hovering near Kunsel. Jessie’s hanging off of Aerith and Tifa’s shoulders, flirting up a storm with him. Kunsel's just giving it right back to her. She's thrilled, eyes brighter, and more honey-colored than ever. They all catch on to Cloud's dreamy gaze and the faint red on Zack's cheekbones. Great, now Zack can be mocked by four of his friends, awesome.

“Getting some food? You didn’t even invite us.” Aerith teases.

“Could’ve said something earlier,” At least Tifa’s trying to hide her giggles, not very well, but, trying, “we can just go get our materia today.”

“Materia?” Kunsel asks, he’s already shooing everyone along with his hands, “shouldn’t you guys have that already?”

“Ugh, don’t even start okay,” Tifa says, still pretty annoyed she didn’t get her wind materia back, “let’s just say we have terrible luck.”

“Oh great,” Kunsel says, “never mind then, I’ll just go by myself.”

Zack drapes an arm around him, “it’s too late, you’ve already been sucked into our clutches.”

It’s kind of true, Zack knows Aerith is easy to get along with, and Tifa is sweet enough to put up with anyone. Not that Kunsel is a hardship to now. Jessie seems to like him enough, flirts pretty hard, like she does with Cloud. Even Cloud’s not uncomfortable levels of awkward around him. 

He lets Kunsel shove him off him and right into Cloud’s side. Bumps their bodies together trying to chip away at some of the jealous in him. Doesn’t take too much, Cloud’s even relaxed enough to not care about the others seeing his real smile. Sends it Zack's way the whole time, even over the falling bridges and the extra windy open-air flatlands. Still gets Zack’s heart fluttering. He doesn’t think it’ll ever change.

They make good time, getting to Wutai earlier than he thought; the food district will still be bustling with late lunch-goers. He and Kunsel have to keep re-directing everyone along, Jessie’s never been to the Village so she’s all wide-eyed and excited. Keeps dragging Tifa or Aerith, or Cloud off to a shop or vendor. Down a few of the quieter streets to look at old shrines and statutes.

Its good Kunsel is here, Zack can’t keep track of this many people at once alone, especially not Jessie and Aerith. They like to wander and just zoom off without warning. Kunsel’s had to go after one of them four times in the last thirty minutes.

“Nope-” Zack manages to grab Jessie’s arm just in time, “food first, come on.”

“Ma-n, fine. But we are coming back to that weapon shop, there’s some sweet looking gun-materia in there.”

No doubt, Tifa and Aerith both perk up at materia. They have to go back now. It's what they actually came here for. Which of course…Zack can’t believe he still forgot to swap out his fire one for healing, again. At least Cloud’s is shinny all pretty on his wrist. No one better try to bad-touch them this time.

Or steal their shit.

“Mmph.” His annoyed grunt draws Cloud closer, even gets his arm around his waist. Melts away his irritation and Zack drapes an arm over Cloud’s shoulders to keep him there. Partly cause he’s so sweet to him, other cause now he can’t stop thinking about those guys Corneo had sicked on him. Thinks about the hands of that asshole all over Cloud's thighs. He starts tensing. Cloud squeezes his waist, must feel his protective rage kicking in for no reason. Lessens it a little, he's still going to keep Cloud close.

Zack takes them down a familiar street to a tiny little food place that he knows Kunsel will love. It was Angeal’s favorite spot, raved about their spicy pork for hours. After all day missions in the region, they’d retire their swords and come out into the late night for some food. Angeal dragged him here more times than not. They have to wait for a solid twenty minutes, it's packed and the day is still early, so more people are out.

Maybe it was a bad decision; he’s getting all misty just looking at the menu. Good thing this place is one of those hole in the walls, tables are extra small. Cloud’s all cramped up against his side and Zack keeps knocking knees with Aerith across from him. Keeps Angeal’s ghost a lesser hurt.

It’s not as hot either, so it’s more bearable that Kunsel’s knocking elbows on his other side, and Tifa and Jessie keep smooshing Aerith between them to get her laughing. Even if that means Zack gets kicked in the shin from all three of their feet.

She still seems a little sad from their early morning hour talk. When Cloud’s too busy struggling with his noodles (he’s so bad with chopsticks, oh god, Zack can’t handle how cute the pouting is) she sends him her ‘anchor pain’ guilty eyes. At least until Jessie’s knocking her against Tifa. It's a constant round of that as they eat, order some extra food. Kunsel's being weirdly shy about how hungry he is. Must be Jessie's winning on the flirting battle then. Zack's gotta order some dumplings for himself, the large set, just so Kunsel will steal some from him. That hasn't changed. He always wants to steal his food.

The wait staff seems eager to get them out the door, there’s a long line outside, so they finish quickly after getting a few too many glares. They dinked around enough.

Course, that means Zack and Kunsel are back to babysitting. He swears, these three girls, they become something else entirely together. Cloud’s no help either. Just lets them drag him around while getting more flustered and reserved by the minute.

“Man,” Kunsel’s chuckling at Cloud. Jessie’s got her arm around him in a semi-head lock and drags him into the weapon shop she wanted to be at before lunch, “pretty girls are his weakness, huh?”

Zack snorts, that’s an understatement. It’s almost as if Cloud forgets he can easily just…move. Shrug them off him and easily avoid their pushes and pulls.

It’s cute to watch at least. His awkwardness fades pretty fast once they stop manhandling him around. Just turns attentive then. He helps Aerith get a few materia down from a shelf that’s too high for her (he’s gotta get on his toes to do it, she should have just asked Zack or Kunsel) and gives Jessie his opinion on the pistols she’s looking at. Helps Tifa decide is she should re-level up a shiny new wind materia or just by a stronger one.

Zack forgets that too, Cloud’s knowledge of weapons is extensive. Zack never lasted too long in the ranks to really learn guns and ammo. Went straight into SOLDIER training.

The shop is pretty large and they have everything ranging from guns to tiny throwing knives. Even a small apothecary for leveling up and refilling on ethers and potions. It's not a bad idea, Zack makes sure to get some of both. Their stash back in Cloud's bike is still pretty full, but. Zack seems to just run out of ethers so quickly. They spend a long time in there, Zack didn’t realize they had ulterior motives from the materia. Jessie’s stocking up on a few new guns and materia specialized for them, notably for Wedge and Biggs. But he sees her eyeing a cannon attachment that could be outfitted for Barret.

She does end up getting it, after Tifa makes a comment about how sad-looking Barret's has been looking. Everyone’s bought and stocked up, Tifa huffing loudly, still annoyed she had to re-buy her hard-worked materia, and are almost ready to go at the end of a _long_ hour when they almost walk out of the shop without Cloud.

He’s over in the corner, looking at the small selection of blades they have. Zack slips up behind him, “everyone’s done, what’s caught your eye, Spikes?”

On the wall, shining all pretty, is a slightly smaller buster-type sword that looks just like Cloud’s. In fact…it’s got the same groves in the center, all stitched together and fitting perfectly, each part of the blade another, smaller weapon. On the last small dagger-like one, there’s etched in faded Wutai writing. Zack can’t read it too well, he’s never taken to other languages, gets too hard for him to focus when he’s learning them. Just the word fusion stands out, something or another about six parts to a whole.

Cloud’s reaching for it and slipping his own weapon off his back. Same metal, same delicate details, and designs on the handle and the slots for the puzzle piece that fits them all together. The shop keepers heading over to them, all cute smiles and fluttery eyes.

She doesn’t need to sell Cloud on it, the blades belong with his sword, slip right in and snap together with a loud clank that seems to echo a sigh after being separated for so long. Four more blades, a complete set. She even sells it to him at a discount, saying it’s been hanging around her shop for nearly a century. Zack can’t possibly imagine how Cloud’s going to fight with six blades. Guess he’s going to find out, since they have nothing else to do on base but wait for their ship stealing orders.

“Damn, Spikes, you really know how to pick a blade.” He’s tucking him against his side again, can’t possibly _not_ be touching him with that pleased soft smile on his face.

“Hm.” The most excited hum Zack’s heard from him, “test it out soon?”

Looks up at him like Zack will say no to sparring with him. Zack digs his fingers in his bare shoulder.

“And let all of Avalanche see you wipe the floor with me?” Ugh, his heart, Cloud’s giving him such hopeful wide eyes. Didn’t know he’d be so eager to just wreck him. Makes him laugh, “Sure thing, early tomorrow?”

Cloud doesn’t talk much on the way back. Doesn’t stop vibrating with excitement either. Even manages to chat with Kunsel about weapons and any new upgrades ShinRa's done. In case they need to get on top of an edge they might have on Avalanche. Zack feels no jealousy zipping in their link.

The sun is just starting to lower, the light turning a nice pale golden color. They spent a long time in the Village. At least they've managed to cut their walking time in half. The moment they get back to the base, Jessie is pushing them at the command center, telling them to go hang out and wait in there. Runs off with her newly bought stuff with a fast wave at some members down by the supply warehouses.

“Me too?” Kunsel asks.

Zack shrugs, he guesses. He’s got a feeling Cissnei won’t be there though. He taps Kunsel’s arm just to reassure him anyway. The others might not trust him, but Zack does. He can see Cloud does too. He doesn’t just beam his soft smiles and tender eyes at Zack in front of anyone. And he's been doing that for the last hour....actually, he's been doing it all day.

Biggs, Wedge, and that Highwind guy are there when they step in. All huddled around the schematics table, blueprints laid out all over. They are chatting pretty loud, seems to be evolving into a disagreement.

“-no, don’t think that will work. See here, there’s a junction that-oh, great, more’s coming that I have to explain too?” Cid-Zack’s pretty sure he overheard the introduction right before Cloud’s static attack. He looks as if he’s going to just cap them all, for interrupting his...whatever they are talking about. He's annoyance is distracting enough, Zack just barely sees Red slouching in the corner. He looks how Zack feels, slightly put off but also amused. Red gives them a fiery tail wave in greetings, eyes lingering on Cloud.

“Finally, you guys are back. Barret’s just got final word.” Wedge says, shoving over a bit so they can all gather around the table.

It’s a tight fit, and Zack’s guessing Jessie went to go snag Barret. He loops his arm around Cloud and shuffles him in front, traps him between his arms and leans against him. His cowlicks tickle his cheek, but he can still see the blueprint and most of the table. Besides, he'll use any excuse to lean against Cloud.

“Son of a bitch,” Cid says, standing up from his own lean, “you tellin’ me you got three fucking SOLDIERS hittin’ and runn’ with you?” Must have just noticed the mako eyes.

Kunsel laughs, his arm brushes up against Zack’s, “Just these two lovebirds actually. I’m due back in enemy grounds tonight.”

“Right, any other damn surprises waiting?”

That beat of silence is long and Zack can feel everyone trying _not_ to look at Aerith.

Good thing Jessie comes burst back in with Barret on her heels. Surprisingly, Cissnei too. She stays back against the wall, instead of joining everyone at the table. Cause she feels odd, or she’s trying to figure everyone out. Zack still can’t tell, can’t get a grip on her loyalties. It's getting too late to pull her aside. He's hoping Kunsel will manage his 'hush up' orders. It would be nice, to at least have the Turks out of the way.

Jessie is shoving her way right next to Biggs and Tifa’s gotta do a similar move, stand behind Aerith. Let Barret fit around the table too.

There’s a lot of silence and just breathing.

“Okay.” Cloud says, “How about that plan for stealing an airship.”

Barret’s laugh is booming, “Getting right to it, probably the best way.” He claps Cid on the shoulder, “wanna start from the beginning there?”

Cid’s sigh is raspy and overly put-out, even rolls his eyes a bit, but he’s rearranging some of the schematics as he does so. There are four spread out, all showing a different layer of the ship, the top layer, bottom section, and the two middle decks.

“Okay, if ShinRa’s not fucking around with my designs, then the ship should be damn near the same as these,” he leans over and points to the four entrances on the lower deck, “got exits here and here, not for people, more for loading and unloading, they’ll be tightly guarded or sealed tight. There’s the obvious top entrance ways to the engine room-“

“-Wait, that’s what we want, the engine room?” Tifa asks.

Cid eyes her like she’s just killed his life-long pet, “yes.” He says, as if everyone in the room was dumber than a Chocobo, “the engine room and the flight deck, these two need to be occupied by us, the rest of the ship doesn’t need attention for a short flight.”

Short…right. Midgar is nearly a eight-hour flight from Wutai, Junon is just south, maybe an hour from the city. Going to be longer than just a short flight if they are bringing it back to Wutai.

“We bringing it back here?” Zack asks.

“That’s the plan,” Jessie says, she reaches over and drags one of the schematics closer, “what’s this here, looks like a built inside entrance, on the second deck.”

Cid nods, “emergency ports, there’s a few, but they are small to get in and out of. Probably only you three,” points to Tifa, Jessie, and Aerith, “are small enough to get in from the outside and open the larger escape doors.”

So, that leaves three plans for them. The easiest, sneak in through the supply entrances on the bottom deck. The most sketchy, take the top deck by storm, gets the most bloodshed probably. Or the third, sneak in through the emergency ports on the second deck. The hardest, but probably the least amount of killing. It’ll also be the longest, requires some precision.

“So, how do we fly it out?” Aerith doesn’t seem too convinced this will work.

Zack’s not either.

Cid snorts, “Me, that’s how. Damned if I let one of you touch my baby, she’s already been through enough, ending up in ShinRa’s hands.”

Cloud holds in a snort of laughter, so quiet, Zack only feels his body jerk a bit from it.

“Right,” Tifa says, “And what about that engine room?”

They get a huge sigh from Cid, “well, that will have to be one of you, less we can convince the crew to betray ShinRa.”

“Think that’s possible?” Cloud asks, “that’s a lot of people we have to stop and convince.”

So not possible then. Cid frowns, shakes his head, “I dunno. Maybe if some of my old mechanics are on board,” he doesn’t sound certain, or even a little bit sure.

“So for now,” Jessie says, winks at the whole room, “it’s gotta be me, Biggs, and Wedge. We’ve got the most…uh, ‘mechanical’ experience.”

If bomb-building counts as experience. This is just getting rougher and rougher.

No one is saying it, but it’s all Zack can focus on.

“So, that’s the easy part,” Zack says, Cloud stiffens in the bracket of his arms, the “hard part is clearing everyone off that ship.”

“Everyone loyal to ShinRa,” Kunsel speaks up, “there’s bound to people who aren’t.”

Zack’s not so sure. An airship…the only one around. It’s massive, even from the schematics. That’s a lot of people they are going to have to fight through.

A lot of killing.

“HQ wouldn’t be requesting this mission if they think we’d fail.” Barret says, he’s staring pretty hard at him and Cloud though.

Right, because they are here, that's why HQ thinks they can do it. To be fair…that amount of people to get through, Zack’s done it. Alone. It’s almost too easy for SOLDIERS and Avalanche is right, they got two-now three if Kunsel really is planning on ditching ShinRa, right in their hands for the taking.

“What’s this about two teams?” Cloud asks. The anxiety growing in him is bleeding out into his own mind. Hiding it well on his face. Worried about being separated for too long? Zack is. He wants to be watching Cloud’s back.

“Look, I know I said I wouldn’t force ya to do separate missions.” Barret’s shifting his weight. Guess he feels bad about this.

Zack doesn’t like it, but it’s technically not separating them. Still on the same mission, still in the same place.

“Barret,” Cloud again, just rolling on out with all the confidence, “it’s fine. It’s where you need help.”

Barret looks like he could hug him, “alright then. Ya’ll want the two teams, Biggs.”

Biggs nods, draws their attention to the massive screens on the far wall. A little animation of dots in badly draw airship schematics floats on the screen, “First team is going to be taking the flight deck; it’s the most guarded and the easiest to get to. It’ll also cause enough of a distraction, for the second team to sneak on down into the engine room.”

Team 1 is the diversion then and protection for Cid, he’ll need to be on the flight deck to take control over the ship.

Team 2 is protection for Jessie, Biggs, and Wedge. It’s the more dangerous one, easy to get trapped and lost in a ship with barely finished schematics. More likely to come up against fewer guards, but more skilled.

Zack already knows…

“Cloud, you’ll be leading team 2, keeping ShinRa off my guys’ backs.”

Jessie, Wedge, and Biggs are grinning massive cheesy grins at him, “Oh _yeah_ , reactor team go!” Jessie says with a breezy laugh and a double arm raise.

“You’ll also have Agent Cissnei going with you, in case any ShinRa tech security needs some bypassing.”

That’s why Barret wants her with them then. Maybe to keep an eye on her too but…it’ll be easier then Biggs hacking through anything. Take much less time. She’s quiet against the wall, but Zack sees her slight head nod from the corner of his eye.

“Zack, you’ve got team 1. It’s also all the rest of you, keep Cid safe, get the flight deck cleared, and ready to take off.”

Makes sense. Especially with Kunsel coming along. Two strength heavy SOLDIERS with the amount of stamina they have, it’ll be a synch to keep Cid protected, and clear the top deck.

“Team 1 is also responsible for keeping the middle decks from getting backlogged, try to keep the path clear for team 2 to get to the engine room as fast as possible.”

Zack’s already planning it out. Tifa’s a good close-in fighter, but she’s got her wind materia that can really send a massive hit at long distances. Barret will need to be up top, waste of bullets below deck in hallway fights.

Kunsel and Tifa…he’ll send those two then, if they need it. Maybe Red as well.

Aerith he’ll need on the flight deck, her healing will come in handy. If Barret really is planning on bringing in Avalanche troops. It’s also the safest, she can move easily, lots of room to get out of the way.

“Already got everything planned there, SOLDIER?” Jessie’s teasing him. Snaps him outta his head a bit.

“Ha, sorry. Hard not too.”

Barret waves his hand, “S’all yours to lead, HQ wants you two in charge for a reason.”

They know ShinRa.

“When’s all this happening?” Tifa asks, something’s ticked her, her weight is heavier on her left side, stiffer. Something she doesn’t like. He’ll have to find out if it’s what he’s thinking.

All this is…reliant on Barret’s team, the new guys, _the stand-ins._ Why? What’s Avalanche planning with the airship. Risking a lot, but they are risking a team they had considered separate from them up till a few days ago.

Something that big…that fast…

Zack can only think of one thing he’d use it for. Massive weapon and troop movement. Tifa meets his eyes, as if she could hear his thoughts loud and clear in the air. That’s what she was thinking too then, the hard stare he gets from her. He’s sure.

Trouble, it’s coming fast for them and Zack’s not sure how to stop it yet. Good thing he’s got Cloud shifting back to lean on him a bit, grounds him some more, eases his worry. They’ll have to deal with it when it happens, no point in wearying himself down until then.

“We head out tomorrow night, late. Land a few clicks east of Junon, camp out for a day, and then head in at sunset.”

Best time to start sneaking around. Guards will be on rotation and the lower light will be easier to move in. Less staffing too.

“Anything else I missed?” Barret looks to his trio. They all give him a quick shake, wrapping up the meeting then.

Cid’s huffing, pulls away from the table and folds his arms, “that’s all I got. Have to see what they changed when we get there.”

“Okay, everyone but you two ShinRa, get on outta here.” He points to Cissnei and Kunsel.

“Hey,” Kunsel touches his arm, “hang after? Won’t be too long. That chopper’s still not leaving for a few hours.”

“You bet, come by the barracks.”

It’s hotter outside, the humidity growing as the evening starts to settle in. Zack’s breaking out in sweats already, feels his shirt sticking to his lower back. The girls and Red are following after Jessie, Biggs, and Wedge, looks like over to the supply warehouses. Probably means there's more mission stuff to go over. He and Cloud should go too, see what Jessie’s showing them, but-

He’s really drained all of a sudden. Just wants to hang all over Cloud and chill out with Kunsel when Barret’s done integrating him and Cissnei.

“Zack, you okay?” Cloud’s real close to him, despite the heat. His skin is getting all dewy from it.

“I’m good, you up for chilling with Kunsel for a bit?”

There’s that jealous spike. No then. Cloud even takes a step back. Zack doesn’t like it. Brings out the weird raw feeling in their link, from their fight this morning, lingers with a bad taste in his mouth.

“I’m beat, you hang still.” Seems so sad all of a sudden. Zack’s got that dark pull that’s laughing at him. He’s missing something.

Cloud’s all in his own head again and keeping a lot of it out of their connection. He’s got a right too. It’s not fair for Zack to expect him to share every waking thought. Doesn’t stop the need to help or make him happy any less intense.

“Cloud, hey-”

Cloud steps up into his space, face set, and reaches up. A gentle pressure against his jaw, right over his scar. Just a brush of his lips. Cloud touches his scars a lot, usually gets a sad glint in his eyes after.

“Still sparring tomorrow?” he lingers against him.

“You bet, Beautiful.” Zack can’t bring himself to talk at a normal volume, seems he might scare Cloud away if he does. It’s not the first time he wishes he knew what brings random bursts of sorrow over Cloud. Zack’s not sure if Cloud knows either.

Something bleeding in through all the timelines. Feels like it anyway.

Zack mulls it over as he watches Cloud head by himself back to the barracks. He comes up with nothing. Just has to wait in the humidity and the setting sun for Kunsel to finish up.

He'll help distract him, get his mood back to neutral at least.

It's been an odd day. Feels like weeks have gone by in a short span of twelve hours.

"Hey, where's Cloud?" Kunsel's sticking his head out the door already.

It really is good to see him here, Zack can't believe it. This fucker's been looking for him the whole five years he's been missing, even joined a rebel cause just to get more reach.

He's got to be lucked out. These types of friends he's found.

With Cloud.

"Kinda tired, just you and me buddy."

Kunsel smiles wide at him, slinks an arm over his shoulders despite the heat and drags him off, already starting in on teasing about Cloud. _Again._

Totally lucked out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy shitttttt, you guys! Kill me every time, I haven't looked back here all week and you guys are all so freakin' sweet in the comments omg.
> 
> You've all killed me and I love it. So SWEET! Also sorry this one is a bit short, trying to keep the rhythm of the chapters right. lol
> 
> See ya next time! 
> 
> PS:Same as last time, omg posting so late. I'll edit again in the morning. :D


	17. There is a Swelling Storm And I'm Caught up In the Middle of it All

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So much Headspace

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omg, it's been five days already, ;_;  
> Maybe I'll make an actual schedule for this fic, it keeps getting longer and longer in my outline you guys. Hope everyone is good with that! lol
> 
> *WARNINGS*  
> TRIGGERS: GORE, ALIEN GORE
> 
> Happy Reading!

It’s not so humid and hot, a cooler breeze drifting around him. He’s been getting used to the heavy air, takes him a bit to notice. He doesn’t miss it. Breathes easier without it. Not as suffocating to be wrapped up in Zack’s embrace either. Must be pretty tried, he’s not squeezing Cloud as tightly as normal.

He shifts, breathes him in for a small quiet second before opening his eyes, pulling back from Zack’s shoulder.

Weird, they’re outside. Must be why it’s colder, all the tree coverage offering protection from the Wutai sun. He frowns a little, can’t remember there being a forest near the base. Did Zack take him somewhere and he’s just skipping time again?

Weird too, how he doesn’t panic at that. Probably should. Cloud’s just so used to it by now.

Zack’s still sleeping, not usually a heavy sleeper. Mentioned it a few times on one of their dinner hangouts, after he came back from Wutai the first few missions. Cloud’s heart thumps, didn’t like learning that the war was effecting him so quickly.

Wait, that’s weird too. There’s no war anymore?

Cloud winces, holds in a hiss from his gritted teeth. Sharp pain through his head. Lingers only for a moment, he relaxes with the fade of it against Zack.

Looks a little different, so young. Cloud reaches out, tries to tuck some of his bangs back behind his ear. Only stays for a moment before falling back into his face. Seems odd too, his hair’s shorter than usual. Or maybe Cloud just doesn’t pay attention.

He brushes his fingers tips over the smooth skin stretching over his jaw. Still feels like something is missing there…

Scar, where’s his scar?

The pain comes with the realization he’s not in a Wutai forest, he’s in Nibelheim, in his head then.

“Cloud.”

Pain turns burning and ripping, a horrible slow slide from his back and through his chest.

A sword…Masamune...

The blade cuts all the way through him, slices right through Zack and suddenly the forest and the mountains are gone.

Just the desert and present-day Zack…dead, bleeding out and dying along with the earth under them. A crippling fear takes him and his vision blurs.

Masamune is still pinning them both, Cloud feels him… _Sephiroth_ , a weight near his back, a shadow over him and dream Zack.

He thinks it and Zack’s fading away under his own bloody hands.

Just him pinned.

Him and Sephiroth.

The static comes roaring with flames of hot, burning fire. Smoke fills the air and Cloud’s choking on it.

“Cloud, don’t you want to see?”

No, he doesn’t, not anymore. Get out…he’s got to push him out. Cold hands caress the back of his neck, Sephiroth presses in on his back, body too close and his silver hair falling all around Cloud. He hates it the most when he touches him.

“You let me in last time,” his voice is too loud, a whisper in his ear but he may as well be shouting.

Keeps slowly pressing the sword through, Cloud feels a bubble of blood come up his throat, helping the smoke to choke him. So much more pain…why the pain?

“I need your help, Cloud.”

To weaken him? Lower his mind guard, must be. If Cloud focuses just enough on the static, can feel it, pushes right back to Sephiroth. Feels him struggling.

It’s harder for him to take control, Zack’s cells? They really are blocking JENOVA?

Gives him enough confidence to fight the fear.

“Together, Cloud, we can save her.”

Sephiroth sounds…more desperate. Does it hurt him too? Fighting against Zack’s cells. Cloud hopes so, hopes with his whole being.

A rage follows, Sephiroth’s, it’s near consuming all the good in his soul. Cloud’s had enough, close to blacking out from all the blood and the fire.

_Reunion, my puppet._

_Reunion._

No, _enough_. He grips Masamune, cuts into his palms but it’s a small pain compared to his chest ripping open. He can’t push it out of him, but pulling it free from the earth below his knees is enough. Allows him just the smallest amount of strengthen, throws himself backwards to knock Sephiroth off him.

The shrieking that follows is bone chilling. All wrong and sour toned-too scratchy and other-worldly. He’s afraid to look.

JENOVA.

Sephiroth is barely even his own body, jerking and twitching and shattering before him. So much black ooze, and wiggling worms under his skin. They rip open his flesh from within, wanting to get out. Wanting to get at Cloud. Sephiroth’s just laughing, all hunched in and jerking harsh sharp turns.

His airy laugh turning sour and mixing with the wrong tones.

Cloud’s almost got Masamune out of his chest, when Sephiroth’s whole body seizes, eyes wide and rage-filled. A mass of tangled fleshy tentacle-arms burst through his chest, showering Cloud in black and fiery purple liquid. Burns worse than real fire.

Amazingly, Sephiroth’s still standing, movements unbalanced and uneven, the JENOVA arms thick and wiggling from his body.

They stretch and rush, collide with Cloud, wrapping around his body and pulling him in, pulling him to Sephiroth.

_Reunion_

_Reunion_

_My puppet_

The stench is gagging him, forcing him to gasp in what little air he can.

A fucking JENOVA arm just shoves right in and down his throat. Wants in him for control, wants to rid his body of Zack’s cells. It’s screaming at him, Sephiroth’s airy laugh still echoing with it.

_No._

Pushes back with all the energy he has left.

_Get out-_

Cloud wakes gasping for air and body shooting up to curl down and protect itself. He’s covered in sweat and he can still feel JENOVA squirming in his throat, too strong a ghost feeling along his skin.

The nausea starts to push it away and then all he can taste is mint.

Barely makes it over to the tiny bathroom. Just hurls violently and shakes against the warm ceramic of the toilet. His whole body is sore, like JENOVA really was ravishing him and trying to take control. Very distantly, he feels a pang of guilt. Doesn’t want Zack to feel this, Cloud pushes down on their connection as fast as he can. Brings a pulsing headache, but…

It’s okay, Cloud can manage alone this time.

Zack’s with Kunsel. He needs a break. Cloud’s been mucking up his happiness, his carefree laughter and bright joy that’s usually hovering around him.

Zack needs a break from all of Cloud’s instability and sorrow. It brings a dull ache all into his bones, that Cloud’s slowly wearing Zack down. He knows he is. The way he is with Kunsel, all high energy and eager… Kunsel’s good for him, needs a friend that can bring out his old happiness. Cloud’s only heard Zack laugh brightly like that when they were young and fresh in ShinRa.

Cloud’s got to do this alone. For Zack.

Seems to take longer, with nothing to distract him, without Zack’s touch soothing him. Feels more debilitating as he’s fighting to keep his mind link shut.

The mako finally slows, lets him notice the drying wetness on his face. He’s too shaky when he stands, hovers in place before he tries to move. The mako is starting to affect him worse, weaker after each time, slower to recover. Too many timelines collapsing all at once?

Guess it doesn’t really matter, he’s just tired of it. He makes it to the sink, washes out his mouth and staggers the long distance back to bed. At least…it’s so exhausting on his body that he doesn’t have to curl up and sit in the silence for long. Falls right back into sleep, where he’s more vulnerable.

Zack is there to greet him, in the mountains and the trees, better than being awake without him, even if it just dream Zack.

***

Something wakes her, disorienting as she sits up and her ears are met with late night silence and Tifa’s breathing across the room.

Maybe it was just a weird dream then, or a memory coming to her that she’ll just randomly remember later. She thought, over time, things would start evening out and clear up. It’s only getting more random and showing her things that don’t help, all they do is make her feel guilty without any new information on how to fight JENOVA or even where to find Sephiroth.

She’s a little ticked at herself, what good is this spell if she can’t get at the information in time.

Oh, a small sound against the wall. It’s faint. She hunches in and listens harder, as if curling her body really helps her listen better.

Again, slightly louder, sounds like a whimper?

Oh, makes her chest tight, _it’s Cloud._

She breathes a frustrated sad sigh. She should have warned him more, in the beginning, should have been more firm about how badly he was going to be affected.

“Aerith?” Tifa’s sitting up, wide awake and twisting around to face her.

“Sorry, did I wake you?” She didn’t mean to do that either. Her shoulder is still bothering her when Cloud yanked it. Aerith keeps trying to heal it when she’s not looking, but Tifa catches her every time and tells her off.

Save her mana, she tells her. So dumb, there are so many ethers around. Maybe she’ll just heal it in her sleep.

“No, I’ve been awake,” Tifa says after a bit, she’s listening too.

Then…

Another distressed noise floats through the wall.

Cloud woke both of them. They both jump at the muffled shout that happens next.

“Is Zack still out?” Tifa’s already moving, slipping her bare feet onto the concrete floor. Aerith follows her.

She’s not going to just sit here and listen to Cloud’s distressing noises. She prepares herself for, she’s not sure. Anytime she thinks of Cloud in pain all she sees is JENOVA everywhere and Cloud screaming.

Clearly that’s not what’s happening, but still, she can’t shake the feeling that JENOVA will just be everywhere as they open the door to the boy’s room.

It’s not. Just a dark, tiny barrack room, the same as theirs. Zack isn’t here.

Cloud’s curled in a ball really tight on the bed. Even from here, she can see his shoulders shaking.

It’s not the horror she knows for him, but it still makes her heart ache.

“Cloud,” Tifa sighs his name in a rush, quickly and quietly slips down next to him.

Ever so gently, she touches his shoulder, leans a bit out of the way, in case he wakes violently.

So clearly in her mind, a time memory. She’s woken Cloud from a nightmare once, he’d knocked her so hard waking up she fractured her arm. He hovered over her for weeks and slept even less than he normally did.

Whatever is stressing him, it’s not violent enough to wake swinging. Tifa’s touch doesn’t pull him from sleep even. He sighs into stilling, going loose. Tifa risks scooting closer and very slowly pulls Cloud from his safe little ball curl. He goes easily, lets her pillow his head on her lap.

- _Tifa’s pulling Cloud’s head into her lap. It’s been days of this and Aerith can’t see it stopping any time soon. He holds it together as they travel, barely. Relies on their chatter to keep him slowly going._

_As soon as the campfire is roaring and warming them, he breaks. Lately, he’s been trying to go off on his own. Tifa nearly had a heart attack the first time he just up and disappeared into the darkness two days ago. Screamed at him with tears on her cheeks until he broke and just collapsed against her, shaking._

_Zack’s been dead for a week. He might as well have taken Cloud with him, the amount of numbness he’s walking around with. Tonight is the first time he lets Tifa comfort him. Lays curled around her and staring into the fire as she threads her fingers through his hair._

_Doesn’t stop his tears. There’s nothing they can say that will._

_Aerith feels terrible. Maybe, if they hadn’t split up. It’s her fault, she’d used her mana too fast and Zack had taken too hard of a hit. It’s selfish of her, to hope Cloud doesn’t blame her. She doesn’t think she could take that guilt. Her own is enough._

_They don’t how to help him and she’s already been worried about that weird infection that showed up two weeks ago, the one in his left arm. She doesn’t know what it is, looks pretty nasty already._

_She wishes Zack were still here_.-

“Hey,” Tifa’s calling to her softly, “you okay? Look like you remembered something awful.”

She did. Shakes it as best she can. That lingering wish for Zack sticks with her though. Follows her like a breeze as she slips down next to Tifa. Also wishing the memories didn’t come back to back like that.

Cloud looks okay, tiny frown lines and brow furrowing, but he doesn’t seem as distressed as he sounded. Must have been bad at some point, to wake both of them, even with the thin walls.

“I’m fine, how’s our SOLDIER?”

Tifa gives her a long knowing look.

She knows, okay. She knows she shouldn’t keep this stuff in, but something is always coming up. They are just memories that aren’t real anymore. She can’t do anything with them or about them. Still sweet of Tifa to worry about her, makes her giddy with nerves and warmth.

“I think…a nightmare?” There’s no indication of anything else. Except that little twitch in his left fingers, a small spasm in his palm.

“…do you think, he gets memories too?” Tifa asks her, slowing her hair threading, Cloud responses to the softer touches more. Relaxes further and loses the frown lines.

Besides the worst one for him to remember, Zack's death. She doesn’t think so. Hopes not, memories from other timelines. That would just be the ultimate punch to the gut, on top of everything else he’s got to deal with.

“No,” she answers, “I thin-”

The door bursts open. Bangs loudly against the wall. Makes her and Tifa jump.

Cloud’s still out.

And Zack’s gasping air into his lungs, eyes wide with concern.

“um…” Tifa says, dazed.

It is Zack’s room, why shouldn’t he just come bursting in like a wild man.

“Is he okay?” Zack quiets, but doesn’t lose that slightly panicked look in his eyes.

“I think…so.” Tifa’s moving out of his way, handing Cloud off to him, “how’d you know something was wrong?”

Zack’s still kicking his shoes off as he pulls Cloud into his arms, buries his face against his head.

“The connection thing,” he says into Cloud’s hair, only lifts his eyes to glance at them, “felt a weird panic and then he shut me out.”

Aerith keeps forgetting about that, from Tifa’s little surprised body shift, she does too. They had been skeptical when Zack mentioned it off-handed to them. 

They’ve never had this mind connection before, not in any of the timelines she's seen so far. Zack also mentioned something about their JENOVA cells. She’d looked at Hojo’s notes, back in Kalm, on the data pad Jessie had stolen. Just briefly, before she got too angry and just tossed it aside.

She can’t help thinking it’s a side effect from the collapse timelines, that’s changing Zack’s cells. What else would it be? Except that Zack’s got no link to the timelines.

Other than dying in more than half of them. The lifestream maybe? It is mako…but how does it link back to him.

Maybe it's just this specific time line. Or Hojo did something weird to them.

Whatever is causing it, she didn’t think it was that intense. Zack felt Cloud’s discomfort all the way outside.

“Shut you out?” Tifa asks, she leans over to rest against Aerith. Trying to ease some of her mind jumbles.

Makes her want to kiss her again.

“Yeah, I get all static-y when he does it.”

“Static,” Tifa tenses, “like…Sephiroth static?”

Aerith didn’t think about that. This connection being similar to Cloud’s static attacks. If Cloud can shut Zack out…can he with Sephiroth too? That would be nice actually; she’s getting tired of holding back information from them. Caves a bit more every day, but the fear of Sephiroth listening in still wins out.

“I guess,” Zack lowers his eyes again, nuzzles against Cloud, “JENOVA cell bullshit.”

Cloud’s whole body tenses the second he mutters JENOVA, almost as if it pierced into his mind. His whole left arm twitches.

“Fuck.”

Tifa’s standing, pulling Aerith with her, “come on, we’ll leave you two be.” She says.

Aerith doesn’t want too. She wants to stay and help Cloud, figure some things out. Now that she’s got a better grasp on how much Sephiroth can listen in. Tifa’s grasping her hand and tugging her out of the room anyway.

“Tifa, I wanna stay and-”

“We should let them be alone,” Tifa sets her gaze on her, serious and almost stern, “Cloud’s easily overwhelmed as it is. I don’t think he’d like all the attention at once.”

Fair, she guesses. She still pouts at her.

“Come on, we’ve got a lot to do later, let’s try to rest some more.” Pulls her under her arm and they collapse together on Aerith’s bed, staring up at the ceiling and try not to listen in on the boys.

***

He should’ve come back the moment he felt Cloud lock him out. Wasn’t as harsh as their argument shut out, but it’d still been out of nowhere, so fast he closed their connection that it zapped him. Left a bitter taste in his mouth.

It bothered him enough to pause, almost tell Kunsel he’d have to chance seeing him later, on their mission. He didn’t though, he felt nothing after and the constant wall of static block from before wasn’t there so…

Shit, he should’ve just come and checked on him at least. He’s got no idea what happened, no nosebleed, so no Sephiroth? Must have been something, Cloud’s never jerked so hard just from him muttering about JENOVA cells.

Kunsel would have understood.

Zack just…it’d been so awesome seeing him. Kunsel’s been a good friend to him, looked out for him when he started as a cadet. They rose up together in the ranks and when they both had made SOLDIER, they pretty much called dips on each other for all future partner related training.

He’d been so excited too, when Zack made 1st, understood when Angeal died. When the war had started taking its toll on him. Shit…even finding out that he hadn’t stopped looking for him.

Zack at least owed seeing him off back to Midgar.

“Mmm,” Cloud’s finally eased back into a calm, shifts against him, “Zack?”

“Yeah, I’m here.” his voice comes out all thick.

Cloud only lifts his lids for a second, glances up at him, and then snuggles in closer. Wraps his arms and legs around Zack and half falls back asleep.

“Have fun?” he mumbles into his shirt.

He did.

“Cloud.” Zack keeps getting caught off guard, with this push and pull. Feels like he did something wrong and then fixes it, only to get sucked back in to the wrong.

“Hm.” Mostly still asleep. Zack tries their connection; Cloud’s not blocking him anymore.

Maybe he shouldn’t but…he pushes a little harder. Feels the pull this time.

And then he’s surrounded by mountains.

Cloud’s been at the tree line every time, so he heads there.

Nearly trips on him halfway, he’s sitting in the tall wheat fields, looking up at the night sky. So many stars, clear and a slight chill.

“Hi, Zack.” So happy. He’s so happy in his headspace.

Zack goes right to him, crowds him down against the wheat, and gets his lips against his own.

Cloud smiles up at him so brightly, “aren’t you tired?” he asks him, brushes some of Zack’s hair away from his face.

He’s been doing that a lot lately. Reaching out for Zack first.

“Nah.”

Cloud’s smile weakens, “you don’t have to lie.”

Pulls a small offended noise from him, he’s not….

“Cloud-”

“-sleep Zack,” He’s reaching up, gets his arms around Zack’s neck, and pulls him down to rest against his chest, “you need sleep.”

He _needs_ to make sure Cloud is okay.

Cloud’s stroking his hair and trapping him with locked knees. It’s not really stopping Zack, just like Cloud can easily get away from him when he’s rough housing with him. Cloud’s heart beat is soothing against his ear and he can’t deny he doesn’t want to move. Nowhere he’d rather be then against Cloud.

Maybe he is a little tired.

Blacks out even in Cloud's mind, thinks he hears Cloud mutter "I'm fine, sleep."

He wakes up alone, lots of movement noise outside in the hallway. Must be morning. Zack rolls over-

-shit, he slept in. _A lot._ It’s almost noon.

Cloud had wanted to spar. Awesome, just…

Zack sighs, rolls into sitting up and digs his palms into his eyes. Washes up fast and dresses faster. Cloud’s fusion sword is gone; his buster is sitting there against the wall looking lonely. He doesn’t take it. It’ll be too late to spar now, they are due to head out on their mission by six. Too much to do. He wanders out into the hallway, making sure to stay out of peoples way, there’s definitely a rush and excitement about. Doesn’t even have hushed whispers following him as he goes.

There’s a bit of a crowd outside, near the far fields. He can see Aerith’s pink summer dress swaying in the light breeze and Red’s fiery tail flickering near her.

But it’s the massive blasts of wind that really alert him. Tifa. Must be sparring with Cloud then, that big of a crowd, doesn’t matter who hates on SOLDIERS, everyone wants to see one in action.

He slips up next to Aerith, notes nearly half their team is also watching.

“Hey sleepy head,” Aerith says.

“Hey yourself,” he playful glares at her too sweet smile, “what’s going on, Cloud ditch me?”

Kind of. Tifa’s giving him a run for his money, she’s faster than Zack is.

Aerith laughs, nice and light, “yeah like Cloud would really ever ditch you.”

He was just kidding and Aerith is playing along, but still. A sweet satisfaction comes over him.

Cloud looks good, breaking a little sweat even. Only takes him a few seconds of watching to notice, they’re not really sparring. Cloud’s doing most of the attacking, wide range, and hard hitting. They’re leveling up Tifa’s wind materia. She’s knocking him away easily, doesn’t even let him get halfway between his attacks. She’s also not doing it gently, determined, and with a confident glint in her eyes.

“Come o-n, hot stuff. Need to push this a few more levels before we leave.” Tifa calls to him.

Cloud kicks it up a notch immediately, mid attack, starts getting glowy and sparkles fly up and down his sword. He gathers enough to send a massive wave, nearly half the crowd gets nervous, takes more than a few steps back.

Tifa’s nice enough to have open grass fields at her back, not the ever growing crowd of Avalanche members. She’s putting on the glow too, her chakra’s activated for a bigger leveling boost.

The air gets heavier with moisture, Cloud’s pulling in some heat, and everything goes still.

Nearly everyone jumps at the crack of thunder, rolls loud and long overhead. Zack guesses, maybe a small quarter of the crowd realizes it’s Cloud making the storm. At first, gets pretty hard to ignore lightning bolting down in precise spots.

He sends the lightening down after Tifa, chases her around the concrete, flash after flash, crackling and ear splitting crashes the whole time. Zack’s heartbeat is racing just watching.

“Oooo, feel it?” Aerith says and side steps closer to him.

The air drops around them, Cloud’s doubling in on the storm. Kicks up some wind and draws it in. He’s nearly bleeding a blue glow now, rising off his body in slow, evaporating wisps. It gets real dark and Tifa’s a constant blur, lightning still chasing her. Ten in a row this time, she has to double back and skip around Cloud just to doge the last few.

He’s not going easy at all. Even Zack’s starting to feel nervous.

Tifa’s laughter gets sucked into the storms overhead, but he hears it faintly.

“Too easy, tough guy!”

Zack can’t even pin point where she is, her voice just hanging in an empty spot.

Cloud’s got her, the hard set in his eyes. He lunges, far and not where Zack thought. He’s still hanging on to that lightning wave, crackles along the fusion sword. Gets in a hit or two that Tifa blocks and then-

Cloud’s knocked back, she landed a good punch, he goes skimming across the concrete. Flips right before he crashes into the crowd and leaps up high, too high for Tifa even. Pulling out the tricks, Zack’s sure only he and a few others see it. The fusion sword, Cloud’s knocked all the blades free, each one ripping with a wave of lightning. He flings each one in Tifa’s general direction, just slightly one after another. Fast, they are just blurs of blue and crackling.

She should jump out of the way, it’s too risky, the speed Cloud is hurling them. She just powers up some more, pulls the wind away from Cloud’s storm-

Oh. He did it on purpose, to give her more power too. Double the storm, double the wind resistance for her to manipulate.

That materia is going to be more powerful than her last.

His blades are no problem for her, she knocks them outta the way with perfect timing and perfect hits. Sends them right back to Cloud. Maybe makes him work for it a little bit.

The blades all slide nicely right into each other, one, two, three, all of them just slinking back in with metal ringing in the air.

He sends her the rest of the storm as a one last hit. Lightning crashing around her, too many bolts at once. May have been a bit much.

He’s proven wrong; she’s spinning a wind shield around her, just sucks in all the lightning, and dissipates it into the air.

The silence is deafening.

Cloud drops to the ground right in front of him. Smoothly slips his pieced together sword onto his harness and turns to him, all slick smile and lightning fading from his eyes.

He’s still a little glowy. Fuck.

Fighting is a huge confidence booster for Cloud. He’s always been good at it, and the times he’s not taken to it instantly, he picks it up impressively fast. Despite all the eyes on him, and there are so many right now, Cloud saunters on up to him, and presses in, slightly rises to the pads of his feet, makes Zack lean down the rest of the way for the kiss.

He does, oh fucking- _he does._

There’s more than a few wolf whistles at them. The loudest one is Jessie. Zack knows that whistle anywhere.

Shies Cloud up just a bit. Pulls away from Zack faster than he wants, but he still lingers close enough Zack can smell the ozone on him. His lips are tingling from Cloud’s left over energy. Sexy.

“Where’s my ‘congrats you’re a badass’ kiss,” Tifa says, she’s flushed from the fight and smiling wide.

That wind materia in her glove’s slot is looking nice and airy-grey.

“Right here, gorgeous.” Aerith’s tapping her on the shoulder.

Huh-Zack had thought she’d made a move before now. But Tifa’s all surprised tension and tiny little ‘Mmph’ when Aerith’s pressing her lips against hers. Tension doesn’t last too long, Tifa’s melting right into her and- _oh okay._

Yeah, Zack kinda gets why they tease him and Cloud all the time now. The wolf whistles aren’t for them this time. Cloud’s laughing under his breath, leaning on Zack to hide it. Zack smirks at them when they break apart.

Tifa’s flushed pretty dark and clears her throat. Just as shy as Cloud. Aerith’s _beaming._ Latches onto Tifa’s arm and presses along her side.

“Level up enough?” Cloud asks Tifa. Some of that blush goes away, but not much.

“Oh, y-yeah.” She lifts it and shoves off the glowy orb to Cloud. Aerith’s leaning hard against her, soft giggles and smile just getting even brighter.

The crowd around them starts to thin out, still have lots to do and Barret’s already shouting about everyone standing around doing nothing. 

Cloud’s storm finally stars drizzling, a misty rain fall that has everyone complaining, but has Zack’s stomach doing flips. All the rain is collecting in tiny dew drops in Cloud’s lashes. Too bad he doesn't have time to do anything about it.

It’s a lot of running around from then. Mission parameters span over three days, the night they get there, the following night of the mission, and the (hopefully) night it takes to fly the airship back. Wedge drops by and hands everyone a pack, tells them to fill it with whatever they need for three days.

Zack doesn’t have much, neither does Cloud. Just an extra pair of clothes and two sets of their undergarments, so they shove half their remedies into the pack. Cloud’s stripping, heading into the shower to wash off all the sweat and rainwater before he runs out of chances.

Jessie comes knocking on their door just as Cloud’s snapping his weapon harness back on.

“Okay, you two, almost ready to go? Barret wants to go over a few last minute things and we’re loading the choppers already. Zack, you should at least meet the platoon we are taking with us, they’ll be under your command.”

Great, Avalanche people that have probably been sneering at him for the last few days. He nods at her, not really having anything positive to say. Jessie lingers for just a moment, eyeing his mood before leaving with a two finger wave.

He turns around right into Cloud.

“Hey,” standing so close, Zack can’t help the amused chuckle.

Cloud stares at his shoulder, blinks, and then is reaching around Zack.

He’s putting his harness on for him. Snaps it in to place and slides his hands slowly along his torso. Looks up at him through his lashes, slightly tilts his head up. Cloud’s height is always more noticeable when he lingers so close, top of his head barely comes past Zack’s chin.

“Thanks,” he’s being weird. They don’t have time for Zack to figure out why. Leans in and dips his head to press his lips against his forehead.

They finish packing up, slipping on their gloves and weapons on their backs.

Feels final, standing in the small barren room with everything on their bodies.

“Let’s go,” Cloud says, grabs the pack given to them and they head out, they stop and wait for the girls to finish shoving their things into their own packs. Leave the barracks together as a group. Heading back out into the humidity kick starts Zack’s nerves.

Aerith's tugging Tifa along by her hand, swinging her arm a bit and leading the way to the choppers.

It's soothing, or at least distracting, to have everyone around him not as nervous as he is.

***

Cissnei can’t get over how sweet it is, Zack hovering around Kunsel as they wait for the chopper taking them back to warm up. It’s late, if the pilot pushes it, they’ll make it back just as most of ShinRa’s employees are coming in for the day.

She’s anxious, but not worried. Her PHS hasn’t beeped at her. She doubts anyone has noticed she’s been gone.

“What’s wrong, you okay?” Kunsel’s asking Zack.

He’s stiff for a moment, frown on, and glancing back at the barracks to their left.

“Yeah…”

“Zack,” Kunsel’s grabbing at his shoulders, “you good? Gotta keep your head on, Mr. team leader.”

Gets Zack to laugh, brings his focus back. He yanks on Kunsel’s forearms, breaks his hold on his shoulders, and pulls him in for a hug.

Cissnei smirks, they sure hug a lot. Five years apart...

“Be careful, don’t let Rufus figure you guys out,” Zack says, looks past Kunsel at Cissnei.

Sweet, he’s at least trying to trust her completely. She smiles, comes up behind Kunsel, and tugs him in the chopper. Times up, the wind is loud around them.

“Don’t worry Zack; he’s got me looking out for him.”

Another round of smiles and a hard fist bump between Kunsel and Zack sends them off. The chopper lifts smoothly and they both watch Zack staring after them get smaller and smaller.

It’s just the noise and them. Only two Avalanche members the haven't met with them, both up front.

“So, you gunna go running to Tseng?” Kunsel asks, harsh words, but his tone is calm and airy, not accusing. She’s still a bit offended.

“No, I’m not,” Really she isn’t but… “You can’t trust Avalanche completely either.” It’s dangerous to admit, Kunsel’s just looking for an excuse to cut loose, there’s a hard line in his shoulders since the last meeting.

He’s quiet for a long time, so long Cissnei thinks their conversation is over for the night.

“I trust Zack.”

There’s danger in that, trusting an individual. Allows for mistakes to form and tumble out of control. She trusts Zack too, but the people he’s putting his trust in? She’s not sure, the same as she’s not sure about her own group. A slippery-sloop. Cynical, she hears Reno saying it loud and clear in her head. Cynical thinking, but really that’s what the Turks have taught her the most.

Only truly trust yourself.

Their pilot does rush the ride over, time seems to fly by now that she’s dreading getting back to HQ. Unsure how she’s going to bring this up to Rude and Reno…without Tseng’s eyes and ears listening in. He usually leaves them all alone…when they aren’t grouped together. Thinks they are up to something if they are all hanging out together for too long. She frowns, this is all making it very clear how paranoid Tseng has been lately.

Pinks and light blues and oranges blend toward them in the sky as the chopper hovers low enough for them to jump out, levels up, and heads around the city in all but a few seconds.

Just the fiends waiting around now. Kunsel’s already punching in a code to get the rarely used gate open. They slip inside and sudden it feels as if weeks have gone by.They were only gone for two days but she’s exhausted mental and physically.

“Still gotta drive back, agent Cissnei.”

Back to being proper then. She supposes it’s harder for Kunsel, to pop in and out of professionalism. SOLDIERS are bred for one thing only. Fighting, it’s why nearly all of them turn out so insane. So far, Kunsel’s even more level-headed then Zack. Maybe a bit too blunt, but she’s yet to see any crazy in him.

Joining a rebellion and not letting go the death of a friend for five years is pretty extreme.

It's sweet and he’s right, Zack wasn’t dead by a long shot. Maybe she has seen his crazy, it’s just not in the usual form of hysterical laughter and chaotic destruction bursts.

The bike is still leaning against the gate and they zoom down the freeway, only hitting a small amount of traffic as they near the perimeter of HQ. Easily pulls into the garage before any supply trucks come in and just as the sun is finally rising above the wall surrounding Midgar.

Kunsel’s pulling on his helmet, nods at her and waits for her to leave the garage before entering the building. She kinda misses his pretty face already. Got used to him wandering around without his helmet on.

There's not too many employees wandering in yet, she's jumpy and anxious she'll run into Tseng the whole way to internal affairs. She returns to her office first, in case Elena will show up for her daily schedule. She should still be shadowing with Reno, so hopefully, Cissnei’s absence has at least been over looked.

There is no one in her small room, nice and empty. She clicks the lights on and exhales heavily as she collapse down into her chair, she is very tired. Won’t get much time to rest, the Avalanche mission is due to start tomorrow night.

Wonders how well they will be able to keep out of sight, camped out just at the edge of Junon. They must be arriving there tonight, a full days worth of getting ready and set before.

She can’t believe they are going to try and pull this off. It’s more dangerous then they think. She should check Scarlet’s schedule, make sure ShinRa’s weaponry director isn’t going to be there for the heist.

“-Cissnei, I forgot, we need to-” Kunsel’s pushing in through her door, yanking his helmet off and staring her down, sternly.

Shuts his mouth the moment he stops in front of her desk, only cause Reno’s following him up through her doorway.

 _Kay._ A little early for her to deal with Reno, but there’s no stopping it. 

“Yo, you mad at me, Cissnei, I’ve been-what the,” Reno stops short, pointed look of disgust at Kunsel, “why’s a SOLDIER lurking around in here?”

Kunsel looks to the ceiling, probably for some help in restraining punching Reno. He’s just…so punch-able. She doesn’t know why. Must be that never ending cocky smirk.

He half turns to glare at Reno, gets his own eye roll in return.

“Oh, it’s just you Kunsel. Run along would’ ya. I gotta talk some Turk stuff with Cissnei.” Reno’s sliding past him, over and around her desk, collapses gingerly into the corner chair she has.

She hides her snort, must still be nursing some of those injuries then, judging by the wince in in his eyes as he shifts.

Kunsel grunts at him crosses his arm and cocks his hip in such a Zack move, she swears it’s him standing at her desk. They are way more alike than she thought.

“Actually, he should stay, right Cissnei?” Rude’s poking his head in nods politely at Kunsel, and lingers in the door frame, “good to see someone reads Tseng’s emails besides me.” He huffs at Reno.

Gets an eye roll for himself too.

Wait, email. No good, Reno’s right behind her, full view of her screen, she can’t bring it up to see what Rude is talking about.

“O-of course,” she hopes no one heard her stutter. Shit, she’s got no idea what she’s agreeing too, or even agreeing _Kunsel_ too. That might be worse. Her heart starts pounding.

“I read our emails.” Reno snips, stuck on that part of the conversation.

“Glancing at the title and whining at me that ‘you don’t wanna’, doesn’t count as reading.” Rude’s failing at hiding a soft smile at him.

She’ll never understand, how Reno got under his skin so much. It takes someone real special to put up with Reno, much less think his boasting is endearing. That look in Rude’s eyes, there’s no other term for it. Endeared by Reno and all his dumb arrogance.

“ _Anyway_ ,” Rude turns his attention, “boss will be down soon, let us know when the choppers is leaving-”

“-good-” she interrupts, gets a slight eye squint from Kunsel. She’s being weird then. She’s got to focus a bit more on remaining calm.

“-nice you found Kunsel,” Rude hadn’t noticed her weirdness, does eye Kunsel’s glare at her. Shit, they are both being weird, “I was afraid Roche would be the only one available.”

For what, she’s got zero idea and no smooth way of finding out yet. She tries for nonchalant.

“You know, I thought so too, good thing I ran into Kunsel on the way in to the office. Much more level-headed,” she smiles sweetly at Kunsel, play along, for now, she thinks real hard in her head. Hopes he can see it in her eyes.

“Would have been nice if you let me in on what I’m doing for you Turks, not like I have a platoon to train.”

Oh, he is smart, leaped right for it without any hesitation. Puts her in a bit of hot water though.

Play along then.

“Sorry,” she fake winces, “just, we need a SOLDIER who’s not going off half-cocked for this. I really didn’t want to have to go for Roche, just kinda grabbed at you.”

Maybe that will be good enough to get Rude or Reno to spill.

“Tsch,” looks like it’s Reno, “you don’t say. I think guarding Rufus’s pretty little secret project won’t go over too well with Roche running around. If I have to hear about his stupid bike one more time.”

Secret project, her heart starts pounding faster, her stomach sinking…

“Still not sure why he’s nervous about it. Tseng’s not telling us much either. Just that we need extra eyes, a SOLDIER escort, and get on that chopper to Junon as fast as possible.”

Shit-Junon.

Rufus wants the Turks keeping an eye on the airship. Double, triple, all the major shits.

Kunsel hides his surprise well, barely gets tense. His eye twitches in restraint, keeping them from widening.

Must mean Rufus has a suspicion, why else would he get antsy. Maybe…the ship is almost finished, so he just wants it to go smoothy? Take no chances? She hopes so, otherwise, someone in Avalanche has been made.

Rude’s PHS rings, answers with a grunt and a short ‘yes, we’ll be there’.

“Boss telling us to get a move on?” Reno’s already rising from the chair, slowly.

She frowns at him, “you sure you should be going on this mission?”

Gets sneered at for her concern. Yeah, it's not the arrogance, this is why everyone wants to punch Reno, too cagey.

“Change of plans, chopper is ready for us now,” Rude says, slipping is PHS back into his pocket.

Kunsel can’t hide his body jerk now. This isn’t good; she’s got no time to let Avalanche know they won’t be needing a ride to Junon…Because they will already be there. She’ll just have to hope…someone will notice they are not around to send out a message, maybe overhear Tseng. Seems pretty hard, there’s a reason he became the Turk leader over everyone else.

She’s got no choice. Her and Kunsel, they just have to follow Rude and Reno out the door, both their shoulders tight and faces too neutral. She can’t look at him, feels like her panic will burst her heart. He does brush up against her the whole way to the flight deck up top, keeps re-grounding her every time.

It’s okay. It’s fine, they can still do this.

She’ll just have to…get to Zack first somehow.

Shit.

***

They leave hours ahead of schedule, Barret rounding everyone up and pushing them onto one of the smaller choppers. The ‘troopers’ Zack’s in charge of get on the large drop off helicopter that picked them up in Kalm. Along with all their supplies, gear, camping equipment, and anything else needed. Feels more and more like war, the longer Zack watches, the longer they stay.

He hasn’t been in charge of a unit in years. Normally 2nd’s get their own command when not on missions, but Zack had been so used to running around with Angeal and the rest of 1st class, he’d only instructed a few platoons after the war was over. Kunsel always liked it, he’s good with large groups, good at inspiring and keeping control. With a harsh, yet understanding way that Zack will never master. 

Zack’s good at the inspirational part, not so much the discipline. Angeal used to say _too_ inspirational, getting everyone overly rowdy and hyped.

With loud wind in his ears and the fading land mass of Wutai, Zack wonders if he'll see it again. Still not his favorite place on Gaia. Even with the ache, it was nice to feel Angeal's presence near every corner in the village. Bleeds out into the flat lands and the constant warm breeze. Wutai's a jumble of contradictions for him. Dark thoughts from the war, painful ones too, but Angeal's nearly in every stone and blade of grass, the amount of time they spent there.

Zack hopes, wherever he is in the lifestream, he's not too disappointed.

There’s nothing but quiet whispers among them, nerves growing in everyone. Zack’s are still lingering, but the longer their ride is, the more the nerves fade. No point, in wasting energy on it, this is happening, either way. Finishing the task is more important than worrying about the outcome. So he does that, thinks quickly through who he’s needing for heavy hitting and support, he wants to pull Cid aside to go over in detail the ships’ interior and switch out his materia in his buster again.

He tries not to loop his thoughts, but it’s hard when he’s got nothing to do but sit and wait. He only manages to snap himself out of following a tangent twice before he just gives in.

A soft, concerned touch stills his bouncing knee. Cloud’s not looking at him, but slowly thumbs circles into his skin. Focus on that instead, Zack hears his thought clearly, giving him a grounding pressure to relax against.

Zack can do that, zones out to the endless ocean below them, and the slowly fading humidity. Cloud’s touch the only bright spot in his mind, lulls him back and Zack’s finding himself yawning, feeling sleeps pull. He doesn’t go with it, he’s over tired from staying up too late with Kunsel and worrying over Cloud.

The closer they get, with the sun finally setting and everything below them getting a wash of golden light, it’s harder to stay awake. Cloud’s been extra sweet and keeps a touch on him the whole time. Even leans in, when the chopper finally lands into a clearing among a dense forest, bumps their foreheads together and squeezes his shoulder to pull him back from sleep some more.

It’s a fast rushing about and a numbing blur for Zack after they get out and touch the soft earth below the helicopters metal feet. They must be a good hours walk out from Junon, the ports not visible and Zack barely saw a glimpse of it as they flew in. Had to come up south, around the port and the town.

Everyone’s pulling equipment out, setting up rows of tents on one side of the clearing. Barret claps his hand on Zack’s shoulder, nudges Cloud a bit with the tip of his gun arm.

“This way, got a smaller campsite for us away from the troops.” He says.

It’s the first time Zack feels it. A spark of mistrust from Barret, he doesn’t trust HQ then. Not completely. Wants to keep their slowly growing team separate. Brings back a small bundle of those nerves that are useless to have. Barret leads them down a tiny path, to a smaller break in the trees, all the faded green tents at the larger clearing peeking in past the thick tree trunks. They can hear all the hustle and bustle too, faintly, just far enough so they have some privacy without leaving the group.

It’s a tighter fitting clearing, Cid’s setting up a small station for going over the mission. Biggs and Wedge have already set up three tents and are working on two more. Zack frowns, he must be more tired than he thought, seems like time is going by more than he realizes, when did they get all this stuff out here?

A harsh pat on his back signals Barret going back to check on the other Avalanche members. He can hear Jessie shouting something intangible and then laughing brightly. Feels calming in the darkening forest.

“Zack,” Cloud’s voice, so quiet, presses at Zack’s heart, “sit down,” he’s guided him over to the girls.

Tifa’s building up a structured woodpile for a large fire, Aerith and Red offering opinions with too many contradictions. Makes Tifa laugh, even if Red huffs at Aerith for purposely directing her to do the opposite of what he says. Cloud presses his lips to the top of his head and his warmth disappears from Zack’s back.

“Bro! Help with that one, over there,” he hears Wedge call across the site, Cloud’s sigh of annoyance is so loud, there has to be an eye-roll with it.

He's losing time again, fading in and out. Thinks he feels Cloud's touch every so often, but he's never near him when Zack comes back enough to focus. So much movement, watches everyone running around and setting up. Jessie comes bounding over, arms, and back full with sleeping bags. Barret’s a constant back and forth, mainly drawing Cid’s attention to follow him. Cloud’s movements draw him from his zoned out state the most. Keeps his gaze on him as he passes back and forth, helping with the tents, coming over to drop off more firewood next to Tifa. Zack should feel bad for not really helping out, but, so tired. Keeps crashing over him in larger and larger waves.

“You really are a sleepyhead today,” Aerith’s tilting her head at him, slipping down right against him and pats at his thigh, “too much fun with Kunsel?”

His laugh turns into a large yawn, can't manage more than that. Well, other than the lean towards Cloud's fleeting touch, at his right shoulder this time. Aerith's little smile and off centered gaze tells him he's not imagining it.

“Hope you’re not planning on another late night,” Red says, he’s curled much too close to the large fire Tifa’s gotten to take off. Must like the heat, his tail has a brighter flame, attracting the other fire.

Zack inhales roughly, “Don’t think I’ll even make it another hour.” He’s caught himself drifting too far into sleep twice already.

“Come on then,” Cloud’s trim body blocks the fire from him. When did it get so dark, “tent's up, come sleep.” He’s holding out his hand, looking down into Zack’s eyes. So sternly, like Zack’s going to fight him on it. Zack’s sleep lacking brain coos at him, cute, he’s so cute when he fuses over him.

Their tent is on the far end of the site, Zack doesn’t miss how it’s spaced father from the rest of the circle, deeper into the forest and more privacy. A few large logs propped up against each other in a makeshift rack, Cloud’s fusion sword resting there and Zack feels Cloud slide his buster off his back, placing it next to his. Unzips the small two person tent flap and nods his head in a 'come on' gesture.

Come on where?

“Zack,” Cloud’s back, right against him; brows bowed up and laughs worriedly, “don’t crash on me out here. I don’t wanna carry you.”

He totally could though. Zack’s okay with that. He’s so tired. Leans in and drapes his arms over Cloud’s shoulders and lets his weight fall. He tries not to laugh, Cloud’s so short. He’s getting grunted at, but Cloud’s toned arms come up around his waist anyway. Drags him into the tent and just drops him onto their sleeping bags.

Odd, Jessie’s so weird, giving them two. Doesn’t she _know_? They share.

Man, he is getting really loopy.

“Move,” Cloud’s kneeling, all his armor off and shoes tucked into the far corner of the tent. Looks much softer, barefoot and bare arms. He’s untying Zack’s own boots and yanks his leg up to get them off faster.

Right, right, Zack should probably do that. He sits back up, weakly bats at Cloud’s hands, and removes his other boot. He lets Cloud take them from him to join his in the corner. He keeps moving around the tent and Zack’s pretty much done, whines at him.

Reaches out and grabs at Cloud’s calve as he walks past again, “get down here.”

He’s slurring, he knows it. He doesn’t wanna fall asleep without Cloud in his arms.

Cloud goes smoothly with his pull, collapses with a tiny grunt into Zack’s chest. Good, that’s where Zack needs him to-

-whoa, _whoa_ , “Mmph,” Zack’s grunting now, Cloud rolls them and he arm wrestles Zack down against his own chest. Wraps his arms tightly and holds him.

Oh, this is…this is good too. He shifts, scoots up a bit more so he can burrow into Cloud’s neck and slip his arms under Cloud and around his back. He’s warm in the chill slinking into the tent. Even as he falls into sleep, feels their mind link crackling with the smell of the campfire lingering on Cloud’s skin.

***

Cloud’s not sure how Zack does it, links their minds so strongly he ends up appearing in Cloud’s headspace. Even as Zack gives in to his exhaustion, Cloud can hear the crackling get louder, mingles with the distant wood cracking outside the tent. Usually, it’s comforting, knowing Zack’s reaching for him. But…he knows Zack’s this tired because of him. Sure, he’d stayed up to see Kunsel off but…it’s been too many nights interrupted, too many Cloud’s drawn Zack’s worry all through the early morning hours. Cloud holds him tighter, wishes he could bring Zack closer into his body and waits to fall into sleep after him.

It's not long, stares up at the dark contours of the tent and then there’s white all around him. Jarring, he hasn’t been in a blinding white for a while, headspace then?

Their mutual one?

Usually, Nibelheim finds him before Cloud’s aware he’s even consciously in their link. Waits for the mountains and the forest and the wheat fields to just appear.

Instead, an endless sky just appears in the white. Goes on forever and ever, all blue and white fluffy clouds. Lingers with a gentle breeze before a sunset quickly goes down and the sky is turning dark and fills with stars. The arm of their galaxy, Cloud sees it blooming in a line all along the darkness. It’s breath taking and beautiful. Cloud can’t look away.

“Cloud?” Zack, he sounds pleasantly surprised to see him, “hey, you found your way.”

He’s behind him, Cloud turns just enough to get his arms pinned in Zack’s incoming embrace.

Found his way…is this…Zack’s headspace. The sky…it’s just the sky, no land masses to see, even the ground is shiny and reflective, shimmering with the image above them. A water like mirror, without the water. If Cloud looks hard enough, the ground is just short blades of grass. Guess Zack likes the sky so much, he thinks it to reflect all around him.

Zack’s twisting him so he can get his lips on his and his hands cupping the small of his back, pressing their torsos together tightly.

“You just visiting in your sleep? How’d you manage that, thought I'd be in mountains by now.”

Cloud laughs softly, doesn’t bother pulling away from Zack’s lips. Zack’s always wanting to be the closest he can to him. So he just shrugs against his body.

“Dunno, am I bothering you?”

Means more like, is he bothering his sleep. Cloud hopes not. Zack needs more than just a good night’s rest. Still needs that break from him. The jealousy swings back in full when he thinks it but…

He wishes Kunsel was still with them, so Zack could have that chaotic happiness that used to just surround him constantly.

“Are you kidding, you better spend the whole night with me.”

“Zack…that’s so dumb, I’m literally holding you.”

Zack’s whole body rolls with his burst of laughter, his eyes glowing more with it. He sounds so carefree and younger…

Like…like with Kunsel. His jealousy wavers. Maybe, he’s just thinking too hard on all this then.

Still, being dumb?

Zack’s still laughing, warm chuckles in his throat and hums on his lips as he presses back in. Cloud can taste his laughter…it’s a little heart breaking, how sweet it is. A feeling of belonging comes with it, cradles him, and holds him. Cloud's never had that and Zack gives it so willingly to him.

He's pressing back, gets Cloud to stumble and they tumble down into the weird reflective grass. It’s nice and cool on their skin. Soft, doesn’t hurt at all to fall against it. Like falling into the sky.

“Okay,” Zack says, that smile won’t leave his face, lights up his eyes and crinkles the edge of his jaw scar, “then, _will_ you stay the whole night?”

His heart thumps hard. How can he not, surrounded by the night sky and Zack pushing him down into the grass, eyes so icy and glowing like flames. That fucking smile that shouts joy and freedom and-

He’s just been so stupid again. Can't believe anyone puts up with him.

Feels all of Zack’s happiness in the hollow if his chest, fills him so much it’s pushing him close to tears. He shakes with it. Zack tilts his head to the side, juts his chin. So much like a confused puppy. Cloud laughs, embarrassingly a bit watery.

“You okay, Cloudy-sky?”

He thinks he is. Maybe, if he just wasn’t so dumb, didn't run with his negative thoughts so quickly. Hard to imagine, with all of Zack’s intensity around him, in him, Cloud couldn’t shake the thought that Zack was unhappy. He’s not unhappy and Cloud’s just been jealous for no reason.

Cloud should focus more on that, being okay, better. So Zack won’t have to worry so much. Really Cloud's just running himself in circles.

“I-I think I’m starting to be…” Feels intimate to admit, more than when Zack’s moving inside him and staring into his eyes.

Zack bites at his own lower lip, smile going small and content. So tender, that look in his eyes, Cloud breaks every time. Zack bumps their noses together before shifting his head and presses his lips on Cloud’s again. Laughs into their kissing and wiggles his body against Cloud’s whenever he’s overtaken with too much happiness. Little bursts of it every so often. Clutches at Cloud’s heart so much its start to hurt.

The best kind of hurt. Cloud doesn’t ever want it to go away.

They spend the whole night like that. Under the breathtaking night sky, pressed in so close and kissing tenderly.

When Cloud wakes, tent glowing with the pale yellow light of early morning, Zack stirs at the same time. Pushes back onto his elbows and stares down at Cloud with sleepy hooded eyes. Breathes in real deep, like he’s trying to take in Cloud with the air.

“Damn,” Zack’s voice is thick and low, “haven’t slept that good in forever. You gotta spend the night with me all the time now.”

Breaks out the most breathtakingly bright smile Cloud’s ever seen. Feels as if he’s looking at freedom and the sky.

Zack presses in and kisses him, it zings. Nice to feel the real pressure of it, gets his lips all tingly, and sparks a burst of joy. _Zack’s_ , he’s pushing it through their link. Of course, just as Cloud’s melting into the kiss and Zack’s starting to put serious thought into his touches, their tent flap is unzipping and Jessie’s sticking her head in, she’s got her eyes squished closed.

“I’m not looking, I’m not _looking,”_ She sing-songs at them, “Stop whatever touching you are doing,” she waits a beat, and peeks open an eye, “I said st-op.”

They’re not doing anything. Zack’s barely even on him anymore, sitting up and clicking his tongue annoyingly at her.

“Jessie, we’re not doing anything,” Cloud says, whine-grunts a bit when he has to sit up. That chill in the night is lingering in the morning air and it was so _warm_ with Zack on top of him.

“Good, cause we have a problem.”

All the nice cuddling feelings Cloud’s too embarrassed to admit he has leaves instantly. No nicknames from her, no stupid little finger-gun movements. Not even a giggle after, a serious problem then.

“What is it?” Zack’s asking, shoving up to his feet and gets crunched down by the tent ceiling. Cloud snorts, gets his foot kicked for it.

“Meeting, five minutes, around the campfire, hurry up.” She’s ducking back out.

“Jessie, the problem?”

Pokes her head back in with a sigh, “Our SOLDIER and Turk agent didn’t show for pickup.”

Cloud’s heart starts pounding and Zack’s nerves switch on so strong, it floods their connection with a large bloom of anxiety.

Did something happen to them?

Or…Cloud hears it loud from Zack, betrayal. Did they betray them?

“Zack,” he calls.

There’s no way Kunsel would do that and he hates the cold dread that’s over coming Zack. He thinks Kunsel has. Frozen in his anxiety tangent that’s starting with an impressive run. Too many panicked thoughts all at once and it’s making Cloud’s head spin.

“ _Zack_ ,” Cloud calls him again, ‘come on back to me’ he thinks hard.

Cloud swiftly rolls onto his feet, slides a hand along Zack’s lower back, “Zack, he wouldn’t.” softy, he makes sure to be gentle.

Snaps him out of his tangent at least. Only eases the anxiety down to worry. Zack still feels off balance, so Cloud just places a kiss on Zack’s shoulder and tugs at him to follow. Boots on with loose laces, Cloud shivers, even colder air outside. Better than the stifling humidity in Wutai. Everyone’s blurry-eyed and emerging from their own tents, expect for Barret and Jessie. They stand around the burnt remains of the fire with frowns on and anxious body movements.

“What’s going on?” Tifa asks, pops her shoulders in a long stretch.

Barret doesn’t even wait for everyone to gather around, just see’s they are all out of their tents and says,

“Our ShinRa moles missed their pickup time,”

Most of them react like Zack, betrayal first in their minds. Not a good sign, no trust. He's more nervous about that then Kunsel and Cissnei missing. They can still move forward, Cloud doubts Barret is going to call it off. Even if he wants too. The lines around his dark eyes, telling Cloud, HQ won’t let him.

“We’re waiting,” Jessie says, “got a transmission from the base that a coded message came in from Midgar early this morning.”

So maybe…they are okay. Just that trust problem they have going.

“So,” Aerith sounds timid in the tense air, “what do we do?”

“Still follow the plan,” Barret says, he’s still far too tense, “Mission starts at sunset, 6:30 sharp. Just be ready, Jessie and I will get the troops and everything set.”

Jessie nods encouragingly, “Already got a few people coming back from scouting out the port.”

They break with worry on everyone’s mind and Cloud hovers close as Zack stares Barret down.

“You find anything out, come find me first.” He says, doesn’t ask.

Barret nods, “you got it,”

Jessie grips Zack’s bicep in a reassuring touch, but looks to Cloud, “keep distracted till then? Won’t be more than a few hours. Then we’ll know.”

Just the two of them standing there. Cloud’s not sure what he can do.

This whole mission is just turning out to be a waiting game. Zack’s terrible at that. His instinct tells him to reach out, Zack’s a touch-need person. Physical affection above anything else helps him. He’s never lashed out at Cloud either or turned away.

He’s not sure why he waivers but the odd mixture of anger and helplessness on his face is hard to see.

So he ignores the uncertain pit in his stomach and reaches out, pulls Zack to him, and rises on up to grab at his jaw. Zack’s melting down to him before their bodies even finish resting against each other. Sloppily returns his kiss, before shoving his face into Cloud’s shoulder.

They have things to do, Cloud has to make sure he loads up on ethers and he wants to warm up before they head out. Biggs, Jessie, and Wedge will want to go over their plan, they way all three of them kept eyeing him. He knows Zack has to go speak to the unit he’s leading and still has to switch out his materia in his buster. For the time they have, it'll eat up a chunk of the day. Have to head out earlier than sundown, the hike to Junon is just under an hour. With a group this large, it could take longer.

But, he can’t bring himself to pull away while Zack’s working around the worry in his head.

***

All of them, Cissnei can’t believe Tseng ordered all of them to Junon. Elena sitting at attention and eager to move out when they got on the chopper, bringing news with her that a few other SOLDIERS are already at Junon, awaiting instructions. Means just 3rd class then, hopefully newly promoted ones. They won't be that much trouble, first mako injections not even taking fully hold in their systems yet.

Their flight is short, Junon only an hour away. Bypassing the city section, built more north and a short drive to the port. She's not sure why they have to be there for two days. Maybe it'll give her a chance to send word to Avalanche.

It doesn't, the moment they touch down, all of them are directed to the main command area and are briefed for hours on how they are suppose to behave in Madam Scarlet's Junon site. After that, it's more instructions on the importance of keeping the HIGHWIND a secret and what their main roll in security is.

It's exhausting and lasts late into the night. She's so tired from her Avalanche missions, she passes out the moment she touches a mattress. Gets her a good rest at least, wakes feeling ready and alert. Barely gets cleaned up and starts looking for Kunsel. They've got till sundown to find a way to contact Avalanche.

It's still early in the morning, but the port looks busier than it should be. Could just because they arrived yesterday. The HIGHWIND stands out, a bright contrast against the dark metal of the massive gun sitting in the center of the port. She runs into Reno just as she's rounding the corner.

"Oh, good, I'm tired of everyone disappearing on me." he says, "we've got to make rounds today. Rude said something about updates for Rufus and- blah, blah, all that shit." he drapes an arm around her shoulders and steers her back to the command center. She laughs for him, this might go smoother than she's hoping if Reno's going to be so relaxed. Means Rude isn't too guarded either.

Hopefully, Elena's too bright eyed and new to notice anything odd.

Reno brings her into the same briefing room they were in all day, she can't stop the whine, "no, Reno, this is cruel, I hate this room already." she says, maybe she can get out of it.

Make Rude and Reno be stuck for more long hours at a time.

Kunsel's in the back, perks up when he sees her, gets a glint in his eye, and pats her shoulder. And then just darts out the door, muttering about security perimeters and checking with the foot soldiers and their rotations.

She feels betrayed. Annoyed and then glad he doesn't have to linger in on debriefings and schedules.

He could use security to their advantage, change the times of the guards, maybe clear some of the workers off the ship. This may be better, coming in with the Turks. An easier way to create distractions, she's just got to find Zack and the Avalanche members before any of her Turks do.They don’t know Rufus sent his Turks in for added security. Even if there are less guards and trooper traffic at night, it’s still more of a fight with them there.

She hates thinking it, as much as she likes to rag on Reno, but at least he’s still pretty beat up. Healing slowly, Rude had mentioned. She wonders why, it’s unusual for Reno, he bounces back so fast. Good for Avalanche, Rude will be more attentive to Reno this way, more distracted. With luck, she'll be able to keep both sides safe. A lot of luck.

Lucky her, it's just a short message from Tseng. She only has to sit next to Elena and listen to Rude and Reno bicker over Tseng's orders for an hour.

After that, they spend most of the day checking rounds around the port, maintenance on the main port gun is underway. A plus for Avalanche, it’s inactive and won’t work properly for another week or two. Puts her mind a bit more at ease, she didn’t want to see the airship get shot down.

The ship is progressing along nicely, they get a very nervous rundown of all the things going wrong from one of the engineers, it’s basically small, everyday issues. There's no need for all the twitching. Crinkles her brows and starts taking notice of everyone's behavior better. Other than small hiccups, the ship runs no problem, that’s what Rufus cares most about. Cissnei’s pretty sure Rude would have told him everything is going smooth anyway, he zones out much too hard to have understood the stuttering pointed at him.

It’s not until the sun starts moving low in the sky that she gets a chance to separate from her team. She bee lines it to the security room, knowing Kunsel will be in there. It’s up on the main gun control center, built into the cliff the port is carved out from.

The moment she enters, Kunsel nods, taps the shoulder of the only trooper in there, “check the eastern gate, looks to be a system break in the locks.”

There’s not, but the trooper goes anyway, his salute is shaky. Makes Cissnei worry, what is Scarlet doing to the troopers stationed here. She gets the Turks coming in can be odd and usually means something suspicious is happening, but there are too many jumps and too many nervous glances. She swears, one of the guards at the front gates to the gun flinched when she brushed by too close.

That’s one bullet they managed to dodge, Scarlet isn't due back to Junon for a few more weeks, ShinRa’s weapon director is bogged down at HQ with new prototype show-casings.

“How badly are we set back?” She asks him the second the door closes.

Kunsel shrugs, “No idea, you think anyone got word to them?” His bottom lip is all red and bitten, he’s worried.

They must think they’ve sided with ShinRa…she hopes Zack has enough confidence in at least one of them.

“I hope so.”

He sighs, clicks through all the cameras, too fast for her to really see, but his SOLDIER training must let him take it all in fast. She does take note of all her Turk companions. Elena is up on the flight deck of the HIGHWIND, a few of the 3rd class SOLDIERS with her, Rude’s lingering around the chopper pad to the west of the port. She can’t see Reno, but the way he was holding his side, he’s probably sitting pretty in the helicopter they came in. That’s not good, even injured, Reno’s a good shot.

“So what’s the plan here, Kunsel, are we-”

He tenses, clicks back a few camera screens, “-too late, it’s go time.” Sun’s low in the sky, light fading fast and on one of the screens, Jessie and Biggs are slinking through the east gate; she winces as they take down the trooper Kunsel had sent over to check on the security system.

“Oops,” Kunsel says, “hope they didn’t hurt the poor guy too bad.”

He doesn’t look dead at least. They watch Biggs drag him into the shadows and gently place him along the wall.

Cissnei snorts, “gentle terrorists.”

Kunsel laughs and they watch Wedge and Cloud slip on through the cut out wired fence.

“Where’s Zack?” It’s hard to get a read on all the camera screens and feeds, so many of them along the large wall.

Again, Kunsel’s got no problem flipping through and picking out details, he’s quick, even for a SOLDIER. He would have been amazing as an agent for the Turks.

“Here, top left camera, on the outer perimeter.”

She doesn’t see Zack. It’s the only camera facing the land inward, perched high on the small staircase entrance that descends into the main command area of the port. All she sees are trees and shrubbery.

“Kunsel I don’t-”

“-There, _see_.” He says, shifts the camera a little more.

Very faintly, in the far corner of the screen, in the shadows of the bushes, she sees it. Movement and then, two very small glowy spots. Zack’s eyes, shit, that’s _impressive_. Kunsel spotted his glowy mako eyes on the shitty resolution security cameras, at dusk, in less than a few seconds.

It’s also the west entrance to the compound, where Rude is hanging around.

“Kunsel, you get to the airship, try to clear some of the way, I’ll go distract Rude and Reno. They won’t make it passed them if Zack’s coming in with a unit.”

Kunsel nods, types in a few commands on the keyboard, and brings up the main system control. She’s not sure what he does, types in a few codes, but nothing happens immediately.

“Count down, this place is going into lockdown, no one in or out. It’ll shut down all the systems in ten minutes, so Scarlet can’t get alerted.”

Smart, they don't need ShinRa sending more troopers in, could turn ugly fast, this close to Midgar. Interesting how he’s got codes that high up to trigger it. She has a feeling he got them all on his own, no help from other Avalanche moles in the company. Such a waste, got a better mind for the Turks. She wonders how he got recruited for SOLDIER instead.

They linger for just a moment. His navy eyes are hard, the mako faintly blue around his pupils.

“I’m not coming back,” Kunsel says.

She knows. The moment Kunsel stepped into that tiny little command building at the Wutai base. His whole body going stiff with shock and excitement at seeing Zack, alive and all puppy -eyed at him. She’s surprised he came back at all.

Kunsel knocks the door handle hard, bends it so it can’t be opened from the outside. So his work can’t be undone, at least not through the security room.

They split up with one last lingering gaze.

She bolts down the hallways and out onto the long loading dock. Doesn't bother slowing up around guards. If anything, her rushing will distract them.

She’ll have to divert Rude and Reno quickly, needing to board the HIGHWIND and meet up with Cloud as soon as possible.

***

Zack doesn’t like this. All his nerves he’s supposed to be ignoring are over flowing and bringing a dark ball of dread.

They’ve had no word from the Wutai base or HQ about Cissnei and Kunsel.The scouts had come back more than frazzled, reporting something odd was happening at the port. An unscheduled helicopter had flown in and most of the troopers looked to be on edge. More guards than normal too. Changes in missions are near impossible to avoid, ones that are this lacking in layout and planning. Zack’s been through enough of them in the war, but he’s always had Angeal in his ear with warnings or instructions.

Now, he’s the one making all the decisions. The last time that happened…

Fucking Sephiroth went insane and he and Cloud went swimming in mako for four years. Seems everything keeps linking back to Nibelheim...somehow.

It’s not the first time and he knows it's not the last, that he feels this overwhelming disappointment. Can’t help thinking its Angeal looking down at him with it.

Coming upon the end of an hour, they finally make it to the cliff side that hugs and protects Junon. The tree line is thicker than at their camp and over grown with bushes and shrubs. Slowly fades out to the edge of the rock. Good cover from any cameras sneakily placed around.

The sun is low in the sky, long shadows behind them and orange rays fanning out past all the trees. He’d like to enjoy a sunset for once, really enjoy it, just him and Cloud. He’s an easy line of comfort, walking in front of Zack. Watches his fusion sword catch the sunlight and reflect into his golden hair. If Zack pokes at their connection with a fast jab of affection, Cloud will turn half way and flash his pretty eyes at him. Gets him through all the thoughts he can’t stop, rolling more and more as they come upon the port.

Cloud’s small team is leading the hike, Jessie an ever ball of energy at the very front. Biggs keeping her more on track with his over worrying, a contrast to her lax outlook and Wedge, stubbornly trying to pull Cloud into conversation the whole way. If it wasn't for the peaceful forest and the dull footsteps of Avalanche members behind them, almost feels like being back at seventh heaven. He longs for it, suddenly, the (ironically) simpler ease of watching after Cloud and random merc jobs. Quickens his pace, closer to the comfort of their small group. Zack should probably linger with the unit he’s supposed to be directing, but he needs all the comforts he can find to slow the looping in his mind.

Barret and the rest of their rag-tag team is back with them. Just out of earshot unless they shout and they are coming out of the forest anyway.

Zack stares after Cloud, takes in the curves of his shoulders, and the tapering of his waist.

He should told him he loved him. He doesn’t care if it feels dramatic, or maybe desperate. Zack’s had too many friends and loved ones lost to ShinRa. Too many should have's.

Jessie waves them over and down into a large grouping of bushes. There are two main paths into the port, the west stairwell that leads down into the main command center and the eastern gate loops down the cliff side and spits out by the loading docks. It’s closer to the HIGHWIND, making it easier for a small team to sneak aboard that way. This is where Cloud splits off from him.

Cid suggested their initial plan, going for the bottom loading entryways; take the ship from the bottom and from the top. Send in a small break away team to clear the two middle levels. Zack likes it better than trying to open too small of emergency ports dead center of the ship. Even if Jessie seemed more comfortable with it, pushed for less fighting too. Zack's lucky he had Tifa and Cloud agree with him, pushed the vote to their first plan. He rather tap out more people than risk getting his own team trapped.

They huddle together in the brushes and wait for the rest of their people to show up. His unit is smaller than he thought. Only ten extra people, Zack wishes one of them was Kunsel. Cloud’s right, of course, no way would Kunsel turn on them. He feels bad he even thought it. Even worse thinking that he’d doubted him and ShinRa may have caught him sneaking around. He hopes not, fuck, he _really_ hopes not. Kunsel’s SOLDIER status…they’d give him to Hojo for experimentation before wasting him away in prison.

“Hey,” Cloud kneels closer to him, their thighs touch, and Zack can smell the campfire smoke still in his hair, “stop, we’ve got this.”

Like always, his perfect Cloudy-Sky’s got no trouble easing him back into a more manageable state, at the very least. Still has small nerves tingling in his arms. Probably cause the last major fight they went running into killed thousands of people and ended up with them in Hojo’s clutches. Zack takes a deep breath, lets it hang in his lungs, and exhales nice and slow. It'll be fine, it's not the same.

Cloud inhales next to him, starts like he’s going to speak. Glances over at their Avalanche trio and bites at his lip. When his eyes meet Zack’s again, a gentle determination is shinny at him. Cloud swallows thickly and press in for a fast chaste kiss, pulls back just enough to stare into his eyes, inhale staggering again.

“I love you.” Half way broken words and he’s shyly fluttering his lashes right after.

Stops Zack’s heart and all his nervous and just lets him zero in on Cloud. Said without a push in their connection or the afterglow of intense sex.

Yeah. He’s right, they’ve got this. It’s all Zack needs anymore, Cloud’s never wavering affection.

The rest of their group has caught up, everyone on top of each other, and kneeling in the shrubbery. Cloud’s still feeling shy; he wouldn’t have glanced over at Jessie before giving Zack that fucking perfect encouragement otherwise.

But, Zack doesn’t care.

_‘He always chooses you.’_

Zack surges forward, a hard kiss against Cloud, draws a small noise of surprise from him. Hears quiet snickers from a few behind him.

“Love you too, Beautiful.” No whispers, strong and clear, so Cloud can get that overwhelming wave of it through their link too.

Expects him to shy away some more, but so fucking _lucky_ , he is. Bright eyes and that smile he saves for early hours. It's three AM somewhere.

“Let’s go get some payback.”

This time, they'll win.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh, so sorry for the cliff hanger! (but not that sorry) I've got most of it written already, so let's aim for the weekend yes? 
> 
> I'm gunna go die for a third week in a row, too sweet you guysss. I love it! There must be another way to say how great everyone is. lol Someone teach me other ways. 
> 
> How's everyone feel about this turning into a thirty chapter fic. XD I've written 450 pages you guys, why are these boys just so fun to write about. 
> 
> See ya next time! (hopefully Sunday, maybe I won't draw this weekend instead. HA)


	18. Let's Shout it Loud and Clear Defiant to The End, We Hear the Call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> HIGHWIND

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's fucking goooooooo
> 
> Hey guys! Sorry for that cliff hanger, here's some action for ya. 
> 
> Happy Reading!

A soft whistle alerts him, draws him from around the corner, and waves at Wedge to follow behind him. Jessie is pulling open the wire fencing for him and Wedge to slip through. Cloud has to dip down a bit more so his fusion sword doesn’t get caught.

Junon…a small town just north of the port, an unknown town. ShinRa speaks of Junon as if it’s just a weapons base and supply train. Just the sea harbor and less of the supplies all the time. Cloud can’t imagine how little the port brings in now. Even when he was a cadet, this place was known for one thing. Weapons. The massive canon gun installed years and years ago, a force to scare Wutai into pushing its borders back, threaten any forces that come Midgar’s way. He’s been here once before, with Zack and Sephiroth, shipped out back home. Back to Nibelheim.

If he stares hard enough across the ocean, can picture the Nibel Mountain range and the fields full of wildflowers in the valley. Calls out to him in the breeze picking up off the water. Almost a whispering in his ears, almost a tangible voice. Zeros his focus in, rushes the blood in his head and the air in his lungs.

“Cloud,” Wedge hisses at him, he’s across the long loading walkway that separates the command center built into the cliff and the docks. All three of them are huddled in the shadows, looking back and forth frantically for any guards.

There _should_ be more guards. It’s weird.

Jessie and Wedge’s quick waves beckoning him across. He strolls over to them, the sun is near down and it’s a ghost town all of a sudden. He doesn't need to waste energy sneaking about.

“Oh god, could you go slower?” Jessie hisses at him once he’s in the shadows of the long bridge overhead. Connects the canon to the cliffs behind them.

“There’s no one around,” he doesn’t bother crouching down to their level. Scopes out all the doorways around them.

The one above them, on the bridge, the lock light overhead switches to red as Cloud’s staring at it. Normally access to the canon is only restricted in a lock-down. There’s no alarms or rushing ShinRa troops. So...

Weird. A silent locking trip? Whoever did it, needs codes pretty high up.

The doorway they are hovering outside of goes under the canon and down into the dock's main loading area. Inside, it spans out bridges to the rest of the docks, a hub for all the docking in the port. They can get to the airship from there. Also bound to be quite a few people (depending on how many ships are in port), workers, and troopers. Since it’s just the start of the night shift, hopefully, fewer workers.

“What’s wrong, pretty eyes, looking real hard over there,” Jessie asks, she’s drawing her freshly, new equipped pistol, peeking into the doorway.

Besides the locking engaging, nothing. He hums at her, it’s probably not important to mention, doesn't affect them anyway. They don't need to get to the canon.

“Nothing, lets get to it.” Draws his fusion sword, “you first."

She smirks, bounces on through without a missed beat. Cloud follows her in, checking the sides and sliding up next to her on the short walkway to the staircase leading down onto the docks. It’s not a room really, open-ended at the far end, so ships can pull right in from the water. Massive and high, high ceilings with bridges connected to each dock that spans outside. The ocean is lapping calming at the indoor docks, only one ship is pulled in, on the far left.

Wedge is leaning over the rail, Biggs following up behind them and keeps a lookout at the doorway for anyone coming.

“That’s a long drop,” Wedge says, the waterways run all the way up to the walkway.

“Everyone know how to swim?” Jessie asks, she stands and heads for the staircase, “HIGHWIND is docked at the upper, outside slot. A3 right?”

“Right,” Biggs echoes.

They need to get up on those bridges then, “left Jessie,” Cloud calls as quietly as he can. They’ve been lucky so far, not running into anyone, but Cloud can see small figures moving around at the one dock with a ship. Lucky too, they don’t have to go that way.

They shuffle down the stairs and move as fast and as quietly as possible down the walkway to the far left wall. Entrance to the ceiling bridges, on the left, outside docking A1-B1, the right side B2-C1.

It’s a lot of stairs to climb and he hears Jessie groaning instantly,

“Ugh, always with the stairs, why does ShinRa like everything to be so tall.”

He chuckles more to himself, not really sure why she’s so aggressively against stairs.

When they get up top, he halts her and takes lead. Guards will be posted on the entrances to the outside docks. They have to sneak in through the back of the airship, but also clear a path for Zack and the others to come up from the outside stairs. It's the only way to the flight deck without fighting up from the inside of the ship.

Cloud lingers only for a moment, leads with his sword and tenses for a fight. Slides out fast, heart-pounding, ready to strike.

No one…except, he frowns, halfway down. A body.

_Weird._

He tisks at the three behind him to follow out. They all move down the bridge and stare down at the body, a trooper.

“Ouch,” Wedge says, “looks kind deep there.” a slash across his back, but it’s not as deep as Wedge thinks. The blood is thickening and slowing already.

Not dead then. A precise attack, enough to halt, to stun and-there it is, the large bruise blossoming on the back of the trooper's neck. That is the knockout hit, not the blade cut.

“Someone knows what they are doing,” Biggs says for him.

Not only that, a cut that clean, a SOLDIER'S blade. Gets his heart pounding. They had no word but…

Kunsel.

Has to be, Zack's coming around the other side, he's not even supposed to stick his head to the inside docks. They move ahead, back out into the chilly night air, and are dwarfed by the massiveness of the HIGHWIND. Biggs whistles with admiration.

“Bigger up close.”

It is, Cloud doesn’t see how they can run it without more people. Just someone stationed in the engine room and at the flight deck. Seems impossible.

A very narrow path leads along the canon wall, out to the dock that's wrapped halfway around the HIGHWIND. Lucky again, seems no one is wandering around on the outside of the ship. He can't see any moving bodies. Still, ones litter the tight path as they go, more cuts from a SOLDIER’S touch.

“Someone’s doing our job for us,” Jessie says, has to skip over a rather large down trooper, “think it’s our friendly informants?”

It better be, Zack’s near panic attack still flutters in their connection. Wavering back and forth between worry for his missing friends and worry that they betrayed them. He tries not to get pulled in to the ebbing flow of pulses from him. Combating it with his calm ones, hoping it helps.

Cloud’s nervous, but he’s nowhere near the level of anxiety Zack’s looping around in his mind. It’s surprising, the panic. It's out of character for him, the looping not so much. Just the two of it together is slowly building a headache behind Cloud's eyes. Is it because it’s Kunsel and Cissnei?

Zack’s…they’ve both found friends here, with their little group. Besides Aerith, Cloud’s noticed that for once, probably the first time ever, Zack’s the one on the outside a bit more. Jessie, Biggs, and Wedge all attached themselves to Cloud quickly, loudly, and stubbornly. Tifa’s been drifting in and out of his entire life since he was born. Even Barret is a bit warmer towards him. He feels comfortable with all five of them (Tifa the most), almost as much as he does with Zack.

Zack’s close friends, they’re all rooted in ShinRa…all either dead or now an enemy.

Except for Kunsel and Cissnei.

Cloud tries to send him another wave of affection, hoping it comes across sincere and helps him.

At the end of the path, they have to go down yet another set of stairs. The HIGHWIND blocks all light from the stars and the moon, casting them in near darkness this close. Cloud's mako eyes adjust fast, but hearing Wedge grunt and Jessie hiss right after tells him the three behind him can't see shit. He quickens a bit, stays a few more steps in front. He'd rather not get trotted on.

At the corner of the dock, they’ve finally hit a snag in their luck, the loading entryways are all locked uptight.

“Shit,” Jessie kicks at the metal, “looks like we gotta go through those emergency exits.”

Cloud shakes his head, there’s no time. They could chance the flight deck. It’s risky, despite the still bodies down here; Cloud can hear voices and lots of movement on the airship. Large amounts of fighting are supposed to be saved for Zack and his unit. Cloud’s the only real fighter among the four of them.

One man army, all that mako burning in his veins. Zack is going to hate it. Make him worry some more.

Doubling back the way they came, a loud bang interrupts them and a person just comes flying down in front of them, nearly lands on Wedge and has all of them jumping back. At least Cloud didn’t scream like the other three jittery-jitters. He eyes them, even though they are all staring down at the body with comical horror on their faces. Judges them _just_ a little bit.

“Sh-h, you forget we’re trying _not_ to draw attention to us.” He hisses at them, leans over the body, not dead. Just out cold. That fall…somewhere off the ship, pretty high. Broken bones for sure.

He looks up, jerks back yet again; with a welcome surprise this time.

Fucking _Kunsel_ is waving down at him, leaning out a side opening on the second floor, one of the emergency exits.

Jessie laughs hops on over and against Cloud, “oh fuck yes,” she waves back up at Kunsel, jostling Cloud.

He sighs, why all the leaning? Constant, she’s as bad as Zack.

Kunsel is tossing a sturdy rope ladder down to them, yanks on it, and disappears from view. Cloud follows them up last, keeping an eye out for wandering troopers. With all that screaming, someone will show eventually. No way were they unheard.

“Hey Chocobo-”

-Cloud glares at the hand helping pull him into the airship-

“-saw you floundering down there from the top deck.”

Awesome, just, “Don’t call me that.”

Jessie snorts ,and all four of them are smiling widely at him.

“I think Cloud means, thanks for the help,” Jessie says, leans on Kunsel’s shoulder in greeting. Looks uncomfortable, Kunsel’s just barely an inch short than Zack.

He laughs smoothly for her, navy eyes glowing a lighter shade in the dark.

“Don’t worry, beautiful,” Kunsel says to her; Cloud tries not to think of Zack calling him that. Weird to hear it directed at someone else, from a different voice, “I’m immune to Strife’s…well, everything actually.”

Ye-p, that’s the Kunsel he remembers. Constantly ragging on him for being socially stunted. Relentless around Zack too. Brings an uncomfortable ghost feeling of flustered from the past. He used to tease Cloud so _much_ around Zack, he'd barely get a word in when it was the three of them going for dinner.

Jessie laughs delightedly at the nickname, seems to not notice Biggs’s narrowing eyes. Instantly gets her sparkling flirty eyes and walks her fingers down Kunsel’s shoulder as she pulls away from him.

“Wanna tell us the layout of this monster?” She asks, “Mr. SOLDIER.”

He snorts, reaches around behind Cloud, pulls the latch shut. It's a tight fit inside the airship.

“Sorry, don’t know. You’re lucky I came across the emergency exit. Was on my way back up to meet Zack.”

Cloud ignores his heart thump. Embarrassingly, gets stupid butterflies just from hearing someone say Zack’s name.

“You clear that way for us then?”

Kunsel smirks, flirty and sharp, nods his head at Cloud, “Sure did.”

Weird, this whole day is _weird._ Cloud’s not used to noticing other people besides Zack being flirty.

It’s just Kunsel though, yet another thing he has in common with Zack. Outside his platoon, Cloud’s really starting to notice how similar they are.

“Zack’s on his way up then?”

Kunsel nods, “yeah, saw them crossing the loading walkway a few minutes ago. Gotta go make sure that the staircase is still empty.”

They all nod at him.

“Watch your backs, Turks are here.”

Cloud’s arms twitch, feels like little shocks all over him, ghosts from a zapping weapon. He wouldn’t mind finishing off Reno. Must show on his face.

“Damn, pretty eyes,” Jessie taps him, “ease up, let’s not go looking for a fight.”

They dropped the plate, put him and Zack back in Hojo’s clutches. Cloud _wants_ that fight. It’s a wound they all haven’t had a chance to heal from. Too deep and raw. Everyone’s just been ignoring it, looks away when someone mentions it on accident.

“They dropped the plate, Jessie.”

Yeah, she goes all still and sad, “I know but we gotta do this first.”

“They probably didn’t have a choice,” Kunsel says, too casually, too uncaring.

Cloud feels a rage burn into him, tenses his jaw, and narrows his eyes. Easy for him to say when he’s on the winning end of mass genocide.

“You always have a choice,” when it comes to that kind of shit. He shouldn’t but, can’t stop himself. Shoulder bumps Kunsel _hard_ as he walks past, he stumbles a step and winces after him.

“Cloud!” Jessie calls after him.

He’s gotta walk away. Breathe through the rage. Shit like that…it’s how Zack and he ended up how they are. Someone could have said no, could have stopped Hojo. But that’s not the ShinRa way.

He’s madder that one time in his life he was that way too.

Fuck, even Zack was.

He should apologize but… when this is over if Kunsel’s sore about it.

Jessie and the others are following him with worried looks and short eye conversations between themselves.

“Okay, stop, I’m fine.” He says after the third knowing look they pass around.

One more intense silent conversation. Cloud rolls his eyes, looks around, just realizing he walked off in a place he knows nothing about or where anything is.

“Huh,” he says, stopping.

Wedge laughs, “come on, bro, this way. Kunsel mentioned about just heading toward the back. You’re going to the front.” He points out the arrows spaced out on the walls, bow, and stern labeled over them.

He lets Jessie grab his arm and pull him back a ways and down a doorway, he had passed.

“Don’t pout, he’s not mad.”

Cloud doesn’t care if Kunsel is mad at him.

“I don’t care.” He says. Maybe he kinda does at the same time.

Biggs pats his shoulder.

The airship is massive, lots of turns and hallways that all look the same. The only helpful thing is the labeling on the walls seems pretty thought out. Would be nicer if they had a map, but they are just going on what Jessie’s got stored away in her brain from Cid’s schematics.

The ship’s not finished, looks like it from the outside, but there’s no power in the bulbs above their heads, and the farther they get to the stern, the more wires, and electric panels are left open and sparking. They walk forever in a maze of tight hallways and short staircases, so long that when a muffled explosion shakes the airship, it’s startling in their quiet wandering.

Came from above them, more too, now that one has happened. Straining his ears, Cloud can barely hear shouts and gunfire.

Zack’s on aboard then.

“We better pick up the pace,” he tells the three pairs of eyes waiting on him. Weird too, how they look to him.

The dark hallway they’ve been walking down for a while spits out into a larger circular room. Lots of computers and screens glowing at them. A large round table is in the center of the room, countertops laced with their own screens. In the center of the table, a hologram projector, small and hidden in the dipped out circle.

“Woah, intense, information hub?” Jessie’s already poking around, "operations room?"

Even if it is, seems to only have remote, backup power to the room. Half the computers aren’t working and nearly all the screens are flickering creepily at them.

“Wouldn’t hurt to try for a map,” Biggs says.

Again, with the looking, all three of them.

“Sure,” Cloud says.

They go back to their poking and Cloud stands and listens to the gunfire above them. Seems to be getting louder. Tries to discreetly see into his mind link. Zack feels…safe enough. Focused, Cloud gets flashes of tense muscles and mana pulling. Hears his buster clanking, echoes in his ears until Wedge is calling for him.

They found an updated schematics file, it’s projected up and out from the hologram. Circles their location in red and blinks at them. Jessie is humming and types something into one of the counter screens. The red circle flickers, moves down to the very back of the ship, still a bit of a way from them. That little red circle feels mocking.

“Kay, looks like the engine room is all the way in the back.” She presses another button, “we can go this way, seems the shortest.” A red line draws from their location to the engine room.

“Also looks like a few security locks we have to get through.”

Shit, that’s right. They needed Cissnei for that to go fast and smooth.

As if just thinking about her summoned her to them, they hear a soft female voice coming from the hallway across the room. They could just turn around and book it outta there, but that makes too much noise and there’s nowhere to hide anyway. Close quarters.

Cloud draws his fusion sword and steps closest to the doorway.

Cissnei walks right in, stops short with wide eyes. Not expecting them. He’d drop his guard, but there’s a short blonde woman right behind her, fitted black suit and sharp haircut.

Another Turk.

So…did Cissnei choose her Turks after all? Just Kunsel running around and helping them?

The air gets thick and tense and Cloud can’t just linger and have a staredown forever. Cissnei seems frozen, she trying to tell him something or is she trying to decide to attack or not.

Doesn't really matter, he can’t let her get the jump on him, and the shorter blonde next to her is already reaching for the weapon on her.

Cloud jumps. Goes for the blonde first, he can knock out Cissnei easily with a counter move. Only good thing about rooms and hallways this small, easy to plan out attacks.

The blonde goes down easy, one hit, doesn’t even really need to use his blade. Just kinda bashes her with the dull edge near the handle. Hm, must be new. Way too easy. He shrugs a little to himself and turns his blade on Cissnei.

“Wait! Cloud, wait,” she’s shooting her hands up and backs up a step. That won’t get her out of his range at all, “I’m still on your side.”

Right, with a Turk hanging around with her, “Sure.” He says, keeps his blade pointed at her and slides over a step, blocks her escape.

Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Wedge block the hallway they came down. Good. She is trapped in here with them.

“I’m serious,” she is, face set and stern, “I came here with the Turks, Kunsel and I. I didn’t have a choice.”

Oh, the irony, hits him pretty low in the stomach. Echoing his own words at him.

Should he believe her? Can tell his Avalanche trio do, are all for trusting her. They do need her help, go faster. So he can get up on the flight deck and help Zack in the fighting. Feels three pairs of eyes boring into his back.

Shit. They wait for his call. _Again._

Cloud tsks, lowers his blade and straights out of his stance, “I’ll tell Zack on you if you’re not.” He jokes flatly.

Her body relaxes with relief, giggles at him once, “tattle-tell, mm?” She smiles, “I can work with that. You meet Kunsel? He should be around here somewhere.”

All the tension leaves the air. Jessie’s back and punching something into the hologram.

“Yeah, ways back, he’s helping Zack,” Biggs says, he and Jessie seem to be looking for something in the database.

The hologram goes static-y and blinks red, shuts down.

“Dang,” Jessie says, “So close.”

Cloud doesn’t even get a chance to ask what they were looking for.

“You can’t hack into ShinRa’s system through a silly hologram program it's not connected to the main server,” Cissnei says, she’s kneeling to the blonde Turk, pressing two fingers to her neck.

Cloud snorts, “I didn’t kill her.”

“Took her out pretty hard-”

-No, he didn’t-

“-It’s alright, I had to lose her somehow. Poor Elena. Just joined too, this is her first mission.”

Cloud doesn’t care. He doesn’t care about the Turks or anything ShinRa.

“Let’s _go,_ ” He’s losing patience. He can feel Zack getting tired in his mind, “we’re running out of time.”

At least it’s almost a straight shot to the engine room and Cissnei will be able to use her clearance codes no problem. If the Turks were sent here, then someone at ShinRa knows something odd is going on. The faster they get this thing moving the better.

***

It’s easy, getting to the HIGHWIND, way too easy. Running around with this large of a group, troopers should be stopping them at every turn. But it was no problem running down the entrance stairwell, through the command center and out onto the loading strip.

They left five of their unit at random spots to keep an eye out for incoming backup. Zack gave them all a time limit, two hours. Two hours and they need to get back to camp or the HIGHWIND.

He’s itching for a fight, needs to expel some energy. All this ease is making him worry about Cloud. He seems okay, that he can tell through their connection. Randomly sends him a wave of affection. So sweet, but it’s also worrying. Cause he’s in danger? Or just cause?

Zack takes in a long breath. He has been projecting anxiety still. Maybe Cloud’s trying to soothe him then.

He can't handle how much he loves him, is always smacking him right in the face.

The stairway up to the HIGHWIND is long and meets with half walkways that wrap around the airship, for easier access to the decks. They want the top though, so all the way they have to go. Tifa and Aerith are groaning loudly, breaking out in laughs every so often over it.

Zack doesn’t get it, it’s just stairs.

The higher they get, the light breeze down on the ground is stronger and stronger. They are on the far side of the airship, with no protection from the elements. They are lucky it is clear skies. He glances back at everyone anyone. Seem okay, Barret's looking a bit green, staring down at the height they are at. The other five Avalanche members are fine, a little slower than them, but it's expecting. Not everyone is a trained fighter. His two girls are still giggling at each other and breathing heavily.

They hear a chorus of screams on the other side of the ship about halfway. Makes them all stop, Zack’s heart is pounding, Red has to jump up onto one of the walkways and out of Barret’s fumble backward.

“Sounded like Jessie and the guys,” Aerith says. They all wait a beat and then another.

No more screams.

“Cloud’s with them, they’re fine,” Tifa says. That’s for Barret’s benefit, not Zack’s.

Aerith laughs through her hand, “sounded surprised anyway, not like they were in pain.”

That’s not any better. They are _supposed_ to be the stealth part of this mission, can't be running around screaming like that.

“Let’s just keep moving, yeah?” Zack sighs and starts up the rest of the way.

He draws his buster just as he’s reaching the last few steps. He can hear people walking around on the deck, hopefully not workers. Zack doesn’t really want to attack them, even if they are ShinRa loyal, most of them are just looking to feed their families.

A trooper gets thrown down right at his feet as he steps down onto the top deck.

“O-h boy, A 1st class SOLDIER, my lucky day.”

Fucking _Kunsel_ , all smirks and black hair whisping out of his wolf’s tail. He’s pointing his sword at Zack, eyes glinting with excitement. He’s already been in a few fights. Looks a bit roughed up. All smiles, so he’s not hurt. Just glad for the help.

Damn, Zack can’t contain his excitement either, or his relief. Good to see those fucking sharp ass cheekbones pointing his way. Safe and away from ShinRa and Hojo. He's gotta crush him in a suffocating hug as soon as possible.

“Help a fellow SOLDIER out?” Kunsel’s already turning back to the troopers rushing behind him.

Cuts them down easily.

It’s nowhere near the end of them. Guards are rushing up from the lower decks and just as the rest of his unit finishes climbing the staircase, two 3rd class SOLDIERS jump on down from elevated flight area. There’s a massive turn wheel dead center and a fair bit of tech, Zack’s guessing that’s where Cid needs to be.

“Cid!” Zack shouts, feels the older man linger near him, “get up there and work your magic, just shout if the fights getting to close.”

“Don’t you fucking wreck my baby, I just got her back.”

Tifa laughs, already making sure Aerith is at a safe distance from the wave of troopers pooling out from below.

“Technically, you don’t have her yet.”

“I’m standing on her, she’s mine again, damnit.” Cid impressively knocks a few troopers out of his way.

That will be easier; he can fight, judging by his few hits and strong stance, at least as well as Tifa.

Awesome, Zack won’t have to worry so much.

“Tifa,” he says, slipping close to Kunsel, back to back. The two 3rd class are circling them, “take Red with you, clear out below and see if you can find Cloud.”

“Yes sir,” she gives him a shoulder punch on the way by, Red close on her heels.

“Barret,” Zack’s not sure he’ll take a command but, he’d rather not leave Cid so open up there on that deck alone, “Stick with Cid.”

“You got it, Mutt.” Waves the rest of their unit to follow him and fan out, take out as many troopers as they can get too.

Kunsel snorts, “Why’s everyone think we’re dogs, man.”

He glances at Aerith, she’s gripping her staff tightly and in a good spot, but he’s got no time to tell her to get on some higher ground. Those 3rd class are tired of playing the waiting game. At least it’s all glass-enclosed up here, she can easily make her way around the deck to join Barret and Cid, without worrying too much about above attacks. He hopes she keeps her back to that wall and goes around the perimeter.

Everything dissolves into a chaotic fight after that. Waves of guards and troopers flood up, only slowing after Tifa and Red have been down there for a good chunk of time. Three of their Avalanche members are killed within the first thirty minutes, another one injured bad. It's keeping Barret more distracted then Zack likes, leaves Cid open to defending himself more and less focused on starting up the HIGHWIND.

He jumps up to help as much as possible, cuts down a few troopers before his 3d SOLDIER relocates him and rushes. Easy enough to lose him in the craziness and the swarms of people. Zack pulls his mana in for his strength, needs to cut down as many troopers as he can. Keep them from being overwhelmed. All this extra cutting and dashing around is pulling the panic from him, easing his worries.

He can just focus on the weight of his buster, familiar, and right. Even with the crisis crossing of gunfire and the smoke getting thicker under the domed glass, he cuts through people quickly. Manages to stay hidden from his 3rd, long enough that the hunt turns around on him. Zack tracks him around the deck, he gets a little too close to Kunsel fighting his own. Zack huffs. Breathes in some ashes and lights up his fire materia. Sends short blasts and pins his 3rd back into a corner. Mana comes to him for a bit more of a boost, fills out his veins and muscles. One hard slash and his 3rd is down, knocks him easily off his feet.

Closes his eyes to right himself, still, the calm rage only fighting brings him. Exhales, to rid some of the ashes in his mouth. Zack pops his neck, feels his shoulders getting tenser and tenser. He'll have to get that knot out after this.

Looks around in the smoke and bright fiery shots of bullets. Barret's doing okay, smirks at all his shouting. Cid's good and protected, though, looks like they lost those last two Avalanche members.

A quiet grunt drifts to him from over all the noise. He's in tune with that voice, whips around, and finds him. Kunsel’s got a bit of trouble with his own 3rd class. Seems one of these guys is at a more advanced level. Maybe even close to promotion. They team up on him, skirting around the deck and jumping off poles and the glass walls. The 3rd weaves them around the troopers, gets them in the line of gunshots more than once.

Smart, playing the field on them. Too bad Zack’s almost got him pinned down. Didn’t pay attention to his second opponent enough. This SOLDIER must know Kunsel; he’s been mainly taking shots at him and tries to trap him more than Zack.

Zack gets him up against the staircase to the upper flight deck, hears Barret’s machine gun arm going through rounds faster than he can swing his buster.

This seems a bit overkill, must have alerted half the port to the ship by now. Rufus really wants this airship.

3rd class gives him an opening and Zack slides in, comes up behind him and pulls more of his mana, slashes right through the air, cutting hard and fast. The guys down with a loud groan, face plants into the blood splatter. Zack winces, too strong, he’s dead, wound he cut was too deep.

It’s not the first dead. Just...

Keeps feeling like war the more people die.

“Son-of-a-bitch,” sounds bad, but Cid’s all whooping and smiles when Zack glances back and up at him, “almost there!”

Must mean Cloud and the others reached the engine room. Under his feet, the floor starts to vibrate and lights come on all over the ship, brightening up from the dark. A gentle hum fills his ears.

He can’t believe it, they’re pulling it off. Hardly any troopers left, SOLDIERS out for the count.

Feels good, Zack can finally breathe better.

A louder hum joins the airships rumbling, too sharp and fast. He shouldn’t have relaxed-

A black ShinRa chopper comes hovering up from over the edge of the ship. With all the lights on now, they are easy targets in the dark. Everyone left is shouting all at once, Zack twists and ducks behind one of the pillars holding in some cables. He can see the left air propeller spinning fast from his spot. Gets faster by the second, the airship is warming up.

He glances out, winces as the chopper does another fly by, and slows down to hover menacingly at them. Zack sees a flash of red, fucking Reno. For some reason, he can't believe, even though that snarky bastards been dogging him since he's been outta mako tanks.

Turks. Shit, that means, Cissnei’s here too. He hopes she’s down with Cloud and not out on that chopper. Can't see her anywhere in it, just Rude's sunglasses glinting off the HIGHWIND's lights.

How the fuck does he even see at night with those on? Asshole, not even a SOLDIER can do that.

“Oh yeah, Hey, Zack. Man, I forgot to tell you-” Kunsel’s shouting, jumps to the side in a roll when the chopper shoots open a section of the glass dome over them.

“-There are Turks here?” Zack calls into the sudden wind noise, laughing even though it’s actually really shitty.

Kunsel laughs back sharp and smooth.

It’s terrible, when his laugh gets cut short and everything gets real slow.

Zack’s breath stops in his lungs.

Watches Kunsel drop to his knees as if a SLOW spell has come over them. Blood drips down from his mouth, holds his side, and collapses completely down-faced onto the deck.

_No._

Not after Zack thought he’d betrayed him, after he…no.

The chopper is making another round, Zack can hear the gun revving up for a second attack. There is shouting but Zack’s gotta get to Kunsel. Pulls some mana to his fingers and casts SHIELD over his still body.

Why didn’t he do that at the _start,_ instead of just jumping in and giving orders?

Fuck, he didn’t cast SHIELD on _anyone._

He _always_ does that. First thing, makes sure everyone’s starting out with protection.

It’s what he’s supposed to be good at.

Protecting. His vision starts to get blurry.

He rushes out to Kunsel, even with the chopper’s gun clicking, almost ready for its second round of bullets.

He hears Aerith screaming at him.

There’s a lot of blood, Kunsel’s chest is heaving, trouble breathing. Must be blood pooling in his lungs. Zack’s hands shake as he moves him, gets him up against his knee.

“F-fuck, I’m gonna k-kill R-Reno, he’s a shit s-shot. Gotta t-take me out slow, what an a-asshole."

Zack knows his laugh comes out more as a sob. This can't happen, it's Kunsel, he can't just _die_. Zack rests a shaky hand on the side of his shaved head, thumbs along the thick strains of hair at the shave line. The bullets are large, on the choppers, rips holes right through people. Kunsel’s torso is shredded; looks like three bullets grazed him, dug right through his side. Zack’s covered in his blood in seconds.

“Hey, Bud, maybe, shut the fuck up for a sec.” Zack barely gets out.

Kunsel laughs, chokes up some more blood, his teeth are coated red. He’s near the end of his mana, but enough maybe, to save him at least. Pulls for his HEALING materia, fingertips tingling and green light glowing. He keeps Kunsel still with his other arm, focuses on the worst spots on his torso.

Distantly, hears the chopper finally fill its machine gun. Zack chances a glance up, right into the cockpit.

Reno’s glaring so fiercely and angry, holding the trigger tight. Too close to them, Zack won’t be able to move in time. Not without that added glass for the bullets to get through first. He's looking down the barrel of the end.

Cloud…He’ll be alone again.

Zack flinches, curls down over Kunsel to protect him with his body.

The pain never comes.

Instead, everything starts to feel hot. A roaring of flames spins around him, pulls all the dryness from the air and burns, flecks of fire and embers, and wind fly around him. Taste of ashes in his mouth, but he’s not using his fire materia. The spell is just strong.

A massive tornado of fire rips up from the floor, spins around them in a protective wall, and in front of him, a slender shadow and a flowy pink summer dress.

Aerith.

The wind from the fire is picking up her braid and her dress, blowing around her in chaotic waves, angry waves.

Her anger.

She raises her staff up and slams it down onto the deck. The fire spins and spins, shakes around them, and then everything stills. With just a gentle, slow exhale from her, everything collapses back in. The fire all gathers and rushes up and out the broken dome. Surrounds the chopper and pushes it back.

Reno can’t see shit through that wall of flame, wastes a whole round of bullets on empty air.

The fire dissipates in the starry sky and they have a few moments before Rude can right the chopper and come back at them. The chill of the night flows back into the HIGHWIND.

Aerith’s spinning around and down to her knees, already pulling up a HEALING spell. Hovers her hands close and closes her eyes, pulls her mana quickly and strong. Zack watches as Kunsel’s wounds close up, skin stitching itself back together. He hopes he hasn’t lost enough blood for it to be too late.

“S-see,” Kunsel stirs, smirks up at him, reaches out and pats Zack’s neck, “t-told ya I was a shit healer.”

Zack’s laugh pushes over the edge into hysterical. Ignores the dumb tears in his eyes.

“I fucking hate you, man.” He says, heart still pounding.

Kunsel has said that, all the time. Ever since they got their first mako injections. Complained every time they sparred, that Zack never left with a bruise or a scratch. ‘Got the better enhancements, ya dumb puppy.’ Hears it in his head like Kunsel just said it to him.

“I forgot, you’re a crier,” Kunsel says, laughs weakly as Zack punches his shoulder and then rests his head on the spot.

“Hate you so much.”

They both end up laughing too watery. Until Zack’s heart comes back down to normal and Kunsel’s comes back up.

“Guys, Rude’s making another round, let’s move, okay?” Aerith’s hovering her hands around them both, encouraging them to get up and move.

Up by the controls, there’s more protection, the glass is thicker and more bands of metal on the dome. Kunsel can walk, but he’s wincing the whole way, so Zack helps him limp up the steps.

Barret’s rushing forward, arm aimed up at the chopper, “Okay there?” he asks, keeps one eye on the Turks hovering around them.

“Yeah for now.” Zack sets Kunsel down against the control panel, protected more in case Reno starts shooting up the glass again.

Cid’s rapidly turning systems on, he’s muttering and cursing.

“Problem?” Zack asks.

“Nah-she’s just a little slow. Looks like your blondie did damn good down there. Everything’s almost a green light.”

Zack reaches for Cloud, presses against their link. Feels faint, Zack frowns. Shouldn’t be like that, faint usually means Cloud’s hurt. He scowls even more and presses harder.

Cloud…come on…

Unexpectedly, Cissnei comes running out the staircase, bursts through the door from below. She’s dragging a small blonde woman with her, another Turk, from the suit. Going right for the chopper.

“Are you fucking kidding me.” Zack hisses, frozen again.

Kunsel looks up at him and grunts, twists with a wince.

There’s no time to stop her, she’s fast, even dragging someone with her. Reno’s lighting up the deck, just behind where she’s running. He’s protecting her. Zack’s heart thumps and he pushes for Cloud in his mind again. It’s still weak.

No, no, no.

Panic and rage come over him, watches paralyzed as Cissnei grabs at a rope ladder Rude’s tossing down from the helicopter.

She betrayed them.

She chose the Turks.

_Chose ShinRa._

“The fuck-” Kunsel grunts, his eyes blazing, he looks just as mad as Zack feels.

The HIGHWIND makes a loud rumble; the vibrating gets more intense on the deck, grows, and then fades into a soft soothing hum. The airship shifts, both the tall vertical propellers at full speed and it breaks away from the dock with a creaking.

Cid’s pulling her out smooth and fast, just as the chopper starts to pull up, Cissnei staring down at him with that girl under her arm, hair blowing wildly and swinging on the ladder.

She looks…concerned. Zack can see it from here, her worry.

Fucking, she has no right. She _chose_ ShinRa.

They lock eyes for one moment.

He tries for Cloud one more time. Nothing.

He bolts, rushes down into the stairwell, and runs with panic on his heels.

***

It takes a shorter amount of time than Cloud thought.

Cissnei is quick to input her clearance and helps them with a bit of hacking that Biggs gets stuck on. She doesn’t talk the whole time, not unless someone addresses her first. Harder for Cloud to get a read on her that way.

The last clearance into the engine room takes a long time to crack, too many codes and she has to hack into the mainframe to even unlock the door.

He snorts, “don’t have to do that every time do we?”

Cissnei’s laughter is soft and quiet, “No, just ShinRa firewalls. I’ve deactivated each one as we go.”

“Peachy,” Jessie says, pats her head like she’s a kitten and ducks into the engine room as the doors hiss and slides open.

It’s very cold, air conditioning blasting to keep tech from over-heating. It’s massive too, spans the length of the stern of the ship. Along the far wall, gears and tubes and wires and stuff Cloud knows nothing about.

Give him weapons and ShinRa military-grade robots, but engines, he’s got no idea. Could probably figure it out, but he’d need a few days, at the very least. ShinRa bots tend to be more computer and motherboard based.

This is an old fashioned-first reactor style-machinery.

“Anyone got any idea?” Biggs asks.

Wedge shrugs, “I call door watch.” And just goes and stands in the doorway, looking out into the hall.

Cloud’s snort is more of a chuckle, tries to hide it by turning his head. Can’t have Wedge thinking he’s funny _now._ Even if they are friends, after trying so hard not to be. He's gotta at least keep up appearances. It'll be an endless stream of 'aw, bro' if Wedge thinks Cloud laughs at his jokes.

Ugh. Friends, they're just as stupid as thinking too hard about Zack.

He blinks, Biggs and Jessie are smirking at him again.

“Hmm?”

“Any ideas, looks like ShinRa machinery.”

Technically, everything is ShinRa machinery. He tries not to roll his eyes at her.

“I dunno, it’s not bot tech.”

“o-h, so if we were stealing a killer robot from ShinRa, no problem.” Biggs is still smirking at him.

Yeah, exactly. He nods, keeps staring at all the gears and buttons like he’ll absorb info just from sight.

Biggs and Jessie snicker at him, move closer, and bump together. They glance at him with yet another smirk before poking at the engine.

Cloud’s not getting the joke here. Has a feeling they are just making fun of him for no reason. He tries not to flush and just…leans back against the wall and waits. Maybe he’ll rethink this friend thing.

He feels a heavy stare on him a few minutes of listening to Jessie and Biggs bicker about what to turn on first. Glances over at Cissnei.

She’s watching him with interest and doesn’t advert her gaze when he catches her. She doesn’t care.

Turks are so weird. 

“What?” He snips, she’s won’t stop staring at him.

“Nothing, just…can’t believe _you_ beat the shit out of Reno so bad.”

She doesn’t say the rest of that thought, doesn’t need too. It echoes in his head. Heard it all before, when he was a cadet, even now, follows him all the time. Not very intimidating. Usually, people mention his height for the reason, but he always hears the rest lingering in the air. Just-him. He guesses. Cloud’s never focused on his looks. He’s just, how he looks, blonde, blue eyes and fair. The only thing that sticks out about himself is that he looks like his Mother. Used to hear it all the time as a kid, from the few adults that weren’t cold toward him. Now it just makes it hard to look in the mirror.

Zack tells him all the time, he’s beautiful. But that’s Zack. Gets called a pretty boy a lot, usually from snippy guys, but all the girls in his life seem to constantly use it as an endearment. He thought the mako would help it, but he’s never really buffed up like Zack. He’s all lean muscle and somehow has gotten an even smaller waist than before.

He huffs at her, maybe he should give her a run by on how he did ‘beat the shit’ out of Reno.

Instead, he goes for cold, “Can’t believe _you_ dropped a plate on tens of thousands of people.”

He’ll bring it up, as much as he needs too. He’s tired of all of it. Tired of ShinRa winning and more importantly, tired of acting like he doesn’t care.

Someone’s got to care about all those people. Even if he can only do it snipping and cold-shouldered. It’s better than ignoring it.

Cissnei visibly flinches with her whole body, sad look intense in her eyes, Cloud almost feels bad.

Almost.

“Trust me…I can’t believe it either.”

“You didn’t know.”

She sighs, watches Jessie press a button that does absolutely nothing. Huffs at it like it's slapped her.

“Even if I had, there wasn’t anything I could do to stop it.”

Biggs goes very still, can’t bring himself to look at her. Cloud sees his hands shake.

“You could have tried.” He says to the metal and copper in front of him.

She shrugs, not coldly, just indifferent. Complacent. Just how ShinRa wants you to be. Feel enough to get some hope and then do nothing about it, just let it fester into fear.

“You learn quickly, with ShinRa, what you can and can’t win.”

Hits him hard, feels like someone stomped on his chest. An understatement. He hates it. Because it’s true.

He’ll still fight, even if he can’t win anymore. He’ll still fight ShinRa, Sephiroth. Ugh, shakes his head, can’t stop thinking about his Mother now and fire.

Biggs grows even tenser, looks up from whatever Jessie is doing to the engine.

“Then why are you here?” Biggs asks.

For Zack.

That’s why, same as Kunsel. It’s hard not to see it. Must be pretty insulting for his Avalanche friends, some hotshot Turk is only helping because a deserting ex- SOLDIER has caught her eye. One thing he’s learned about these three, they care too much. They all have their reasons for joining, but for staying, they really do believe in saving the planet, saving people.

Just hurts more, when they lose. Cloud's frown deepens, tries to push away the protectiveness in his chest.

Play nice. For Zack, even if she is irritating his friends. Still is hard to believe that too, ending up with friends. Ugh, he needs to go hide in Zack’s shoulder.

Cissnei’s still quiet, but she’s not wavering under Biggs’s harsh glare. Looks out of place on his handsome face, normally he is all soft smiles and warm eyes.

“Guess I’m tired of being told what I can win after all.” She finally says.

Sounds sincere and she’s not tense. Biggs deflates some and turns back to hold up a lever Jessie just tried shoving over for a few minutes. He should watch her more, seems she’s just making this harder for herself. Winces as she yelps from a sharp zap.

At least some of the lights have finally turned on. Doesn’t seem to have done anything for the airship though.

“Wait,” Jessie says, “the guy you kicked to hell on the plate, Reno? He’s that slutty red-head right?”

Cloud snorts, jumps back at the burst of laughter that explodes out of Cissnei. She’s so tiny and quiet, it’s jarring.

“Sure, why?” she says through her laughs.

Jessie shrugs, “Dunno, he’s just slutty.” is silent and then, "Tifa said...he's the one that dropped the plate."

This is just going down a weird, sad direction that they don't have time for. They need to get a move on, the fighting is dying down, but Cloud’s got a bad feeling growing in his stomach.

“Okay, hurry up,” he says.

“Oh, I got it, can you just press that button for me, pretty eyes.” Why didn’t she say that earlier instead of all this _slut talk?_

Friends, they are his _friends_ and he doesn’t want to kill them.

Really, he doesn’t.

Presses the button she pointed too though, on the other side of all the machinery.

The whole room vibrates and brightens. Gears start turning and steam comes from somewhere. It gets loud and then louder. Jessie starts banging on the side of the main engine in the center of all the gears. Cloud winces and doubts that's really doing anything.

"I’m gonna wait out here,” Wedge is shouting, covering his ears and just steps out into the hallway.

“Me too,” Cloud mutters, ducks his head, and follows Wedge out.

Cissnei joins them in under a minute. It’s still pretty loud out in the hallway too, but his ears aren't ringing. The lights keep flickering off and on all down the walls. Must be kind of working then.

“Look,” Cissnei says, staring at him again, “I know. It’s hard to trust me, and what I’m about to ask isn’t going to really make that easier.”

Cloud frowns, crosses his arms, and lets his guard pull over his eyes. Braces himself.

“I have to go back, with the Turks, with them thinking I’m still on ShinRa’s side.”

She’s right, this is making it hard to keep trusting her. How does he know she’s not just making this up so she can play out the easy route?

Trust. He’d thought it before the mission, it’s lacking, in all of them. He sighs, hoping he’s not playing a fool here. She keeps coming back for Zack, that's something. Shows she’s at least got morals and tries to keep loyal to her friends.

“You go up there without us, you know what Zack will think.”

She frowns, he doesn’t expect the mistiness in her eyes. Just for a moment, holds them in and they disappear.

“I have to try,” she says, looks at Wedge too, “They’re good people, following bad orders. It’s tearing them up, what they did to Slum 7. I know it is.”

Reno and Rude, Cloud’s not sure. Must be good at hiding it, they seemed pretty aggressive on the plate, all flashy and cocky smiles. Yet, Aerith’s mentioned that before too. Tried to avoid them running around slum 5, stopped Cloud from going after Reno the first time.

“I have to go back one more time, bring them over to this side. They’re my family.”

The Turks. They really do stick together.

“Besides,” she continues, “I can feed you information on Rufus. He’s…looking for materia. It’s why he wants the airship.”

Materia…why? Cloud winces, feels a sharp static headache, but it fades and Sephiroth doesn’t follow.

His left-hand twitches pretty hard though. Worst twitch of the day.

“Why?” Wedge asks, “what kind of materia?”

“I’m not sure, odd ones, that I don’t think actually exist. Look, Cloud,” she reaches for him, but stills and pulls back, “I know you don’t remember, but the only reason you two made it to Midgar...I lied. I lied to Tseng and the others, more than once. Let Zack go.”

Otherwise, …he’d still be back in Nibelheim, floating around in Hojo’s mako tanks.

He sees her then, right through her eyes and her worried brows. She’s trying to save everyone. The Turks, Zack, them. Everyone in Midgar, hell, even in Avalanche.

You really can’t win that way. But…damn.

Cloud’s the same. Hard not to be, when it feels like everything terrible happening is because of him. It’s why he doesn’t want friends, doesn’t want to get to know people.

Just makes it harder when you can’t save them.

“He’ll be mad. ” Cloud says.

“You’ll set him straight.” She digs in her back pocket, pulls out two shiny new PHS’s, “here, I’ve wiped them of bugs and traces. They won’t work with the ShinRa servers, but I’ve connected them together and to my PHS, Kunsel's too, if he's still got his.” She tosses them to him.

One for Zack, one for him. She really is on their side then, risking this, constant contact with them.

Cloud nods. They all freeze, the muffled noise of a chopper floating down to them.

“That’ll be Reno. Better go do some damage control.”

She takes off down the hallway.

“Cissnei,” Cloud calls to her, “keep ShinRa off our backs, as much as you can.”

She smiles, pulls a Jessie move, and finger guns at him, “Sure thing, don’t forget, tell Zack.” Rounds the corner and is out of sight.

Zack will come to him anyway, thinking she’s harmed him, popping back up there without them.

“You ever feel,” Wedge says, eyes zoned out a little, “things are _just_ out of your control?”

Cloud snorts, does he ever, “think that’s been my whole life, Wedge.”

He sighs, glances over as Jessie and Biggs finally come out of the engine room with confident smiles. The lights stay on at least.

“Me too, bro.”

Ugh, “seriously, you gotta stop with the bro.”

***

So much anger in his eyes.

Cloud was right, Zack’s angrier then she thought. Scary even, she’s didn’t know Zack could get like that. She hopes Cloud’s word is enough to calm him.

Rude pulls her and Elena up and into the chopper with ease, but leaves her on her own to gently lay Elena down on the far seats. She buckles her in, Reno’s not flying very well, all choppy movements and dizzying tilts. Cissnei watches out the open door, as the HIGHWIND pulls out of Junon port and speeds away over the water. Her only guess is they are going back to Wutai. For how long?

Unbalanced, she pokes her head into the cockpit. There’s a lot of beeping and the emergency warning light is flashing. She can’t tell if the smoke is from the control paneling or inside the helicopter.

“Reno,” Rude’s trying to ease him back into his seat. He’s hunched painfully, still flying.

“Yeah, I know-I fucking know.”

He pulls them over the port, farther south into the forest, and lands roughly. She’s jostled so much, she falls back into the cabin wall. The chopper cuts just seconds after landing, smoking even more.

Cissnei sighs, all of her adrenaline from the last few days and her worry about Zack’s wrongly thinking betrayal, it all leaves with the air from her lungs.

The chopper is still smoking, metal feels hot to the touch all along the left side.

Could have been a bad crash.

Rude’s hovering over Reno, glances at her before reaching down and gently pries his hand away from the chopper’s controls.

“Reno, let go.”

She didn’t notice, thought it was just older injuries he had aggravated. Reno’s whole left side is pretty red and raw-looking, both his hands are torched, gloves mostly burned away. Skin blistering in spots.

She realizes then, the chopper is overheated, not smoking from inside damage, just smoking from hot metal and moisture. Fire materia, the only way. She’d wondered why the HIGHWIND wasn’t more beaten up.

Kind of grateful too, she’d been slow gathering Elena, afraid that Reno and Rude were doing too much damage to the airship, to Zack’s team. If she’s going to try and get them to come with her, to turn on Tseng and Rufus, she has to make sure they don’t damage those she’s running to for shelter.

Cloud surprised her, more trusting and mild-tempered. He’s giving her a better chance than any of the others. She thinks, even more than Zack.

She hopes too, they use those PHS’s she gave them. It’s risky, for her to stay in contact that easily, but she’s not planning on staying with ShinRa much longer.

Reno’s hissing at Rude, doesn’t fight him when Rude manhandles him around, lets him tilt his head to look at the raw skin around his neck and chest. Frown lines are deep on Rude’s face, overly concerned she would say. Looks more painful than it is, Reno’s hands got the worse of it.

An odd sense of intrusion falls around her shoulders, gets stronger when Rude scoots closer and moves Reno’s leg over so he can lean over him better. He’s practically in his lap.

She looks away with a small amount of guilty embarrassment. Reno doesn’t like to be soft in front of others. All that boasting and cocky attitude, his typical social shield. Even worse when he’s injured.

She’ll go check on Elena again, still out cold from that overly aggressive bash Cloud knocked her out with. She's got a rather nasty bruise coming in on the side of her neck.

“I don’t think-I can keep doing this, Rude.”

It makes her glance back. Such soft words and defeat ringing in the silence.

Reno never sounds like that.

She feels bad again, intruding still. Reno’s pressed his forehead against Rude’s shoulder, blistering hands shaking as Rude turns them over, soothing ointment on them from their tiny first aid kit.

She catches the look in his glassy turquoise eyes, when he hisses at Rude and titles his head.

Regret. He feels bad…

It’s terrible to think, but it gives her a stronger sense of hope. She knew they were upset about dropping the plate. She titters back and forth on Reno’s overall morals daily. However, seeing him this broken in, letting it show even if it’s just the pain talking. The guilt’s been eating at him slowly.

It’s probably Reno’s one redeeming quality and he hides it so much, hardly anyone knows he’s got it.

He’s kind. In a weird round -about way, but she’s known him long enough to see it shine through when it counts.

Maybe, they are already there; Ready to turn against ShinRa too.

She just needs to give them a tiny push.

***

Zack tries not to panic, has to keep pushing it down in his chest. Running down into the narrow hallways of the ship without knowing where he is going probably wasn’t the smartest. He just needs to make sure Cloud’s fine. After Kunsel almost died on him. Can't believe he almost lost someone important to him, again.

And Cissnei.

He can’t believe it. Why? She’d helped him before, so many times. Her hesitation more than clear, she didn’t agree with hunting him down and returning him and Cloud to Hojo.

So why now? Is it just because the other Turks are here?

He’s close to a breaking point and he doesn’t even know how he got to it.

He reaches for Cloud again, he doesn’t feel as faint as before. Doesn’t really ease the panic trying to crawl up his throat. He can’t calm down, it’s not good. Worked himself into too many tangents and now he can’t stop.

He rounds a narrow corner and nearly crashes into Tifa and Red.

“Oh-shit, Zack!” Tifa’s clutching her chest, “Geez, you scared me. Hey-you okay?”

“Yeah,” he stutters, quickly side stepping around her and Red, “Cloud, you seen him?”

She shakes her head, “I’m sure he’s fine. There weren’t too many troopers left down here, we chased them all up or you know” she clicks her tongue and swipes her thumb across her throat.

Red nods, skirts around him and whacks his leg gently with his tail, “a few workers though, seem to know Cid.”

That’s good, he gue- _oh he doesn’t care_. Literally doesn’t care about anything right now but the spiraling anxiety in him and the need to get to Cloud.

“Mm, cool, cool,” he’s already jogging away from them. Hears Tifa snort-laugh at his back.

“Engine room is down to your left,” Red calls after him.

Okay, left, it’s a bunch more hallways, but there are arrows on the walls that have an engine icon over them, leads him down and back, the maze of this blasted airship. It’s huge, could go through it all day and still get lost.

He breaks out in a run again, turns a few more hallways and through a large room with a large centered table and hologram projector. Looks like an operations room.

Collides right into Cloud, Jessie, Biggs, and Wedge rushing through the opposite doorway.

“ _Geez_ , Zack, where’s the fire.” Jessie yelps, jumps out of the way.

He’s crashed so hard into Cloud, he knocked him back against Biggs and Wedge.

But he found him and he looks just fine.

_He’s okay._

He doesn’t even let Cloud right himself, just grabs at his out stretched arm and yanks him into his chest, embracing him tightly and crashes back into the wall of the narrow hallway. Zack can feel himself shaking, he’s holding Cloud so tightly.

So off balanced, comes in waves, why does it keep happening to him? He’s normally in control better.

A jumbled mind, easily distracted at times. But this mass spiraling into anxiety is too new. Notices it more and more the longer Nibelheim is behind them. Behind a wall somewhere in his mind, he hears the reason; trauma. But he can’t deal with it now. He’s got to help Cloud heal from his first.

He shakes harder and frowns, he’s losing his focus in all his thoughts again.

He presses his face down into Cloud’s shoulders. Feels Cloud’s raspy low voice rumble against his ear,

“Go up top guys, I’ve got him.”

Zack squeezes him some more. Listens to their Avalanche trio whisper to themselves and walk down the hall.

Cloud’s arms slide around his waist, a strong pressure. He bows into him, shifts to tilt his head back so he can more comfortably rest his chin over Zack’s shoulder.

“Zack, it’s okay. I’m fine.”

He shakes some more. How is he fine, Cissnei turned on them…he should be hurt, Cloud wouldn’t let her go without a fight. He should be-

“ _Zack.”_ Cloud’s pulling away.

Embarrassingly, Zack whines after him. He’s gotta stay right against him, where he’s safe.

He gets exhausted all at once, nerves and adrenaline crashing, finally winning out over his anxiety. He slides down the wall. Cloud’s pushing a steady mantra of ‘breathe’ in his head. Kneels down with him.

“Hey,” so gently, Cloud tucks some of his hair behind his ear. It won’t stay, that strand always falls back into his face.

He’s cupping his jaw and presses a kiss to his lips. It pushes all the air back into his lungs, blows out the darkness encroaching on his vision. Brings the ringing in his ears to a stop and Zack feels a waterfall of calm pour down over him.

All his senses start working correctly again. Jarring and Zack didn’t even realize he’d lost them.

Anxiety sure is a bitch.

Cloud’s lingering so close to him, watching him with a neutral expression and calculating eyes.

The humming of the ship’s inner workings is a little louder down here in the decks. But it’s soothing, a low tone that is warm and reassuring they aren’t going to just drop from the sky. The lighting is nice and warm too, makes the narrow hallways seem more homely. Comforting, even against the stark metal and oddly charming roughness of the walls.

“Zack, listen,” Cloud rests his weight down on his own knees some more. He’s sitting on the floor in between Zack’s legs, crowding in against Zack’s chest. Instinctively, Zack draws his knees up, walling Cloud in with his long legs.

“Y-yeah,” he says.

Cloud’s sliding a hand over one of his thighs, rubs back and forth slow with hard pressure. Grounds him even more.

“Cissnei didn’t betray us.”

It does start his heart pounding, but he’s not falling back into a panic. He focuses some more on Cloud’s soothing rubs.

“She’s going to help keep ShinRa off our backs, okay?”

Zack…he doesn’t _not_ believe Cloud. Obviously he’s fine and Cloud’s not in a panic, he’s not hurt. He’s actually completely normal, when Zack looks in their connection, sees he even has a low hum of happiness. They pulled off their mission relatively unscathed.

All that worry in Cissnei’s eyes as the HIGHWIND pulled away.

Then.

He’s over reacting?

Cloud’s sliding his other hand against the side of his neck, warm and gripping. Presses in again for another, harder kiss. Smacks their lips slow and wet when he pulls back to bump their heads together. Zack exhales shakily, damn. Cloud’s really pulling out all the stops to comfort him. Stays close, touching him constantly.

Even pushing a steady flow of affection and tenderness at him.

“Sorry, Cloudy-Sky, I’ll focus better in a sec.”

Cloud frowns at him, starts tracing his jaw scar as his eyes roam over his face.

“Why are you sorry?” Says it so accusingly, draws a laugh from him.

He’s not sure. He’s being weird. Keeps waiting for the other side to drop and something terrible to happen. He’s come to expect it now, when it doesn’t happen…just leaves him with unnecessary anxiety.

Cloud’s nearly pulled it all away from him now. Got him laughing. Zack smiles, leans in and wraps his arms around Cloud, draws him in flush against him, and rests his mouth on his bare shoulder.

“Go up soon? Just, wanna stay here a little longer.”

Cloud’s holding him against him just as tight, hums in agreement.

He’s so patient with Zack, lets him rest and recharge against him. How’d he earn that? When Cloud’s still so short with everyone else. For Zack, offers all he has. Seems never ending.

When they do head back up, it takes a while. Zack certainly wasn’t paying attention as he run through the halls and Cloud hasn’t even been above the second deck. They don’t pass anyone either, Tifa had said there were workers that had no loyalties to ShinRa.

Zack’s panic had lasted awhile; Cid must have talked to them by now.

As they get up on the top deck, the sky’s a lighter blue, sunrise coming over the horizon line that’s a lot higher than normal.

Barret and their trio are missing, but the rest of their rag-tag team is all huddled around Cid up on the flight control section. Kunsel’s looking better (Zack gets a guilt pang, just rushing off on him like that. He’d almost died.) leaning on one of the consoles. Aerith and Tifa are hovering close to him, eases Zack.

“Aw, found your lil’ Chocobo.” Kunsel’s smirking at them as they walk up.

“Seriously,” Cloud mutters under his breath, “why all the nicknames…”

He does get picked on so much. Too bad Zack thinks it’s way too adorable to stop. He jostles Cloud with his arm, digs his hand into his hair to fluff up.

Gets him huffing and Cloud ducks away from him, goes and stands close to Tifa. Kunsel’s shaking his head at him, not holding back his teasing smirk.

“Come on, man, chocobo’s are shy. You can’t be rough like that.” He tells him as he slides on up next to him and mirrors his posture.

“Keep calling him that, the chocobo is going to kill you.” Not a very timely placed joke, but he’s already said it.

“I’m gonna kill _both_ of you.” Cloud snips.

Opps, guess all that patience for him doesn’t apply to him _plus_ other people. Zack chuckles anyway, winks at Cloud across their friends. Doesn’t expect Cloud to get flustered from it, but he’s clamming up just a bit and shuffles closer to Tifa, eyes adverted. Still always a surprise, what sets off Cloud’s bashfulness. He’s getting better about it when it’s just the two of them, so Zack can’t really complain.

It’s so fucking adorable anyway.

Kunsel’s snickering at Zack. Opens his mouth to probably tease him, but Cid’s clearing his throat and rolling his eyes.

“Okay, here, run down of the ship real fast, then get the hell out of my hair.”

He pulls up an updated, less schematic-y map of the HIGHWIND, on the screen to his right. Twists it around more so they can all see without cramming their necks. Zack notices everyone kind of squishes together anyway. Cid points out all the deck’s, they already know this. The top flight deck, has the bridge (currently their location, Cloud’s rolling his eyes with an unsaid ‘duh’) and the front lookout deck at the very far end of the bow.

The two middle decks consist of many inter changing and similar sections. Stables on both, rooms on both, wash rooms, bathrooms, kitchens, and an infirmary on both levels. All located at the bow of the ship.

“Basically,” Cid says, “the stern is all mechanical and storage, the bow is living quarters.”

He warns them that the very bottom lookout deck isn’t finished and is off limits to everyone except the workers.

“Here’s the operations room,” Cid points it out. It’s dead center of the ship, connecting with two main hallways on the 1st level below the flight deck, “it’s also not finished, supposed to connect to all levels, but some of the staircases aren’t complete.”

It’s where Zack had run into Cloud, just outside in one of the hallways.

“Barret’s already mentioned it’ll be useful,” Tifa says, “for whatever HQ wants to do with this thing.”

An operations room. Just a fancy way of saying a war room, Zack’s got no denial, this airship is going to be a pretty top notch weapon to use against Midgar.

Cid grunts, “Yeah, not sure I’m willing to let ya Avalanche junkies just do whatever with my baby.”

Aerith wrinkles her nose and Tifa frowns, crosses her arms. Cid pointedly does not look at them, seems they’ve already had a similar argument. With Barret and the other three around?

Kunsel coughs, “so uh, you got rooms for us then? Think I’m gonna need to sleep off the rest of these bullet scrapes.”

Zack flinches, instinctively wants to reach out to him. Just knows he’s going to be over hovering and protective of Kunsel now too.

“Don’t, I’m good bud.” Kunsel’s eyeing him, pokes him in the forehead a little too hard.

“Go ahead and pick, probably is furnished enough, knowing that pansy ass Rufus, can't handle any kind of roughin' it."

Kunsel snorts out his laugh loudly and Zack snickers along with him. It’s refreshing to hear someone insult Rufus Shinra without a thought.

Most people were just afraid of him, or suck ups.

“Don’t expect to get back to Wutai anytime before midnight tonight. Damn ships all put together wrong, systems all half running. She’s slow as hell.”

“Uh,” Aerith says, “we’re not going to just drop out of the sky are we?”

“Fuck no, just don’t think about it, now go on, I don’t need to keep looking at your faces.” He waves them away with large sweeps of his arms, grumbling and sinking himself back into the controls around the steering.

A whole massive airship. It’s impressive, even with the half busted glass dome and the unfinished mechanics, he can’t imagine what it will look like at full capacity.

They all move as a group, Red slinking in front of them and disappears down one of the first hallways as they descend the staircase down onto the first level deck. Zack doesn’t care if Kunsel sends him a few suspicious glances; he’s totally hovering over him.

He almost _died._

Cause Zack was dumb enough to forget casting SHIELD over everyone he cares about.

He dips into the first room he finds, probably just to get away from Zack. Salutes him terribly with two fingers and winks after Cloud,

“Make sure you take care of our 1st class, chocobo.”

Cloud’s glare is harsh and bores into Kunsel’s door even as it’s closed. The girls giggle at him and Zack sighs, drapes his arm over its rightful place across Cloud’s shoulders.

“You know, he’d stop if you didn’t get so worked up about it.”

“I’m not worked up.” Cloud snips, he’s relaxed against him though, so he’s just being bratty. There’s probably something wrong with him, Zack thinks it’s too endearing. Too cute when his brows furrow down into a tiny knot and the corner of his lip twitches to a half pout. Zack wants to shove him against the wall and kiss it away.

He doesn’t. Wants too, but Tifa and Aerith are pressed together, only a few steps in front of them, and keep glancing back at them knowingly.

Zack flushes, feels like they can hear his thoughts. He’ll just try not to think about Cloud. Even though he’s so warm and solid under his arm.

It’s mixing with his exhaustion, making him loopy and horny. He’s lucky Cloud is so receptive to him, bets he’d be too much for someone else. Zack just can’t help it, Cloud’s so, just- everything he needs and right _there._

Still can’t believe it. He’s allowed to touch him, whenever he wants.

So lucky, Cloud lets him too. Only pushes him away if he’s in pain and even then, all Zack has to do is change the tone. He’s good with innocent touches, gets just as much satisfaction from them. Just as long as he’s allowed too.

Fuck. He’s already past loopy and horny, full blow distracted and getting twitchy with it.

Cloud finally stops short, sighs at Zack, and just picks a door. The hallway they are on seems to be all rooms for whatever crew was supposed to be on this thing. Not too far down from Kunsel, maybe six doors, the girls keep walking. They spin around and step backwards a bit, arms linked and giggle their ‘see ya laters’ at them.

It’s not night time, but they’re all going to crash.

Rooms small, but the walls are thick (perfect) the ships humming isn’t present, blocked out the moment Cloud closes the door. It’s bare too, a queen bed, simple sheets, and just one too many pillows. A dresser with a small alarm clock, and a night stand, small garbage bin and connected on the right, a compacted bathroom. Complete with a semi-large stand in shower, toilet and squished in sink and mirror.

Cid had mentioned there were separate wash room areas, odd. Like a bath house? Zack slips his buster off his back and leans it against the wall before he groans and just face plants down onto the bed. He’d _kill_ for a soak at a bath house. After camping out on the ground for a night and the too weird grungy/sterile barracks room back in Wutai. Any kind of relaxation seems like a lavish luxury in comparison.

Sounds so awesome right now. Cloud would look so good too, all flushed from the steam.

Cloud laughs into the quiet, must feel some of the ups and downs from his random chattering in his head.

A dull _thunk_ hits the floor, twice in a row, sounds like Cloud’s boots coming off.

Zack’s still in that weird loopy-horny haze, wants to sit up and get Cloud to come over to him.

But he’s also just crashing from all the insanity of his anxiety and the stress of the mission and Kunsel almost dying and thinking Cissnei just dipped on them, but didn’t really and-

Ah-there’s a warm shadow over him and a pressure over the small of his back.

Cloud’s swinging his legs around him to straddle and lowers down to sit on his ass. Zack barely manages to push himself up onto his elbows and glances back at Cloud.

“Find a good seat?” Zack snickers.

Cloud rolls his eyes and reaches out. Slides his bare hands up his back, taps at the buckle of his weapon harness before twisting it, and unbuckling the straps. Takes both of Zack’s shoulder armor too before sliding the harness straps off his arms. Yanks the belt out from under his stomach, dragging his body a bit with it.

Cloud drops all of it onto the floor next to the bed. Zack twists some more, wants to get Cloud all close to him and kiss those bitten lips. He keeps biting them, a nervous habit.

Zack’s not sure why he’s nervous. He twists some more, pushes back-

-Gets shoved back down from his shoulder, his face smashed lightly into a pillow. Shocks a laugh from him.

“What-Cloud.”

Cloud’s leaning over him, feels the pressure of his weight shifting and the pin point of it on his hands. Zack feels the softness of his lips brush against his bare right shoulder.

“Just…Hmph.” Cloud presses another kiss into his skin, “I-I‘m kinda shit at this. But, I wanna get better. So just stay, right there.”

Zack involuntary tilts his head to the side in question, even though Cloud can’t see it really and it’s down into a pillow. He laughs at himself, pushes up just a bit so he can at least glance over his shoulder at Cloud.

He’s too pretty not to stare at, even if he is sitting on his legs.

“Shit at what?” he asks.

Cloud’s looking away from him, bitting his lip again. He slides up a bit, starts running his hands back up Zack’s back. Starts low and glides up to his shoulder blades, deepening the pressure near his soreness and a knot that’s real tight in his right shoulder.

He does that a few more times, lingers over that knot and then just digs his hands in. Curls his fingers and gets his knuckles deep into the muscle tissue. Traps some air in Zack’s lungs.

“Ah-hh, ow, _fuck_.” He groans out, hangs his head down and curls his back so Cloud can get in deeper to the muscle.

Shit at this, what’s he talking about? Cloud’s the fucking sweetest, taking care of him, trying to relax him.

Zack’s gonna be even more loopy any second if he’s planning on working out all the knots and tightness in his back. Last time he had a massage was years and years ago.

Cloud works at the knot for a while, loosens it about half way before he’s huffing down at Zack like he did something to offend him. His hands leave him and Cloud’s warmth isn’t as close as he sits back all the way.

Not too long, strong fingers come back to him, slipping under his shirt this time and pushes the thick sweater material up and up. Zack chuckles again, helps Cloud out and lifts his torso an inch, reaches up and back to grab the bottom of his shit and yanks it over his head. Tosses it to the floor with his armor and harness. He resettles down into the bed, crossing his arms and pillows his cheek on his hands.

Cloud takes in the quietest inhale, stuttering and…fuck, he sounds _needy._

His hands are on Zack’s back again, feels even better skin to skin. He groans and closes his eyes as Cloud goes right back to finish digging that knot out. Hurts less and less and Cloud’s not afraid to really shove his knuckles in. Soothes every painful dig with tight, shallower palm circles. Over a few more times and the knot is finally gone. Zack’s gasping out his air, barely holding in his moans.

Feels amazing to be free of that tightness under his skin.

Brings sighs from his lips as Cloud’s hands gentle into a soothing rub. He’s tracing his muscles in a pattern, fans out all along his shoulders in a slow, slow deep press. Double tracks back fast and down his spine with lighter touches, uses only three of his fingers to gently massage his spine ridges. Cloud pushes all the way up his spine, to the back of his neck and just squeezes at the tight skin there, before repeating all over again at his shoulders.

Puddy, he’s just a mess of loose limbs and drawn out moans. His eyes flutter every time Cloud passes over the center of his spine. Every other time he completes his pattern, Zack feels the soft brush of his lips on his skin.

Middle of his back.

His right shoulder.

Closer to his ribs.

So carefully and just barely enough pressure to keep from tickling him.

Cloud’s amazing hands and perfect little kisses lull him into a sleep he doesn’t notice until suddenly.

It’s just nothing.

He jerks awake feeling like he’s over slept. His heart slows back down pretty quickly once he’s a little less blurry-eyed. Glances at the alarm clock, barely even an hour. Sun has probably only been up for only half of it. No wonder it feels too early.

He’s on his back, his boots gone and he’s only in his boxer briefs. Cloud must have finished undressing him after he fell asleep. Speaking off, Cloud’s octopus-ed around him, at an odd angle, head pillowed on his sternum. Zack’s slow and carefully moves him; looks so sweet curled up tight to him.

He’s also so loose and relaxed-weak from that awesome massage, can’t really manage moving too fast yet.

Zack slips off the bed, tidy ups the room, moves his shoes to be in a pile with Cloud’s near the door and puts their armor and harnesses on top of the dresser. Re folds their clothes and oh dang, the rest of their stuff is all packed in that back-bag at the campsite.

Probably back at the base now. Two small thuds sound on the floor as he folds up Cloud’s pants.

PHS’s. Looks like new ones, Zack’s old one long gone, but it was flip up one. These are sleek and thin, full touch screen. From Cissnei?

He can’t imagine where else Cloud would have gotten them from. Maybe Kunsel, but Zack feels like it’s Cissnei. He places those on the night stand. He’ll look at them later.

After the reality sets in that they actually managed to pull off stealing a fucking _airship_ out from under ShinRa. Giddiness in his stomach from it, now that Cloud beat the stress out of him.

His back muscles are a little tender; he pads into the tiny bathroom and flips the light on. Warm tone light, reminds him of the sun. He splashes his face with cold water and straightens back up to look in the mirror.

Twisting to see his back, “Damn, Cloud,” he mutters. Reaches back to one of his shoulders to rub at it.

Bruises that have already started healing are scattered over the large area where the worst of his knots were. Even a little along his spine. Cloud really worked him over. Zack sighs, felt so good.

So good to him.

He gets an overwhelming need to return the favor. Letting Cloud sleep would be better…

Except he’s sitting up, half asleep and making small soft noises that just go straight to pooling heat, low in Zack’s stomach.

That’s the thing about Cloud. So oblivious still, just being around Zack, does stupid things everyone does and yet when it’s Cloud, Zack can’t contain himself. He’s got no idea how attractive he is. Thinks of himself in terms of ability and impressions on others. If he’s appeasing them, even if he’s snarking the whole way and doesn’t want to.

Cloud’s stretching, arching and letting out a long hum with it. Zack slips up behind him, plasters his body against Cloud’s. Rocks against him the second their skins touching. He’s still half in sleep, going lax in Zack’s arms.

Zack sucks in air through his teeth, rocks his hips for friction against Cloud’s ass. He’s pretty quiet, just his little sleepy sounds and tight inhales.

Zack gets an extra sharp one for thumbing over his nipple, even a body jerk with it. That’s _new._ How many other things has Zack done to him and Cloud’s held back his reaction.

So shy still…

Zack doesn’t mind, but he rather it didn’t hinder Cloud. Can be shy all he wants, so long as he doesn’t feel bad for asking, for _wanting_ things. He’d do anything Cloud wants, the need to please him so strong, sometimes it over takes his own.

“Still half asleep on me?” Zack’s murmurs against his ear, rolls his hips and presses harder against his nipple again.

Sharper body jerk and a raspier moan. Zack has to groan himself. He loves that rasp, so sexy and _needy._ It’s thicker in his voice when he wakes. When he’s fucked out and high on endorphins.

He does it a third time, palming at his cock through his boxer briefs. Holds him back against him and stokes both his cock and nipple until Cloud jerks so hard he drags Zack forward off balance and they fall down into the mattress.

Zack wasn’t ready for _that._ They both breathe in sync and then break out in low laughs together. Zack presses his cheek against the back of Cloud’s head, hikes him up by his waist so he’s leaning easier on his knees and elbows.

Re-plasters himself to follow the curve of his back and wetly kisses his shoulder.

“Mm, feel good Cloud?” he’s still laughing a bit into his fair skin, “can you do something for me?”

Cloud’s already responding to him more than usual, rocking his body back and up in smooth rolls against him, looking for any type of friction, any kind of touch.

“Ye-AH-ah.” Stutters over his reply as Zack sinks his teeth into the junction of his neck.

“Tell me, what you want.” Whispers in his skin, laps slowly over the bruising flesh.

Cloud stills and takes in a few shattering breathes. Even without seeing his face, can see the shyness slinking down with his shoulders, hunches in to himself more.

“W-whatever is good.”

Whatever Zack wants. Doesn’t sigh, he doesn’t want Cloud to feel like that’s the wrong answer.

It is, for right now, but Zack knows how to work around it. Too direct without any encouragement and Cloud shuts down more times than not. He does get less in his head the more lusted he gets.

Zack encourages more bruising over his bit mark with a hard suction. Dips his fingers under Cloud’s waistband this time and grasps him, strokes short, barely brushing over the head of his cock. Cloud jerks back against him. He wants more, tries to get Zack to stroke over him completely.

Cloud is an easy read. His body reacts before his brain catches up and Zack can’t be more endeared by it. Tries to get away when he’s over stimulated, which Zack knows he likes, and pushes in to him when he wants more. A good contrast, a shy mind but a greedy body. Zack wants him even greedier, he’ll give him all he needs.

Bites down hard again, over the same bite mark. Cloud shouts, shoves forward to get away. Zack won’t let him, knows this game well. Cloud instantly gets harder in his hand, the tighter Zack holds him to his body, soothes the bite not quite enough before re-sinking in his teeth.

Trembling already and drips of pre-come flow over Zack’s hand. Yeah, good-he’s got to get him a little bit more lost before Cloud will break and ask. Relentlessly, he keeps his teeth in his shoulder and thumbs hard at his nipple again, catches it tightly between his fingers. Gives Cloud the relief of stroking over the head of his cock with a wrist twist, fast and tighter, causes his boxer briefs to slide down over his hand and expose him into the chilly air.

“A-hh, Z-Zack.” Almost _there_ , the desperation in his voice. Fuck it makes him so hard. Zack lines up his trapped cock against the rise of Cloud’s ass and rolls his hips in time with his stroking.

Cloud keeps jerking forward, over stimulated and needs a break. Too bad, Zack’s not going to give it to him. No way-he needs Cloud to come, a rushed wave of want. He lets Cloud fall chest down into the mattress, follows him the whole time and pushes his weight down on top of him. He’s grabbing at Zack’s forearm, obscenely bowing with his hips pushing against Zack’s cock and whimpering to stifle his moans.

“Hey now, I wanna hear you, can you give that pretty voice, Beautiful?” it’s almost like a switch, anytime Zack asks for anything from him, does it instantly. Except for the asking for things himself. Zack huffs, roughly strokes Cloud and gets the strained groan from him.

He’s dripping so much. Zack still doesn’t think he’s lost in lust enough, but Cloud has been more forward lately, pushing past his bashful tendencies. Maybe...

“Tell me, Mm? How you wanna feel good?” Zack tries, presses their faces together and doesn’t stop his touches.

“Zack, I-”

So close, almost. Zack pushes the thought into their connection, seems Cloud is less embarrassed by feelings than words, thinks ‘come on tell me’. _So close._

“Y-your mouth,” Cloud stutters out and jerks forward again.

Zack sees it, a flash, a faint feeling of butterflies in his stomach, sees the imagine in his head. Cloud wants his tongue inside him.

_Fuck_

“Yeah, Beautiful you got it.”

The chill in the air is quick to rush around their bodies, gives them both goosebumps. Zack chases them away on Cloud’s spine, drags his hand down the valley of skin, all the way to the small of his back. Presses at the dimples just above his ass cheeks.

Cloud’s slipping his knees out and lifting his hips higher, putting himself on full display for Zack.

His cock throbs hard, still trapped under cloth.

Cloud’s got a great ass, hard muscle and contoured, rounded out just a bit, smooths and dips into his built up thighs. Zack cups both his cheeks and spreads the flesh apart. Cloud shakes and holds in a moan.

Probably is biting at his lip too. Zack leans in, thumbs at his blushing pink pucker and groans when it twitches under his touch.

“I wanna hear you, can you do that for me?” he says and then just goes right in. Swipes the wide base of his tongue over Cloud’s entrance and probes at him, stretches the skin around him some more. Gets him more room to shove his tongue in as far as he can.

Cloud _shouts_ , higher pitched but the raspy-ness follows instead of his usual clear, higher octaves.

Gets Zack’s heart pounding every time he can draw that moan from Cloud. He takes his time eating Cloud out, shoves his tongue in fast and laps at him slowly. Repeats and changes up his rhythm every so often until Cloud is trembling into relaxed muscles and can barely hold his hips up.

Zack’s just got to stroke at his cock one time with his tongue in him and Cloud’s whole body just gives, rocks forward and then pushes back against him and Cloud comes with a moan so loud his voice cracks into a silence.

He coats Zack’s hand in so much come, drips down his palm.

Cloud’s whole body crashes down, Zack sitting back with a boosted ego. Fuck, but that's not one of his favorite things, making Cloud come. That bite he re-put into Cloud’s skin is really dark, the blood gathering just under the thinnest layer of his skin. Cloud’s twitching, his cock spent, but jumps, he’s still ready for more.

Zack groans,Cloud’s body, so needy, just for him. He yanks Cloud toward him, slides him along the sheets and gets one of his legs spread. He doesn’t have lube but Cloud’s come is extra thick and _a lot_ this time. He drips some onto his entrance and doesn’t wait for Cloud to ask. Pushes two of his coated fingers inside him, nice and easy.

Leaning over him, Zack presses his lips tenderly on the back of his neck. Pushes and pulls his fingers slowly, teasing that spot inside Cloud, catches the rim of his entrance. He’s so relaxed Zack doesn’t need to stretch him. He wants too, wants Cloud in his over sensitive haze. He can’t help it, over doing it every time they fuck. Cloud is so addictive like that, so raw and open and looks into Zack’s eyes like he’s finally helped him heal. 

Damnit…Zack’s heart thumps painfully. He’s pretty bad at keeping emotions out of sex too.

He was going to fuck him like this, face down, he can get in so deep this way. Can’t ignore the hard aching in his chest, he’s gotta look at Cloud’s face, see in his eyes.

“Come here,” he mutters, shifts Cloud to turn.

He’s shaky, but he can shove himself up and flips, he’s more clear eyed then Zack thought. Somehow, makes Zack ache for him more. He…he didn’t need to fall so deep into endorphins to response to Zack that way. More comfortable…less in his head.

Aw, fuck, Cloud’s even reaching for him first again. Tucks his hair back and zeros in on Zack’s lips. Surging forward, Zack pushes him back against the pillows and the head board, surrounds him with his body and slips his tongue into his mouth.

Cloud’s dragging his hands through his hair, scratches at the base of his neck and pulls him closer, legs falling open and up for Zack to press in against him. They part to breathe in each other.

“Want my mouth some more?”

Cloud flushes, glances to the side, “Zack…”

He can’t help it, laughs at him. So adorable. Grabs at Cloud’s thighs and yanks him up into his lap. He bumps their foreheads together. Cloud just buries his hand into his hair more. Sweet.

“Tell me then,” he says, watches Cloud’s pupils dilate and the mako crystals pulse with a brighter glow.

“Mmph, why?” Cloud mumbles. Still shy?

“I like it, Cloud,” Zack grabs his hand resting on his chest, pushes it down to cup at his aching cock. He’s so hard and ready to get inside Cloud, “feel how hard you make me.”

Cloud flushes brightly, almost meets his eyes. He squeezes at Zack’s cock despite his flustered state. Tugs his waistband down and pulls Zack out.

“So,” He shifts his weight, scoots Cloud up a bit more so he can line up easy with his cock, “tell me. How you want me to fuck you?”

He’s mortifying him, can feel him glaring at him through their connection, but he’s giving him all sweet eyes and flustered cheeks still.

“Oh my god, Za-Ah!”

Sliding in with one quick thrust, brings a loud gasp and a sharp, slightly painful wince from Cloud. Even with all his come Zack slipped inside him, he’s still a tad too dry for Zack’s thick cock. That little roughness gets Cloud throbbing and hard again. Zack kisses him, slides their lips together softly. When he’s in all the way he stills, savors the tightness and heat surrounding his cock.

Zack’s not going to last too long. Breaks their kissing, “tell me.” Mumbles against Cloud.

“S-so much talking,” Cloud says to him. Zack chuckles, he kinda likes this, Cloud’s coherent enough to sass back at him.

Feels flirty…oh _god_ , Zack can’t believe he didn’t realize it sooner. He’s trying to _flirt_ and Zack’s just bull rushing over him. Even buried deep inside him, Zack laughs, falls forward and presses his face into Cloud’s shoulder. He won’t tease him and push him back into his shyness. Just rocks his hips up to feel that sweet tight suction of his body. Once more and Cloud gasps, arms going to rest along his shoulders and link together behind his head.

He uses the leverage to rock his own hips down against Zack, pulls his legs up more against his chest and somehow Zack’s sliding in even more. Changes their angle. Zack rolls into him, feels Cloud tighten quickly around him, oh it’s _that_ angle.

Perfect, he’ll get tighter if Zack starts slamming into him.

“Z-Zack, harder.”

“Mm?” he barely heard him, so quiet.

Curling back just enough to look Zack dead in the eyes, so dark with need and blown out pupils.

“ _Harder_.”

He’s telling him. Fucking, _oh fuck_. Zack grabs his hips, lifts him off his cock half way and starts pounding into him. Jerks extra hard in his thrusts just as he’s in all the way. Cloud’s rolling down onto his cock with his movements, pulls himself up against Zack’s body with his arms, drops down with his weight as Zack’s thrusting in. It’s good and hard and getting faster, they move so well together, hitting Cloud’s favorite spot inside him every time.

Even when he’s shaking apart and gasping for air, Cloud keeps rocking with him. Wants to give Zack as good as he’s getting. Zack groans, so sweet, can’t ever get over how good Cloud is for him.

“Come o-on, Zack, _fuck me_.” Cloud’s moaning in his ear, demanding filling his voice and Zack just loses it. How can he not, telling him and talking to him like this.

Might not seem much, but for Cloud…damn, Zack feels a burst of joy in his chest. He picks Cloud up, puts him flat on his back and yanks his legs up to bend him in on himself a little. He pounds into him, reaches down and strokes his hard cock in time with his thrusting, a brutal pace and force that Zack can’t control anymore. He’s so close to coming.

Cloud squeezes all around him and arches, reaching up to grab onto Zack.

Looks him in the eyes again and says, “ _come inside me_.” Growls it at him and fuck-

-It’s suddenly too tight and too hot and so wet. Zack stills and shouts, comes and shakes apart as he spills inside Cloud. He nearly blacks out from the sudden release of pressure.

Collapses on top of Cloud with laughter in his chest. Shit, that was _fun._

Cloud’s stroking his hair down along his neck, humming softly, Zack can only hear it cause his ear is pressed against his chest.

“S’okay?” Cloud asks him.

Okay? He-oh, he meant the talking. Cause Zack wanted him too.

He’d meant for Cloud to tell him want _he_ wanted…

With shaky arms, he lifts himself up from Cloud’s come covered torso, looks down expecting to see him falling back into bashfulness.

Gets bright eyes and a satisfied smile instead. Both then? Zack wanted to do what Cloud wants…

“Zack?” narrowed eyes look at up at him, “stop it,” he knocks on the back of his head gently with his knuckles, “You did…”

Give him what he wanted. It’s getting a little creepy, hearing what Cloud thinks without actually hearing it out loud or in his head. Just, a fiercely strong presence that pushes the words to the fore front of his mind.

He blinds Cloud with a smile he can’t contain. Laughs again as a harmless distressed look fills Cloud’s eyes. He always looks like that when Zack’s shoving all his energy and joy at him. Almost like Cloud thinks Zack’s going to vibrate apart with it, likes it but also doesn’t know what to do at the same time.

It’s cute and hilarious and Zack just can’t stop laughing.

They fucking succeeded at their mission. Got the HIGHWIND. Kunsel’s alive, he’s with them, safely away from ShinRa, and Zack’s got Cloud laying under him, tender and happy and soaking in all Zack wants to give him.

***

That was such a rush, a terrifying one at the end there. She’d thought, for a second, Reno was really going to kill off Zack and Kunsel.

She’d gotten used to Rude and Reno hanging around, checking on her and teasing her. It was always a little game for her, to out smart them and maybe give them some hope that she’d wander back into ShinRa with them.

She never had intentions of doing so, but, it was still fun to annoy the two Turks.

Tseng was less fun…she hated when he showed up when she was little. He was kind and patient, but it was all bundled up too nicely behind eyes that never really showed her warmth. He’s…not faking it, she can tell, that it’s nearly honest. But there’s something else there, a darkness she just can’t trust.

Now that the HIGHWIND is safely sailing back to Wutai, she feels kinda bad, throwing that much power and fire at Reno and Rude. She’s sure Zack didn’t see it, thrown into panic and desperation to save Kunsel, but there was regret and fear swimming in Reno’s eyes behind the anger he was trying to portray.

Weirdly, she could sense it, all the way from that chopper. He had hesitated too, firing off that second round of bullets, but she just couldn’t take the chance that he would have actually taken them out.

Zack’s too important.

Aerith sighs, opens her eyes to stare up at the ceiling. She misses her flowers, gotten used to their little chatters and whispers at her. She can’t wait to go back and check on them.

“You okay?” Tifa’s pretty deep eyes swim in front of her. Her long dark hair falling over her shoulder and a bit on to Aerith’s face.

Ugh, she’s just so pretty, Aerith can’t stand it. Breaks out into a smile and surges up for a kiss. Tifa gasps against her lips and starts giggling with her, falls down on top of Aerith when her core can’t hold her up in her half sit position anymore.

“Ugh, I’m so weak.” She says against Tifa’s lips.

Tifa’s still laughing at her, shyly moves one of Aerith’s large curls to the side.

“I can help you with that you know. Just a twenty minute work out every day, you’ll see a difference.”

Aerith smirks and then whines, throws her arms exaggeratedly on the bed, “ _what_ , but then I have to worko-ut,”

“Think that’s the point.”

Aerith shrugs up at her, “meh, that’s what I have you for. You do all the work.”

Tifa just laughs some more and sits back, settling down next to her, legs gracefully bent over the edge of the mattress. Aerith pouts, she wanted to kiss some more.

Tifa’s actually more shy than Cloud. Doesn’t initiate, but she also doesn’t pull away from Aerith.

She’s sure poor Zack has to pull Cloud out of his shell sometimes. Tifa’s just…wary? Maybe she thinks Aerith will change her mind.

She’s only just kissed her two days ago.

They’d departed from the boys and picked a room _lots_ of doors down (They are kidding themselves if they didn’t notice that hungry look in Zack’s eyes) a few hours ago.

She’s exhausted her mana and totally passed out the second they got into their room.

Now she’s starving. Her stomach growls loudly just as she’s finishing up that thought.

Tifa bursts out laughing again, “Geez, I heard that missy. You wanna find some food? Cid mentioned there were kitchens.”

Aerith sits up, swings her legs once, twice, “think ShinRa was nice enough to stock them?”

Tifa shrugs, “wanna go see, I’m pretty hungry too.”

Really, she wants to do some more kissing and maybe some touching, but Aerith also doesn’t want to rush Tifa. So she pops up off the bed when Tifa heads for the door and follows her.

Doesn’t stop her from slipping up next to her side and twinning their fingers together. It takes a bit before they find their way to the kitchen on level 1, have to double back and head to the far right side of the ship. End up having a silly fake-argument about what the vague signs means. Has them in giggles and stitches the rest of the way.

The kitchen is _huge_ , right up against the hull of the ship, a large window spans the outer wall. Fluffy white clouds litter the blue sky for miles and miles. Takes up the whole window, the ship is so high up. Two long wooden tables sit against the thick glass. A miss match of random chairs surrounding them.

There are two large pantry’s on the far side, along with extra shelving that _is_ filled with food and ingredients. Even a massive fridge sitting darkly in the corner too. Must have had the workers living on the ship as it was docked, otherwise, Aerith can’t really see ShinRa thinking ahead when the ship wasn’t ‘finished’ for a few more weeks. Against the wall across from the window are rows of cabinets, a stove-top, oven, and a deep sink.

Everything is a bit too random and run-down, homely looking, for it to be ShinRa issued. She wonders if Cid had been living on the ship while it was in his possession. No memories float to her, so must just be this timeline then.

Or you know, probably cause past her doesn’t give a shit if the HIGHWIND has an old blender and half broken toaster. She laughs to herself. They step all the way into the kitchen, seeing even more windows down the side blocked from the door way, and more storage space too.

She notices Cloud immediately, he’s barefoot and armor-less. She doesn’t know why, he always seems younger and more innocent without the full SOLDIER get-up on. He’s got a pan on the stove, looks like some kind of meat is sizzling, and a bunch of other ingredients on the counter top next to him.

He’s reaching up on his tippy-toes (ugh, it’s so cute, he can’t reach) for something in the cabinet above him.

Zack’s bounding over to him with a large cutting knife in his hand. Mildly terrifying, with the blissed out happy grin on his face. He’s at least conscious enough to put the knife down on the counter before he slings his arms around Cloud’s shoulders and sways him back and forth.

“Zack, n-o, I need the-”

Zack’s pushing Cloud against the counter as he reaches up and takes down another frying pan and a small holder of cooking utensils. Puts the holder down on the counter.

He’s mean enough to step back a step and hold the pan up over his head.

Tifa snorts and they make their way over to them.

Cloud’s not annoyed like she expects, he’s actually trying not to smile, jumps at Zack to get at the pan. Zack just steps back and starts chuckling at him, sways back and forth, just out of Cloud’s reach. He’s not trying though, playing along with Zack and chases him until he huffs to hide a laugh and grabs at Zack’s waist.

Aw, they’re flirting.

“Gimme, Zack, otherwise you don’t get any food.” Cloud’s laughing even as he finally gets a chance to jump high enough and grab the pan.

Zack just flows after him and presses up against him as Cloud puts the pan on the back burner and moves to start chopping at some veggies.

Tifa clears her throat.

Aerith can’t stop the twinge of disappointment when Cloud tenses and she sees his guard come back up a bit. Retreats back into a more reserved posture and quiets his laugh, loses his smile.

Zack senses it and frowns down at him. It only seems to encourage Zack to tighten his arms around Cloud’s shoulders.

He smiles back at them anyway.

“Hey, you guys starving too? Cloud’s…uh, what are you making?” Zack pouts for no reason, leans his neck out and childishly smacks his chin down on top of Cloud’s head.

Aerith laughs again, so weird, they are being ridiculously cute and weird at the same time. Must be after adrenaline crash.

Tifa drops her hand and goes around to Cloud’s other side, gingerly takes the knife from Cloud while eyeing Zack. Shoos them away, “I’ll do this, you go turn that meat you’re over cooking.” She says.

Aerith laughs at Cloud’s pout, mumbles, “It’s not over cooking,” but he does what she says, lowers the heat and flips it. Zack still hanging off him and giving him wide eyes. He’s never more resembled a hyped puppy wanting attention. If he had a tail, it’d be wagging along with the pay-attention –to-me eyes.

Aerith takes their spot next to Tifa, twisting off scallion ends and picking out the veggie’s that look too close to going bad. It’s a nice flow, the four of them develop a system, moving back and forth and around each other.

Zack’s their go-getter, searches all the shelves and the fridge when they request more butter, or for more carrots. Gets the spices down when Cloud asks him quietly. He stays more reserved but Aerith doesn’t miss his tiny smile every time Zack comes back over with his fetched item and presses against him. Waits against Cloud until one of them commands him to do something else.

Half way in he gets distracted. Kunsel’s finally up, wanders his way into the kitchen. His wolf’s tail is down, black hair longer than it looks, cut unevenly. He looks much better, not so blood-lost pale and he’s not wincing or babying his side.

Good, even SOLDIERS that have slower healing still have better than normal people. Zack calls his name, even though Kunsel’s no more than a foot from him and diverts his mid embrace from Cloud to swinging an arm around Kunsel’s shoulders and pulling him around in circles.

“Geez,” Aerith says, he’s gunna make poor Kunsel sick, “he just got shot up, maybe go easy on him.”

Cloud tenses next to her, draws his attention away from the stove, “you got shot?”

Kunsel waves him off, manages to get an arm around Zack and locks him in a weird cross, shoulder to shoulder hold, “Nah, just a love tap. Reno was being chicken shit.”

Zack snorts and gives in, lets go and frowns at Kunsel, “that was not a love tap.”

“A scratch?” Kunsel amends.

“No, are you kidding. He _shot_ at you.”

“A bruise, at best.”

Zack’s frown is getting more stern, “That’s not funny, man, you a-”

“-are you okay?” Cloud cuts Zack off, stares at Kunsel intently. Aerith doesn’t miss the way Zack’s eyes widen in surprise.

Interesting. Cloud’s been pretty aloof with Kunsel since he’s just up and shoved his way into their little group. She’s had a suspicion he’s a little jealous of Zack and Kunsel’s friendship.

Kunsel’s smirking at him, like he wants to tease him, but his eyes are kind. He reaches out and ruffles Cloud’s hair, gets scoffed at and Cloud’s rolling his eyes and turning back to the meat searing.

“Don’t worry lil’ chocobo, I’m fit to fight another day.”

“Just for that,” Cloud points his tongs at him, “you don’t get any meat.”

“N-o,” there’s that similar Zack energy Aerith’s noticed. She shares a smile with Tifa and they try not to laugh, “Zack, don’t let him abuse me like that.”

It’s back to headlocks and shouting and chaotic tendencies that seem to linger in SOLDIERS. It’s nice, a welcome distraction as they fly back to Wutai and have to deal with…whatever Avalanche is up too.

She’s glad Kunsel’s with them, even if she’s got to flinch away from his and Zack’s flailing.

She’d been unsure at first. Never met him and he’s never been with them in any timeline she’s aware of.

But she likes him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mmmm, how's everyone feel about Rude/Reno, cause I like them being bros but also like, Rude's always, that's *my* partner. HA...ah, the Turks...
> 
> Yet again, you guys just keep getting more amazing! Sorry I hardly answered anyone this time around, shit I was writing this so fast. I felt so bad cutting it off right before the heist! 
> 
> A warning, one more chapter till the really, super creepy alien stuff starts happening-dark and gory times guys. 
> 
> As always, see ya next time!
> 
> PS: I work a lot this week, so probably not another chapter till Friday, I'll shoot for Thursday. We'll see!


	19. Only Seeing Myself When I'm Looking Up at You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some fluff, cause you all know what happens after that....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, I hope everyone has a good weekend, cause next one its gunna be a horror filled time. :D
> 
> Happy Reading!

He died.

Didn’t really realize it until Gaia is reaching out for him to come home into the lifestream.

Angeal had been there waiting for him, slipping down to help him up from the parting clouds. Helped him up into the sky. For a second, Zack finally had his wings.

It hurt to watch Cloud struggling along alone, dragging his buster in the dust and the desert. He’d be alright.

He thought at first…Cloud’s bright-eyed and eagerness would help him survive. He’d be okay.

It hurts more, now that he sees how wrong he was.

Tucked in the warmth and safety of Gaia’s embrace, in her lifestream. Zack finally has his wings, can hear Angeal, and feel his grip over his shoulder.

And he wishes he wasn’t here.

It’s painful, more than he’d ever thought he’d feel. Seeing Cloud struggle.

_And struggle_

Alone. That’s the worst part, he thinks he’s alone. Zack tries to reach out to him, but there’s a block.

Cloud’s shutting everyone out, the longer he goes. The longer Nibelheim rots away in his brain. Zack should have fought harder, should have protected him more. Shouldn’t have died on the stupid, fucking cliff.

He didn’t think…it’d hurt this much.

And then Aerith’s soft presence is with him. Joins him in the lifestream, sadder than he ever wanted to see her.

“Oh, Zack.” She says to him, sad and happy and scared. All a jumble of too much.

Scared of JENOVA and of Sephiroth. Gaia tries to reassure her, there’s a way to stop him.

So they watch over Cloud together, watch him struggle, and nearly fail too many times to count. Zack still can’t get past whatever block is in his way. Just has to watch and hate that he just went and died on Cloud.

At least he has Aerith here to comfort him now. He’s missed her, felt bad, about leaving her behind.

He thinks he could have fallen in love with her. She giggles near him.

“Not me,” glances over with a tender smile, “as sweet as you are, I think there’s someone else you could love even more.”

He snorts at her, kicks a bundle of lifestream spores her way, makes her laugh, and chases the sadness from her soul. Nah, he loves her, can’t really see what she means, someone else. She’s so beautiful and free-spirited.

Not until years later, when Zack realizes, he’s been hovering around Cloud all this time. For years, checks in on him every time the sun warms his spot in the lifestream. Hits him hard. He feels his soul throb with a sadness so old, it passes through time.

He’s never realized…until right now. It’s him, Aerith meant, his _someone else_ and it’s too late now. Hurts him more than he could ever imagine. He stares at Cloud from the sky, a little older, a lot more damaged and sad, unable to get to him.

He’s so broken, shoved everyone away from him. Just wanders alone, all across Gaia and her healing earth. Cloud stops by his buster sword the most, where he’s shoved it into the cliff Zack died on all those years ago. At least twice a week feels like even more. It’s hard to tell time that short in the lifestream, but Zack feels Cloud linger in the spot he had died.

This time, Cloud comes to his buster, weak, and nearly done in. Collapses before he can reach it, just a few more steps. He’s injured. Giving in.

“Oh no,” Aerith says, her soul getting stronger next to his, she’d been away, 'Gaia needs me', she'd said. She's been gone for almost a year.

Zack can’t say anything or do anything. Still, there’s a block. He wants to go to Cloud, so badly, stop him from hating himself. So strong, Zack can taste the bitterness of it in his mouth. Cloud hates himself, blames himself for everything that’s happened, for everyone that’s died. He wants to give in and die, just…drift away.

“Cloud.” Zack forces against the wall and it cracks, just a little bit.

He finally gets it to crack enough to slip through, just as Sephiroth is hijacking Kadaj’s body and piercing Cloud through with Masamune.

It darkens Zack’s entire soul, to see Cloud struggle to get up, falls back down too many times, after barely even moving. He’s hurt badly. Zack should have realized from the start, should have been there more for him. Should have loved him.

His mind now…so damaged and weak. Soon, his body is going to reflect it.

“Come on Cloud, you can beat him,” Zack tells him, “you have before.”

Many times before, how…there must be a way, to rid Sephiroth from Cloud for good.

“There’s not,” Aerith says from above him, “I’ve looked…..”

Sephiroth’s not the problem…it’s JENOVA.

“Maybe, Zack, look. I think maybe HOLY will work now.” she wanders off, farther into the lifestream.

Zack stays close by Cloud, just in case. Watches him struggle and ache, but he still wipes the floor with Kadaj’s hijacked body.

“Yeah, that’s it Cloud, I knew you could do it.”

Still gotta do something about that geo-stigma in his arm. Zack follows Cloud while he waits for Aerith. Tries to push how proud he is of him through the air and the sky. But, that wall is still up halfway.

Zack huffs, “come on Gaia, help him out a little,” he says, “He’s getting his ass kicked saving you again.”

Ultimately, that’s what it is. JENOVA is a threat to Gaia and Cloud’s the only one fighting it. Aerith only pops in to tell him she’s found it and then her soul is drifting even farther away.

He huffs into the lifestream, she keeps leaving him. Angeal’s laughter floats to him, Zack hasn’t heard from him in a while. Usually just silent lurking, his soul, pretty similar to when he was in his body. Of course, he only checks in on Zack when Aerith’s running circles around him. Still, even in the afterlife.

He waits for her to come back. Days of Cloud getting worse and hiding from everyone. Back to his buster sword for a while. Heads down to slum 5, for the church. It must be flowers he's headed for, the same ones that Aerith still looks in on.

They call her back to Cloud and Zack's soul hovering near. She heals the waters with what she’s found, in turn, cures the JENOVA geo-stigma. It’ll be slow, but eventually, everyone will feel the relief. Aerith sighs and slips down into her church. Zack follows, but he can’t get too close yet. Hovers in the doorway.

Still got that last bit of wall blocking him from Cloud. So he yearns and aches as Aerith brushes her soul among her flowers, lingers long enough to wave at Cloud with a soft smile.

“Don’t worry Cloud, I never blamed you.”

Neither did he.

The wide-eyed look Zack catches as Aerith comes back to him when Cloud sees him lingering.

It follows Zack for _years._

He starts to fade more, in the lifestream. Forgets about things during his first time on Gaia. Can’t remember what SOLDIER means, or who had raised him. Starts to forget what Angeal sounds like, his soul has long since become one with Gaia again.

Aerith’s still pretty close to the surface, she keeps going back to check in on…people. Zack can’t really remember. She’s a Cetra anyway, easier for her to pull away from Gaia and flow in the spirit of the planet.

There is one thing he still sees clear in the sunlight rays.

Blue eyes, so pretty. They glow a bit, Gaia’s touched his soul. Mako? He thinks that’s the word. They stare at him, with a look that Zack can’t forget. He visits those eyes frequently, even though it’s getting harder to pull himself away from Gaia’s embrace.

They are a lot closer today…

Right here, fluttering their long lashes at him. Shouldn’t be so close, or that detailed.

_Cloud._

“Z-Zack?” ah, he sounds so sweet. Zack’s missed him.

“Cloud,” he can touch him this time, means…means he’s died. His soul is in the lifestream.

Zack can’t help it, not when all the memories come rushing back and _damn_ , does it feel amazing to hold Cloud again. He’s older, got little crinkles around his eyes, but he’s still just as beautiful. Zack holds him close, a new soul in the lifestream makes it easier for Zack to pull back from the depths.

Cloud’s crying, face buried into his shoulder. That’s okay, he can deal with that. They’ve got forever to spend together now. Zack holds him close, feels like for days. They only break apart when Aerith’s shoving her way to them, panic and nearly shouting.

“Oh no, Cloud, I’m so sorry, I tired.” She’s saying.

Cloud frowns, looks at her a little blankly.

And then he starts to fade. What, how? That’s not supposed to happen. His soul belongs here, with him and Gaia, with the lifestream.

“I’m sorry,” Aerith’s crying, “I’ll find a real way, I’ll stop her-it, I’ll stop it!” she calls after Cloud’s fading soul.

Zack doesn’t understand. Where is Cloud going? Gaia is this way, closer to him. Does he…not want to be with Zack?

He can’t remember.

He thinks some more time passes, a _long_ time. He used to have a name, but it’s not coming to him.

He still misses the color blue though. That never leaves his memory. So pretty, the color of the sky.

“Zack!”

Mm, that’s a weird word. Oh, there’s…Aerith? Right, right. He knows her. She’s that pretty Cetra that always comes poking around.

“Zack, I found it, a way to _really_ stop JENOVA, but I need your help.”

O-h, that’s his name. His name was Zack. Kind of a stupid name, he wonders who gave it to him. Aerith’s shoving something at him, a little glowy orb. It’s tiny. He can hear Gaia’s whispers swirling inside it. Looks like there’s a galaxy on the inside.

“What’s this?”

Aerith’s happiness bristles around him, “A way to stop JENOVA. Gaia made it for me. I only get to use it once, so we have to be careful what timeline we pick for the final time.”

Wait, wait, we? Timeline? Zack doesn’t recall any of this.

“Timeline, JENOVA? What…” Can’t she just leave him alone, there’s a spot of blue over there. He just wants to go be with it. 

“Zack, don’t you want to help Cloud?”

He gasps, he knows that name. It hangs on with the color blue. Brings the most beautiful eyes he’s ever seen to the forefront of his memory. He’ll do anything for those eyes.

“Yeah, of course I do,” Anything.

“He can’t merge fully with the lifestream Zack…his JENOVA cells, they’ve mutated. I…I thought I’d healed him, but the geo-stigma did something weird, changed. It wasn’t the end of her…it. _It’s_ coming back, stronger.”

None of that makes sense. But, now that he remembers correctly, he’s pretty distracted by those eyes. He hasn’t seen the real pair in…

He gasps, it’s been so long. Too many years, almost impossibly long.

“Zack…I need some of your soul.”

What…his soul? For Cloud and his beautiful eyes?

“Gaia said…it’ll work, with a strong soul. You’re the strongest I know. It’s been nearly a hundred years Zack and you still remember him, right? At least a little?”

A soft, low raspy laugh echoes around him. Yeah…he remembers him. Cloud. He’s in the sky all the time. So pretty.

“Okay,” he says, why not. Means he gets to see him again, right?

Aerith’s nodding at him, holds out the tiny materia to him.

“You’ll…I don’t know what will happen to you, Zack. Gaia…she told me, it’ll change you. She said this will make you stronger, change you, help you fight against JENOVA.”

If he gives some of his soul? Seems like it’ll weaken him instead.

Aerith shakes her head, “no, Zack. Gaia’s will honor you for your sacrifice, a bit of your soul. She can mend you; if you willingly give her a piece of you. When she's done with it, she can mend it back to you, stronger. And then…this materia. I can use it, Zack. To make sure we win, _somewhere_.”

“Okay, let’s go.” Back to Cloud? Yeah, let’s get a move on, he can’t wait.

***

Jessie, Wedge, and Biggs come crashing their meal time halfway through. All three of them are extra hyped, just like Zack and Kunsel. Actually, Cloud thinks he’s the only one not riding high. Even Aerith and Tifa have an odd vibrating kind of energy.

He’s not distracted anymore. They’ve finished their Avalanche mission and now that Zack’s anxiety has dissipated, Cloud’s got nothing to focus on.

Except for the cold, cold feeling that came over him when he poked into Sephiroth’s mind.

Keeps thinking its Nibelheim. Sephiroth’s got to be there, there are only a few other places on Gaia that cold but…

Nibelheim calls to him. It’s always calling to him. Cloud frowns down at his mostly empty plate.

Might just be ghosts from his anchor. Still, he has to go looking for Sephiroth. Can’t just sit around anymore. Even if he is terrified. And he is. Helps, that Zack thinks he can beat him, that they almost already have. But…Zack doesn’t see what he sees in the night. Doesn’t have what’s wiggling around in his head, under his skin.

A twitch…his left hand.

Feels like that is more than an anchor thing too.

Feels like, a warning.

Everyone around him bursts out in laughter, it jolts him from his mind. Brings his focus back just in time to brace himself as Zack crashes into him. Full body laughter, head tilted back, shaking from it, he’s laughing so hard.

Cloud blinks at everyone around him. It’s…a lot of people. He’s never had so many people be so comfortable with him. Like him.

It flusters him and he doesn’t know what to do with it. Sometimes, he’d rather be alone.

At least when he’s hurting and lashes out, all he has is himself. If he’s alone.

Shit…he adjusts his gaze, tries to keep his suddenly moody emotions from drifting towards Zack.

Doesn’t really succeed, could be his face that gives him away, he’s trying too hard to stay neutral. Stares down at Zack’s hands and forearm, only for them to disappear and wrap around his shoulders. Zack tugs him into his side, presses his lips to his temple, and mutters while everyone is still laughing.

“Okay, Beautiful?”

The nicknames only make him more flustered. He wishes he wouldn’t use them with their friends around. Even if they didn’t hear it this time.

It makes Cloud want things…and he only wants Zack to see him like that, not everyone else.

“ ‘M fine.” He says back. He is, just is getting too carried away in his thoughts.

Needs another distraction, preferably not an anxious Zack this time. That had…not been hard to deal with, harder to see. Zack’s usually so put together, takes a lot to crack him and Cloud's not good at knowing what other people need. At least this time he did okay. Zack's back to his easy smile, his hands don't jitter with panic.

All his energy is zapped suddenly. He wants to just be with Zack. He must feel it in their link, he’s shoving back his chair, yanking Cloud up by his arm.

“We’re gonna walk off some of that food, learn the ship better.” He tells everyone.

Jessie snorts, “yah, like you two really need to walk off food. I know that wasn’t enough for you, after all that ruckus.”

It would have been, Cloud had only gathered enough for the two of them. He didn’t expect Tifa, Aerith, and Kunsel to all make their way to the kitchen at the same time. Or as loud, Cloud was all set for just spending the day with Zack. He feels like he needs it after that mission.

Zack shrugs, “okay, then we’re going to go f-”

“Nope, n-o,” Cloud says, grabs at Zack’s biceps and yanks him, drags him half laughing and stuttering out of the kitchen and into the airship’s hallways.

Now he’s even flustered more. Even if it is probably true. Great.

“Aw, Cloudy-Sky, don’t be mad at me.” Zack’s got too much energy still, knocks into him from behind, and traps his arms against his body.

He’s not mad and Zack knows it, just wants an excuse to hang all over him. Cloud hopes he knows he doesn’t need a reason. He’s never really thought about it before since Zack so often lacks any kind of hesitation when touching him. Still, now that he’s thought it, grows in his mind. Zack knows…right? That Cloud always wants his touch, doesn't matter if its hard and fast, looking for intimacy or just a stupid brush against their arms when they walk.

He wiggles a bit to get his arms unpinned, twists to loop them around Zack’s shoulders and pulls him closer.

“I’m not mad.” He says, way later and entirely too serious when Zack was just playing around.

Awkwardness, he’ll never leave it behind completely. Just a side effect of realizing things at odd times. He’s always been just a step behind, even in his own thoughts. Zack's smile turns amused and gentler. Tightens his arms around Cloud until he gets a half-fake wince from him. Lets go with a little laugh.

“Wanna actually look around? If I get lost in here one more time.” Doesn’t finish his thought, but its meaning lingers in the air.

“Hm.” Cloud nods. Zack tugs at his arm down the hall.

It’s still early in the day, but it starts to go by fast as they do end up getting lost, more than once, with more than one bickering match about how to get un-lost. It’s still fun, following Zack around and seeing what is actually finished and what isn’t. Most of level 1 deck is done, but only about half the 2nd deck is fleshed out and ready for use.

They only see workers and the ships ‘crew’ when they stumble into the stern of the ship on the bottom deck. Zack wanted to try and sneak onto the lower lookout deck and watch the clouds fly by.

They get chased away with hard glares and Cid rounding the corner cursing at them.

"I told ya, get the fuck outta here," he snips. It just gets Zack laughing.

"Isn't he supposed to be flying the ship?" Cloud says, he was unaware an unfinished airship has autopilot.

Zack laughs harder and falls against him, pulls him along, and out of earshot from Cid. It takes them longer to get back up to deck 1, only cause Zack keeps shoving him against walls every other hallway and kisses him until a noise breaks them apart. They’ve finally wandered back up with evening arriving, Cloud can’t really believe they spent most of the day just walking around and making out on an airship.

Weirdly comforting, all these normal-ish days they have, in between all the Avalanche chaos and the running from ShinRa. Cloud used to hate normal. Normal was his childhood, boring, long days in the summer heat, or the freezing winter. Chores and then sitting alone in his room, or walking the perimeter of the forest line until his Mother came calling for dinner.

Hated it so much and now he’ll never have it again.

A twinge in his chest hurts more than he wants. She’s dead. They all are. Been dead for five years.

Cloud blinks away the wetness in his eyes before Zack can catch on. Hurts way too much to look at Nibelheim too closely. For him…it’s still only been a few months.

For Zack a year.

Even with his memories nearly all back, he’s still all messed up and lost. Still has that open wound festering. He swallows and tries to focus on something else.

Zack leads him down a hallway adjacent to the ‘crew’ quarters they are sleeping in. Right into a massive empty room with comfortable seats and a window so big it spans the entirety of the hull wall. Leads out onto a minimal balcony, on the outside of the ship. Lookout rooms, like the top and bottom deck, for seeing around the outside of the ship.

Even from inside the room, the sky engulfs every way he can look. Zack’s memorized instantly, glances at Cloud to follow him out the glass doors just off to the right. The balcony is small, off of the observation deck, loops out and presses flush against the hull of the airship. Juts out from the massive glass entrance on both sides. Zack goes to the corner and leans against the railing.

His eyes are wide and glassy, Cloud can see the stutter in his chest. The sky, takes his breath away. Zack’s completely enamored by it. Up here, this high, the clouds drift below them and the horizon line is the sun falling under a layer of them. Gives the golden sunset light an odd glowy, soft filter.

Zack looks…

Cloud finds his own air getting stuck in his lungs.

He looks gorgeous. Washed in the light, sun-kissed and tanned. Even with his back turned and his turtleneck on, the definition of his muscles sharper and contoured. Looks like he belongs up here, in the sky. He must feel Cloud staring at him, glances over his shoulder and-

Cloud’s never seen that smile on him. Peaceful and smooth, radiating a calm joy that clenches around Cloud’s heart. Zack shifts to face him, leans back against the railing, and just stares at Cloud as he stares at Zack.

It’s kinda funny, but Cloud doesn’t feel like laughing. Too drawn in and taken with Zack.

He looks even more devastating in the glowy light facing him. Eyes standing out against the framing of his dark hair. He’s got more, darker freckles speckled across his nose. An aura around him that echoes long summer days and easy, lazy warm nights. Calls Cloud to him.

He goes, quiet and slowly, he doesn’t want to shatter Zack’s contentment out here, among the sky and the breeze.

Zack’s gaze turns tender and longing as he crowds up to him, watches Cloud reach out and slip a hand around his waist, slide around to his back and lean softly against him.

“Cloud.” His voice is thick and low and sounds like he’s never known hardship in his life, “You’re…so beautiful,” breathes it out, lingering close to Cloud’s lips, as if it’s his only thought, his only breath left in his lungs.

Zack’s skin is warmed from the sun, a comforting pressure siding along his neck, thumb tickling his jaw. Cloud grips the fabric low against Zack’s back, trembles just once in anticipation of Zack closing the barely-there space between them.

Its…

He doesn’t know. It’s different, this kiss. The same as Zack always gives him. Tingling pressure that pulls warm low in his stomach. The smallest suction and easy sliding of their skin, wetter the longer Zack presses his lips on his. He opens Cloud up like normal too, gentle nudges of his tongue and slips inside his mouth with a small noise Cloud can’t hold in.

It’s how he always kisses him, tender and slow at the start.

But it’s different. Feels like…something’s changed. Something feels stronger between them, a pull, a need. Something, Cloud doesn’t know it. He’s never felt this.

It’s intense and tender and breaking Cloud apart and healing him all at once. How can it be _so_ different and the _same?_

Zack slides his hand down to his chin, pulls back with sticking skin and a slow inhale. Thumbs at Cloud’s bottom lip and flutters his eyes open to look at him.

Cloud’s not sure if it’s just him, is Zack feeling it too?

That look in his eyes.

That’s the look he only has for the sky and he’s giving it to Cloud.

His gasp is a switch for Zack. Cloud watches his pupils dilate, darken the mako in his eyes, gets them fiery and he’s grasping at Cloud’s jaw with both hands now.

Takes two quick, quiet gasps of air and he’s pushing back in against Cloud’s lips. More desperate. Shorter and stronger, starts sinking his teeth in, soothes instantly with his tongue. Backs Cloud up with every pull on his lips, until he’s pressed gently up against the warm metal hull of the HIGHWIND. Their bodies are pressed flush against each other and Zack’s dipping his knees to grasp at Cloud’s back thighs, hikes him up and slots in-between them as Cloud tightens them around Zack’s hips.

He’s mouthing at the junction under his jaw, really gets the flat base of his tongue lapping at his skin, teeth grazing against him in long, slow open-mouthed bites. There’s no sting, he’s being so gentle and yet, the pressure. It’s so good. Just hard enough to be more than tender.

Zack’s not talking like he normally does. He seems hyper-focused with a yearning need burning in him. Yet, he’s not rushing. Just, thoughtfully placed touches with purpose and intent. Cloud grips at his biceps, leans heavily back against the ship hull, and breathes slow and deep. He lets Zack work at his neck, under his jaw. Sighs with his wandering hands.

They just move against each other, no rolling of hips or rocking. Just a shift that slides them when Zack hikes him up for a better angle on his neck. A push of their torsos as a harder bite arches Cloud. Steadily builds the heat low in Cloud, as if they’ve been together for years and years and all they have is time.

Time to fall against each other, to dip in and rest. Just be.

That feeling, the different one…it's the entire universe crashing down into him; just him and Zack across all the stars and time streams.

Zack’s pulling back, finally letting his neck and jaw throb in the breeze and ache. Cloud wants him back there, soothing it.

Instead, Zack’s unbuttoning and unzipping his fly, gets his fingers underneath all his layers of clothes and grasps his cock. Zack strokes him with the same steady pace, same just-enough- pressure and stares into his eyes. The sun’s pretty low now, dusk surrounding them, Cloud can see a few stars peeking out in the navy sky, just behind Zack’s head. His eyes are still so fiery, glowing brighter as darkness descends upon them.

“Ah...hh,” his moan is quiet in breathlessness and relaxed, an easy sound pulling from him.

Just as easy as the building heat in him, in the easy slide of Zack’s hand. He wants more.

Zack’s giving it to him, in his lips and with his tongue, more long lusty kisses. It's not enough still, he always needs more from Zack.

If…if he asks.

“Zack…” he does so in between the breaks of their kissing, “can you…”

Zack stills against him, lets go of his cock to grasp at his hips. He’s breathing hard, waiting for Cloud to finish, a small smile spreading across his lips. It’s harder with him staring, easier when Zack was distracting him with his body. Cloud’s expecting his normal encouragement, gentle whispers, and waves of understanding in their link. Or a bailout, Zack’s overly sweet when Cloud falls back into bashfulness, just picks up where Cloud trails off.

Instead, Zack just slips his thumbs under Cloud’s shirt and rubs at his hipbones. He waits, warm between Cloud’s legs.

“…get inside me?” he doesn’t feel like it’s sexy, just…shy. He doesn’t think he’ll ever get over it, there’s a wall holding him back. Zack seems determined to slowly crumble it down and Cloud wants him too.

He’s barely got the words out and Zack’s pulling himself out of his pants, pulls Cloud’s down just enough to slip his cock between his ass cheeks. Zack’s dripping pre-come, so much of it and aching hard. He shifts them, slides Cloud up along the wall a bit more, grasps his own cock and smears some of his pre-come against his entrance.

Cloud starts breathing fast in anticipation, wants that stretch and burn. Zack fills him so good, always just a little too tight, he’s so thick. Zack pushes right in with his cock and with his tongue, shoves deep inside Cloud, with his mouth too. Swallows the loud moan from Cloud.

They’ve fucked too often with too little wetness, Cloud’s tender and it burns more than normal. He needs Zack’s tongue in his mouth to distract him, reaches up, and pulls him in back in when he moves away.

“Easy,” Zack mumbles against his lips, “am I hurting you?”

Not really, Cloud likes the burn, even with the sharpness of it this time. Cloud nips at his lips for an answer, doesn't sting as much when he's kissing him. Zack bottoms out, his cock stuffed in all the way. He doesn’t thrust or even start his normal go-to; deep, _deep_ hip rolls up into him.

No, he just…rocks their bodies back against the hull, small little movements.

Cloud would say not enough, normally. But the head of his cock is pressing right against the spot inside him that’s always too much too fast. Zack never moves away from it, instead just is a constant pressure of hard and harder.

It’s quickly pushing Cloud into a haze and the longer Zack holds him against the hull of the ship and rocks in him, more pre-come slips from his cock, starts getting Cloud slicker inside. The burn fades and there’s only the constant press of Zack’s cock.

That universe exploding in him feeling just gets stronger. Cloud still doesn’t really understand what it is, just knows it’s bringing him closer to Zack, solidifying them together across the stars.

“So beautiful,” Zack’s breathes out, pressing their foreheads hard together and just stares deeply in his eyes.

He is too…Cloud can never say it, it’s all wrong in his own voice. But Zack’s so gorgeous. Soft dark hair, it’s longer than ever now against his sun-kissed skin, brightens his eyes so much. Strong bone structure under his smooth skin. Everything about him is just like the sun, warm and bright and Cloud craves it so much. He’s the only light when he’s losing to his darkness.

Zack stays deep in him for a long time, a steady pace, until the moon is drifting past his head and all the stars are shimmering at them. Cloud can see it, the arm of the galaxy, haloed behind Zack. Makes that mako in his eyes seem more like little bits of stardust.

Zack pulls out for one hard thrust and stutters his hips. Pushes Cloud into tensing, tightens his arms around Zack, and shakes as he comes against him. He can’t moan, he can’t even gasp, just has to try and push the air from his lungs.

Zack hasn’t come yet, hips moving more intensely, pushing up and in, trying to climb farther inside Cloud. He’s so close though, the trembling coming out in his breathing. Cloud’s over-stimulated, even from the more mild, steady fucking. Zack knows how to get him there every time. It’s too much, makes him squeeze around Zack’s thick cock. Gets the urge to reach up to tuck his strand of hair behind his ear. Can't seem to stop it recently. So he does, brushes against his temple with the back of his knuckles after.

Zack comes from that soft touch, letting out a stuttering moan, floods inside Cloud, and stays in him until he softens too much and slips out.

The universe won't leave him, swirls and collides all inside him, vibrates, and then starts to settle in his bones. He relaxes all shaky and loose limbs against the metal hull. Barely manages to rest his palm against Zack’s cheek, strokes his thumb along the top of his cheekbone.

Zack’s holding him up with one arm. Slips his other one on top of Cloud’s hand and nuzzles his face into his palm. Breaks into a sunlight smile, even in the darkness of night.

“Seriously, so fucking beautiful,” he says softly into the breeze. It’s getting colder now that they aren’t rutting against each other.

“Zack.” Seems to be the only thing Cloud can ever say. His name.

After so long not being able too, stuck in that stupid coma. He thinks it’s the only thing he’ll want to say for a long, long while.

Zack leans in for a kiss, lingers, and says, “You gotta quit lookin at me like that.”

He doesn’t know what Zack means about the looks, but the more time goes on, the longer Cloud is with Zack, he doesn’t ever want his touch to leave him.

***

He only remembers the PHS’s Cissnei gave to Cloud after leaning back against the headboard of the bed, Cloud curled in at his hip, drifting lightly between sleep and afterglow. Zack’s been pretty relentless with him, every chance they get, ever since escaping Midgar. Can barely keep his hands to himself with the others around.

He should really ease up, Cloud’s never pushed him away, but Zack keeps taking all the little energy he’s got left. He’d winced too hard in pain this last time, too raw. Still doesn’t stop the longing in his chest. Even now, Cloud’s face pressed against his thigh, arm across his lap, Zack wants to shift him onto his back, press his way inside him again.

Just…can't shake the desperation. They are spiraling faster and faster away from normal, getting tossed back into fighting and secrets and…

He’s been dumb, to think he’d ever be free of SOLDIER. They are too mixed up in this, set on destiny’s track.

Aerith’s proof of it. Always them, getting sucked into this JENOVA and Sephiroth mess, all timelines.

Zack can’t figure out. If it’s the universe trying to help them or stop them. If Gaia wanted to be saved so badly…a little more help would be nice, some direction. Without it, they could spend their whole lives fighting ShinRa, fighting JENOVA.

Zack needs an end to this, some indication other than Aerith repeating this is the final timeline. What if it’s not?

He sighs, blinks away his zoned out stare, and focuses on the PHS’s across the room. That’s right, he’d forgotten about them.

Cloud’s arm twitches on his lap, seems to lock and shake before jerking so hard he startles from his dozing.

“Hmph?”

He’d laugh, Cloud’s confusion is so endearing, all blissed out, but that arm twitch isn’t funny. He should push Aerith into telling him, what is giving him that side effect. Zack rolls him onto his back, sliding his hand into Cloud’s left, knotting all their fingers together and squeezes. It doesn’t twitch so bad if he’s using it.

Cloud’s stare is still pretty foggy, heavy-lidded, and just missing Zack’s face. He’s shifting and parting his thighs for Zack to slip between.

“Again?” he murmurs, and _yeah_ , Zack always wants to. For lust, for comfort, for just…being with Cloud. Lucky…he’s just so lucky to have Cloud. That he understands Zack’s touch is _always_ more than just sex and desire.

Zack’s definitely been overzealous. Cloud’s wincing, his gasps are filled with too much ache, just from the small shift of his hips. Besides, it’s nearing midnight and the humidity that constantly hovers around Wutai is seeping into their room, the hallways. They must be close to the Avalanche base.

He does pull Cloud into a deep kiss and rubs at his hand until the twitching only happens in his thumb.

Zack squeezes his hand one more time, before rolling off the bed and grabbing the two PHS’s from the nightstand.

He doesn’t leave Cloud by himself, just tosses one PHS next to him, and climbs back over him. Cloud stops him with a raised thigh from leaving his lap, tilts his head at him, and rests his hands high on Zack’s thighs.

He wants him to stay hovering over him; Zack bites his lip to keep his smile small. He boots up the PHS in his hand, leans down, and pulls a wet kiss from Cloud. Gets that flush going on his cheeks and he can’t help it. Pulls the camera app up and snaps a picture of him.

“Zack…” Cloud’s trying pretty hard to glare through his hot and bothered stare.

“I’ll delete it,” Zack chuckles, “you just look so good,” leans down for another kiss, “got the prettiest fucked out face.”

That really overdoes it, _whoops_ , no dirty talk unless Cloud’s already in a haze. He’s shying away from him and tries to curl his body in, ends up just trapping Zack between his legs. Zack laughs, deletes the picture, but he’s sneaking a bunch of other ones when Cloud’s not paying attention later.

He leaves Cloud to gain control over his shyness for his PHS. It’s way different then Zack is used too, all touch screen and glowy. It's got all new apps on it too, some things he's not sure of, this PHS isn't like his old one at all.

Right away, the fear of being tapped into ShinRa’s server is silenced, sees it’s linked to its own after poking around on it. Still a ShinRa one, just not the main one. Probably can add more numbers if they join the server. Right now, looks like he can only contact the PHS next to Cloud, Cissnei’s.

He brings up the messaging app and types out a small text to test if these PHS’s really do work.

Zack: _You could have told me!_

He doesn’t bother waiting, it’s late and if Cissnei’s not running around ShinRa she must be sleeping off her chaotic week. He presses the little mail icon in the corner. Weird, these ones are so weird.

He lowers his PHS, looking right smack at the back of Cloud’s, the little light flashes at him.

The little shit, he just took a picture of him.

Cloud’s little smirk says just how proud he is of himself. Zack snorts, toss his PHS to the side and slides his hands up Cloud’s ribs. Gets his lips back on his pretty mouth. He’s dropping his PHS to his chest with a muffled moan, hands going into Zack’s hair.

They don’t have to fuck, but he’s going to make sure that dazed look lingers as long as possible.

***

It’s funny, how they’ve only been out of Wutai for a few days, but the humidity fogs everything up and makes her break out in a light shine almost instantly. The HIGHWIND is hovering slowly, Cid placing her down nice and slow onto the flattest grass filed just next to the command building at the Wutai base.

She sighs with relief as they almost touch the ground. She’s only just gotten used to looking up at the open endless sky, but she really didn’t think she’d be flying around in it so soon.

Still can’t really get over that it’s frightening to her. The sky. Just makes her miss her flowers more.

They could help her talk to Gaia better too. The grass is too young and there are no trees for miles around the base. She needs help with her HOLY materia. She knew something was wrong with it, there is in every timeline, but this time…

It’s not Sephiroth in the lifestream blocking its abilities. More like there’s a part missing, feels lighter than it should. She doesn’t like the way it keeps dimming every day either. Puts her fear right at the front of her mind, does it mean something? Does it mean they are running out of time?

She tries for more memories but nothing. Oddly, she feels more alone without the once constant flow of them. Just adds to her fear too.

Is it failing? The PARALLEL spell.

She hopes not, she’s really got no answers yet.

The only thing she has decided on, finally come to a decision. She can’t just wander around in her timeline memories alone. She needs help, she needs to let the others know.

It’s a risk, even more so with that body-hijacking incident. But, she needs help from her friends. Needs more than one mind figuring this out.

At least…Zack mentioned they could control it a little.

The HIGHWIND lurches as it locks down into place on the ground. She thinks she hears Cid cursing all the way from the top flight deck.

Aerith laughs into the warm breeze.

***

It’s well past midnight, but all of them are too wide-eyed and off-centered from lazing about all day, napping at odd times and generally just ignoring the hours clicking by. It’s not surprising to Zack, that Wutai Village is this busy in the early morning hours. It’s got a large night scene, milder and spread out then Wall Market, but it’s just as awake and lively.

Cid had kicked everyone off, yelling in the airships intercoms to ‘get the fuck off while we fix this place up’. It had jolted him and Cloud from their heavy make-out session.

No one had felt like going back to their dinky little barracks rooms, so Aerith just tugged on their arms the moment she found them standing around outside the ship.

For the first time, it’s actually better being in the village then being on base.

Kunsel determinedly leads them to eat at a place down the far end of the food district, complaining about the right type of midnight food. A little less healthy and a little bigger proportions, to really get that boost of energy going at three in the morning when they all start crashing.

Cloud’s already there, a step behind Zack’s wide strides, he keeps bumping into him too, off-balance a little. When they get to the restaurant it’s so crowded they have to sit in the outside seating. Zack quick steps ahead and picks the long bench table in the back corner. Straddles the far corner bench and lets Cloud slide in between the V of his legs so he can doze against him.

“Sap,” Kunsel teases him, but Aerith and Tifa fawning over sleepy Cloud cuts him off.

Zack orders something small for Cloud if he decides to stop half-sleeping. Gets cooed at again and Kunsel snickers at him, makes a whiplash noise. Zack kicks him lightly in the shin.

It starts a stupid shin bashing match that they don’t stop even when their food arrives. Tifa’s gotta grab at Kunsel’s shoulder and glare at Zack over the table.

“Stop with the footsie, you’re shaking the table too much.” Her drink has spilled over a little to pool around her tall glass.

Whoops.

Even to this day, Zack kinda forgets he’s got enhanced strength. Just so used to it and being around other SOLDIERS more often than non-mako-enhanced people doesn't help. He still slams doors too hard when he’s way hyped. At least he didn’t disturb Cloud, he’s still dozing against his shoulder.

“Look at that,” Aerith days, points her spoon at Cloud and him, “doesn’t even wake up with all that jostling.”

“Yeah, bro, that last kick was kinda hard even for me,” Kunsel says.

Cloud frowns, flutters his eyes open for a second to huff, “-stop with the bro-” he mumbles and goes right back into his sleep.

Tifa bursts out laughing, “I think Wedge is giving him a complex.”

“- Sure, he’ll wake up to that-” Kunsel says.

Aerith’s giggling into her food, “you haven’t heard Wedge call him ‘bro’.” she mouths it, like Cloud will get triggered again.

“He is rather aggressive about it.” Tifa’s still smiling at Cloud.

They get halfway through their early hours' meal when Zack’s PHS lights up and buzzes in his pocket.

He’d been so used to his flip-up one gone; he didn’t realize it was his at first. The text message is floating at the top of the screen; he doesn’t even have to tap it to read. Huh, really got far in upgrading these in the five years he’s been missing in action.

Cissnei: _Sorry, don’t be mad._

Yeah _okay_ , don’t be mad Zack. She just booked it outta there with the Turks and no word if she’d just busted Cloud up or not.

“I’m sorry, did Cissnei give you that and you didn’t tell me?” Kunsel looks half offended, reaches over and grabs it from the spot on the table.

He gives it back quickly, punched his number in, and takes a stupid picture of himself.

“ _Thanks_ ….” Zack says, he’s even put it as his screen background. Seems even dumber looking at him when Zack _just_ watched him make that face. Gets funnier too, he snorts.

“You think she’s okay, being back there?” Kunsel asks.

She must be, Rude and Reno didn’t seem to give any indication they thought she had betrayed them. Must have helped draw suspicion that Zack had looked so enraged.

“She better be,” Cloud mumbles against Zack’s shoulder.

Not as asleep as he thought then.

“Mm, why’s that?”

He sits up some more, blinking his tiredness from his eyes and looks around the table at everyone.

“Said she’d try and get intel from Rufus.”

Kunsel snorts, “not likely, he’s so tight-lipped. I couldn’t even figure out what he’s after. Just that he’s making weird moves with the company.”

Zack doesn't have any insight either, Rufus has been a major wild card at ShinRa, half the time he’s on the companies side, the other half just running wild with his daddy’s money.

Or all his money now.

“Materia.” Cloud says, “she told me, he’s looking for materia.”

He gets a long silence in answer, makes him prickle up at it, and huffs.

“What kind?” Tifa says, she’s reaching over the table and softly scooting the food Zack ordered for Cloud at him, “I thought ShinRa makes their own materia nowadays.”

Kunsel nods, “they do. What’s there to go looking for?”

Aerith’s been too still and quiet. Zack wonders if she knows, from a memory, or just even being trapped in ShinRa half her life.

“Meteor.” She says.

What. Meteor? Zack tries not to be obvious that he looks up in the sky for it. He’s already realizing she’s not talking about one in the sky. Gets the 'are you this dumb' looks anyway.

Cloud goes too still and his breath gets quicker, he tries to hide it.

“Are you okay?” Aerith’s worried eyes are focused on him.

No static in their connection, just an odd reaction? Zack touches the small of his back in reassurance.

“Mm,”

“No Sephiroth?” Aerith’s pretty direct, he knows Cloud can handle it, but doesn’t stop the protective urges surging up in him.

Cloud shakes his head, frowns some more and Zack pokes into their link. Gets a weird out of body feeling and a far off cold, open space of nothing. Hears a roaring he’s never heard before.

“Cloud?” he asks.

“I-I’m fine. Just, thought I remembered…”

A time memory? Cloud’s not supposed to be getting those. Zack frowns even more and glances at Aerith. It’s not reassuring that she looks even more worried.

“Wait, hold up, Sephiroth-and what now?” Kunsel asks, “Are you telling me he really was just up and freely zombie walking around HQ?"

“Oh, that’s right. You're new.” Tifa says, with a tiny 'poor guy' smirk on her face.

None of them really want to dive into the hour-long explanation of who Aerith really is, or what the hell is happening with Sephiroth. Or even all the ShinRa-Hojo-JENOVA bullshit. Zack sighs. It'll just lead down into Nibelheim and everything Cloud and Zack had been avoiding.

“She’s a Cetra, I’m a weird-ass anchor to a time materia and JENOVA’s trying to kill the planet with Sephiroth’s kinda alive corpse body.” Cloud rushes out all at once.

It’s impressive, how well Kunsel can just roll with the punches. Only blinks his sharp navy eyes twice at Cloud, glances at Aerith, and just shrugs.

“Kay, so what you are guys hunting dead SOLDIERS then?”

“Trying too.” Zack says, not that they’ve even really started, “kinda having a rough start.”

“Sounds like materia now too.” Tifa edges Cloud’s food at him some more until he rolls his eyes and starts picking at it.

“Speaking of,” Aerith reaches behind her head, slips off her little pin clip keeping her bow in her hair, “I have a problem.”

She holds her hands out, a smaller than normal materia is glinting in the soft lanterns of the restaurant, secured at the end of her hair clip. Her HOLY materia? The one she was so panicked about when that girl stole it.

The one she won’t tell him about.

“Wait, Aerith, are you sure you-”

“-Yes,” she cuts him off, “you both need to know. It’s not fair that I’m keeping you in the dark.”

She’d been so hesitant before, what changed?

“What about Sephiroth?” Cloud asks quietly. Draws a hush over all of them and the atmosphere has changed.

Tense. A fleeting uncertainty.

“I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of being scared of Sephiroth.”

Cloud doesn’t react, but their connection blows up with a mass of emotions too hard for Zack to pick out.

“So what’s this problem then?” Kunsel asks, he must still be confused by half of what they are saying. Determined to figure it out on his own though, Kunsel’s always like that. Too smart and stubborn for his own good.

“It’s…not working. See how it’s dimming?” it does look less bright, even from the few minutes pulling it out of her hair, “I know there’s a way to fix it. Just, I don’t know where the solution is.”

That’s not helpful at all, she's still being vague. Zack sighs, “Aerith, out of all of us, you’re the one with the most info. How are we supposed to help?”

She shrugs, doesn’t seem deterred by Zack’s frustrated attitude.

“Maybe it’ll spark a memory, or something. All I know is there’s another materia that can fix my HOLY, I just can’t see where it is.”

“So, we really are going to be hunting materia too,” Cloud says.

They all stare at each other. Yet another thing to figure out. It’s a long list of things to do with no way to start.

Zack feels that up-too-long wave of sleepiness, sees it crash over everyone all at the same time. Except for Cloud, now he’s wide awake. Good, he can hold Zack up as he leans on him then. There’s a lull in the restaurant and the night sky is starting to hint at dawn coming. They need to get back, rest for a bit before resetting their sleep cycle with a long day of being tired ahead of them.

Lost in their own heavy thoughts, they slowly make their way out of town. It’s a testament to how tired he is, that he doesn’t notice the creepy prickling feeling on the back of his next until they are almost at the southern gate entrance.

They are being followed.

He brushes more intently against Cloud, pushes through his mind as clear as he can ‘something’s wrong, someone’s following us.’ He doesn’t think the words bubble up clearly, but the feeling must be strong enough, Cloud tenses as much as him and slowly reaches for his fusion sword. They don’t want to alert the others, glance at each other, and slow to an almost stop. Behind one of the last buildings they need to pass, they both see it. A tiny shadow movement. Zack nods his head to the right, ‘go around’ he thinks hard.

Cloud nods and just goes right for the person, scare them into rushing back towards Zack. It works too well, whoever it is, they are not very good at going undetected. Zack’s still half asleep and he caught on to them. A young, loud yelp echoes off the building, and Zack’s getting crashed into seconds later.

He grabs at her-

-oh, it’s the stupid thief girl, Yuffie?

“Are you kidding me.” He says, tightens his hold on her upper arm.

“Hey-get y-your hands off me ShinRa!”

“You’re the only following us,” Cloud says, he’s a bit more intimidating, hanging back half in the shadows, his eyes glowing with bright mako.

Yuffie flushes and tries pulling away again.

“I knew I recognized you,” she completely ignores Cloud, frowning hard at Zack and tries to pull away again, "You were here during the war."

Zack knows her too. Lied before. How could he not? That mission…Angeal had really let Zack cut lose and it had been a mistake. He was young and too eager and too aggressive in his certainty for ShinRa. He’d killed a lot of people that mission. _A lot._

“What gives?” Cloud says again, steps out from the shadows. Yuffie’s blush just deepens. Yeah, a little crush is right, Zack had seen it back at Corneo’s place.

“Don’t even think about stealing our materia again.”

She huffs at the both of them, “Actually, I was following you for your own good.”

They glance at each other, a little amused.

“Our own good, huh?” Zack asks, doesn’t let go, but he does loosen his grip.

“I heard you, at the restaurant, talking about material hunting.” Great….

“So, doesn’t mean you should be following us.”

She puffs her cheeks out at both of them, starts getting hot-headed, “yes it does, I can help! I’m great at finding materia.”

Help…she doesn’t even know them. Stole from them and…she knows Zack, no matter how nice he was and let her go back then, he had still cut down people she knew, maybe even someone from her family. He pushes it away, the screaming in his head. The burning fire Angeal had let him light among the buildings. Just the beginning of the destruction ShinRa unleashed on Wutai.

“No, we don’t need help from a kid,” Zack says, feels his face set into a hard expression. It’s hard not too, when Wutai does this to him, just brings war and Angeal to his thoughts.

Cloud seems more interested, tilts his head at her, and does his ‘I’m listening’ hip shift.

“Why, you hate ShinRa.”

Yuffie hesitates, “you’re not really ShinRa, I know you’re from that rebel base, south of the town.”

Had she followed them before and Zack didn’t notice? If that’s the case, it’s not his sleepiness that’s hindering his senses.

“What makes you so sure?” he asks.

“My father, he’s the Village leader, I know he cut a deal with Avalanche to help get back our glory from Midgar.”

That's why she wants to help. Maybe take the materia they are looking for. She goes really still and sullen then.

“…That girl…with the pink dress. She knows me.”

So, sweet Aerith too then, always the one drawing in new additions to their team. Zack finally lets her go.

“What makes you think you can help us find materia?” Cloud asks.

She changes completely, gets a cocky spring in her body, and reaches out to bop Cloud on the nose. He steps to the side with an annoyed grunt.

“I am a materia finding master; I can feel the energy tingles when they are nearby.”

 _Okay._ Zack rolls his eyes at the same time Cloud does.

“What! I can, you’ll see, I’ll prove you wrong. I’m coming with you, you have no choice.”

No choice huh. Their girls and Kunsel finally realized they had taken a mini field trip, double backing from the gate and rushing back to them.

“-That is not funny guys, you scared us-oh, Yuffie.” Aerith’s scolding whisked away by the teenager’s presence.

“See!” Yuffie points rudely at Aerith’s face, “how do you know me?”

“U-h.” Aerith looks to them for help.

Zack just wants to get to a bed and sleep with his face shoved against Cloud. He sighs, probably going to regret this.

“She says she can help us find materia.”

Whatever timeline Aerith knows her from, it’s clear she likes her and _believes_ her.

So then…Yuffie is not as crazy as she sounds. Aerith’s grabbing at her wrist, a tried smile on her face, “really? You know, you’ll be with a bunch of crazy SOLDIERS.”

Yuffie shrugs, purposely doesn’t glance at Cloud. Major crush happening, apparently, that’s enough to forgive being a ShinRa mutt. Just being cute. Zack huffs.

It’s still jarring, that Aerith seemingly knows strangers that they are supposed to be friends with. So easily gets along with everyone and just envelopes them as if she’s known them her whole life. She’s just dragging Yuffie with her, chatting away and melting that fake-tough teenage attitude she’s carrying around.

So…now they are babysitting too. He finds it hard to believe Yuffie just can disappear for weeks on end without repercussions. And it will be weeks on end, if Cid’s hinting at their own rooms on his ship is true.

“You know what, Cloud,” he says as Yuffie falls into giggles with Aerith and then flushes a brighter red when Kunsel gets introduced to her (oh now _there’s_ a crush expression) “I really think we have no control over anything.”

Truly, something other than Aerith’s PARALLEL materia is interfering. Feels like the universe just whisking away their choices. Cloud shrugs, an oddly pleasing hum coming Zack’s way in their link.

“I have you, so-” The 'who cares' floats to him unsaid.

Just shoot him in the heart then. With those tender eyes and a soft smile on his lips. Cloud’s shyness is probably a good thing, otherwise, saying things like that constantly, giving Zack looks so sweet it aches, all the _time._

Devastating, he’d be devastating 24/7 and Zack already can’t handle it. 

“Aren’t you just the sweetest.” He says, pulls Cloud in towards him to wrap an arm around his shoulders and press a kiss to his forehead.

Cloud’s shoving him a bit before smiling into his neck. Slinks his arms around Zack’s waist.

“Guys!” Tifa’s calling for them, they are getting smaller and smaller in the distance.

Zack pulls Cloud along, slips his hand into his left one, and won’t let him go even as they re-join their group for the long walk back.

His shyness returns, but that sweet little smile stays the whole way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hoo-oohh, only missing MR.Vincent now. Don't worry, soon, he shall be here very soon. 
> 
> I'm gunna go cry at all the comments you guys left last chapter, I've been so busy i haven't read half of them yet! Geez, way to just shoot me in the heart. :)
> 
> See ya next time!
> 
> PS:I'm gunna go crash, I think only one chapter update next week, the urge to draw is too strong~


	20. Will You Still Love Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Old Towns and Weird things  
> *WARNINGS*  
> ALIEN GORE, GORE, CREEPY THINGS?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG, sorry you guys. It's been like a whole week!
> 
> Some of you know, I've been distracted by TURK!CLOUD. I think I'll alternate every other week till that fic is done. Go read it if you guys are interested. :)
> 
> Okay Okay, I missed you guys!
> 
> Happy Reading!

Jessie watches Cloud and Zack wander off with the girls and their newly joined SOLDIER, towards Wutai Village. It’s hard to believe, she’d be surrounded with SOLDIERS this often in a rebellion. 

She’s glad for it. No way would they have been able to pull off that mission without them. Scary, how easily it went. Even with all those Turks in the way. 

“Jessie,” Biggs calls her, he and Wedge are patiently waiting halfway to the command center.

“Barret wants us for a meeting,” Wedge says, “Wish we were going with them for some grub.”

Jessie wishes so too. It hasn’t been hard, stepping up at the base. She’s just not used to it. She longs for Tifa’s little run-down bar and the easy nights of warm food and drinks. When it was just her and her guys, Wedge and Biggs. 

Silly, how just meeting one person can change everything in an instant. 

If she’d never meet her boys and Barret, she’d never been sitting anxiously in Tifa’s bar, years back. Younger and angrier. Wondering how a tiny group calling themselves Avalanche could really help her dad. 

Still has to get back to Midgar, he still needs her help. 

She’s just got to help out her newer boys first. 

SOLDIERS.

Jessie remembers during the war, all the hype, and the propaganda. The fear. SOLDIERS, the strongest protectors of Midgar, enhanced, powerful, fearless. 

It all turned quickly into reckless, insane, dangerous. The rumors, they started not long after the war. 

She shakes herself, bounces on her heels to wake up. It’s been a long night. 

It’s still funny though, she thinks, heading toward Biggs outstretched arm, how all the SOLDIERS she’s met. Not one of them is anything like those rumors. 

No, her SOLDIERS are a sad little mishap of trauma and stupid little smiles. 

“You worried about them?” Biggs asks her, slipping his arm around her shoulder. 

She rests hers on his waist in kind, a familiar warmth, and weight. She’s never been more grateful for him than now. Grounds her, all of them-Wedge and Barret, even more. 

“Nah, more worried about us. Boss didn’t look too happy stalking off our shiny new airship.”

He didn’t. She’s sure Barret is getting tired of answering to HQ already. He’s always butted heads with them. They said he thought too extreme. She thinks it was an excuse to shove him out. Barret was rising up in the ranks anyway, getting too many people thinking like him. 

Woke her up, to what Avalanche was heading towards.

War. 

They cared about the planet sure, about the effects Midgar’s greed was having. But Barret. He cared about people, about her and her anger and her pain. He wanted to save the planet, to save people. To end the immediate suffering that was so unnecessary. She remembers, when all he had wanted was revenge. Told them straight up, he wanted back at Midgar. Somewhere down the line, it changed. And then HQ got worried. So they cut him out, labeled him likely to blow their cover. To charge at the wrong time. 

She worries her lip and squeezes Biggs waist a bit tighter. A little knot in her stomach grows. 

Their tiny command center is dark. The wall full of screens and exposed wires has a soft glow. It takes a while, this far out from Midgar tech and from Wutai Village, for the power to kick on. The screens all flicker, out of sync with the lights. 

It illuminates Barret in grim shadows. Pushes the frown on his face more intensely.

“Bad news?” Biggs asks as the door clicks closed behind them.

It’s the four of them, just like it used to be. The air is thick around them and all the superior, ‘we’ve won one’ feeling rips right out of her.

Out of all of them.

“Not yet,” Barret says, crosses his arms and glances at the door.

It’s too late for anyone besides the members from the heist to be up, but they had lost nearly all of them. The cramp crew should be already back. Whatever this is, Barret is still nervous of someone overhearing. 

“Whatcha mean not ‘yet’,” Wedge air quotes at him. 

“It’s strange,” Biggs says, eyes intent on Barret, “why Avalanche wants an airship.”

“Not as strange as ShinRa wanting it.”

“Didn’t you hear that Turk though,” Jessie slips up onto the table, kicks her legs to get out some of her jitters, “I know you did Wedge, materia. Little baby ShinRa wants it to go legend chasing.”

As in, a shift then. Less focus on Wutai, if even at all anymore. 

“It doesn’t matter what ShinRa wants it for. We have it, what matters is what Avalanche is doin’ with it.”

“You say that..like we’re not Avalanche, boss,” Wedge says, worrying itching into his face.

Silence is their answer. 

Jessie felt this coming. Little by little. Their fellow Wutai members hadn’t warmed to their SOLDIERS. The added stigma of their splintering away from years ago still lingers on some of their faces. 

Outsiders, just a means to get what they want. And then what? Kick them to the curb again.

“I got a hunch. I’m sure you’ve noticed, haven’t been gettin’ along with HQ.”

Biggs snorts, leans back against the door, just in case someone comes waltzing in.

“What’s new, huh?”

“It’s different this time,” Barret turns from them. She catches the darker look crossing his eyes, narrowing his brows. 

“Different?” Wedge doesn’t seem to be understanding. 

Jessie does. 

“They’re gonna ask me to lead a mission, been hinting at it since we got here,” Barret’s voice starts to seep in that same darkness.

“Now that the airship is here…” She says.

“A full-scale attack, they want to take out Midgar.”

“All of it?” 

Barret nods. So then...the whole city….everyone. It’ll be hard, but not impossible, with the size they’ve grown. The airship is fast and can hold the most troops and members than either side has before. 

“Even the slums?” 

The sectors, the slums. Doesn’t matter. This is Wutai’s influence. The price of cutting a deal with them. 

It’s hypocritical, with their bombs, to say they won’t do what it takes to stop ShinRa. They’ve already sacrificed too many innocents, logically, Jessie can see how HQ would think they won’t have a problem with this. 

“It’s too many people.” She says, “we’re not doing it right? Please tell me ya said no.”

“What good does that do, we gave them airship.” Biggs bites out. All those kids...in Slum 5, the orphanage. 

Barret’s too quiet. Too calm. Is he….is he really considering?

“There’s something more important we gotta do.”

JENOVA, all of Aerith’s confessions. If they are true, then, it won’t matter what ShinRa does anymore, what Wutai does. What they do.

They need to focus on stopping Sephiroth and JENOVA. And the only ones doing that are their SOLDIERS, their small little rag-tag team of oddities.

She doesn’t get it. Knows Barret told them of what horrors await the planet. Do they not believe him? Aerith should speak to their leaders at HQ, they’d believe her. It’s impossible not to. The pain and regret in her eyes.

She’d sounded so broken and desperate in Kalm. For any kind of help, for anyone to believe her. 

How can Jessie not? She was at HQ with them, saw that JENOVA creature. Saw the labs, the shit Hojo was doing to Cloud and Zack. She’d just be stupid if she didn’t. 

“So….”

“So, they promised, if we deliver, they’d let us take the airship for this JENOVA thing,”

“After we destroy all of Midgar,” 

“Right.”

Awesome. 

A loud knock raps on the door; spooks Biggs away from leaning on it. 

“You think I’m lettin’ any of you crazies take my ship?” 

Oh, it’s just Cid. Looking real annoyed, but she can’t seem to tell when he’s not. 

“Your ship huh,” Biggs says. It is, he’s not wrong. Even if he did have it funded by ShinRa.

“Okay then, Captain,” She mock salutes him, “got a plan for us?” 

Cid huffs at her, rolls his eyes, “yeah, I’m letting you suckers help my guys finish it and gettin’ outta here.”

They could stop him, just take him out right now. 

But then...they’d still have to do this ‘start a war’ mission. She’s not sure she’s got enough heart to do that.

Besides her dad’s still in Midgar and her mom. She hates Shinra, but she can’t condone them to death because they choose to work for them rather than starve under the plate. Killing people off their ignorance does nothing but instigate hate. 

A tic in Barret’s jaw is telling her otherwise. 

Cid sees it too, drops the annoyed act, and gets a dangerous look in his eyes.

“Wait, before anyone gets too rowdy,” She says, jumps down and holds out a hand at Barret, “what if we help you?”

“Jessie-”

“-Come on, Barret. You really wanna do that mission? We’re no better….”

No better than ShinRa, might as well have dropped that plate themselves. It’s gotta stop. 

Avalanche. It’s not what she wants anymore. She wants to help her dad, get his spirit back outta the lifestream. But, there isn’t gonna be a lifestream anymore if Sephiroth spreads JENOVA and kills the whole planet. 

“Damnit, Jessie.” Barret says, “aw, fine. To hell with this. We did their mission, we don’t owe them anymore.”

“Wait, we really doing this?” Wedge says, alarmed, “what if we just tried to convince HQ to hold off until after we help Cloud and Aerith?”

“What’da think I’ve been doing all this time? They won’t budge.” 

Jessie looks to Biggs. He’s been awfully quiet when he’s normally their voice of reason. He can’t possibly want to wait around and see. This isn’t going to work anymore. Avalanche. ShinRa. It’s all smaller than what they need to face. 

“Biggs?” she doesn’t think without him, she’d had ever made it this far. She can’t move forward unless he does with them. 

“It can’t be that hard,” he says, glancing at Cid, “we’ve already got it here, just waiting.”

Relief floods her, good. Good. They can’t start splitting now, not between them. 

“You really are all crazy,” Cid says, “stealing my ship twice.”

Jessie grins at him, leaps over to lean into his space, and eyes up at him. He’s taller than his wide stature makes him look.

“You don’t even _know_ how crazy we are, but, there’s just one, teeny-tiny thing. You gotta split a deal with us,” She pokes his chest with a nimble, quick finger. Just in case he’s cagey like Cloud, slides back a step after. 

“A deal.” Smart, to be a skeptic.

“That’s ri-ght. We’ve got some friends to help out,” if she words it just right, they can spill all the crazy alien-spooky shit on him later. When he’s agreed to help them, “Just a ride, to a few places. Your ship, your rules.”

It’s all they really need right. A jump to the other continent, otherwise, it’ll take weeks to chase Sephiroth around. She’s not a fan of sea travel either. 

She still owes Cloud anyway. She can’t fight too well and she’s got no insight on whatever horrors they are getting dragged into. She can do this though. Maybe it’ll help take off some of the pressure, the panic. 

It’s easy to see it in them. In Cloud’s twitching left arm, Zack’s rigid shoulders. Even all of Tifa’s sighs and Aerith’s giggles have been flat and dull. 

“These friends, your SOLDIER buddies?”

“That’s them,” Biggs says. All of them stare at him. 

She hardly knows him, just thinks his gruff exterior is fun to poke at and that he caved pretty easily when that Turk agent pressured him into coming to Wutai. Must have used ShinRa as a tactic, as much as he hates them. The only other thing she really knows about him. It’s risky, to ask for his help rather than just force him too. 

Force seems to be getting them nowhere lately. 

“Don’t think I can’t tell you’re not being completely honest,”

Well...good. He’s sharp at least. 

“We can tell you that,” Barret steps in finally, lands his large hand on her shoulder. A small ‘good job’ in his touch, “It’s important. It’s not a direct approach to ending ShinRa, but it’ll stop what they’ve started.” 

Without all the innocent killing. Not that Cid knows that. He’s given no indication he overheard that part. He sighs.

Easily caving this time too. Huh.

“Alright, fine. It’ll be much easier to get her outta here. I can always just toss you lot off if you’re too much trouble.”

Oh and they will be, but they can all deal with that after they are smoothly sailing away from Wutai.

From Avalanche. 

Her heart flutters. Another rash decision, she wonders where it’ll put her this time. 

“Don’t worry, Cap,” she dares to spin closer to him and bob him in the chest again, “it’s gonna be the easiest heist ever.”

Biggs snorts, “you could say that it’s practically already done.”

“Would’ve been nice, to finish her up a bit more,” Cid grumbles.

Oh. He thinks right now. She laughs, looks to Barret for that answer.

“She will be. Ain’t talking about taking it now. Let me shift around some details, make sure we can pull her outta here with the least amount of resistance.”

Perks, to knowing the commanding person in charge. The more she thinks about it, the more she realizes. A stupid move for HQ to pull, put one of their ousted in charge of their biggest cell. Maybe it’s good they officially get out now.

“How long you thinkin?” Barret asks him, ushering Cid towards the door. He follows him out, wanting to talk it over without them then.

“A few days, four max,” she hears Cid respond as the door closes.

Just the three of them again. 

“Are you kidding me, Jes.” Biggs says, spins on his heel, and gives her his ‘dad’ look. She hates that look, he’s too pretty to be flashing disappointed old man at her. 

“What?” She bats her lashes at him, maybe if she fakes some innocence he’ll let it go. She knows, okay, she’s got gorgeous eyes. He usually falls for it. 

“Stealin’ from Avalanche now, from _Wutai_?”

She shrugs.

“We’re really going to have a target on our backs,” Wedge is agreeing with Biggs. Of course he is. They always gang up on her. 

She pouts, a little more dramatically than she needs too, but whatever.

They have to do this. For Cloud and Zack. For the whole dumb planet.

“Come o-n, guys. We don’t belong here and we can’t go back to Midgar,” 

“So what, we just sail around on an airship forever?”

Not forever, “no, come on. Stop being thick.”

They stare at her. 

“What, you really don’t wanna help them?” She still _owes_ them. 

“It’s not that-” Wedges starts.

“-it’s just, you sure we’re the right people to? What are we supposed to do?” Biggs finishes for him.

Easy, whatever they can. 

“Just what we always do,” she says, leaps at both of them and drapes her arms around their necks. It bends them both down, she’s so tiny, but it’s just another way for her to bully them into doing things her way.

“Oh- and what’s that?” Biggs is already smiling at her, huffing a quiet laugh against her cheek.

“Uh tease Cloud until he passes out from all the blood in his head. Duh.”

She’ll take lightening the mood. It’s been a long night, day even. 

Hell, she’ll even go with the whole week. Besides, her guys are just being dumb on purpose. They are tired and hungry, just the same as her. And maybe they don’t get it quite as much as she does.

But.

They didn’t see it.

Didn’t see JENOVA. 

She’ll never unsee it. The black, liquid poor all over Cloud. His burning skin. It was in his mouth, in his _eyes_. She thought he was done for. The worst thing she’s seen since her dad’s mako poisoning. Zack nearly crying over his still body...almost as hard to hear as those horrible wrong-toned noises JENOVA was making. 

She’ll never stop being angry at ShinRa, for what they are doing to the planet. For what they did to her dad. 

But her SOLDIERS. What ShinRa has done to them...

They deserve whatever help she can offer. 

***

They only have to suffer the tiny barrack rooms for three nights before the HIGHWIND is deemed complete enough to move back in. Cid had cryptically shown everyone down a hallway directly off the stairwell going up onto the flight deck. 

Apparently, it’s the designated rooms for senior staff. He wonders what Cid had planned for the HIGHWIND, he’d put so much detail and thought into the layout of the airship. Or maybe ShinRa really was just going to confiscate it all along and Rufus was just jumping the gun. 

Whatever the reason, it’s nice to be back and out of the dingy rooms where the humidity sets in too strongly. 

Plus, the HIGHWIND has nice soundproof walls and Cloud can’t keep Zack off him forever. There’s only so much noise-damping pillows and Zack’s kisses can do. 

Cloud still drags Zack down to the farthest room anyway. Just in case. An enormous window spanning the far wall ends up being a pleasant surprise, Zack beams at him when they walk in and see it. The rest of the room is larger than the first crew-sized one they were in. Larger bed, larger bathroom, more basic furniture (comfy chairs, table, two nightstands). Feels, unlike a cramped airship, it’s impressive what Cid has figured out. 

Zack’s already crowding him up against the window the second they dump their stuff on one of the large comfy chairs. He’s hunching down to get at Cloud’s neck. Cloud sighs, he’s going for the deep bite he already put in his skin this morning. Draping his arms over Zack’s shoulders, Cloud falls loose against the glass, lets Zack slowly lap his tongue over the bruise, hums for him when he nips too hard. 

Heat is lacking in his touch, no rush or need. 

“Am I just your chew toy now?” Cloud mutters after a slight painful teeth dig. That bruise is going to be even bigger.

Zack hums around his skin, sends shivers all down Cloud’s spine. _Woah._

There’s still no heat but Cloud wants that again. Later...when they are actually falling into each other.

A soft suction pops loudly in the room as Zack pulls off of him. 

“What,” Zack says, a lusty grin on his lips, “doesn’t feel good?”

Possibly, by now, Cloud would have control over this. He would think. Or maybe he should just give in and accept that he’s just going to be shy by nature his whole life. He digs his fingers into the nape of Zack’s neck to push through his abundance of bashfulness.

“Just,” guides him closer, “shut up,” he mumbles into Zack’s lips.

He’s going to pretend he didn’t instigate Zack’s teasing and is his own downfall of embarrassment. 

Zack certainly does, slips his arm on the glass behind Cloud, tilts him back, laying his head on his warm forearm. Makes Zack even taller and he presses more on his lips. Breathes low laughs into Cloud’s mouth, chases them with timid dips of his tongue. 

By now, Zack’s usually wanting more, starts pressing needy hands all over him. But he doesn’t. Keeps Cloud gently against the massive window, his fingertips brushing over his jaw and the hand behind him rubs loveling at the dip in his clavicle. 

Just kisses him, with slight tingles and timed suction. Gets Cloud sighing after every pull and gasping with every push. Losing himself in Zack; Without any deep need or burning heat. 

The universe feeling gathers in him again. Builds and swirls, mimics Zack’s lips, and his breathing.

His everything. 

He wants it forever, wants it to rest right in his chest, warming him and slotting together something he’s missing. 

“Man, I could just kiss you forever,” Zack says, their noses brush and Cloud can see the stars in Zack’s eyes again. Drifting in the mako crystals. He gets lost in them, how clear and glowy they are. Catches his small inhales, extends his hand to touch Zack’s lips, traces his scar, it dips in the center, a knot of ruined skin tissue. It’s beautiful.

“Me too…” Cloud says, feels a long time has gone by, getting too lost in Zack’s starry eyes. When did they start looking like that? 

Zack bites at his lip when he’s trying not to smile too big. Cloud pokes at his tooth digging into his flesh, he wants to see Zack’s smiles. All the time. 

“Cloud, wha-” But the whole room shifts suddenly, cutting Zack off. Shakes around them and lurches. 

Throws them both around and bonks their heads together.

“Fuckin-ow,” Zack mutters, wincing at Cloud.

“S-sorry,” Cloud stutters through his one wince.

“Yeah, totally your fault, Cloudy-Sky, that a new enhancement you got, airship thrashing?” Zack’s teasing him, but-

The ship _is_ moving.

Cloud twists and presses his hand against the window. Pushes Zack with his body for some more space. He doesn’t really get it, they're both glancing out the window, watching the ship drift off from the cliffside of the Avalanche base.

“Uh,” Cloud says. 

There is a crackling overhead, the ship’s intercom clearing out and then a blaring voice-

“-get yalls ass in h-oh, oh, ahmm,” It’s Barret, apparently shouting at someone else, “Attention HIGHWIND crew-”

Cid’s gruff, annoyed snort is loud in the background.

“We have an emergency on the flight deck-”

Why’s Barret being so formal and who is the HIGHWIND crew supposed to be? Them? 

There’s a lot of wrestling noise. Barret half cursing and grunting-

“-SOLDIER boys, get up top, stat!” Jessie says breathlessly into the com. 

The ship shakes and jerks around them _again._

Zack’s mimicking his look and they grab their swords. Rushing out into the hall at the same moment the ship lurches again, throws them into the far wall. Without their reflexes, they would have tumbled in a heap, but Cloud just pushes off and rights Zack with a gentle shove before he collides with him. 

Gunfire fills the air, spurring Cloud to push his legs faster. They take the short stairs two at a time. 

“What the hell is going on?” Cloud asks as they burst through the stairwell. Immediately draws his fusion sword and steps around to mirror Zack’s movements. 

It’s chaotic, members of Avalanche shooting at their trio, at _Barret_. There’s lots of rushing and dashing around and Cid’s cursing away at the steering, having to beat back a random attack every so often. 

“We’re stealing the ship!” Jessie yells, hopping off the top flight deck onto the shoulders of an unsuspecting Avalanche member.

“We already did that,” Zack shouts back, blocking a hard round of gunshots with his buster.

Cloud’s right at his back, slashing through a few familiar faces. He stays with every sway and thrust Zack does, protecting his blindside. Zack’s bad at remembering his blindside. He’s too used to overpowering everyone. 

“We’re doing it again,” Biggs says, he’s much closer to them, keeps tossing assaulting members over the edge of the HIGHWIND. 

Cloud glances around; gets a check on everyone’s positions before the gun smoke gets too thick to pinpoint them. Barret’s above them, on the top deck, and protecting Cid’s left side as he jangles with tossing Avalanche members away from him and steering. Must be why the ship keeps lurching. At least Wedge is on his way up to them, he’ll be able to keep Cid’s right covered. If they are stealing this out from the Wutai base, they’ll need to get going faster. 

Jessie’s hopping around all over the place, using shoulders and beaten backs to jump off of and shoot her rounds from her pistol. Cloud goes for her, she’s easily cocky and in the thick of the Avalanche members coming up from the deck. He gets to her just as she takes on one too many. Cloud knocks one down easily, doesn’t even need to swing his sword. A well-placed hook punch is good enough. 

“O-oo, thanks, didn’t see him sneak up behind me.”

Sneak up? Everyone’s shouting and running about. There’s no sneaking going on. He slashes out at another one, knocks them back, and winces as they skid over the side of the ship.

“Uh...are we saving them?”

Jessie shrugs and spins away from a punch, “I dunno, you think they’d save us?”

Cloud thinks this is ridiculous and still kind of confusing. 

It’s not a hard fight. Not even long, with Zack ‘whooping’ his way around the flight deck and Cloud stubbornly following Jessie around (seriously, he can’t believe how unobservant she’s being. They are going back to training after this) it’s fast and easy and they are all standing around in sudden silence. Gunsmoke drifting clear into the rushing air around them. 

“That went well,” Jessie says, slings an arm around Cloud, “good thing you guys were so close,” she wiggles her brows at him, “testing out that new bed huh?”

Cloud flushes, jerks away from her as she pokes at the ever-growing bruise Zack’s putting on his neck. Damnit, it’s past his collar even. 

Zack’s over with Biggs, high fiving him and waves his buster at Cloud to come over.

“Would have been nice of you to tell us,” Cloud says, yielding to Jessie’s clinging arms and bright laughs, makes his way over to the top deck, where everyone is gathering. 

She jostles him, “Aw, come on now. After that awesome heist, can’t ask you two to do all the work.”

“Just half the work,” he quips back. Her laugh rises louder and sing-songs, hip bumps him, and leaves him to himself to rush up the stairs. 

He settles up at a slower pace, slips next to Zack. He only jerks his hand back once, before pushing past his dumb bashful knot in his stomach. Slips his hand into Zack’s and tugs at his arm so slightly, no one probably notices. 

Zack zeros in on him of course, bumps the two inches between him so they are pressed together and fights Cloud’s fingers to intertwine the way he wants. He leans in and presses his lips against Cloud’s temple. Disguise the whispering to him.

“You know about this?” 

“Hmm.” 

No, would have been nice. They probably could have planned this smoother. 

“Wait,” Cloud realizes suddenly, there was bound to be Avalanche members on the lower decks.

“Don’t worry, pretty eyes,” Jessie says, seeing his discern, “Tifa’s got it all covered.”

Oh, so they let Tifa know, but not them.

He’s weirdly hurt by this secrecy. Do they not think he can handle it? 

……

Has he been too weak in front of them? Lost too many times?

“Easy up there,” Biggs steps up next to them, eyes on Barret as he waves everyone around, “I see that look. Just thought you guys needed a break.”

Zack’s smirk brushes against his skin, his voice loud so close to his ear, “A break huh? That was the easiest thing I’ve ever done. You guys plan that before we even stole this thing the first time?”

Biggs laughs, “maybe not us, can’t say Cid wasn’t planning it though.”

Cloud can believe that. The few times he’s talked to him, he just ranted the whole time about ShinRa bitches taking everything that’s his and all the payback he’s going to get. 

It only eases his uncertainty a little. He still feels weirdly left out. 

Biggs nudges his shoulder, juts his chin forward so Cloud will switch his attention. 

It’s not even half their group. Just the Avalanche members and-Yuffie….

Cloud didn’t even notice she was up on the flight deck. She notices his attention on her and flushes, slides angrily closer to Jessie, and doesn’t look his way. 

Okay…

He doesn’t like kids. They’re too random and unpredictable. Zack snorts at his side, squeezes his hand a little more. 

“Alright,” Barret says, “that went, much smoother than we planned.”

Yeah, probably cause Jessie demanded their help anyway. Cloud clicks his tongue, all his annoyance just comes right back. Not even Zack’s attentive presses relieves it.

Cloud can’t believe he didn’t even think something was up. Getting shooed back onto the airship after only a few days of being back.

Jessies even told them, pack up all your shit, get that shiny bike on board and sit tight. 

Stupid...Cloud really can’t believe the level of stupidity he’s reaching lately. 

Cid’s spinning the ship’s drive wheel, pulling at a few levels near the bottom of the console before turning and crossing his arms at the group.

“Alright, we’ll be far enough away. Don’t think those choppers got enough time to warm up to come after us.”

Or any direction to, Avalanche’s temporary leadership just up and left with their greatest success. 

“Now, am I going to be told what I’m dragging you lot around for?”

What….

Everyone turns to look at him. Spurs his shy tendencies. He feels too exposed up here on the flight deck, under the sky, and in the breeze. He wants to shift and hide behind Zack, but…

Everyone’s still _looking_ at him. 

“What?” he’s getting snippy, growing with his irritation and his uncomfortableness. 

“Aerith’s not up here, s-o,” Jessie says, “where to, SOLDIER?”

“Uh…”

Zack’s his normal sweet self and helps him out, with a light touch on his lower back. 

“We don’t know where Sephiroth is. But-”

Right, somewhere cold.

“Nibelheim…” he’s sure he said it too quietly. 

“Damn, kid, it’s near freezing there this time of year,” Cid says.

That’s if they’re lucky. Snowstorms near every day in winter.

Cid’s already going for new coordinates, and Biggs pats his shoulder. The group disburses and Cloud feels like they are suddenly barreling forward.

He doesn’t know if he’s ready. 

***

Zack dropped by their room, hours after the impulsive chaotic stealing of the HIGHWIND, _again_. Scared the crap out of her when Barret’s voice boomed over the intercom. Tifa had yanked her to her feet and cursed. Rushed out of the room to bash in any strangers sneering at them. 

Would have been nice, if Tifa had mentioned, _oh hey, yeah_ , our crazy Avalanche guys are stealing the ship. At least Zack had the same dazed expression on his face when he knocked on their door. Cloud sulking in the hallway behind him. 

Makes her feel a little better about being out of the loop. 

It’s been hours now. Said they were headed to Nibelheim. Look for Sephiroth. 

She wishes they had come and found her. She needs that materia, the other half. Without it...she can’t do much to kill off any JENOVA they run into. 

Tifa’s sitting back into one of the large chairs in their room, brushing out her long hair and staring at a spot on the far wall. 

Aerith’s not sure what to say. She can see the conflict in her eyes. She probably hasn’t been back to Nibelheim since Sephiroth burned it down. Should she warn her? It’s all been rebuilt and replaced by ShinRa pod people. 

It rolls around in her head for the hours it takes to get there. 

Leaves her with a gasp. 

She can feel when they are close.

Her body is cold and wrong. It’s all so wrong. So much so, it’s hard to hide the shock of it. 

There’s nothing.

All the soft calls from passing flowers, trees, the gentle reassure in the wind. 

It’s all gone. 

Flowers first, they quiet into a stillness she only hears when they die. This high up, on the HIGHWIND, she can’t really hear them anyway but to be eradicated into silence. It’s wrong. That is not how they die. 

Gradually, the trees go that way too. She leaps from her warm place next to Tifa. Rushes to their window. Even from so high up, she can see the forests over the Nibel mountain range, the color is off. A slow gradient into a vibrancy she can’t see yet. 

Cid’s gruff voice calls over the intercom. 

“Nibelheim in ten min-goddamnit, Zack! Get your dumb-” he cuts himself off with a scratchy, rushed hangup. 

Tifa snorts a little laugh, “think they are going to give Cid a hea-oh, what’s wrong?”

Everything. She knows this feeling, it haunts her past and her future and her adjacent self.

JENOVA. 

“Tifa…” her voice shakes when she speaks, as the last of the comforting whispers from the wind fades, “It’s too early, this isn’t supposed to happen.”

She knows she’s rambling and not being clear but the disturbance of Gaia’s spirit fading is worrisome. 

Tifa touches her arm very softly, gets her eyes to rise and meet her concerned expression. 

“What’s too early?”

The decaying. 

“Can we...can we go up top, I need to see.”

She’s told Tifa of the horrors, late in the morning when she can’t sleep and her time memories are rushing around in her head. 

She’s only ever held back from everyone, even Tifa. Can’t decide if she should push into details on how bad things could get. 

Tifa’s pulling her into her body first, hugs her tight, and twirls her braid around her wrist until Aerith’s body stops the shaking. She didn’t even notice she had started too.

Even gives her a light brushing of her lips when she pulls back. 

“Sure, this a memory thing?”

Aerith shakes her head, “No... if it’s what I think. We’re going straight for danger.”

Tifa’s concern only intensifies, “That’s not ominous at all,” she says.

Sweet of her to try and make her laugh. She does a little, but even she hears the nerves in it. 

They climb the short stairwell and see Zack and Cloud are already up on the deck. Zack’s got Cloud trapped against the railing of the stern’s lookout bay, probably once enjoying the scenery but he’s got Cloud’s face attached to his own now. 

Tifa laughs, “must be what Cid is annoyed about.”

Their constant touching and heavy petting does seem to happen all over the place. Aerith thinks it’s sweet. Only distracts her for a brief moment. Their bodies both freeze and she can see the look on Cloud’s face from across the deck.

Gaia so generously graced him with the touch of her spirit, so he must feel it too. 

Aerith pulls Tifa with her, coming up to the boys with certainty. One she doesn’t want to be right about. 

Nibelheim is in view but it’s small and hard to make out, dwarfed by Nibel Mountain. The forest caging in the town and the valley just beyond, all of it is dead. 

Cloud’s gasp is just as loud as the initial assault of silence in her head. 

He does feel it too. Not as strongly, if he’s just getting the rush of nothing now. 

“What’s going on?” Zack’s bracketing Cloud against the railing again, trying to ease his distress with a close body press. 

“It’s all wrong,” Cloud echo’s the horrible feeling in her chest.

It _is_ all wrong. She knows what they will find in Nibelheim, with the evidence staring right at her. No color trees, even the grass in the valley, it’s all….turning a weird color. Greyish and purple. A pulsing throbs at her from the mountain. 

JENOVA is already corrupting. 

***

Cid’s grumbling does nothing to cease Zack’s hands roaming his waist or the light kisses he’s determined to give Cloud. Something about open skies and the breeze on his face just gives him a need to be touching him.

Zack realizes there are a lot of things that give him the same need. 

Cloud freezing in his hands is not one of them. He pulls away to check on him, glancing at Aerith and Tifa rushing up to the railing. 

Cloud’s gasp is loud, even as it's carried away in the wind.

He says it’s all wrong. 

Zack’s confusion only settles into a dark pit of worry at Aerith’s little head nod in agreement. 

She thinks so too. Then…

As the HIGHWIND starts to lower in the sky and Nibelheim is rushing up at them, Zack doesn’t need to be in Cloud’s mind or understand Aerith’s Cetra connection.

He can see it. The whole town, it’s overrun with…

Well, he knows what it is. They all do. JENOVA. She’s infected all the plants, everything is pulling a grotesque greyish purple or pink. The treeline Zack has become familiar within Cloud’s headspace is faded, bark dull, and crusting. If any leaves were left from summer, he knows they would be wilting. 

Cloud’s entire left arm is shaking the worst Zack has ever seen. He’s tenser; must be trying to keep the twitching from happening. 

A hollowness he hasn’t felt since the early days in Midgar returns to him, as strongly as if it never left him. He slides his own left hand over Clouds on the railing. Tangles their fingers together.

He can feel the muscles twitching under his palm. 

Since their fight, he’s been more respectful about pushing into their link. Only intruding when Cloud’s at ease or Zack is at a complete loss to what’s hiding behind his set expression. He reaches out now, connects quickly like Cloud’s been waiting for him. He’s not just anxious, he’s scared and doesn’t know why. His arm, hears the words coming to him, ‘a warning’. He thinks the twitching is a warning. For JENOVA?

He never asked Aerith again, why his arm does that. The hollowness tells him they are about to find out. 

His protective urge rushes at him, kick starts his own bundle of nerves, and he presses against Cloud tighter still. Cid’s setting the HIGHWIND down on the old ShinRa chopper pad. It’s barely big enough, but it’s the only flat spot near Nibelheim that doesn’t require a long hike into town. Cloud’s shaking only gets worse. Aerith’s shoving her way to him as they break away to grab their things, looping an arm with his. A shaking one, her too then.

Timeline things. It’s starting. The hollowness only gets deeper. 

“I can’t hear her either,” She tells Cloud. He’s silent for a long moment, all the way down the staircase. 

“Is she dying?” He asks into the enclosed walls and space. 

“Gaia?” Tifa asks for clarification, they stop and glance at each other. 

Aerith nods, steps back from Cloud, a sigh so heavy and large her shoulders sag with it. 

“This isn’t right, JENOVA….it only spreads like this later. It’s never been this strong this early.”

They are losing then. Sephiroth has gained something over them, but when? 

“How do we stop it?” Zack asks.

Aerith’s shaking her head before he even finishes, “With my HOLY materia but it’s-”

“-not working right, you mentioned that before,” Cloud says, too quietly. 

He still gets her hesitation, to tell them everything and she’s been more forthcoming lately. He just wishes she had mentioned her HOLY being able to stop JENOVA first. Would have eased his mind some. 

Though, with it not working, he guesses it really doesn’t matter if it can stop JENOVA or not. 

“I don’t think we’ll find the answer here,” Tifa says, sadness creeping into her voice. 

Cloud’s eyes ice up, body stiffens into his facade SOLDIER attitude, “we’re here for Sephiroth.”

His arm twitches. 

“You really think he’s here?” Tifa asks.

Cloud shrugs, following with a nod, and glances down the hallway to hide his uncertainty. The girls don’t catch it, just a subtle glint in the deepest blue of his eyes. Zack can feel it screaming at him in their connection, doesn’t matter that he can read Cloud so well. 

Standing around talking about it won’t get them anywhere, “Come on, let’s grab our stuff. Everyone has HEALING materia on them?”

The girls nod, Zack knows Cloud does. 

“Expect a lot of fiends,” Aerith says, “...there’s always so many of them.” 

“Fifteen minutes?” Everyone nods again and Zack follows after Cloud, he’s already rushing down to their room. 

As their door closes Zack reaches out and grabs him, pulls him into his chest, and wraps his arms tightly around him. 

“It’s okay, we can take him.” 

Muffled and small in his collarbone, Cloud says, “yeah.” 

Flashes of Nibelheim burning to the ground and Sephiroth destroying them in the reactor push both ways in their connection, filling their heads with fake confidence. They couldn’t last time. 

But that JENOVA creature, “We did at ShinRa,” Zack says.

Cloud snorts as he pulls away. Keeps his eyes to the ground.

“ _You_ guys did.” 

That’s not fair, Cloud had been tortured for hours and hours before, shoved in a mako tank and still managed to distract that JENOVA thing for everyone else to kill it off. He senses no point in arguing with him. Has to sit with the self-loathing lingering in their link as they pull on their armor and clank their swords onto their back. 

Everyone’s standing near the main exit on the flight deck when they head back up, solemn faces and quiet. They all turn to look at them. 

No one has any idea, expect Aerith, but she’s sending her worried green eyes their way too, locked onto Cloud. 

“So, what’s the plan, pretty eyes?” Jessie asks.

Somewhere, in the middle of running and trying to stay alive, Cloud’s become a figure to look too. In all their eyes, a bright unwavering force of emotion.

Trust. 

Cloud’s surprise at it spurs a heavy ache in Zack. It is so hard for him? To believe it? He rushes in to help first, every time, no matter if his wavering confidence is close to the surface or not. 

“Find Sephiroth,” he says. Masks the low confidence well. It’s buzzing in Zack’s head.

“Maybe the reactor,” Zack speaks up, “or the ShinRa mansion.”

He doubts, if Sephiroth is here, he’d be lingering around town. 

“I’ll take the reactor,” Kunsel says first. 

Good, as a SOLDIER, he’ll know what to look for over anyone else, besides Tifa maybe. 

Red’s already eyeing down the side of the ship, flicks his tail a few times in the air, “me too, might be easier with my sense of smell.” 

Cloud’s frowning, shifts into crossed arms and jutted hips, “Be careful, the Nibel reactor housed JENOVA...before.”

Behind the creepy statute of honored Cetras, that’s right. Zack can still feel the pulsing headache he would get after being in the reactor all day. With what he knows now, he’s sure, JENOVA was affecting him then too. 

“You two and us, we’ll take the mansion?” Aerith asks, “Maybe Hojo left something that will help us find that materia.”

Zack doubts it, but maybe a trigger for more memories for her will happen. It’s better than nothing. The way things are starting to look, Zack will take the smallest clue. 

Yuffie’s pouting just behind Jessie, “what about us?”

Cloud shrugs a shoulder and rolls his eyes, he hasn’t taken to Yuffie too well. Might be that crush she’s harboring, a little intense for him, “stay here, we don’t need everyone going off and getting into trouble.”

Not with JENOVA growing all over the place. Zack’s anxious to get off the ship and into town. Even all the way up here on the landing pad, a strange haze seems to be growing from the ground, casting a purple and orange filter into the sky. 

Yuffie’s pouting grows, but Jessie’s already snaking an arm around her shoulders and dragging her off, “you got it, SOLDIER. Keep the ship warm, ready for an escape,”

Honestly, Zack thinks they just might need it. 

“Just yell if you need back up,” Barret says, eyeing his trio drag Yuffie around. She’s already trying to get back to the ladder that descends down off the ship. 

Zack follows everyone last, watches as Cloud and Tifa drift closer together as they walk down and around the mountainside. 

The Nibelheim Incident is a source of horror for him, he can’t imagine if it had happened in Gongaga. Even as they come upon the still scorched mansion, Tifa and Cloud are close enough they start bumping arms. 

They all stop on the edge of the path. The reactor is just up the long stairway, deeper in the base of the mountain. It’s the cleanest path, mostly frost and a light dusting of snow; grass underneath is still a truer green. At the base of the stairs, odd little fungal plants are sprouting, thin and long, they sway in the light breeze. 

The longer Zack watches them, he sees, they are swaying the wrong way, moving against the wind. On their own. 

“Oh my god,” Tifa says. Her voice cuts deep through Zack, he can’t place what it is. 

Horror and sadness? Disbelief.

All of it reflects in Cloud’s eyes, shimmery and bright. His whole body is shaking in the intensity, pushing it onto Zack’s mind. Hard to ignore the reason when it’s starting to consume him. He turns, glances down the right side of the path. 

Into town.

The hillside overlooks the small settlement, down into the Nibel valley and the forest line. He knows it, sees it all the time in Cloud’s head. Remembers it less so in person.

It’s not the same. It’s not even close. 

Horrific and unrecognizable. 

Remnants of buildings are hard to see. A mass overgrowth of odd-looking plants and fungi has fought its way into every crack, sprouted on every surface. On the largest ones, bulbous, slimy-looking bubbles grow on top of one another. Semi-transparent and even from here, Zack can see a dark fluid sloshing around under the thin skin. 

It’s all off-color, weirdly tinted purple or orange. Spots of black fade in and out, shiny, oil-slick. It’s similar to the JENOVA blood trailed in HQ. Fiery and empty of light at the same time. 

The deadness of Gaia’s plant life is haunting. 

Desolate and eerie. 

“It’s all dead,” Tifa says under her breath, she falls a step back, right into Cloud’s side. 

He reaches for her instinctively, wraps an arm around her shoulders and tries to still the alarm in his eyes. 

It’s hard to look away from. Zack keeps trying to see the buildings he knows are there, the burned down hollows of them. It’s just more JENOVA overgrowth. 

And Aerith says...the whole planet looks like this. If they don’t stop JENOVA? He glances at her, not ready for the darkness shadowing over her face.

Her normal bright, optimistic glint in her eyes; it’s not there. Just forlorn and anger in them. 

“Aerith,” he finds himself reaching to her.

“Something’s missing,” she says, turns away from the hilltop to look behind her at the ShinRa mansion, “I’m missing answers that I know are in the lifestream.”

It’s hard to guess what she means, mostly mumbling to herself. How can all the answers rest in the lifestream? He thought they went to Cloud, spilled out to her when she needed them.

“We need to check out the reactor,” Kunsel says into the silence. It spooks all of them from their hopelessness.

“The mansion too,” Aerith’s voice still sounds chilled. 

“Okay,” Cloud’s pulling from Tifa, “then we should split u-nnn-” He jerks, winces harshly in pain and stumbles. 

His left arm is twitching so violently, shakes his whole shoulder. Zack can feel the stinging from it, a ghost pain coming at him in their link. 

It’s never hurt Cloud before….

Cloud’s panting, his grimace deepening and he falls to his knees in the frost and snow. He’s zapping their connection closed and Zack wishes he would just stop doing that. 

He knows he’s been hiding his pain from him recently. It just makes it worse. He kneels down in the snow next to Cloud, pulls a glove off with his teeth, and slips his hand around Cloud’s twitching arm, in-between his shoulder armor and wrist gauntlets.

It’s disturbing. The glowy-green veins pulling around his skin, trying to heal a wound that’s not there. Zack watches it circle around and twists over Cloud’s skin, pulses in brightness. Trying to pinpoint the pain source. 

“It’s not working?” Tifa asks, covering up Kunsel’s surprised gasp.

Zack’s so used to his presence, he forgets he hasn’t been around since everything went to shit. 

Cloud grits his teeth up at her, the pain is so bad, he can barely keep his eyes open, “W-wounds not really there…” 

They think. Zack leans in, presses his lips tightly to Cloud’s temple. He can’t do anything else. Pushes reassurance to him as gently as he can, so it’s not too overwhelming. He’s been told before, he can be overwhelming. 

Cloud’s leaning into him, knocks his hand away to grasp at it and intertwine their fingers. His grip is hard, as he rides out the pain. 

“He’s….here, Zack. He’s here.” 

Sephiroth, how does he know? The ghost pain? Zack glances at Aerith for any kind of inkling of an answer, but she’s stubbornly turned toward the mansion still.

“In town,” Cloud huffs out, going lax against Zack’s side. The pains leaving him, but the twitching doesn’t, “feels...over there.”

There’s no painful static and Cloud’s opened up their connection again, seeps a whole bundle of achingly sweet emotions at him. Zack laughs under his breath, nuzzles against his hair as he helps him up.

“Okay, okay, I get it. You’re welcome,” he mutters against him. He’d never be able to tell, all the gratefulness Cloud is feeling, without their link. His face is a solid blank slate of impartial. 

He’s pushing so much of it at Zack. It’s oddly uplifting, even in the beginning of this nightmare landscape. 

“So we're _really_ splitting up then,” Red says, he’s been pacing the stairway for the last few minutes. 

“Yeah, you two take the reactor still?” Zack asks.

Kunsel nods, “Sure, we’ll meet the girls in the mansion.”

“We’ll _all_ meet at the mansion.” Cloud agrees, drawing himself away from Zack, lets go of his hand. 

The frosty air of Nibelheim feels colder without it. 

It feels too final, watching Tifa and Aerith jump the burned and melted iron gate. Kunsel and Red disappear higher and higher towards the mountain. 

Cloud’s stepping back into his space, his body radiating warmth. With just the two of them standing on the overlooking hill, his mask cracks a little. Fear swims in his eyes, his lip juts out. Zack frowns, he must be biting his tongue. 

“Stop it, it’s okay,” he clanks his buster against his shoulder armor, “come on.”

The JENOVA infection gets worse, as they follow the path down into town. Quickly, it’s overridden with alienesque growth and the closer they get, a horrible hum lingers in the air. Monotone and low. 

Sounds like it’s coming from the plants. 

Zack never learned the layout of Nibelheim very well, but they hit a spot of flat land and Cloud’s body starts tensing. He can see it, a wooden frame of a nearly burned down building. The humming sound is louder, from the center of it. Purple and grey fungi crawl all over it, move jittery all on their own. 

Alive...in more than a plant way.

It marks the edge of town and as they move on in, the plants get larger, less plant-like and more fleshy. Those massive bulbous bubbles Zack saw on the hill, their bigger than he thought, nearly as tall as he is, some of them. The outer skin of them is thin, with dark thin lines wiggling all over, actually moving. They pulse, with the swishing of the liquid inside.

“Eh, I think it’s...feeding off itself.” Zack mutters. 

The smell hits them in the center of town. Bitter and a dark coppery, decaying. Strongest where the JENOVA vegetation is thick and abundant and dark. There’s slick, thick black liquid all over, flickering purple-ish flames. Zack can feel the heat from it. 

Decay. Everything is decaying and already dead. Only a few recognizable tree trunks stand among the horror. Void of color and bark crumbling as they walk by. 

“Zack,” Cloud shifts near him, draws his fusion sword, “you hear that?”

Zack mimics him and they stop, feet sinking into the mucky mess of snow and black liquid.

Weirdly, it’s not melting the snow, even though Zack can feel the heat seeping through his boots. 

In the air, with the constant low tone, sounds like groaning. It’s getting louder.

Zack feels a phantom pull of static. A small zap of something trying to get into him and then nothing. 

Cloud lets out a struggling whimper next to him, but he doesn’t falter. 

“Cloud?” Zack asks, he steps closer to him still, “what’s going on?”

Tries their connection, all he hears is a pulsing static grow and quiet and then grow again. Cloud’s fighting whatever is trying to get in. 

“Se-Sephiroth. I think…”

From around the corner, two figures stumble pass the burned rubble and the oozing fleshy plants. 

The same as the guy at ShinRa. Cloaked in a tethered, dirty robe. They both slot up together and shift their swords to the figures. The groaning is coming from them. They stumble around, drag their bodies terribly like they are too heavy for whatever little consciousness left to control. 

“Aren’t they...like that creature, at ShinRa?” Cloud asks, he’s so quiet, if they were walking, Zack would have missed it. 

“Right, the JENOVA creature.”

Really, Zack should learn by now. Muttering its name always seems to spark action. The two husked out people jerk, start twitching all over. Their groans become loud, tormenting screams, raspy and jagged. As if glass were ripping out their throats. 

Bubbling erupts under their robes, shoving at the fabric, and trying to get out. 

All at once, too many things happen. A high, wrong-toned scream echoes around them. It shakes the plants and the more fleshy ones start oozing even more black liquid, thicker...hotter; steam is rising from it. 

Vibrating starts at their feet and the two figures freeze.

An explosion bursts out from their robes, two massive bundles of JENOVA...something.

It’s grotesque and mutilated and wiggling violently on the ground. 

“The fuck…” Cloud mutters, his breathing is labored. Zack risks a glance at him. He’s sweating.

Zack doesn’t care if it’s irritating, he steps up and just a smidge more in front of Cloud. 

The screaming from the bundles of flesh change; turn sharper and lower, croaky. They start to meld together, growing in the wash of black liquid spreading across the ground. Boils in the flesh burst and foam, the mass gets bigger.

Fast. 

Twists and grows until it towers over them and a screeching rings in their ears. Thick tentacles sprout from it, darker pink and purple toned than the one at HQ. It’s thick, bat-like wings stretch and unwrap it’s half skull face and ripped, hanging jaw. Dark holes of space staring at them from the hard shell. 

Another JENOVA creature. 

All the plant life around them reacts to it, sways closer to it, wanting to meld. A pull. 

“Cloud…” Zack says, his breathing is even heavier.

“Let’s get it,” he sounds okay. 

It’s all Zack needs for now. A sturdy voice and an open connection from him. 

JENOVA screams at them, seems annoyed there's two of them. Zack knows it’s going for Cloud, the way it hovers its attention on him. 

“Zack,” Cloud says-finishes his thought in his head. 

Distract it.

They jump apart, JENOVA thrusting a thick tentacle arm at them, splashes a wave of thick liquid in their direction. The few droplets that land on his arm burn, but his SOLDIER healing quickly kicks in and rids the sting. 

Cloud’s already using his speed, staying ahead of the attacking JENOVA arms. He’s at full ability this time around and Zack swears, the creature is linked to the one they killed off. It seems...madder. More desperate. Viciously whips around after Cloud as he jumps off building ruins, skips around the backside, and jumps up onto the still standing water tower that marks the center of town. 

JENOVA can’t reach him too well up there, just out of its fleshy arms reach. It’s irritated, clicking weird little hums and grunts at Cloud. Its full attention is on him.

Guess Cloud was the distraction. Zack breathes in deep, widens his stance, and starts pulling mana into his veins. Lets the cooling sensation settle into his bones and burst out with warmth all along his muscles. It thickens in his arms, all along his back, drawing power and pulsing with it. 

For an extra boost, he lights the fire materia in his second slot, tastes the thick ash in his mouth, and sets his blade on fire. 

Just a quick jump and a hard swipe, all along the backside of the JENOVA creature. 

It screams again, painfully this time and starts thrashing about widely. Its arms are all over the place and it’s upper torso rocks back and forth.

The cut deep along its body is oozing black liquid and purple spurts of something else keep leaking out around the severed flash. The oxygen in the air turns it a darker crimson. 

Zack got it’s attention away from Cloud for the time being. 

JENOVA stills, slowly uncurls, and bores hatred at Zack. Its unhinged jaw vibrates at him and it lunches. The hate seems to help it grow, it’s sprouting more and more tentacle arms as he jumps off them. So many it’s getting hard to see where he’s jumping to and from. 

It gets the better of him. One of the arms is sharpened at the end, hardened, and slashes across Zack’s chest. A deep cut emerges and it burns like fire, Zack swears he can hear his skin boiling and hissing. Makes him pause long enough for it to wrap around his torso and hurl him somewhere. 

He collides roughly with a burnt beam of a building, Cloud’s shout for him is muffled by the pounding in his ears.

Fuckin’- _ow_. Just a few deep breaths and his healing pulls away the worst of the pain. The horrible boiling stops. His skin starts to stitch together. He groans and pushes off the ground, just as a shadow falls over him.

Cloud’s hovering in front of him, locked eyes with JENOVA, and Zack can feel his rage in his mind.

So sweet, wanting to avenge him. He’s glowing, a bright spot in front of him.

The temperature rises this time, heat pooling in from somewhere . Starts clashing with the wintery air of the mountains and the sky gets dark. Has a weird effect on the surrounding JENOVA infection. An orangish haze is fluttering off the buildings, rising from the plants. Casts a faded gradient into the darkening sky. 

Thunder rolls above them, lightning cracks, fast and bright. Cloud’s already drawing it down, surrounding JENOVA with eight, ten, twelve streams of electricity at a time. Sparks all across it’s twisting arms, immobilizes a few, slows down the rest. 

For an opening. 

“Now, Cloud,” Zack says, shifting and pushing himself up. A weak spot. With that wound oozing at it’s back and it’s slowed from the constant bolts, they can finish it. 

They both dash, Zack rolls to the ground, around and up at it’s back. He can see Cloud through its slowing body.

Hovering for a moment, fusion sword tore all into its six blades, crackling with lightning. A drifting blue glow illuminates him against the dark stormy sky. JENOVA seems fixated on Cloud, so Zack pulls more strength to his muscles and grips his buster sword tight. Pushes off the ground hard, jumps up, and gets a good force for an extra slash from shoving off the backend of JENOVA’s weirdly hardened wing. Zack digs his sword into the same slash he dealt before, shoves his buster in until the hilt hits the spurting flesh. Drops his weight and _drags_ his buster all the way down, reopening and deepening the wound.

More of that black liquid spurts at him and the decaying smell is enough to get him gagging as he finishes off his attack. 

Above him, Cloud hurls each of his blades right into the torso of the creature, lines them up and up, his longest blade digging in with a ‘squish’, right into the face. Zack winces in sympathy, only cause he knows how much face slices hurt.

This JENOVA bitch really deserves it though. So more like wincing in memory. 

Thunder rolling all around them overpowers the screaming JENOVA is letting out. It thrashes so violently Zack has to roll to the side and dart around until he’s at a safe distance.

Just happens to be right under Cloud. He drops and instead of leaping back, Zack holds out his arms. Catches Cloud with an inhale and a smirk. 

A final, massive bolt of lightning shoots to the ground, attracted by all of Cloud’s blades, and lights up the remaining JENOVA bits.

It’s wrong-toned shrieks die out and the body freezes. 

The skin fades and the shiny, slippery liquid on it evaporates. Starts cracking from within and shrivels up, dries out, and turns to dust. Breaks all it’s tentacle arms and the wings. Drops into a dark, dried up ball onto the ground. 

Half the size it was, a dead mass of nothing. Cloud’s blades all stuck in the snow and the evaporating black ooze. 

“Holy shit,” Zack says, thunder keeps rolling, but off in the distance as Cloud lets the storm he made move on elsewhere. 

He smells strongly of ozone and his distinct Cloud sweat, Zack’s never letting him go. 

He squirms just a little in his arms. Nope, no way, “That was fucking awesome,” Zack grins at him, hikes Cloud in his arms a bit, and surges forward for a hot, searing kiss. 

Cloud’s moan is high and surprised, slow on the uptake of Zack’s pressing lips. Their mind link is crackling happily between them, Cloud’s basking in Zack’s delight. He’s proud of him. 

Cloud kicked JENOVA’s ass this time. Just like Zack knew he could. 

The JENOVA infection is still deep in the plants and lingers on all the buildings, but that weird fiend from the husked out humans is gone, dusted out into the air. 

The humming isn’t as loud from the plants. 

Cloud squirms some more in his arms and leaps down. Lingers right up against him though, head tilted back and looking up into Zack’s eyes. His hands brush over his chest, where his shirt is slit open and the wound from JENOVA is nearly gone. Just a thin scab. 

His hands pull tiny healing veins as his fingers dip in and trace along with the cut. Worry is etched into his brows, chewing on his lip.

“Not too bad?” Cloud asks him, focused on his chest.

“Just a scratch,” Reaching out with a rush of lust, Zack grabs Cloud’s chin, thumbs along the curve of his soft skin, and pulls his face up. Licks at his bottom lip and slips his own with Cloud’s in a slow, wet, off-centered kiss. 

He’s rewarded, with heavy-lidded tender eyes. So sweet he can’t stop the smile he gives Cloud back. Quickly, it's replaced with confusion. Zack tilts his head at him.

Cloud’s face morphs, a terror-filled gasp escapes him; eyes swimming with fear and shock. His whole body starts to shake. 

He can’t see why. Zack can’t turn. A ripping pain digs from his back, just below his shoulder blade, right through to the meaty flesh of his pectoral. Burns and shreds at his skin. 

A long thin blade is pushing out of his body, his blood deep and dark and shiny on it.

Masamune.

 _The real one._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOBODY PANIC  
> IT'S A FIX IT FIC
> 
> :) :) :) :)
> 
> Don't kill meee.  
> See ya next time!


	21. That Awful Sound, Bang Bang

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone's really in the thick of it.  
> *****WARNINGS*****  
> ALIEN GORE, GORE, BLOOD, VIOLENCE, BRIEF MENTIONS OF TORTURE, DARK THEMES.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> .....I never said the suffering was over. You have been warned.  
> Also...I can't tell if something is too dark, I am desensitized, XD. So, go forth with all my warnings, THE HARDEST WARNINGS, just in case. 
> 
> I'd normally say happy reading but...

The mansion has got scorch marks all up the front, but it’s the only intact building left in Nibelheim. 

It makes her sad, under all the fear coursing in her veins. Ghost memories of the town ShinRa rebuilt are all she has of Nibelheim. But it’s easy to sympathize with Cloud and Tifa. She hates the look on their faces. The disturbing glint in their eyes at JENOVA. The pain from years ago, from Sephiroth’s meltdown. 

It’s comforting that Cloud has Zack this time around.

As for Tifa, Aerith isn’t sure what she can do. It’s an old ache, one that Tifa has every timeline too, a direct cause from Cloud’s acceptance of being her anchor.

Somehow, she keeps hurting those she loves. 

Aerith falls to her side, slips her hand into Tifa’s very gently. Her gloves are bulky and stretch out the narrow part of her fingers, but Tifa’s softened posture is worth it. 

“I didn’t expect it to bother me so much,” Tifa says into the quiet entranceway of the ShinRa mansion. 

“Coming back here?” Aerith asks.

Tifa nods, “Even with it so...disturbingly changed. I can still see it. The flames.”

Sephiroth. 

He’s managed to haunt everyone, in some way. 

But.. “you survived, made it to Midgar. You will always carry Nibelheim with you, just from being from here. It’s not really gone.”

She’s got no idea if it helps, sometimes she feels she’s just pandering or saying a bunch of jumbled up nothing. Tifa lets out a sad little ‘ah’, her smile going small and sweet. She rubs her thumb along Aerith’s hand before letting go and walking deeper into the mansion. 

The frost has crept into the building, covering some of the floor. The many rooms and long hallways keep the cold air trapt, gathering it as they move through the building. 

“I’ve never been in the ShinRa mansion,” Tifa says, they pass yet another empty room. Has just a bed and a stark chair and empty desk with a computer, “it was off-limits to most of the town’s people.”

“Off-limits?”

Tifa nods, “Private property, it used to be...I don’t know. I wasn’t born yet, when the mansion wasn’t ShinRa’s.”

Just that it used to belong to someone else. Hojo maybe? Was it his all along? 

They finally come to a room, in the far back, on the lower level. It’s huge, circular and has massive bookshelves lining the walls. In the far back, against a window facing the mountain, two large mako tanks are placed ominously, a large computer network hooked up to many screens. 

It’s different in this room, the cold is pushed out and all the tech is still on. Looks to be recently used. No layer of dusting. He comes here often then. 

Hojo….

She’s not sure what to do about him either. Flashes of him adding to their fight linger, but it’s too far away to alter those events still. They might have to go for him first. She sighs. Rubs at her temple. 

Tifa’s picking through all the datapads, the books and papers. A frown growing more and more on her face.

“Anything?” Aerith asks her. Anything useful, anything that might spark a memory, or tell her where mysterious materia is hiding. 

“No...this,” she swallows, “it’s all on Sephiroth.” Tifa pulls her attention away from the desk. Silently moves over to the main computer against the far wall.

“Think you can get in?” Aerith follows her, leans in close, “might be something on his main computer?”

A bit of luck, really. Tifa taps the screen, boots it out of sleep mode and into the main hard drive. 

No password. Weird. They both blink in confusion at it. Free access to Hojo’s data? Seems not right, gives her prickling at her back. A trap?

“Look,” Tifa reaches out again, touches a browser with loading dots across the bar, “it’s updating.”

Real-time? This computer gets all of Hojo’s updates from his Midgar lab? They stare as incoming data files beep at them, dated right, at the exact time it is. Must be. Then, that’s why access is already open, must be receiving Hojo’s new results. For whatever he’s doing. 

“Wanna see what he’s up to?” 

Not really, it’s pretty traumatizing every time they do. Aerith reaches out and taps over the files anyway. 

It’s an updating results page, looks to be on JENOVA. Most of it is inconclusive, things that she can’t really wrap her head around. 

“Here, what’s this?” Tifa taps on an odd names video file, under it, the notes say;

 **Useful for Project Reunion.**

-Nibelheim subjects: Test with newly found mutated JENOVA DNA. Injection necessary. 

-Conclusive results on first rounds of subjects: Primary candidate(s) for second round.

-One success: Subject CS

-Receptive to Mako

-Needs stimuli to accept JENOVA control.

“Cloud?” Aerith whispers. Her stomach drops, she’s not liking where this is going. The video files are dated years ago, but the notes are real-time loading into the massive records of Project Reunion. 

Tifa’s clicking on the video files, “Wait,” Aerith grabs her wrist, “Tifa, I don’t know if we want to see this.”

It’s too late, the file opens. Footage from high up, someone in a lab they haven’t seen in the mansion yet. In the corner, it’s labeled Nibel cameras, lab three. Hojo walks in, followed by a few other people in coats, some ShinRa troopers. They are carrying an unconscious Cloud and a barely moving Zack. Nearly five years ago. Cloud looks...smaller. Not as muscled out and he’s in a blood-stained trooper uniform. They are both placed onto empty cots, poked at, hooked up to an IV. 

Hojo comes around and inspects them immediately. There’s no sound, but it’s clear he’s checking their vitals, takes some of their blood. 

The video jumps. 

It’s horrible. 

A different lab, looks to be lab five, a year forward in time. This must be underground, for the floor to have so many labs. It’s filled with mako tanks, a few weird looking fleshy masses in most of them. On the closest to the camera, right next to each other. Zack and Cloud float in the glowy green mako. Aerith reaches out and grips Tifa’s arm, holds in her gasp as they watch Hojo lets Cloud out of his tank.

His body just crashes to the floor, drags him up onto a table and straps him down. 

“Oh god….” Tifa’s voice is barely audible. It’s horrible, but hard to look away. 

Hojo...does things to Cloud. Hooks him up to a mako IV, presses on his body with scalpels, collects samples of flesh and blood from him. 

The pain-inflicting starts right after. No sound...but the thrashing Cloud’s body does is violent and even through the older file, it’s hard to miss the wincing and the tears on his face.

“Okay, no, no,” Aerith clicks away, taps her finger on the updating report again. 

She can just hear Cloud’s screaming in her head. Mixes with adjacent time memories. Tifa’s too still next to her. The tension in her arms, she’s mad. 

“Years….” she says, bites at her lip in anger, “he did this to them for years.”

The computer beeps at them. The report keeps loading. A lot of it is on other test subjects, but it’s all about Project Reunion. Starts listing factors needed for success in a subject.

**Variables for Project Reunion:**

-Mako: Allows mutation in cellar constructs. 

-Stimuli: Allows easier control for JENOVA cells.

-Drugs/Overexpose to mako/Pain Infliction

-Mind Status: Psyche break/Weaken will/Metal Deterioration

-Psyche break works best: Mind intact. 

**Expected Results: Subject CS  
**

-Complete control over the subject.

-Newly mutated J-Cells, combat with newly discovered Z-Cells. Should slow mutation of JENOVA immunity. 

-Injection with S-Cells should allow mutation to complete the cloning process. 

All it really tells them is that they can’t let Hojo get his hands on Cloud again. Complete the cloning process? How is that possible? Sephiroth isn’t gone...he’s...she doesn’t know what he is. So far, his presence has just been an illusion. JENOVA running around with his face on. Somewhere though, the real him is out there. 

The report just confirms her biggest fear, that JENOVA has mutated. But...Aerith figured that the moment she felt all of Gaia’s spirit gone from the trees and the plants in Nibelheim. 

She needs to know how that happened. Because of the timestreams collapsing, is JENOVA collecting information like she is?

Is-is Sephiroth a similar anchor, like Cloud, to JENOVA? 

“Okay….you were right. I shouldn’t have looked,’ Tifa says, turns her back to the computer.

The look on her face, mimics Aerith’s thoughts. She just keeps seeing Cloud in pain. She gets it a little more now. Why Zack is so attached to him. Doesn’t really let him too far from his personal bubble. 

It’s all just horrifying insight to what Hojo is up too, but nothing that will help them really. 

They need to find...something on materia. Anything, there must be something. ShinRa is obsessed with it, so much so they’ve learned to create their own basic ones. 

“You think, if we search his database, anything will come up?” Aerith’s already tapping around on the screen. Brings up an overall browser to the info stored. Types materia into the search bar. 

“I think we can’t trust Hojo’s information,”

Tifa’s not wrong. He thinks JENOVA is a Cetra being; persevered for the greater usage for ShinRa. It’s hard to think how skewed Hojo’s mind must be if he believes JENOVA is actually good for the planet. That it will get them closer to the ‘promised land’.

Still, after all the knowledge from her counterparts, it’s never come up. It’s location or it’s truth. Whether it’s real or not. She’s starting to think it’s just the lifestream, just a kind way of saying after death, everyone returns to it. 

A lot of results turn up. Most from years ago, before the reactor malfunctioned, before Sephiroth was even alive. There’s a few mentions of materia she’s never heard of. Rambles of ‘weapons’ of the planet. The ones the Cetra built. 

And chaos...whatever that is supposed to be. Hojo talks about it as if it’s a thing, a person and not something that just happens. 

A sudden clash of thunder shakes the whole mansion. They both jump, collide into each other. They break out in nervous laughs, stay leaning on one another for a moment until their hearts calm back down.

“Sounds like Cloud,” Tifa says through her breath. 

“Think they are okay?” 

“Mm, yeah, come on, let’s see if we can get into the labs.”

It has to be underground. Aerith didn’t notice any other odd-looking entrances. 

They search through the rest of the mansion, upstairs, in all the empty rooms. They find nothing. It’s giving her a headache. Mild and just strong enough to irritate her without a distraction. 

She’s missing something. Yet again. Aerith huffs; blows at the strains of hair getting in her face.

“Don’t give up, there has to be something here.”

Something other than more suffering for Cloud and Zack. She can’t believe how much. Seems never-ending. They trace back down to the first level, double back towards the entrance. There were a few rooms they missed on their left. 

Another round of shaking thunder makes them jump. It doesn’t let up this time, follows up with more and the loud clap of lightning right after. 

The front door bursts open too, letting a sudden blizzarding snow and ice rush in. Red and Kunsel are looking around wildly, heavy from running all the way down from the reactor.

“Tifa, Aerith,” Kunsel spots them, “we have to go, now.”

What no….she needs to keep looking. It’s there in her headache, something she’s missed.

“What happened?” Tifa’s already rushing to him, leaving Aerith in the depths of the hallway, “you found something in the reactor?”

Kunsel snorts, “yeah, a fucking headache and some creepy shit.”

That’s not very helpful. Aerith frowns There’s a lot of creepy things around Nibelheim. 

“Like what-”

“-Like, we don’t have time, we have to go. _Now_. Zack and Cloud need help.”

Help?

The mansion shakes again and splitting of wood echoes with the thunder over them. Aerith yelps, a massive fleshy mass is pushing through the back of the mansion. It’s oozing black. 

“Ew, what the hell-” Tifa’s stopped in her tracks, twists around and reaches for Aerith. 

“Yeah,” Kunsel’s drawing his blade, “now, we gotta go, the reactor is overrun.”

With JENOVA? 

“Aerith,” Red calls her, in his soft voice and calm manner, “there are answers elsewhere. It’s not too late.”

Except that JENOVA flesh is growing and it shouldn't be _here_. She disagrees, too late has come and gone. If JENOVA is like this in Nibelheim, it’s likely spread to other places too. They are losing. 

Tifa’s tugging her along, narrowly getting them out of the way as JENOVA starts to force her- _it’s, damnit_ , in. Long, thick fleshy...arms, wiggling in from the mountainside. It’s overtaking the mansion. Follows with a weird groaning. 

It pulses her headache, sees a weird flash of chaotic red and black-

_-”No! Get down, Cloud!” She reaches for him, but JENOVA’S already wrapping herself around his torso, drags him down into the depths of the lake. It’s too dark to see him, the water murky and inky with JENOVA’s blood and liquid._

_She’s blocked from getting closer, too chaotic in the forest, with JENOVA reaching out and spreading infection into the trees. They are dying, fast, too much alien fungi on them. Sucking out the lifestream and using it to boost its own growth._

_They are so close, she just needs to get him back from the water. It’s fine…._

_It hasn’t been too long…_

_He’s…_

_Aerith chokes on her trapped breath and her blurry vision just gets worse. The noise around her grows and shakes her bones. JENOVA is enclosed around her. She’s alone._

_“Cloud…” whispers for him in her distress._

_“Aerith,” she gasps, it’s...it’s not Cloud, but, “Time to leave,”_

_He’s around her suddenly, out of nowhere and she’s so very thankful. Slashes through the closest JENOVA arm and materializes from under his red cloak. Vincent's bright eyes are glowing in the growing dark and orange haze from JENOVA. A sign of the chaotic energy inside him is close to the surface. His frown set more than usual. He steps into her space and gently wraps his cloak around her._

_“But...Cloud…”_

_Vincent's eyes pull sadder, “We can not save him, I’m sorry,”_

_She knows he’s right. Too long in the lake. JENOVA drowned him. She’ll...it, will kill them too. Rushing in at them and overpowering. Even for Vincent's deep power. She steps into his body, wraps an arm around his slender waist._

_“It won’t be long now,” She says as the familiar pull of his flurry and strength lifts them from the ground._

_Won’t be long till the timeline collapses and resets._

_It’s sweet of Vincent, to stay with her until then.-_

-”hold on, I know now, there’s help,” She yanks out of Tifa’s grasp and darts down the hallway.

“Aerith!”

“Go,” she looks back at them, as the blizzard keeps rushing in the front door and JENOVA keeps ripping apart the mansion. He’s close, just past the next door down and down the spiral staircase. Their way out, Vincent, “I’m getting help, go find Cloud and Zack.”

She doesn’t wait for them to answer, just bursts into the last cold room, and runs to the floor’s trap door. Yanks it open with haste, spurred by her panic. She can hear JENOVA crushing the mansion above her. 

Barely gets out of the way from a wiggling arm, jumping down into the stone steps and rushes down the circle. It’s shorter than what she sees in her memory. And it doesn’t lead to the lab that’s hidden somewhere beneath Nibelheim. Down into a cavern that Hojo never finished developing. 

The lone door, lurking behind it, someone who can offer his help. She laughs a little, so much like Cloud. He’s a little cagey. That’s okay. She’s got just enough time.

She runs, bursts through the door with the loudest noise she can make. JENOVA shaking the ground around her.

“Vincent!”

***

Cloud can’t stop his body shaking, freezing over in fear.

No

No, no, this doesn’t happen outside his head.

He knew he felt him...but he thought...a ghost feeling from the JENOVA creature. Thought Sephiroth wasn’t able to be here without those infected husks anymore. There can’t be more? That they didn’t see?

But he’s right here, right in front of him, a smug smirk on his lips and head titled at a horrid angle. His right eye, mainly hidden from his silver hair, a dark veiny wiggle cuts under it. Under his skin, slithering. 

Sephiroth huffs out a flat, airy laugh. 

Keeps pushing his blade through Zack.

_Zack._

He can’t do this, he can’t just freeze over every time Sephiroth shows, no matter if it’s in his head or real. Cloud reaches behind him for his fusion sword-

Fuck.

It’s all split and stuck in the snow, just behind the water tower. 

“R-un,” Zack spits out, blood drips from his lips, tries to reach out for him. 

Cloud’s too frozen and all his fear of Sephiroth and losing Zack fill the emptiness in him. His left arm throbs, pulsing running up his veins, and feels as if it's on fire. 

His distress must trigger a reaction with the little mana he has left in his veins. The storm he let drift off starts to pull back. It’s stronger, pulling the winter snow clouds from over the mountain. Bigger and dark and colder, from his burst of panic. 

It pushes through his fear, breaks whatever is holding his body. 

He twists, bolts behind him to grab at his sword. 

He can’t let Zack die. 

He’s nearly reached the first one, glinting at him, deep in the snow, when the whole ground under Nibelheim shakes. Rocks everything so roughly, the burned building frames tremble and split. Throws Cloud off balance.

A horrible smell wafts over from the water tower, thick and heavy. Cloud gags, tries to gain his balance in the shaking. The old wooden tank holding in stale water cracks, slowly and loud. Splinters down and a loud humming starts to grow.

It’s coming from the plants, all around, deep and off-key. Too many voices at once, just one after another. Sounds like muffled words that Cloud can’t quite understand. 

The water tank bursts and a massive wave of black JENOVA liquid erupts in all directions. Floods the ground, rushes at Cloud, swirling up over his ankles and grows. It’s burning hot, purple-ly flames and boiling black slowing him down, swallowing him.

The shaking gets worse, the humming turns to raspy inhales of dead whispers and higher screams. In front of him, behind him, from his side, massive JENOVA tentacle arms shoot out from the snow and the black ooze. They tower over him, freshly grown, he can see the veins pulsing in the pinkish skin. The dark purple and black spots inky and slimy, bleeding out and changing colors. 

He’s trapped, JENOVA’s cut him off from his swords.

He starts to shake harder, some rage filtering in past the fear. He turns back to Zack, crackling his lightning materia in his wrists, and begs the storm above to listen to his needs. Only the thunder answers and the rain pours from the dark clouds, shifting to ice and heavy snow as it hits the cold front he’s pulled in from the mountains. 

He can’t get back to Zack, the black boiling liquid is thickening, trapping him in its decaying hold. 

He can’t reach Zack.

He can’t save him.

His eyes sting.

Watches as Sephiroth twists Masumne roughly inside Zack, rips into his flesh with a twisting cut, and lifts him from the ground. There’s blood dripping, pooling on top of the snow, a dark forewarning. 

Sephiroth is staring at Cloud, sea eyes cold and a flat smile on his lips, mocks him with his eyes as he flings Zack off into the ruins, and the rumble of the hollowed out buildings. It’s far enough and in a direction that pulls at Cloud.

Right into his burned down house. 

“Zack!”

The storm is too big to control, snow and ice, and wind whipping around Cloud. Making it harder to see through the weird orange JENOVA haze. Doesn’t seem to phase Sephiroth or the JENOVA arms. 

The shaking finally stops, but an ear-splitting screech is ringing in his ears. The black ooze has burned through his boots and his clothes, burning his skin. He can feel blisters and boils bubbling up all over his legs. 

His left arm throbs again. He can’t stop his shoulder’s jerky movements. 

It’s getting hard to breathe with the decaying and the coppery stench. 

“Mother,” Sehpiorth walks slowly to him. Full of confidence and ease as if he knows he’s already won, “don’t wait for me.” 

He’s….he’s talking to the JENOVA flesh. The massive arms twist and shake. Jerk once and freeze. All at once, they shove in at Cloud, crowding him in. He can’t jump away, the black liquid has thickened so much he can’t even lift his foot half a step.

They collide with him, slithering over his torso, twisting around his thighs and his arms. The JENOVA flesh is hot and cold, searing his skin and then freezing it over. Feels like pins and needles digging into him. 

His vision blurs and the air is too cold in his lungs. His fear should be overwhelming, with JENOVA squeezing him, lifting him from the black ooze, and Sephiroth easily walking through the liquid.

But all he can think about is Zack.

He’s dead. He’s sure of it, their connection is just filled with static. He can’t reach him. 

He tries. 

Over and over.

Zack.

_Zack._

Za-

“Now, there’s a good boy,” Sephrioth’s pushing into his mind, too close to him in reality. 

The static turns painful and he….

He doesn’t know where he is. 

Why? It’s so much pain. Why does he deserve this? 

Another airy laugh, soft and low.

A slithering around his middle tightens, traps the cold air in his body. 

Among the rotting, he can smell mint.

Sephiroth’s reaching out, brushing his hair back too gently. Too much like Zack. Why? Why is he always touching him as Zack does? His vision blurs more, but he’s not sure if it’s the crushing JENOVA tentacles or his stinging tears. 

“Don’t fight us, Cloud,” Us? He used to say ‘me’. 

Something is very wrong with Sephiroth. His veins creepy black from under his hairline, dark and fading towards his eyes. They wiggle constantly, pulsing in his blood and shifting under his skin. His movements are off, too jerky and stiff and he’s too pale to even be alive, almost grey. 

Deep, dark dread fills him. It’s JENOVA….she’s winning out over him. 

“Mother, whenever,” he says, caresses the thickest tentacle arm twisting around Cloud’s middle, “the other one still needs to die.”

Zack.

_No._

JENOVA’s shifting him, digging into his body, crushing him too tightly. Makes him gasp out and wince. The twisting slithers up around his neck and that horrid nightmare he had days ago flashes in his mind. Instinctively gags. 

Arches his neck and tries to keep JENOVA from enveloping over his face. 

A wrong-tone whispering is too loud in the static. In his head. In his ears, all around him. Slowly driving him insane. Cuts into his memories and blocks him from reality for short bursts of time. 

“Puppet” she’s calling him. 

Four smaller fleshy arms rise from...somewhere. He’s off-balance and can’t see where the horizon line is. Thrashes the best he can to try and get free.

Sephiroth tsks, “Don't fight us," a command, harsh and angry. Cloud thrashes again. 

He can't break JENOVA's hold, but it causes more rage in Sephiroth. He raises Masamune. Face flat and eyes angry, sides the long blade right under his shoulder armor, immobilizing his shoulder with a bright flare of searing pain.

He bites into his lip to keep from screaming. Tastes his own blood.

The four smaller tentacle arms twitch, shift and harden, the ends elongating into tiny, weird crystalized needles. They lift and hover at Cloud, seeming to watch him.

And then a sharp prickling feeling adds into the burning wound around Masamune. All four long JENOVA made needles dig into his left arm, slipping easily under his skin and look for his veins. 

Everything goes too hazy. 

Liquid floods his veins, feels it cooling, and then flaring. 

Feels like mako and mana and something too thick.

Shouldn’t be there, it doesn’t belong in his body. 

Taste of copper and sour lingers in the back of his mouth.

It’s cold in the storm.

Everything is going darker, getting hard to make out. 

Heat burning up his head and slimy, wiggling in his arm. 

Static.

“Hello,”

Too loud.

“My,”

Who is….

“Puppet,”

***

His chest is throbbing, cuts in through the cold and the darkness. 

All energy has left him, can barely even keep his lungs taking air in. Can’t even try to pull the mana in his veins for healing. One ragged breath after another, flares up the pain in his back, in his chest. It’s slow stitching, his wound, too fast, and too much damage.

If he makes it, it’ll scar deep, probably worse than his jaw. 

This time, when his lungs stutter, his whole body aches with it, feels colder.

Icy.

Thunder rumbles above him, muffled. He’s inside?

“Hey,” familiar, he knows that voice, “come on, time to get up, pup.”

“Nh…” Zack groans and shifts his whole body. It’s a mistake, pulls at the sword wound. 

Solid, burned wooden flooring and patches of snow gently piling in the dark greet him. He has to blink rapidly to wet his eyes, gain better focus. 

He’s alone. Zack frowns, he thought he’d heard…

It takes all his strength to shift again, push up onto his hands with shaking arms. When he manages, blood stains the floor under him.

Sephiroth threw him into a burned down house. Right through the barely-there ceiling. He snorts, figures. Falling through ceilings just reminds him of Aerith. Hurts way more this time. 

His lungs don’t hurt as much, breathing easy a little. He pulls on what mana he can, to his fingertips and slowly, touches his chest. Feels the blood coating immediately. 

He manages to HEAL enough, that it starts to slow and his breathing doesn’t sting every time. Just, every other instead. He can hear the odd-wrong toned humming from the plants. Seems louder in the quiet stillness of the house. 

“Fuck,” he winces and hisses as he moves to stand. 

A scar for sure, not even his advanced healing will stop that. He’d be dead, without it. 

He’s in a bedroom, ceiling mostly collapsed in and most of the inner wood burned, the still intact window barely touched. It’s sad, things still there but damaged by smoke and flame. Books, the blankets on the bed frayed and rough. There’s even a small wooden picture frame, half-burned and fallen flat. 

He reaches for it, seems wrong, that it’s hidden…

His heart thuds, he knows the half-burned picture under the cracked glass.

It’s Cloud, younger than Zack’s seen him. The woman he’s standing with must be his mother. Only half her face is visible under the crisped and blackened edges. He looks like her. Even so young. Same deep blue eyes and pale hair. 

Sephiroth tossed him right into Cloud’s childhood home. 

Brings some of his energy back, reassurance. Makes him feel closer to Cloud. 

Thunder rumbles above him again, much louder. He sees the lightning shatter across the sky through the ceiling hole. 

“Zack!”

Cloud-that’s Cloud shouting for him. Zack winces with his steps. Pushing through the pain is his only option, Cloud sounds panicked. He needs him. 

The rest of the house is burned in and in pieces. He has to leap down onto the second floor, re-opens some of his stitching together skin. He hisses and grits too hard on his teeth. Holds his chest as he slowly stumbles through the house. 

It’s all a ghost and probably just Cloud’s link leaking into his own, but he swears, he can see the flushed out kitchen, whole and how it should be. Can see where an old couch was butted up against the burned in staircase, cornered oddly and tucked in. 

Again, resolves his energy and his pain. Making him long for Cloud and pulling from his painful mind fog. 

Gets him to the door at least.

It’s all white, blizzard raging, and the wind howling. The falling ice and snow cut at his skin, bitting, and freezing. The water tower just barely stands out of the whiteout and the weird orange gradient drifting from the JENOVA plants. He can’t see Cloud or Sephiroth. 

Shut his eyes to push past his aching and reaches for Cloud.

Static, it’s all just painful, dull static. A wall in front of him, won’t let him in, it’s fleshy and weird black oozing vines grow all over it. Zack’s heart starts racing. Sephiroth, must be Sephiroth blocking him from Cloud. 

A painful, raspy scream drifts to him in the neverending storm. Kicks rage into his stomach and his chest, he shakes. 

Gives him enough to ignore the burning and the cold. Voices carry in a storm like this, but Nibelheim is small and the town nearly circles the water tower. He’s got a lucky guess and it brings more rage to him.

Shakes him apart from the inside. Zeros in on Sephiroth. 

He’s got Cloud entangled in the JENOVA arms, choking him and pinning him. Something’s injecting into his arm and Sephiroth is just twisting Masamune slowly under Cloud’s shoulder armor. 

Red, he sees red. 

All the pain leaves him and he just shakes with the anger. Reaches for his buster. Pulls in everything he has, feels the strength erupting all over his body.

With heaving breaths and uncontrollable rage, he’s near screaming. Jolts forward, buster pulled back and slashes. Cuts through the air so fast, all the snow stops for a mere few seconds after the wake of his blade. 

Sephiroth vanishes, a few black feathers drifting down and a faint laugh on the wind.

His buster cuts through all the tentacle arms twisting and squeezing Cloud. Rips them open with a harsh scream. JENOVA writhes, falls down into the cooling black liquid, shutters, and starts to curl in to hide the sliced ends. 

Zack doesn’t let Cloud fall, catches him with an arm, and pulls him against him. He’s awake but his eyes are blank.

Too similar to his coma eyes. The JENOVA flesh around him twists and shrivels, under Zack’s touch, they turn to dust and crumble away. Cloud’s warm. Jerky trembles that shudder through his whole body. His left arm looks…

Unrecognizable. Twisted just on the side of wrong, it has to be broken. Blood’s draining from the sword wound, coating nearly every inch of his skin down to his elbow. Thick puffed up injection sites ooze black and pulse in their own weird off rhythm. His skin’s veiny, fading from black at the little wounds. 

He’s hot to the touch, a fever, laboring his breathing.

Zack can’t even look at the burns and the boils on his legs, the bruising already forming where JENOVA was holding him. 

His rage leaves him and his pain returns. Brings him to his knees in the draining liquid and the still fresh snow. 

“Cloud…” his vision is unfocusing, reaching out to cup at Cloud’s cheek with a still bloodied hand. 

Shaking, he’s still shaking. 

No...wait. It’s not him, it’s the ground. It’s shaking. 

Another black feather. Floats down just a foot from them, a warning in the snow.

Not that Zack can do anything, he’s zapped everything he’s got. Even took away from some of his healing. He can barely hold onto Cloud, so when the pain erupts in his side, hot and sharp, he can’t really shove away. 

All sound falls from his ears. Curls in and down around Cloud.

“S-sorry,” he slurs out, breath little puffs in the cold, “‘M bleedin’ on you ‘gain.”

Sees long silver hair before he can’t keep out the enclosing darkness. 

***

She’s moving as fast as she can, thighs burning as she runs down the steep path into town. She can barely see anything past the whiteout in the massive storm. Must have collided with the system over the mountains when they arrived, Cloud’s thunderstorm trick rolling into one intense, raging mass of ice and lightning. 

She can hear the off toned groaning, can still smell the decay, and feel the heat from the purple-ly flames in the black ooze. It’s all over the ground. 

The ground that starts to shake apart just as she’s leveling out into town.

It stings. Tifa can’t help the painful, teary gasp. Even in this state, all burnt to the ground and covered in JENOVA. It’s still a sharp memory that aches her heart.

Nibelheim, she’d loved it. Never really wanted to leave. She loves the mountains and the valley fields. Even with the reactor sucking away so much of the greenery, it hadn’t touched the surrounding nature. Stopping just at the treelines that Cloud always lingered in. 

It’s tainted now. 

“Red,” She says into the wind, “We need help, a way out.”

“I got it,” he’s already rushing around her and darting ahead. 

Just barely, in the wall of snow, she can see Zack and Cloud, curled in on the ground. JENOVA...things are rising up from the snow around them, she’d say they are arms, but bulbous bubbles grow all over them. Thick with dark liquid. Little swaying plants the color of drying blood bloom around, wherever the JENOVA flesh is sprouting. 

Every other few seconds, one of the tentacle arms tries to rush at Zack and Cloud. Collides with nothing, just a few inches from them. 

Weird, like an invisible wall is stopping it. 

“What the fuck-” Kunsel’s drawing his blade, coming to a halt at her side. His brows are still furrowed down with pain.

The JENOVA infection must be irritating him too. 

“Headache still there?” she asks, making her way after Red.

“Worse,” he hacks away at some of the grey-inky flesh, black ooze squirting out at them, “Ugh, fuckin’ disgusting.”

He cuts away enough so they can get into the clean circle of snow surrounding Zack and Cloud. 

“Hey, Buddy,” Kunsel’s falling to his knees, reaching out to touch Zack. 

“Oh god…” she hadn’t seen it in the storm’s haze.

A thin long sword is stuck in through Zack’s side, pinning him down against Cloud and stuck into the ground. Sephiroth is nowhere. Zack’s head yanks back, glancing up at them. There’s blood dripping from his lips. Tifa covers her gasp and ignores her tears. 

Around them, JENOVA is still growing. A slow steady rise of black liquid slipping toward them, from the hollowed out buildings.

Red’s jumping around off burned down structures, up to the water tower above them. His tail flares brightly in the storm, he flicks it high and waves a few times. 

“Zack,” Kunsel’s stroking back the hair from his face, “I gotta pull this thing from you.”

The sword. It’s Sephiroth’s. She recognizes it. She’s held it. But where is he?

Zack laughs, bubbly from the blood stuck in his throat, “S-sure.” he croaks out. 

Cloud’s a still body laying against him, eyes open and staring off at nothing.

They have to get out of Nibelheim, JENOVA is growing out of control. It seems enraged that they are here. She glances behind her, for any sign of Aerith. She said to go ahead, she had to get someone first.

Someone. She can’t imagine who’s going to help them out here.

Kunsel tries his best to go quickly, to not tear more at the wound in Zack’s side. Hissing and winces come from him anyway. He doesn’t move either when he’s free of Sephiroth’s weapon. Just hunches back down around Cloud. 

“Shit, Tifa, look.” Kunsel’s skimming Zack’s back, gentle touches to keep him grounded.

Two blooded patches in his clothes, tears. Sephiroth impaled him twice. 

He won’t make it for much longer. She sees the weakening HEALING veins on his skin, trying to reach his injuries, but whatever state Cloud is in. Seems to be limiting their mutual healing ability. Zack’s losing too much blood. 

The ground starts shaking again and that off-toned screaming gets louder. The JENOVA flesh around them starts to bubble up and grow. Even from the buildings, alien-looking things are growing too quickly, out of control. A mess of tangled pinky-grey flesh and weird crustacean-like fungi following. 

Aerith wasn’t kidding, when she said JENOVA quickly gets out of hand. That stopping it at this point is...near impossible without help.

Without her HOLY materia. 

Tifa swallows, pulls in for her Chakra materia. Fiends are starting to waken. Their roars and screams fill the air, overpowering the weird deep tone hum from the JENOVA infection. 

Really, _really_. They need to leave. Right now.

“Red?” She calls up to him.

“Not yet,” he flickers his tail again, “Storm is too big.”

Damnit. 

Aerith needs to get her pretty self here right now. She won’t be able to get past all this infection if sh-oh good, there she is. 

“Aerith!” She’s bursting through the snow and ice. Shivering in her sundress and rushing right to them. 

“I found help,” she’s twirling out her staff, flicks it and a bright, hot flame explodes from the end. Tifa can feel its heat, even from the distance between them. Aerith chucks it over some of the JENOVA. It thrashes and burns, seems to dry out, and retreats from the black ooze still coming their way. 

“Help?” Tifa’s running out to her, grabs her hand and pulls her into the weird safe zone close to Zack. 

Why...is it, is it Zack? He’d said before...his cells can override JENOVA’s. 

“Yeah,” Aerith’s trying to catch her breath too fast, “thought we might need it.”

Tifa really wishes everyone would stop jinxing them. Maybe they should make a no-chit-chat in dangerous situations pact. 

The shaking gets worse and more massive JENOVA flesh appears, all knotted and twisting and she can’t even say they are tentacle arms. They're just...a mass, trying to become something. She gags on the swell wafting from them, at the splotchy red and black patches on its slimy skin. 

A few of the biggest ones, shoot up into the air and sway. There are hundreds of eyes, all blinking open and rolling on top of one another. Looking for something, for them? Vibration runs through them and all the other flesh masses freeze, twist their way.

“Oh no,” Aerith says, she backs up, putting herself in front of Zack and Cloud. 

Tifa goes on their other side and Kunsel stands, crowding in on Zack’s back. All three of them breathing in sync, shielding their fallen friends. 

“Seriously, Red,” Tifa calls up, “anything?”

The JENOVA masses shutter. And all at once, rush at them. Some sprout odd-looking limbs to propel faster, others long tentacle arms. It’s way too many to fight off, even if Aerith’s already tossing flames into the creatures. 

They’ll be overrun-

-except. A rush of red and black circles around them, just as the weird fiends get close enough to leap at them and attack. Blocks them all and sends them back in waves. 

“Oh, good, I thought maybe you’d changed your mind,” Aerith says. Way too calm. Tifa’s heart is beating out of her chest. Jumps when a particular nasty JENOVA arm seems to be lingering in her eyesight. Feels like it’s locked on to her. 

Another flash of red and black; sounds almost like a deep voice following it. What….

“HIGHWIND inbound,” Red calls, leaping down into their circle. 

Even among the chaotic and horrifying JENOVA overtake, the bow of the HIGHWIND appearing from the clouds and the snow makes her gasp. It’s colossal size sparking a sense of safety in her. In the howling of the wind and the ever-growing screaming and groaning of JENOVA and fiends, Barret’s loud tenor rolls down to them.

“Find some trouble?”

He’s propelling down on a thick wire, shooting off rounds as JENOVA tries to reach up and grab at him.

“Just a bit,” Tifa laughs, breathless and even though her heart is still trying to rip from her body, she smiles genuinely as Barret’s reaching out for her. 

“What happened to our SOLDIERS?” He asks, shoots a nasty looking mangled mass back.

The same thing keeps happening to them. It makes her sad and she tries not to think about what she and Aerith saw in the mansion. They haven’t just been running from ShinRa. They’ve been running from suffering and pain. Follows them unfairly. 

Barret’s kneeling, already slinging Zack over his shoulder. She hadn’t noticed, he’s out like a light.

It’s not good. Looks paler too. She tries to ignore the blood all over Cloud, in the snow. She knows it’s Zack’s. Kunsel’s moving in on the empty space, lifting Cloud and pressing in behind her and Aerith.

“Okay?” Tifa asks him. His navy eyes are still swimming in discomfort.

“Be better away from...whatever this shit is.” He hikes Cloud more over his shoulder. 

They’ll have to sit him down, really tell him what’s going on. She hadn’t expected him to react to JENOVA. Seems all SOLDIERS have some kind of connection. It’s not good. Just means Hojo’s been doing more secret-keeping. 

Barret’s already being pulled back up, passing another cable lowering. Kunsel grabs it, looks her dead in the eyes.

“You first?”

No way, Cloud’s been non-responsive. She’ll chance being stuck in the growing chaos. Their boys first.

“Go on, up you go,” Tifa turns her back, builds her chakra some more, and sends a massive wind punch at a JENOVA creature trying for Aerith. 

Now that Zack’s been taken up, their little safety ring has disappeared. The black liquid oozing is at their shoes, hot and burning. She can feel the rubber on her boots starting to melt.

The snow isn’t...weird….

Just proves her guess too, it is Zack JENOVA can’t touch. 

“Aerith,” she steps in front of her, they press tight together. Red circling at their feet. His paws must be blistering in the black ooze. 

“You next Tifa,” She says, lighting her fire materia. Building another massive flame at the end of her staff. She tosses it far, into the mass growing from one of the buildings.

Tifa’s chest constricts, that’s her father’s barn Aerith just tossed fire onto. It explodes, flame licking across the JENOVA flesh and grows, catches onto the remaining beams fast. It lights up the whole frame. Burning in the snow, blistering anything grotesque inside. It triggers panic in Tifa, all she can see is empty land and dead human bodies. Fire everywhere.

Nibehelim is going up in flames again. 

“Shit, oops,” Aerith steps forward as if to go and put out the flames.

“Leave it,” Tifa can’t stop the tears in her eyes though, “let it burn.”

It’s not her Nibelheim anymore. It’s JENOVA’s now. The fire won’t kill it, but they need an escape.

One day, when they’ve finally figured out how to fix Aerith’s HOLY, they’ll come back. She'll save Nibelheim from its constant burning fate. At least...she got to see the mountains one last time, before JENOVA completely kills the forest and rivers off. 

The swirling red and black comes to a halt, lingers near them and out of the weird black smokey substance whisking from it, a man appears, gently touches down.

“There’s no time left to wait,” Like Cloud...he’s soft-spoken and flat toned. Minimal expression and calm fluttering of his eyes. 

He’s right, the snow has all but disappeared from their feet, black liquid crawling up their shoes. They’ve been completely surrounded by mutation and creatures, it’s blocking out the snow and the humming is loud. Screeching pounding with her heart. Even if she glances up, JENOVA arms are blocking out most of the view of the HIGHWIND. 

Somehow, fear has escaped her. All she feels is a rushing of go go go and a rage. She’s mad. Mad at Hojo for descending this onto them. Mad at ShinRa for being so careless with the planet.

She’d said...after the fire, after Cloud had stabbed Sephiroth through with his sword and tossed him over into the exposed lifestream in the mountains.

She’s done with ShinRa. With SOLDIERS. 

Somehow. She always knew. She never really would be. Her life is entangled with them.

“Vincent?” Aerith collapses her staff, looks up at the tall man with wide eyes.

He opens his long red cape, “I think three isn’t too much trouble.” 

Red hums at him, tilts his head, and shakes his tail, “Chaos...helping in the middle of chaos.”

What….

“Now’s the time,” Vincent says, flutters his cloak at them. 

Aerith slips right to his side, holding out her hand at Tifa. She’s not sure what this will do, but how can she ignore the pleading in Aerith's eyes.

She’s never steered her wrong...Tifa can’t just up and stop trusting her now. She takes her hand. Red curls right in under all their feet and there’s a rushing. Her head spinning and her feet are off the ground, so quickly it’s turning her stomach. 

And then, she’s fine. Landing back on solid wood flooring. The HIGHWIND. They’re on the HIGHWIND.

“Woah, holy geez, where’d this guy come from?” Jessie’s near shouting in her ear. She’s running toward her, eyes wide and concerned.

She sees Barret disappear down into the stairwell, Zack still across his shoulder. Kunsel with Cloud following him. Medical then. 

The HIGHWIND sways in the storm, it’s worse up in the clouds. The thunder louder and the lightning making everything glow around them. She rushes to the edge. She just has to see, can barely make out the buildings. Nestled in against the Nibel mountain, only the peak clear. The fire has spread, the only thing bright enough to stick out in the blizzard. She knows it’s growing, feeding off the remains of her hometown and off of JENOVA’s flesh. Even from high up, flying away, she can hear the screeching. High and painful.

Good. Let it suffer. 

“Tifa?” Jessie touches her arm.

“Yes, I’m fine," She looks to Aerith, still hovering close to Vincent. 

In a calmer space. He looks...kinder. His eyes a toned-down red. Not glowing with...whatever he is. And she’s sure it’s in him. There’s an odd air about him, a little otherworldly and adjacent to anyone she’s ever met.

Even SOLDIERS. 

Right, her SOLDIERS. 

“Medical?” She glances at Jessie, gets a tight nod, and a thinned line on her lips. 

“Me too,” Aerith says, “there’s no doctor on the crew, is there?”

That’s stupid. Tifa can’t believe they’ve never even thought about it. Just started rushing into the fight. It might be good too...to have a scientist on board. With all the weird things pumping in SOLDIERS. 

She and Aerith rush down the stairs, listening to Cid shouting at Jessie and the others. The storm rages on around the ship as they cut through it, running from Nibelheim. As far as they can. 

Medical is down on the far end and without Barret or Kunsel coming into their view, they start running down the halls. 

Zack had looked...almost dead. Too much blood on the outside of him, on Cloud. In the snow. 

They rush into the medical wing, just as Barret is setting Zack down on the far bed. Cloud’s already one next to him, curling on his side and staring off at nothing. Aerith rushes past her, hands already glowing. Slips in close to Zack’s side and hovers her shaking arms over him. The green glow on her skin lights up bright, swirls along her delicate hands, and spreads into a large mist, hovering over Zack. Cascades over him and the little glowy orbs disappear into his skin with a soft melt. 

She’s already got tears in her eyes, tries to hide it from Tifa. From Barret.

“What do you need Aerith?” to save him. What does she need?

“A-anyone got a phoenix down?” Her voice betrays her. 

Kunsel starts, stands quickly, “shit, that bad? I do, in my room,” he’s rushing back out the door before he even finishes speaking.

“Ethers too!” Tifa calls after him. For Aerith when she tires. Looks like it’ll happen quickly. 

She knows he heard. SOLDIER hearing. 

She wants to go to Aerith but...Cloud. His arm looks real bad and his clothes are burned to almost nothing, legs blistering and burned. That black liquid. It’s started to melt the rubber on her shoes. How long was Cloud in that stuff?

Aerith will be okay. So Tifa goes to CLoud. Her own eyes blurring.

“Tifa,” Barret’s resting his large, warm hand on her shoulder, “You rest, I can do this.”

She shakes her head. No, she needs too. It’s _Cloud_ . It was _Nibelhiem_. She’s already left that to rot, a second time. 

She can’t do that to Cloud either. She needs to help him. 

“I got him,” she glances up at Barret, “maybe...make sure. We get somewhere safe? They need time to heal.”

And Cloud will need new clothes, they are burned and torn beyond repair. 

Barret nods, “I’ll speak with Cid. Holler if either of you need help.” he glances at Aerith too. Gets a nod from her. 

His footsteps are loud and heavy in the silence. 

Tifa doesn’t wait. She slips off Cloud’s boots, whatever is left of them. His weapon harness, it makes her freeze and gasp out.

Their weapons. She hadn’t seen them.

Aerith glances at her, eyes her taking off Cloud’s weapon holster and shoulder armor.

“Jessie and Biggs got them. Their swords, I didn’t even see them jumping over the side either. Saw up on the deck though.”

It relaxes only a small part of her worry. Zack and Cloud are both very attached to their broadswords. 

Cloud’s armor and harness are the only things in tact really. His pants are nearly destroyed from the thigh down and his shirt is ripped all along his torso. She can see the bruising peeking out under the dark fabric already. She undresses him with no help. He’s still limp and blank eyes. His skin breaking out in goosebumps in the cold air of the medical wing. 

Glancing around, she thought she’d seen-yeah, over there. In the corner. It’s not much, but a medical gown will help him not feel so exposed if he...snaps out of whatever he’s in. She grabs a larger one, a soft blue. Wraps him in it and ties it closed in the back. 

She’s pulling her own mana to her hands, hovers over his left arm. 

It’s bad. Clearly broken close to his elbow. That wound just under the shoulder is still bleeding. She casts a first-tier HEAL on him. She’s not a good healer, just enough to stitch up little wounds and slow down serious ones.

Looks like this one is pretty serious. She goes to the small bathroom just off to the right, fills a cup with warm water, and grabs a few towels. She tries not to look at Zack and Aerith on her way back towards Cloud. 

Wiping at the blood as gently as she can, Tifa cleans up his skin, is extra careful around the actual cut. It’s a lot of his blood. And judging by some of the placement, quite a bit of Zack’s too. 

In fact...she should clean that all up. Half his face is smeared in Zack’s blood. Even over his lips, dripped on his eye. Discerning, getting not even a grimace or an eye flicker as she wipes down his face. Daps at his neck and the collarbones. 

A lot of the blood had been soaked into his clothes. 

She tries to clean his hair the best she can. If it’s still stained a little and crusty. Well...he can shower later when he’s healed more. 

Tifa tries her HEAL once more, feels a bit better as Cloud’s arm snaps back into the right place. Even the wound on his shoulder starts to stitch together. It might scar with the uneven job her spell is doing. 

The four little round wounds are still puffy and oozing black. They look even more inflamed. Gently, Tifa rotates his arm, so she can face them up. The healing hasn’t had any effect on them. She should...clean them out. Tries not to gag thinking about it. She wonders what made them, they almost look like-

“-injection sites…” she mutters to herself, damps at one with the damp towel.

Cloud jerks when she touches one, whole body tenses and she swears his eyes shift to her, before they roll slightly. One more twitch and he’s out. No more blank stare and lifeless expression.

She’s not sure what is worse.

“What did you say?” Aerith says, turns from her spot against Tifa’s back. Sounds alarmed. 

“These look like injection wounds, from a needle, don’t you think?” Tifa says again.

Aerith’s face pales, turns her attention from Zack completely, and leans into Tifa’s side. Tifa’s never seen that level of intensive terror in her eyes. 

It’s easy to connect the dots, something in one of their timelines must be stressing her. Same thing that’s given Cloud the odd wounds.

“Aerith?” Tifa’s light in her touch, so she won’t spook Aerith. Takes her shaking hand in her own to help ground her. 

“No, no Tifa, this is all too early,” She’s still stuck in whatever loop of adjacent memories are running through her head.

She’s pulling at her strongest HEALING tier, pouring all the green glow into a concentrated stream that wraps tightly around Cloud’s left forearm. It’s so strong it blocks his skin from view, nearly so bright it hurts to look at. 

Nothing, when it fades, it’s done nothing.

“No!” Aerith shouts, a burst of frustration and angry tears. 

It’s unexpected and Tifa has never seen her like this. It’s not like her at all. 

“Hey,” she reaches for her, draws her close, and soothes down her long braid, “It’s okay. We’ll find a way to help him.”

“I should have told Zack…” she mumbles into her shoulder.

Told Zack what? She’s tried to be respectful, let Aerith tell her secrets when she thinks it's necessary. But maybe, they’ve all been too cautious about everything. Tifa can’t help but think, if she pushes Aerith just a bit more, she’d feel more comfortable telling her more. 

Or just shut her away. She’s not sure. The stress has been slowly chipping away at Aerith’s positive attitude. She’s quieter now, her smile reaching her eyes less and less. 

“Should have told Zack what?” Tifa asks. 

Aerith’s quiet, resting her forehead on her shoulder. It’s fine. Tifa will let her think. She can wait her out. She can see, she’s been too passive. Given Aerith too many outs. 

“About Cloud’s arm,” Aerith says softly, voice hard and flat, “It’s-”

But Kunsel’s rushing back in, interrupts her, and their attention is brought back to their injured SOLDIERS. 

“Here,” Kunels’s yanking the cork out of the thin glass jar, “It’s my last one.”

Aerith takes it, gently but with haste, titles Zack’s chin up, and pours it down his throat. It’s immediate, a soft bluish glow around his body and the color comes back into his face. It doesn’t close up his wounds, but the bleeding finally slows almost to a stop. Replenshines whatever his body lost. His breathing evens out. 

The three of them hold their breath, falling into relief as Zack shifts and lets out a quiet groan. 

His lashes flutter, trying to wake.

He doesn’t, body still low on energy, but he’s not close to death anymore. They can handle recuperating.

“Fuckin’...that was way too close,” Kunsel’s yanking up a chair, falls into it at Zack’s bedside.

He looks worn, his dark hair falling out of his normal sleek wolf tail. Blinks a lot, from dry eyes maybe. Stress. Tifa hopes Barret’s conceiving Cid to go somewhere laid back and safe. They all need some time. Everyone is under too much stress.

“Headache still?” Tifa asks him, focusing loosely on Aerith bandaging Zack’s wounds. 

Kunsel grunts in response, slips lower in the chair so he can reach out and eases Zack’s painful groans with a light touch on his arm.

“Sort of…”

“JENOVA…” Aerith says, not bothering to look up at him, “it’s in all SOLDIERS then?”

Silence is their answer. They won’t ever really know...like a lot of their knowledge, it’s easy to put together, once they find enough of the pieces. 

Unease follows, fills the room, and covers over them. Keeps them all in their heads. Tifa turns back to Cloud. She can only clean out his wounds as best she can and wrap them. If they won’t heal with Aerith's spells...his body will have to work it out. 

And time. Something they are running low on, but healing doesn’t really give anyone a choice. 

*** 

Hard to move. 

He’s...so slow. 

Hot, without the fire. Feels so much like burning. 

And the stench, decaying. It’s all he can breathe in, the only taste in his mouth. His own tongue is rotting, burned in holes, and stringy flesh. Ripping pain wakes him more, lighting up every tiny nerve he’s got. He still can’t move, his only choice is to take the pain and shake in his frozen state. 

It’s the heaviness keeping him still. All around him, sitting on his chest, slithers around his torso, and curls along his back. Every time his left-arm pulses, little tiny needles punch the back of his neck, sharper than a bite, too big to be real needles. 

Pulses in white-hot pain.

In constricting rhythms and just makes the stench all that much stronger. 

“-ack,” He feels blood slip over his lips and down his chin. 

Too thick to be just his blood. Inky, sees it dripping to the floor. 

Thick and black. 

The slithering over his body gets tighter. Lifting him, it’s lifting him. 

“Mother,” contrasting, a cold smooth voice. Sephiroth is clashing to the pain and the burning inside him, “ease up, we want the other one dead, remember?”

Dead? 

The slithering moves up. He can barely make out the mass of greyish pink and slimy purple-black ooze. 

He should know this….whatever she is. 

But the burning is pushing him into a smokey haze. 

Slithering.

_Yes, puppet._

Caressing so gently, Zack? 

“Cloud,” no, no, it’s not Zack. He wants to sob but he feels too hollow and empty, “open up and let us in, Cloud.” 

So vacant; starts swallowing the burning and freezing over into ice. 

Slithering.

Numbing.

Pain so much pain, it shocks him awake. The slithering gets faster, twisting all around his body and oozing black liquid. Rotting his flesh and he gags from the reeking glops of rot and flesh and coppery blood. Spilling from his mouth, clogging up his ears, there’s so much of it.

“Nn-mmm!” 

The slithers grace over his neck, touch his lips. Forcefully squeeze him into gasping and everything is pushing back in. Thick and oozing into his mouth; rots his tongue faster. Shoves down, burning his throat and raws his skin from the inside out. 

He chokes on the flesh squirming to get farther in. It’s drowning him, keeping the blood and the clotting inky liquid inside him. 

It’s getting dark….

Z-Z-ac-k

Sea….green….

“Good boy, let me in.”

Where….is...he…

“Don’t you want to help me?”

He...does….

……..

…..

…

.

He wakes, gasping, and shaking.

It’s dark and cold. He’s tired of being cold. Even if it runs in his blood and his body knows it well. 

A wave of nausea consumes him; dizzies his mind. It pushes him up, slowly. His body is jerky and everything aches all over.

Every step it aches less, drives away nausea, and settles his shakes. Dark in the room, he can’t focus too well yet. Makes his way through an open doorway. Restroom? His body is so weak. He has to hold himself up at the sink and breathe deep for long gasps at a time. 

Tastes kind of...minty.

“Mmph.” Odd. 

His lungs feel better with every deep breath and finally, the aches start to fade. Enough so he can straighten up without needing to lean.

Comes eye to eye with a mirror, a face he doesn’t know well staring back at him.

It’s not his face. 

“Mother, we’ve done well.”

Not his voice. 

His left arm tingles, slithering little motions in his veins, wiggling under his skin. Comforting, knowing she is with him all the time. Inky black, it’s very stark on his pale skin. 

None of it is his.

Except

His eyes

Sea green and JENOVA slitted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I KNOW OKAY, I AM SORRY FOR ANOTHER CLIFFHANGER.  
> Just, timing and flow man, it's so hard for me to resist it. ;__;
> 
> Also, I am sorry for all the suffering. I promise, I'll make it up to you guys.  
> At least...our fav, vampire-y Turk is with us now. :0  
> Thanks for reading, please don't yell at me too much (but also it's hilarious when you guys freak, I'm sorry, I love all of you.)
> 
> See Ya Next Time!


	22. If I Die Young, Bury Me In Satin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bittersweet is a weird ache.  
> ***WARNINGS**  
> ALIEN GORE, VIOLENCE, DUMB BOYS ARE DUMB

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay okay, I've had my fun, it's lots of extra sweetness after this chapter.  
> I can honestly say this time,  
> Happy Reading!

It’s been noon for hours now. The sun is high, going in and out of the scattered clouds. Just a slight breeze to keep the heat at bay.

Perfect. All blue skies and pretty reflections of the clouds in the grass. 

He’s never leaving. Just going to stay here, in the sun forever. It’s warm and safe. 

He doesn’t have to think and he’s not trapped. 

He’s free. 

“Hey, puppy,” 

Zack frowns, shifts to his side and curls in, tries to move around the shadow to be in the sun.

“Time to get up,”

No. He’s free here. Doesn’t have to do anything or save anyone. He can just be with the sky and the clouds…..

Cloud.

“Let’s go, I’ll stop being nice.”

Cloud isn’t here….

That’s...he doesn’t want that. The sky isn’t the sky without Cloud. 

Zack shifts on to his back again and begrudgingly opens his eyes. 

Angeal is leaning over him. 

“Uh-aren’t you dead?” Zack winces, probably shouldn’t say that to actual dead people. 

Angeal laughs, strong hand pressing against his chest to help contain it. Zack doesn’t get it. How is he here? He’s dead...he’s been dead...nearly eight years now. 

“Come on, you’ve rested enough. It’s time to give this another go.”

Give what another go? Zack pouts, he doesn’t want to. He wants to stay here. 

“What’s the matter? Usually, I have to hold you back.”

That….that was a long time ago. Zack sighs; covers his eyes with his forearm. Angeal can’t be here, how’s that possible? He’s not dreaming, he knows where he is.

Inside his own head. Where he can be with the sky. It’s nice here, just where he needs to be so he can heal. His brows furrow...heal.

Why does he need to heal? 

A sigh from above him and the light breeze of movement. Angeal sits down in the grass next to him.

“Reflective,” he says, Zack peeks one of his eyes out from under his arm. 

He looks the same as Zack remembers, strong jaw and stern expression. Got that wing Zack’s always wanted, folded back and out of the way. A JENOVA wing. He’s not sure he wants one anymore. It’s odd how JENOVA sprouts so beautifully in some. 

“What are you doing in here, hiding?” Angeal asks him. 

Hiding. No. 

Is he? He’s a little foggy. Got an ache in his chest and in his side, maybe he’s hiding from that. He’ll just...do what Cloud does. Maybe that will get him off whatever hook he’s on.

“Hmph.”

Angeal laughs, “Don’t know?”

A silence stretches out. So long Zack thinks he just imaged Angeal. He glances out from under his arm again.

He’s still there, a rare soft smile on his face. Zack’s whole chest starts to ache, the kind when something reminds you of good memories. 

Angeal glances down at him, must feel his stare. 

“You look good.”

Right...he’d been so young when Angeal died. A massive wave of longing crashes over him. He suddenly doesn’t care about anything else. It’s just nice to have Angeal back, talking, and laughing at him.

So  _ real. _

“I’m sorry, Angeal,” he says, while he’s still got him at his side. 

Sorry, he’s not SOLDIER anymore? 

Or sorry that he didn’t see earlier, how deranged Sephiroth had become. He had all the answers and went looking for them with Sephiroth. He should have guessed that some kind of deterioration would happen to Sephiroth too. Even if it was his mind instead of his body. 

“Sorry, huh?” Angeal’s JENOVA wing spreads out, shades Zack from the sun. It’s not hot, he doesn’t need the shade. Feels entirely too close to a hug though and Zack has to blink back the stinging in his eyes. 

“Yeah….”

Angeal sighs, “I’m not sure about this,” he reaches over and knocks his knuckles on Zack’s head, “where’s this mellow attitude coming from?”

Mellow? He has, he supposes, lost a bit of his need to just explode into chaotic energy more often than not. He wonders if it’s Cloud’s influence. 

Or if it’s just all the stress and fear finally winning out. 

“You don’t need to be sorry, Zack.” That’s Angeal’s mentor voice, when he’s secretly proud and happy with him, but has to contain it, “You’re doing just fine.”

How can he say that? Angeal lived for SOLDIER, always connected everything back to it. The honor in fighting and being able to control the power that is gifted through the program. 

There’s no honor in it now. How can Angeal be proud of him then?

“But...Sephiroth and I-I’m not,” he falls quiet, it’s harder to admit to Angeal, more than it had been to admit it to himself, “I’m not a SOLDIER anymore.”

Not really. 

“What, you think I want the world to become like me? Like Genesis? SOLDIER was there to protect the world. We ended up harming it.”

Mutated and dead. He’s still not a monster. Zack doesn’t know how to make him see it. Out of all three of them, Angeal was the only sane one left. It’s not the same. JENOVA...it’s in all of them, all SOLDIERS. But Angeal held on to his sanity and Cloud….

His beautiful Cloud, he’s suffering and tired, but he’s not succumbing like Sephiroth, like Genesis. 

“You didn’t become a monster,” he says instead. Just can’t let it go. 

“Maybe not...after everything,” surprising, to hear it from him, “but I still wasn’t able to stop it.”

Stop the degeneration. A luck of the draw then, that Zack’s somehow becoming immune, able to overpower JENOVA. And that Cloud doesn’t fall victim to it, even without Zack’s DNA. Aerith’s timelines prove it, since he dies so often. 

Just a mindset then? How can that be it? A strong spirit, the power of Gaia’s soul. 

He feels the stars shift and the dust of them moving in his veins. Something is different. 

Angeal stands and gives Zack a soft smile he’s only seen when Angeal thinks Zack isn’t looking. He’s holding his hand out, shadowing the sun from him again, his wing stretching out. 

“Come on, it’s time,” he says, voice steady, but subtle lines of sadness on his face. 

Zack doesn’t want him to leave. He misses him and seeing him just brings back the stinging of his death. He swallows the knot in his throat, breathes in with staggering inhales. It’s a little hard to breathe. 

“Yeah, alright,” he grins big up at him. Even if it’s the last time, it’s good to see him again. 

Zack takes his hand, lets Angeal yank him up. Pulls him through the aches in his chest and his side. All the way through the weird foggy darkness when he’s coming out of sleep.

Wakes easy, with a small groan and a heavy weight on his waist. Only takes a moment to focus and he looks up.

Right into Seprioth’s JENOVA eyes. 

His lungs contract, heart starts racing, he breaks out in a sweat, and rage fills his whole body. Sephiroth’s hands are going for his neck, weight settled over his body. Those eyes, cold and flat. Like he never even knew who Zack was. There’s still a sting there, so different from the Sephiroth he knew. 

But it’s buried under all his rage. Doesn’t really register anymore.

It’s not safe. Wherever he is, Nibelheim. He’s in Nibelheim.

With an enraged growl, Zack shifts his hips, throws off Sephrioth’s weight and he slips over the edge of the bed.

A bed; barely registers in his mind, he wasn’t in a bed before. 

Quickly, with over-powered strength and his rage blistering all throughout his body, Zack grabs Sephiroth around his throat. He’s got no weapon, can’t find his buster. Where is it? He needs to cut Sephiroth down.

All he has is his hands. Tightens his grip around Sephrioth’s neck and knees him hard in the stomach. Good enough to stun and shove him back against a wall. Those eyes, he can’t look away from them. So alien and wrong and still, even as he’s fucking squeezing around his neck and shoving him so hard, the back of his head connects with the wall. 

Even still, those JENOVA eyes stare unwavering, cold, wrong, piercing Zack like he’s targeted him. 

He’s got to stop those eyes. Panic is flooding his system, he can’t breathe in enough air to calm his racing heart. He has to take out Sephiroth.

Squeezes hard, pushes him with his elbows as he pulls in the little mana left to his muscle. 

He can’t see past the rage in him.

The desperation.

It’s not safe.

Not with Sephiroth.

He has to-

“Zack! Zack, stop!” 

Aerith? No, she needs to get away. Run, Sephiroth is here. He chances a glance at her. It’s jarring. He’s not in Nibelheim. He’s in a medical room? Aerith’s running at him, looking vulnerable and soft in her summer dress, her hair down and flowing out behind her as she rushes to him.

“Aerith, run, get outta here,” Zack can barely manage words passed his heaving chest and growing distress. 

“Zack, stop!” She’s nearly crying, her own panic gut-wrenching to see building more intensely across her face.

Stop? Is she crazy, it’s fucking Sephi-

He turns his attention back…..no....

No

_ No. _

JENOVA eyes...they’re….they’re not there. It’s not JENOVA eyes…

Zack’s whole body freezes, all his rage leaves him. Starts to shake as the disbelief sets in.

The prettiest blue eyes stare up at him, squinting and wincing and filling with painful tears. 

Cloud’s eyes. 

A whole different kind of terror washes over him, fills his whole body with dread, and a cold numbness he’s never felt. He yanks his hands away from Cloud’s throat, shaking, he can’t stop shaking.

No….no, it was  _ Sephiroth _ . He was...he was attacking Sephiroth. How did Cloud get there instead? 

He can’t breathe, everything’s going a bit dark. Dizzy. Zack stumbles back on the cold tile floor. Back another step, stuck in his mind. Stuck in the nightmare he’s woken up to.

Aerith’s rushing in front of him, catching Cloud’s body as best she can, as he sinks down onto the floor. She goes with him. Zack can hear her calling Cloud’s name, far away, foggy and quiet.

There’s blood on the wall. 

Cloud’s blood. Dark and smeared down in streaks. 

From Zack shoving him so hard, his head cracked. 

“No…”

He attacked Cloud. He wanted to...

He tried to  _ kill _ Cloud. 

All the sound leaves, takes his air with it. The room gets blurry. Thinks someone is behind him. Stumbles into them and feels warm, calloused hands grip at his arms. 

They take him back more, towards a bed again. 

Zack can’t breathe. It’s too hard to make his lungs work. Stinging in his eyes.

He’d….

Cloud….

***

She’s only left for a few minutes. Went to drop her jacket off at hers and Tifa’s room. To take an ether too. She’d used up the few that Kunsel had brought to the medical wing. Snagged some tea bags too. Tifa magically always has on her. Heavy with caffeine. She needs it. It’s late and her turn to watch over their SOLDIERS is not even halfway over. 

Aerith has to admit too, she wouldn’t be able to sleep. After the horror in Nibelheim. JENOVA growing uncontrolled all over. The landscape was nearly unrecognizable. She just keeps getting echoes of timeline memories, when nearly all of Gaia is like that. She’s impressed. That her other-self had managed to survive in it. She’s not sure she can. 

She’d been so sure that Nibelheim would have triggered an important memory. Unlocked it, wherever it is in her mind. It made sense to her, being the place of her anchor’s point of respawning.

Mmmm, that’s probably not the right word for it. Too alien. She can’t really see Cloud respawning anything. 

She laughs to herself, turns the corner hallway and back into the medical wing.

At least...Red had mentioned, out in all the chaos, that there were other ways to find her answers. She hears the itch, Cosmo Canyon. He’ll want to take her there, help her find what she’s looking for. She knows, back before, in the first timeline. She didn’t have the advantage of knowing she's a Cetra then. 

Had to learn it under the open night sky and the orange rocky walls of the canyon. Maybe...there is something there. She thought she’d held all that information already. But maybe something is different now.

Everything else certainly is. 

The lights flicker back on as she walks in, motion censored. Covers everything in a weird bright-fake light color. Sterile. 

She jumps, not expecting to see Cloud awake. 

“Oh-shit, Cloud,” she laughs through her curse, airy and startled.

He doesn’t react to her. He’s just….standing at the foot of Zack’s bed, watching him. Aerith frowns.

It’s a little weird but, Cloud’s not exactly the normal behavior type. It’s actually kind of sweet. Does he want to lay with Zack? She hides her smile and goes to the sink on the far side, grabbing a small glass that’s in the cupboards and fills it with the hottest water she can get from the faucet, for her tea. 

They are not too bad off. Their injuries are not as bad as they looked. Even though Zack...Aerith puffs at her hair in her face. Zack had worried her. She’d never seen so much blood on the outside of a person. Lucky that Kunsel had a phoenix down still. She frowns, they need to stock up. She hopes Cid is taking them somewhere bigger than Kalm was. 

Aerith rips open her teabags outer wrapping and dunks the bag in the water. She yawns as she waits. Turns back to check on Cloud, might as well occupy her tired mind while her caffeine takes forever to steep. 

Cloud’s crawling over Zack. 

“Uh,” Aerith takes a step and reaches out like she can touch Cloud, “he’s probably not healed enough, Cloud,” she says.

Poor Cloud. Just wants to be close to Zack. Neither of their advanced healing has kicked in, so she should probably get Cloud to sleep in his own-

She stops suddenly, fear crawling up her back. She can’t stop the gasp in her throat.

It’s not Cloud...that’s _ not Cloud. _

His whole body jerks hard, just once, knocks his head at a weird angle and he hunches shallowly over Zack.

His eyes…..they are not his eyes.

He’s looking at her with slitted sea-green JENOVA eyes. Laughs raspy and airy and wrong-toned. It’s not his voice either.

Sephiroth.

Oh no, his arm, JENOVA’s gotten in him,  _ really _ in him. She’d thought...when Tifa said his left arm looked to have injection wounds in them. She thought maybe it was just an odd wound, hoped...

Cloud’s body jerks again, slower-moving, probably from the shoddy connection Sephiroth has over him. She’s sure it’s not strong. Just got in from Cloud’s pain and in his moment of panic and helplessness. Gaia had told her, he’s ready, he’s strong. Able to push JENOVA from himself. 

Stimuli. In Hojo’s notes. Pain...is a JENOVA control stimuli. 

He just needs some help. 

Her fear turns to anger. 

“Get out of him,” she says into the stillness and the silence. 

It pauses Sephrioth’s control over Cloud, his hands stilling before they reach Zack’s neck. Another wrong-angled jerk. Is Cloud fighting him?

Another quiet airy laugh. It’s more disturbing than the JENOVA growth. So arrogant and sure, and  _ pleased _ . Delighted that he’s managed to take over Cloud’s mind. Aerith takes a few more steps, watches Sephrioth’s JENOVA eyes in Cloud’s face track her movements.

“You son of a bitch,” she’s not sure yet, how to break Sephrioth’s connection without hurting Cloud. Takes a few more cautious steps. At least, she can distract him from hurting Zack.

Oh, that laugh is different this time. Unhinged. The Sephiroth she knows in the lifestream. He’s nervous? Why...she clearly has no weapon, is off guard. She doesn’t even have any materia on her. Except for her broken HOLY. 

“Let him go,” she says. Just gets another twitch in response and Cloud’s hands are reaching for Zack’s neck. Barely touches his bare skin and his whole body jerks again, a wince overcoming his expression. 

From touching Zack’s skin? JENOVA had been unable to get close to Zack, down in Nibelheim, at the end there. That hasn’t always been the case, so why, why sometimes? 

She’s close enough to the medical supply cabinet, she could try for a scalpel at least. Not that she’s really sure she can take on Cloud’s body. He may be injured and slowed from Sephiroth’s control, but he’s still mako-enhanced. 

Cloud’s body curls in on itself, keeps twitching and his breathing gets labored. He’s fighting Sephiroth, he has to be. Raspy, creaky inhales and she sees his eyes flash at her. Cloud’s normal blue. For just a second before the JENOVA slit returns.

And then Zack wakes up. 

His rage and complete blindness to anything but is shocking. Confuses her and only after he’s near rabid and shoving Cloud into a wall does she realize what’s going on. 

“Zack,” she calls, dropping the scalpel and rushing towards them. She can see, it’s Cloud’s blue eyes widening in pain and fear, “Zack! Stop!” 

Cloud’s eyes flicker to slit once more, just for a second. And then Zack slams him so hard into the wall again, his head cracks.

It echoes around the room.

“Help,” she shouts, hoping someone down the hall can hear her, “I need help in here.”

Zack’s choking Cloud, too roughly.

“Zack!”

He’s shouting at her to run, seems shocked when he glances at her. Like he wasn’t aware of his surroundings. She’s gotta get him to let go of Cloud,  _ now _ . He’s barely breathing.

All at once, Zack seems to come back to himself, lets go of Cloud with a broken sound. Kunsel rushes in the doorway, slips up to Aerith’s side.

“What’s going, are you okay?” He asks her.

“Grab Zack,” She goes for Cloud. He’s slumping weakly against the wall, sliding down and leaving a rather horrifying blood streak from his head. 

It’s okay, right. She thinks, can’t be that bad. Head wounds bleed a lot. She catches him, sinks down to her knees with Cloud cradled against her shoulder. She hears Zack losing his shit on her left. Kunsel’s deeper tenor trying to calm him. 

She’s not too worried about Zack right now.

Cloud’s trembling against her shoulder. The back of his head is all bloody, matting his blond hair down in red sticky liquid and trickling down his neck. She’s too far to grab for a towel or a bandage, so she presses her hand to the wound and tries not to gag at the warm blood still gushing out.

Lucky her Kunsel’s kneeling right next to them only seconds after she starts applying pressure.

“Here,” he shifts Cloud to only half lean on her, more open so Kunsel can get that towel over his head wound. 

“Thanks,” she’s still trying to catch her breath. 

Cloud’s whimpering under their touches, painful and raw sounding. Zack must have damaged his vocal cords, sounds so rough. The violent twitching in his left-hand doesn’t go unnoticed. 

“What the fuck happened?” Kunsel asks, shifting a bit to get a better grip on Cloud’s head. It’s  _ a lot _ of blood. 

She ignores him, “His healing is not kicking in,” 

“No, it is,” Kunsel says, shifting yet again to take all of Cloud’s weight. He’s nearly back to unconsciousness. Aerith huffs at him, steps up, and back to get out of Kunsel’s way as he drags Cloud up and back to the medical med. 

“Still seems to be bleeding,” she says, stares at the darkening indents of Zack’s hands on his neck.

Kunsel is gentle, lays him down slowly, and checks his eyes before laying the towel down against the pillow and slipping Cloud’s head down to sink into the softness. 

“No, it’s nearly stopped. He’d be dead, without that healing.”

He doesn’t look like he is getting better, but she can’t really argue with a SOLDIER about their own abilities. At least his breathing isn’t as wheezing and the color is coming back in his skin. Cloud lays pretty still on the bed, curled on his side, and staring at Zack. 

He’s out, she’s not sure how with her attention on Cloud.

“I knocked him out with SLEEP,” Kunsel says, still inspecting the back of Cloud’s head, “I’ve only seen him like that once before….” Out of control, panic breaking him down. 

She didn’t even know Kunsel could do that spell. Or that he even had any materia on him. On his belt, it glitters at her in the too white lights, small and hidden. 

“Before?” she echos, falling into a weird unfocused fog. Surreal and hard to believe that Zack had nearly choked Cloud out. 

“After Wutai, there was a mission, at the end of the war. It didn’t end well.”

She never knew. Zack hides it well, but maybe she should have guessed. Being hyper-advanced doesn’t protect the mind. No matter how well their healing is. She stares at the two of them and just thinks, Nibelheim feels so far away. 

Even though it can’t be dawn for a few hours still. Not even a full day. 

Zack jerks in his sleep, a distressed, painful sound coming from him. It’s too heartbreaking for her, how Cloud is reaching out for him in his own daze, arm stretching out to touch him across the space between their beds. 

In the back of her mind, she thinks they should separate Cloud and Zack, until she can work out how easy it is for Sephiroth to take control. But maybe Cloud doesn’t even know that and he’s always better...around Zack. 

Better in his shyness, better in his pain and his sorrow. She’d kept them apart so long already, for too many lifetimes. 

She can’t really bring herself to do so right now. 

Instead, she’s moving forward and nudging Kunsel back, pulling at the light medical bed to drag Cloud closer. Closing the gap enough for Cloud’s still shaking hand to wrap around Zack’s wrist. Glowy green veins blossom under his touch, swirling up and around Zack’s arm. Looking for the wounds he’s still healing from. 

It’s achingly sweet and hard for her to watch. Cloud just wants to be near him, to help him heal. 

He’s barely aware, doesn’t even glance at her, his darkened blue eyes intensely watching Zack. Still, lost in his mind too? She hopes, however deep he is within himself, he’s finding the strength to keep JENOVA and Sephiroth at bay. She knows he can, with Gaia whispering to her he’ll be alright. Even knowing that JENOVA’s managed to infect him (as much as she doesn’t want to admit that’s what’s wrong with his left arm now), Zack’s cells must still be helping him, changing him to be stronger. 

It’s in Zack’s eyes, his strength against JENOVA. Subtle, but it’s there, the stars and the universe, it’s mixing with the mako in his skin. Gaia released his soul from the lifestream. It’s trying to get back to Zack. Must have a little, from the way all the JENOVA growth repealed from him at the end there. Just overnight, a growing immunity she’s almost certain will align completely the moment Zack gets the rest of his soul back. 

It’s in that materia she needs, for HOLY. Feels the itchiness of being correct growing in her mind at the thought. Even without a memory of it, she just knows. Must be. Otherwise, Zack would be dead.

Again. And Gaia would still be hanging onto that little part of him. 

She feels tired. Sighs loudly. She wants to go be with Tifa and recharge, before she settles on how dangerous Cloud is or if she should just let this little episode slide. 

“Hey, I’ll stay, go get some rest,” Kunsel says, already pulling up a chair next to Zack, “just...I gotta keep an eye on lil’ Chocobo, right? Some JENOVA shit going on?”

She doesn’t have it in her to argue. She just nods instead and holds Kunsel’s gaze for longer than necessary. The thought crosses her mind, how unsafe is it? Leaving all three SOLDIERS alone together with JENOVA trying so hard to win. 

Turns to go see if Tifa’s awake and maybe get some sleep of her own. 

As hard as it will be. 

Getting rid of Zack’s rage and Cloud’s struggling flashing eyes. 

***

It’s safe here. Always safe in his room. From the kids in town, from Tifa’s constant nagging. It’s the only place he likes to be besides the edge of the forest at the end of town.

It used to be safe over there but now…

Now, there is JENOVA everywhere and he can’t leave. His room is the last place he’s safe from the oozing black and the stinging, raging need to have control over him. 

He misses Zack though. Aches in his chest and if he looks too long at it, he thinks he’s lost him. 

Does he still want him? After this? He’d been so mad the first time Sephiroth took control. Cloud promised, he said he won’t let him in anymore.

Somehow, Sephiroth got to him anyway. 

He misses Zack, but he thinks he’s ruined for him now. 

Better to just stay here, in the only safe space left in his mind. JENOVA can’t get him here, Sephiroth can’t find him. He’ll just...waste away in here. It’s fine.

He’s fine. 

“Cloud,” He doesn’t expect the touch to follow.

He knows both of them. Gentle and feminine, so strong and light at the same time. 

Cloud turns on his bed, glances over his shoulder and nearly cries. 

“Hi, sweetheart,” his mother. In her boring grey linen dress and messy bun. The last time he saw her, before the whole town was burning to the ground.

“Mom?” how is she here? This isn’t the lifestream, unless...is he dead? This is just Gaia’s projection for him and not his mind space?

His mom laughs, the same quiet and clear mid-tones that filled their little house. With the same kind smile that she always gave him, even when he was being a brat. He swallows down his tears. 

“Oh,” she hums sympathetically at him, reaches out with both her arms to draw his head onto her lap, “my little Thunder Cloud, it’s alright.”

It’s not. Nothing is alright. He couldn’t keep JENOVA out of him. Couldn’t save Zack from Sephiroth. Couldn’t save  _ her _ from Sephiroth. And now JENOVA is out of control and he’s failed again. 

Failed as Aerith’s anchor.

“Mom, I’m sorry, I’m sorry I didn’t save you.” 

“Don’t be silly,” she says, her slender hands still rough from housework. Still on the colder side as they slide back his hair, “you did everything you could.”

And it wasn’t enough. 

“I’m so proud of you,” this isn’t fair. She’s not supposed to be, he’s done  _ nothing. _

“Why…”

She just leans down and kisses his forehead, the same way she always did when he came home upset from being shoved away. Being bullied and left out. He can’t handle it, not when he doesn’t deserve it. 

He sits up and can’t look at her anymore. He’ll just see burns on her pretty face. 

“Cloud,” more stern, he’s missed it, “You’ve always been too hard on yourself.”

No, he hasn’t. He just hides and does what he thinks people want him to do. Because he’s scared of ending up alone. He’s tired of being alone. 

Maybe he should be though. The way he’s going. JENOVA will get the better of him eventually. 

“No she won’t,” she’s mad now. He flinches, he hates when she’s mad at him, “Cloud. You’re doing fine. She hasn’t won and she won’t.”

The whole house shakes around them. Tones of unease and wrongness reaching their ears. JENOVA, she’s inside the house, looking for him. He can see the shadows in the crack at the bottom of his door. 

He really is trapped in his room now. With JENOVA mutating on everything outside in town and now growing and living in his house. He’s only managed to keep her and Sephiroth from his mind for a while. 

Looks like he’ll end up being their puppet permanently.

“Cloud,” his mother grabs his arms, looks sternly into his eyes. They have the same eyes, but he’s always felt they were hers, “you’re not alone. You're strong and she’s not going to win.”

How, how does she know that?

How does Aerith know? If it’s never happened. If they’ve never won yet. Why this time?

A screeching outside his window makes him jump. A horrid painful screaming. 

“See, you don’t have to struggle by yourself.” His mom says. 

What does that even mean? He is alone. It’s just him here, trapped. 

He still goes to the window, gasps when he sees him. 

Zack, hacking away with his buster at JENOVA growth and grinning ear to ear. He’s covered in purple JENOVA blood and guts. Doesn’t seem to phase him at all. He slashes through a bundle close to the porch and turns. Stares right up at Cloud from the ground and waves at him, eyes bright and Cloud can’t hear him, but he’s laughing. 

“He’s a real looker, Cloud,” his mom says. She’s standing, comes over to lean on his side. He doesn’t remember her being shorter than him, “That other SOLDIER that came into town with you?”

Yeah….

“Zack,” he says. Watches him rush way too excitedly at a particularly nasty wiggling knot of JENOVA flesh. His heart flutters and irritates all the butterflies in his stomach. 

“Oh, there’s a look,” he flushes, turns from the window, and doesn’t look at his mother. He’ll just miss the knowing smile on her face too, “he's treating you right?”

Why do all the women in his life think he’s been mistreated all the time?

Somewhere, in Zack’s voice, he hears ‘but you have been’. 

He huffs. He’s not here to gush over Zack. He’s here to hide and waste away until Aerith can find that cure-all for JENOVA. 

“Nope,” his mom says, shoves at his back a bit, towards his door. Towards JENOVA, “you’re not hiding. You can do this, you’re strong.”

He’s really not. 

“Cloud,” she slips in front of him, takes his face in her hands, “you just have to let go. I know it’s hard. You’ve always known rejection.” 

Ugh, why, he even misses her embarrassing him. 

“I think that handsome young man out there is waiting for you.”

Zack….

Does he...does he still want him? 

“Sweetheart, my little Thunder Cloud,” nicknames, the two people who’ve loved him most, they like nicknames way too much, “Let go. It will be fine. You’re strong and when you need a rest, you’re not alone.”

He wants to believe her. She’s never lied to him. 

Cloud takes a shaky breath, he doesn’t want to leave her here, by herself. 

Alone. 

“I’m not, sweetie,” she smooshes his cheeks a bit, “I’m watching out for you. Now, be my strong boy and go help that cutie outside. I think it’s time we get our town back.” 

He pushes forward into her arms and buries his face into her hair, squeezes her tight. He never hugged her enough. Was too much of a brat and by the time he worked his selfishness out, she was dead. 

“I miss you.” 

“I’m still here,” she says, ruffles his hair and pulls away, “whenever you need me. You just have to come home. Stop hanging around in those woods all day.”

He laughs, more watery than he’ll admit. He does tend to stick to the treeline. 

With a soft pat and her eyes glinting at him with encouragement, he opens his bedroom door.

The horror outside lurking in the rest of his house is almost as bad as the real overrun Nibelheim. JENOVA is everywhere, dripping her black ooze and the stench, it wafts up from the ground floor. It’s calling to him, keeps whispering ‘hello puppet’ in his ears. 

“One more thing,” His mother says, tips his fusion sword at him. Where’d that come from?

“Thanks, mom.” 

“You bring that cutie here sometime, I wanna meet the man makin’ you smile that softly.”

Oh god, he can just defeat JENOVA with all his embarrassment. It’s as good as any energy motivator. He needs something to focus on, other than his fear. He can’t let her get control of him again. Can’t let Sephiroth in. 

The fusion sword feels lighter here, in his head, more powerful, like it’s carrying his soul in its materia slots. Slicing through all the JENOVA flesh is easy. A puzzle connecting together and shifting the stars as he hacks away and kills off more and more. The weird slimy pink-grey flesh shrivels and dissolves into dust. Fades from the wooden floor.

From the stairs. 

With every cut and every swing, JENOVA evaporates into nothing. Leaving his house clean and warm. Fits whatever has been missing from him nice and snug. There’s still screeching going on outside. When he opens the front door, the whole area in front of his porch is clean and dusty, green drained from the reactor. Normal. 

Zack’s fucking leaning against his buster sword, stuck it good in the ground as he waits. Still covered in JENOVA bits and blood. Smiling like he just made 1st class all over again. 

“Well, well, if it isn’t the most beautiful pair of eyes I’ve ever seen.”

There’s that dumb soft smile on his face his mom mentioned. Feels it stick and fight away his bashfulness. He decides not to roll his eyes. Just slips his fusion sword onto his back and walks down the two rickety steps towards Zack. 

He meets him with open arms and an even more blinding smile. Cloud should not find him so attractive, covered in fiend and alien liquid, but he wants nothing more than to be embraced by him. Keeps walking right into his arms and hooks his chin on his shoulder. Nice of Zack, to stay slouched a bit against his sword so Cloud’s at a more level height with him. 

“Damn, you feel good, I’ve been waiting a while for you.” Zack’s laugh is warm and chases away the rest of the fear sitting in his stomach. 

Replaces it with those stupid fucking butterflies he’ll never get rid of. 

“You have?” 

“Yeah, cleared out that forest you love so much.”

Cloud looks to his left, sees the clean line of normal trees, the leaves softly moving in the wind. Not a single JENOVA infection in sight. How’d Zack do that….

He pulls back, looks into Zack’s eyes. 

They’re different. Completely a different color, deeper blue like his own, and the night sky is so mingled in the color, it might as well be a clean reflection. It’s Zack, there’s no doubt, the bulk of his body and the bright flicker of joy all across his face. 

But some things are just a bit different, like his eyes. His hair is all falling in his face, a bit shorter. The scar on his jaw, it’s not as deep, healed some. 

Wait...how’s Zack even here? Cloud’s blocked out his connection, cutting off everything, in case Sephiroth can find a way in. Zack shouldn’t be here.

“How are-how…”

“How am I here?” Zack laughs at him, tilts his head leans in, “I’m always with you.”

He touches Cloud’s chest, presses a little, like he’s trying to touch his heart inside his ribcage.

“Always...with me?”

“Ye-p,” he pops the p at him, still smiling bright, ‘I’m your JENOVA shield, remember?”

His cells...Zack’s DNA. There had been a lot of his blood all over him. An extra boost? 

Cloud frowns. Manifested in his own body, appearing as Zack? What does that mean? 

So...he really is alone then.

“Nuh, I don’t think so, Beautiful,” Certainly does seem like it’s Zack-not Zack, “You’re not alone.”

Everyone keeps telling him that. His mother...is she...can he see her, in his house, because she’s a part of him too? Making him stronger, her ghost in her DNA that’s his? 

Cloud reaches out, wipes away some of the purple blood from Zack’s cheek. His skin is...paler than normal. Closer to Cloud’s shade. Weird. Like his eye color, closer to Cloud’s own features. 

“What’s weird? You know the drill, I got freaky-ass JENOVA immune cells and I’m sharing ‘em with you Cloudy-Sky.”

Yeah...he’s certainly done that. He flushes, looks over Zack’s shoulder at Mt. Nibel, it is still covered in JENOVA infection. He doesn’t really get this still. 

“How bout, you open up that link of ours, you know to my actual brain and we beat the shit out of this bitch. Get you your headspace back.”

No...no, no he can’t do that. What if Sephiroth gets back in? He’ll just have to make do, with himself and this weird Zack’s DNA-projected as real Zack...thing. 

“Hey, I’m still Zack, just like...a tiny part of me. Would be nice if the rest of me could come along for the ride though”

“No, you can’t keep bailing me out.”

Zack’s...cells or Zack, whatever, huffs at him, rolls his eyes, and knocks their heads together.

“Bailing you out, what the hell is wrong with you? Don’t you get it?”

Get what, how is Zack not tired of saving him?

“I love you.”

It’s always a shock to hear it. 

“I’ll ‘bail’ you out as much as I want. Would you let me fight alone?”

“No,” Cloud says too loudly. Some of the JENOVA flesh shutters in their direction. It wants him, just Cloud’s voice is enough to aggravate it. 

“So, how come I have to let you suffer by yourself?”

He doesn’t know….

“I…”

“Cloud.”

“I don’t know.” 

Gets a smirk and a gross kiss with JENOVA guts falling on him.

“Well then, how bout this. You just let go of all that weird self-deprecating thoughts running around in your pretty head and just get used to me being here.”

His heart thumps. Looks into the constellations shifting around in Zack’s eyes.

“Unless you don’t want me around.”

“No,” too loud again, he’s too desperate for Zack, “I want you around….all the time.”

“Well you got it pretty eyes, I’m literally mutating with your DNA, surprise, you’re stuck with me.”

Cloud laughs, still kind of weirded out. In the long run, all this means he’s just talking to himself really. If he’s absorbing Zack’s DNA into his own. 

“Now, let's beat this bitch back to where she came from and get that sweet connection between us going again. I miss you.”

Weird...so weird. 

But they do. It’s easy...it’s never been this easy, to fight her off. The wrong toned moans still grates his teeth and he hears her screaming at him to obey but, with Zack right at his side, it’s easy to ignore.

They cut the infection back, all the way passed the ShinRa mansion, and up the stairs to the reactor. The mountain looms over them, snowy storm clouds threatening them. It’s colder at the entrance to the reactor and JENOVA is louder than ever. They manage to cut her back, all the way to the back door, where she used to live. Where Sephrioth ripped off her head and started dragging her around Gaia. 

“It’s blocked,” Cloud says. The door, he can see in the small round window, there’s a shadowed figure, silvery hair, cradling JENOVA’s strangely human-like half body. 

Zack sighs, leans against the door, “need a key?” The flesh of JENOVA inside the room shutters at Zack’s voice. She’s-It’s scared of him. 

“One I don’t have.”

Must be...the infection in his arm. He knows it’s not healing. Knows it'll linger with him until they get Aerith’s HOLY working again. The key then, the key is the cure-all for JENOVA. He’ll never rid it’s infection on his own, even with Zack’s help. He can keep it here though, in the backroom of the reactor, deep in Mt. Nibel. Keep JENOVA contained.

His mother was right. He’s...stronger than he thinks. 

“Yeah you are, hot stuff,” Zack says, pushes Cloud back against the metal door and kisses him fast and rough.

Still all gross and covered in alien shit. At least it’s drying out a little. 

Probably shouldn’t be making out with Zack-cell manifestation against the door block of an alien infection that’s really in his arm either. He sighs against Zack’s lips.

This is just so weird. 

“Hey, you feel safe to wake up now? I think my real self is freaking out back in the conscious realm.”

Zack...oh shit.  _ Zack _ , he’d freaked on Cloud. Well, on Sephiroth, but he must be panicking. Cautiously, just a tiny bit, he loosens the tight grip he has on their connection.

Feels Zack’s panic shoving in instantly. He’s so worried that Cloud...hates him now? His stomach drops. 

No...it’s okay.

“Zack, it’s okay.” He’s not mad, it’s okay. It wasn’t him he attacked. It was Sephiroth. 

“Yeah, okay, _ I  _ know _.  _ Gotta wake up and tell me that though.”

Maybe he  _ should  _ just let their mind link open again, this is not getting any more normal, talking to Zack about….Zack.

“Yeah, do that beautiful, I’ll stay here and guard these two psychos,” Zack bangs on the door, “I see you in there, Sephy! Don’t flash those freaky-kitty eyes at me.”

Zack’s DNA is a little crazy, more SOLDIER insane than Zack really is. Cloud still loves him anyway, no matter how much of him it is. 

“Thanks, Zack.”

“Hey,” he leans in for another quick kiss, “it’s you and me, Cloudy-Sky. Now go help me out, yeah? I need you.” 

Cloud can do that. He can be there for Zack. 

Always. 

***

“Aerith,”

She doesn’t really want to answer. She’s tired and Tifa’s nice and warm.

“Just a moment, child.”

Oh, it’s not someone they know. It’s Gaia. Alright, if it’ll help.

She’s surrounded by flowers when she opens her eyes. Sits up in her summer dress and no shoes on. A field of yellow for as far as she can see. A purple mountain range in the far distance and a light summery breeze tickles her face with her hair. 

Her mother, her birth mother stands before her. Glowy with a light minty green. It’s not really her though, Gaia likes to show up as people she knows. Maybe at one time, the soul that comes to speak to Aerith, once it was her mother, but it’s been too long now. Any trace of her has stayed in the lifestream. 

“Hello, Aerith,” Gaia’s voice is always just a tad spacey, like it takes her a while to remember to actually speak and not throw her thoughts around in the lifestream. Even though Aerith can hear them, it’s easier, when she comes to her in dreams. 

More clarity. 

“I think you’ve figured this out by now,” Gaia turns her mother’s body to the west, looking swiftly at the mountain range far in the distance, “That soul I borrowed, it’s finished its job.”

Zack’s. She thought so, felt it pull in, and rush away from her all in a second.

“Know where it went?” It’s worth a shot, but Gaia isn’t very detailed oriented, and tends to forget things that rush past her too quickly. All-knowing, but it’s all jumbled in the lifestream and takes ages for her to find. 

“I’m sorry, no. But it worked, I’m able to shield the lifestream now,”

From Sephiroth and JENOVA?

“Just him.”

Only Sephiroth then. Cleanse his cells from the stream, the parts of him that’s human anyway.

“And what does that do?” Something, Aerith hopes, it has to do something. They need help, not just rammed up powers and tricks. Real direction. 

“It gives you time.”

Great...it’s better than nothing.

“Aerith, a suggestion?”

She sighs, stands and brushes at the skirt of her dress, it’s covered in pollen, “can’t hurt, whatcha got for me?”

“I sense a block in your PARALLEL spell.”

A block, “from what?”

“Self-doubt.”

Oh no...Cloud. Her information isn’t getting through to her fast enough, because her anchor is stressed? She’s not sure she should tell Cloud that, it’ll just stress him more. 

“A calming environment then?” Gaia says, she twists again with the wind, lifts her hands to shield some flower petals floating by. It’s still so weird, to see that spacy expression on her mother’s face. 

“Calming,” Aerith repeats, barely holding in her grunt of annoyance. Half answers and far off stares. For the planet’s lifeforce, Gaia’s not very concerned over the growing threat of JENOVA. 

“Oh,” Gaia tilts her head, listening to something in the breeze, “he’s found it.”

“Found what?”

“Don’t worry, my dear, your anchor is more set.”

What, Cloud is set? Set for what? From what? Aerith shakes her head, trying to rid the confusion. Gaia doesn’t always choose the best word choice either, she could mean anything but what she says. 

Aerith was just trying to get some shut-eye, “What about my HOLY materia, you can’t remember where you sent it?” She tries again.

“It’s with that soul….” 

And there she goes, swiftly trails after a few sparrows chattering at each other. Moves so smoothing in her mother’s body, it seems she’s almost floating. 

With Zack’s soul? She can’t mean Zack has her missing materia component. So...Zack’s soul is, in the materia she needs?

What does that mean for Zack? She hopes nothing harmful. Cloud couldn’t bear it this time. After losing Zack so much, so often. 

This time, it would break him. 

“Ugh,” she rubs at her face, falls back down into the flowers and lays staring up at the cloudless sky. 

She feels just a tiny bit lighter. Better than nothing….

Time. They’ve been given time. It’s more relieving now that she thinks on it, stares at the endless blue. She nearly panicked, with JENOVA growing that quickly, but Gaia has managed to throw Sephiroth off whatever trail they are both heading towards. Then maybe she doesn’t need to worry as much.

The final timeline. It echoes in her head. When she closes her eyes, here in the meadows just at the edge of the lifestream, she can see. 

“Hey, flower girl.”

She jumps, her eyes fly wide open, looks up at Cloud, haloed in the blue sky.

“Cloud,” she sits up, leans towards him as he takes a step back. 

It’s not Cloud-not her timeline Cloud. No, this one, he’s older. Got tiny eye crinkles starting to form and an air around him like a warm blanket on a snowy night. He’s...all glowy, like Gaia. 

“Saw you fall, thought I’d make sure you’re okay.”

She rolls her eyes, smiling despite his stupid little smirk, “It’s called laying down, Cloud. I did it on purpose.”

He laughs for her. Quiet and more reserved than her timeline Cloud. Seems almost impossible, her Cloud’s still so shy half the time. 

Oh...he’s the first one. The one that ran all over Gaia with her, for years and years, searching for the PARALLEL materia. 

Cloud, the one that chose to be her anchor. Her protector. She finds her eyes misting.

“Hey, come on, I don’t know what to do with tears,” he tells her, still reaches out and wipes one away with his thumb. 

“I’m so sorry, Cloud. I never should have asked you.”

He frowns, but patience and understanding still shines at her from his eyes.

“I’d do it again,” Of course he would, “Don’t worry, I’m not in pain.”

But he is….over and over and it’s all her fault. 

“I wouldn’t ask you again.”

He frowns even more and in a surprising move, steps close and pulls her in for a hug. He’s taller...this Cloud. Not by much, but she can hide her face better in his shoulder. He smells minty, like mako and lifestream. 

“Then I’d do it without your permission.”

She laughs, how would he know about the materia? Silly...Cloud’s so stubbornly loyal sometimes. 

His arms tighten around her and he leans down to talk softly by her ear like he’s about to share the most important secret in the universe.

“Thank you,” he says, sounds a little sad, “for giving him to me.”

Zack.

“Can you see him?” In her timeline? If he’s right here, then…

“Sometimes,” Cloud says, pulls away from her, and glances at the mountain range behind her shoulder, “if I can get close enough to the edge of the lifestream.”

“Is he….is he with you, in your time?” In his afterlife, his timeline’s lifestream. 

He goes all sad and she wonders when she’ll stop upsetting him.

“No, his soul has been returned to Gaia. Too long without a connection to the surface.”

“I’m sorry…”

He shakes his head, breathes in the air slowly, and rids his sadness to the wind.

“Don’t be. I’ll be there soon too. Just came to take one last look at him, he looks good.” 

He waits in the silence for a while before, “...I can’t believe he loves me that much…”

He doesn’t say it sadly, just final. Like he’s been waiting for centuries and universes for Zack to smile at her Cloud the way he does. To kiss him so desperately. Get all the tender looks Zack has to offer. Like it’s the last thought in his head for all time and he just can’t let it go.

Until now. 

When he finally gets Zack, somewhere. 

He has been waiting then.

“He really does,” she says. Doesn’t know what else to say besides the obvious. 

She gets another little laugh from him, “It’s going to be okay, Aerith.”

How does he know? They went through horrors together and still, after all the timelines he can see into and cross, after living his own nightmare. How is he still so certain?

“A little birdy tell you that?” She goes for lightheartedness anyway. Gets yet another smile. Lucky her. 

“Nah, I’ve seen it.”

She gasps, how? The timestreams, are they shoving all together? She can’t even see past their next task. 

“Sorry, It’s hard to explain. You’ll just have to trust me.”

That, she can do. Trust him more than she trusts Gaia. A lot more. 

Cloud fades some, goes more transparent, and glowy green. He reaches out to tug on one of her curls. Such a Zack thing to do. Makes her smile. He’s in Cloud in ways he’ll never understand. 

“Look for the green,” he says before he’s just a mass of stardust and mako orbs, flowing back to Gaia. 

With him, she goes back to her own consciousness. Wakes suddenly, pressed in tight against Tifa. 

It’s extra quiet and warm. The sunlight peeking in through the high, long window against their far wall. It’s finally past sunrise. She hopes the boys are doing okay. She reaches up and wipes at the tears still on her cheeks.

“Look for the green....” she mumbles into Tifa’s hair. Says it over and over in her head. 

***

Kunsel won’t leave them alone. Not for longer than a few minutes and it’s just pushing Zack’s guilt harder in his head. 

He’d fucking almost killed him. Cloud.  _ His Cloud. _

He knows, he knows Sephiroth can do this shit to Cloud, and yet, he just panicked. Couldn’t remember where he was and just acted on his rage. He’s afraid...he’ll lose Cloud now. How will he be able to look at him? Zack feels like he doesn’t deserve Cloud’s forgiveness, but he desperately craves it. 

He’s sitting at his side in a shitty chair, holding his left hand between both of his. Rubs his thumb over the tight skin in between his forefinger and his thumb. Every time there’s a twitch in his palm, in his forearm, in his shoulder. 

Every once and awhile, their healing trick will kick on, spin around Cloud’s arm fast, trying to heal what is under the messily wrapped bandage. Glows extra bright and then fades. Seems to think it’s done its healing job, only to reactivate all over again. 

Hours have gone by since Zack woke again, his chest and side newly tender- stitched together flesh. Cloud’s outstretched arm reaching for him, healing him while he slept.

After Zack had crushed his skull into the wall and nearly choked him to death. 

“Fuck,” he leans his forehead down on top of their hands and tries to breathe right. 

Cloud’s hand twitches under his, but shifts and tangles their fingers together.

“Zack,” He sighs his name, so softly and filled with such relief Zack can’t believe it. Why...why would he feel like that around him. 

Zack can still see his hand marks in the fading bruises on his neck. Hard to look away from them when he sits up, pulls his hands from Cloud’s. 

He probably shouldn’t touch him. 

Cloud actually whines at him, eyes foggy with sleep and pouts. He fucking pouts at Zack.

No, no, no Zack doesn’t understand. How can Cloud just be totally fine with him? 

“No, come here,” Cloud slurs at him, reaches out like nothing’s wrong.

Like Zack didn’t squeeze his neck so hard his voice is still raspy. It’s maddening. His heart and his body want Cloud’s touch so badly, but he can’t turn off his brain. Loops around in his head and just starts mixing it with Wutai memories and running from ShinRa. 

Cloud’s wincing away sitting forward and coming to him. Zack should...move. Get away from him, but he’s breathing heavy and he wants nothing more than to be touching Cloud. 

“Fucking, get over here,” Cloud snaps. It’s lackluster, but cuts right through the looping in his head. 

Autopilot, following a demand, he goes to Cloud. Slips his arms around his waist and shoves his face into the bunched up medical gown on his shoulder. Feels his whole body sigh at Zack’s touch and his weight settling between his legs, against him. 

Cloud must sense his urge to pull away, thinking it's too much contact so soon. Traps Zack with his arms around his shoulders and digs a hand into his hair. Curls a tiny bit and traps him between his knees.

“Zack,” he says, still slurring a bit. He must have been deep in his mind, still coming out of it, “I found it, don’t worry anymore.”

“Found what?” the first thing he says to him, unsure. But Cloud’s holding onto him tightly, playing with his hair and sounds so happy.

“The way to keep him outta me, from getting in my head.”

Sephiroth…

How…

Zack can’t stop looking at the bruising on his skin. Almost faded now, even in the short time of Cloud waking. Takes him a moment to register the green glowy veins crawling all over Cloud. Watch as they take away the last of his fingerprints in Cloud’s fair skin.

It breaks him. He surges back and cups Cloud’s jaw in his palms, presses his forehead against him, and can’t look at him. Needs to be away, but needs to be closer. 

If fucking Kunsel wasn’t awkwardly sitting across the room he’d need to get inside Cloud. 

“Zack,” more than once, Cloud’s called him. So gently, treats him as if he’s wounded. 

It pulls all the fight out of him, sighs out too brokenly, and finally opens his eyes to look down at Cloud. He’s fucking all soft expression and patience eyes. What is this, Cloud, Cloud doesn’t do this. He doesn’t need to fix this, Zack does. A little flicker of worry as Zack’s silence lingers on.

“A-are you mad, at me?” Cloud asks, so small and brows frowning down.

Mad at him.

Zack...mad at  _ him _ ? 

“Why would I be mad at you?” Tumbles out of his mouth.

“For not stopping Spehrioth from controlling me sooner.”

Stupid. He’s so stupid. 

And maybe, Zack is too. 

He surges down, remembers to ease on the aggression just as his lips press against Cloud’s. He gets a tongue slipping into his mouth before he can even try to open up Cloud’s lips. Get’s all the hard pressure from Cloud and it’s spinning Zack’s head. He...he still wants him? He’s not mad, how can he not be a little mad? 

Cloud nips at his bottom lip, entangles both his hands into his hair, and then the wall Zack hasn’t even tried to touch just shatters. 

Their mind connection zaps apart, shakes deep in Zack’s chest and the warm crackling of a fire comes roaring into his ears. So fast and loud before dropping into a warm, safe hum. Cloud’s letting him back in. More than before.

More than he ever has. The fire cracks and the static fades completely, a weird echoing silence and then. 

Zack can hear it. Cloud’s heartbeat, thuds fast, just the same as his. Can hear the sharp need in Cloud’s own mind, his determined set to...to help Zack.

Their link has never done this, thrown Zack so far into Cloud’s mind he’s nearly feeling every touch, hearing every thought as his own, clear and soft and somehow, not invasive at all. Just feels right. Easy, as natural as breathing. 

If Zack unfocuses on it, it just lingers in the back of his mind, waiting for him to give it attention again. Like a memory, one that makes his stomach drop with excitement and calms him all at the same time. 

Cloud’s not even a little mad. Unfairly understands Zack, is still reaching for him through their link, with his lips, holding him close and nearly suffocating him with tenderness and-

“I love you,” Cloud mutters against his lips, gasping in for some air and tilting his chin so he can slip his tongue back in between Zack’s already red bitten lips. 

It really does unlock all his desperation, all his fear, and just everything negative building in him since they ran from Midgar. 

Cloud’s keeping him from drowning, again. 

It shifts their mood, Zack’s got a more primal need starting in him. Slides his hands down and around to get under the too big medical gown on Cloud. Grazes his fingers over his back, tickles at his ribs, and starts pressing hard at his hips.

Pulls a loud moan from Cloud that isn’t nearly muffled enough from their kissing. 

“No!” Something smacks right into their sides, makes them jump apart, and stare down at each other in bewilderment, “no fucking in the medical wing!”

Zack’s sure, they both turn at Kunsel with twin glares and annoyed looks. Feels their same ‘are you fucking kidding me’ thoughts zing through their connection. 

Doesn’t work on Kunsel. Zack’s tried all his intimidating looks, all his sad puppy looks, nothing. Kunsel gives zero fucks about what Zack wants. 

Or about anything really. 

Zack rolls his eyes, turns back to Cloud, and leans back down, hands going right back to his waist.

“Nope!” Ow, fuck, Kunsel’s also got really good aim, “down boy.”

“I’m not a dog,” Zack snips back, he can’t really manage any heat though, Cloud’s hiding his laughter in his shoulder and Kunsel’s mock-glaring at him. 

He hears that ‘well-’ loud and clear from Cloud in his head. 

“Hey you,” Zack says, can’t really keep up the fake annoyance at him. Not when he’s almost giggling up at him and tucking Zack's dumb hair back behind his ear. 

He gives up. Everything’s been near insanity type of chaos and he’s drained emotionally and still tender from healing and he’s still got a bundle of worry growing again in the back of his head. 

Zack collapses down onto Cloud, shoves his face back into his shoulder, and sulks into his skin. 

He still can’t trust he’s outta the deep end for hurting Cloud, but….

It feels fucking amazing pressed in against him and listening to their connection be truly open for the first time in...maybe ever. 

He’ll take it.

***

Kunsel let them leave medical, eventually. After poking at them and making sure their battle wounds from Nibelheim were mostly healed. Cloud’s still got JENOVA bruising around his torso and his thighs and some of the bigger blisters are still a faint, painless scab. 

Zack’s got a fresh new tenderly pink scare on his chest. 

Aerith came by too, just as Kunsel was giving in and couldn’t handle all of their touching. 

Cloud would blame it on Zack normally, but he’s just as desperate for his touch. He wants to get lost in Zack just as much. To try and not think about Nibelheim or that creeping feeling that still lingers of Sephiroth high-jacking his mind. 

They’ll need to talk about it, Cloud hates the look Zack keeps trying to hide. Like he doesn’t think he deserves Cloud’s easily given forgiveness. 

What is he supposed to do? Be mad that Zack had a panic attack cause their greatest enemy was trying to kill him, again, after being completely annihilated by him in Nibelheim. That he protected himself? 

It doesn’t really matter if it was his body that was attacking him, it was still Sephiroth and Cloud can’t, he can’t be mad. 

He can only feel relief that they are okay, Zack’s okay and not bleeding out on him. He’s still alive and finally,  _ finally _ managed to gain some type of control over the two forces invading his mind since the very beginning. Mostly because of Zack again. Helping him without even really knowing. Making him stronger, mentally, and physically. 

Even Aerith seems to have a newfound reserve. Looks Cloud dead in the eyes and says,

“Figured it out? You feel any weirdness, let someone know.”

Right. 

There’s still his left arm though. Know’s JENOVA rests inside his veins there, but he’s too mentally drained to look. Even if it is twitching more than ever. Pulses painfully sometimes too. 

It just feels good to get out of medical and back into their assigned room, even if it takes the whole walk there for Cloud to realize he’s still in his boxer-briefs and the minty medical gown. 

He’s got...no clothes? He’s not sure if Zack has any of their extra clothes way back from slum 7, the ones Tifa bought them. 

Not that it matters right this moment, Zack shoves him up against their large window the second their door closes behind them. Hands wandering and pressing him against the cold glass. Feels like hours Zack keeps him there, just touching him.

“Ah” Cloud can’t stop moaning, holding on to Zack and lets him keep his rough, fast touches going. He’s pressing hard into his skin and ruts against him until Cloud is so achingly hard he nearly comes before Zack can even get their clothes off. 

Must have been a while, the sun’s starting to move well past noon high, getting more golden by the second and Zack’s finally pulled the little clothing they have on off of them. 

Zack’s got him on their bed now, face down, knees open and hips up. Just high enough for Zack to nestle down behind him on his chest and hook his arms around his thighs. He’s had his tongue inside him for the better part of an hour. Pushing Cloud into a fever, can’t stop the high whimpers from his throat. Even shoving his face down into the pillow Zack had slipped under his arms and chest, does nothing. Still loud. 

It’s just...a lot. Feels better than he can remember. Raw from their...incident, from all his emotions and from drowning in fear from Sephiroth taking over his mind. 

But this...being with Zack in the quiet of their room, having Zack touch him after nearly losing him. 

“Ahh-AH,” Cloud lurches forward. Zack shoves his tongue in deep, spreading the thin skin around his pucker for better access. It’s so warm and Cloud can’t stop his hips from twitching. He’s dripping, has been nearly the whole time and Zack’s not letting up. Licking long strokes inside him, pulling out and flattening his tongue out to swipe up over him. Does it over and over. 

Backs off sometimes, to gentle probs before thrusting inside of him again. Cloud can’t remember Zack’s tongue being this...long. So much reach, so wet and flicks inside him just right. 

He grasps at the sheets, shut his eyes tight to stop himself from coming. He doesn’t want to. He wants this forever, wants Zack touching him, wants his attention, his-

Fuck, fuck he’s  _ crying _ . He’s fucking crying and Zack’s reaching up between his legs and strokes his cock with the perfect swirl of his tongue inside him. Pushes him past the edge he’s been skirting around for hours. 

Cloud comes hard, shouts through his tears, and tares at the sheets. His legs shake; trapped in Zack’s arms. He locks his elbows, flexes his biceps against the back of Cloud’s thighs and pulls Cloud back down to him. 

“Zack-” he whines, he can’t help it. Zack’s shoving his tongue back in him, he’s already too sensitive. He  _ can’t _ , he needs a break. 

Trembling, he reaches behind him blindly, weakly grasps at Zack’s silky hair. Can’t really push him away. He’s got no leverage. Zack’s flicking his tongue back out of him anyway. Breathy laughter vibrating against his skin. 

“Too much?” Zack sounds like he doesn’t care what Cloud’s answer is. Sucks a wet kiss against the swell of his ass. Crawls up his body, slipping his skin against him the whole way.

A kiss on his left shoulder and Zack’s pressing his cheek against Cloud’s, letting his weight press Cloud down into the mattress more. 

“Hey, you’re crying,” He just knows, Zack’s giving him his tender eyes. His voice turns deep and honey-thick when he flashes them at him. 

“S’a lot,” Cloud slurs, coming down, feels like Zack’s had more than his tongue in him. He’s spent, too worn out from….everything. 

He’s got no energy to kiss Zack back, lets him pepper the side of his face with soft kisses. Press his nose against his skin. Doesn’t even register Zack shifting them, pulling Cloud onto his chest. Only comes back with his face buried in Zack’s neck and a soft hand tangled in his hair, scratching gently at his scalp. 

Zack’s hard against his hip. He hasn’t let up on Cloud at all, kept him under his hands and his lips. Hasn’t let Cloud touch him back, or even half focus on him. 

He’s shaken out of his energy stupor from the thought.

Zack’s...he doesn’t know what Zack is doing. It’s the same but not. Feels off. Desperate. Cloud’s been pulled so fast into euphoria he’s only now noticing. He pulls back, enough to tilt his head and look into Zack’s eyes. 

A look there, Zack tries to keep it from him. Haunted, shadowed in his eyes.

His eyes have more of a galaxy swirling in them. They’ve changed in more than one way. Usually, Cloud has no problem getting lost in them, especially with all the stardust starting to glitter among the mako crystals. 

But that look now...guilt. 

Cloud doesn’t stop the small “ah” at the realization. Strikes through his body so quickly, he zeros in on their connection, making sure he’s holding no part of his walls up. Not anymore. He wants to be completely overwhelmed with...

Zack, just Zack, no matter what he’s feeling. 

This time, it brings a sharp sting to his eyes. 

And then the guilt follows, it’s all Zack’s. Pushes Cloud’s tears from his eyes. 

“Zack….”

Zack’s gasping his own little inhale, not expecting Cloud to so easily share their minds when he so often shuts him out. There’s no hiding it now. His eyes darken even more with it, frowns, and bites into the corner of his lip. He looks away from Cloud. 

That’s _ his _ move. Zack’s never...hidden from him. 

Still has his hand threading in Cloud’s hair, his arm tight around his waist. He is shaking. Turns his head more from Cloud, so all he can see is his strong jaw and the thin scar sliced in his skin. Hides his eyes and his sharp little tooth digging into his lip. 

Doesn’t hide the trail of water running over his cheek. Zack’s crying. He hasn’t….Cloud’s only seen him cry once. Back in Midgar. He pulls back more and sits up, and corners Zack more on the bed. 

Slips a leg over his hips and settles in his lap. Zack clearly doesn’t want to let Cloud go, immediately is wrapping his arms around his waist and yanking him closer. Their stomachs touching. He doesn’t want to look at Cloud either, just shoves his face down into Cloud’s shoulder. Only his forehead, so he can’t feel the wetness on his face...he wants to still hide his tears from Cloud. 

They are loud in his head though. Zack’s bad at hiding his emotions, even worse so in their link. Too bold in his feelings. The guilt is screaming at Cloud. Making it hard for him to focus on his own thoughts. 

He’s...he’s used sex before. To comfort Zack. But he’s shaking so hard and won’t let Cloud move too much in his arms. 

Fuck, he’s bad at comfort this way. And he’s still got calmer tears running down his own cheeks.

A mess. They are such a mess. Crying against each other and just….

No. Cloud can do this. Zack’s hurting and it’s his fault. He let Sephiroth win...he should have been stronger. Should have tried to shut JENOVA out faster. He knows it wasn’t him trying to choke Zack out, but it was still his hands under Sephiroth’s control. Still his fault for not resisting more. 

He’d just been...so tired. Tired of fighting, of looking for the strength to keep going. Even though he does want to keep going. He wants to so badly. There’s just a numbing crashing into him all the time now. An ache he feels from his counterparts. He knows that’s where it’s from. Deep in his bones. All the trauma crashing into him from other timelines. He’ll never remember, but it shows up in other ways. 

It’s still not okay. For him to ignore Zack’s hurt. To shut him out like he has been. Zack’s emotionally charged, quick to laugh, quick to anger, just jumps right in and thrives off his emotions. But it’s his downfall too. Hurts more than others, faster, harder. 

“M’sorry,” Zack mutters into his skin. Squeezes Cloud a little harder, “how do I fix this…”

Cloud’s heart thuds painfully, fix him? Is that what Zack means? He...can’t. Cloud is sure he’s well past that point. Too broken to heal anymore. 

“Fix wha-”

But Zack’s pressing harder against him, “You’re scared of me, I can see it, I’m  _ sorry _ .”

Oh...it’s breaking his heart. Cloud’s not scared of Zack. Can’t even remember what his hands around his neck felt like. Or the shove that split the back of his head open. It’s all just a blur, with Sephiroth zapping in and out of control of him. 

He is scared of losing him. Of Zack getting tired of dealing with all his...everything. His mental exhaustion, his caginess. Too broken to fix. Even with the stronger resolve now built in his mind. Zack connecting with him in all ways, inside him, inside his mind, here, right now, his touch and his breath and his sweet worry. His need to keep him safe. Cloud should have guessed, Zack wouldn’t take his forgiveness so easily. 

Cloud wraps his arms around Zack’s shoulders, cradles his head against him, “I’m not scared of you.”

His shaking just gets worse. Shoves forward and down, slamming Cloud down onto the mattress. Crowds down over him, rough fingers slipping down and pressing at him. Pressing  _ in. _

“Ah,” Cloud arches, it’s fast. He didn’t expect it. This desperation Zack has, comes roaring back in their link and Cloud won’t deny him. He just...wants Zack, to be a bit more present, not so lost in his fear that he hurt him. 

It’s all over him, his desperation, in his arms, in his touch. He’s pressing fraught kisses into Cloud’s skin. All over his shoulder, up his neck. Under his jaw. All the while shoving two fingers in deep, spreads Cloud’s legs with his body, and just presses against the knot of nerves inside him. 

Frantic and distraught, keeps mumbling in between kisses, ‘I won’t hurt you.’ and ‘I promise, I’ll never hurt you.’

Like Cloud doesn’t know….

Zack’s always been protecting him. Always, even when they first met, all through his stumbling in his cadet ranks. At Nibelheim and now, always. 

Cloud’s let him down. Letting him think, that Cloud is scared of Zack hurting him. Thinking one soft moment in the medical wing was all it took to ease Zack. How could he think that? When he knows Zack’s looping is out of control, only fueled by his anxiousness. 

Like Zack ever would hurt him on purpose in the first place. 

“AH,” Cloud winces at the hard press in him, it’s a lot on him, he’s still too sensitive from the hours of Zack’s intent focus. 

He’d let him go, let him keep touching too much, but…

He’s still shaking and his mumbling is too fast and incoherent. Still has tears on his face. Zack doesn’t have to fix anything. It’s already fixed, in Cloud’s mind. 

“Zack,” Cloud says, bites through another too much pleasure building on the thrust of his fingers, “Zack,” he’s not listening. Stuck on repeat in his desperation, “ _ Zack. _ ”

Cloud slips a hand into his dark hair, grips gently, but yanks back hard to snap Zack out of his looping. He freezes against Cloud. His fingers slip out of him. Shakes against him and looks down into Cloud’s eyes with wide uncertainty. Lost. He’s so lost and Cloud  _ never  _ wants to see this look in his eyes again. It’s too void and soul-crushing. So unlike Zack. He’s too undone. 

Cloud searches his face, looking for any sign he’s getting through to him. Shoves everything he can through their link. 

How much Cloud appreciates Zack.

How hard it is for him to be away from him.

How grateful he is, Zack never gave up on him, never let him fail. 

How much he loves him. 

Cloud swallows through their heavy breathing, laxes his grip on Zack’s hair. Pushes up slow and cradles Zack down to meet him. 

He kisses Zack so softly, looks at his face when he pulls back, makes sure he’s coming back from his lost haze. He is, slowly.

So Cloud just keeps pressing in. A little too wet and off-center. Too loud smacking and just on the easy side of not enough pressure. It brings Zack back all the way, it must. Cloud keeps hearing the word ‘sweet’ in his head and Zack shifts them.

He hikes Cloud’s leg up and over his hip, presses Cloud back down, very tenderly, resting Cloud’s head on one of his forearms. Cloud follows his body, wraps his legs high over Zack’s waist, lets him ease his body back. But he takes his lips for his own. Short and harder suction, titles his chin often for a different angle. Keeps Zack close to him and entangles his hands into his hair. 

They part breathing heavy, noses brushing.

“I know,” Cloud says, before Zack can do anything else. Say anything or spiral back into a looping mess, “I know you won’t hurt me. Zack,” a quick reassuring kiss, “I love you.”

It shocks Zack into something else. Not the lost look, but Cloud can’t place what it is. Mixes with the neediness he’s used too.

The neediness he likes. 

“Can I...can I touch you?” Zack asks him. Reminds Cloud of their first time, how Zack asked him if he could do anything, the smallest touch, if Cloud was okay with it. 

His heart throbs and swells with affection. He knows, he knows what he can give Zack. Pulls him for a searing, open mouth kiss. Presses his tongue in between Zack’s lips before he can. Just long enough to get them both gasping again.

“I love when you touch me,” Cloud says against his lips. He can’t be withdrawn anymore. Can’t just let Zack soothe his shyness. He means it this time too. 

A different resolve settles in him, more final and stronger. Feels the universe falling just right into his veins and his bones and flow all throughout his body. It’s Zack, he knows it is, this new feeling of the universe becoming one with them. 

It’s why his eyes are so full of stars now. 

Zack fits his hips lower, pressing the head of his cock against Cloud’s entrance. Reaches down between them and teases Cloud, a light touch brushing against his cock. Starts pulling open-mouthed kisses from him. His touch is less distressed, less rushed. Wraps his hand around Cloud’s cock and strokes in long tight movements. Keeps rubbing at Cloud’s entrance with the head of his own. 

Their link is buzzing quieter, fewer emotions being mixed in, and clashing together. Just...just Zack’s sweetness returning, overpowering his lingering guilt. 

Cloud doesn’t want this teasing though. He wants Zack in him, right now. He’s had  _ hours _ of Zack opening him up, loosening him for the sweetest slide. He digs his hands harder into Zack’s hair, pulls on the layered strains.

“Zack,” he groans at the faster stroke his starting on his cock, “fuck me. Get that cock in me right now.”

Zack likes it. The dirty talk, likes when Cloud gets just a bit more demanding. A little rougher. 

He follows it with a lip trapped in his teeth and rocks his hips up towards Zack. 

It gets him what he wants, Zack’s pulling his arm from behind Cloud’s head, holds Cloud’s legs open and thrusts in with a long smooth slide. He’s still slick from Zack fucking prepping him for an hour before he ate him out for another. 

Feels amazing. Even with his nerves still being raw and their link shoving all their thoughts and pleasure at each other. 

They haven’t done that either, since Kalm. Haven’t opened their connection so completely that Cloud can feel how close to the edge Zack is already. Feel the heat fogging him, the pleasure building tightly in his own stomach. 

Makes everything far past the point of too much and Cloud-

Cloud just lets go.

Lets go of his doubt.

Lets go of his reserved tendencies.

Of the ache in him, he can’t seem to rid completely. 

Of Nibelheim.

Of everything.

So it’s just Zack.

Zack and his searing kisses, too much tongue and tasting too sweet. Just his strong hip rolls, moving deep inside Cloud and rubbing and stroking along every nerve he didn’t even know could feel good.

“S’good, Zack, please,” Cloud’s not even trying anymore. Not with their connection overwhelming him with pleasure and waves of heat and neediness, “more, harder, I need it harder.”

Zack takes one more kiss from him, smiles closely with tears still linger in his sky-starry eyes. He pulls out of Cloud, draws a whimper from him. Flips him over and yanks his hips up, sliding in hard and fast. 

He covers Cloud with his body, pushing him down into the bed and shoving his cock in the deepest it’s ever been. 

“Ah-Za-ah-ck-,” Cloud feels his whole body shake. Slides his legs open a bit more and goes lax. 

Takes Zack’s pounding hip thrusts and bruising finger presses. Just lets him ravish inside Cloud as hard as he needs too. Cloud loves it. Loves when Zack lets loose and doesn’t worry too much if Cloud’s feeling good. He always feels good with Zack. He’s ruined him. 

“Yes-AH,  _ yes _ like that Zack.” he can barely get it out, mostly air pushing from his lungs in long drawn out moans. He’ll manage, Zack likes him mouthy. Likes all the talking. 

His angle changes, just so and Cloud’s shoved into oblivion. Sees the galaxy in all it’s dark beauty and the stars burning and spinning. Zack’s nearly breaking him with his speed and his strength. Feels the high point in their link. Zack’s done, just a few more-

Goes off rhythm inside Cloud, pulls up and grabs Cloud by his arms, holds them behind his back to use as a grip. Yanks Cloud back onto his knees, body arched back into a deep curve and Zack shoves one last time.  _ Hard _ , so deep when he comes inside Cloud, he can feel it rushing all in him. Filling him and making everything so slick. 

He must have come at the same time as Zack. Barely could tell the difference between his orgasm and Zack’s, their link is buzzing so much with lust and pleasure and too much of everything. Spins Cloud’s head the second they come down and the afterglow washes over them. 

He falls down onto the bed, gasping for air and completely out of energy. Zack’s taken all of it from him. 

He does give him a little laugh as he collapses all of his weight on top of him. 

Grunts first though. Zack’s fucking heavy, all that muscle. Lingers on top of him until his breath is under control and then rolls to the side. Cuddles in close to Cloud and turns him a bit, so they are laying on their sides, pressing in so tight, Cloud can almost hear Zack’s heart beating with his own ears and not their connection. 

He’s smiling at him, way too dopey and lust drunk. Hair is falling all in his face. Cloud reaches out and tucks some of it back. Thumbs along his temple, he doesn’t’ really want to stop touching Zack. 

“Hi,” Zack says, voice raw like it always is after moaning like that. Cloud’s not really sure why Zack teases him so much, Zack’s the moaner between them. 

Cloud chuckles, low and soft, “hi,” tucks another rowdy strain of hair back. 

Zack turns serious on him, thunks their heads together. He probably thinks it’s cute. Cloud doesn’t mind, even if his head rings from the force of it, Zack always headbutts him too hard. 

“Cloud...are-are we okay?”

Cloud hopes so. He doesn’t know what else to do if they are not. He’ll always be bad with words. Without their mind link, maybe the ease of them wouldn’t exist. 

He's unsure, waiting for an answer reflects on his face and in his head. Cloud’s not sure what Zack is looking for. He’s been clear, he’s not upset. So then...he just needs reassurance? 

For a little while. He’ll have to be patient and give Zack what he needs. 

Cloud nods, shifting in more and nuzzles against Zack’s chin, stays close, and surrounds Zack in their link. 

Eventually, they’ll lose the rawness of too many horrors. Get back their sureness and their unwavering bond. 

Just need some time. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seeeeee, no cliffhanger this time! I'm not that mean, lol. Lots of nice, boring old fluff coming up after all the panic-induced reading I put you guys through. XD  
> I'm also taking a break from HOA, JUST so I can finish up my TurkCloud AU, so updates on this guy will hold for about a week or two. I want to focus on two fics at a time only.  
> Thanks for being so awesome, as usual, you guys!! I'm so happy everyone is sticking with all the shinegnigens.  
> See Ya Next Time!!  
> PS: if anyone wants to come and squeal about Zakkura/Clack, my twitter handle is the same as my handle here, @hrelics9, updates on my fics are usually posted there! :)


	23. Say You Don't Hate Me for Nothing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Plot and angst-what else do you expect by now? 
> 
> *WARNINGS*  
> TRIGGERS: Gore, wounds, blood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UH  
> I SORRY?  
> I MAY HAVE GOTTEN CARRIED AWAY WITH MY OTHER FICS AND THEN TOOK A 2 WEEK BREAK.
> 
> Happy Reading!

Look for the green. It’s been stuck in her head since she woke. 

Since they’ve gotten closer and closer to the ocean's soft edges and the bright sunny skies of Costa Del Sol. The thought is still mixed with Cloud’s voice. She misses him.

Misses their long travels and their curled in nights together by a campfire. Even with Sephiroth chasing them around Gaia. Cloud without the shadowed look of pain and weariness. Without all parallels crashing into him. 

A weird nostalgia and longing for a time of certain death and no way to end it. Somehow it seems more simple than their current confusing back and forth of one step ahead, one step behind. 

Green…

What did he mean? Look for the green? All she can think of is lifestream. Cloud’s not cryptic, not like Gaia. He wouldn’t speak in circles until she eventually ends up on the right answer. He’s usually straight to the point. So….

Plants? Is that what he meant? Somewhere with lots of plants? 

Aerith sighs. Pick up her pace along the dim hallways of the HIGHWIND; towards the front of the ship. They must nearly be there. The salt from the sea pulls in from outside. Gets stronger by the hour. 

A place to rest. Cloud needs it. She tries to ignore the pang of guilt poking at her. He’s her anchor and she hasn’t been looking out for him. She hasn’t even checked on Zack. Now that she’s asked him to give up something just as precious too. Her two SOLDIERS. She’s taken too much from them. When this is all over, she hopes they will forgive her for it. It gnaws on her mind all the time now and it’s starting to show on her face. She knows. Tifa’s constant worried glances and soft touches to the small of her back tell her. 

She’s been sent to go roundup Cloud and Zack but they aren’t in their room. Not near the lower deck or on any of the lookout rooms on the left side. She’s just given up and is heading up top to hide her face in Tifa’s shoulder. She needs a long hug and the soft smell of her shampoo. 

She still checks every room she passes. Their SOLDIERS have been locked away for nearly two days; hiding from everyone. 

She and Kunsel had told everyone of Sephiroth’s control of Cloud. Maybe not the best choice for Cloud but the risk is too large now. It doesn’t matter that Gaia has reassured her that Cloud found a way to block Sephiroth. Or even that Aerith can feel it too. See in Cloud’s eyes the final lingering coma-like stare completely gone. It’s still a possibility. She suspects it always will be. At least until JENOVA is finished.

A long discussion had turned into a rather bitter argument about what to do. If Cloud was even safe to be around. It’s familiar in her mind too. The hesitation of horrible words; leave him. For some reason her sternum aches with it and no memories come. Just a sharp sting in her body. Like a sword. 

No one has really looked for either of them since then. She doubts Zack wants to be pulled away from Cloud anyway. 

There’s one last lookout room near the last level of stairs up to the flight deck. She pokes her head in and jerks back in surprise. She didn’t think they would be in here.

But there they are; curled together on a soft, In the corner of the room on an old, soft-looking couch. Entirely too engrossed in one another. The urge for her to tease them and break them apart is strong in her chest. Any other time it would be fun but a striking awareness makes her stop. The look Zack has on his face every time they break apart. She can see it from the doorway; from the shadows. Vulnerable and unsure. She’s never seen Zack like that. Not even when he was hunched with his back to her, crying and broken in at the church. That was so long ago now. 

She slowly slips back out the doorway. Not wanting to break the overly tender air in the room. Cloud’s touches for him are so soft and nurturing. Strong in his movements, confidence he seems to only show in battle. 

It’s not something she’s foreign too. Not with so many timelines running in her head. She’s just never seen them together. His gentleness and his confidence. Not like that; so protective and loving, all focused down to Zack. 

That guilty ache comes back with a flicker of sadness. She heads back up top into the open air and heads right for Tifa near the far railing on the right. Curls her arms around her waist and presses her cheek against her back. 

“Hey, find them?” Tifa asks.

“I think they want to be alone still.”

Tifa turns to tuck some of Aerith’s locks behind her ear.

“They can’t hide forever. I know Cloud must feel weird, but we need to figure out what we are doing next.”

She’s actually not worried about Cloud for once. Tifa’s not wrong, they are still flowing in the wind without a thought. Nibelheim just caused a nightmare with more questions. 

Besides Vincent. 

She needs to go find him. Speak with him about Sephiroth and the Turks. He’s taken up hiding on the ship too. 

Actually...after that argument they all had. She hasn’t seen much of anyone. She sighs and readjusts her grip on Tifa. Hooks her chin over her shoulder.

“I feel broken,” Aerith says to the wind. Watches a flock of birds lower their flight path, “like we’re all going down different paths that we can’t see.”

“I...yeah. Me too.”

That doesn’t make her feel better at all. 

“Ugh, I’m tired of knowing nothing.” 

“Hey,” Tifa pulls back, hands sliding along her arms with a comforting pressure, “that’s not true, we know about JENOVA. We know all that shit Hojo did to Cloud, to Zack.”

“But that doesn’t help us.”

“You know your HOLY materia is how to stop JENOVA.”

“But what if all of this...the way to stopping JENOVA-what if the cost is too high?”

She’s worried over it for weeks. The pain in Cloud is too much to witness anymore and now she’s taken a piece of Zack as well. 

Well...other her. But it’s her all along. 

“Too high?” Tifa echoes. Her eyes harden, “Aerith. There is no too high a price. For the whole planet? For life? I think it’s sunken in for everyone now. It doesn’t matter what happens to us.”

They just need to stop it.

Aerith feels tears sting her eyes; Of frustration and stress. This isn’t supposed to happen. They aren’t supposed to be ready to die. No one is supposed to die this time. 

A horrible chill sets in her stomach.

What if-what if they all die this time? They all have to sacrifice to kill JENOVA for good. Is that Gaia’s will? Her gift to them? Bring them home to whatever the promised land is. In exchange for protecting her and ridding the planet of this cursed parasite? 

“I’m sorry, I’m not helping,” Tifa says, “I hate seeing you so frazzled. I still think we got this. We’ll finish it the right way.” 

Affection warms her whole body. Breaks her arms out in goosebumps from the contrasting cooler air. Tifa’s confidence is fragile and gentle but it settles all her worries every time. There’s a low strong tone in it. In the set of her shoulders. Even in her worries. A silent strength Aerith is just realizing how much she depends on. 

“No,” she says, smiles widely at Tifa before going back in for a tight hard hug, “you are helping. You always help. And you’re right.”

A break. That’s all. Time to heal and de-stress. Gaia told her, it’s blocking her information. Cloud is too stressed. Zack is, she is. _Everyone._ They need real downtime. Not running from ShinRa battered and barely healed. Not stuck at a base with untrusting gazes and newly forced dangers placed on them. 

“Mmm..well...you wanna go hide away like Zack and Cloud then?”

Aerith laughs into Tifa’s hair. Lets her slip her hands under her jacket and presses needily against the clasps of her bra under her lace dress. The low heat in her body says yes. Yes, she really does. Giggles against Tifa’s neck and drags her by her hand back into the depths of the HIGHWIND. 

Distractions are needed for her as well. More than she takes advantage of. 

She needs to get better at that too. 

It’s easier at least. With Tifa’s long hair and her sweet eyes to fall into. 

***

He gets the text late in the day. After he’s shuffled into his room and sat down on his bed for too long. Staring at the wall and thinking too hard about his headache. It’s diminishing at least.

Still...fuck. JENOVA? What the hell is this shit? Sephiroth’s control over Cloud? Little Cadet Strife mixed up in SOLDIER shit? He can hardly believe it. 

Kunsel feels almost betrayed. Mad he didn’t catch on sooner. If he had noticed? Things could have been different. Could have maybe kept Sephiroth down this path. Kept Zack from such horrors. Feels that way anyway. What good was he, if he couldn’t figure out the shit the Turks let slip? All his friends back at ShinRa...

“Shit…” 

And now it affects him. He’s sure of it. The way his headache fades the farther they get from Nibehielm. The way it pulsed in the Mt. Nibel reactor. When the town was overrun with JENOVA growth and tar. 

The JENOVA cells must be in him too. It’s not a pretty picture then. Seeing what it’s doing to Zack and Cloud. Makes him irritated, nervous, and on edge. He wants this shit out of him. By the sounds of it though, it won’t happen. There for life. 

Kunsel stares too long at the wall across from him. There’s a weird scratch on it he keeps focusing on every time he lingers in his room. Today, too long. Only shakes out of his daze when a loud high buzz adds to the low hum of the HIGHWIND. 

His PHS vibrates again. 

Cissnei: _Hey-you guys okay? Zack’s not answering my messages._

Kunsel huffs. Tugs at his wolf tail till it drops around his shoulders. 

Okay. Sure, he’s okay. Zack and Cloud? He doesn't think they’ve been okay for a long time. A _long_ time. The changes in them, he’d picked up on the subtle ones immediately, right when he arrived on the Wutai base. 

Took only a few days to see how deep it really is. Zack’s eyes…

Kunsel’s never seen the darkness that lingers in them or the panic that flares up when he’s not near Cloud. Happens so much Kunsel thinks Zack can’t tell anymore that he’s flooded with anxiety. It’s more than jarring to see the contrast in him. Painful too, when his old self bursts out from the near-constant wall there. 

Kunsel gets mad at himself a little more, each time he watches Zack’s ecstatic side fall back into the dark stare that lingers with him. 

If only he’d poked around more, tried to find Zack sooner. Maybe this wouldn’t be happening. Could have stopped the suffering Strife went through and saved Zack the heartache. He knew too, no matter how many times SOLDIER tried to tell him. He just knew deep down Zack wasn’t dead. All the time pretending he was….such a waste. 

Right, Cissnei’s messaged him. 

Kunsel: _Sure, this JENOVA shit is more fucked than we thought._

What else is he supposed to say? Hey, Sephiroth the great war hero can body jump into little Cadet Strife? Or that fucking parasite is overtaking whole towns? Mountain ranges? How much time do they _really_ have before the whole planet is fucked.

Cissnei: _I...sorry. I hope you guys are okay. I’ve gotten nowhere with the materia, but Rufus has called us in tomorrow for a meeting. All of us._

Means something big then, if all the Turks are going in. 

Kunsel: _You guys get reprimanded bad? For the HIGHWIND?_

She takes a bit longer to reply.

Cissnei: _Nah, I think he’s got a backup plan. Look, I’m pretty sure Reno and Rude wanna bail. Things have been….not good here._

It’s not a surprise. Since the disappearance of its top SOLDIERS all those years ago, the death of Director Lazard. SOLDIER has never been the same. A slow decline for just rabid creature experiments and insane SOLDIER making. He was starting to feel like the only sane one left. Even Roche just went off the deep end one day. Starting staring at his bike too long with loving eyes and talking in weird circles about nothing. He almost didn’t want to keep training cadets. A deep itch to warn them away from the SOLDIER program grew in his chest from then on out. 

The same itch tells him he can’t really keep the insanity coming to all of them. How long do they have?

Seems to be the only question he’s got lately. How long…..

Kunsel: _Got anything we can use? We’ve struck out at Nibelheim. I think….I think Zack and Strife are flying blind here._

Blind and wounded. And he’s the idiot following them. 

Cissnei: _Maybe. Tseng’s been pretty MIA. Managed to find out Rufus is worried about Sephiroth’s motives. So, maybe something soon. Hang in there._

Yeah. That’s starting to get harder by the day. 

***

Muffled yelps wake him. At least he thinks so. The silence is pounding in his ears, syncs with his startled breathing. Blinking away the darkness to semi-grey shapes and barely light floor, Zack finally realizes the colder space next to him. 

It’s empty and reaching out leaves him colder. Cloud’s not there.

Laying and listening hard till his ears almost ring, he hears it again. 

A very muffled whine. From the bathroom. 

Damn it. 

Guilt swallows him. Wakes him completely and shakes his core. He can’t rid it. Still feels Cloud’s throat under his hands. Hears the painful whine now that enough time has passed for his memory of it to clear from the panic. All of it almost keeps him from spring off the mattress at the third distressed sound.

Almost. 

The tiny part of him, buried under all the stress and the bundle of darkness, the part that has accepted Cloud’s forgiveness. The part that still aches to let go, to keep hold to his brightness and his upbeat happiness. It’s been beaten down so much in the last few weeks, Zack’s not sure how to get it back. Not sure how to listen to that part of himself anymore. When it’s all he’s ever been.

Before when ShinRa didn’t echo a threat in his mind.

Before…

Cloud’s louder hissing floats around the room and urges his body on its own. Rushes across the room to the small bathroom doorway. The shitty flickering light is on, giving Zack just enough light to take in Cloud’s hunched body over the sink. Even from the side, his face is swimming in pain. Biting hard into his lip and wincing. 

Grunts at every pull as he’s unwinding the bandages around his left arm. 

“Shit- _Cloud_ ,” Zack can barely manage the whisper. It’s harsh though; biting and low.

Body jolting, Cloud’s head shoots up, unaware Zack was in the doorway. He schools the pain from his expression too well, face falling neutral. Unbends his spine and tilts his elbow in, hiding his arm. 

Hiding from Zack. It cuts deep. It’s not because Cloud is pulling away from him. It’s just that Zack’s mind tells him that’s why. The anxiety starting to win out. 

Warmth floods their link; tries to shove away the coldness from his darker thoughts. More comforting and gentle. Reflects in Cloud’s glowing eyes just a few feet from him. It doesn’t help him at all. The guilt grows low in his stomach and he sucks in a harsh breath.

“Zack,” Cloud’s so gentle, an uptick inflection drowning in soothing tones. 

“You’re _hurting_ ,” A hot wash of unease follows his stinging eyes. Cloud goes a little blurry in the dark. Hurting and hid it from Zack. That aches more. In the late hour of the night, it intensifies every dark thought he’s had in his head since he woke up that morning. 

“No, I didn’t hide it from you for that,” Cloud says. Eyes sure and reaching out encouragingly for him, “Just wanted you to sleep some.” 

It’s hard to believe him. The old part of him wins out, as small as it is. He steps forward in a rush. Touch going behind Cloud’s left elbow, his other hand skimming around his neck. Brushing his pulse longer than he needs too. He’s afraid to look in Cloud’s mind. Holds back…

Is this...is this how Cloud feels? Why he keeps Zack from seeing everything in their connection? Always _just_ held at arm's length? It’s different now, their roles switched. Zack can feel it. A silent force so completely resting in his subconscious. Means Cloud has finally let down that wall. Now he’s the one hiding. _Fuck._

His vision gets more blurry and his next inhale is embarrassingly more shaky. A panicky itch to yank his hand away from Cloud’s neck is strong. Makes his forearm jump and tense, muscles seizing under his skin. 

“Zack, it’s okay,” Cloud says. Quickly covering Zack’s hand with his own. Keeps the pressure against the tendon in his neck, “help me? It’ll be less painful. Now that you’re up.”

There’s no lie in him. No hesitation, no bashfulness peeking out. 

Completely given himself to him. 

Zack wants to run. He’s never wanted to run away in his life. Ever. It’s overwhelming now; fights his core and his soul. He’s losing himself in the dark and he doesn’t know how to get out. 

Cloud’s face falls; a small flash of compassion eases his lines. Squeezes Zack’s hand and rotates his left arm out. Exposing the badly unwrapped bandage. 

“Please, I trust only you.”

Might as well shot him in the chest. His words quiet and soft; resonates in the hollowness Zack’s realizing has come roaring back to him. Hates the admission. Why now? Why has Cloud completely surrendered himself to Zack now? When he should be withdrawing away more?

…How’d he get Cloud?

He can’t run. It’s not him. Told himself no more of it. Not after Nibelheim the first time. He’s got Cloud under his touch, looking so much better, so much stronger then he ever has. A silent strength that settles into his softness with a comfort Zack’s only seen a few times between them. 

Zack pushes forward, envelopes Cloud in his arms, pulls him to his chest, and buries his face down into his hair. He shakes with the worry but he can’t do this to Cloud. Can’t hide from him. Lets his mind go, relax into the warm pull that feels like summer nights and sweet drinks. 

No anger. 

No fear. 

No resentment. 

Cloud’s only got love for him. A want to be close and linger near. 

Sweetness. 

One Zack’s amazed he still gets all to himself. 

Clutches Cloud even closer and holds him for a few more long seconds. 

“Of course I’ll help you,” he says. Pulling away as he shakes away the wateriness in his voice. 

Zack gently eases him back a few steps into the bathroom. Sits him down on the toilet cover and tucks a lock of hair behind his ear. The bathroom has a few low shitty lights. Zack spins to reach and press the last switch on. It’s not much better, everything flickers dingier and too white toned. 

It does give Zack the horrific view of Cloud’s arm. He’s kept it twisted up, held out so Zack can clearly see he’s not hiding anything from him. 

The bandage is soaked in black...something. It’s thick, barely still a liquid, and seeping out onto the fabric. Down in between Cloud’s fingers. The small drips that have fallen to the floor thin out with the slightest tint of red. Inky black mixing with Cloud’s blood. 

Kneeling so he can read any pain, no matter how small the flicker, Zack takes his arm. Cradles the wounded limb at the elbow. Unwrapping the soaked bandage slowly jumpstarts their healing ability. A cooling falls over their hands, spiraling all around their forearms. Glowing and bright and gentle. 

Cloud hisses, jerks put doesn’t pull away. “Sorry, Cloudy-Sky,” Zack says, wincing himself. The gaze sticks to parts of his skin. A closer look seems to be healed a little into the wounds stabbed in him. 

It’s going to hurt to pull it all off. His arm is soaked in the black liquid and blood. It needs cleaning so he’s got no choice. In a smooth, fast motion, Zack grips Cloud’s elbow in place and _yanks._

“Shit-ah- _ow_ ,” Cloud yanks forward with him, arm going limp and spasming in pain. Rests his forehead on the roundest spot of Zack’s shoulder. 

The wounds look...worse. Way worse than at the time of infliction. Their healing spell is spinning faster and faster. Spiraling over the four injections sites and easing the puffy redness around them. Zack watches the glow hover and heal his skin over. Stitching Cloud’s pale flesh back together.

Only for it to rip apart before the glow even fades. Blood bursting and black inky oozing bubbling up from his flesh. Looks more scabbed and deeper wounds every time. 

“It’s….it’s not healing.”

Cloud shakes his head against his skin. Breathing heavily and trying to stop the shaking in his arm.

“I…” he falls quiet. A buzzing of uncertainty in Zack’s head. What for? Of telling Zack or what he thinks is happening to him? “I think this is why my hand shakes. This…this happens in all the parallels.”

A surge of rage rushes through him. If that's true….Aerith’s sad watery eyes glancing at Cloud whenever the pain of a ghost wound flaring up. She knows then...knows and didn’t tell Cloud.

Didn’t tell _him._

“Aerith must know a way then. She’s got to know,” Zack grits out. Can’t stop the anger from seeping into his tone. He’s never been so mad at Aerith.

Cloud sighs at him. Reaches out his foot to press against Zack’s side. Keep him from leaving. Like Zack can’t control the urges his anger shoves at him.

Like he’s going to go off on Aerith. It’s...alarming and shakes Zack awake some more.

He’s not himself. He hasn’t been and he just can’t find a way back. Doesn’t know how anymore. 

“Maybe she didn’t tell me because she doesn't know how to help,” Cloud pulls back from him, blue eyes close and so so bright under the dim lights, “if it’s every time…Zack. Please, It doesn’t matter now.”

Doesn’t matter… _doesn’t matter?_ It’s bubbling over and searing in his mind. His rage grows. How the fuck can it not matter? Cloud is in pain. Constant and shaking from it and Zack’s just supposed to accept it? That just because in all over timelines Cloud has to suffer too?

The thought pushes more turmoil in him. Strikes him hard like a slap to the face.

Cloud suffers from this…with worse things in every timeline. And Zack just offs and dies in half of them. The speed his rage comes around at himself. Suddenly fixates on the faint-foggy memory of him dying. Cliffside and in the rain. Leaving Cloud alone. Vulnerable and weak and sacred. He didn’t even fucking know what had happened to him and Zack just fucking died on him. 

He jerks back from Cloud in a swift standing motion. Breathes hard through his nose and tries to block out his anger from Cloud. 

It’s not fair of him to be mad at Aerith. She fucking stuck around. Didn’t just race off like an asshole throwing their life meaninglessly into danger. 

Wreckless.

Jumps in too fast. 

Does Zack even want to go back to that? To his old self? 

A tiny ray of coolness spreads across the back of his neck. Easing down some of the heat and blinding red clouding his vision. 

“Hey, stop it,” Cloud says. He’s flat in tone but his eyes are soft and he follows Zack’s steps. Stands up and presses in so their bodies are mere inches away, “Nearly all of this shit...we can’t control it. We just have to keep moving.”

No…no that’s not what Zack can do. _He can’t_ , he has to keep in control. All he’s known is his life spiraling away from him for the last...fuck probably more than five years. How’s he supposed to keep going?

It’s beaten him down. He feels it. There’s no burst of brightness left in him. His hands contract and jerk. Feels tendons against his palms.

Too tightly. 

Tighter....

 _‘Zack.’_ Sharp and loud in his head. 

The cold spreads more. Tones down his heated fury to a soft soothing warmth. Cloud reaches out with his right hand. Trails a light touch over his chest; his eyes going sad with his softness.

“It’s right here, Zack,” He says. Pressing the palm of his hand over his heart, “you’ll find it again. You helped me find my way back. Please….let me do the same.”

Cloud’s surrounding him in too much emotion. Affection...protection...strength. It cracks his walls down and stamps his anger into nothing but cold ashes. The buzzing in his head fades with a crackle and still, peaceful silence comes back. 

“I love you.”

So strong and sturdy in tone. Makes Zack gasp a little.

“I...I’m sorry Zack. That I blocked you out so much. Please, I don’t care if you’re lost. I know who you are. Let me be there to help. You can’t scare me away.”

The stinging comes back to his eyes. Bright and sharp. Cloud gets blurry again. 

“Geez, look at you and your tender speeches,” Zack says. Comes out all watery and weak. 

Out of nowhere. Not very like him but...no. Cloud’s sweet and kind. Warm under his grumpiness and his aloof tendencies. It’s almost exactly like him. Standing in the dark, trembling in pain, and still suffering from...fucking everything. 

Despite it all, he’s looking for Zack. Reaching to help him stay afloat.

It’s just like Cloud completely. 

Pain blooms in their mind link and Cloud hunches with his wince. Uncovered and exposed; Zack sees the wound pulse and spurt out more black inky liquid. Seems like the light but…he could have sworn; Something under Cloud’s skin wiggled. 

“Uh, can you help me still? Kinda stings a lot.” 

His sheepish expression among all the pain in his eyes wins a laugh from Zack. 

Not trusting his voice, Zack just reaches out and pulls Cloud to the sink. The tiny first aid kit in the medicine mirror is already out. New gauze ready for use and alcohol sitting open near the faucet. It won’t heal, but their healing activates again at any touch. Tries to help Cloud. It’s becoming annoying to Zack. What good is it if the wounds push back, reopen worse?

“It’s okay, it does help,” Cloud murmurs. Turns the cold tap water on and the rushing fills both their heads loudly. 

The water only does so much. Seems to wash out the blood more than the thicker black ooze. Cloud’s biting at his lips the longer the water rushes in to clean out the infection. Enough so he can see how deep the punctures are. It’s not good, looks festering and too red and pink. 

The alcohol is going to hurt.

“Mmm, yeah,” Cloud mutters at Zack’s thought, “just...we gotta. Maybe it’ll slow some of the infection.”

The way Cloud talks about it like he’s known it for years. Braces for it when Zack reaches for the bottle. 

It ‘stings’ so bad Zack feels it through their minds. Consumes him for the first few pours he doesn’t even hear Cloud’s loud hisses and grunts in his ear. He can see the ache throbbing in the wounds. It barely does anything. The green glow still tries it’s hardest to ease….anything. 

Nearly half the bottle poured and Cloud’s cheeks are wet with tears. It slows the inky ooze from bubbling out and the redness around the punctures is less harsh. The ache lingers in them both and Zack wraps up his arm tightly. Waits for it to become soaked but after the first round of fabric-no blood or black comes through. He hates that ache, knowing he caused it. Taking the pain from Cloud is supposed to be his job, not adding to it. 

A regular thing. This kind of neverending pain. Zack can’t wrap his head around it. Aerith always goes on about how strong Cloud is in the other timelines. How many of them deal with this at the same time? It leaves a hollowness filling with awe. 

He moves to him, but Cloud beats him to contact. Shoves into his body and wraps his arms around Zack’s waist. 

“Thanks,” his voice is all muffled, “I know it’s hard for you, but...you help the pain more than cause it.”

Zack’s heart thuds and his stomach bursts with a fluttering so strong he feels sick. A cascading amount of affection running through him. Embraces Cloud back tightly, too much so at first, before easing his arms down his smooth back. Resting his hands in the dimples by his spine.

Keeps them there for the rest of the night and when Cloud wakes again as the sunrises, wincing and gasping against his collarbone-Zack can’t shake the helplessness that keeps coming back for him. 

That hollow feeling that he thought he was done with. 

***

It’s a bunch of bullshit. All of it. 

The plate drop, the HIGHWIND mission, and now this…this materia thing. 

He’s sitting in the back of the meeting room; side throbbing and barely keeping the ridiculous ‘what the fuck’ expression in his eyes from showing. Has to duck his head and not glance over at Rude to see if he’s got his amused lip twitch pulling at his mouth. 

It’s not that amusing though. The glint in Rufus’s eyes. Darker and...well Reno’s never said he agreed with half the shit Rufus wants. Or even what Tseng is willing to do for him. 

This though. The dark glint is crazier? It’s gotta be; with the words he’s sprouting. 

The Promised land….

Tseng’s little seed planting after the plate-drop. 

It sets his nerves on edge and kicks a hard pain into his stomach. The plate they dropped…that _he_ dropped. It was bad enough before and Reno never expected to murder so many people. Take out a few threats here and there. But...innocent people and blame it on a rebel group that is just trying too...well- He’s not sure what Avalanche is really trying to do. Just knows it creates a small growing feeling of dread in his stomach; one that he hates. One where he’s starting to think he’s on the wrong side.

A small comfort at least, that Rude seems to be thinking the same. He’s been more solemn and Reno doesn’t miss the dark circles he’s hiding behind his sunglasses. They’ve gotten darker and deeper since the HIGHWIND mission failed. 

Just another horrible thought stuck in their heads. All of it rings with Tseng’s advice to just think of all the death as a “gift” back to the planet. Dues paid. 

Fuck…

Reno shakes his head and tunes back in. Catches the end of Rufus’s slightly menacing speech about...something. Damnit really, he’s got to start paying more attention.

“It’s not a pinpoint area, but close enough. I’ll leave directions with Tseng when I have enough resources ready and a team picked out.” 

Team? To do what-oh no right, the materia. 

“Be ready to go within the week,” Tseng says. Sternly placing his gaze in Reno and Rude’s direction, “we can’t have another failure.”

They both wince, Reno feels it in Rude’s shoulder mere inches from his. Cissnei too, across the table doubles her head down. He’s surprised actually, that they were let off with a disappointed sigh and too much paperwork. 

Maybe only because their new reports say the HIGHWIND has gone missing from the Wutai area. Without it, Avalanche is less of a threat-still a mild thorn in ShinRa’s side but unable to launch that full-scale attack with an airship. 

Rufus seems completely unconcerned with them anyway. Getting more obsessed by the day with these mysterious powerful materia and Sephiroth’s whereabouts. Just another thing Reno’s wary of believing. The infamous dead SOLDIER up and walking around all of a sudden? Sure. Over his burned ass. 

“Dismissed,” Tseng‘s voice is clipped. Tracks Rufus leaving the room and clicks his tongue, “Meeting tomorrow morning in my office, all of you. Someone inform Elena as well.”

The silence is thick around them as Tseng leaves. All three of them waiting until his footsteps have faded completely. 

“I…” Cissnei breaks the quiet, “I can’t believe he’s this delusional. Keeping this materia from Sephiroth sure...but.”

Wanting it for himself. It’s hinted at more than once. A rumored materia, black and deep as the void of space itself. With a power so strong the Cetra locked it away and feared it. Why? If it’s true, what does Rufus want with it? Hasn’t ShinRa done enough to the people of Midgar? To the planet? 

“Whatever,” Reno tsks. He...he can’t think about this anymore. His head is pounding and his hands fucking itch still from the healing burns. The fucking potions did the bare minimum from the fire damage. 

Rude hums next to him, “Can’t do much about it, Cissnei. Boss wants it, we gotta get it.”

She doesn’t like that answer. Frowns and looks away from them. Hides whatever is in her honey-ed eyes. 

“When then?”

“Hmm?” Rude grunts at her. Feigning aloofness, but his full attention is on her.

“When do we decide it’s too much? Don’t we care about who we hurt anymore?” 

It sparks Reno’s rage. Her voice echoing too close to his own thoughts. Ones he’s not allowed to have. They are Turks, they signed up for this bullshit. 

_Not the mass killing though_ , he thinks. Lingers in the dark at the back of his mind. 

“No,” he says. Snips too hard and lets his anger roll out of him, “you getting weak on us, Cissnei? It’s just a few lousy suckers,” few thousand, “Planets probably better off with less anyway.” 

Her annoyed gasp follows him out of the room and spurs his guilt. Thinks of the slums the whole way back down to the Turk’s offices. Of where he grew up and all the neighboring street kids too skinny for their own good. Stuck in an endless cycle of poverty and crime.

Guess he still is doing the crime. Just gets paid good money and a cushy apartment for it now. 

Still makes him one of those suckers too. 

Damnit. He slams the door so hard it shakes the frame. The sound loud in the stillness of his tiny office. Away from the bustle outside and away from…just fucking everyone. 

Reno sighs heavily and sinks down onto his desk. Focuses on the throbbing in his body. Counts in his head slowly-one...two...three…four...fiv- the doorknob rattles and Rude’s tall, sturdy form slips inside quietly. He hovers like he always does. 

Reno grunts. Side-eyes the wall as Rude slips his sunglasses off and steps closer. He knows that look. He’s been getting it too often. Rude’s ‘pity party for Reno’ look.

It’s not fair of him to be so harsh. Not when that look follows with gentle touches and close pressed bodies. Like Rude is doing now. Pulling his gloves off and brushing against the bandage on his cheek. _Fuckin-damnit._

He doesn’t deserve Rude. Not with all his harshness and biting words. 

“Don’t give me that look,” He says. All wrong, he’s always all wrong toned and bitter. But he hates that look. It’s too kind and Rude… _damnit_.

His eyes sting and Rude’s fitted blazer goes blurry. 

“Hurts still?” Rude asks. Ignores his snip completely and curls a warm hand around the side of his neck. Thumbs at the tense tendon under his ear, “wish you’d take another potion.”

Reno huffs; bites hard into his cheek. Not that it helps stop his eyes leaking. That’s what it is, he’s not crying. It’s just...there’s fuckin’ something wrong with his eyes. Rude invades his space completely, a hand sliding across his chest and under the silky collar of his blazer. His chin is tilted slightly and Rude’s pressing his lips lightly against his. Stays pressed against him long enough for Reno to melt into him and lose some of his hard edges. 

He stays close when he breaks away, bumps their noses together.

“She’s not wrong, Reno.”

Of course not. Cissnei’s not wrong, she’s never wrong. All heart and gentle, there’s a reason she stopped doing fieldwork. Reno just hates that he’s stuck in a hard place. Can’t act on his morals any longer and it’s scaring him. Feels like he’s becoming numb to the violence and he can’t undo it. 

“I know…”

Only with Rude can he still grasp onto his dwindling humanity.

“Reno, if there’s a way out...would you take it? With me?” Rude asks him. Softly, like he’s worried someone will overhear.

A way out from ShinRa? “There is no way out.”

“But if there was.”

“I...yeah…” of course he would. He meant it, before in the crashed helicopter. He can’t keep doing this. It’s turning him something rotten and he used to be okay with it. 

Before he dropped a plate on thousands of people just like him. 

Rude hums at him; Cups the back of his head, “then just give me a bit more time.”

‘I’ll find it for you.’ He hears it Rude’s kiss. Doesn’t really believe him, but it still eases some of his desperation to run. 

***

He gets the text early in the day. Short and rushed, all lowercase and blunt. He feels the worry through his phone. Stares too long at the message. 

Cissnei: _mission to get materia. sometime this week. ask aerith-black materia?_

Kunsel’s heard that before. In Wutai, didn’t she say something about it? He shoots off a message back. A quick ‘you okay?’ and slips out into the confusing hallways of the HIGHWIND. They’ve arrived at Costa Del Sol for a whole day already, but no one has wandered off the ship. Cid had a permit issue and the rest...well, maybe everyone is too nervous to leave the safety of the HIGHWIND. 

He wanders the halls for a little while before hearing Aerith’s floaty voice echoing from a room down the hallway. One of the kitchens. She’s pressed close to Tifa and stabbing at a plate full of food when he walks in. A rare relaxed smile on her face, at least for the short time he’s known her. He feels a little bad. He’s about to break it. 

“Hey,” he says; winces after at the sternness, “that black materia- you mentioned it before.” Bluntness. He’s got no time to worry about stressing her. Feels something is wrong with Cissnei, at ShinRa. It’s radiating in his chest. 

Aerith’s smile vanishes and Tifa’s eyes narrow into a glare. She drapes an arm protectively around her like Kunsel’s aiming to hurt them.

“About...Meteor?” 

Right, that’s what she’d called it. Meteor. Whatever it does. He’s hoping it’s not what it sounds like.

“Right, you know where it is? Seen it?”

Her whole body goes still and quiet. A flash of worry and then blank. Resigned like she’s used to seeing horrible things. 

“I…I just know Sephiroth can’t get it and that it’s bad when he does.” 

Crypt. Zack raved about how sweet and fun she was. All Kunsel sees is a quiet, sad shell. That fast explanation from Cloud didn’t help him either. He’s still so out of the loop, picking up on half facts and weird rumors. 

He can’t bother Zack with it. Not with that panic dark look in his eyes. Cloud’s shitty posture and nervous eye glances tell Kunsel he shouldn’t bring too much up in front of him either. 

He’s just got whatever he can pull from Aerith and Cissnei for now. It’s fine, he can deal. He’s not going to make things worse for Zack. He can’t imagine going through the hell he has.

Surprised even that he’s not more broken apart. 

“That’s not good enough. You know more, I can see it in your eyes.”  
  


Tifa’s glare intensifies and she shifts her whole body, trying to shield Aerith from her words.

“It’s okay, Tifa,” Aerith says. Sits up a little straighter, “ I do...it’s all jumbled though and I can’t be sure. The only clear thing-Sephiroth isn’t focused anymore on the black materia, not like before. It’s-there’s a different one he’s looking for. The one we are.”

Great, two powerful materia ShinRa’s most powerful SOLDIER wants. Kunsel’s worry for Cissnei grows. Whatever power Sephiroth wants, Rufus will want it too. If it’s getting bad back at HQ...he can’t leave her there. 

“How far you think Midgar is from here?”

The change in conversation stumps both of them. They glance at each other with cute little confused dips in their brows and frowns on their lips. 

“An hour or two? I dunno, I’ve never left the city.”

Tifa nods though, “two sounds right, with a ship like this. I’d say half-”

“-Half a day otherwise, yeah.”

Right. Then, he’s got no choice. 

He needs to talk to Cid. 

***

The salt air wafts in from everywhere outside. Now that they’ve been halted for nearly two days; it seems to sink into the metal and the wood. So much when Zack steps up onto the flight deck it’s not an assault on his scenes. 

It’s still gritting on his nerves. Can feel the sand in his teeth even though it’s not there. Costa del Sol...just reminds him of Cissnei and the beginning of the downward spiral that’s let him back here. 

Cloud’s already up, pulling on those dumb too big jeans he’s got left over from the slums. Pulls on his thin t-shirt with a nose wrinkle and twists to look at Zack. He laughs, if a bit flat, at the pout pulling on Cloud’s lips. He is drowning in the clothes a bit, even with his sculpted arms. Zack tries not to stare at the thickly wrapped bandage on his left one.

“Come on, you’ll get a new look, don’t pout so much cutie.”

Cloud's nose wrinkles more. Thinks hard in his head ‘I’m not cute’ and mutters under his breath, “Don’t call me cute.” 

Zack laughs more. The flatter tones fade just a bit. Sees the way Cloud’s eyes brighten with worry, so not all the way. Damn. He wants to…not hide from Cloud but he’s Cloud’s rock. His bright sun, he’s not supposed to worry him. 

“Sorry, Cloudy-sky. You are to me.” Zack makes a weak show of grabby hands at him, beckoning him closer. 

Rolling eyes and a soft huff don’t sting him, not with that little shy smile pulling on his lips and the way Cloud sways his hips coming to him. Steps in between Zack’s legs, arms going to his shoulders automatically. The blush on his cheeks a deep pink but he still looks Zack in the eyes for once. Plays with the smaller strains of hair at the back of his neck. 

“Sure you don’t wanna go?”

He does. Reluctantly, the salty air and the distant sound of the waves stirs something in him that freezes over. Wants him to linger back and stay somewhere it can’t get him. Whatever _it_ is. 

Probably the clashes of everything falling apart and the realness of what ShinRa has unleashed onto the world. Onto _them_. That he’s a part of it. It’s an odd feeling he’s not used too. Holding back through unrest and agitation too close to fear. 

Again. The fear comes for him without him seeing it until it’s almost consumed him. 

“Uh,” Zack says. Later then he intended. Stares at the faded freckles just under Cloud’s right eye. 

Somehow, Cloud softens even more. Eyelids drooping and his lips filling out.

“It’s fine, Zack. I don’t wanna spend all day shopping with Tifa. I’ll be back soon.” He sounds put out but Zack knows he’s been itching to get off the HIGHWIND. Find more comfortable clothes for fighting in. 

Cloud leans in and head bumps him with a smile and a little laugh. Memories echo of every time Zack does the same to him bouncing in their heads. Follows up with a swelling of affection that doesn’t help Zack’s barely contained grip over his emotions. A gentle brush with his lips, Cloud nips at his bottom one to bring him more into reality. 

“Zack,” Cloud’s voice is so low and soft it’s almost a whisper. He’s been speaking this way at Zack so much lately. Ever since....since Nibelheim, “Remember when I asked why you never used to use your buster sword?”

Zack huffs with laughter, “yeah.”

“You told me it’s more a symbol for honor and strength, that you shouldn’t need to use it.”

Not anymore. Now it’s getting rusted and nicked and dulled. Using it _too_ much. The nagging feeling of Angeal frowning down at him starts to prickle at his neck. Even Cloud’s fingertips rubbing into his tense neck muscles can’t chase it away. 

“You’re wrong. About the buster. It’s still just as useful...as beautiful,” Cloud says. Must have felt Zack’s thoughts too strongly. A quiet wisdom and strong heartening tone in his voice Zack doesn’t hear often, “Sure, it’s a little banged up, but look how often it’s saved you. Helped you,” He presses in closer. His body teasingly centimeters from his; Zack’s knee trapped between his legs and reaches out to trace over his jaw scar, “Scratches don’t make it broken. Just needs a bit of work-it’s still the same underneath.”

Fuckin-he can barely see Cloud through the tears gathering in his eyes. How does he find the right thing to say? Half the time he’s bashfully running from any words at all. It hits Zack low and out of nowhere. Fights with the dark bubble in his mind that threatens to gain control. He can’t trust his own hands anymore and he’s never felt more lost. 

He misses the sky. Misses the wind and his once ease of-whatever he had. Freedom? Carefree? Maybe. Looking back he’s starting to think he was just naive. 

Zack pulls Cloud the rest of the way to him tightly. Buries his face into his collarbone and breathes him in. He doesn’t know what to say. Doesn’t even know what to think. He can only fall into the tender warmth Cloud is pushing at him and holds on tight to his trim body as he just falls apart completely. Already he feels the cracks melding the longer he squeezes Cloud tight. Feels a cooling sensation but sees no green glow; their healing almost reaching into his mind the closer Cloud is. 

His doubts will flood back the moment Cloud goes too far. So Zack takes in his gentle breaths and gets lost in the mellow pull as Cloud’s fingers thread through his hair over and over. 

Tries to turn the repeating failure he feels into a stream of ‘I’m fine.’ That the shake in Cloud’s arm isn’t something he could have stopped. Ignores the still glaring image of his locked knuckles and joints as he squeezed Cloud’s neck. 

_He’s fine._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So....I know not much fun stuff, just some Turks and plot. BUT, I will try and not get sucked into my other fics for too long from here on out. I JUST LOOK IT'S FINALLY FALL AND THE COLLEGE FEELS GET ME. 
> 
> Anyway-thanks for sticking with me! Don't worry, HOA still my main hoe. See ya guys next time!
> 
> Thanks for Reading!  
> PS; Chapters will be a bit shorter so I can keep up-but that just means more chapters for you guys. AS ALWAYS-Thanks for being so awesome everyone!


	24. Nothing Fucks With My Baby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some healing for our 1st class Soldier boi-  
> *WARNINGS*  
> Slight Gore

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hellos! Another chapter yes? College and Turks has not managed to pull me away again. Yet. XD
> 
> Happy Reading!

Zack’s dim eyes and frown lines are hard to leave. It’s only for a few hours and Cloud can’t stand staring at the old metal walls on the HIGHWIND much longer. He needs to clear the last of the nightmare from Nibelheim out of his head. Part of it lingering within the sounds and the smell of the ship. It’s keeping him in a constant state of growing anxiety. 

His arm twitches. Pulses hard. Trying to keep focus from the stinging slithering in his wrist is more difficult when he can’t get out of his head all the way. 

And when he knows that wiggling in his veins is really happening. 

Another pang of guilt slaps him as Zack's tired eyes watch him slip out the door and into the louder humming of the hallway. He’s careful not to hide anything in their connection and keep his more negative emotions from leaking too much. Zack’s been overly patient with Cloud. Worry that he’s taken far too much of Zack fills his chest. Took him a horrible JENOVA nightmare to really push him into seeing. Zack can’t stand all on his own. Near the breaking point, if he hasn’t already. 

Cloud had thought he was doing better. Thought letting Zack in would fix the darkness growing in his eyes. It’s more than just the ache of wanting to help Cloud. Selfishly, Cloud had hoped that was it and that Zack didn’t have his own set of trauma brewing.

How could he escape without it? All the shit that’s been done to them.

A harsh rush of breath through his lungs and he stalks off down the hallway. Seriously needs to get off the HIGHWIND. Heading up the small flight of stairs into the fresh salty air only hinders his annoyance with himself a little. Other than his ridiculous constant physical touch, Cloud doesn’t know what to do for Zack. He’s not sure getting frisky is really helping Zack all that much anymore. Just distracting him. 

If he is Zack’s…person (ignoring the burning heat flaring to his face) then isn’t he supposed to know how to help him better? 

A tiny tone of distress reaches the back of his mind. It’s not his own, he’s felt a sincere calm since locking away Sephiroth’s wavering hold on his mind. Zack then. Feeling a tad useless to him, Cloud tries to surround the ever lingering presence of Zack’s with as much affection as he can. 

Never feels enough but the tone fades away and Cloud’s mind is more at ease. 

Tifa and Aerith’s light laughter floats in the breezy air and brings him to the far port side of the HIGHWIND. Seems like he hasn’t seen them in weeks. Their voices are more clear than normal. Look older too. 

Or maybe Cloud’s been so fogged by Sephiroth’s presence he hasn’t even noticed what’s truly been around him. The thought scares him a little and his hand twitches again. Sparks another sharp pain up his forearm. Shouldn’t he be more....bothered by the pain? Instead, he almost welcomes it in an odd- _ this has been my life before _ -way. It only strengthens his positivity that this JENOVA infection has happened in other timelines. He’d told Zack it’s not really important now, to grill Aerith on it. It’s happened and it’s clearly not going away. 

Besides, the sadness coming back in her bright green eyes really does tell him enough; she stares at his arm as he walks up to them. He doesn’t need to ask her. It’s in her gazes and worried lip bites. Her always trailing behind him slowly and her reluctance to hang around him without someone else. 

He knows those behaviors. Guilt. 

“Hey, Cloud.” Even her tone goes down and quiet. 

Tifa snorts at him; smile teasing and light. At least she’s still the same. More of a rock to him then he really noticed. An appreciation for her swells and settles.

“Wow, look at you, being all normal,” Tifa says. She wants to say something else but leaves it in the breeze. 

He rolls his eyes and lets her tug him into her side and ruffle his hair.

“Doesn’t he look all cute without his tough-guy armor on?” Tifa asks Aerith. Poking at his cheek. 

“ _ Okay _ ,” it’s still the same with her, “I get it. Let’s go so I don’t have to listen to you for that long.”

Even when he’s stressed and tired and just wants to go back to Zack. Cloud can’t find himself falling into irritation with Tifa’s teasing. Too familiar and she really is the only thing left of Nibelheim he has. Of the good anyway. It helps just hearing her. Her voice chasing away the ruined buildings stuck in his mind. Her smile and gentle touch bring back the forest and the grass-before that reactor sucked away near everything in town. 

He smiles shyly at her to make up for his snapping. Follows them down the ladder and onto the wide-open grass field the ship is parked in. The town is just down the path and around a sharp curve. Half visible from their location. It feels good to hear the ocean waves crashing get louder as they walk. When they start to run into clusters of people, Tifa and Aerith both take their places at his side. Linking his elbows with theirs and bumping hips with him. 

He’s not sure why they always do this. Crowd him in between them and whisk him the way they want to go. He doesn’t mind it so much in new places, but when Zack’s with him-well. He’d rather it be Zack’s arm draped over his shoulder. 

The sun is heating their skin already, barely high in the blue sky. Cloud’s thankful for the constant breeze tickling Tifa’s hair against his arm. The mako in his blood makes him run hot enough. He doesn’t really want to feel extra heat under all the extra fabric he’s got on. 

Costa del Sol is larger than he imagined. Butting right up to the shoreline with a massive looming resort and a shopping strip down by the dock area. A surf shop and beach ‘necessities’ hut right at the entrance of town from the fields where the HIGHWIND is parked. Behind the bustling vacation area, a more subdued town lays in the shadow of the grandness of beach life. 

“O-o, Cloud, we should definitely get you some sunblock. You’ll burn in seconds in this heat.”

He flushes and leans more towards Tifa to stop Aerith from pulling them into the tiny shopping hut. No-he does not need sunblock. He’s not lingering out in the heat all day. Find clothes that will be comfortable under his SOLDIER armor and then he’s curling back into bed with Zack. He was totally wrong. He doesn’t need a change of scenery. Already tired of people rushing by and the beating sun. The echoing of seagulls overhead and the wafting of too much…ocean is overbearing. Changes in an instant; he’d prefer Zack’s loud laugh and bright eyes reflecting the sun at him. Without it...

“No I won’t,” he says; just to get the topic away from  _ him. _

Tifa laughs short and loud, “oh you  _ will _ . But I don’t think we’ll be out here long enough today.”

Wait.

“Today?”

“Mmhmm,” Aerith skips a step to re-align with his, “yeah we’re staying for a few days.”

A few days. No...they can’t. Not only do they  _ not _ have time to be beach bums but-

“Zack doesn’t...ugh, he’s off here,” Cloud’s not sure what it is. But something about the salty air and the crashing waves is bothering him. He won’t even go up on the flight deck and it’s been driving Cloud insane. 

More cause he wants to know why so he can just  _ help _ him. Why is that so hard for Zack to just tell h-son of…

“Damnit,” he mutters under his breath. Ignores the girls confused head titles and just keeps walking down the pier. Nothing like irony slapping him in the face. Just another shitty thing he’s done to Zack. He really should have realized earlier; the selfish kick he’s been gaining back along with his sanity. 

“Okay, let’s ease up on the pity party going on in there, huh?” Tifa says, “you can’t fix everything. Zack needs a break. So do you. We’re  _ staying, _ for a little while.”

He doesn’t really wanna keep thinking about how uncomfortable Zack seems here or bickering about it so he bites the side of his cheek and lets the girls pull him into the first shop on their right. 

It’s a fucking nightmare after that. He just wants something similar to the SOLDIER uniform so he can move easily and not get overheated. But Aerith giggles at everything and hops away to come back with arms full of beach clothing. Drags them over to fitting rooms. Tifa loses her ‘sorry, just indulge her’ look real fast at the increasingly showy clothes Aerith tries on. Sympathy completely gone when she swings out in a tiny red bikini.

Cloud lingers in the back and thinks this must be how he and Zack are.

Fucking annoying. 

The next shop is the same. Hot and stuffy and too many ppl laughing and Aerith disappearing into racks of clothes. 

Cloud only needs to take one glance at the men’s section, wrinkle his nose, and knows there’s nothing there for him.

Everything is too bright. 

It’s an unfortunate pattern he is doomed to repeat. They dip in and out of the shops for nearly two hours. Aerith with a large bag over her shoulder and humming happily. Her and Tifa have left him to trail after their swinging arms and quick steps. They are way too excited about this. He’s drawing the line at carrying their bags. He’ll just spin around and leave them out here. 

“Hey Thunder Cloud,” Aerith calls over the few groups of people that have separated them, “I think maybe this one might be for you.”

He tolerates the nickname for now. Only to keep the easy smile on Aerith's face. He hasn’t seen it since he first met her. 

The shop is down a small alleyway and tucked away next to a weapon and materia place. No beachy decor or stupid bright colors begging for customers to come in. Everything is lined neatly and faded wood frames the slim doorway. 

It’s a nice refreshing sea of neutral colors and darker washes and the salty air doesn’t smell as strong as the door closes behind them. The air is cool and Cloud feels his whole body relax. 

“Oh,” Tifa says quietly, gently touches his arm, “this will be pretty fast huh? Maybe we should get Zack some swim trunks too.”

He huffs and splits off into the men's section. Hears them giggling at something (probably him) as he disappears into the store. 

Tifa’s right, it doesn’t take him long. Finds a rack of fitted turtlenecks with the thicker ribbed texture and cotton blend black pants that aren’t as loose and freeing as the SOLDIER standard trousers, but it’s not denim. And there are lots of pockets for him to shove potions into. He grabs his size and spins around right into Tifa and Aerith grinning at him with arms full of clothing.

“You gotta try it on first. How do you know it fits?” Aerith wiggles her body to adjust the mountain of fabric she has in her arms.

“It’s the right size.” He looks at it, the little ‘s’ mocking him. 

Tifa rolls her eyes and grabs his bicep, “too bad anyway. We’re not doing this again. I’m guessing acidy-black goo is in our near future for a while and we might not be stopping somewhere to pick you up new clothes.”

She’s not wrong and Cloud hates it. Sighs and rolls his eyes. Lets them guide him to the back for a fitting room. 

It’s horrible. Actually horrible. They’ve both picked out way too many things for him to try and hover in front of the curtain until he does. When he skips one, Aerith pouts at him and swings back and forth with fake sad eyes that completely  _ do not _ win him over. 

Nope

Not even a tiny bit. 

Shit…

It ends up taking a painfully long hour of him yanking shirts over his shoulders and shimming in and out of pants (a fucking dress-Aerith no-just no). At the end of his huffing and oddly tired body, he only takes two pants and zip turtlenecks-like he wanted to in the beginning. 

“Oh no, you’re getting more than that,” Tifa says as he flings open the curtains. Completely ignores the narrowing of his eyes and pushes around him to pick through the pile he’s tossed aside. 

She takes nearly half of them and folds them neatly with the tags up so they can ring fast. 

“Tifa, I-”

“-Nope, I’m not having nothing to dress you in again. Plus, we are staying here for a few days, you need more.”

Aerith has another pile that looks suspiciously large, probably for Zack, with a wide grin on her face.

“Besides, you don't’ wanna wear your armor the whole time we are here do you?”

Cloud frowns even more, “the whole time?”

“Yep,” Aerith takes the pile from Tifa and his own little stack and goes to the pay counter, “we’re gonna go get some rooms. Wanna go back and drag Zack off the ship?”

They can just sleep on the HIGHWIND for free, but whatever. The looks they are giving him tell him he's got no choice. A victim to their whims and sharing laughter. 

He leaves them with his purchases, seeing as the HIGHWIND isn’t going to be their home for a little bit. Halfway back alone the pull of doubt comes. Zack’s been holed up tight in their room and when Cloud does manage to drag him out, he’s all shifty eyes and disinterest in anything other than Cloud himself. 

Even that has lost the intensity Zack carries. Too gentle and pulls away too quickly. Cloud’s never realized how much Zack is all over him until he’s not feeling the line of his body against his. His hand tangling in his own. His chest leaning against Cloud’s back as Zack wraps him up in his arms. 

He longs for it again. Without Tifa and Aerith weighing down his arms, the walk back is faster and he’s climbing the ladder back up the HIGHWIND once again. The sun high in the sky and the salty air fainter. Cloud will admit it’s nice. Feels good on his skin and makes the darkness following them seem dimmer. Farther away like Sephiroth can’t touch them here. 

He wants that for Zack too. Maybe he can weasel it out of him, why Costa Del Sol sends him spiraling down. All he knew before Nibelheim was that Zack was sent for ‘vacation’ time out here. 

Too much on his shoulders maybe? He’d been extremely stressed back then. Everyone saw it. The other cadets would murmur about him tethering on breaking point. That he’d break the training rooms too often and snap too fast at anyone not in SOLDIER rank. Cloud never got any of it. He’d see Zack’s furrowed brows walking up to him but they would always dissolve into a relaxed smile and bright ‘heya, Cloud.’

He wishes too, that more memories of his coma would come back. But it’s still mostly blank. Just Zack’s voice among blurry starry skies and the end...at the cliff. 

Cloud swallows thickly and shoves down the pang in his chest. Zack needs him. It all feels so far away anyway. Even Sephiroth’s ability to leak into his mind seems months ago.

In reality, months ago Cloud was still knocked out cold getting dragged around by Zack. 

“That short a time…?” Cloud wonders aloud, opens their door, and stares at Zack’s curled body on their bed. 

Maybe when the adrenaline really does finally taper off and somehow they can be safe again, maybe then will everything really crash down around them. For now. Cloud knows he’s mentally healed  _ enough _ to take some of the weight from Zack’s shoulders. 

Finally...it’s a feeling settling in him too often. Cloud wants it to be the last time but knows it’s not. He’s quiet, sliding his shoes off and pads over to Zack with no sound but the swishing of his oddly fitting clothes. A whimper from Zack seems all that much louder; wretches at Cloud’s heart. Zack’s vulnerable in other ways but hearing him and seeing him crumble under emotional pain is far more distressing than any wound Cloud has witnessed. 

Zack’s strength is happiness and unbreaking will. As upsetting as it is to see it cracking, Cloud feels an odd sense of affection for him; knowing Zack feels safe enough with him to show him the damage taking place. Even when he’s trying to be strong for Cloud, trusting him among his stubbornness, for Cloud to see the shattering and catch him. Being at this spot between them feels better than the constant touching Zack needs to help stabilize his mindset. Not that Cloud will deny him it. He’s not embarrassed anymore about his own attraction to Zack. Not really, not when Zack’s never waved or that his eyes always seem to drink in Cloud’s body. 

The heat flushing to his face still pokes at that thought. Laughs at it like Cloud will ever be able to stop his shyness. Alright, maybe not gone but he’s come to realize he doesn’t need to hide his own wants. 

Cloud crawls onto the bed, shaking away his quickly lusting thoughts. Zack will feel them and wake-take the chance and lose himself in Cloud again and that’s not what Cloud wants to give him right now. His whimpers and jerks give away whatever is swimming around in his head; a nightmare Cloud can feel brimming in their subconscious. 

Carefully, with gentle hands, Cloud traces the curve of Zack’s shoulder and bicep. Rests his weight back on his calves and breathes slow. Wanting to help but not wanting to draw Zack from his need to rest sparks a small thought. He’s never actively tried to go into Zack’s mind, not while awake. 

Every time it’s Zack pushing past Cloud’s walls. 

Closing his eyes, Cloud focuses on Zack’s warm skin under his fingers. Reaches down to rest his palm against his rising chest. Feels the dull beating of his heart and takes in the steady rhythm of his lungs. If Cloud can just match- _ there _ .

Flooding with warmth and tasting mint (he gags just the smallest amount) Cloud lets the pull on his consciousness drag him back. Almost like he’s getting tugged up into the sky. Everything spins for a second, even in the deep red behind his eyes. His whole body tingles; fights the shift and he’s in an odd stinging limbo for less then a second. 

White. 

It’s all white in the space they share. More often than not, they skip right through but Zack’s unaware of Cloud trying to sneak in. He wants to be gentle and not cause any harm, so the middle ground they could only get to in the beginning. 

Echoing footsteps fills his ears even though he’s barely putting his weight down. Continues on forward without an idea of what direction. Just that crackling campfire sound and the warmth blossoming in his chest. The one only Zack gives him, with a musky scent of sandalwood and something else- newer. Sharp like the lightning running in Cloud’s blood. 

Following it brings a strong heartbeat thumping in time with his. Stronger with each step and the echoes fade. Until…

A sun starts to rise, across an invisible horizon line, and blinds Cloud in his steps. 

So minty. 

Pushing through the nausea is easier than it's been in the past. 

He feels too good all at once. 

Zack’s heartbeat…

Louder 

And louder…

He forgets what he is.

“Cloud, I’m sorry.” 

….  __

He’s expecting the endless view of the sky but when he finds his way through the eerie misty white of the in-between of their connection, Cloud is met with a dark, vine-covered forest. He’s in a tall grass field; a few steps away. Deep soft whispering comes from the trees. Seems to spread out into the grass and swirl around his ankles. 

It’s warm. 

Behind him, a shallow slope leading far, far down into a valley of golden red rock and deep earthy dirt. Breathing in; the air is thick and heavy. He knows it’s just in his mind but it still makes his lungs stutter for a second; adjusting to the humidity. 

“Cloud!” A very young voice shouts at him. From the right of the sloop, where it’s steepest and curves sharply up at him. Turning his back to the forest doesn’t give him any sight to who called him. 

Logically, he knows. It has to be Zack. It’s just him and Zack running around in their combined minds. Doesn’t ease the shock running through him as he spins one more time and stumbles back from a hard, small body slamming into him.

“Cloud! Wow, how did you get up here? It’s so far from home.” 

Dark hair tickles his neck and smaller arms wrap tightly around his waist. Vibrating with intensity and squeezes Cloud one last time before jumping back with a huge smile on his face. He’s so little, young. Not actually that small. Already he’s at Cloud’s shoulder. The high tones in his voice tell him Zack’s a few years from a pre-teen still. For some reason, it makes Cloud sad.

“Hey, buddy,” He says after a beat. Realizes Zack is staring at him with wide eyes, waiting. 

“Did you come up here to see the forest?” Zack asks him, jumps a little on his heels. Blush crossing his little face, “I know you like the trees.”

It’s abundantly clear that Zack is crushing on him. Gets that weird little kid shy and pushes through it with excited confidence. It helps Cloud move past the mellow taste in his mouth. He smiles softly at Zack, reaches out and ruffles his chaotic hair. 

“Yeah, it’s pretty up here.”

“Mmm,” Zack hums, “I’m not allowed up here alone. You shouldn’t be either.”

That makes him laugh. The small determined frown narrowing Zack’s face does too. Cute. 

“No? Where should I be then?” Cloud asks, settling his weight onto one of his hips.

Zack rolls his eyes so hard his entire body shifts to the side with them. Heaves the biggest sigh and grabs at Cloud’s wrist.

“In town with me, duh. Come on, you said you would show me how to spar.”

Did he? Cloud laughs again. Must have been a dream Zack had or his memories projecting. Still is pretty cute and he lets Zack drag him to the edge of the slope. 

The whispering behind him, in the trees and the vines, gets louder. Wind picks up from deep in the dark and rushes out at them. Blows over the grass and catches all in Cloud’s hair. Pulls the whispers to him and roots his feet to the ground. 

“Wait,” Cloud’s smile slowly falls. The whispering is deep and echos in his chest. It’s calling for him, “I’m sorry, I can’t right now.”

That’s right. There’s something he’s gotta do first. 

Kid Zack seems unphased. Drops his wrist and turns to fully pout at him, “what, why no-t. Cloud,” he crosses his arms angrily, “you said you would. You promised.” 

A loud humming follows the whispers now. Both twisting around each other and growing from the shadows of the forest. Cloud’s breath sucks into the wind, leaves him, and he turns to stare into the creaking branches; the fluttering leaves. He has to go there. Whatever is calling him needs his help. 

“Sorry, Zack,” Cloud mumbles. Takes a step toward the treeline. The pulling in his lungs eases the moment he does. Right, he’s going in the right direction then. 

“No!” A few more steps and Zack’s small weight is colliding into his back. His arms tight around his waist again. The vibration in him seems more intense. Cloud glances down, Zack’s arms are trembling against his stomach. 

“Zack…” gently, he touches Zack’s thin arms, “I’m sorry, I have to.”

“No! You don’t, it’s not safe, please,” Zack’s rubbing his face into his back, a desperation in his movements, “please don’t leave me….”

Shit, that’s not fair. Such a small scared voice. Cloud’ never heard Zack like that. 

“Why don’t you come with me?” He asks. Twists a little so he can glance at Zack behind him.

“I-I’m not supposed to go into the forest. It’s dangerous.”

“Then...we can protect each other.”

Slowly, Zack’s little hands slide over his shirt and pull away. Drops to his hips and curls into tight fists. His arms are still shaking but the light in his eyes hardens. Zack nods at him.

“Okay, I’ll protect you.”

It should be cute and a little funny, the set determination on rounded out kid features. Instead, that sadness comes rushing back to Cloud. Of course, Zack will protect him. He’s been doing it for years and he’s tired. Cloud can see it in the real waking hours. His eyes, in the lean of his body. Cloud is becoming a burden on him. Obsessively worried about his mental state, his physical state. Cloud can’t let him go on like this any longer. Should have stepped up sooner. Zack is just as broken as he is. Now that Cloud’s finally out of his own fog, he needs to help Zack pick up the pieces too. As he did for him. 

“Okay, come on. You know these woods?” Cloud lets Zack stomp in front of him. Keeps close and watches the trembling in his little shoulders. He’s scared. 

“Sometimes...I sneak out and play in them. Mom got too mad last time, so I haven’t in a while.”

“You’re not alone this time.”

They pass under the first row of trees and the air just gets thicker inside the forest. It’s almost jungle-like, with vines and ferns all over. Lush and green. The whispering quiets down to a near unhearable tone. It’s happy that Cloud is coming closer. The tone widens and spreads along the forest floor. Warms up and parts with every step Cloud takes. Almost an invisible path opening in his wake. 

Zack’s kid version gets more shaken the deeper they go. It’s understandable, the forest is dark and odd sounds echo off the trunks. It’s an endless mess of plants and shadows.

The longer they walk the darker it gets too. 

Hotter. 

Their path gets bogged down and Cloud has to start slicing up vines to move at a semi-normal pace. Zack lingers next to him, only stepping back so Cloud can slash without hitting him, but then he’s right back in front of Cloud. Glancing every which way and too on edge. 

“I think we’re safe in here, Zack.”

“No, it’s dangerous. I’m not supposed to be here.”

Cloud catches the non-use of his name. Why would it be dangerous for Zack in his own head?

They slowly make their way. Only led by Cloud’s ears and the ever-changing whispering that wafts around them. It gets louder again and deeper if he takes too many steps ‘off path’. Feels like it anyway. Eventually, a small clearing appears in their eyesight. It’s cut out haphazardly from the treeline and a tiny pond sits dead center. The whispering grows, slowly until it’s a fast, quick shout that leaves Cloud’s ears ringing in silence and it’s echo.

There’s nothing but the pound and the grass in the clearing. Without the whispers, the pull to move forward isn’t as strong. Yet there is still something. 

“Please,” Zack stops him just as he puts one foot out into the sunlight, “don’t go. I can’t follow you.”

What? “You can, it’s okay Zack. I won’t let you get hurt.” 

That look he gives him. Breaks Cloud’s skin out in shivers. He’s so scared and Cloud’s not sure how to ease it. He’s still got no choice, he needs to keep moving. Find the Zack that’s in distress. He can’t stand waking in the night and seeing lingering tear tacks on Zack’s face. Or the utter defeated look Cloud catches Zack giving him when he’s not looking. 

It’s gotta end. He can’t have Zack pretending. They-together- might be fine, but he’s not. It hurts too much to see. 

Stepping into the sunlight does the opposite of the forest. It cools him down-oddly taking away the humidity and the thick heaviness in his lungs. He turns and holds out his hand for Zack. 

Waits...

And waits...

Zack is shaking even worse. As he reaches out, his tanned small hand appearing in the sunlight, he shouts. Pained and quick and then all of his skin cracks; shatters up his arm and Cloud doesn’t even have any time to react. 

Gone.

Turned into dust from the sun and whisked away in the little breeze and the silence. 

The whispering starts again. Fills the surprised hollow section in Cloud’s chest. He keeps his hand outstretched for a few more seconds like Zack will reappear and take it. 

Dropping it to his waist feels like a defeat and he turns back to the pond with even more sadness crashing down around him. Feeling completely alone, Cloud steps up to the edge of the water. 

It’s black. Dark water without any sun reflections. Matte and deep and calling to him. It can’t be right. The whispers want him to go this way. Into the water…

His left arm twitches. Throbs hard and the whispers bustle around him at it. They don’t like the JENOVA cells thriving in his wounds. 

A little bit of fear echoing from kid Zack lingers over Cloud but he takes the slow move forward despite it. The water is cold, very cold. Icy and sets his blood pumping quickly. Heart racing and the next step the pond suddenly expands. Bubbles up and out and becomes so deep under him he’s plunged into the freezing depths. He’s under just long enough to worry about his next breath of air when the rushing loud sound of... _ something _ is muffled all around him. 

A strong arm thrusts into the water and grabs at his collar. Yanks him upward. He's pulled from the darkness and the cold. 

It’s nighttime. 

The forest is gone and the sky above him is grey and rain is pouring into his eyes as he tries to blink the droplets away. The muffled sounds rush more and pops his ears. Overhead, two low flying helicopters zoom over him and ShinRa HQ appears out of nowhere. Looms over him, dark and green and the city of Midgar shines below his feet. 

“Hey-O, Spikes, you in there?”

A pair of tough knuckles knock gently on the side of his skull. Zack’s bright smile swims in front of him again. Older this time, but still not his Zack. There’s no scar on his jaw. Hair shorter and falling all in his now glowing mako eyes. 

“Zack, yes. Hey.”

“Woah, no sir? Damn bud, it’s nice to hear you relaxin’ a bit.”

What? Oh. Right. Cloud flushes, remembering how desperate he was to look good in any of the first SOLDIER’s eyes. He’d been so…formal with Zack in the beginning. 

Around them, troopers rush about and a few third-class shove around the large groups of people. A chopper just behind Zack is starting up, the door sliding open.

“Didn’t know you were assigned to this mission,” Zack says. Lays a strong hand on Cloud’s shoulder, “it’s good to know someone I can trust is coming with.”

Cloud nods. It’s the way the whispers want. A bundle of tones hovering. Growing with the louder and louder hum of the helicopter. 

“Of course. I always have your back,” Cloud says. He’s not sure if he’s supposed to be playing his age here. With kid Zack it didn’t seem to matter. He never met him that young.

Here, this Zack. Newly-promoted first-class, beaming bright-eyed ShinRa Zack-this Zack seems to think of him as before.

Before Nibelheim. 

“Always...huh?” Zack’s eyes pulse in the night. Rain starts to stick his dark hair to his head in clumps. He chews at the corner of his lip for a second in thought. Presses his thumb harder into the dip of Cloud’s collarbone.

“Yeah.”

“Damn, Cloud. I...thanks.”

Cloud smiles for him. Like he used to. Makes his cheeks hurt. Seems to click something together in Zack’s mind and the whispering gets louder. Slower though. More calm and not as desperate. Encouraging even. 

“Hey,” Zack’s voice gets quiet. Mingles in the rain and the once comforting sounds of mission prep. He steps close, looms over Cloud, and stares at the top of his right cheekbone. His hand twitches on Cloud’s shoulder like he wants to caress the spot he’s staring at. 

All sound fades and it’s just the two of them. Their longing gazes and deep breathing. So many times Cloud wanted to push forward and kiss him. Back then he’d been too star-struck and self-loathing to do anything but blush and stumble away. But this isn’t even another chance. This is just Zack’s mind doing...who knows what. 

So he takes that push. Steps the half step closer and rises up on his toes to press his lips against Zack’s. A surprised ‘hmph!’ comes from him, but it melts so quickly into a moan Cloud knows so well. The deep one that tells Cloud Zack has been thinking about kissing him and finally gets relief from it. Cloud smiles against Zack’s rain-wet lips. Pulls back with a slow smack and can’t stop the dreamy look he gives him. 

A deep staring contest vibrates around them. Thick heavy lids with foggy lust and Zack’s unconsciously pressing his thumb even harder into Cloud’s collarbone. 

“A-hmp,” Zack clears his throat, “uh. Yeah...mission, um.”

Cloud breaks their hungry gaze. Laughs brightly into the rain. He taps a few times at Zack’s chest and sways around him towards the chopper and the whispers (they are so happy now. Warm and middle-tone singing) knowing Zack’s watching him walk. 

“Let's go SOLDIER,” Cloud calls over his shoulder with a smirk. Snickers at the tiny ‘ah’ Zack says to himself and bounds after him. 

The chopper takes them somewhere Cloud doesn’t know. Drops them off in a wide, wide-open field with an unfamiliar mountain range far in the distance. Other than that; just the endless sky. Closer then. Doesn’t need the whispers humming at him to know. 

“Ah man,” Zack says as they watch the chopper float up and immediately disappear. Odd how things in the mind don’t seem weird, “look at all that sky. Wish it looked like this at Midgar.”

“It never will,” Cloud says. A part of him is mad. Why this Zack? Why when he was excited to be SOLDIER and had no knowledge of the monsters lurking in ShinRa’s shadows. Does Zack want to go back to that? Is it better...to not know and stay in the dark?

He feels Zack’s pout and rolls his eyes.

The whispers are, he pauses and listens-to his right, somewhere over a slope. Again. 

Zack’s got the same thing going on in too many places. Not that Cloud can really judge. He’s always stuck in fucking Nibelheim. 

Zack follows him with wide strides, easily catching up as they pant their way up the grassy hill. He hip checks Cloud every other step. Smile brighter than the sun and laughs to himself when Cloud catches his eye. 

It’s refreshing to see that this side of Zack is still somewhere in his head. Maybe that’s why it’s ShinRa Zack. His own must be longing for normalcy. 

Over the ridge of the slope the wind picks up. Not a cold breeze, but strong and the slightest chill comes with it. Smells like rain in the air. On the horizon; looming over the distant mountains is a mass of dark clouds rolling in. 

“Storms coming,” Zack says. 

If that’s not been Cloud’s entire life since he woke up from that mako comma. He wrinkles his nose and swallows. Tastes faintly of mint when he thinks about it too much. With the burst of it on his tongue his left arm jerks and somewhere in the back of his own mind he hears Zack whooping enthusiastically. 

At least he’s not bored hanging around in that stupid reactor. 

“It’s far off,” Cloud says to this Zack. ShinRa Zack. He still wants to be mad, but that dumb grin on his face is hard to ignore, “come on, I think I hear something this way.”

Yeah, the whispers that seem to be absent to Zack, no matter what version of him it is. Cloud waves him over. Keeps his pace slow so Zack can jog up to him and drape his warm arm over his shoulders.

“Fucking, look at you, being a leader.”

“Zack, it’s just you and me.”

“Yeah and you’re never this bossy, what gives huh? You a different person than I know?”

He is…

“Maybe you’re slacking, country boy,” Cloud says. Hears Zack calling him that all those years ago. It echos and burns deep. 

Zack sputters at him, tugs him into yet another hip check. Keeps him at his side with a huff of laughter and dropping his arm even lower around Cloud’s neck. He’s so close he’s off-balance so Cloud loosely puts his arm around Zack’s waist to keep from half tripping on the grass. 

Like the pond; out of nowhere, a dark, smokey mass appears in the distance. The whispers grow restless and multiply. Some chattering so high and fast Cloud can barely recognize them as human. Others are too low and slow. But there….

In the wind- a clear voice he loves. Full of pain and fear. 

Zack. 

“ _ Go away. _ ” 

His tone still calls for him, even if his words are warning. It’s the loathing Cloud picks out. He knows it too well and his whole body goes cold. He feels sick that Zack is feeling such a horrible ache. More intense in his head. Everything is. 

The younger Zack at his side tenses. Steps away from him and draws the buster sword from his back.

“The hell is that?” He mutters. Glances once at Cloud and steps in front of him. 

There’s no need. Cloud knows what that dark mass is. It’s anger and pain and exhaustion.

It’s his Zack. 

“It’s okay, Zack. He won’t hurt us.”

It’s a shot. A trigger. The mass they’ve crept up on shakes violently and oddly. Black foggy wisps of smoke shake apart and twist into the air. The whispers are consumed and there’s only deep, throaty anger left behind. That storm coming picks up. The wind gets harsher and Cloud hears static in their mind link. 

“Fuck, _ the hell _ . Yeah, sorry Cloudy-Sky,” Cloud’s heart thuds, “I think you’re wrong. Looks pretty pissed to me.”

He can’t even recognize his own self. Despite the sudden rushing rage of mass at them, Cloud remains calm. Let’s ShinRa Zack step in front of him and just...he just stands in the wind and lets the storm coming comfort him. 

The mass of darkness and rage is flashing with red lightning. Spitting out sparks and launches at Zack in a none still shape. It’s violent and fast. Strikes at Zack and flutters around Cloud. Thinking about attacking him too before lashing out again at Zack. 

Odd. He wants Cloud to leave but he’s not attacking him? Just….

Just himself. 

Oh...no…

_ Zack. _

“Stop it,” Cloud snips. He can’t watch this. Sees the sharp cuts appearing on ShinRa Zack and the wincing as he moves around Cloud to protect him. 

“Wha-no way. Are you crazy, Cloudy-Sky. Get behind me,” ShinRa Zack says back. There’s the nick-name again. The one Zack only started to mumble during Cloud’s coma. Has he always wanted to call him that then? 

So sweet. 

“No,” Cloud rolls his eyes, “not you.” 

He steps around. Lets ShinRa Zack duck and slash out once more before Cloud kneels and darts forward. The dark mass jumps and shakes in place. Falls back and just...runs away from Cloud. It hovers in the air a short distance away.

“Stop it. I know what you’re doing,” Cloud tries again. He does know. He does it himself all the time. 

The hate in him that always wants to come out. The hate that only festers in insecurity and anxiousness. It’s infectious and Cloud should have seen it growing in Zack faster. To be this mad…this frantic need to destroy parts of himself. 

Fuck. Cloud blinks away tears. 

The rage must smell it in the wind, the salt from his sadness. Something changes. The lightning around it stops and it shrinks down in size. In fast, glitchy patterns, the smoke clears and comes back. Clears and comes back. There in the middle of the mass-Zack. With his long hair and the deep scar on his jaw.  _ His Zack.  _

“It’s okay, I need to go to him,” Cloud tells ShinRa Zack. 

“No, you are insane? It’ll kill you!” Zack says to him. Rounds around with fear-filled eyes and won’t step out of Cloud’s way. 

See...it’s the conflict then, that’s causing all the difficulty. The hurt in Zack so much he can’t take it anymore, but the sweetness in him. 

He’s protecting Cloud…

“Zack. Stop. I don’t need protection from  _ you. _ ” 

ShinRa Zack gasps a little. So softly the wind takes it away. He stumbles back and Cloud jerks as a buster sword slices right through his torso. Just as the kid version, he cracks around the wound and turns to dust. Disappears into the air and only the bundle of rage is left. He hovers close to Cloud. Becoming the shape of Zack slowly.

“He’s right you know,” the rage says. Duel-toned and  _ so, _ so dark and deep, “I’ll end up killing you.”

“Go ahead then,” Cloud dares it. Dares Zack to try and be as evil as he’s thinking he is, “do it. Kill me.”

He can’t tell yet. If that was the right thing to say. But the shadow of rage grows again, keeps Zack’s form, and starts to shake with its anger. It raises the buster with the most heart-breaking, rasp of a scream-it slashes at him. 

A tiny sting of pain on his cheek. The buster blade so close to his skin. Cloud can smell the metal and the rust. The hands of shadow holding it shake on their own. 

And after. After the echo of that scream comes a whimper. 

“Zack,” Cloud steps in. Let’s the smoke surround him and choke him, “It’s okay Zack.”

“No, get away. Leave,” it’s more like Zack’s voice this close. His face becoming more flesh and less shadow, “I can’t...I can’t protect you this close.”

“From you?” Cloud smiles at him. Hopes it comes off as gentle as he wants, “Don’t think you have to worry about that.”

He won’t be able to fix this with touch, not this time. It’s not working anymore. Zack needs a different release now. No more quick endorphins and ignoring it until they have time to fuck again. 

“Except I do!” Zack’s whole body flares out the smoke, reveals his tanned skin and scared shoulders. The shadows leave him but the rage stays. The wind takes most of the smoke and lightning, leaving behind his normal bones. The rest of the shadows soak up into his scream. Gather into his eyes so they hide the glow and show the constellations that have been growing in his pupils. Spread all out in his eyes now; shimmering in the black.

“You don’t, you were injured and I was under Seph-”

“-it doesn’t matter,” Zack growls at him, tries to pull away. His eyes burn even through the cold black and the stars, “what good am I if I can’t control myself!” 

The wind swirls tightly around them and the shadows fogging from Zack’s eyes pulse, his body seems to rip apart double, vibrate together and slam back into one as he tries to control his rage. Cloud doesn’t know what’s happening. Why Zack’s split apart like this in his mind. 

Maybe it doesn’t matter, just as long as Cloud can help him. 

Zack’s always been there. Strong for him, never gave up on him. If Cloud has to do this every day, he will. Until Zack feels put back together and on his way to healing. Right now, he’s nowhere near that. Falling back into the rage. 

So Cloud will use what always works. Distraction, interrupt the loop. It stings, the rage is flickering this close and cuts at his face but he presses in and drags his lips across Zack’s. They are rough and he’s off-center. Gets in a sharp nip to bring focus into Zack’s mind before he softens completely against him. Laps at the bite he put into Zack’s bottom lip and eases back into a sweeter, patient kiss. 

“I forgive you, Zack. You just have to forgive yourself.”

‘I can’t,’ echos in the sky. That’s fine. Cloud will hang on to him, suffer through the stinging cuts, and the hot rage with him. It doesn’t matter how long or how many times his body throbs in pain along with Zack’s. He won’t let go. 

“You can’t, Cloud,” Zack’s scream mellows. He wraps his arms around Cloud and hauls him close. A contradiction. Wants Cloud as far away from him as possible but can’t bear being separated from him, “I keep failing.”

“I don’t see it that way.”

“How…everything has just gotten worse. I was supposed to keep you safe, get us away from all this shit.”

“Zack. You think I have then? Failed?”

It’s the other thing that draws Zack back into reality, himself. It works instantly. The stinging from his rage ends and Zack inhales as if Cloud has personally insulted him. 

“No, that’s different Cloud. Fuck, you’ve been thro-”

“-the same thing you have. Except I was asleep for most of it.”

The wind clams. The storm coming in lightens. The last of the black fog fades from Zack. His body comes back more, but his eyes. They stay deep and dark with the stars. He is changing, Cloud hasn’t been imagining it. 

“There’s a part of me missing and I don’t know where it is.”

Must be why then, he split himself apart. Keep the parts he likes from disappearing too? The burden is too strong. Zack’s taken on so much responsibility for too long. Another sting of anger at himself flares in Cloud. Should have seen it earlier. Repeats it in his head. 

“You don’t have to feel like before. Zack, let me help you find the parts you want.” 

“The fuck, Spikes,” Zack knocks their heads together, “How’d you get so good that this?”

“You’re it you know. The only one who’s done impossible things for me. Share the weight, you’re carrying too much.”

Zack chokes on a small sound. Trembles all over with sadness and the rage finally leaves completely. He falls down into Cloud’s shoulder; gasps struggling and watery. 

“Even if you gotta tell me every day?”

He laughs, nuzzles his nose into Zack’s cheek, “twice a day.” 

It’s not his full-body, warm laugh. Hardly even a chuckle-doesn’t matter- whatever it is feels lighter and Cloud will take whatever he can get. The mountains don’t disappear but the storm does and the grass flickers silver. Flattens out and flips to reflect the clearing skies above. More and more Zack’s headspace. 

Dragging his lips lightly along Zack’s cheek, he tugs at his ears to get him to look up, “wanna stay here, feel safer?”

A sadder laugh, “I’m okay. Sorry, I-”

“-Zack come on. You’re not okay. You can not be okay.”

“Right,” another laugh. Watery but better than the others, “okay, okay. How ‘bout, I’m gettin’ there.”

It’s Zack’s move. Cloud grabs his chin and pulls his face to him where he wants to plant a wet kiss against his lips. 

“See ya in the waking side.”

He’s never tried going into Zack’s mind while still awake. Somehow they just fall into each other in sleep or when pain takes them for some comfort. It’s a weird sensation; cooling water trickles down his arms and his back. Leaves trails of tingling that aren’t actually there. He tastes the mint again and everything goes to that misty white for a moment. 

The salty air still lingering in the HIGHWIND comes to him first. Chases away the mako mint and clears his senses faster. Zack’s breathing is even; still curled in his side with drying tear tracks. It’s alright if he wants to hide still. Cloud understands that the most. Leaning over Zack he pushes back some of his hair. Brushes his lips over his temple and slides down to curl around Zack. 

His simple touch brings a sigh forward and Zack twists in Cloud’s arms before he can get comfortable. Shuffles down, shoving his face into Cloud’s chest, and half throws his body over Cloud’s. Trapping him into a semi-sitting position, but it’s fine. Their pillows are fluffy against his back and this way Cloud can wrap his arms around Zack better.

He tugs Zack up a tiny bit more, rests his cheek on his head, and keeps Zack against him with an arm around his back. Cloud won’t sleep like this; it’s too early in the day anyway and Cloud’s found the clearer his mind is the less he wants to sleep.

He’s been doing that for years. Now he wants to be awake and watch the slow parting of Zack’s lips. Listen to his sighs and deep rumbles in his chest. Absently, Cloud rubs at Zack’s scalp with the tips of his fingers. Gently smooths the strains of hair back in slow strokes. He repeats it and stares at the door, listening to Zack’s breathing.

He can wait. 

***

It feels wrong to watch the HIGHWIND hover off the ground without the hum under her feet and the slightly sick feeling rocking in her stomach. They slept one last night on board, rooms booked back at the inn for the remainder of the week. 

For one second Aerith feels a panic that she won’t be seeing the coppery underside of the airship again. Wouldn’t be the first time. Endless lifetimes of wandering on their feet and sleeping under trees and around campfires. 

She hums, worries when that time will come here. 

“Whelp,” Jessie says behind her, “guess we’re stranded.” 

She doesn’t sound worried at all. Even has a wide grin plastered on her face when Aerith turns to find her rocking back on her heels. Tifa laughs at her side, eyeing Cloud and Zack standing tense together farther from their little group. 

“At least if they forget about us, we’re stuck by the ocean.”

“Yeah, all the sunburns and salty air we want,” Wedge grumbles. 

“Don’t like the beach Wedge?” Jessie’s already teasing him, grabbing both him and Biggs by their arms, “too bad, we’re there every day until that bird comes flying back for us.”

“Aw-man, wait, Jes, can we get-” but she’s already dragging them far into the crowd towards the inn that Wedge’s voice gets lost in the noise. 

Tifa snorts through another laugh, “come on, let’s give the boys some space.”

Aerith nods. Zack’s not looking great. Dark circles and ridge spine. Sticks close to Cloud while hovering farther than he normally does. It makes the soft touches Cloud reaches out to give him all the more sweet. 

And heartbreaking. 

Her arms tingle. She can smell the church and her yellow flowers. Hears Zack’s quiet sobs from years ago. He’d hid from her then. Hunched his back and folded in on himself. She always imagined that pained look on his face though-like the one that just can’t seem to disappear now. 

Even with Cloud stepping closer it doesn’t really melt away. 

“You think....I’ve broken them enough.” It slips out of her mouth, heavy on her tongue. She doesn’t mean to, but the thoughts have been so consuming lately. So random that this time out in the freeing air they finally become free themselves. 

“Geez,” Tifa’s voice is soft. Washes over her comfortably, follows with her strong arm on her shoulders, “you think you can give yourself a break instead?” 

Aerith laughs, small and sad. Still, it unlocks a bit of her guilt. Tifa’s yelled at her enough about it. Break the thoughts. She knows Cloud doesn’t blame her and Zack...Zack’s always persevered through and came out stronger in the end. 

For some reason, she hears his desperate pleas for help in other timelines. The ones where Cloud is shaking and succumbing to the pain in his arm. 

Always for Cloud. That tone. 

“Come on, Aerith, get those thoughts outta your pretty head.” 

“Okay, okay. Sorry. Guess I need the ocean too.”

Tifa smiles, leans in, and presses her pouty lips to her temple. Tugs gently on her braid.

“Yeah, come on. They’ll find their way. Let’s go make sure the trio don’t buy out all the food at that little convenience store by the boardwalk.”

It’s early in the morning but everyone is already bustling around the coastal town. Bodies rushing around and pressing in tight. Out here in the sun and the ease of a resort town no one is worried about boundaries and politeness. Kids rush about and there’s constant shouting. Larger groups tossing around their beach gear and people just stopping in their tracts. 

For a few seconds, Aerith worries it’s going to set something off in both their SOLDIER boys. 

“Over there, see the bouncy ponytail. Jessie!” Tifa shouts, picks up her pace, and grabs Aerith’s hand to tug along with her. The sudden uptick shakes her once again guilty thoughts. 

She hopes whatever happens while they are here, it cleanses all their souls. Gaia has said-without it her timeline memories will never become clear. She hopes Kunsel doesn’t kick the hornet's nest too much. Not with half their team following him. With Barret keeping watch over them. 

Catching up to Jessie, Biggs, and Wedge is a short weaving maze that reminds her of Wall Market. The noise and the hustling does help already. It’s harder in the sun and with lots of cheer around her, sprouting in bursts and clipped conversations, to keep falling into her odd Cetra abilities. 

Except the trees here, the nice palms and soft blowing seagrass. Sounds so happy and alive. They sway in the breeze and she catches small delighted murmurs from them. It’s nice from the contrast of Nibelheim’s silent grave of planets. 

A bit of relaxation, some time. 

Looking for the green. 

Yeah, it’ll work this time. Feels it in the air. Aerith smiles at Tifa. Watches her hair slide off her bare shoulder and her eyes glint a honey-red brown in the sunlight. 

Cloud and Zack will feel it too. She knows it. 

***

The room at the resort is nice. Small and clean with large glass doors going out to a balcony. It’s colder, air conditioning keeping the heat out, even so early in the morning. 

Cloud takes note of Zack eyeing the large tub in the bathroom as they pass. 

In the corner, a large soft chair with too many bags from yesterday’s shopping incident sits mockingly. Half of them are for Zack anyway. Unaware of the horrors Tifa and Arieth have inflicted on him. Cloud ignores it for now, he wants to make sure Zack is feeling calmer. He’d put up a pretty big pout about being dragged off the HIGHWIND. Worried that their group was splitting and getting left behind. Cloud thought Zack was going to punch Kunsel when he’d swung by and mentioned the HIGHWIND was taking a small detour. 

If Zack didn’t desperately need a break, Cloud would have fought harder on going with. Knowing Zack can’t seem to fathom staying out of the action for longer than a second. Cloud…he understands. Doesn’t like being coddled, lied to, and kept in the dark. He’s strong and he can hold his own. But he’s also tired and the whistness in Zack is too noticeable to let it go on any longer.

He at least doesn’t seem as hesitant to press his touches harder into Cloud’s skin. He even headbutted him harder than usual this morning. Nuzzling their noses together and leaning in for a dry, nippy morning kiss. 

Their link is buzzing happily for the most part. Zack has yet to box in his fading anxiety about being in Costa Del Sol. Small in the low tones of contentment. It’s always the surprising thing about Zack. He’s fast to recover emotionally. Where Cloud lingers in his uncertainty and self-doubt, Zack just needs a few good pushes and he’s right back at the top. Ready for the world and full of energy. 

He’s almost there now. 

Cloud smiles, watches Zack step farther into the room, stop at the neatly made bed, and glance around. Everything is light and has beachy themes, even the furniture is all washed with off grey and worn driftwood. Stands out against Zack’s dark hair and already tanning skin. They were only out in the sun for an hour tops. He’s addicting to stare at, the more golden undertones coming out and darkening the freckles on his shoulders. Without his shoulder armor on, they stand out even in the dimmer room. Cloud watches him stand there-waits for a slight nerves tick to sting in his mind before he comes up behind Zack. 

Maybe a few weeks ago, he’d hesitate. Now, sliding up against Zack’s back and wrapping his arms around his middle is as natural as breathing. He doesn’t have to think about it. 

“Hm?” 

“Wanna talk?” Cloud hears the answer in his head. ‘ _ Not really _ ’. Feels the stiffening of Zack’s body.

“Nah...I-just ya know, everythin’ was goin’ to shit when I was sent here...just feels weird,” That much from Zack is better than nothing, and all the shorting accent and slang is telling. More than Cloud has gotten in days and it’s all mixed with positive emotions. 

Better by the hour. 

“Distraction then?”

The hitch in Zack’s breath covers the faint ‘ _ yeah-that’ll be great _ ’ in Cloud’s head. Clear It’s just something else that has become as natural as breathing; feeling Zack’s presence within himself.

To be honest, he’s always felt him near. Even back in Nibelheim, in the dark labs when Cloud was swimming between mako poisoning and drugged up experiments. Somehow, he always knew Zack wasn’t far. Getting used to him constantly pressing against his own subconscious has barely been a transition. 

Ignoring the shake in his arms that comes with his hesitation of making the first move (he’s way better, he _ is _ .) Besides the more he clears his own head of doubt, the more he feels like Zack. Can’t and doesn’t want to keep his hands to himself. He doesn’t even care if some of it is Zack’s constant need bleeding through. A distraction he can give him, but Cloud won’t let it be the only healing Zack gets from now on. 

Against Zack’s torso, his hands don’t shake as much. Easier to slide down over his SOLDIER uniform. Trace the indents between his sculpted stomach; listening intently to Zack’s breath hitch and unbuckle the belts he’s always hated. Teasingly slow, Cloud unbuttons his trousers, the noise loud in the room. 

Zack’s inhale is sharper and louder. Comes out faster. Encouraging. 

His pace is a distraction enough and Cloud’s not looking to tease Zack. He wants him relaxed and pulling away from whatever stressful memories the coast brings him. Pressing fully against him; Cloud dips his hand down the front of his pants and slips under his boxer-briefs. 

Zack’s half-hard and throbs under Cloud’s grip as he takes him in his hand. Pants loudly and leans back into Cloud’s body, looking for a grounding spot. 

“Mm-C-Cloud, I-” Low, gritty, dark. Zack’s been thinking about him then. For his voice to succumb so quickly at the lightest touch. 

He’ll never be able to speak to Zack like he wants. The...dirty talk, it still doesn’t feel right on his tongue. But maybe…

“Let me,” Cloud trails off. Knows his voice is often too gentle or too harsh. He’s nervous he’s fallen on the softer side. Strokes hard down Zack’s thick length to make up for it. 

Seems to work out. Zack trembles and hunches down. Grasps onto Cloud’s wrist and moans as he picks up his pace. Keeps the weight of his arm along Cloud's. It’s enough trust and slack for Cloud to shift his grip. Push some of his confidence through and surround Zack with warm crackling in their heads. 

As easy as accepting Zack’s consciousness into his own, Cloud falls into a soft focus. His heart thudding hard each time Zack’s cock jumps twitches in neediness. He still can’t believe all this lust is for him. 

_ Because _ of him. 

“Ah-of course, ah-f-fuck, Beautiful,” Zack gasps out. Must hear the echo of Cloud’s thoughts. That's been more prevalent lately too. Hearing each other’s voices. 

With Cloud’s next fast stroke, he tightens his grip even more. Managing another strangled moan from Zack as he bends down-only to jerk forward into Cloud’s tightening hand and arch back. 

Cloud feels the layers of his hair tickle the side of his face. Feels the muscles in Zack’s back contract and shift against his forehead. Placing a soft kiss into the fabric, Cloud thumbs over Zack’s thick head; gathering precome to slick up his grip and get a faster wrist flick going. It’s not much, not in comparison to their usual. Not intense or desperate. 

Cloud’s only half hard. This isn’t for him. He doesn’t want the lust consuming him this time. Zack’s always so focused and tentative on him. As much as he can sense that Zack needs it like that as much as Cloud does-this time is different. 

A few more tight, fast strokes gets Zack’s moans a bit breathier and higher. Cloud smiles against his back. Waves of affection pulsing in him. He’s never noticed until this moment. The slight tilt at the end of Zack’s moans. Gets stuck in his throat and stutters out with his air. Clear in pleasure and heat. 

Cloud swallows thicky and ignores the throb his own cock does. Places yet another small kiss and turns Zack. Shoves him back and down onto the bed with a tiny push to the center of his chest. 

Kneeling will bother his knees later with the hardwood floor of the room, but Cloud doesn’t care. He flows down, gripping Zack’s knees and spreading his legs so he can fit comfortably between them. 

“C-Cloud, wait-You don’t have to.”

“ _ Shh _ ,” Cloud hisses. Scoots in close and tugs Zack’s flushed red, thick cock complete out of his pants, “I told you. Let me. I wanna focus on you.” 

Besides, Zack clearly wants him to.

Licking his lips to wet them, Cloud leans in. Nuzzles his nose against the side of Zack’s cock. Places a delicate kiss up his length; the last right over his leaking slit. Glances up to watch Zack’s face fall into pleasure as he takes as much of Zack into his mouth as he can. It’s not so hard at the right angle. Cloud shifts some more, rests his elbows on Zack’s thighs, and presses his palms flat on the taught skin just under his navel. Being directly over, Cloud can take more of him into his mouth. Suck a little harder without choking and bob down quickly to engulf Zack’s thick cock. 

Without Zack guiding his head or thrusting his hips to hit at the back of his throat, Cloud can’t take him down every time. Alternates his tongue swirling around the slightly flared head and dipping into his slit every time. Slowly licks across the soft skin of him. Follows it up with a fast dip. 

He repeats it, switching up the pattern every other time. Counts it out with little taps against Zack’s skin. Precome floods his mouth when he sucks a tad too fast and hard as he’s pulling off. A throbbing jerk follows every head swirl.

His jaw starts to ache faster than before but Zack’s moans are guttural and shaky. His thighs tensing and relaxing under his arms. Spurs Cloud on. To ignore the tightness behind his ears. He lets his saliva pool and drips down Zack’s cock for an easier slide. 

He’s rewarded with a shout, a hip jerk, and Zack’s hand grasping at his hair. Holding his head but not pushing him farther down onto his cock. Just grabbing his blonde locks for any kind of stabilizing. 

“D-damn, Cloudy-Sky. I-fuck, I’m not gonna last you keep this up.”

Good. Cloud doesn’t want him to last. He wants to pull that orgasm out of Zack nice and fast after he’s built him up. Sucks down extra hard, hollowing out his cheeks. Almost there, the wrecked tired tone in his voice and the near-constant throb of the vein on the left side of his cock. 

Cloud closes his eyes, helps him relax his jaw. Takes a deep inhale through his nose and shoves down. Swallowing Zack’s cock until it’s near choking him; his nose buried into the soft hair at the base. Zack shouts, hand finally pushing down on the back of Cloud’s head to keep him still. 

He loves this part. When he can feel every muscle in Zack’s body contract and shake and break apart as he comes. Goes tense like a wire before he snaps and falls into a loose shaking puddle of looseness. Knowing he can do that to Zack. 

_ For _ Zack. 

Cloud takes as much of Zack’s come as he can. Focuses on the feel of his cock, pulses on his tongue and grabs Zack’s thighs to keep from wanting air. Just a bit longer. Takes all Zack is giving him and pulls off with just the slightest bit of come still dripping down Zack’s spent cock. 

Looking up at Zack from between his legs gets him twitching again. But he doesn’t harden. 

Keeps his hand in Cloud’s hair though. Strokes down to the nape of his neck and tenderly pulls at the baby hairs growing there. Cloud’s ears are buzzing with a far away crackling and Zack’s bursting afterglow taming down into a warm haze. Catching his breath, Cloud leans his head down on the inside of Zack’s thigh and looks up at him. Knows he’s all glossy and dopey even though he’s straining in these shitty jeans he’s still wearing. 

They have a tender staring contest in the quiet. 

Eventually, Zack does get Cloud under his hands. Takes Cloud apart with his tongue shoved in his ass and hands stroking his cock. 

It’s later. After they’ve cuddled together for a while. Cloud wants to wait, watches Zack closely to make sure his unrest doesn’t return. At least not as strongly. To his happy surprise, it doesn’t return at all. Instead, Zack keeps brushing the point of his cheekbone with his knuckles. Taps at the bridge of Cloud’s nose and can’t stop smiling at him with half-lidded eyes and a lazy smile. 

And then it’s the long, tender rimming that leads to lazy fucking even later. 

Tifa will give him so much shit, they stayed the first day at the beach holed up in the resort room. Still getting lost in each other and shutting out the world. 

Small steps. Cloud got Zack off the airship. And he’s not hesitant to touch him anymore. 

There is a small sad moment in the middle of the night when Cloud wakes from a sharp pain in his left arm. Rolls over to cuddle into Zack’s neck and meets worried, sleepy hazy eyes. They stare at him as if Cloud isn’t awake and looking back. 

Haunted. 

Cloud buries into his skin. Breathes him in, the slight tangy, deep smell in his skin. Still some shadows but Cloud doubts either of them will ever rid it completely. So instead of trying to fix it this time. Cloud mouths so lightly into Zack’s shoulder. 

‘I love you.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, I am so dead, editing late again is my final resting place.
> 
> Thanks for reading guys-maybe I'll chat more here when I am more awake. XD
> 
> PS. The beach in the near future yesss

**Author's Note:**

> Soooo? Tell me what you think! I'm nervous about posting since I haven't done any fandom stuff in years and I've all but abandoned my TW fics. But, I won't do that to this one. I'm older, a changed woman. lol I'm high on the FFVIIR life. Thanks again, lets all drown in Clack hell together.
> 
> *Edit:* megan1114 has been so lovely to spend time translating my fic into Chinese! That's a lot of work! So sweet of you!
> 
> http://www.mtslash.me/thread-317436-1-1.html


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